#I'm running low on art stuff rn to post
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I feel like I haven't posted much art
Reference pictures take a while apparently (I went from one finalized one to three sketched ones aljvaljvzjlv)
But uh
Because of this I shall give some on paper sketched of Ruin from my one fic in the process of losing his mind
+ Have the silly gay jesters from that one fic I'm trying to fix the writing of and am being caught up in how time consuming of a task that is
#I'm running low on art stuff rn to post#sorry guys#i swear I'll try to go back to my normal pace of stuff after the reference pictures are made#inkyucu#inky'sart#(first AU is sams - the second AU is not sams)#d.t.e.au#t.t.au#eclipse x ruin#ruin x eclipse#sun x moon#moon x sun#sams ruin#ruin sams#tsams ruin#ruin tsams#sams eclipse#eclipse sams#tsams eclipse#eclipse tsams#fnaf sun#sun fnaf#dca sun#sun dca#fnaf moon#moon fnaf#dca moon#moon dca#(ONCE AGAIN I REITERATE - THE SUN AND MOON ARE NOT SAMS. THEY ARE NOT BROTHERS.)
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its time, im in my charon era
ive made my first three rpg horror games :DDD
there's three because two of them are parodies and then there's one actual legit one
all three are in authentic charon game format: rpg maker 2000, similar art style, similar horror premise, short story
i did it for the aesthetic OKAY
โ ๏ธ Before venturing into any of my works, please heed my disclaimer/rules;; I don't want obstructive people engaging with me or my works โ ๏ธ
โฟ warning: running these games is a gamble because rpg maker 2000 is old software that windows is trying to assassinate (i cant even run it on my computer sometimes, i have to use a virtual machine or the game editor lol) so i apologize if it doesn't work โฟ
the readme has troubleshooting solutions, and easyrpg exists to combat this, but it's not perfect. for example, it changes the text a little bit, which ruins the aesthetic
if ur like me and u care about the aesthetic a lot, then use a virtual machine, otherwise if you have a laptop and not a hardcore gaming pc, the game will probably run fine.
(the one time that having low quality graphics is good xD)
windows 11 users beware, im sticking with 10-
when all else fails i have gameplays available on my youtube
๐ธ HERE IS THE GAME MASTERLIST ๐ธ PLAY THEM HERE
โฟ warning: running these games is a gamble because rpg maker 2000 is old software that windows is trying to assassinate (i cant even run it on my computer sometimes, i have to use a virtual machine or the game editor lol) so i apologize if it doesn't work โฟ
!! please care and heed my content warnings when playing these games, as they contain dark subject matter; i promise ill make less edgy stuff in the future its just rn i REALLY WANNA MAKE CHARON GAMES FOR FUN !!
the first two (Akeno Delusion and Carousel) are strictly parody games on the genre, and Doom Stones is the authentic 100% serious charon game
looking back akeno delusion sucks to me but thats cuz its my first one and i gotta start somewhere, the quality only goes up from there
eventually ill stop using rpg maker 2000 and make games with the other makers for more versatility but rn im in love with the retro aesthetic im so sorry
*my art isnt that good but im getting there ok!!
also just a heads up, im not 1 to 1 charon; the aesthetic, artstyle, and story elements are the same, but i dabble in male yanderes instead and i go different places with the story;
๐ธ mostly male yans
๐ธ protagonist is actually a character
๐ธ story goes a little more in depth
๐ธ more focus on the horror aspect than sexual
so basically im like a female charon right now heheheh
i plan to make more rpg games, but for sure i want to make at least three more games with similar story beats.
its because i want my own take on the concepts -- doom stones is my take on makoto mobius, but i also wanna make a "scavenger hunt a person's house" type game like makoto nikki and a yanderella equivalent (but the love triangle has more drama)
ANDโฆ. MIX ORE BUT YANDERE BUBBLE TEA??????? :DDDD
once im done ill move onto dsp era cuz i wanna make some actual rpgs; like with the cute assets and pixel art
๐ธ please follow and support me if you like these and want me to make more; this is just a small portion in the large list of games i wanna make <3
๐ฎ please feel free to contact me regarding game ratings if you sincerely think they're off, im a noob when it comes to posting stuff;; and im just going off code of conduct, if it has any hint of explicit content its going to be 18+, whereas implicit would be like 17+ idk
im not taking any chances lol
๐ธ I'd prefer if people don't contact me about troubleshooting problems, but if they have to, carefully go through my instructions first. even then keep in mind i might not be able to help;;
๐ฎ I'm posting these games on tumblr only because they're short. If I make longer games, I'll crosspost them to itch.io or something.
๐ธ I'll also make a website in the future, but for now I'll post the games on here. Thank you for stopping by!!
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had the shocking realization that i am more depressed again (it's hard for me to recognize dips and crests in it as i've been struggling with deep depression my whole life). ugh. i'm just so worn out. at the risk of giving too much personal info on here i've been struggling more than usual, in particular since the fall where i was impacted by a mass shooting, and then in january my grandfather passed away and my grandmother (other side of family) decided to go on the warpath against me less than like 4 days after he died and it would have been quicker had i returned her call the day after. since then i've been really struggling w a resurgence in my eating disorder and i've just been overwhelmed the past 2 months. i'm just so tired all the time and really don't have much emotional support from others aside from my therapist, and it's hard. a friend came to visit 3 weeks ago and it was really fun but it's hard for me to talk around all the messed up stuff in my life because a) no one can deal w it tbh and as a result, b) i can't take any more emotional rejection from opening up. like it's just too much for other people. i was doing a little better w food and then it got worse again and i'm just done. i don't feel well, and haven't read for like 2 weeks or watched a movie which is how i know i'm depressed, and haven't wanted to make any art either which is also how i know, and letting my apartment get messy which is another indicator. sometimes it's hard for me to catch because i don't necessarily have the super obvious indicators like slipping in personal hygiene etc and still run daily and have a normal sleep schedule and maintain a "normal" mood/presentation. i also think i have low level depression most of the time so it's not like 0 to 60. and the low level depression is very manageable, so then i don't even consider myself depressed even though clinically i very much am, so then i don't really wonder if i am getting more depressed ever and wonder what is going on when literally i have been struggling w bad depression for ages.
i'm also really struggling w my feelings for someone and how they interact w trauma that's soooo deeply rooted. i don't like being personally transparent about it on here but if you see what i post about the most i'm sure you'll get the idea. the idea of being in a relationship with them is incredibly appealing to me, like i wouldn't want one rn with anyone else, but also really scary as i spend a lot of time keeping people at arms length because that's the only way i can easily maintain relationships without bolting. but i really really like them. and then that whole situation is messed up too and i'm worried i like them for trauma related reasons. but if i don't like aspects of the situation (age difference mainly), and wish it were different maybe it's not coming from a dysfunctional place. i really like them because aside from being attracted to them they've displayed an ability to be alongside what's happened to me in a way that made me feel like a whole person, while also being extremely cognizant of the violence i've been the victim of, and not making it about them at all. they're literally the first and only person who has treated me like that.
i don't know.
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I love how my family say they don't invade my privacy yet if I ever receive a letter or package, they will ask what it is and get offended if I don't tell them. Because not opening it obviously means they aren't being invasive. It's easier to tell them in advance what I am expecting, if anything, rather than not tell them and have them grow more nosy.
So with that said, I just woke up and heard my parents answering the door with my mum explaining to my dad that it's "Niamh's ****" that I won in a competition earlier this week. And my sister immediately came into my room to ask what it was too because? The lady said she would put it in an ordinary envelope to be as discreet as possible and not make any family suspicious, but that doesn't work with this household ๐ญ
#there are a few reasons why I dont shop online and this is one of them#I literally cannot wait to wait to move out just so I can literally just buy stuff in peace#There's a reason why kids with strict parents usually go wild at the first opportunity they get#T-T#I don't even want to do anything wild when I leave I just want to buy cute clothes and lingerie and not feel like I can't wear them#I definitely can't wait to buy other stuff related to what I got today because god knows I need it for my own mental state#:'))))#there's even 'innocent' stuff I want to buy but I know she would call a waste of money even though it makes me feel calm and happy#The only thing I own that she doesn't know about is a colouring book and she found it recently and tried to throw it out#I panicked and I said I'd put it with stuff to give to my cousins and then when she wasn't looking I hid it away#๐๐#I really miss college for lots of reasons but being able to go shopping and buy stuff and not have to tell or show anyone is nice#there was a shop that had lots of stuff but their art and stationery was really nice and I bought a few things there before#they had lots of stickers and I'm running low on some rn rip#I'm hoping this lockdown again will mean I can order stuff online nonchalantly but I doubt it#anyways I censored this post for kiddos but its nothing big or special its literally just something to make fun stuff more fun :))#rambling on main
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i've had. A WEEK.
we ran out of gas which we get in those portable tanks taquerรญas use and like. haven't been able to get more for a ?? week-ish?
i could finally afford to buy a second tank a few months back, so we could set up the dual flippable system so that ideally when we run out of gas all we gotta do is flip a switch and then have like 2-3 months to replace the empty tank
BUT WHILE THAT HAPPENS we r still out of shit to cook & heat water with. except bf's dad uber'd us his electric grill so we r at least not letting all the food (which i bought on Thee Exact Day we ran out of gas. because of course i did) rot like last time this happened (when i ALSO bought groceries directly before running out of gas). but i still can't take hot showers which is Destroying My Brain.
also now the washing machine is Being Fucky & i think needs a filter change?? bc of the super hard water around here probably. i'm hoping it's just that & not also some nefarious effect of the place we had to install it in which is a uh.... cave. of sorts. a non-indoors-not-completely-outdoors VERY annoyingly low ceiling'd space under the building stairs which I gotta stoop dramatically to get into & doesn't let the lid open all the way and is VERY dusty and somewhat humid. and there's a huge warning label stuck on the machine saying like 'pls avoid fire risk by like. not stashing ur machine outside lol'.
and uhh also now i'm being?? i guess blackmailed by a guy who taped one of the Questionable Videocalls i've been doing so i can expand our food budget a little and maybe get prepared stuff from an Economic Kitchenโข (aka Fonda) on weekdays so i can like. have time to breathe & Not have 2 semi-abandon projects like my stream channel or the idea of launching art commissions. cause rn I can't afford to order or prepare or buy enough food to like... eat enough calories to the point where i can exercise without passing out lol (or do basic house chores without feeling like i'm gonna pass out).
he's contacting me thru discord, two different accounts so far. also joined the server I set up for my twitch channel viewers + general destiny friends (Spanish speaking edition) to post ?? screenshots? clips? idk a friend who helps me mod got rid of it + banned the guy Immediately so I didn't even see what he posted. but he could be back on a different acc at a time neither I nor my mod friend are online & Make Problems
i don't really have any sort of official resources I could call on to back me up either bc all the services involved look down on SWers even as they profit off them so....
that's been fun
i just wanna be able to put the skills i know i have to good use. and make enough money to eat decently + be able to go to the doctor lol. these aren't Insane standards. idk why i haven't been able to figure it out (hint: i do know it's The Systemic Bullshit weighing down on me but like. idk anything like........... actionable, changeable on an individual level, can't wait for therapy tomorrow where we'll continue discussing Futile Individual Strategies against the Inexorable March of The Species Towards Oblivion. lol. also it's my second to last session of free therapy! yipee).
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Running low on inspiration rn, so have some pictures I took ^^
IF YOU WANT TO USE THESE PLEASE ASK + GIVE CREDIT
(These are all from an Aquarium, but I have several more I'm different locations, just ask and I'll post them)
โโโโโโโ โก โโโโโโโ
โโโโโโโ โก โโโโโโโ
Also a low quality shark, because I really like sharks.
These are all my personal favorites
There is a fair chance that I'll become a photographer later in life, especially if my other plans don't work/aren't enough
More Octonauts stuff (and art!!!) coming soon :3
#picture#photography#ocean#aquarium#jellyfish#shark#Penguin#penguins#bird#aesthetic#aesthetic pictures#don't steal please
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