#I'm sure she considers the pros and cons whenever she's planning on doing something which will garner a lot of attention

[girlitfeelsgood]

y'all are kinda pissing me off rn ngl

[whottheactualfudge]

kiss

pairing — kwon soonyoung / hoshi (svt) | reader

genre — friends to lovers | fluff | non-idol au

warning — drinking (of age) + a lot of kissing

word count — 3892

summary — moving into a new apartment wasn’t the only thing that was going to change for you

The night was only beginning as your two friends waltzed into your living room, shouting to announce their arrival in your new apartment.

  “Y/N!” one of your closest friends, (F/N (friend’s name)), yelled.

  “In here!” you responded from a nearby room, poking your head out to smile at them before hurrying out to greet them swiftly. “Sorry, I’m almost done.” You knew that many more people were about to arrive, so you air-kissed them quickly and ran back to your room.

  Looking at yourself in the mirror, you sighed, seeing that your makeup still needed a little bit of adjusting, as well as your hair. 

   "Ahh Y/N, you have to relax," your male friend, Soonyoung, commented. "It's just a party. You've had them before."

   "But I'm super late —"

   "You're not late at all!" He interrupted, smiling, but shaking his head. "No one's here yet."

   You let out a groan, beginning to curl your lashes. "That doesn't mean that I'm not late!"

   "Soonyoung’s right," F/N said as she stood to your left and looked at you in the mirror. "Chill. It'll be great."

   "Easy for you to say," you retorted, applying mascara. "You're ready." A smile stretched across your face when you glanced at her for a brief moment. "You look great, by the way. I love your hair."

   She grinned before lightly punching you in the shoulder. "Thank you! It took about two hours!"

   To your right, Soonyoung grumbled and rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, you both look good and it takes you both forever to get ready; we get it."

   "Shut up." You scoffed, adding finishing touches to your hair as you looked at him. "Besides...you also look good, Soonyoung."

   "Ha, I always look good." He joked, doing a hair flip that didn't exactly work since he had short hair.

  “I think it’s great that you’re having this party,” F/N mentioned before you could sarcastically reply to Soonyoung. “It’s the best way to announce, ‘this is my new home. Come on over and trash it whenever you want to’.”

  It was your turn to roll your eyes. “It’s a housewarming party, F/N. It’s not like you guys were gonna throw one for me.”

  “If you had asked, we would have!” Soonyoung countered, overreacting offense.

  “Whatever.” You said. “Let’s just clear the boxes before anyone else shows up. There’s room in the back.”

  Without a word, F/N walked out of the room. You started to follow when Soonyoung abruptly stopped you by putting his arm around your waist. He looked at you and smirked, flirtatiously raising a brow.

  With a nervous chuckle and a slight shake of your head, you curiously looked into his brown eyes. He had been acting quite strange recently; flirting with you a lot and doing a lot of things he never did at first. You were giggly and full of butterflies whenever he did so, therefore it wasn’t much of a problem — but, you couldn’t help but feel like it was a bit odd, and wonder, why now, after 3 years of knowing you and being a close friend to you?

  A part of you didn’t like it since that part of you worried that he was only doing it for a reason you hated to admit to yourself.

  (Just. Sex.)

  “What?” you smiled, feeling a blush creep into your cheeks.

  “Are you going to wear heels tonight?” he questioned, removing his hold off your waist.

  “Most probably…why?”

  “Argh,” he threw his head back as he groaned. “Nothing, nothing…just don’t wear anything that would hurt your feet. Whenever you wore heels somewhere, you always end up taking them off. Do I need to remind you?”

  “Soonyoung, that would only happen after hours upon hours of walking. This is my apartment; I think I can manage to walk around in here as much as I want to without feeling the need to remove them.”

  He seemed unconvinced. “Are you going to get incredibly drunk?”

  For some reason, the question bothered you. “No, not tonight; I’ve got early plans tomorrow.” You answered with a frown, and he took notice.

  “All right,” Soonyoung nodded. Looking away, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry for all the questions. It’s a new neighborhood…”

  A part of you felt like it was an excuse for something you couldn’t quite understand, but you let it go. “It’s fine, Soonyoung. I appreciate it.”

  Looking up, he smiled at you unevenly, and you couldn’t help but return it.

  “…D-did I tell you that you look beautiful?” he murmured, clearly nervous as he inched closer to you, making you take a step back.

  “I think so,” your smile almost faded as your blush deepened; a part of you held your ground while another part wanted to back off. You weren’t exactly sure which part of you was louder – or rather, which was the right one to listen to.

  “Am I third-wheeling here?” F/N exclaimed from behind Soonyoung, carrying plastic plates and cups in both of her hands.

  Soonyoung visibly jolted and looked over his shoulder at her, but didn’t say a word.

  “N-no, no, sorry, F/N,” you stuttered, walking past Soonyoung and joining her. “He just wanted to discuss something about the apartment.”

  “OK, good. Let’s get started, then.”

                                            ✧ ✧ ✧

Finally, the party had come to an end.

  The apartment felt warm and smaller than it actually was, and you felt comfortable; as though you had been living here for an entire semester already.

  “I’ll see you next week!” you called out after your last guest departed your new home. “Bye!”

  You closed the door and leaned against it briefly before striding over to your couch, dropping onto it with a smile on your face. You weren’t sleepy, but you were tired, and you couldn’t wait to go to bed.

  Scratch that — you didn’t want to go to bed; you barely wanted to move. You pulled the blanket on the couch over your legs and let out a deep sigh, letting go of the stress that had been sitting on your shoulders the entire night.

  “Aaaand done!” Soonyoung appeared to your right, clapping his hands together as though he had just finished building something. You faintly jumped at his exclamation, thinking that you were alone in the flat until he showed up. “Your apartment is now as clean as it can be, after its first party. Congrats! It has been deflowered.” He snickered at his silly joke.

  You groaned as you sank further into your couch, kicking off your heels and putting your legs up. “Thank you so much, Soonyoung. You’re a godsend.”

  “So I’ve been told,” he shrugged, joining you on the sofa and placing the blanket over himself as well. A couple seconds passed before he turned to you and asked, timidly, “Do you mind if I…?”

  He meant to put his arm around you as he gestured to your shoulders. His slightly uneven jawline made his small, unintentional pout even cuter than it already was.

  Without hesitation, you replied with, “No! Of course not; why would I? I mean, not from you, at least.”

  Chuckling, he placed his arm around you as you leaned onto him and located your head on his chest, wondering whether or not you could put your arm around his waist this time. You kept thinking of asking him, but the words never came out, and you didn’t know if it were because you were tired, or shy.

  Endless thoughts began to race through your head; it was the first time you and Soonyoung did something like this. Suddenly, he asked, “What are we watching?” interrupting your train of thought.

  “Flip through the channels.” You smiled, when in fact you weren’t even remotely focused on what was on the TV ahead of the both of you.

  What did this mean, if it meant anything at all? You wondered, somewhat anxious. Has Soonyoung liked me the entire time we were friends, or is it something recent? Does he even like me at all, or is he just being really nice? Are we going to start dating now? Or is this some sort of ‘sign’ of extreme friend-zoning me…? Like when girls are extra touchy with their gay best friends?

  You never thought of Soonyoung in that way; there were a few times when the thought would cross your mind, but you never actually – seriously – considered it. And at that moment, you asked yourself, why didn’t I?

  The notion intrigued you, in a way. Your train of thought returned, bringing forth endless scenarios as you recalled all the times you spent with him. It’s not like you two had been close friends since childhood – no; you two met and became close right before the two of you graduated from high school. Speaking to him and spending time with him was the highlight of your days, especially since he could always find ways to make you laugh.

  Still — there was a lot to go on.

  You questioned every move he made. And then began to question yourself.  This was what you had in mind as the minutes passed:

  Dating Soonyoung PROS:

• He’s so!!! cute!!!!!!!! But also sexy?

• SO talented. I could listen to him singing forever

• Always making me laugh. Hilarious

• Is my closest friend!! <3 thankfully. I’m so lucky to have met him

• One of the BEST people I know. Seriously. So open-minded and accepting.

• Supportive and encouraging. Wouldn’t have done so many things if it weren’t for him

  Dating Soonyoung CONS:

• Can be obnoxious and mean. It hurts me, sometimes

• Will totally make F/N the third wheel –  which is the worst thing!

• Is my closest friend…

• So…it might ruin the friendship if it doesn’t work out. Maybe there’s a way to avoid ruining it?

• Often childish (((((not immature))))) but still annoying in a way

• Not always available…busy. So many times when I wanted to talk to him, he was busy

  “Closest friend” ended up being on both lists since you didn’t know if it were an actual con or a pro. Talking to him about what’s been going on in your life was the only stress reliever you knew you needed – there were not many people you could open up to the same way you opened up to Soonyoung, excluding F/N, since you could tell her anything.

  Still; with Soonyoung, it was different.

  Maybe deep down, I always knew there was something more, you thought.

  “Aw hell yeah!” he abruptly exclaimed as he adjusted himself on the couch beside you, which resulted in his hand finding its way to your waist — again. “I love this movie. I hope you don’t mind me restarting it.”

  “No, go ahead.” You looked at the TV but your mind was elsewhere; mostly, you were focused on him. The sound of his voice and his steady heartbeat, the way you shifted when he laughed, and the way his thumb was rubbing your elbow and his fingers clenching around your clothes – like he wanted something a bit more.

                                 ✧ ✧ ✧

“Psst, Y/N. Wake up. It’s almost 3:30. I gotta go.”

  You felt a soft tap on your cheek as Soonyoung gently shook you to consciousness. “Why are you still here…so late?” you asked, slowly lifting yourself off of him and faintly opening your eyes, looking at him. Even though you had just woken up, you immediately took note of your arm around him. “And why did you let me fall asleep?”

  “I was watching the movie,” he said, as-a-matter-of-factly. “And…I couldn’t wake you. Not right away. You deserved to sleep – even if it were just for a little bit – after such a busy day.”

  You sighed, feeling yourself cave in from his thoughtfulness. “You’re so sweet, Soonyoung. Thank you.”

  He chuckled, removing his arm from around you as he glanced away briefly, and then looking at you again. It was quiet; you watched his eyes dart from your own, your lips and your surroundings. For a moment, it appeared as though he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth.

  It felt like the both of you were slowly inching closer to each other. You watched as his eyes began to close —

  And then, it happened. Your nerves took over, making your heart pound and your insides shake.

  You didn’t know who exactly initiated it, or who leaned in first; all you knew was that…it felt so wonderful. It felt like something you had been wanting for the longest time, and now, you finally have it; like a breath of fresh air after being stuck in a closed-off room for hours.

  When the kiss was over, it was silent again. Soonyoung’s cheeks were visibly pink as he gazed at you, only inches away from your face; the tips of your noses still touching, along with your lips. He said your name, but you only hummed a response.

  You breathed in his scent as your eyes closed once more, enclosing the space that separated the two of you. Placing your hand on his neck, your fingers entwined with the tips of his hair as you continued to kiss – slowly, as though you had all the time in the world, as though you two had been in love for the longest time and the truth had finally revealed itself. In a peculiar way, you felt liberated.

  He’s kissing me back, you thought. For the second time. It must mean something, right? He didn’t reject me, after all. Didn’t change the subject. Didn’t awkwardly move away or dig up an excuse to leave. Could this be the beginning of something new between us?

  His hand roamed your back as his other hand ran up your thigh, delicately pulling you closer. You took notice of the way he was kissing you; like it was something he had always wanted to do as well, breathing you in and gripping you close, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

  And you did the same: stayed as near to him as you could be, your fingers in his hair and your hand on his neck, unable to detach yourself from him as you fell for the way he moved and the way he smelled.

  He took one deep breath before reluctantly parting from you, however still placing small kisses on and around your lips.

  “U...um…” he breathed, leaning on his shoulder as he watched you through tired eyes. You separated, becoming two individual beings once more. “I should get going.” He continued, rubbing his eyes before ruffling up his hair. He looked down at where his hands were now resting on his lap, and glanced up at you again. For some reason, you felt as though he were upset.

  He didn’t say anything. He just looked at you, and smiled softly before turning and standing. “Sorry if I kept you up.”

  “No, Soonyoung,” you peeped and then cleared your throat. “You didn’t…what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” he sighed, disheveling his hair again and shaking his head, looking at the front door as if he wanted to leave right then and there. “I just…I thought it would be different. I wanted it to be different.”

  You blinked. “…Different?”

  Had he been planning something…? And how long was he planning it for?

  “Yeah,” he admitted, glancing at you. “A bit more…romantic, I hoped. Not after a party…”

  “Romantic?”

  “Yes.” He sighed heavily, plopping back down onto the couch and rubbing his face. It looked as though he were preparing himself to say something. “I’ve…” he was staring at his hands, playing around with his fingers, looking for the right words to say. “I kind of…really enjoy being around you…and… maybe, like you, in a way, so I wanted to confess differently. Do things a bit differently.”

  You couldn’t say anything, especially when he looked at you. You didn’t know what exactly was going to happen after the kiss, but things were abruptly clearer to you, and in your head, you kept telling yourself, I should have thought about it more; about what would happen once the kiss was over.

  “It’s okay…” you managed to say, not entirely sure that you, yourself, believed in it. “These things usually happen when you least expect them to. I think that makes it romantic, in a way, too.”

  He looked tense. “…And?”

  “And…? And what?”

  “What do you think?” he looked at you, back at his hands, and back at you, continuously, nervously. “Do you like me…?”

  Only a part of you knew the answer to that, but at the same time, you weren’t sure. Still, you felt the need to reassure him. “I mean…I kissed you, didn’t I?”

  I do like Soonyoung, you told yourself. He’s my closest friend. And maybe…maybe something more, from now on. I’m certain that I like him.

  “…You’re not drunk…or tipsy at all, are you?” he questioned carefully, almost seeming like he regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth.

  You chose not to complicate it. “I did drink a little bit from here and there, so I am a little tipsy, even after a nap…but I’m being honest, Soonyoung.”

  At the sound of your words, he grinned. You saw the happiness reach his eyes and you wanted to do nothing more than embrace him tightly, caress his hair and continue to kiss him.

  He bit his lip, holding back a laugh, still looking at his hands.

  He’s so cute.

  “Okay…” nodding slowly, he chuckled, appearing relieved. “Okay, then. It’s not exactly what I had in mind…but I’m okay with this.” He turned to you and smiled, making you blush and smile in return. “I’ll come back later, okay Y/N?”

  “Where are you going?” you snickered, unable to stop smiling. It was unexpected, but you were happy, too; it was as if his presence made you all warm and fuzzy, for the first time.

   He must’ve seen the sad look in your eyes since he started talking faster – but he also laughed. “Not-not because I don’t want to stay…I want to, I really do, but I have to go. I have an early shift tomorrow and it’s almost 4 AM…my shift starts at 8.”

  “I like you, Soonyoung.” You blurted, not thinking about it. Your confession caused his eyes to momentarily widen. “I really do.”

  “I like you, too, Y/N. I like you a lot.” He was stopping his mouth from stretching out into a smile by pressing his lips together and leaning towards you to place a soft kiss on your cheek. As soon as his lips left your cheek, he started to giggle impatiently. “I can’t believe it.”

  “Yeah,” you grinned, half confused, half excited. “Me neither. But I’ll see you later…right?”

  “Of course,” he beamed widely, standing up and gathering his things. Clearly, he couldn’t control his facial expressions anymore. “Call me before you come to visit, okay Y/N?”

  It was a dopey smile that drew you into him a lot more – more than you thought was ever possible, with Soonyoung. The fact that the feelings you were feeling were directed towards him was strange and new, but utterly thrilling.

  I can’t wait to see him again, you thought, genuinely feeling that way.

  “I will.” You smiled back, abruptly feeling lightheaded as you turned off the TV and went back into a lying position on the couch, closing your eyes. I guess I’m still tired and sleepy. “I’ll…I’ll call you later, Soonyoung.”

  He let out a loud groan and suddenly, his arms were under you. “You don’t expect me to leave and let you just sleep out here, do you?”

  Before you knew it, you were off the couch and airborne as he carried you into your room. Giggling, you put your arms around him, feeling his fast heartbeat against you, making you blush. You reached up to kiss him, which he didn’t return since it took him by surprise.

  But to you, it already started to feel natural, as though it was something you were supposed to do and something you should’ve been doing for a long time.

  “One, two,” he counted, still grinning from ear to ear as he placed you down on the bed and began covering you up with the blankets. “Stay warm and sleep well.”

  You hummed, looking up at him with a sheepish smile. He turned to leave, but you stopped him. “Wait. Why don’t you stay the night?”

  “You want me to sleep over?” he hesitated, already standing near the entrance to your bedroom.

  “Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time you do.”

  “I told you…as much as I’d love to stay over, Y/N, I have to go in early tomorrow,” he explained, slowly striding in your direction. “I don’t think it’ll work out tonight.”

  You didn’t want to force him, even though, if you had, it also wouldn’t be the first time. Still, you groaned and rolled your eyes. “Okay, I guess…just…”

  “What?” he chuckled, stroking your cheek. “It’s only a few hours.” He joked.

  “Not that, Soonyoung. It’s just that…I have one key. If you leave and lock the door, taking my key, I’ll be locked up in my apartment.” It wasn’t a lie, but it was definitely the perfect excuse to have him sleep over — or so you thought, at least.

  “Ha-ha, you’re cute.” He shook his head. “You’re forgetting that you already gifted F/N and I extra keys to your new place?”

  Your eyes widened, and then you sighed as the memory hit you in the face. “…I remember.”

  Dammit.

  “Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, all right?” he said, giving you a kiss on the cheek and turning away again.

  You whined, intentionally. “Soonyoung…”

  He rotated back to face you, throwing his hands up in confusion before understanding what you wanted.

  “If I had known you felt so strongly about me…” he teased, leaning down to you once more. “I would’ve planned for this more carefully.”

  “Shut up,” you grumbled, putting your arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer for another kiss. It resulted in him sitting on the bed, trying not to fall over when he was standing.

  I could kiss him for hours…

  “I’m not staying over,” he breathed heavily once he forced himself out of the kiss, pushing his hair back as he sat up. “You can’t make me.” But you both knew that that was a lie.

  “Fine,” you gave in, rolling your eyes. “It was worth a shot.”

  He groaned. “How do you expect me to leave like this?”

  “Hey,” you shrugged. “It’s not my fault.” A giggle escaped your lips, and Soonyoung perceptibly clenched his teeth.

  “I’ll get you tomorrow,” he warned, pointing a finger at you as he stood up and hurried towards the door. “Same time and place, yeah?”

  Nodding, you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. “Yeah, same time and place.”

  Once again, he shook his head, and finally waved a goodbye. “Goodnight, Y/N!”

  “Goodnight.” You smiled, watching him vanish in a flash. “Soonyoung.”

  You hummed to yourself, repeating his name and attaching a cringe-worthy nickname after it, such as ‘gumdrop’ or ‘cupcake’, smiling and laughing yourself to sleep as though he were still in the room.

  And, for the first time in a long time, you felt like you were going to explode from happiness.

  I can’t wait…to see him again.