#I'm so dang blessed to have great mutuals

[wakanai]

Hii my beloved mutual

I just wanted to say, you're such a sweet and thoughtful person for always thinking about other people and trying to brighten their day up a little and I don't think you hear it enough. I'm sure you're a great friend to have in real life, and your friends are really lucky to have you.

But also, I do hope you're taking care of yourself. I don't want to seem too forward, but as a person with a people-pleaser attitude myself, I know that sometimes it feels more like an obligation, a burden and a weight to do it, even if it's for your own friends. But you also can't stop doing it because then they'll assume something is wrong. If all of this isn't very applicable to you, all well and good! I'm glad. But if it does, I just want you to know that I, and by extension everyone else you know, love you for who you are :)

I just wanted to make sure and tell you this. It doesn't have to feel like a duty. You are your own person and your worth isn't defined by what people think of you, so don't worry about them.

And for what it's worth, we really appreciate you ♡

Have a great day love.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

raaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

bro thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you 😭😭

is this how you feel? for what it's worth, I hope you're doing better in that regard and not still forcing yourself to do things out of obligation.

On my end, actually

funny that you mention it because I do *have trauma* from a certain friend because of that 😂🤭🤭

She would text me everyday, sometimes call me during online class even though she knew I was busy, and actually I was okay with it but then

she started making back handed remarks, and acting toxic in general 😂

after a big event where I felt manipulated by her, I lost some of my 'heart' for her and every day listening to her texts felt like a chore and made me feel trapped.

Came to a point where I hated the sound of a text notification because I dreaded if it was her.

Dude, she even got mad at me once because I didn't ask, "how are you?" after she visited my house.

Like, she arrived back to her home after visiting me, right? I get a text message later that day saying

"thanks a lot for asking how I am" (sarcastic)

like WOJEFRINA 😂😂😂

turns out she had a bad experience on her way back home but like JWEIJWRT be fr man 😃

when I first received that text, my first thought was

"Am I obliged to ask you how you are?"

and I hated her so much in that moment.

(At that point in time, she literally texted me every day and I usually responded cheerfully and kindly even though I had some things against her).

Bro, she's the reason I bought the book, "How to Deal With Difficult People" by Bo Sanchez 😂

I read that book and one advice from that book was to love them from a distance and to distance yourself from them cause you can't truly love a person who hurts you 😄(plus you're just enabling their toxic behavior which isn't helping either of you in the long run - but that's my opinion for another day-)

(inserting these excerpts because it gives me nostalgia looking back at them 😂)

That book helped me decide that I was going to distance myself from her. There were actually several 'ways' that book suggested in dealing with a toxic person. One of them was confrontation and another was gradually distancing (not meeting them if you can help it, etc.)

Me, being the person who hates confrontation at the time naturally went with the less...'scary option.' 😂🤭

I decided to distance myself gradually.

GIRL I KID YOU NOT. I was so anxious at ignoring her texts.

It was hard for me to not respond to her text for even a single day.

Like. Bro. Not responding to a text for a day felt like a milestone.

iirc there was even a time where ignoring her text for an hour felt like an accomplishment.

Like 😭😭😭😭😭

eventually, after lots of praying, crying, contemplating, hating her secretly that it ate me inside to overlook her annoying remarks (like when she made fun of me for my weight🤣), I eventually confronted her at like 2 am.

I sent her a text explaining why I've grown distant, my honest feelings, and that I wanted to take a break from her as a friend.

I fell asleep. Checked my phone again in the morning. Saw that she replied.

AND BRO. It took me like...a while. just. to. open. her. reply.

I opened it.

She apologized actually and said she understood.

Had a big 'THANK YOU GOD!!' moment. I was celebrating, dancing, screaming inside because I. literally. felt. so. free.

THANK U GOD!!!

FR.

I will never regret that day I cut ties with her.

Had a whole 'closure' thing. She apologized. I forgave her.

(yk what's funny? my people-pleasing persona was like 'oh will a month break be ok?' then she was like 'girl, even if it's a year, I understand') <<< internally, I was thinking 'actually I have no plans of ever being friends again'

😂😂 past me is so sillay lol.

She's a good person. It's just..she just got toxic lol. even good people can be toxic if it's not confronted.

ANYWAYS!!

It's because of that experience that I need my friends to be okay with late replies and seen zones. I always tell them,

'If I don't reply or seen zone you, I'm either not in the mood or I'm doing something atm. It doesn't mean I hate you or that we have beef. I'll tell you if something's wrong. So don't freak out if I seen zone. It just means I'll reply to your message later '

because I can't stand feeling pressured to respond to a text message right away.

Thank you so much to my ex-friend for that ❤️

(JK. but actually, really though. It's good I'm like this now compared to before where I put everything on hold just to reply right away).

So right now,

I'm glad to say that I'm better at prioritizing myself instead of doing things for my friends out of obligation 🤭❤️

rn, I do things mainly because I want to. and I don't feel as stressed about my friends <3

(but I do admit, even if I tell my friends I seen-zone, I sometimes still feel uneasy when I don't respond after a certain amount of time---)

sadfsregthrts.

my main struggle right now is being confident because I'm super shy and socially awkward in real life.

the people-pleasing personality that keeps me from sharing my thoughts and personality, especially to strangers irl. that little pest.

(this is the people pleaser in me hugging the people pleaser in you. we're both struggling together lol.)

I appreciate you sending me this message. It means a lot. like..

this is prob me rn. (I'm kyouka on the left).

thank you...

really. i appreciate it.

XOXO

have a good day, as in.

i hope you know we appreciate you too.

u made my day better.

thank you for sending me this.

and yes we will definitely succeed in killing that pesty little people pleaser part of us.

Have a lovely day and hug from me 💗

------

also I'm just going to add hehe..

you're giving me mom friend vibes. it's giving Kunikida ✨🤌🫴

I love it.

mwa.