#I'm sure her husband will love her makeover too

[oneboredfurby]

Bonding with Furbys is so fun

Did my nails w Miss Tea (sleepy pink 2005 Furby) earlier and it was nice having her company

She would look cute with some blush so maybe tomorrow I'll try adding a tad to make her even cuter

She's a coquette girly 💞

She has this cute pearl necklace with a bunch of white bows

She's the least well preserved of my 2005 furbs since her beak has got tons of cracks but she's the most customized with accessories and stuff and I love her to bits <333

Considering doing her nails too but we'll have to see, she'll be my first "customized" furby but she's gonna look awesome

Thanks for reading and take care y'all !! 💞💞💞 Have a nice day/night n drink some water ✨

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Could you possibly write a request about Simon and Soap with Simon's daughter? Like a play date or something? Where the reader (mom) went out for a night out, and the guys are left to keep a little girl entertained? (Like age 5 or so?) It's okay if not. I really enjoy your work! Thanks.

Awe, this is cute! Thanks for this. I put a little twist on it, as I had this idea pop in my head. Hope you enjoy it! Xx

I'll Take the Big Blue One!

Synopsis: Yours and Simon's 5 year old daughter has a play date with her dad and uncle Johnny.

Warnings: mild swearing, fluff, mentions of crying

"Are you sure the two of you will be okay with her?"

"Love, Johnny and I have got this. Go enjoy your night with Kate." Simon kissed your temple, and gave you a loving nudge toward the door. "I love you."

Tonight you and Laswell were going out to get a massage and grab dinner, Simon's way of treating you before his deployment in a few days.

Kaya, your daughter, had also been begging to have a "playdate" with her uncle Johnny, and daddy, so Simon thought this was the perfect opportunity.

You gave your husband a smile, mouthing a 'thank you', and took one last look at your daughter before heading out the door.

~

"I wanna do makeovers, Daddy!" Kaya whined, trying to give her dad the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster.

"Why don't we go outside, bug? It's nice out." Simon tried, as the last thing he wanted to do was play dress up. He was great at a lot of things, but faking enthusiasm for such things was not particularly his strong suit.

"I'd love a makeover , little lass!" Johnny went to scoop the little girl up in his arms, the action causing her to squeal in delight. "Come on, Simon, it'll be fun. If I'm doin it, you gotta do it too."

"C'mon, Daddy! C'mon, c'mon!" Kaya wiggled out of her uncle's arms and sped over to her dad jumping up and down. "Sit with uncle Johnny!"

Simon sighed in defeat, knowing that with both Johnny and his daughter begging him, there was no way he could say no.

He let Kaya drag him over to the couch, sat down beside his friend, and watched as his daughter pulled out a little tote full of child safe makeup, tiaras and sashes.

"Okay so daddy is the purple princess, and uncle Johnny is the pink princess!" Kaya exclaimed as she rummaged through her little makeup set.

Johnny and Simon exchanged glances, and the two's facial expressions couldn't have been more different. Johnny was elated. For some reason, he found this wildly entertaining, while Simon was trying his best to look intrigued.

Kaya walked up to her dad with purple eyeshadow, smeared all over her fingers, and proceeded to rub the product all over Simon's eyelids, doing the best she could to keep it in one spot. She pulled away to inspect her work and giggled softly while giving Simon a kiss on his nose. "Looks good, Papa!"

Johnny had to bite his lip to prevent the laugh that was threatening to escape his lips. To see his lieutenant, a big scary masked man, getting a makeover by a 5 year old, was insanely amusing to the Scot.

"Okay, Uncle Johnny, it's your turn!" Johnny couldn't help the smile that formed as the little girl waddled toward him, her fingers now purple and pink from the eyeshadow residue.

He stayed as still as he could as he felt her little fingers moving all around his eyes, and looked down to see the little girl staring at him in concentration.

"Looking good, Johnny." Simon chuckled as he took a look at his friend, with dark pinkish purple eyeshadow smeared all over his eyelids, reaching up to his eyebrows.

"Not so bad yourself, L.T."

"Okay now tiaras!" Kaya squealed as she ran back to her box, pulling out two, very large, very bejeweled tiaras.

Deciding to just go along with it, Simon swallowed his pride, and exclaimed, "I'll take the big blue one!"

Kaya's eyed lit up at her father's enthusiasm, and she immediately ran to him. Simon crouched down on the floor, so that she could reach the top of his head.

After being at the mercy of a 5 year old for nearly 45 minutes, both Simon and Johnny were completely dolled up.

Simon had purple eyeshadow all over his eyes, bright pink blush with light shimmery purple lip gloss, a big blue diamond plastic tiara with a matching sash- while Johnny had purplish pink eyeshadow, brown blush, a dark red lip gloss, with an emerald green tiara.

"So pretty!" Kaya cooed as she stood back to admire her handiwork.

"Think we should take a picture to remember this moment with?" Johnny looked to Simon with a shit eating grin, only to be met with a death stare. "Glare at me all you want, nobody's gonna take you seriously, looking like that."

"Picture, picture!" Kaya squealed, running to grab Johnny's phone, which was held out to her.

"Bloody hell." Simon muttered under his breath.

~

When Simon was putting his daughter to bed later that night, she tugged on his arm as he sat at the edge of her bed.

"Papa?" She asked.

"What's up love bug?"

"I love you, I'm glad you’re my daddy." She gave him a warm smile and nuzzled herself into the stuffed bear Simon gave her before one of his deployments.

"I love you too, kid." Simon kissed her head softly before turning out her light.

He felt tears pooling in his eyes as he looked back at his little girl, and shook his head slightly to compose himself. It was moments like these that made it so hard for him to leave on deployments.

~

Making his way back downstairs, he found Johnny staring at himself in the powder room mirror.

"Thinking of keeping the new look?" Simon joked, leaning against the door frame.

"I don't know. I think I can pull it off." Johnny turned to him and winked. "She's a good kid you got there."

Simon smiled to himself, nodded his head to Johnny. "Yeah, yeah she is."

"Real question is. How the hell do we get this stuff off?" Soap asked as he tried to wipe away the makeup with his hands.

"I think the missus uses water?" Simon shrugged.

~

"I'm home!" They could hear your voice from the entrance way, as the two of them hurried to try to remove the makeup residue from their faces. They'd been at the kitchen sink for nearly 20 minutes, washing their faces repeatedly. "Boys?"

You walked into the kitchen and were met with a sight that had you nearly doubling over with laughter.

Both men had makeup smeared all over their faces. It was clear they had tried to scrub it off, as red marks littered their skin.

"Well I'll be. Look at my handsome guys." You stifled a giggle with your hand, as you went to the powder room to grab your makeup removing wipes. "Water won't do a darn thing. That stuff is a bitch to get off, let me help."

You walked up to Simon, not hiding the smile that was spreading across your face. He matched your smile and kissed your cheek.

You pushed him back softly as you gently wiped away the makeup on his face. "Err. Some of the eyeshadow may stain a bit. It should come off completely in a few days."

Simon's smile dropped at this, and Soap let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh we are in for it with the boys, aren't we."

"Johnny."

"Yeah, L.T?"

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll bloody kill you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: I literally couldn't get the idea out of my head of soap and Ghost letting a little girl give them a makeover😭😭😭😭😭

[myfairstarlight]

An Ode to Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3

[dramioneasks]

Hi, do you have some ff recommendations which are exclusive on Fanfiction.net and not crossposted on AO3?

my tbr-list is filled with AO3 stories but I'm sure there are some gems on FF.net too :)

Thanks!

On the one hand, I'm like: I came back at the perfect time to answer this question, because FFN got me into fanfiction. It's my first love. But on the other hand, I'm almost exclusively an AO3 reader now (FFN got too spammy).

Your best bet is to honestly just google something you're interested in and see if it's cross-posted. There was a big push a few years ago for authors to move or at least cross-post their fanfiction. And then there's a lot of fans who have moved older stuff over when it looks like the author is no longer active. So googling is the only way to tell.

But I'm happy to share my personal Dramione FFN favorites list, and I'm 100% sure some of our followers will post theirs in the comments.

-Shirlyn

The Request by redhead414 - M, 39 chapters - Astoria was never a fan of Hermione Granger, but pretty soon, she would be gone, and Draco was going to need all the help he could get. Rated M for future chapters.

The Fine Line Between Love and Hate by Short-circuit-Soulmate - M, 30 chapters - The Silver Marauders are the most popular group in school, consisting of Ron, Harry, Blaise and Draco. Hermione is the most unpopular girl in school. Blaise wants to discover the motivation behind Draco's constant bullying of Hermione. AU. Violence. COMPLETE!

Vibrations by Craft Rose - M, 6 chapters - After three years of a mundane, sexless existence and far too much wine, our favourite brunette happens upon the magic equivalent of a sex line. There, an intriguing, deliciously devilish caller manages to pique her interest. It's all fun and anonymous

Wrong Life by camnz - M, 25 chapters - Hermione wakes up in the wrong bed, with the wrong face, and with a husband that hates her.

Crimson with a Silver Lining by Lady Cailan - M, 78 chapters - It is six years since the fall of the Ministry to Voldemort. Those other than purebloods are deemed less than human. When Ginny's daughter ends up in grave danger, Hermione sells herself to the Death Eaters to save her life. Draco/Hermione. Not fluffy.

Burbage High by Charlotte Bird - M, 27 chapters (abandoned) - 14 Years post war, Hermione has become Head of the progressive, yet failing Burbage High. Handling right wing politics is easy, but working out why Malfoy is insisting his son start there in September is not. 10 years spent in Azkaban and 2 years isolated in the muggle world may have changed Draco, but surely not that much? Is something more sinister going on?

Forget Me by Emara88 - M, 26 chapters - The war ended over two years ago, but Hermione still feels the echoes of strange memories from that time, as though something is missing or has been taken from her. When she sees Draco Malfoy at a Ministry ball and collapses, falling into a coma, the truth about their past together is revealed.

Once More with Feeling by Kyonomiko - M, 20 chapters - Sometimes taking a second look can give you a new perspective on someone. Hermione has difficulty analyzing people once she has made up her mind, especially in regards to herself. Circumstances what they are, she might not have a choice but to try again. Dramione EWE. Granger Enchanted Awards 2018 Winner

Who Needs Friends by camnz - M, 47 chapters - Friends prove difficult as Hermione and Blaise start dating, especially his friends. Malfoy is particularly offended by Hermione's presence on the scene.

Simply Irresistible by bookworm1993 - M, 30 chapters - Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible."

Pride, Image, and Reputation by Fanofbooks.Harry Potter - M, 28 chapters - They hate each other. Plain and simple. But he's Draco Malfoy, and no girl escapes his charm. Even if it is stupidly smart Granger. But what happens when progress is actually made...from both ends, and a certain little bet between friends gets in the way?

Of Kings and Queens by galfoy - M, 26 chapters - Hermione has a bad habit. Draco has a big problem. The universe has one heck of a plan.

Little, Fragile Toys by Bex-chan - M, oneshot - "That incident, their first kiss, always reminded her of a car crash; people often described how they could recall every moment before and every moment after, but the impact itself was lost or hazy, like when you find a new bruise and can't remember where it came from. And Hermione could genuinely remember every detail that followed the impact. Every detail." Dramione. One-shot.

It's All Uncharted by redhead414 - M, 38 chapters - "Are you ready?" she asked. Draco brushed the back of his hand against her forehead before tracing it down her cheek. "I was ready the moment you came back into my life, Granger. Are you ready?" "With you," she whispered, "I'm ready for anything."

It's Just Me by jehszs - M, 32 chapters - After a night of mistaken identity Hermione finds herself unable to stay away from the mystery man from the darkness. How can she stop herself from falling for him when he's doing everything in his power to make her his again? M. HG/DM. Warning: some non-consensual sexual themes

Heir Brained by diagonally - M, 42 chapters (abandoned) - The war witnessed Draco managing his way into the Order's fold & the trio's cramped boundaries. Years later, they are quasi-friends. Does Hermione want more? Want to bet your copy of 'Hogwarts, a History? Flashbacks/action/post HBP

Utterly Despicable by camnz - M, 24 chapters - The death of both Voldemort and Harry Potter let the pureblood elite build the world they wanted. One that leaves Hermione in a vulnerable state, which Draco Malfoy is prepared to take full advantage of.

The Bracelet by AkashaTheKitty - M, 103 chapters - Hermione has everything she could possibly want... Except a life. People are getting sick of her superior attitude, especially Draco Malfoy, who schemes to get her down, once and for all. And then there's the thing with The Bracelet... 7th year AR. COMPLETE SINCE 2009 XD

Forbidden by Darkest Dawn - M, 17 chapters - He hated her...but he would have her. After all: Forbidden fruit always tasted much sweeter. -Being revised-

Sweet Caroline by gingercat0319 - M, 43 chapters - He was rich, single and disgustingly handsome. Learn how a four-year-old will turn his world up-side down. Sequel now posted - My Darling Caroline.

The Passion Of Hate by XorderlyXchaosXnXconfusionX - M, 17 chapters - It's a known fact to the entire population of Hogwarts that Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy hate each other with a passion. But what happens when that passion turns the hate to lust? Winner for He Had It Coming Dramione awards

Valentine Encounter by Kyra4 - T, 24 chapters - READ ME! Draco and Hermione are Head Boy & Girl, but do NOT share a common room and see as little of each other as possible til a fateful encounter on Valentine's night leads to a gradual, reluctant romance. Starts 7th year goes postHogwarts. NOW COMPLETE

Never is a Promise by LoPotter - M, 45 chapters - HrD fic, they're head girl and boy and having an interesting year. June 19! I finally updated! It's been a year, sorry. But here's Chapter 45. Oh nelly :

[majorlysimsitive]

Townie Makover | The Bailey-Moons of Del Sol Valley

Octavia Moon, 39

Occupation: B-List Celebrity Songwriter

Aspiration: Bestselling Songwriter

Traits: Family-Oriented, Good, Creative, Muser, Music Lover

Thorne Bailey, 40

Occupation: B-List Recording Artist

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Traits: Self-Assured, Active, Music Lover, Dastardly

I'm not sure if you would consider what I did to Thorne a "makeover"; I more so just cleaned him up a bit.

Personal Save File Lore: Octavia and Thorne Bailey were married too young, but neither one was ever willing to admit it. They were each other's polar opposites and yet always came back to each other through their intense love of music. Ever since they began dating during their junior and senior years respectively, Thorne had been spinning tales of them becoming the music industry's power couple. Of course, Thorne didn't inform her that he would be getting most of the power, but Octavia didn't mind shadowing her husband. Though she was passionate about songwriting and wanted people to love her music, she wasn't keen on the attention her recognition would entail. Besides, her biggest achievement was becoming a mother. Though it took awhile for Octavia and Thorne to start a family, mostly because Thorne kept talking her out of it (how would a child fit into his hectic schedule?), Orange Bailey-Moon was the sweetest song Octavia had ever made.

When Thorne's cheating scandal broke, as well as the audio leak of him admitting his wife was actually the pen behind his songs, Octavia started rightfully taking up more space within their business relationship and their marriage. The public's sympathy and new-found support empowered her and propelled her journey towards her individuality. Instead of shying away from incoming opportunities, especially when it came to working with other artists, she embraced the direction her life had taken. Though she decided to stay in her marriage-much to the chagrin of her fans-Octavia took her maiden name back. She's still thriving in motherhood, but Octavia is conflicted by how apathetic she feels about her marriage taking a backseat. It was supposed to be her and Thorne against the world, but Octavia's starting to think the world isn't the enemy anymore and never was.

Citations: Fandom (2018, November 18). Octavia Moon. The Sims Wiki. Retrieved July 20, 2023, from https://sims.fandom.com/wiki/Octavia_Moon Fandom (2018, November 18). Thorne Bailey. The Sims Wiki. Retrieved July 20, 2023, from https://sims.fandom.com/wiki/Thorne_Bailey

[kagi123]

S1e03: The episode that inspired the infamous makeover --like betty looked really good in my opinion maybe the hair was a bit much but she was so confident I loved that for her 🥹💜💜💜. Is it safe to theorize that the late nights they spent working ignited something between them. More so with daniel though as he felt he could share his dads trauma with betty like who does that with their assistance, which is why when he said "they smile a little brigheter when they enter the room" I thought he meant betty my delulu sorry--he was just talking about his dads favouritism I realise.

Maybe I don't get it why would marc wanting to make betty a screenshot on his phone not make me assume he finds her attractive like I don't understand how am I supposed to percieve it as mean. Especially with her beautiful smile

--not daniels finest episode, sees betty and is like she should call for a table at the back at the restuarant they were going to😑😑. Still pissed but when daniel looks at betty when they are presenting infront of his dad and his dad says he doesn't know what his doing it's like looking at betty give him confidence that if she believes in this then why shouldn't I stand up to my dad. Daniel sure does have his low moments and good moments I'll say that. Hated Whilemina for how she treated betty here (but her moment with her dad😓😓) and he did try to to defend betty and checked up on her in the female bathroom which could is the bare minimum but no boss does the things daniel has done on behalf of betty as his assitant or i could be wrong. Although again he has his moments because he didn't try to persaude betty to go to the dinner she planned and wouldn't have happened without her. Let's her be replaced by amanda (couldn't he say to vincent betty wasn't feeling well but I understand also not trying to upstage a client) it's very iffy. But then he upstages the whole date, also mind you he was literally drinking as if he was depressed of her not being there And that's why he proudly fetches her ,has her up close to him and everything like I'm not ashamed of her and really shows how they were growing together. He apologizes for everything when they get to the office and just is so vunerable to her about Whilemina and her dad and like he said at the date the he got caught up in some stupid image. Also he was so work husband "i give you bettys word" this men is insane he let betty run that company basically. Like the way he lights up his world is crazy his reaction to bettys shut up (he loved that girl ) and the saying cojones with that smirks sir ur feelings are showing.

S1e04: Boo walter👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽 his so annoying like he some how didn't want betty to prosper in life. But on the plus side justin and marc friendship starts in this episode --and the start of the trio that is betty marc and amanda so cute they had each others backs. Daniel and betty having a secret together 🥹🥹. I love the parrlells of Whilemina and betty and feym her trying to honour her Memory even though she wasn't the greatest boss to her I think that's wholesome she suggested that.

He's INSANE sir she is ur Assitance ,like what are u talking about. Betty coming all lovey dovey with "heres ur dinner must be starving " like something about her doing her job has so much love ---the undertones. "You worker hard today" in a soft tone. And everything after that has me kicking and giggling. The vunerable moments between between them is just so wholesome so the musical box mystery is addressed and one thing a white cishet men will do is cause trauma. I love their eye contact "just be careful what you say" . I know this is the building of their friendship but their chemistry is just way to good for me to ever see them that way and this early too ,like if anything the friendship they were building was between betty and marc/Whilemina. The eye contact 😭😭 like not him repeating what he said early as if to reassure her to make sure she understands that she is important to him that she could do no wrong in his eyes , she'd burn down some magazine and he'd try and find a way to defend her. This level of care he had for her is crazy like whaaa.

[thatringboy]

Putting together the timeline of your fic is such a fun activity between chapters because as of chapter nine it's:

Boothill leaves Penacony with the Express

Boothill lands on Edo Star and kicks ass with Blade of all people

With the power of Elio, Blade takes Boothill to the Luofu and enters him in the Wardance so that in return, Boothill delivers a letter to Jingliu. The letter in question was not Blade's idea as Firefly has to remind him to write it, meaning that the letter is strictly from the Stellaron Hunters

Boothill lands on the Luofu and Borisin are fucking shit up

now we know that canonically, Boothill fights in the Wardance and comes in second place to Luka and Yanqing. Where he gets the time to go find Jingliu's transport ship, idk but I'm assuming it happens at some point because later, Sunday notes that Kafka and Blade seem upset during the Pier Point Massacre and that the Aeons are doing weird shit during it. I didn't know Boothill was tight with the Hunters like that but it's a small universe and Boothill's good at making friends

We also confirm that Boothill was at Pier Point during the massacre and this was BEFORE he got his facial makeover because Dan Heng is a nerd and finds video footage of Boothill's pasty ass attacking Pier Point. Boothill also commented during his time on Edo Star that he's still in contact with Aventurine AND that Sunday knew the Pier Point Massacre mostly involved several Stonehearts fighting each other. But Kafka said that the Massacre was "a battle between Emanators", not just between Paths. Aventurine and Boothill are notably NOT Emanators, so was Diamond involved in the fight? What other Emanators were there? Dan Heng mentioned that the Express was at Pier Point and that they reconnected with Boothill there, but he doesn't comment on whether Boothill's got his new face or not. I'll assume that Boothill's face was still its usual paleness then

So at some point, Boothill

Boothill gets to Pier Point, either with Argenti's help or Ratio's since Ratio and Boothill were on good terms by the end of Lone Star

Boothill meets up with the Nameless before the Stonehearts start blowing things up

Boothill gets his revenge on Oswaldo, completing his Hunt

Boothill LOSES the blessings of The Hunt and loses his confidence

Boothill remembers he made a promise to Robin and tracks her down, becoming her bodyguard and boyfriend

Now, somewhere between points 3 and 5, Boothill does something to his face to now be tan and growing a soul patch. He also cuts his hair and loses his hat and turns Robin's old neck jewelry into an earring because he's down bad. We also know that whatever actually happened, Boothill told Robin that he changed his face on Lushaka and that Dan Heng personally did the cosmetic surgery. Robin has talked to Dan Heng about it and Dan Heng confirmed privately with Himeko that this was false, but we don't know if Dan Heng confirmed this with Robin

However, Robin DID bring up Lushaka the morning after she had dinner with Dan Heng and Himeko, but we don't see what she's thinking or how she feels during the moment. What we do know for sure is that Boothill is deeply in love with Robin and would do anything for her. We also know that his body is actively deteriorating - Boothill's own word during chapter 8's sort-of-sex scene - and Boothill isn't as proactive about taking care of himself as Robin is. Robin is also desperately down bad for her cyborg husband

So the theory is: Boothill's face reverted back to what it was supposed to look like if he was a regular human once he stopped being powered by The Hunt, but he's too embarrassed to admit this for some reason. Is it that when he first reunited with Robin, he was too self conscious to say the truth and ever since has been doubling down on his lie? Idk, I'm hooked on this fanfic, it's so good!

Someone's been paying attention! Chapter 10's gonna challenge your theory a little once I finish it but you're not as far off as you'd think. There's just a LOT more going on

Thank you for reading!!

[lonely-lost-soul]

Under the Floorboards Part: X

(C!Technoblade x Reader)

First Part: Pt. I

Fanart for this chapter made by the wonderful @theoneandonlyyeti please show them love!

Content Warning: Itty Bitty Spice Ahead! Please be wary I will let you know when it stops and starts so you can skip!

~~~

You never thought you would want kids of your own, adopting already children was completely fine but when it came to having your own you weren't too sure. However, you do know what it might be like to have a baby, that is to say, your injured husband was basically an overgrown baby. Ultimately it was your fault, the man kept pulling his stitches trying to do anything, which made both you and Ranboo frustrated as hell. Technoblade just couldn't sit still and it was driving you mad, you'd scold him and much like a child he'd pout and tell you no. After the fourth time pulling the stitches while he was trying to tame a polar bear, you had bound him to the bed. Not physically, of course, but if you saw him out of bed you'd usher him back in with whatever bribes that were needed to convince. Technoblade was understandably not happy with this development, but the brides always seemed to work, if they didn't you'd pull out the big guns. Appealing to the voices always seemed to work without fail, whether it be only referring to them or ignoring him completely they always got him to shut up and sit down. At the end of the third week, he seemed to be so used to your constant attention and nurse-like tenderness that whenever you weren't fully tending to him he had a tantrum. You tried to be patient, especially because it was partially your fault he was injured in the first place, but you couldn't help but get annoyed at his clinginess.

"Techno. Baby, you have to let go of me." His arms were wrapped securely around your waist, you both were sitting on a small cot by the fire. You allowed him to get out of bed sometimes okay, you weren't a monster; so long as he wasn't out fighting monsters and blowing up nations. He let out a deep purr and buried his head in your chest,

"No, I don't think I will," He mused a smirk evident in his voice although you couldn't see his face. You tsked softly, running your fingers through his hair,

"Tech?"

"Hm."

"Let go of me or I will take a pair of scissors to your hair." His hands immediately released their hold on you, he pulled away from your warm body, a pout etched across his features. "Thank you, my love," You kissed his forehead and he relaxed just slightly. "You think you can make it to the kitchen on your own for some lunch?" You gave a tilt to your head and Technoblade smiled softly,

"I'll head there in a few minutes, I wanna try and clean up on my own first, I feel gross." Technoblade sat up with a wince his bandages needed cleaning, he gave his neck a crack to shake away any residual pain. He stood up letting the blankets slide down his body; his hair had been perpetually tied up in a messy bun; his stubble was also slightly overgrown. He needed a makeover desperately, the voices were very much in agreement when he caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror. Steve, the polar bear Techno adopted, grunted as he felt Technoblade move. Technoblade watched you coo at the bear and kissed the top of his fuzzy head, for someone who was so mad he adopted him. You sure acted like the bear was your new best friend, especially considering you let the bear sleep in the bed with the both of you.

"Alright, any lunch requests?"

"Anything you desire," He gently rubbed his chin against your cheek and your nose scrunched up at the feeling.

"You're prickly."

"Good or bad?"

"Well, you're hot with the stubble. So I guess a little beard is a good thing," You scratched under his chin and he purred loudly.

'We are never shaving again are we in agreement on that? Yes, obviously. Anything for her.'

"Now shoo," You ushered him towards the bathroom he slid inside with a dopey smile. He heard you call Steve over to you making sure he was just as fed like any other person in your band of misfits. Once you were officially in the kitchen was when Technoblade got a good look at himself for the first time in weeks. He was right in assuming his facial hair definitely needed at least a trim, his hair probably could use one as well now that he thought about it. He undid the bun and let his hair fall over his shoulders, at this point, it reached his mid-back. It was a bit tangled and didn't feel as soft as it usually did, he was sick of it. Technoblade picked up his trusty bathroom sword and held it in his hands, he turned the sharp blade over in his hands a few times in contemplation. Technoblade moved and placed it on the edge of the sink, he moved his hair to the front of his chest, taking the sword in another hand and slicing through his pink locks. They fluttered to the floor and his eyes drifted back over to the mirror, his hair now came down just below his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his freshly cut hair, ruffling it up just a little, he liked the new look. Technoblade tossed his loose shirt on the floor and gently removed his bandages, he didn't even bother looking at his wound, it was just another scar to add to the hundreds littering his body. However, this one he was okay acquiring, he got it protecting you, the women he loved, from Dream. He smiled softly as the smell of food wafted through the house from downstairs.

He'd never truly get used to your domesticity.

Technoblade's pants were next as he turned on the shower, he slid into the water once it warmed up to the appropriate temperature. He let the water cascade down his face, it stung his fresh wound but it felt good to finally feel clean and fresh. The shower went much faster than usual now that he didn't have all that hair to wash. After the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist, it hung low on his hips as he shook out his wet hair much like a dog. He decided to stick a little braid in his hair just so he could add a little flair, a knock sounded on the door and he met his own eyes in the mirror. The door opened with a soft creak and you were standing in the doorway with a smile. He flushed when you let out a low whistle,

"Didn't mean to disturb you, hot stuff." You winked and he gave you a sharp look to cover up his embarrassment. "What's that for? We literally have seen one another naked like a million times," You snickered your smile turning fond as you drank in his body.

"Hey. My eyes are up here Princess," He mused grabbing your chin to make you look in his eyes. Now it was your turn to flush and he smirked devilishly, "I'm glad you like what you see." You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair playing with the freshly cut ends,

"You cut your hair." You murmured still mesmerized by Technoblade's red eyes, he hummed softly staring at your beautiful features. "It looks amazing, I love it, and I love you," You spoke tenderly hands running down his chest.

"I love you too Princess," Technoblade murmured trying to ignore the roaring voices in the back of his mind. They were pleading with him to kiss her, mark her up and go feral on his wife. He took in a shaky breath and you frowned, "the voices," he let out a deep chuckle, "they love you."

SPICE

"I love them too. So listen to them and kiss me already." You yanked him close using the top of his towel, he made an embarrassing noise when his towel began to slip, he felt like praying when it stayed up by some grace of God. Your lips crashed together and he let out a breathy sigh relaxing into your blistering kiss, his hands landed on your hips and he squeezed them tightly. Technoblade nipped at your mouth, his tusks brushing against your upper lip, and you made a soft sound in the back of your throat when you felt them make contact. It made Techno and the voices preen in delight as he pushed you against the wall of your bathroom, his big hands sliding up the bottom of your shirt. He felt your hands tug at the hair by his scalp and he let out a deep groan,

'Neck. Bite her neck. Leave a mark, leave many! We don't care, do something. Please Technoblade listen to us!'

Technoblade growled under his breath as he attacked your neck, you let your head fall back against the wall. You let out a little sound of your own, and he purred deeply pleased by your reactivity.

'She'd make such a good mother.'

SPICE OVER

Technoblade's eyes snapped open and he pulled away from your neck, you let out a deep whine of protest. You reached out to him, hands falling on the back of his neck, chest heaving deeply. That thought intermixed with the wishes of the voices, you a mother? Him a father? The thought shook him to the very core no matter how much his body liked the thought.

"Bubs...?" You asked drearily, eyes blinking as you came down from your mini-high, "You okay?"

"Fine." Technoblade cleared his throat, his ears red and he refused to meet his wife's eyes, you frowned in concern.

"Too much?"

"Sorry," Technoblade murmured sheepishly and you shook your head, pinching the warrior's cheek.

"Don't apologize for that, I'm a big girl." You laughed softly kissing the tip of his nose, "I wanted to tell you lunch was ready before you rudely interrupted me."

"Eh? Rudely?" He huffed as you moved away from the wall, a teasing grin on your lips, he watched you walk away with a swing of your hips and he groaned in distress. Technoblade gathered himself together and got changed, as he came down the ladder to see you wearing a little apron and had lunch set up on the counter. His heart stopped in his chest, you were just too cute and domestic, "meat and potatoes?" He piped up sniffing the air as he sat down at the table you nodded happily.

"I know it's your favorite. I thought you deserved it after everything," You hummed softly cupping his cheek before sitting down across from him. Technoblade raised a hard eyebrow and clicked his tongue,

"It was nothing, just a flesh wound." Technoblade waved you off digging into his meal, "I meant it when I said I'd kill for you."

"I know you would, and believe me that is so hot. Even so, I'd be lost without you, so I just want to thank you." You bit your lip fiddling with the lace of your apron, "I'll never be able to repay you."

Technoblade put his fork down and huffed, "Stop talking nonsense Princess, got that? You're my wife now you don't need to repay me for anything." You looked at your lap and smiled shyly, "I love you."

"I love you more."

He scoffed with a fond eye roll but didn't argue with you, instead choosing to focus on his meal. Technoblade looked up at you as you finished up your food, with a soft hum he tilted his head to the side, "Princess?"

"What's up bubs?"

"We should do some trading in the Nether, before you say no, it's an easy enough adventure where I won't get hurt. We just wear some gold, and we'll be in and out." He watched your eyebrow twitch, "I will go with or without you. Just so you know." You flicked some potato at him which he scoffed at with an eye roll,

"Fine. We can go, but no fighting anything got that," You pointed a stern finger at him, Technoblade scoffed but agreed nonetheless. You both got adorned in your finest gold and Technoblade couldn't help but grab your neck, tilting your head upwards to swallow your lips with a kiss. You giggled softly as you both walked towards the Nether, his tail was wrapped around your waist as he glared at anything with a pulse. When you wore gold, his piglin protectiveness won over his usual aloof self. He couldn't stop glancing at the gold wedding band on your hand as you entered the portal, the piglin's heads already were paying attention to the newcomers. Techno let out a low growl underneath his breath and at least some of them seemed to get the picture, Techno split his gold bricks with you and the two of you parted. Oddly enough, Technoblade was having difficulty finding anyone to trade with him, they'd huff and tell him to get lost in piglin and that rubbed him the wrong way. He only ended up getting a few pearls and some soul sand, Technoblade moved to find his wife only to see you surrounded by a horde of his brethren. His jaw tensed as he saw you flush as a piglin desperately handed you some netherite, you thanked them softly and their squeals increased happily. They were complimenting you in piglin not that you would understand them, gushing about how pretty you were and how good you looked dripping in gold. Technoblade and the voices weren't amused. His brow furrowed as the voices demanded blood, he tried to march over but he was practically shoved out of the way when they saw him trying to get closer to you. Technoblade snarled at their advancements, his hand twitching at his sword just itching to grab at it and spill their blood, but he couldn't risk hurting you in the process.

Couldn't they smell him all over you? Did they just not care that you were his?

Before the Blade could do anything too rash you picked up your head and locked eyes with him, a beaming smile coming across your features.

"Technoblade!" You called throwing your hand in the air and waving it frantically, "Come here! They're being super kind!" The piglin's all turned their heads to face Technoblade, out of reflex his shifted into his pig form and walked over to you. This time, his brethren cleared a path for him to get through, He pulled you against his chest protectively, he buried his nose in your neck glaring at anyone who dared come close to his wife. Much to Techno's relief they all looked unhappy with the development and walked away from you, to which you pouted at, "You scared them away you big grump."

"Good I don't like them touching what's mine," he spoke calmly which caused you to flush red,

"We were just trading Tech," You spoke shyly motioning to all the valuables you collected. He nodded against your neck about to say something else but he growled deep in his throat instead and tightened his grip on your waist. A baby piglin, with a shining red eye, was holding up a gold ingot towards your person, you cooed fondly. The baby seemed unperturbed by Technoblade's looming appearance and attitude, "Hi baby! Do you want to trade?" The piglin nodded rapidly puffing out their little cheeks, your heart melted in your chest. "Tech let me go," You whined, "I wanna trade with the baby."

"No." He huffed, grumbling in his throat, "Don't want you to." The baby glared at him, stomping his little hoof, holding out the ingot higher. "Get out of here before I punt you, kid," He bared his teeth. The brave kid once more wasn't fazed instead he glared right back at Technoblade making a small snarl of his own. He had his own pair of tusks that were just starting to appear on his bottom lip and you gave a little squeal and Technoblade glared at you, "Don't coo at it!"

"He's so cute though!" You argued, finally squirming out of his hold, you knelt in front of the excited piglin, he handed you the gold ingot excitedly, you examined it carefully. Technoblade huffed at you entertaining the young piglin, you pocketed the gold and handed the piglin a poppy. His single eye widened considerably as he took the flower from your hands, you figured you'd give him something from the overworld. He looked shell shocked as he oinked happily wrapping you in a little hug, "Aw you're so welcome buddy!" You giggled fondly brushing the tufts of fur on his head, you plucked the poppy from his hands and placed it behind his ear. The piglin touched the flower lightly before scurrying down a nearby cobblestone pathway, "Bye little guy!" You called out a sad smile appearing on your face, Technoblade narrowed his eyes. He knew that look, you had the look when you'd look at the other children on the server.

"Don't even think about it."

"Think about what?" You blinked looking up at him, "do you mean- oh Jesus Technoblade I'm not going to kidnap a child."

"Or adopt it! It could be an orphan. We know how I feel about those," He pointed a finger in your direction, you rolled your eyes dramatically.

"Babe we're both orphans-"

"Sorry is that a Ghast? I can't hear you gotta fight it to protect you."

"You piece of shit." You scoffed as Technoblade picked up his bag from his last location and walked off, in the direction of said Ghast. "No fighting Ghasts! You promised!" You chased after him once you came to that realization, "Technoblade!"

Eventually, you caught up with your husband and scolded him for his recklessness, he only snickered at your mother henning. As the both of you stepped back through the portal Technoblade shifted back to his regular form, he took your hand and led you back to your little cabin. Normally Technoblade would use his trident trick to get home, but you were with him and wanted to walk by your side, considering you didn't have a trident...yet. He noticed his mailbox had footprints in front of the box, his brows furrowed, who was in his domain.

"Head inside Princess, I'll join you in a minute." Technoblade kissed your cheek softly, you gave a little nod. As Technoblade walked over to the mailbox and opened it, inside was a deep scarlet letter with a seal on the front. His nose scrunched up in distaste, he grabbed a small knife from his pocket and tore the letter open. The letter inside the envelope was a lighter shade of red, the note was from BadBoyHalo saying he had some business he'd like to discuss with himself and his wife. That immediately didn't sit right with Techno, it set off a ton of red alarms in his head. What did BadBoyHalo need to talk to you about? Technoblade kissed his teeth, he supposed this meeting would be alright so long as he was with you and could protect you and your mind from whatever the demon man was planning. What stirred him out of his thoughts was a slight movement in his bag, his entire body stilled and he slipped his bag off, tossing it into the snow. His bag squealed in distress and he pulled his sword off his body and aimed it at the bag. Technoblade must've been so distracted by you, and the letter in the mailbox, he must've missed the little movements in his bag. He gritted his teeth and snarled deeply, the first thing he noticed was bright pink piglin ears, popping out of his bag, then a bright red poppy. It was the baby piglin who had taken a liking to you earlier, his sword lowered a little bit as his eyes looked up and locked with Technoblades.

It reminded him of how Phil found Technoblade when he was a kid.

His Piglin was a bit rusty, especially his piglin for young kids but he tried his best to communicate with the young boy as he sat upon his knees. He was shivering a little not used to the drastic temperature change.

"What are you doing here kid?" He asked in rough piglin, which to anyone listening would just sound like grunts and squeals. The boy marveled at Techno and that he could speak his language it seemed,

"I want to be with the nice lady."

Technoblade furrowed his brows, a frown etching across his features, "You can't stay here." The kid didn't like that as he glared up at the taller hybrid, "You have a family in the Nether?"

"No." He huffed out with a rapid shake of his head, Technoblade inwardly cursed before picking up the Piglin by the scruff of his neck. He let out a few grunts of protest trying to attack Technoblade's hand as he dragged him into your shared home.

"(Y/n)! Get in here!" He shouted a small clip evident in his voice showing his frustration in his tone. You slid down the ladder in one fell swoop, Steve was by your side growling ferociously at the intruder in Technoblade's hands.

Good to know he could trust Steve to protect you.

"What's wrong? Where's the fire?" You already asked, ready for a fight, Technoblade almost swooned, almost. "Um...bubs is that a child?"

"It's not a child! It's the child!" He held him up higher to show off the poppy in his fur behind his ear, "Look what you did now it's attached to you!"

"Don't be mean!" You scolded your lover taking the kid from his hand, he automatically buried his head in the side of your neck. "Hey, buddy, what's going on huh?"

"He said he didn't have a family. He's attached to you now, therefore making him your problem." He watched you side-eyed him, giving him a very clear dirty look, "He doesn't have a name either." You ran your fingers through the top of the young boy's fur, rolling your lip between your bottom teeth in thought.

"Let's call him Aether." You looked over at Technoblade a teasing smile appearing on your face, "we'll build him a little secret room to keep him safe."

"Aether...Like the god of light and the sky? Isn't that ironic- wait...HEH, what do you mean his own room?" Technoblade blinked rapidly as you slid down the ladder into the basement, "Princess, get back here this conversation is not over!" He chased after you, and with a huff, Steve began to follow the both of you, too curious to just ignore the baby in your arms.

"We can re-purpose Tommy's old room! Fix it up after someone blew it up." You gushed as the piglin squealed in your arms approvingly, "we'll decorate it just how you like it, I'll even paint the walls."

"He's NOT our son (Y/N)-"

"Maybe not our son but he's MY son."

Why did that make Technoblade feel a million times worse? Is this how Phil's wife felt when she was alive when Phil tried to take him in from the Nether.

"I'm not leaving him to fend for himself, especially because he sought us out," You whispered tenderly, "It doesn't sit right with me Tech...please." Technoblade watched you look up at him through big sad eyes, "you don't have to be a parental figure if you don't want to, I won't force that role on you. But I want to take care of Aether, least till he's old enough to officially fend for himself."

Technoblade chose not to correct you that he was already capable of fighting his own battles.

"Fine." He relented with a loud sigh, "just don't get him killed. I don't want to deal with you being upset over a dumb orphan."

"Not dumb." You huffed nudging him in the side, "but thank you." He felt your lips brush the corner of his mouth and he visibly relaxed. "I promise I won't bother you with him either, he'll be my responsibility." You assured Aether grunted in your hold almost like he was in agreement with that plan. Technoblade glared at the child and huffed,

"He better not be," Technoblade said as if to promise himself that he would not get attached to the piglin in your arms that looked so much like your son it filled him with warmth. Steam exited his nose in frustration, and you gave him a gentle pat on the cheek, "I'll talk to Phil about getting him some warmer clothes, but that doesn't mean I like him." The smile on your face was almost worth discussing this child with Phil, but only almost, you gently placed Aether on a spare bed by Bob.

"For now," You ruffled his pink fur "You'll stay down here. If you need anything just call me okay? We'll get you a walkie-talkie you can decorate with some stickers." Technoblade groaned from behind you, he had to gather materials for another radio, for a baby. Aether nodded excitedly and snuggled against the soft covers of the bed, you kissed the top of his eye socket. Steve nuzzled Aether's hand and he gently rubbed the top of the polar bear's head, Steve seemed to dub the Piglin acceptable and rested his face on the edge of his bed. "Good boy Steve, watch out for my boy." You headed back up the ladder Technoblade followed behind you wearily, Phil was going to make fun of him for this, the old man was going to call him soft.

Marriage has made him soft and a shameful part of him liked that feeling of domesticity. He swallowed thickly glancing over at your bright smile, you turned towards him and figured the letter in his pocket could wait a few more days.

"I'm going to send a letter to Phil, so he can grab clothes for the orphan on his way back." Technoblade sighed softly rubbing the bridge of his nose, which caused the smile to slip off of your face.

'Apologize to her right now. It's a kid how hard can it really be? You can handle it, he makes her happy. But it's an orphan and it smells. Yeah, like the Nether and smoke. So does Technoblade.'

He huffed at the voices mentally flipping them off, before lifting his hand and placing it on the top of your head. He watched you look up at him through long lashes and (e/c) eyes, "I guess it's not that big of a deal you nerd. So don't get all frowny at me, okay? We'll keep the kid safe." The smile reappeared and he let out a sigh of relief he didn't realize he was holding in,

"You do care," you cooed fondly and his heart squeezed in his chest. "You're gonna be Aether's dad just you wait."

"Yeah, maybe when pigs fly."

"Tech-"

"Don't say anything," his face turned red, "you know what I meant." You giggled and kissed his cheek, he walked over to the window and sent a crow out for Phil. He jolted feeling your hands on his back running up and down, you slid in front of him.

"Thank you, for all you do for me." Your soft lips traveled across his cheek and onto his lips, "Let me repay you." He felt the tips of your fingers grab at his chin, his eyes dropped closed, tail wrapping around your waist to pull you flush.

"Oh?"

"Hmhm," You purred out as you pressed your foreheads together, you both screamed however when a loud slam sounded against the door. It was thrown open moments after Phil was standing in the doorway, wings ruffled and crows screaming behind him.

"What the FUCK do you mean you have a child! (Y/n) was pregnant?! Since when?! What the fuck!"

"Miscommunication!" Technoblade shouted flush coming across his face, "The crows twisted my words! Last time I rely on them to relay a message!" You burst into hysterical laughter falling against Technoblade's chest,

"This is not funny!" Both Phil and Technoblade said simultaneously, both equally confused and flustered. Phil got here so fast it was ridiculous and judging by the bag on his back he came fully prepared with clothing and all.

"I adopted a piglin from the Nether, he hid in my stuff, you thought I was pregnant?" You were cackling holding your stomach, "Phil what the fuck!"

"What?" He sputtered flabbergasted, "it's not like you both aren't fucking! You smell like him constantly, you can't blame me for jumping to conclusions."

"You saw me yesterday! You have a son!"

"Shut the fuck up! I panicked!" Phil threw the bag at you and you caught it in your arms, still snickering. Meanwhile, Technoblade was still recovering from Phil's scare, "I just...got some of Wilbur's old clothes. Some old toys as well, whatever I could find."

"Thank you, grandpa," You teased to which he turned slightly red, Technoblade glared in your direction.

"He's not grandpa."

"I can be," Phil added raising his finger in the air, Technoblade gaped at him,

"Don't encourage her!" You laughed tossing the bag in Technoblade's general direction, his fast reflexes allowed him to catch the bag. "What are you expecting me to do with this?"

"Go give it to him," He watched you smirk and wanted to wrap his hands around your neck. "You both need to bond,"

"You said earlier I didn't have to!"

"I lied." You bared your teeth in a big smile, chills went down his spine staring at your face, "You have to at least get along with Aether. Plus, Phil and I need to talk."

"We do?"

"We do."

"I'm being lied to." Technoblade growled, "I can't believe this betrayal. Let's all lie to Technoblade, I'm such a victim, having to tend to an orphan my wife adopted." You flipped Technoblade off as he slid down the ladder into the basement. Aether was still asleep on the bed when he came down, the bag across his shoulder felt heavy as nervousness seeped into his skin.

He literally killed people and blew up an entire nation, why was this child making him nervous.

'Throw the bag at it. Have it fend for itself. Don't do that (Y/n) will be upset with you! So, not my problem. It will be our problem if Technoblade gets divorced! DIVORCED?! SHE'D NEVER! E. But she could, do we really want to deal with that. That's a lot of work to clean up.'

The bed shifted, stirring Technoblade out of his racing thoughts, he swallowed thickly before taking a deep breath.

"Hey, kid, wake up." Technoblade gruffly scoffed, tossing the bag on the bed and kissing his teeth. The piglin made a distressed noise jolting up in the bed and pulling the covers over his little body. "Calm down it's just me, Technoblade," He spoke back in Piglin to the child who seemed to ease up a little bit. "(Y/n) and Phil got you some stuff so open the bag and check so I can leave."

Aether eyed him wearily as he opened the soft yellow bag, he began to pull the items out with slight awe. Despite his tough exterior, Technoblade was oddly curious as he walked a bit closer to look inside the bag. Aether pulled out a soft yellow and black striped sweater and rubbed it against his cheeks, it seemed to be amazed at the softness of the material. Technoblade couldn't help but laugh a little, once again he thought of the first time he was introduced to the same material. A pair of overalls was next, they were covered in colorful patches and Aether's eyes lit up excitedly. He watched him scramble back into the bag as a few more things were pulled out, like a coloring book, a few colorful pens, an old busted walkie-talkie, and a small stuffed crow. Phil just had to shove that in there, he couldn't believe that the old man's first thought when he thought (y/n) was having a baby was to find a little stuffed crow, biased little shit.

"Thank you," Aether spoke softly in Piglin towards Technoblade, he blinked a little rapidly.

"Thank your grandpa Phil," Technoblade grunted before coughing, "No not grandpa-"

"Grandpa!" He beamed brightly, his little tail wagging rapidly behind him, Technoblade rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Just go get changed kid," He grumbled, "So you can show (Y/n)." Aether slid off the bed, sweater, and clothes in hand and stumbled into a nearby bathroom. He came out a few moments later clad in his new outfit, in the meantime, Technoblade sat on the edge of his bed. Aether did a little twirl placing his hands on his hips, Techno held out a weak thumbs up and he seemed satisfied with that answer. Aether flopped back on the bed next to Technoblade and leaned against the pillows, an awkward silence stretched between the both of them. "Anyway...I guess I'll head back upstairs." Technoblade raised his hand and motioned to the ladder, his body tensed and it took all his willpower not to kick the child across the room as his instincts screamed at him to do. He blinked a few times and noticed Aether grabbed at his hands in order to get a closer look at the gold adorning his fingers. Aether began to run his hands over his gold rings,

ah, that made more sense.

"You like my rings?" Technoblade questioned watching him nod eagerly as he wiggled his fingers, "yeah I like 'em too. Got some for my Princess too, that's (Y/n)."

"Princess?"

"Hmhm, she looks beautiful in them," Technoblade hummed softly, an adoring look appearing on his face. Aether looked like he was holding onto every word, "We treat (Y/n) with respect she deserves understand? I see you messing with her. I mess with you back, got that kid?" Aether nodded,

"Same to you."

Technoblade barked out a small laugh and ruffled the fluff on top of Aether's head, "Off to a good start kid." Aether smiled shyly before going back to examining his jewelry, Technoblade shifted to get a little more comfortable as Aether settled in his lap. He continued to examine and twirl Technoblade's rings around until he glanced up and caught sight of his golden crown on top of his head. He desperately reached up for it and Technoblad leaned away from his grubby little hands, "Sorry, the crowns off-limits kids." Aether huffed puffing out his cheeks and Technoblade grumbled reluctantly placing the crown on his head, it was far too big for his little skull as it slipped past his forehead. He made some happy sounds and readjusted the crown, he leaned back against Technoblade relishing in not only the gold but also the attention.

Technoblade huffed out a laugh, maybe having a kid around wouldn't be so bad after all.

He looked back down at Aether and noticed the kid was asleep on his chest, his body locked up completely frozen in terror. Now, what was he going to do? He was trapped underneath a sleeping child, he awkwardly tried to maneuver Aether off himself but the kid had a strong grip on his chest. Technoblade cursed under his breath and figured he might as well get comfortable if he was trapped, he felt warm beneath the piglin and eventually drifted off to light sleep.

Philza and you quietly descended the ladder down into the basement, Technoblade hadn't come back up and the both of you were growing suspicious. You had to cover your mouth to stop an excited squeal from leaving your mouth, both your boys were cuddling on the bed, Technoblade's crown was slipping off Aether's head. You looked excitedly over at Phil whose face was soft and fond,

"Go on, take a picture." Phil glanced over at you motioning to the boys in bed before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a disposable camera.

"Thanks, Phil," You whispered snapping a quick picture of the bed, the click of the camera caused Technoblade's ears to twitch. The photograph came spitting out of the camera and you shook it waiting for it to develop, you were so hanging this picture up where everyone could see it. From across the room Technoblade's eyes cracked open, Phil nudged you forward,

"I'll head out, go spend time with your family." He ruffled the top of your head and flew up the ladder swiftly,

"Hm...was that Phil?" Technoblade grumbled under his breath, voice still deep with the hint of sleep.

"Yeah bubs," You whispered tenderly walking over to the edge of the bed, "he figured it was time to head out." You brushed strands of pink hair out of his eyes and he leaned into your touch, "make some room big guy." With an annoyed grumble, Technoblade moved over so you could lay down beside him and Aether, you gently brushed your thumb across the fur on the baby's cheeks. Just like your big warrior husband he snuggled against your hand. "So, I take it he's grown on you?"

"Shut up and go to sleep." Technoblade grumbled reaching over Aether to rest his big hand on your head, "hm tired." He closed his eyes and ignored your giggles, you pulled the blankets over the three of you and you drifted off into a deep sleep.

Meanwhile, underneath L'manburg the egg began to breathe and pulsate with life, it yearned to have the couple once again in the palm of its hand just like it did decades prior. Sir Billiam and Lady (Y/n) were their names if it remembered correctly, they'd follow in the eggs wishes again, that it knew for certain. Meeting them again was going to be fun.

~~~

@iamsuchasimp @victory-is-here @pastelmoonwitche @ignat1usaquar1us @v10dw4lk3r

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Lily (from "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", what else?) and Lenin and maybe some other people? Watch "Heathers". Reactions? Or what they get transported there? Sorry, it's just that I'm in this Heathers-obsession phase and since I love your work so much (and the fact that Trotsky is kinda sorta like JD) I've been wondering about a crossover like that. I honestly have no idea what your answer to this will entail.

I’ve been musing on this one for a bit now but I suppose it’s time to dig in and answer.

First, I’m not usually a fan of the “X characters watch Y thing” so we’re going to avoid that. Also, to Wizard Lenin, it’d undoubtedly be yet another one of Lily’s weird 80′s movies that she loves so much and forces him to watch. It’s less gory than Predator, but dammit Lily, high school isn’t like this! 

Getting transported there is a similarly weird story. It’s such a muggle setting that it really doesn’t mesh well with the “Sisyphus” cast. Why would Lily and Wizard Lenin be stuck in this high school in Ohio? Would they even do anything besides go “That JD kid sure is weird” and “Wow, the death count here is higher than Hogwarts!”? Point being, I can’t imagine they’d get entangled in the true plot of “Heathers” and at best would be providing riff track commentary on this crazy high school. 

So, instead, let’s go the good old fusion route. Let’s make the world of “Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus” just a bit more like “Heathers” and see how it pans out.

Because “Heathers” is all about the destruction of society from within, we’re axing Voldemort. Sorry, Tom, you got stuck in a magical mirror, eaten by bears, or something after 1943 and are going to be Sir Not Appearing in this Universe. As a result, there’s no Voldemort, but the deep societal issues that Tom took advantage of very much remain and are flourishing. 

In this world, Lily is still a god, but is not immediately recognized as such by being the girl who lived. Instead, she’s just a strange, dangerously overpowered, nuisance that nobody likes. And her home life is trash.

I imagine in the world without Voldemort, Death Eaters, and a second war Lily and James’ marriage quickly crumbles. This is mainly due to the stress of marriage but also due to having a gifted, ridiculously intelligent, and creepy child. Within a few years, Lily Evans has the audacity to do what is never done: she divorces her pureblood lord husband and tries to vie for child custody. She loses, of course, as she’s a muggle born woman, and is basically banished from ever seeing her kid again.

James never really gets over this, Ellie looking so much like Lily Evans certainly not helping matters, and over the years grows very cold to her. She’s not a son so is useless to inherit, she’s nothing like him, and she’s just an all around disappointment. James very quickly gets remarried for political purposes, marrying a far less scandelous pureblood witch from pick your prestigious family, and they have a son meaning that Lily is no longer heir.

Lily thus attends Hogwarts as essentially the half-blood Potter. She’s for all intents and purposes a bastard child, one barely acknowledged by her father, and is also weird. As a result I imagine she’s bullied relentlessly much in the manner Luna is. For years.

I imagine Luna Lovegood is her only friend, as the pair have bonded over constantly having their stuff destroyed and being locked out of their dormitories. 

Enter Lily’s seventh year and thus the plot.

The outside world is looming and Lily effectively has no future. Despite being the daughter of Lord Potter, she’s in a similar position that Tom Riddle was. She won’t be hired into the Ministry or basically any position thanks to her dubious heritage as well as the fact that no one likes her.

Mostly, she just wants out. She wants out of the country where everyone knows exactly who she is and where she came from. Her best hope for this is employment with the goblins but she needs recommendations from a professor. Her best bet is Slughorn, but while he’s always been awed of her ability after seven years of Lily the charm has worn off. Lily has never received an invitation to the Slug Club.

Lily realizes that to get out she must become popular so someone can vouch for her to Slughorn. Not to mention her life might become slightly, slightly, less miserable. So, Lily approaches the Heathers. Much like in the film/musical, Lily offers her services to them for the fee of making nice, pretending to like her, and getting her an in with Slughorn.

This spirals out of control as the Heathers instead do the makeover and make Lily suddenly cool. She’s suddenly invited to parties, people talk to her, it’s a whole new world.

Around this time, Lily in the room of requirement happens to stumble across the diary (nevermind how he gets there, we’ll pretend Tom just never managed to smuggle him out of the castle). Tom has been trapped in there, dying, and Lily obliviously informs him that all his ambitions and sacrifices amounted to nothing. There was no dark lord after Grindelwald, she’s never heard of a Tom Riddle, and everything she describes makes it sound like nothing has changed.

Tom Riddle inexplicably vanished off the face of the earth leaving only the diary behind.

Naturally, Tom is very pissed about this, and sets about plotting how he can return, trying to get Lily to open up by asking her for help returning him to his body. Lily does him one better and just returns him to his body without any sacrifice, casually remarking that she’s always been like this as long as she can remember, fully accepting Tom to yell “SHE’S A WITCH! BURN HER!” to her face as everyone else does.

Tom, however, is floored and everything he’s ever known to be true is thrown out the window. He decides to make Lily his new pet project. 

Unfortunately for him, by this point Lily has a Slug Club to attend, only it goes horribly wrong. The Heathers have purposefully set about humiliating Luna, Lily’s only friend, and Lily has to very publicly break ties with them even though it means sacrificing her only real chance of leaving the country with gainful employment. Worse, the Heathers promise wrath the likes of which Lily has never seen before.

Lily, devastated and despairing, goes back to Tom and confesses all the shitiness of her extremely shitty life and how she doesn’t even know what the Heathers will do to her now. Tom finds this a little odd, as Lily has quickly proven herself the most powerful person on the planet, but he’s willing to play along. More to the point, Lily and Tom’s relationship goes from 0 to 100 as he is not only the first guy to show interest in her but he’s very very interested and very very hot. When Lily decides to beg Alpha Heather for forgiveness, Tom notes that he’ll come with, he’s better with people than she is.

Tom, having hit a low point of nihilist rage thanks to Voldemort having amounted to nothing, poisons Alpha Heather and dutifully covers for Lily by writing her suicide note. This works. There is an ecstasy of joyous grief throughout the school as staff and students alike confess how they never knew the true Heather. Lily is astounded, Tom is ecstatic.

Lily tries to return to life as normal, goes back to hanging out with Luna, but also has to introduce Tom to the school. Tom suggests she mind wipes everyone, that makes Lily uncomfortable, so she instead confesses what she believes is the truth in that Tom was trapped in an enchanted object. Dumbledore nearly has a stroke, but since Tom Riddle never became Voldemort, it’s more that this is a solution to an unsolved mystery and the castle is glad Tom isn’t actually dead. They’d thought he got hit by one of those muggle bombs during WWIII or whatever it was the muggles had going on. 

HA HA HA HA, but no, Tom says in response.

In the meantime Tom gets to witness Lily’s weird and strained relationship with her father, his friends, and her younger half-brother. Tom points out that Lily seeking out gainful employment is unnecessary. Lily doesn’t have to be a part of society, like all these worthless people around her, she’s so powerful that she can do whatever she likes however she likes it. She can simply leave the country, she could become a dark lord even, there’s nothing stopping her. Lily’s never thought of it like that before, to become a true part of society, to be accepted on some level by that society, has always just seemed like the obvious path to her. What else would she do?

Due to this, Lily and Tom’s relationship continues to grow as they’re really the first people to see each other as they are. Naturally, this is when shit hits the fan. Thanks to Tom, Lily’s invited to another Slug Club with him (Tom can still become minister even if he was trapped in a book for fifty years! Slughorn says). Lily gets hit on and nearly sexually assaulted by some of the boys there, Lily gets out, but the next day rumor circulates around the school that Lily was in a threesome with them.

Tom Riddle sets up a ridiculous scheme in which he fakes their murder suicide where they confess to being homosexual. Lily is increasingly horrified. The school, once again, is in an ecstasy of joyful grief over the loss of these two, beautiful, oppressed, gay souls. Lily realizes that Tom is A Bad Dude (TM) and tries to confront him. He easily confesses he cares nothing about these people and has decided he wants to watch society burn. These are the people who thought he had died in the Blitz and did nothing. They are people who cannot and will not change. They’re the absentee fathers who dote on far less powerful, pureblood, sons. Tom has officially, completely, given up on the wizarding world and now he will destroy it as quickly and horrifically as he can. Lily, not belonging to society, can pour the kerosene on with him.

This is getting a little too gnarly for Lily and she dumps Tom.

Unfortunately, he quickly becomes exceedingly popular thanks to his angelic face, his natural charm and charisma, and his understanding of people. He passes around a petition for suicide and bullying awareness that everybody and their brother signs. What they’re really signing is pages from the diary which, much like Death Note, promises him both their magic and their life force.

Tom confronts Lily and admits he’s going to murder everybody, an entire generation of wizards and witches gone in an instant, AND LILY CAN BE HIS DARK QUEEN! Lily and Tom get into a fight, Tom accidentally murders the shit out of her and is devestated, only of course for Lily to wake up later after he’s left because she was unwittingly immortal this whole time.

Rising from the dead, Lily hunts Tom down before he can blow up the school, and sucks him back into the diary. Upon graduation Lily makes up with Luna, still has no prospects and plans to go and be homeless in India, has hesitantly gotten in contact with Lily Evans, basically has no contact left with her father, and has a boyfriend diary named Tom who might be let out in fifty years if he promises not to blow up a school. 

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 08.04.21 lb

why the fuck is vansh glaring at riddhima for dadi's dumb accusations???? does he not remember that siya's whole makeover came as a reaction after riddhima's "death" which means, she wasn't in the fucking house when it happened????? i swear to god, every raisinghania has horseshit for brains.

angre's back with a new injury and ishani's reacting like anyone would if their husband came back from work bleeding every single day. she's spitting nothing but facts and is so fucking right to hate vansh.

yessssssssssss ishani is here to take vansh ki class, and i fucking love it. vansh isn't even smirking this time around, coz ishani is really fucking angry and will literally snap his neck like a toothpick if he tries.

phewwwwwwwwww, ishani really going off today and I AM HERE FOR IT.

ofc he's doing that bullshit macho thing of punching shit in his anger and putting the blame on riddhima for all of it. sis idk why you're still with this man. you've obviously grown a brain now, why don't you see him for the abusive loser that he is????/

lmaooooooooooooooooo he's like "WHY WON'T YOU JUST TELL ME?!?!?!? don't you trust me riddhima????" NO BRO. NO. THE SIMPLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IS FUCKING NO. YOU'RE THE LEAST TRUSTWORTHY PERSON IN THIS SHOW. I'D TRUST A RATTLESNAKE BEFORE I'D TRUST YOUR MANIPULATIVE PSYCHO ASS.

suchhhhhh bad dubbing in this scene for rrahul.

anyway riddhima's like "nahi bataana mujhe", lol. i love it.

he stormed off in anger and she's lamenting not being able to tell him the secret until the black box is handed over to vyom. ugh. so lame.

cut to next morning, he woke up and riddhima's nowhere to be seen.

he goes and bangs on ishani's door and he's like "ishani plsssss darwaza kholo.......... main vansh." LOL OK???? BECAUSE WHO ELSE WOULD WE MISTAKE YOU FOR???

angre ready to leap outta bed but lmaoooooooo the look ishani gave him scared him back into lying down. anyway the moment she turns around he jumps up anyway.

ishani's like can you pls leave my husband alone?!?!?!?!?!?! which is well within her rights, coz vansh bhai really be doing bhangra tapdance all over the boundaries one should have as an employer, let alone brother-in-law.

lol vansh's first comment to angre is "ishani is really angry at me for you. i like that she loves you a lot." i'm sure this means more to angre than ishani's confession of love even.

anyway, he got the deets of that random jhopda from angre and is gonna go chaapa maarofy there. angre's like i'll come with, and ishani tears vansh a new one about respecting angre as the damaad of the house. phewwwwwwwww, i love it so much.

idhar bechare not-rrahul se covid ke time mein bhi kaam karwaaya jaa raha hai. baksh do bechaare ko yaar. rrahul se toh nahi karwaaya tha jab usko hua tha, aur woh lead hai. isko 2 hafte ke liye chutti nahi de sakte? kapde bhi nahi pehnne dete.

anyway riddhima is pissed at vyom for acting overfamiliar with his "partner"/"baby doll" nonsense, and is like jaane kaunse manhoos ghadi mein iske saath deal kar liya maine............ anyway, she gotta do black box shit fastttttt.

anyway, he's given her some apt or safehouse or something.

lollipop ladki and her incredibly toned legs (god, i'd kill for them!!!) are following vansh around, saying i gotta talk to youuuu. vansh is like behen, mere se meri ek bandi nahi sambhal rahi, i don't have time or energy for any sidechicks, pls baksh de. jaake aryan ko tang kar tu.

she's bc poori baat toh sun le. goes to show him the tattoo, but he gets a call and leaves. you know what, she shouldn't tell him it's the code to opening that stupid box. let him come beg. and then she can extort 2500 crore outta him.

idhar chained-up kabir is trying to attack riddhima who's like

can't say i'm not masssssssively enjoying this. i love kabir, i do, but he deserves this for all the haraamipannaa that he did to her and ruined her fucking life.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she shot at KABIR while in the red leather catsuit, not vansh. a pity. shoulda shot both when she had the fucking chance, and lived a free life.

ugh she's doing all this coz he tried to kill vansh? not just for her own shits and giggles? how fucking disappointing.

i love helly's unbothered acting tho. too good.

riddhima's promising to kill him badeeee itmenaaan se.

she's like v 1.0 of me was a basic bitch who just wanted to marry you and live happily ever after. but you planned differently, so............... thanks for teaching me all the ropes of being an absolute bastard.

kabir warning that yeh jo abhi mera haal hai, vansh gonna do it to you, or worse. pftttttttttttt. tell us something we don't already know, loser.

aaaand now he's calling her a fool. she's not the one in chains rn, my man. matlab hadh hai, rassi jal gayi par bal nahi gaya.

anyway blah blah vansh will find out about your deal, he'll kill us both, blah blah blah. whatevs.

riddhima tells guard fellow ki vansh found out about the place and kabir needs to move. guard veryyyyy wisely removes all the chains on kabir, who then gives dhoka by shoving them out the room and slamming the door shut. wonderful.

aryan/ishani bitching about vansh bhai and plotting to bring him downnnnn so that his tyranny will finally end. good. VERY GOOD. get yours, bitchy kanji aankhon waale sibs. main tumhare saath hoon.

vansh reached the jhopdaaaaaaaaaaa. lord i hope riddhima has become nau do gyaraah with kabir by now.

god all these low angle shots of rrahul...................... UNF, man; fucking UNF. 🥵🥵🥵

phew thank god, place is fucken empty.

has something scrawled on the wall tho.

an address......... IN BLOOD. but........... how the fuck would kabir know where riddhima's moving him to and have the time to write it out on the wall???

bwahahahahahahahahahaha and they're bringing kabir to the exact same set, saaaaaame room. man i know budget kam hua hoga OTT ki wajaah se, but there's a million rooms on this set, koi bhi doosra choose kar lete.

anyway, this is the safehouse vyom gave riddhima. good on her for asking for and getting the resources she needs to carry out her nefariousness.

ohhhhhhhhhh, address kabirrrrr ne nahi, RIDDHIMA ne likha tha, galat waala.

loving how she's playing alllllllll these suckers. i know she's not gonna stay winning for long, so imma just enjoy it for the time. *sigh*

precap: vansh's dumb ass finally figured out address fake tha, while riddhima finally gets her hands on the black box. and now he's following her around as she goes to make the drop. BORING!

[dex-xe]

ahhhhh I'm LOVING these little fics, they're wonderful!! if you're still taking requests and are up for it, maybe "you're just a softie" with fanny and mary? :o

Mary & Kitty Fluff #10: “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

Fanny & Mary Fluff #37: “You’re just a softie.”

(I’m not thrilled with how this one turnedout but I think it’s soft and cute anyway. I have no idea what a girly sleepover consists of,, I have never been to one so someone please enlighten me XD This was posted on ao3 first btw,, as are all my fics - usually about 2/3 days before they’re up on here)

Prompt list

Inbox

After months of begging, Kitty’s fabled 8th of March arrived. Alison had actually decided to bring the date forward by a considerable few moths, feeling guilty about denying Kitty what she had been unable to do for over 200 years: her beloved sleepover.

Alison gathered as many spare pillows and blankets as she could find around the house and piled them onto Kitty’s bedroom floor. She’d had Mike attach fairy lights across the ceiling, creating a low canopy of glowing lights across the room.

Before inviting Kitty, Mary, and even Fanny into the room for her planned girly evening, Alison had had to sit the rambunctious boys down (of which she included Mike) and tell them under no circumstances to enter Kitty’s room. Robin had tried multiple times to join in, Pat had insisted that the next sleepover be for everyone, Julian had even called discrimination - a concept he was familiar with but it was new and novel to be on the receiving end. But after placing ‘keep out or else no TV’ signs on the door, Alison felt confident they wouldn’t interrupt.

“Oh, this is so exciting!” Kitty exclaimed, throwing herself down on the bed beside Mary, smiling brightly at Alison. “I’ve never been to a proper sleepover before! Have you, Alison?”

“When I was at school, sure,” Alison plonked herself down on the floor, wrapping a duvet around her to keep her warm under her pyjamas. “Never one with a bunch of dead people though, at least not to my knowledge.”

“What precisely do these nights consist of, Alison?” Fanny asked, perching on the chair beside Kitty’s desk.

“Well, you eat way too many snacks, which I guess isn’t possible. And give makeovers, again not exactly doable. But we can play games and talk about boys, right Kitty?”

“Yes please!” Kitty squealed. “We can give makeovers!”

“We can?” Alison questioned.

“Can I do your hair, Mary? I’m rather good at it, my sister always asked me to do hers. She would never do mine though, it’s a shame she never quite had the time.”

“Alright,” Mary said nervously, glancing at Alison.

Kitty squeaked and reached into her breast pocket to draw out a small tin compact with a tiny fold out comb, an item she had been incredibly pleased to have followed her into the afterlife.

“Won’t it go back to normal soon?” Alison asked, pouring herself a small glass of lemonade.

“Oh I would imagine so, but I am rather good,” Kitty began to carefully brush knots out of Mary’s messy hair.

“So, a game!” Alison said, smiling to herself. “Snog, marry, avoid! The rules are: you get given three guys, literally any men but I suppose we should stick to the men of Button House, and you have to choose one to snog, one to marry, and one to avoid - as in you never get to see them again.”

“What be a snog?” Mary asked, flinching away as Kitty hit a knot in her scraggly hair.

“Stop moving and let me braid your hair!” Kitty gently pulled her back.

“A snog is like a really passionate kiss,” Alison chuckled, watching Fanny pull a face.

“This game is abhorrent!” She scoffed. “I’ll play no part in it!”

“We shan’t tell anyone what you say!” Kitty said with a high-pitched giggle. “I promise! Oh please, Lady Button, we won’t tell if you decide to kiss Julian or someone!”

“If you’re going to scoff at the games, you’ll have to leave. This is Kitty’s sleepover really, don’t spoil it!”

“No, I shan’t spoil it,” she pursed her lips and glared at Alison. “But I reserve my right to not ‘snog’, as you so horrifically put it, anyone.”

“If it will stop you complaining,” Alison said.

“Then I shall ask first, yes?” Fanny contemplated for a moment before turning to Mary perched on the edge of the grandma-duvet bed opposite her. “Mary: you must choose between Robin, and Julian. Yes, and Michael!”

Alison spluttered on her lemonade, “can we not include my husband in the game?”

“Well, you did say ‘any man’, did you not?” Fanny asked.

“I’d snog yer husband!” Mary exclaimed, drawing raucous giggles from Kitty behind her who collapsed back onto the bed, her head fazing through the pillows.

“I regret every decision that has brought me to this moment,” Alison groaned, still smirking into her glass.

“And I marry Robin, cause he be funny and make a good husband,” Mary nodded as if she was saying something incredibly wise and philosophical.

“And then avoid Julian? I can get on board with that,” Alison grinned.

“I woul’ rather he fall mysteriously from a window than marry him,” Mary smiled.

“That’s a fair decision,” Alison said.

“Reasonable choice,” Fanny agreed.

“It be you’re turn, Kitty,” Mary leant back to look Kitty in the eyes. “Pat, yeah? Humphrey, or Thomas?”

Kitty brushed through Mary’s dark hair contemplating for a minute before she came to a predictably Kitty conclusion: “this game is so cruel! I don’t want to avoid anyone, can I marry them all please?!” She cried.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny chastised.

“Good to see you’re getting into the game!” Alison said.

“Polygamy, even in game form, is always unacceptable!” Fanny said.

“I would marry Pat, he seems like a good husband,” Kitty said. The others hummed in agreement, the stories they had all heard of Pat’s life certainly gave off that picture. “And then I would do the... the kiss with Thomas!” Kitty giggled her way through her sentence, but quickly sobered up when reality hit. “Oh no! Oh gosh, then I must avoid Humphrey! No, I can’t leave Humphrey!”

“It’s not real, Kitty,” Alison decided to reassure her rather than laugh. “None of us would ever want to leave Humphrey.” Kitty nodded slowly, dropping the comb she was using to her side and beginning to twist Mary’s dark locks between her fingers. “You have to choose people for me now!”

Kitty stopped to think: “Okay! The Captain, Pat, and Thomas.”

“Modern men for you Alison,” Fanny nodded.

“I’m not sure I’m really the Captain’s type! Don’t reckon he’s ever even looked twice at me!” Alison laughed. Fanny glared at Alison, pressurising her into not going any further with that idea but both Mary and Kitty looked confused at her. “Never mind, so I would definitely marry Pat, I feel like he’d get on my tits less than the others!”

“How dare you talk of Patrick like that? Abhorrent language!” Fanny cried.

“It’s a phrase! It means get on your nerves! Christ, I’d never- I don’t even want to think about Pat- he’s my friend!” Kitty and Mary screeched with laughter as Alison’s cheeks turned more crimson by the second as she buried herself further into the duvet heap. “No more thinking about Pat, thank you! I’d snog Thomas cause I reckon it would literally make his life complete, and then leave the Captain to court... his type.”

“Now, Alison, the Captain is a good man and shouldn’t be written off. He would make a virtuous husband and deserves enjoyment he was denied in life,” Fanny objected.

“Oh I don’t doubt that,” Alison muttered, barely above a whisper with a sneaky smirk plastering her face. “But I am beginning to see how your marriage went so poorly!”

“What?!” Fanny screeched.

“Look!” Kitty said, manhandling Mary slightly roughly to turn her around to show her hair. “I think this is the best I’ve ever done! Look how wonderful this is, Alison!”

Alison jumped up off the floor to inspect Kitty’s hard work: “woah, that is pretty good! Very neat, Kitty, I wish you could do mine!”

“Oh, I wish that too, Alison!”

“Okay, final round!” Alison threw herself back down onto her duvet. “Fanny: Captain - seeing as you have such affection for him, Humphrey, or-“ Alison paused, contemplating who Fanny would hate the most. “Or Julian!” She finished triumphantly.

“Avoid, Julian!” Fanny responded without missing a beat. “And I would not participate in your ‘snog’ with anyone.”

“What, so you’d marry both Humphrey and the Captain?” Alison teased, remembering the disgust that had overrun Fanny when discussing bigamy. She took a small sip of her lemonade and watched as horror spread across Fanny’s face.

“Absolutely not!” Fanny cried.

“So, who will you marry?” Mary questioned.

“Humphrey is lovely, although it might be a little unusual to have a headless husband,” Kitty commented. “But the Captain is also very nice when he wants to be, even if he can be a tiny bit controlling. Occasionally.”

“Well, after my George I think Humphrey would make a welcome break. I am not in need of controlling, thank you!” Fanny nodded wisely. “Humphrey, I believe, was greatly unhappy in his own marriage as well. We spoke at the wedding and he gave me some... rather interesting advice. A thoroughly decent fellow, I believe.”

“You’re just a softie!” Mary commented, looking to Kitty for approval who giggled softly still fiddling with Mary’s braids which were coming untwisted as they were unsecured.

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to get with Julian?” The other three all turned to Alison, who was lying, legs-crossed on the floor smirking up at Fanny. “Well, he’s certainly got the moves to ‘get to know you’ as you said.”

Mary and Kitty collapsed into giggles, clutching at each other from their position on the bed and doubling over with laughter. Fanny’s face crumpled into disgust, before a tiny, hidden smile spread across her face.

Alison continued to tease, digging into a couple of details as what Julian might get up to, causing even more laughter including from Fanny who couldn’t quite maintain the stoic, stony expression as Alison talked.

***

“What are they saying?”

“Shut up, Julian, so I can hear!” The Captain snapped. He was leaning out of the TV room door trying to catch wind of the discussion taking place only a few doors down. Robin also had his head popping through the door, below the Captain also listening intently. They had relocated from the common room to be closer to the secret rendezvous they had been banned from.

“Aw man!” Mike cried. “Fourth loss of the night!” He threw the Xbox controller down onto the sofa beside him and rested his head back, frustrated at his poor performance.

“Bad luck, mate,” Pat said from the chair beside him. He’d taken up the role of Mike’s cheerleader, having convinced himself that he’d be a rather good gamer if he’d been able to play in life. His night of imagining he was playing kept being interrupted by the others creating plans to listen in to Alison. He turned to face the Captain, Robin, and Julian at the door to see the Captain straining around the doorframe. “Guys, stop trying to eavesdrop. It’s a girls night!”

“Hush, Patrick!” The Captain said. “I think I heard your name a moment ago.”

Pat jumped up and sped to the door, finally taking interest: “what do you reckon they’re talking about?”

The house erupted with life as uncontrollable laughter floated down the hallway, pulling silence across the TV room. Mike stood behind where the ghosts were focussed the laughter, listening to only to his wife’s giggles.

“Sleepover with some ghosts, huh?” He mumbled. “This house is weird, man!”

“Mmhm,” Pat hummed.

“I agree,” the Captain said.

“Is strange place,” Robin agreed.

Mike flicked off the TV and walked straight through the men, causing them to double over in nausea.

“Weird place,” he muttered.

[darth-tella]

The Prettiest One of All

Just quick little Tentoo/Rose ficlet inspired by Georgia's Daddy!David post on Instagram.

(AO3 link to be posted later.)

The Prettiest One of All

Rose had dug through her makeup bag and all of her purses, but she still couldn't find her favourite lippie.  True, she could use another shade but she couldn't help but feel a bit put out. She was resigning herself to use another's one when she heard a distinct giggling coming from the lounge.  Seems like her three year old had gotten herself up from her nap.

She poked her head around the corner, and quickly had to clamp her hand over her mouth so reign in her laughter.  She pulled her phone out of her pocket and opened the camera app and crept as quietly as she could into the lounge.

It seemed like the Doctor also decided to take a nap.  He was dead to the world sitting in one of their overstuffed armchairs.  Their daughter, Donna Jacqueline, had Rose's lipstick in her hand and was applying it liberally to her husband's lips.  His hair was also full of DJ's little plastic barrettes and not a small amount of glitter.

DJ noticed her mother's presence and beamed up at her, having fully inherited her father's smile.

“Daddy's pretty.”  she giggled.

“He sure is.”  Rose agreed taking photos from every angle she could.  Oh this stuff was gold. “But can Mummy look pretty too?”  She asked, holding her hand out. DJ carefully capped the lipstick and obediently placed it in her palm.

The Doctor stirred, and blinked his eyes open.  A smile crept over his face, which looked absolutely ridiculous given the amount of lipstick that was on it.

“Hello, my beautiful ladies.”

Rose couldn't contain her laughter anymore.  He looked up at her in confusion, and she gestured toward a mirror.  He stood up scooping DJ up in the process and walked over to the mirror.  He blinked at his reflection, then preened in the mirror.

“Well, I suppose I'm the prettiest one of all.” He laughed, hugging DJ tight and shooting Rose a wink.  She didn't believe she could fall in love with him anymore than she already did, but seeing him beaming away and looking so daft after his makeover, she just couldn't help it.

[eisenvulcanstein]

The script doesn't always show how an actor chooses to interpret a scene. In Thor 1, the scene where Loki taunts Thor over being reformed by love is written as a stereotypical villain scene, with yelling and creepy laughter. Tom played it completely differently, and his interpretation can't be found in the script for Thor 1. For an example of gay subtext added through an actor's performance, look at Stephen Boyd as Messala in Ben-Hur (1959). He played Messala as being gay and in love with his childhood best friend. He even managed to convey the idea that when they were youths they were lovers, and that he wanted them to be together again, solely from his tone and eye contact while they were reminiscing. The director told Boyd to portray Messala like that. As far as I know it wasn't written down.

In the scene from Ragnarok that you referenced above there's considerably more than "a truly uncomfortable silence" going on. What the script doesn't say is:

GM bats his eyes at Loki.

Loki double-takes, then quickly checks Thor's reaction.

Thor looks between GM and Loki with an expression of increasing distaste and incredulity.

Maybe my interpretation is wrong, but to me that looked like:

GM flirts.

Loki thinks "Ugh, not now. Oh shit, did Thor notice?"

Thor thinks "Wait. Why is...? Oh no. Gross. NO. BROTHER WHY."

I'm not sure how else that scene can be interpreted. My husband even thought Loki and GM were having sex based on that scene, and he's not even vaguely a shipper.

That's not even the scene that convinced me that Something Was Definitely Up with Loki and GM. I reserved judgement until I had more to go on. The scene that really set the notion in stone for me is the one where Loki tries to leave the arena and GM stands way too close to him, and says "Hey, where are you going?" while crowding him back towards the viewing area. That was basically textbook "gross 80s fratboy about to try something with the ingenue". Or maybe the more mature version, "pervy elderly billionaire about to try something with the ingenue who is only dating him out of desperation". I didn't see any evidence that Loki genuinely reciprocated, but GM did appear to show a degree of sexual entitlement towards him.

Added to those two scenes we have what Tom said. In an interview he said that his personal headcanon is that Loki's blue and yellow outfit was from when the Grandmaster took Loki shopping "Pretty Woman"-style. Not "Princess Diaries"-style, like a princess getting a makeover from a queen. Not "What Women Want"-style, like a daughter being indulged by a father. The foremost expert on MCU Loki said that he was like a hooker getting dolled up by her doting john.

The subtext played out on screen regardless of whether it was written down. The actor himself compared Loki's situation to Pretty Woman. It appears to be canon.

(Before anyone says "it's just subtext!" please consider that subtext is how we get most of our info on people irl. When you see random strangers walking around you notice the subtle, unspoken hints that tell you that those two are friends, and those two are a couple, and those two are friends but the one in the yellow shirt wishes it was more. Real life doesn't spell everything out for us, so don't invalidate it when you see the same thing from movies.)

So I downloaded the script for Ragnarok, because I was curious about the screenwriter’s intentions regarding the scene between Loki and the GM. There was not a single hint of anything in there anywhere about flirting, or sex, or romantic interest between Loki and the GM whatsoever. The words “uncomfortable silence” are used to describe their exchange and that is it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m okay with the idea of this ship existing. I think it’s a fun idea, in theory, and probably has fueled lots of wonderful fanfiction. I just wish people would stop saying it was canon or treating it like it was specifically the intention of the filmmakers to portray Loki and the GM as having had a sexual relationship. I think what we actually saw was Jeff Goldblum being his usual, flamboyant self and hamming it up like he does for every role. Another actor would probably have yielded completely different results. Then again, there are people who will slash just about anything, no matter how ridiculous or OOC, so who knows?

If you don’t agree with my POV on these characters, please don’t reblog. Thank you.