#I'm secretly a very private person (which is a very funny statement)

[bunnyhopkins]

What the fuck do you mean ppl I don't like can still perceive me and my relationships

[bridgertonbabe]

In the Royals AU, do they ever have to tackle rumours about Eloise being bi or lesbian? Or does she accidentally create those rumours herself by joking about Penelope being her "bedfellow"?

Some of the European royal courts have in recent years made statements about royals being able to marry who they want or the very diplomatic, "what's allowed for normal citizens is allowed for the royal members", so I'm curious how you see the Bridgerton royals tackle this topic & especially if rumours start to flurry about one of the kids' sexuality

Honourary mention to King Karl Johan who during his reign cancelled over 200 newspapers because the newspapers wouldn't stop speculating if he was gay & had an affair with the Prime Minister. The rumours started because it was public knowledge that the King had meetings with the PM in the King's bedroom, the explanation was that the King couldn't cope with the cold Swedish weather hence he had to stay in bed when the PM was visiting. You probably won't be able to do anything with that knowledge, I just find the whole thing funny & it's one of my favourite stories to tell 😂

So with Eloise being so righteous in promoting a woman's right to be independent and not need a man to be validated in life, of course it opens up the public and media speculation that the princess is the least hetero-normative of her siblings. Coupled with the fact that she's never been reported to have been in a relationship before (especially in comparison to her siblings), most people believe that Eloise is closeted - in public, at least.

In truth, Eloise was a late-bloomer when it came to dating and relationships, being so staunchly focused on her studies and dismissive of needing romance to fulfill her that it wasn't until her last year of uni that she had her first kiss with her tutor, Theo. They secretly dated for the remainder of her time at university but beyond being intellectual equals with some shared interests, there wasn't enough there to build a serious relationship on and they amicably parted ways. It was only following this first foray in being with another person that Eloise began to crush on others - at which point she realised she was getting the hots for girls as much as she was for guys. By this time her sexuality was already a topic of conversation in the media and while Eloise wanted to be out and proud, she didn't want the media scrutiny in her life by becoming the first openly queer member of the royal family, knowing just how awful the tabloid press could be or how they might paint her confirmed sexuality in an unattractive light just to sell papers.

Eloise found herself between a rock and a hard place because while she wasn't ready to be out about her sexuality in public, there was still the difficulty of exploring her bisexuality in private. She had never been one to keep big social circles like her brothers and she wasn't trusting enough of people in general to think that stories wouldn't be sold on her and her dating life. It was bad enough that her close and only friendship with Penelope was already raising eyebrows that they were in a long-term lesbian relationship, and quite frankly she dreaded being pictured with anyone due to the constant speculation (and seeing as everyone assumed they were more than friends Eloise ended up asking Penelope if they could practice kissing each other so Eloise could be better experienced for when she eventually managed to find someone to be in a relationship with).

But in spite of her close-knit social circle, Eloise did manage to find someone she could date without the relationship leaking; Edwina Sharma. They had been close since Kate and Anthony got together but it wasn't until they were hanging out one night, drinking and lamenting of their shared frustration of their dating lives being so heavily focused on in the public eye that they found themselves making out before waking up together the next morning. For the next eighteen months they were quite contently dating (and while they were snapped hanging out together the papers reported on them being nothing more than gal pals) and Eloise even began seeing their relationship making it in the long run to the point that she suggested to her girlfriend that they could come out together - but to her great disappointment Edwina didn't want their relationship to come to light. While she did love Eloise she didn't want their relationship and sexualities to come to light. She had enough press attention as one of the country's leading supermodels as well as being the queen's sister, and she told Eloise she couldn't bear the thought of the media circus that would forever surround her if she came out as being gay and in a relationship with the king's sister. Eloise tried to win her round, envisioning them being a power couple and an inspiration for the queer community but Edwina shattered her hopes when she told the princess she didn't want that before ending the relationship.

Eloise closed herself off to dating as she recovered from her heartbreak and threw herself into her royal duties even more, particularly when it came to charities and programs promoting women's rights. From time to time she considered coming out and she regularly discussed the matter with Benedict and Sophie - both of whom understood her dilemma as while they were comfortable in their sexuality, they didn't want the media to make a big song and dance over it by coming out, especially with how cruel the tabloids had been towards Sophie - but always ended up opting out of opening up about her bisexuality to the public.

When she got with Phillip she was even less keen to address her sexuality publicly, apprehensively imagining the speculation that would come with it of people assuming her marriage was just a cover-up by the royal family. She began to make peace with the fact that her sexuality was only a matter for behind closed doors - but then one day Eloise came across Amanda playing with her Barbie dolls and making them kiss and her step-daughter stated that her Barbie thinks kissing Ken dolls is gross and that kissing other Barbies is better because they're so much prettier; and in an instant Eloise decided to make a public statement of her sexuality. She wanted to be a role model to her daughter, to show her she never needed to hide her true self away and that she should be proud of her identity.

At an LGBTQ+ charity event, Eloise made an uplifting and powerful speech in support of people being more accepting before biting the bullet and sharing how she identified as a member of the queer community herself. She declared her bisexuality and spoke out against bi-erasure, knowing how easily people could dismiss her just because she married a man and completely missing the point of what being bisexual means. While she got a resounding cheer and round of applause in the room, she was terrified to face the rest of the world and all of their opinions; but much to her relief the reaction was overwhelmingly positive (and even though there were still certain factions who criticised or talked shit about her, she didn't let their judgment bother her in the slightest).

[nomoremetaphors]

How do you think the lex redemption arc would pan out further along in the dceu? I'm hoping that they will go in that direction too and I'm curious to hear your theories

All right, you asked me this, and I hope you remember that as this is liable to get long, involved, and more than a little bit fringe-theory in nature, because I’m definitively a Lex stan first and foremost when it comes to the DCEU.

So, first: Who is Lex Luthor?

Lex is, fundamentally, a representation of this line from Alfred in BVS: 

That’s how it starts.  The fever, the rage…the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men cruel.

Lex and Bruce are mirrors to each other in BVS – the difference and divergence between them is that while Bruce can be forced to see Clark’s humanity through the connection of “having a mother” and the idea that saving Martha can be a redemptive act for him, Lex is too isolated to find any commonality between himself and “Clark.  Joseph.  Kent.”  If anything, Lex shows more sympathy to Zod in the Genesis chamber than he does to anyone else.

It’s always been a little darkly funny to me that the very things that make Clark human – his restraint, his gentleness, his commitment to justice – are the very things that make him so alien to Lex.  Lex believes that power cannot be innocent; he uses that as a justification for his own evil and as a reason to believe that Superman has to be a fraud, and has to be secretly evil himself. 

This comes out of a need, I believe, to see himself as a necessary product of his childhood and the power that he now holds.

Lex spent his childhood under a man who had an impeccable public reputation, but was an abusive, religious monster in private (”No man from the sky intervened when I was a boy to save me from Daddy’s fist and abominations.”).  In believing that power generates evil, he also had to learn that the only way to be safe is to be powerful, more powerful than other people.  

He does what he does out of a need to survive in a world that he absolutely thinks conforms to his own childhood experiences of power and abuse.  It allows him to do terrible things, because he thinks that he has to be evil anyway.

And Lex does see himself as evil – he refers to himself as “the problem of evil in the world” when first speaking to Superman on top of the tower.  

If Superman is not ultimately evil – and by dying to save mankind, he proves he is not – then everything that Lex has ever done, all the evil he has become, wasn’t necessary.  It opens up a wide world of choices that Lex could have made differently, and I’m not sure Lex knows how to live with that.

Now, we have to take into account a second question: what does this mean, thematically speaking?

I think that this actually ties most heavily into Suicide Squad.  SS thematically focuses on the idea that good and evil are ongoing choices that people make.  Almost every member of the Squad has done something reprehensible – Killer Croc eats people, Harley helped kill Robin, Deadshot is a hitman, Boomerang is a thief, and Diablo killed his wife and children.

And, in some ways, the element of choice is taken from them by the chips implanted in their necks.  But that stops mattering when they get into direct conflict with Enchantress.  She shows them their deepest desires in an illusion to distract them, but all of them break the illusion.  Ultimately, Diablo sacrifices his life to help stop her.

So, good and evil are choices that people make from day to day.  This opens up the potential for redemption arcs across the villainy spectrum.

From a character perspective, Lex is in the perfect position to embark upon a redemption arc, to learn from watching Superman die that he could choose to be better himself.  From a thematic perspective, this would fold into the idea that good and evil are choices, and that bad people can do good things.

So, this brings us, once again, to the third question we can start to theorize about, the question I touched on in the last post: What will Lex do in Justice League?

Well, let’s start with the narrative context.  Lex is the person who knows the most about Steppenwolf and alien technology, barring Cyborg.  He has the capacity to use Kryptonian technology, and there is still Kryptonian tech on Earth.  

Additionally, Lex has only ever been wrong about one thing – Superman’s motivations.  Everything else he’s said has been true.  He manipulated Bruce and Clark masterfully, and is the first person to warn Bruce about the impending invasion of Steppenwolf/Darkseid.  It is, technically speaking, because of Lex that Bruce is so intent on pulling the Justice League together so quickly.

And Lex knows that demons don’t come from hell beneath us.  They come from the sky.

Lex would see Steppenwolf and Darkseid as the ultimate manifestation of every dark thing he thought Superman had to be.  He could very easily latch onto this as a chance for redemption.

This is why I foresee Lex building his warsuit.  I also believe that he, like in the N52 comics, may pattern it off of Superman’s colors.  No Lanterns, no Kryptonians – but a man wearing Kryptonian symbols, fighting in honor of a Kryptonian, that would be something.  

It would also provide a theoretical answer to the question asked in BVS, Should there even be a Superman?

June Finch answers that with There is.  And there must be – that’s the whole point of the Reign of the Supermen arc in the comics, and why Lex takes on Clark’s colors and cape in the N52 after he dies.

Zack Snyder favors complexity and moral quandaries in his superhero films.  We know this.  Having Lex embark on a redemption arc would be another chance for Zack to tackle this kind of story, because it would be a longer haul and much tougher sell than the way Batman finds his way back to the light in BVS.

And now, to really get to your question: How will that redemption arc look?

First of all, I don’t believe Lex will be trusted, and definitely not at first.  Any partnership between him and the League would be borne out of necessity and reluctance on the part of the Justice League.

Lex will likely resent this a little, because he is that kind of person.  Nevertheless, he will make a name for himself as a hero, an atoner for his past sins.  Eventually, he may even become friends with some of the members of the League.

Lois will never be okay with this – and frankly, I wouldn’t blame her.  Lex was particularly awful to her specifically, and, unlike Clark who died, she has had to deal with the lasting ramifications of Lex’s actions.  Bruce, also, will never, ever trust Lex, even a little bit, because he’s already sworn that he will be keeping an eye on Lex forever.

Now, this is the part where I start to wander into fringe theoretical territory, if I haven’t already, but I have to say it:

I believe that the “him” that Barry is referring to in Bruce’s vision is Lex, not Clark.  

This is the full text of what Barry tells Bruce in the vision:

Bruce! Listen to me now! It’s Lois! Lois Lane! She’s the key! Am I too soon? I’m too soon! You were right about him! You’ve always been right about him! Fear him! Find us, Bruce! You have to find us!

Now, most people took that as an implication that Superman is going to become the dark, monstrous, Injustice-flavored version.  Other people took it just as a dream, like the Knightmare sequence or the Man-bat dream.

But if you consider the idea of Lex as the ‘him,’ the quote still holds up.

It’s Lois!  Lois Lane!  She’s the key! – If Bruce had listened and sought out Lois Lane, she would have been able to tell him about what Lex had done to the compound in Nairomi, and the way he’s been manipulating him.  She’s also the key to understanding Clark’s humanity.  Additionally, if this does reference something in the future – which is likely – Lex is fairly likely to interact with Lois in the future; their enmity is a common part of most Lois-Lex dynamics, both in the comics and on TV.

Am I too soon?  I’m too soon! – In terms of time travel, this is a really ambiguous statement.  Does he mean “too early?”  That’s what most people took it to mean.  If so, why would the quote be about Superman?  If it was, then wouldn’t this be exactly the right time to tell Bruce he’s right to be doing what he’s doing – while he still has the capacity to kill Clark himself?  But if it’s Lex, it fits almost scarily well, especially if you consider the idea of a redemption arc.

You were right about him!  You’ve always been right about him!  Fear him! – People, including possibly Bruce himself, thought this has to do with Superman.  But Barry doesn’t meet Bruce until after Superman dies.  After Clark’s death, Bruce comes to understand that Clark is, in fact, just a man trying to do the right thing.  Bruce does say in the JL trailer that Superman showed people the best parts of themselves.  This doesn’t jive at all with the idea of a panicked You were right about him!  You’ve always been right about him!

If Lex becomes part of, or an ally to, the League, and then betrays them, Bruce will have always been right about him, and the “always” has to do with the whole time Barry has known Bruce.  Additionally, Bruce has never liked Lex, even before Lex’s true depths of evil were known – we can see that in the party scene.  His opinion of Lex hasn’t really changed, just gotten worse.

Now, what do I think happened in this future?

Well, it has to do with the Darkseid War in the comics.  After Darkseid is killed, Lex returns to Apokolips to lead a revolution and install himself as its ruler.  Subsequently, in the Men of Steel story arc, Super-Lex and Pre-N52 Superman encounter precognitive aliens who have seen a future where Lex has become a despot who is worse than Darkseid.

The Lex we have in the DCEU has shown himself to be unstable even in his most together moments.  It wouldn’t take much for him to return to his evil ways, especially if he feels betrayed by Superman for whatever reason.  If he takes control of Apokolips, that could be a precursor to a future that Barry warns against by traveling back in time.

So, in summation: I believe that Lex will try to redeem himself, but something will either prevent that, or some perceived betrayal will have him slide firmly back into villain territory, leading to Barry traveling back in time to try to warn Bruce about it.  

Thanks for asking!  It was nice to get this all out on paper, frankly.

[lovelettersandeathreats-blog]

i miss him !!

2nd June 2017 11 pm 

By God, we are nearly 1/2 way through with this year and less than 5 months left until I'm finished with my yr12 exams. Things have gotten a lot more steady because we haven't had anything due in the past week. I feel very vulnerable and ‘fuck all’ atm so I don't think I care about revealing private parts of my life. Apart from my photosets, nothing else have gotten notes so I think it’s safe. I’m going to tell myself that any of these thoughts are just me being paranoid.

On Monday there was the English viva exam, which I skipped school for because I didn’t prepare. Turned up the next day and visited my babe of a teacher first thing in the morning. Landed in my ancient classroom and the door open slightly, sparking all these disturbing intrusive thoughts. Recently (in the past few months) I've conditioned myself to just allow these types of thoughts to pass by instead of fighting them and being embarrassed and having a war in my head. This approach is a lot more helpful. Back to the Hamlet viva... so I was very nervous and had nothing to say when he asked me and he said we could do it in period 3. He interviewed me in the deputy principal’s office and there was a strong beam of morning light coming through the top window and shone on his face.  I rambled on and he said it was unstructured but otherwise ‘good'. The first question was what lines of the play did you find the most inspiring, giving me an excuse to read (not even recite) Hamlet’s ‘ what a piece of work is man..’ soliloquy... I do think I was ver expression and on that 30 sec along he could tell I just LOOVE Hamlet. I guess that's the last of High school Shakespeare completed! (Oh no wait there's trials and HSC) viva... so I was very nervous and had nothing to say when he asked me and he said we could do it in period 3. He interviewed me in the deputy principal’s office and there was a strong beam of morning light coming through the top window and shone on his face.  I rambled on and he said it was unstructured but otherwise ‘good'. The first question was what lines of the play did you find the most inspiring, giving me an excuse to read (not even recite) Hamlet’s ‘ what a piece of work is man..’ soliloquy... I do think I was ver expression and on that 30 sec along he could tell I just LOOVE Hamlet. I guess that's the last of High school Shakespeare completed! (Oh no wait there's trials and HSC) 

Today is Saturday and I've been on a break with my boyfriend for about a fortnight. Yes one fortnight without talking to me, I have come so far... This break has been different from other ones. I think I have changed. I’ve stopped pestering my friends. The days feel a lot faster and I don't feel so emotional. I’ve only felt sad when I talk to one of his friends. The reason I started a post for today was that I want to take down the thoughts I have at this moment. Regarding my collapsed friendships and my failing relationship. I’ve become very dependent on my best friend and she’s the only person I message on a daily basis. Whether it’s the first period at school or when I wake up at 1 pm on Saturday morning. She's the only person I feel like who understands me and who I trust with everything in my head. However, as life always works in this way, coincidentally this time where I feel like talking to her the most she has landed herself in her own friendship with a boy. I spam her with messages when I'm curious about where she is and she replies after a few hours. If this were a few months ago i would’ve become terribly paranoid and upset and read it in a very paranoid way, but I of now just accepts it. Time passes fast for me too. I find myself sitting in bed in the dark from 7 pm onwards, not even trying to sleep, just in bed surfing the web, reading, watching youtube, not studying until 2 am in the morn. Lonely isn’t the word I'm looking for to describe how i feel. 

James has exams in the next 3 weeks, his exams will end at the latest 26th/28th of this month. I feel sad thinking about it all, trying to make sense of it all. Whenever I think about it i feel very sad. i don't think I've been truly honest with myself about this relationship. From the bottom of my heart, i don't think that I add to his life in any significantly positive way. I don’t think I'm a very approving girlfriend and i think my emotional outbreaks to everything he does makes me incredibly unsupportive and negative for him. When he is in my life my life just revolves around what he’s doing and i schedule my life around his. When we hang out we just walk around talking about nothing at all that either of us is interested in. Lurking around on Quora, it really is the best platform for relationship advice. Very high IQ and EQ people giving anecdotes in response to others dilemma Qs. In that process, it confirmed how off i found my relationship. I am so immature and i credit all the flaws to my half and not his because I have found him extremely cooperative this whole time. This answer below really hit the nail on the head and I saved it into my personal note documents. 

I know he is happier than normal on this break on me at the moment and i think he will secretly be very happy that i am going to propose a breakup. Sunny told me it’s all about power play and he wants to be the one breaking up with me. I don't have many memories of him but we had a lot of fun in yr9/ early year 10, when he was only in yr10/11. We used to talk every day, all day until very late, about everything and anything. I would screenshot a lot of his responses and send it to the group chat had at that time. I found him so smart and funny and i had never met anyone like him before. He was absolutely perfect. I watched the Ryan Gosling Movie Blue Valentine the other week. I read about it a year or so ago and the reviews and comments that came along with it and i’m happy i watched it later instead of sooner. I think i can see reflections in my shifting mindset and attitudes in the female protagonists’. How you start off and think your partner is the greatest but over time reality kicks in. Gosling’s character has a paragraph and im not going to generalise the attitude of the whole male sex on his statement but i can also see how James thought/ still thinks in this way. Women are more realistic than men. im not going to generalise the attitude of the whole male sex on his statement but i can also see how James thought/ still thinks in this way. Women are more realistic than men, however, i think this isnt the case maybe. Chris is only naive because this is his first relationship. 

I do want to be with James forever. I have expressed countless times to different people that I want him to be the father of my children. I adore him and no one makes me happier than he does. However, i don’t think we should be together at this point in our lives. He is in university and doing a very hard course, studying full time too. Studying is his priority and he should focus on it 100%. This is his first semester and when i did ask him about whether the rest of the 4 years would be like this he replies (I'm getting teary for some reason) very snappily that it is not and it’s only like so because he’s in trouble with his parents or whatever.  

(I WROTE A FEW PARAGRAPHS MORE BUT THE PAGE CRASHED AND I LOST EVERYTHING BUT WAS ABLE TO TAKE A VERY CRAPPY SCREENSHOT OF WHAT I LOST WHERE EVERY WORD IS BLURRY AS FUCK ) 

Had a very bad breakdown last night and ended up downloaded snapchat to text him. I am very disappointed in myself. i want to swallow 40 pills and take a holiday ( that isn’t guaranteed to end) if you know what i mean. I need to be locked up or taken to a fucking sanatorium but im not rich or living in Japan in the 50s like  Naoko. FUCCCCCCK 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlSAXfxWgJ4