#I'm sorry I love Ernest but my headcanons about him are that he was a two-faced DICK

[mushroompollution]

△ Who do you think you miss the most, out of everyone you've lost?

I mean. Right now? Leo. But I haven't really lost him yet, he's just.... Misplaced.

So then... It's gotta be Ernest. He was my idol growing up, he was always so smooth and cool and popular and wise. He'd give me life advice and then help me get up to some kind of mischief. When I was finding myself, he was right there to teach me how to be a man.

I still remember uh. McDonalds had some stupid happy meal toy I wanted when I was way too old for that kind of thing. Like 13 or 14 Idk He took me through the drive-through in his lamborghini and he even got a Happy Meal too. Would not stop complaining about how gross it was, but he still stole some of my fries.

He was the one who took me to the orphanage where I met Leo, even though it got him and Claude in trouble. And he was the first one to give in and let me hire Leo.

I guess I wish I could know what he'd think of me now.

[overthinkingtaleblr]

What ideas do you have about cardboard Friend? do you believe that Barnacle and cbf are the same person?

My Cardboard Friend Headcanon Masterlist

(and the occasional guest headcanon for "Barnacle Boat")

Actually, anon, I don't normally consider Barnacle Boat and Cardboard Friend to even be aware of the other's existence, much less being the same person. I think that every trait they share is resultant of varying levels of coincidence. However, I am not opposed to considering that hc and considering what that would mean in conjunction to other headcanons of mine. My actual hcs for CBF are too complicated to summarize tbh.

Several dozen theories and headcanons under the cut!

I HC CBF as using it/its pronouns, if you're not comfortable with this I am very sorry.

Origins / Motives HCs

In order from least to most dangerous, and if something seems equally dangerous the less paranormal option will be listed first. I am not involved with nor do I use every headcanon I'm going to list here, but I like sharing everything that's crossed my mind in case someone else has an idea on what to build upon.

Least Dangerous - Cardboard Friend is the ghost of a child who just so happened to be around when Gregory was alone. In this headcanon, there is nothing dangerous about CBF at all, it's just a lost child looking for some kind of family and is not actively seeking Ghost, only recognized him. If I want to be soft with this option, I'd say that CBF recognizes T.Casket as their dad because T.Casket took in CBF before he died hoping to help the child move on. In this hc, Casket was always the dangerous aspect between Gregory and CBF's friendship. Ghost only associates CBF with the trauma of it so hard that he thinks CBF was the danger. CBF is terrified of Casket (to the point of screaming and running away), so perhaps in this hc, Casket is what killed T.Casket, and CBF is horrified of him. Can be solved through adoption and managing to convince it that Ghost is grown.

Less Dangerous - CBF is a ghost of a family member, one with history in the Casket Family and one who probably has a bone to pick with either T.Casket or Jimmy. This comes in two separate headcanons with incredibly different levels of danger, but this CBF has a problem with Casket and took Gregory to in some way protect him. This one is probably either a child, a sibling of Gregory's, or a caretaker of some kind and recognizes that there is something very wrong with Ghost after T.Casket dies. In fact, this CBF could be a memory of T.Casket living on, trying to recreate and find a safe environment for Ghost to grow up in, not realizing Ghost is grown, and unable to accept that he's changed. He doesn't mean any harm toward Ghost, but may cause an accident trying to get to Casket.

Questionably Dangerous - An incredibly complicated mixture - a clone (of a clone of a clone?) of Johnny Toast with very little of his own mind left, fused to a bunch of boxes after practically dying on them and being suddenly sent back in time. He's drawn toward Gregory like a moth to the flame because he recognizes his old friend. This would make CBF some kind of warped idea of a ghost, and I do think it actually lessens possible plotlines and creative ideas, but perhaps I'm only here for drama. In this headcanon, the most dangerous aspect is the lucidity of this version of Toast, and how he may end up being dangerous just because of how what he's been through has left him. Would he hurt Gregory without realizing it, or see hurting Gregory as a type of love, or not be dangerous at all? Depends on the author.

Unintentionally Dangerous - Created through an Ernest mistake haha... Seriously though, this hc is one of my current favorite ones: CBF is the result of Ghost's uncle Ernie (Ernest) playing with Ghost and giving him an imaginary friend, and as a result of this, it accidentally breathed life into CBF. I was going to rate this as less dangerous but between Melon Friend murdering Billy's dad and what I hc'd to be his uncle, and Lily Friend (I don't bring her up often but she's a robot who went on a murderous rampage as SOON as Billy decided they were besties) going on a murderous rampage as soon as Billy decided they were besties (I think I'm funny), I realized that Billy's friend system might be the problem, and depending on how obsessive CBF is over Gregory, it could be incredibly dangerous ESPECIALLY toward Gregory himself.

Intentionally Dangerous - CBF is a ghost of a family member, one with history in the Casket Family and one who probably has a bone to pick with either T.Casket or Jimmy. This comes in two separate headcanons with incredibly different levels of danger, but this CBF has a problem with T.Casket and is taking it out on Gregory since their actual target is dead. They are a vengeful spirit and want to see the poor guy suffer, even behind the not-very-scary outside :> demeanor. The more Ghost trusts his own reality, the better to this ghost. Can be solved with some kind of outside external help.

Danger through Memory - The first CBF with Gregory could be anything, but the CBF Ghost encountered years later is some kind of borderline parasite creature feeding off of one of Ghost's most deep-rooted fears, and Ghost being there was actually saving that couple from facing any of their own traumas since Ghost was the most interesting thing there.

Danger! Danger! Danger! - A demon that feeds on innocence or familial trust and latches onto people like parasites, this version would be what I headcanoned back when I was in middle school. This includes the demon having the ability to shape how the people perceive their own reality so it can insert itself into households. Since it sees Ghost as its brother (and a variety of other reasons) it can manipulate Ghost's mind and possibly physical age if it's given the trust. Even if left alone, it will proceed to insert itself into and kill other families around the world, and is drawn to tragedy like flies to carrion. It probably only found Gregory because it killed T.Casket when he tried to banish it, making it calling him its dad more of a mockery than anything. This thing is actively malicious toward Ghost and Gregory and is more interested in him because he's the victim that got away.

HHHHH - In the original video CBF appears in, at the end, it is said that CBF is a living old man who kidnapped Gregory. That is an uncomfortable dip into realism and depending on how severe you choose to make this background, I feel you would probably need to tag some kind of warning if you intend to write it. Since CBF is completely and undeniably a ghost by its next appearance, I find it perfectly fine to consider this point retconned.

But What is Barnacle Boat, Then?

I have my own independent headcanons for her so I’m not going too deep here. I want her to have her own Masterpost because I think she deserves it.

First point of note is that I generally consider BB to be a girl and use she/her for them, though I’m not opposed to considering they and it as well. In my headcanons, Barnacle Boat is Spooker’s older sister, Chakalata’s oldest child, and Poppy’s mother.

There is a video from awhile back where Papa goes to a hotel run by Chakalata, and someone with Spooker’s character model is there working for him. I don’t think they’re specifically named in the video, but it ends with them being almost point-blank nuked by Billy… I’ve decided that that is why she looks like that. Her whole family’s thing is incredibly complicated and deserves a masterpost of its own, but all you need to know is that she can’t die, so she can’t respawn, and she can get hurt. Being shot point-blank with a NUKE left her too hurt and radioactive to continue in “normal” society without putting people at risk, so her dad got her a job at Hell’s island… before it started collapsing in on itself.

How does she know Gregory then? Easy— through their parents.

BB, who I’ve dubbed Emerson or Emmie since I wanted her to have her own name, worked at her dad’s restaurant before Gregory was taken by CBF, and got to know the family pretty well before she set off on her own to try to start her own family and stuff. Chakalata and T.Casket were pretty tight before things broke down and imploded. She was never told about what happened since it wasn’t any of her business, but managed to figure out where she knew Ghost from while showing him around Hell’s Island, assuming he was only going by Ghost because of some weird ‘trick the ghosts into thinking you’re someone else’ plot or something… but JGS was the one who wound up banishing her father, so her ignoring his preferred name for a short time was less of a personal slight and more her not realizing it wasn’t just a nickname he liked a lot.

“Wouldn’t Spooker also know Ghost as Gregory?” They were both really young (Spooker is only a little older than Ghost in my canon), Spooks has no reason to connect the two in his head, and in my universe Spooks spent basically all his time with his mom when his parents got divorced, which is why Spooker didn’t get banished like his dad and niece. long story short— Spooker knew Gregory but probably barely remembers him and has no idea he and Ghost have any affiliation… let alone that they’re the same person.

Okay, done with her for now ^^

Back to the boxes.

General Headcanons

Food - Cardboard Friend cannot eat, it cannot experience life the same way a living person can (unless it's a headcanon where it's alive), but it does have a favorite food: Sandwiches. Not because it actually likes sandwiches, but because Gregory did. If it is a really touchy innocent specter, they just want to get closer to its.. buddy. If it's a demon, it's using the lure of sounding 'human' to lull people into a false sense of security.

Phobias - Ghost gets a couple of fears from CBF, but whether we make this innocent or not depends on the person. Personally, I think CBF was scared of birds, and instilled a similar fear in Gregory. However Ghost is also scared of old men. Once again: give a warning if you intend to follow that plotline to its conclusion.

Family? - In my headcanons, CBF is one of a kind, and there is nothing else like it in the manner of a species. It may see itself as a human and is actively seeking anything familiar to it just for the comfort of company. Unless it's a demon or living person/ghost, then it's one of those.

Education - I think part of why Ghost can't read is CBF having an actual stunting effect on him in wanting him to stay with him. I think CBF can't read, can't write, can only really talk because Gregory can. There is a chance the pair is inherently linked.

Relationship Headcanons