#I'm so burnt out about school and all-around just in a kind of shitty mental state but this game is keeping me going right now.

[six-improbable-things]

Mmmm, the Demon mythic path is tasty. I'm loving it so far, and I've barely even started! I just did the little "escape from the Ivory Labyrinth" quest, and boy do I love this shit. It's so wild that I got a mini preview of a later dungeon because I got kidnapped in my dreams by the daughter of a demon lord. Honestly, "kidnapped, tortured for info, and replaced by a doppleganger" is such a whumpy fanfic plot, but I really do love it. Genuinely, I do. It's exactly the kind of thing I would write myself to be self-indulgent and have fun. So I'm certainly having fun with it in the game.

Daeran's personal quest is also tasty, and I'm very excited to see where it goes. I've only done the initial party at Heaven's Edge, but I'm so intrigued already. I can't believe I didn't bring him with me the first time. He's really really growing on me. And seeing the visions of his past... 🥺 I'm too attached to this fucker. (As I am with all of the characters in this game, tbh. I adore all of them.)

And Wenduag!! I love her so much. Her starting a fight and killing people in the tavern... augh, exactly my kind of woman. Killing Lann did hurt though, since he was my romance choice in my first save, and I do love him a lot. But c'est la vie for a demon, I suppose... Especially a demon who's trying to win over Wenduag. (The demonic mongrels calling Wenduag "Wendu" because they'd been spending time with Lann made me so sad though. Like, you just ordered these people to murder your former friend, and now they're calling you by the nickname he used for you. Augh. The tragedy of the two of them... It hurts and I love it.)

Oh, and Meatloaf update: His AC is 36 now... (It should be more, but for some reason when swapping from bracers of armor +1 to bracers of armor +3, his AC only went up by 1... Idk what's up with that. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he's wearing barding?? Daeran has two pieces of equipment that give him a +2 armor bonus (so they shouldn't stack at all, I only have him wearing both for the extra benefits of one of them), but when I take one of them off his AC goes down by 1. If it's a bug, I'm not mad about it, lmao. I always need higher ACs in this game.)

[yeonjuins]

hey I’ve been feeling kind of uninspired lately and idrk to fix it.. like I have ideas and WANT to do them but when I open ps I cant do it. I even have ideas written down but nothing comes out when I try to follow through and I give up very quickly 😕

do u have this same problem or could this just be a personal thing ? I did just recently finish a big project that I’m really proud of 🫶🏾 so I could probably just be burned out? But that was weeks ago lmao

june anon - also I saw u answer my rec list so I’ll read that rn

(lengthy response! 1/2)

honestly i 100% get what you mean PAHAHA i feel like i'm constantly surrounded by inspiration and new ideas and it gets me pumped and motivated to begin creating but the moment i sit down and actually try to start, i have no idea what i'm doing whatsoever... then it spirals down a whole rabbit hole of 'my taste in xyz is significantly larger than my actual skill level'

likewise, i went into my summer so mentally prepped and ready to begin designing for yeonjuins a lot more and making silly little kpop edits or even venture off into bigger projects to challenge myself but alas, i felt so burnt out without even beginning. prior, i had finished a major design project in one of my classes (to which i ended up getting a 98% in so it was worth <3) which pretty much pushed my creative abilities all around. i sort of had the mindset that i'd go into summer being able to expand off of it but i didn't even begin to create things until what.... two months into my summer? and school being right around the corner now too? PAHAHHA

a lot of creatives will say this as well but you have to make a lot of shitty things in order to make good things. even if you are feeling uninspired and don't know what to make but you know you want to make things, make it. it'll probably end up shitty, you'll probably hate it and think you wasted your time, but literally, in order to make good shit, you need to make actual shit first LOL

there's a lot of, what i recently learnt was called, 'invisible work' that goes into making things. even with my he he ha ha graphics with yeonjuins that are just based around my silly little kpop boys, i do research, make sure all my references are correct, making sure i pull from the right sources, etc etc. it seems overwhelming at first, but if you just get down to the mindset that you need to just make something, whether it be good or absolutely awful, it's a lot less daunting.

one of my favourite favourite quotes is from this book called 'tiny beautiful things' by cheryl strayed. i cried my heart out to this book, and specifically, this part made me get down on my floor and sob.

“do you know what it is to be humble? [...] i’d finally been able to begin [to write again] because i’d let go of all the grandiose ideas i’d once had about myself and my writing-

so talented! so young!

i’d stopped being grandiose.

i’d lowered myself to the notion that the absolute only thing that mattered was getting that extra beating heart out of my chest. which meant I had to write my book.

my very possibly mediocre book. my very possibly never-going-to-be-published book. my absolutely nowhere-in-league-with-the-writers-i’d-admired-so-much-that-i-practically-memorized-their-sentences book. it was only then, when i humbly surrendered, that i was able to do the work i need to do.”  (page 57)

tldr: just make shit. there are so many scrapped versions of my gfxs people don't see and so many scrapped ideas that don't even see the light of day on this site. but i think that's also the beauty of being a creator ! you build resilience. you make shitty things to only then make good things. just be patient with yourself my love, ideas will flow when it all fits together but you need to allow for your ideas to flow first (":