#I'm proud of this one bc I don't normally write something that has the whole plot as an internal conflict

[howdoesagrapewrites]

what wld lovesick pav and gaya be like w a s/o who tries to be like, healthy in their relationship? like they're not the "i wanna get away bc this is unhealthy" type, but the "i will actively tie you both down and make you communicate your feelings and wants in a healthy way until we can all reach a mutual agreement" way

like the two reach the stage where they don't want their love to leave the house at all- but they kinda quickly shut that down and are like "nuh uh. i have a life, so either we talk it out and find something that works for me and you two or i stay out five minutes past the curfew you set just to make you squirm"

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙩

Cw: poly!reader x lovesick! Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, explicit talk about mental health

Notes: all I can think about is the reader spraying then with a water bottle like a poorly behaved cat

>You went out of the apartment to get the grocery shopping done, your partners had been behaving oddly, they were always very affectionate and loved being around you, but lately you feel like they have been neglecting their personal life in order to be together

>You left the house when they were taking a nap, you didn't feel like you were sneaking out, just that you were doing chores while they slept

>You think about this as you examine the red apples deciding if you should buy them or not

>Your phone vibrates and you answer to a preoccupied Pavitr, you apologize for not telling them, but you didn't want to disturb them, when you're about to hang up, he hits you with "just wait, we're on our way"

>You're a little confused and annoyed by having to wait for them at the market without being able to continue the list of home necessities, but you tried to be understanding, and thought that maybe when you got home, you could start a conversation about what you've been thinking the whole afternoon

>When they arrived, the outing went smoothly, and happily, like you're used to

>After you finished organizing everything on the shelves and pantry, you started the conversation in a pretty straight forward manner, you didn't want to dance around the subject and talk about issues like they're anything aside a from a completely normal part of every relationship

>You said you wanted to talk, and they were visibly nervous, however, complied

>"So I've been noticing that you don't want to leave the house, and that you get really upset when I do leave, and it concerns me, I won't force you, but I'm your partner too, I'm here for both of you."

>I think these two would be one of the easiest characters to pull into therapy and get them to work through their issues, something that's surprising considering they would never accept this if you were dating individually

>The challenge here is definitely Pavitr, because like I've said a million times already, he's extremely delusional

>So it'll be hard to even make him realize there's an issue with his obsession, also you'll need to reassure him that you're not rejecting his feelings, but rather just want to work through a more positive and healthy way of expressing and processing those feelings

>"But I love you, why don't you love me too?"

>"Of course I do, Pav, but love isn't supposed to hurt"

>Gayatri has a more clear vision of where these issues stem from and will be more cooperative with communication with time

>At first she's closed to the idea, but when she sees how much you care and that you genuinely want to help her, she lets her guard down

>If you respond positively and don't show signs of fear or disgust when she tells you about her feelings, you get to hear, the most gruesome parts, but far from scared, you're proud she feels safe to verbalize and recognize toxic behavior

>I think Pavitr would use mindfulness as a coping strategy for the yandere tendencies, and Gayatri would turn to writing

>Some of Gayatri's pieces are morbid, sure, but it's better than having her do it, you praise the effort

>Sometimes they still relapse and snap at you or get too possessive, but you're having none of it

>You set clear boundaries and as hard as that is, they understand that they'll lose your trust and love if they are unwilling to be better

>I think there's a solid 8/10 chance of fixing them

[darkscaleswriter]

palinoia for the director's cut asks? 👀

(ask for a director’s cut on any of my fics!)

omg I haven't re-read Palinoia in years, when I opened my doc for it I got slapped in the face by times new roman bc this is from before i switched to writing in calibri instead lmfao. anyway time loop fic!! i had a lot of fun experimenting with style in this one, trying to capture the low-grade horror of being trapped in time and dying again and again and again. not sure i totally succeeded, but i liked writing it at least!! i'm especially proud of the bit that's a series of vignettes that descend into repeated "reset, reset, reset" lines, i think that part really conveyed what i wanted it to. it's still satisfying to read again after 6-ish years :D

(continued under the cut)

shadow link is so fun to write, he's a classic antagonist turned antihero type character and i love it. i also have a huge soft spot for him bc loz four swords was one of my first fandoms and is probably my oldest one at this point, so he's an og blorbo for me haha. (clenches fist) someday I will treat myself and get physical copies of the manga. someday…

at any rate, i'm re-reading palinoia and kind of laughing at myself about how the key to shadow breaking out of the timeloop was just. teamwork makes the dream work, lol. including using items from past Heroes bc i like the idea of items from previous games still hanging around odd corners of hyrule. i don't think i planned it that way but it's extremely in line with the themes i tend to write ^.^'

and zelda gets to join in! past me even left a helpful note on the doc explaining that zelda gets to be there bc instead of sending that dark cloud thing to take her like in the manga, ganon got distracted by vaati being vacuumed and wasn't able to stop the links from breaking her out. i am also now realizing that i never explained what happened to vaati beyond "vacuumed into a giant gust jar" and if i had plans for that, I didn't write them down. so… i guess he just lives there, now? maybe the links go back and smash the mirror after shadow's fully revived as his own being without being tied to it? maybe the jar was sealed away to become the next hero of courage's problem??

if I was going to rewrite this fic, i think it would be interesting to add a section where shadow gets desperate and tries to recruit vaati. maybe there would be 2 villain turned antihero characters surviving to the end…? or vaati is too power-hungry to go for it and betrays shadow at the last second, if he doesn't refuse and/or kill shadow outright for being a traitor. i think the last minute betrayal version would be a good loop to lead into a deleted scene where shadow straight up just hides in the dark mirror for a loop and refuses to engage, up until the links make it to the tower and are like "hey tf is this giant mirror and should we break it or something"

that deleted scene never got finished, i'm guessing bc it was leading up to shadow letting the links smash the mirror without ever revealing that he was inside (rip). based when where i was in life when i wrote this fic, i probably wasn't in a headspace to get quite that dark. i think there's a difference between considering your death an acceptable sacrifice in a fight to prevent a supervillain from taking over the kingdom and not caring about your death happening bc depression, y'know?

there's another deleted scene where shadow has a much more dramatic death that involves him fighting vaati in single combat himself, and ending the fight by chucking a bomb at the dark mirror to kill them both. i think that was vaguely what the final loop was supposed to be before the gust jar idea, and there was a whole bit with vio where vio is extra upset as shadow is dying in his arms bc shadow promised earlier not to kill vaati via the mirror. whoops, he lied! he went after vaati on purpose and planned that from the start! what a normal and mentally stable thing to do, shadow.

that ending was cut more because it ended up too close to canon, i'm pretty sure, and i wanted the final loop to be something more unique. shadow needed to do something different than his original ending to break out of the loop, so the full canon divergence had to happen.

shadow still died very briefly at the end of the final loop, when zelda had him throw a bomb full of triforce light at ganon, but at that point the goddesses were like "okay we'll call that having learned your lesson" and brought him back quickly enough that nobody realized he was gone. potentially including himself! i'm not sure that shadow ever consciously realized it was the goddesses farore, nayru, and din that put him in the time loop, but after it ended, he was just glad to be done with it and decided not to ask too many questions that could potentially make them change their minds haha.

re: the goddesses, i think the reason they took an interest in shadow to begin with (self-sacrificial death for the four sword heroes aside) is because shadow was created using the power of the triforce. he's one of theirs, sort of, at a sideways angle to how link and zelda and ganon are. close enough for them to meddle with, and idk maybe din was being extra salty at this incarnation of ganon for creating an entire sentient person and then treating him Like That. rip ganon for annoying his triforce piece's patron goddess, lol.

shadow was created from the dark mirror using the triforce of power as wielded by ganon, and my general headcanon is that shadow link literally did not exist until the events of the four swords manga when he is born from the dark mirror. he doesn't have link's memories, but he knows link's personality and remembers feelings/impressions/etc. and, since shadow was created with the triforce of power, he carries of sliver of it with him in a similar way to how each of the links carries pieces of the triforce of courage. part of the reason he's drawn to the links is because like calls to like. shadow was made in part from the triforce of power, but in the image of the bearer of the triforce of courage. the only part he's missing is wisdom, but at the end of his final loop, he does get caught in the blast of zelda's triforce power bomb, so… :3c

at the end of the fic, when shadow notes that he has the triforce on his hand, i left it deliberately vague about whether that was actually the full triforce or not. i don't remember if i had a clear answer in my head for this, but i suspect he shares pieces with the other links and zelda, bc i like the idea of them being all connected like that. regardless, what triforce piece(s) he has are what allowed him to sever his connection to the dark mirror and hang out in the sunlight without burning up like a vampire. he takes a lot of catnaps in sunbeams now that he doesn't have to worry about that haha.

anyway thank you so much for asking about Palinoia, it was really fun to go back and remember how much i enjoyed writing it. and i'm SUPER flattered that you read my fic to begin with!! i am so in love with your god of war time travel au, it lives rent-free in my head at any given moment.

thank you again!!! :D

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

[clatoera]

if the characters in arwbfb got tattoos, what would they be?

also would love to hear what songs from ttpd u thought fit the characters best!!

This is such an interesting question! In regards to tattoos I honestly don't imagine many of them. I feel like it's definitely not a D1 thing at all. Like absolutely none of them. Not Cash, Gloss, Glimmer, OR Marvel. That does not seem like their thing at all ESPECIALLY in D1. So I honestly do not think any of them would have tattoos at all in D1.

D2 I can see it a little more but personally I think they sort of would wear their like..games scars as something they're proud of in lieu of tattoos. Brutus may be into it. Enobaria might have like..a snake tattoo around her wrist or idk she feels like maybe linework ivy around her wrist but it's not major it's not large. Cato and Clove don't seem like they'd do it either, I think they'd either CARVE a C onto each other with a knife/blade of some sort, but if they had to go the tattoo route I think they'd literally just get a C of some sort in each other's writing somewhere on their body. Specifics on where are vague because it would depend but that seems like them maybe!

Finnick and Johanna may have tattoos. That feels like them more so!

Okay so I answered this in some depth on this post here so I'll list the ones here and you can use this link for the details because it was PAGES long. This is 1000% ARWBFB au DEPENDENT it HAS To be this au for these to make sense

Glimmer:

Down bad

I can do it with a broken heart  (one of my 2 fave songs)

Glimmer and Cashmere

The prophecy 

I hate it here

Cashmere

Clara Bow

But Daddy I love him (read for the explanation)

Clove

(CLATO specific) being Fresh Out the Slammer and I Can Fix Him (no really I can) Which I feel STRONGLY about

more clove alone is

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? (my other fave song)

So Long, london

The Albatross

Enobaria

The Bolter

Cassandra

I'll give you some bonus tho

Guilty as Sin?: This is soooo Clato i'm sorry. I had to say it. Because i'm so correct. It's specifically them pre his games at like 16 trying to be normal and not at all into each other. "What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh only in my mind?" I keep recalling things we never did, messy top lip kiss how I long for our trysts. Without ever touching his skin how can I be guilty as sin?" "Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head. If it's make believe why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?" This song is unbelievably feral, this a song for when you're in heat, it's an ovulation song it's literally horny I don't know how else to say it. "What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?" I literally could list the whole song and I wont but .yeah this is it sorry to defile everyone's eyes I'll have to tag this bc this is..yeah!!! Guilty as sin Clato NEXT

The Alchemy: Surprise it's also Clato!!! "Ditch the clowns, get the crown, baby i'm the one to beat. Cause the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me. Who are we to fight the alchemy?" "there was no chance, tryna be the greatest in the league. Where's the trophy, he's just comes running over to me." "This happens once every few lifetimes" Sorry!! IT's them!! I make the rules!!!

thanks friend!!!! This album is my new personality trait!!! So is this au!!!

[raeflora]

12 & 16 for the ask game!

hi lovely!! tysm for the asks these are so good 🫶🏻🫶🏻

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

ok so I don't think chuck is actually unpopular with the general public but I'm gonna say him!! I think people firstly need to understand that pilot chuck was awful yes but that was bc he was meant to just be a villain before they saw his chemistry with blair. after that I think people should like him bc he undergoes the best character development on the whole show and watching him is so satisfying. also he's so funny sksfhjksk

(also to revert to my girl meets world roots justice for jennifer bassett minkus I genuinely don't understand why there was so much hate for her she's a hot rich mother let her live!!)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterisation, trope, headcanon, etc)

mmm there's so many things I could say... for starters making characters that canonically aren't abusive (esp to their children) into utter monsters in fics. like number one why are u writing abuse fics in the first place but why are u using the LAST characters who would ever behave like that as some kind of trauma projection. like when dair fics make chuck an abusive dad to henry or abusive to blair when that's just completely at odds with his canon characterisation. it just makes me sick.

also I don't understand why people believe blair loves dan or wanted to raise her baby with him. she canonically didn't for either of them but there's this obsession with the idea of blair raising children with dan like guys he has his own child I haven't seen 1 fic about that but sure we need 20 dan raises henry headcanons. oh that's another point actually, this idea that blair would be happy living "simply" with dan. my girl's an elitist and proud she's not gonna become a little housewife while dan takes the kids to the park pls. they're from gossip girl if ur looking for something "normal" then ur in the wrong place.

also just one more that's not really fandom specific but I don't get why people like the student/teacher trope. it's never appealing to me and it's usually creepy imo no matter how small they make the age gap and especially if one of them's in high school. I just think it's kinda weird

[calumthoodshands]

2022 Writing Evaluation

ah well well well thank u to my dear friends @calumsash,@igarbagecannoteven and @burstingsunrise for tagging me! very intruiged to see what this year's one's gonna reveal.

numbers of stories posted on ao3: 11! therefore a bit more than 2021.

word count for this year: that's a bit tricky bc ao3 counts my unfinished fic into this year as a whole so imma have to calculate a bit... 88 k for the independent fics and 14 chapters which are abt... 50 k for Days in the sun. Ergo 138,000 words! Estimated.

fandoms i wrote for: 5SOS!

pairings: cake! but i do have some muke in the making. (somewhere in the far future.)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: (leaving dits aside) to my own surprise, the right shade of blue really seemed to resonate with a lot of people (shoutout to luke's makeup you really have power apparently), perfect fit has the most comments and of lovers and friends got bookmarked the most (it has the most hits from these three as well so it figures i guess)

work i'm most proud of: hmmmm. of lovers and friends is one of my angstier works and the one where i think i really conveyed what luke goes through quite well. a different story is perfect fit though. i love that one bc it's so simple and light but so effective. but also shoutout to molly's bday fic the hues of me and you bc i wanted to write that fic for so long and i do like how it turned out despite it being quite different from what i normally write

work i'm least proud of (and why): there's no work i'm not moderately proud of bc i rarely finish fics and only finish them when i really do like them if that makes sense? my biggest problem is still my writing style bc i'm not yet sure i like it. which is probably any writer's problem but especially with english being not my native language i just KNOW i lack a certain... confidence in what i write bc i know it could be better, and could have more flow, and be more natural than it is. i write fics with three translators open, looking up every third word trying to find the one that not only makes sense but also gives it... the right vibe. that's something that bothers me with any fic. this is also a problem with days in the sun bc i post it as i write, and i just know that if i waited to finish it and edited it as a whole and only then posted it i might have done some things differently, but on the other hand, i also know it wouldve never seen the light of day, so... you win some, you lose some.

share or describe a favourite review you received: oh my god okay right yeah. there've been several to be clear but i'll keep it short so. once upon a time team @4thbrighteststar read of lovers and friends (actually, more on that later) and i wasn't thinking abt it too much after it was posted but then. one day i got a message from team, and lo and behold. it was a song. a song that fit the fic. i was SCREAMING on the inside. absolutely screeching. TEAM WROTE THAT SONG AND THEN SENT IT TO ME ALL CASUAL LIKE THATS NOT INCREDIBLE. burned into my brain for all eternity. i could talk abt it much more but this is already getting so long so ILY TEAM THANK U ONCE MORE ILY

a time when writing was really, really hard: can i just say 2022? /hj no but in all honesty... i had a REALLY hard time last year. i had much less time than the year before, and when i did have time, i rarely could get myself to actually sit down and write. and on top of that there is of course not much engagement with my fics anyway so at times i was very discouraged, almost to the point that i wanted to stop writing... so, yeah. i try not to pressure myself as much this year, but we'll see, i guess.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: actually, a lot of my fics are products of 'i'm just the writer i don't control what happens'. one funnier case though is probably football player luke in the hues of me and you. i never thought to make luke a football player bc it sounds so cliché but... as you can see it happened! and i think that's okay. i think i wrote him well enough.

a favourite excerpt of your writing: there's the hardest questions of them all, ah yes. fine. i'll actually try this time. AH yes okay yk what i got one:

i put more humor than usual into only on thursdays and i really like its lighthearted vibe <3 this isn't necessary my favourite scene but i also can't remember anything i wrote ever so it'll do lol

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? did i? i have no idea. i think i'm getting more confident in my writing with every fic i write, which is good. i've been more determined to work on my fics in terms of editing them after finishing, which i've been lousy with.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? hm... i hope i'll grow more confident. i hope i'll become more satisfied with my work.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc.)?

@burstingsunrise it would be ridiculous not to mention molly although i technically don't even talk to her about my writing that explicitely. i do however constantly ask her dumb questions and always get a more or less serious answer, i can always come to her for advice or throwing around any and all ideas i ever get. she's also been a real cheerleader to me whenever i'm insecure abt my writing again which i really, really appreciate. on top of the usual amount of appreciation obviously

i also have to mention @the-girl-who-cried-wolf bc she's inspired me lots of times, be it with her moodboards and blog/aesthetic, her own writing or something else. also my biggest cheerleader, love u emma.

dearest team @4thbrighteststar for her support on of lovers and friends. the fic would've never been as good as it is without her.

lastly i have to mention @sophelkopter (/ @sophelkopter on ao3) bc i simply wouldn't have kept going with dits without their comments. eternal gratitude.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? oh yeah! for sure.

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? just keep writing. and write EVERYTHING DOWN. that's all i got but also the most important two rules

17. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i finally want to write MUKE and i want to write ballet cake and i'd love to write the stranger things au. most importantly, however: i will finish days in the sun this year. soon. no idea how soon, but soon, and just thinking about it makes me want to cry lol

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read: hm not sure who might've not done it already so this is pure guessing but i'd like to read something from @carouselstars and @the-girl-who-cried-wolf and then anyone else who would like to do this!

[khaleesiofalicante]

I haven't come here to SCREAM about the last couple of chapters, so I'm here to fix it!

An incomplete list of the things I loved about chapter 48:

EVERYTHING OMFG

Lmao no but seriously: the first part was so hard to read but so worth the wait!! I was clutching my phone without being able to look away because it was so we'll written and it broke my heart all over agai!

Max calling him for hours till he answered bc "They have always been equally obsessed with each other"😭😭

"What else to do but be consumed by Max Lightwood-Bane?" PLS SIR STOP I'M ALREADY CRYING

The whole fucking scene where David's tells Mallory she won't win because she doesn't have what it takes to love Max and telling her that whatever she does, he will undo and he will find his way back to him. I shit you not, I've read that part at least 7 times by now. I'M OBSSESED

The bit with the knife. IT MAKES SENSE NOW AND I WISH IT DIDN'T. GET THIS BABY A BREAK😭. Also now I understand why he wore the long-sleeved tshirts because it made AJ cry :)

I read that someone had a theory that Lance returned for his pink pony and that was why he was at the house and why David threw it away and I would like to personally congratulate them for guessing it tbh bc for me it clicked s second before jdhdkd

I love the way we see David's pain and his trauma from his POV as something he's still trying to understand and work around and how that pain only answers to him, so doing all this by himself was kinda necessary.

When Max asked him if he loved anyone else other than him, the answer seemed so simple. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

"I don't need a reason to love you. I never have. You existing is reason enough for me to love you." Stay with someone who loves you for the simple fact that you exist 💙

David moved forward at that. He didn't know how not to. I love how he thinks this or "How could he refuse?" "How could he say no to that?" "How could he deny when it was Max who asked?" In every universe because YES HE'S NEVER BEEN ABLE GO LET GO OF THIS MAN

The fact that David is always refered as "greedy" because he never has enough of Max is everything to me and in this essay I will-

The whole scene where David was touching Max HOLY FUCK IT WAS EVERYTHING I COULDN'T STOP READING IT AND AT THE SAME TIME I FEEL I MUST LOOK AWAY BECAUSE ITS SO INTIMATE!

AJ GOT THE ROLE!!! FUCK YES I'M SO PROUD OF MY BABY🥺🥺

The fucking white lilies tattoo😭 and the only blooming one being all around David's name. You really said I'm not done with flower symbolism and I love you for that💙

Arthur walking in on them and being like why yes this make sense they just had a heartfelt confession will be in my top ten favorite moments jdhsjsjsj

"Goodnight, mon ange" I'm in tears right now ok?!? It's the second time we've heard present David say it (the first one at the Maldives counts?) And it just turned into my favorite thing 🥺🥺🥺🥺

This was what it felt like to be alive. He had almost forgotten. David chuckled to himself and covered his mouth. HE FEELS ALIVE!! I AM BEING SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!

The wink at lbaf left me looking at my ceiling for like 15 minutes so I think that tells you everything you should know.

I loved everything about it. The way you give so much emotion and intensity to a chapter and the beautiful way you write it mean so much to me. Thank you for this wind story once again 💙

Thank you. I cri 🥺🥺🥺

Here is a song I listened to over and over when I wrote this chapter (especially when I wrote the flashback scene) - Indila - Tourner Dans Le Vide 

[gracethefoundfamilyfan]

ok ok ok i gotta rant a little bit

idk if im ace or aro or not and im cool w not knowing cuz i barely know anything about myself atm i just starting forming my own personality actively like a year and a half ago

BUT

i always assumed i would end up without a bf, out of all of my friends, bc my goals in a hypothetical relationship are to be best friends and borderline soulmates before even BREACHING the topic of romance. this is made easier by the fact that i have literally NEVER felt physical attraction towards anyone, and i'm a young adult, ok? everyone i know except for my aro friends have been in at least one relationship. not to say guys haven't tried!!! i've had two or three people ask me out, and i loved all of them-- just not in that way. my faith calls me to love all people unconditionally and deeply, to value and treasure them as a reflection of perfection and a deep, vast universe of experiences greater than i can begin to comprehend, and so, yes, i love people. my friends and i are very physically affectionate, and our conversations are deep and meaningful, and we show up for each other and care for each other and i think we love each other well. i try to extend that love to everyone i meet, no matter who they are. I love everyone, and i invite everyone to show love back! but not romance. i've never experienced that.

but lately something has felt different with this one specific guy. we've known each other for about seven years thru church. he's a year older than me, but he's so mature it feels like we live on different planets-- until this year, when we both applied to be summer interns at our church and got accepted. suddenly me and Mysterious Quiet Man are spending 30+ hours a week working side by side managing events, remodeling the children's room, leading projects, cooking meals, cleaning out closets-- and you know what? i'm so intimidated by this quiet stoic guy that I literally don't talk to him unless i have to. we work in companiable silence unless it's absolutely necessary for us to talk, because he's an introvert and idk how to do life. still, being in the same space teaches me a bit about him. He doesn't know as much as I think he does, it's just that he's so quiet I always assume he knows what's going on. He actually is capable of making mistakes-- he misspelled the name of the church on a pdf he sent for 50+ signs and had to fix it-- and he's really self-conscious about his art. we have a few artists in common when it comes to music taste. etc.

and then. AND FREAKING THEN. we go to church camp. Our one week off the whole summer, and we're both so in need of release that we turn into complete freaking idiots. AND! AND! WE ACTUALLY START TALKING!

he likes really deep, complex mystery books. he's terrified of graduating. he feels like he's leaving his life behind. he's going into trade school to be an electrician. he plays d&d. he thinks i'm an okay drummer. he loves swimming. his cousin drives him crazy but he would take a bullet for her, and if i tell her that i'm screwed. he does INCREDIBLE Renaissance fair costumes. his whole family is into music and he's grateful that he has people to teach him stuff. he's the most Band Kid in existence. he's super into coffee but hates how caffeine feels. Little people scare him. He loves hiking. He wishes he was more athletic, like his dad. he wants to write a book, but he doesn't know what yet. he's a good leader when he has to be. He hates raising his voice.

And he thinks I'm funny.

HE THINKS I'M FUNNY. In a dorky, kinda awkward way, sure, but good LORD I made him smile more than I've ever seen him smile at that camp (especially when he scared me and i did a full on backwards roll into my sister, that was fun), and I'm so freaking proud of myself for that.

still, all of this is normal for me! I love discovering new things about people! My respect and genuine appreciation for human beings grow when I begin to understand them, wow, that's how that works! That means nothing!

and then we lead the last four weeks of August Sunday school, and he helps me with my message when it feels like it's falling apart, and he gives me a little (awful) pep talk when I feel like I screwed up. He says I work better with kids than he ever could. I tell him you just have to treat them like really new adults. He crushes his next lesson.

and then we teach a bunch of kids science for a week. He helps me keep them in check, I help him not get too stressed over the details. the lady running the camp asks us to put together a crime scene for the kids to solve at the end of the week, with us as the culprits. we sign our names on secret plans, tear them up, scatter them around. we make it obvious that we leave right before the time of the crime so they'll suspect us. when he leaves, i make sure they notice, 'cause he's not quite loud enough. we scatter cookie crumbs around our chairs. we have not-so-quiet little conversations about the morality of stealing cookies with the other kids. We let the director chew us out for disappearing, and he asks if i'm ok when her Oscar-worthy performance actually scares me a little bit. the kids drag all the suspects into the hot seats. they examine our hands. a jury forms, and a police team-- i freaking love these kids, if i haven't made that clear, they're little geniuses when you actually let them use their imaginations. We get questioned. Our handwriting gets examined. So do our fingerprints. Then (my favorite part) we improv a whole story about how we're innocent, throwing shade at my sister and her stuffed sheep. Then we twist it on the director, bc she's the only one with access to the kitchen (not true btw). The kids see thru our lies, bc half of them have parents who've worked here to feed the homeless or make breakfast on Mother's Day or whatever. He yells at people. I yell at my sister. We put on a freaking awesome performance, and my energy bounces off of his-- we make a great team, and I haven't seen him this energetic ever. My sister makes a stupid joke, and he's so caught up in it that he laughs so hard he ends up on the floor. I buzz about that for the next hour.

Then, he gets incriminated. Playing my part, I pull the Among Us move and try to get him in the spotlight so I get voted innocent. They're about to take him away.

And then he grabs me by the shoulders, heaves me up, forces me in front of him, and says "IF I'M GETTING CAUGHT, SHE'S GOING DOWN WITH ME!" We get darn near tackles by a swarm of kids who are totally in-character-- one of them has even got the waterworks going, and he looks at me and says 'I trusted you, mom!'. I give my tearful apology, and then I wrench myself free (he never let go, that's kinda weird) and declare: "OKAY, FINE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT WE DID? DANIEL, YOU GAVE US AWAY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM"

cue four minutes of what my friend called 'old married couple arguing' over whose fault it was.

and then we reveal the ice cream sandwiches we supposedly made with the cookies we supposedly stole, and all of a sudden we're forgiven.

best afternoon ever spent.

slight caveat.

forty kids now ship me and him. one of them makes a little heart with our initials on it. he sees it. i don't get to see his reaction bc my sister almost drops a whole gatorade cooler worth of lemonade and i have to run over to help her.

and then, the internship is over. we don't see each other for another month. when we do, he's an adult staffer, and i'm still just an assistant. but he sticks around the youth stuff, since we don't have anyone who can play the lower bells on the youth handbell choir. i get a new little Padawan to teach in the ancient technique of making metal things go clang. I'm also lined up in the perfect way that I can see his eyes light up every single time we get a complicated polyrhythm right or finally manage to hit a key change without sounding like a horror film just started. i also get to see him bounce when our director tells him he can chaperone on our trip to the bell fest if he wants.

bell fest gets cancelled. the director gets us permission to use the church and host our own. guy in question is the first one to get there and the last one to leave, and i'm second. old internship habits die hard. or maybe we just care too much.

"It's not quite the same," he says when I ask, "but it's still really nice."

i think he thinks it's about the people, just like I do.

That's also when I notice we both have a little brown freckle in our eyes. His are ice blue, though, and they've got little patterns in them. I was only looking to make sure he was telling the truth.

we host a local mission trip, and i get to see him chase the goof of the group around trying to get his weedwhacker back. two nights later, I'm trying to get said goof off my drum set ten minutes before a performance so we can do our final soundcheck and Guy stares him right off the stage, and then gets all of us waters and me a pad so my stupid kick will stop sliding around. I hadn't even thought to ask.

now it's two months later, and our church is fracturing. we've gone a year and a few months without a pastor, and people are getting tired of it. Everyone's doing a little more than they can handle trying to fill the wake our old (retired) pastor left behind. there's spiritual warfare. the guy the pastor search committee brought in tried to convince us half of our Bible was fake. people are getting hit right in their weak spots, and people are scared, and everyone's getting hurt and tired and there's talk of giving up.

we hold a conference to air out our feelings. anything can be said. on mic. and it won't be held against us. we need to get messy, get empty, hug it out, and start fresh with all this petty crap behind us. we listen to person after person air out their fears, frustrations, angers, hurts, etc, and towards the end I get up and take the mic.

"I wasn't gonna say anything." I say. "I don't even technically belong here, because I'm not a member. I have no business telling anyone anything. But I think I have to say this. I know life sucks, and everything about our situation sucks, but you know what? I'm so proud of all of you. Most of the churches I know would've fallen apart by now. I've seen it happen. What you have here, this commitment, this vulnerability-- it's special. It's real. It's what God commands us to strive for, and it's something the world desperately needs more of. So please, don't stop. I know it sucks. But for the love of God, please keep fighting for each other, because none of us can afford to lose another family."

i sit down. my sister wouldn't come. she said it's not worth it. she thinks people hate her. she still (as of me writing this) won't tell me why.

after it's over, we sing. we sing of God's unending grace and mercy and we sing of trust and new beginnings and we pray for strength and unity and love that not even human hearts can create. and in the shadows of the dimly lit chapel, i think i see it. people of all ages and races, mostly in pajamas, a few unlucky ones still in their work clothes, hugging and talking and praying over one another when hours ago there had been coldness and anger. i walk over to his cousin, who spoke after me and begged the people to fight for us, so that we could have a place like this to go to when we have nowhere else to go. i think they listened to her. she really can't lose more family. I hug her. She's crying. I hug her aunt. She's crying too. Guy comes up. He thanks me for saying what I said. "I was disappointed, before," he says, "but now I can see what you mean. I wish I'd gone up too. You're right. We need to fight for this."

"What would you have said?" I ask. "If you'd gone up."

He says he had ideas, perfect speeches that would open eyes and turn hearts. He says that's not the way the world works, though, and he didn't feel like he had anything to add.

"I think it would've been great." I say. "Even if it's not perfect, it's still worth saying."

then the director comes over. He's gotten the short end of the Responsibility stick, and apparently what me and Cousin said got to him, because he hugs both of us and thanks us for telling him that the community he's given his life to is actually helping people. then he hugs Guy, too, and Guy hugs him back tight and scrunches his eyes closed, like he's holding on just in case he doesn't get another chance. and here he said he wasn't a hugger.

then we all go get dinner, and i see him laughing with his mom. there's a softness to him, and a light in his eyes that i rarely get to see. i'm almost jealous, that that wonderful side of him only really comes out with her.

it's been a couple weeks, and i still can't get that image of him out of my head. it's weird. part of me thinks i'm really into cracking people and getting to see who they are on the inside and why they do what they do and who they are, and I totally am, but usually that goes away after a couple weeks. it's been six months. maybe it's just because there's still so much i don't know about him? maybe because he's a music guy and i'm a music girl and i desperately need more friends who share that part of themselves with me? maybe it's because we've known each other for seven years but i'm about to leave for college and i'm desperate not to waste any more time? Maybe our souls just click.

point is, i have no freaking idea what romance is supposed to feel like and i love everyone a little too easily and i don't have physical attraction sensors so i can't tell if i'm really into him as a person or as a potential partner but it doesn't freaking matter because i'm leaving in like seven months anyways and i'm going to be hours away and I am not getting into a relationship right now. period.

BUT IM STILL UP AT TWO AM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT SO SEND HELP

[masschase]

“#gooh is in my top 5 “i question writing this into my hc” things gonna be honest” i would honestly LOVE to know what things you hesitate to include in your canon? one thing i really love and respect about your work is your dedication to sticking to the actual canon so i’m super curious to hear what things you actually don’t consider part of it. or at least the ones you go back and forth on.

OK firstly, thank you, that means a lot to me 😊

There probably isn't anything that isn't a part of it at all unless I forgot about it which does happen pretty often! Things I go back and forth on is definitely the best description of it.  Like, almost all have led me to write some moments I really like and yeah I am proud of making the canon (at least the bits I didn't forget!) fit, but I feel like when I started writing I didn't even think about just *not* sticking to canon. This list is not ordered or exhaustive, it's just the stuff I could think of off the top of my head.

1. GOOH. This is actually a kind of minor one, bc the pros outweigh the cons massively but it's been on my mind today bc of the chapter I've been writing.

Pros: a very sweet Matt/Boss moment and Matt/Boss/Johnny friendship moment after they return from hell, throwing in Jezebel as a character, and obviously the new planet ending is sort of essential to my "they tried to save the earth but couldn't so now they need somewhere new" thing. Plenty of smaller jokes and again some other good parts that factor in.

Cons: so this is actually stuff that just canonises monotheistic religious views that my characters wouldn't normally hold that makes me feel... weird... idk. I feel like they have enough time between GOOH and my fanfic to process that but I was thinking about it today and it bothered me. GOOH also canonizes Matt and Asha sleeping together in some capacity... ok that's not so bad, it adds some depth to the storyline and stops them having unresolved sexual/romantic tension as implied in SRIV. But at times I worry I'm portraying one or both of them as pretty dickish.

2. All SRIV romance options

Pros: I mean, Casey probably would fuck all her friends if it was the only option. And I hc SRIV as taking place over 2-3 months. After that time-travel ONSs were an option. And her whole one time rule has its place in the plot.

Cons: Kind of forces everyone into bi/pan/other mspec apart from Ben and Keith. I would have highly considered making Pierce gay. Maybe Asha would've got thrown token straight lol. Plus who says everyone (again, except Ben, who... seemed like he would say yes to whatever she was about to ask... and Keith) would fuck her? Seems a tad Mary-Sueish. 🤔 Also doesn't gel well with her and Johnny having a primarily brother/sister relationship but I think I've mostly explained that with her having a false romantic epiphany and the fact that he struggles to connect 'hot 30ishyo woman who I massively respect' with 'that kid i knew back in Stilwater' after the 6 year gap. Plus... romance options aren't really true canon, I definitely could have left some out! But considering I did use them all, I could've said better things about the Casey/Pierce time bc that was a culmination of a lot of UST.

3. Cyrus Temple plastic surgery disguise thing.

Pros: definitive 'end date' for Casey getting plastic surgery for scars etc.; it put her off. One amusing joke.

Cons: Idk I just hate it hate it hate it. I think because a lot of game mechanics are easily explainable e.g. forgive&forget and notoriety wipe being bribes, an advanced alien race COULD have time travel etc. whereas this is something that's pretty batshit by SR3 standards but mostly at the expense of like two moments I COULD'VE JUST NOT MENTIONED IT. So if this list was in order I suspect this would be #1 😂

4. The destruction of Earth; or more specifically that they don't/can't undo the destruction of Earth despite having time travel.

Pros: I mean it's inkeeping with the Saints for me. Some people do just die and don't come back. The idea that the new planet thing is moving on from something irretrievable. A new beginning.

Cons: It just feels like a cop out using the 'oh they have time travel but can't use it to save the world bc that's a paradox' thing?

5. Matt and Casey's age gap.

Pros: The millenial/zoomer dynamic, parallels being drawn i.e. joining/creating gangs at 15, Casey being 24 when they met and Matt being 24 when the story begins. I guess relationships where the woman is older are also underepresented compared to the reverse, and being able to give Matt a "coma years don't count" line.

Cons: Idk just on a personal level obviously I'd just prefer them NOT to have a 7.5 year gap. I make it clear that she wasn't ever attracted to him until he was 22 and that the spaceship changes things in terms of life stages but still.

Bonus of some things that were my own decision that I go back and forth on: the name Casey Clark at times (there is a whole thing of 'bc she is secretly a nerd like Matt/Kinzie but she's an analog nerd' but still), Matt being (at least based on his own history) heteroromantic (ok supports split model of attraction but at the same time... Matt to me reads as a canonically bisexual character which we don't often get, why not make him bi/panromantic too?), Casey and Johnny's brother/sister thing in general (idk if that was trying too hard to make them platonic bc generally I rather like GatBoss), writing in accents, not giving enough focus to the secondary pairings esp the more visibly queer ones all bc I originally wanted to keep secondary pairings up in the air for the reader, Casey's SR3 look at times, POSTING HER NAME ALL OVER FUCKING TUMBLR. I could go on 😅

This all seems more negative than I'm meaning it to be bc I put pros first. I love working in the canon and the way plot points have blossomed from it. In fact I put something at the end of my last chapter about how things for this often just fall into place and just leave me 😲.

I will probably make a second list at some point when I think of more 😅

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

Imagine: Joe realizing he’s falling in love with you, but quickly finds himself in serious denial...

(NOTE: This takes place in the same universe as my Valentine’s Day, 1983 fic ((AKA- this story takes place 3 years after that)). I recommend reading that before or after you read this, it doesn’t really matter when.)

Internal conflict, anyone...?

-----

(June, 1986)

A hot evening in Paris met you both once your afternoon together came to an end. You and Joe had spent the day at each other's sides (being as you both really wanted to go out and about, but neither of you wanted to do it alone), and were now about to get settled into the hotel room you rented at the last second. Yes, you were staying with Steve and Phil in their apartments for a weekend visit, but after careful consideration, the impulsive decision to stay on the opposite side of the city for the night prevailed. Since you knew you could, you decided you would. Besides, 6pm and trying to fight your way across Paris seemed like a bad idea. 

"It's like an exclusive sleepover," you teased as you trotted through the door into the lightly colored room, "Ooh, and it's so nice in here too! There's a great view of the pool down below, so that's definitely exclusive."

"Exclusive?" Joe laughed as he entered with all the shopping bags the two of you acquired throughout the day, "Yeah, I can get behind that- 'a luxurious and exclusive sleepover'. 'Specially with all the loot we've gathered.”

He held up the bags with a grin and set them down against the wall. "'Specially with the sense of fashion we've gathered," you turned the new, ribboned sunhat you were wearing.

He pointed and nagged, "You mean the sense of fashion I gathered for you?" "Oh please- I found the hat." "But I paid for it!" You made your way to the balcony doors and opened them, letting a cooled breeze blow your long, thin shawl forward, "And I thank you immensely for that, but you didn't have to! You were just being nice!" Joe slid onto the closest bed and warned, "It was calling out your name, Y/N. I couldn't just let you walk out of there without it! It probably would've followed us out of there if we didn't get it." "Now you see why I suggested you get those knee-highs?" you sat on the other bed with a bounce, "I thought the leopard print was only fitting for Leppard's lead singer." "And the stitched-in glitter? Was that 'only fitting' too?" An inhale sounded from you, but you passed it off with a huff of laughter, "Yes- of course it was! Tacky is totally you." Joe flopped onto his back and laughed out loud; it was all he could think to do. For the whole day, he felt different around you, like there was some sort of strange tension between you both. He didn't think of it as a negative feeling, but more of an awkward feeling than anything. He felt almost like a kid trying to act cool around a role model. And while you didn't notice it, Joe knew he had trouble forming correct sentences whenever you were around that day, and also felt the invisible pressure of your presence. He didn't know what to think of it; this feeling was out of his control. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was trying to impress you. Whatever part of his subconscious was making him feel strange around you, he didn't want. He just did his best to ignore it. "I just like colour, and so do you," came his defense (along with a pair of fanned-out hands), "Tacky or not, colour's just my way to go." You got up with a scoff, and made your way over to the shopping bags. As you pulled out a new tape player you recently bought, you requested, "Just shut up and pick a tape. A nice room needs some nice tunes- and there's no way for you to be tacky with that." "Don't test me." he warned with an evil smirk. Next, you pulled out a small stack of tapes you bought, "C'mon, dude, I've always trusted you with the music picks- don't blow it! Now, I think I might have a mix or two in my purse, but you've got mainly these to choose from." Joe rolled over onto his stomach and gazed down at the array of tapes you scattered on the floor. He scrunched up his face in playful thought and concluded, "Well, these are all brand new- but I don't think you should break in a new player with a new tape. You gotta go old-fashioned, so I say pop in whatever mix you find first." With an approving nod, you took off your hat, plopped it on the floor, and ran a hand through your hair to fluff it out a bit. You reached for your purse to drag it over and let your fingers scan around the inside until you came across the tape in question. "What's this one called?" he asked once the tape was in sight. " 'Same Old Tunes', since it's just the same songs I always wanna hear- but just a warning, you might hear yourself on this." He wanted to look annoyed, but came off looking flattered instead. After you got the batteries and the tape inside the player, you pressed play and let the solid beat flow from the new speakers. Joe's eyes lit up upon hearing the song, "Eddie Money? I expected no less from you." "Please, the Money Man always seems to find his way on there somehow," you pointed at the player. Not a second later, what sounded like two loud, separate, but consistent knocks sounded off from the other side of the room's door.

"Come in?" both you and Joe answered confusedly.

The door swung open, and Steve and Phil burst inside. Both ecstatic, they immediately started rambling off to you. "Y/N we need you!" Phil sputtered first. "We need you downstairs right now!" Steve urged next. You turned to them, still sitting on your knees, and put your hands up, "Woah, woah, hold on- what are you two doing here?" Joe didn't even move a muscle, as if he were used to this kind of thing. He added onto your interrogation, "Yeah, and how did you know we were here? We were just about to call you and-" "Oh we got out and about; you two are easy to spot and follow," Phil shrugged, pushing the dilemma aside, "Now Y/N, we need you to do us a favor right now-" "Why though?" Steve butted in, "And we need you to do this for us with no questions asked. Alright? It's for a bet, we'll tell you that much, but there needs to be no questions from you. What we need you to do is we need you to walk downstairs with us, go out to the pool, and just jump in without a word." Phil cut him off and held up a finger, "And we need you to pretend you don't know us." Now utterly perplexed, you turned around and exchanged a look with Joe on the bed. He had nothing to say, but he did raise his eyebrows, pout, and shrug; the traditional expression and gesture of "might as well". You looked back at the Twins and sighed, "Guess this outfit's safe to dunk... okay, okay, let's go." They both quietly cheered as you stood up, and as Joe broke down laughing, rolling onto his back. "Don't move until I get back!" is what you laughed at him as you threw all your change out of your pockets. You slipped your shawl off your shoulders, bunched it up, and threw it at Joe (who caught it with one hand). "I'll be watching!" he called out just before the door shut. Just like that, he was alone- and alone with the music, no less. "Got so high we had to pull to the side, we did some shakin' 'til the middle of the night!" He sat himself up, sitting cross-legged, and gazed down at your shawl which he held in both of his hands. At this point, he realized his heart was pounding. The feeling of it confused him; it was the same sensation he experienced all day around you- the same sensation he felt when you took off your hat and ruffled up your hair, and the same sensation he felt when you took off your shawl and threw it at him. Again, though, he tried to ignore it, and stood up to watch you fulfill the dare Steve and Phil put you up to. He took slow steps outside onto the balcony, walking among the hat and the tapes you left on the floor. "I got a little nervous..." That's what this feeling was- nervousness. Why was he feeling so damn nervous around you all of a sudden? "She took her coat off..." The image of you taking your shawl off came to him suddenly, then it turned into the image of you taking your hat off as well. He saw the tan and white woven stripes being lifted up, the red ribbon flopping, your hair falling down as the pre-sunset sunlight beamed on you in an almost heavenly way, and your hand going up and messing up your locks just the right amount; it was all he could see. In his eyes, the sight of you was something like an earworm he couldn't tune out. "She looked so pretty..." Then, you were throwing your shawl at him again, and his mind repeated the song's line without thinking twice. "She looked so pretty..." Immediately, he caught himself, and time slowed down. "Wait, wait, did I just call Y/N pretty?" his conscience nagged him. "I'm always talkin', baby, talkin' too much-" Joe looked out at the city bathed in the sunset. Everything was so slowed down and still for the first time that day, and his mind was now vulnerable. Right then and there, his thoughts started to tangle him in their own sort of intrusive web, and he tried to get out of it like his life depended on it. "That's why you bought her the hat," one voice said, "You thought she looked so pretty in it." It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it persisted. He questioned it and tried to reason with it. "Do I think Y/N's pretty? Is that why I'm nervous around her?" Another voice in his head droned on, "Duh, of course she's pretty, but it's just a platonic feeling. She is good-looking; gorgeous, even-" His heart dropped into his stomach at the word "gorgeous"- it also wasn't what he wanted to hear. He was only making it worse. So then why was he thinking it to begin with? Again, though, Joe shook away the feeling altogether; he spotted Steve and Phil out on the pool patio several floors below, and they met up with two other guys he'd never seen before. The singer smiled to himself, wanting to see if all went according to plan. Sure enough, a few seconds later, he saw you walk outside, pick up speed, and then jump right into the water without hesitation.

Joe let himself laugh as the Terror Twins cheered, and as you popped to the surface of the water. You looked up at him from far below and waved, sporting a big grin. Joe waved back as well, almost in a daze, then got sucked back into the web. "See, that right there; why are you so fucking nervous around her all of a sudden? It's not like we've got any romantic tension with each other!" Down below, Steve and Phil pulled you out of the pool, and you each gave them a sopping wet hug. Your laughter and their cheers of triumph echoed up to the balcony, and the acoustics of it all prickled a latent memory of Joe's. It was a memory of a different hotel, also in France, but with a certain song playing in the distance. The faint memory gave him the heart-pounding feeling as well; it had to be associated with you. He gasped to himself, and suddenly the full memory flooded back to him. "We kissed-!" he thought. "Valentine's Day, three years ago, we KISSED- how the hell could I forget something like that?!" The fact reached his mouth, and he very quietly repeated it to himself out loud, in denial, "I kissed Y/N..." He couldn't believe himself, but he liked the sound of the sentence. He hated that he liked the sound of it. It was almost like a sudden dream come true. "Kissing Y/N was never a dream of mine though, was it? No, no, it couldnt've been..." But then again, he recalled enjoying the kiss. He thought about it a lot the next day, and the next day after that. After the next next day, however, he just let it go. Why make trouble over something that would just ruin a good friendship? There was no use being hung up on it if he didn't have any feelings for you. "I love that little girl, and I just can't get enough." Again, his mind repeated the song without thinking twice. "I love that little girl, and I just can't get enough." Finally, his mind delivered the killing blow. He froze, and let it hit him. "Wait, am I in love with Y/N...?" For that second- that very long second- reality was put on hold. Joe remained frozen, and gazed off at the sight of Paris before him. The evening wind blew his hair back as it picked up some speed, and he shivered in the heat. If he thought that same thing at any other time that day, he would've dismissed it immediately. However, it seemed to hit him rather hard right then and there. He just couldn't understand why. It was only making the web pull him in more. "Is that what I was feeling all day...?" At that moment, Joe realized that the only way out of this web was to consult the others for advice. However, he knew he couldn't. Yes, they were closer than brothers to him, but you were also practically one of those brothers. Whatever he was feeling, he knew he shouldn't be feeling it about a fellow brother. This was the last thing he could tell anyone, and he knew it instantly. It was nothing but a mistake in the making. Despite that, he still tried to picture what everyone else would say to him. Maybe doing so, he liked to think, would help himself get untangled. Suddenly, Rick appeared next to him, and he asked, "Why are you thinking about Y/N so much right now?" "I'm not trying to!" Joe pictured himself being defensive right off the bat, "I did spend the whole day with her..." The vision of the drummer scoffed at him, "Hate to break it to you, mate, but you spend almost every day with her. Why is today the day that you're all tongue-tied?" "The hell if I know, but it's not like she's the only thing on my mind..." And with that, you were suddenly taking off your hat and ruffling your hair again, and then you were throwing your shawl at him and trotting out the door, and then you were sitting with all the tapes, and the sun was shining on you from the balcony. You were the only thing on his mind. "You want to be what's on her mind, though," Sav suddenly chimed in, taking a seat on the bed, "Because you just can't spend enough time with her. You're always looking forward to being with her." Rick pointed out, "And oh boy, did you soak up all the Y/N time today." Sav leaned back and chuckled at the comment, "You really did, yeah." As Joe looked between both of them, he didn't know what to say. Instead, he let his eyes drift over to the television. He blinked, and suddenly it was on, and you were on its screen, going through a stack of tapes you might buy. Rick walked over to it, changed the channel, now making it display you looking out at the Seine. He pressed it again, and then you were taking a picture of the singer at a crosswalk. Again, and you were trying on the red-ribboned hat in the accessories shop. "Every moment from today that you're remembering," the bassist went on, softer this time, "Is a moment where you thought she looked pretty, right? Those were times where you just wanted to look at her. You do realize you could've looked at her all day, right?" "Yeah... but I did..." And he did.  He couldn't deny. "It takes a lonely night with nowhere to go..." Joe turned back to the outside, and Steve was next to him on the balcony now. He beckoned him to watch the scene on the patio more, "And look at her down there, making a good time happen with us. Times like these always happen when she's around, right? Don't you want times like these to last? You know that's only possible if she sticks around- and I mean for a long time." "Just call Rosanna, it's a hell of a show!" "Yeah... yeah, that's true..." Joe sighed. Steve leaned on the railing, teasing him, "So you admit you want her around all the time?" Joe scoffed at the guitarist who wasn't there, "Well, yeah, of course I do- she's wonderful! You like her too! We all do! It's not like I'm totally engrossed by her." When he turned around and began to walk inside, he looked up, and Phil was suddenly in front of him. "Then why are you still holding her shawl?" Joe looked down at the garment in his grasp, and his heart sped up again- as if he were holding part you in his hands. He hadn't been aware that he was still holding it, but he couldn't let it go. He was stuck, and didn't know what to do with it. He looked up, desperate for more advice, but his band mates were gone. "Shit," he breathed, fixing his gaze on the bunched-up fabric.

He slowly returned to the bed, and laid himself back down. His fingers were still tangled in your shawl, and he stared blankly ahead at the ceiling. Now, he was at a loss. Sav appeared out of thin air again, and looked down at him, "Calm down, mate. You've just got a crush- it's nothing big!" "If it's just a crush..." Joe tried to tell him, hating the word of choice, "Then why is it so... paralyzing?" Sav straightened himself up and bit his lip, "Oh, that is a good point..." Then Sav was gone, and a new song was playing. "I do recall, those were the best times most of all..." Rick was back as well. "It's just a phase- you won't feel like this next week. Just wait it out, you know?" "I've been feeling like this for weeks, Rick," Joe spoke up to the ceiling, "Maybe even months. I never knew it until now but- this nervousness, or whatever it is, it's been sticking around for a while. How long until it passes?" "In the heat with a blue jean girl, burning love comes once in a lifetime..." The drummer sighed and stood up, "Oh god, I can't tell you that..." Then Rick was gone, and Steve and Phil were on either side of the bed. Steve talked to him first, "If you're this paranoid of being in love with her-" "Don't say that, mate!" Phil playfully barked at him, then leaned in close to whisper, "Joe doesn't like that word-!" "What- 'love'? Well he better get used to it, because that's what it's looking like to me." Joe covered his face with a hand, and kept the other on your shawl. Steve went on, "Anyway, if you're this paranoid, how the hell are you gonna survive the night with her here?" Phil made a small gasping noise, and looked down at Joe, "Oh my god, is that why you suggested getting a hotel for the night? You thought that that Valentine's Day kiss would have a part two?" "No! No- I agreed with her- I wasn't the one who suggested it!" "Then that's why you agreed. It was just an opportunity to spend more time with her," Phil reasoned. "Okay, look," Joe sat up, and turned to Steve, "Maybe you were right in saying I want her around more often, and maybe I do think about her a lot, but I don't care about any of that right now. All I want is to define this feeling as something that's not serious. I just wanna hear that it's not real, and I want to believe that. I want to be satisfied with that. Okay?" The Terror Twins fell silent and exchanged looks with each other. They really had no other choice but to tell him. Steve patted Joe's shoulder and said, "But we're you, and we've told you a bunch of times that it's not real. You're still not satisfied. Maybe you better listen to that." Then the younger of the two guitarists was gone. Joe stared at the empty space in front of him, and laid back down with a sigh of resignation. At this point, Phil got up and stood at the foot of the bed. "I think you're gonna have to be on your own for this one, mate." "Yeah, thanks for that." He attempted to get through to the singer, "But why is the thought of this scaring you so much if it's not true?" Joe didn't want to answer anymore; he'd had just about enough and was ready to accept defeat. His silence didn't stop his friend's voice from continuing, however. "Oh... you're scared that it's becoming true..." Joe met him with more silence. "And you know that you can't love her, cos she's part of the crew. You think you shouldn't love her, cos' it's 'not right'..." A breeze blew through the room again as Joe continued to stare at the mirage of the guitarist with quiet annoyance. "You and Y/N have just been 'a little bit more than work pals' for a few years- and you're afraid anything else would just be... wrong..." Joe's head tilted towards Phil, eyes creating a dark, fed-up expression, "Laying out the facts for me isn't helping at all." "Well, then... I've got a proposal," Phil clapped his hands and pointed at him. He took a few slow steps towards the bed, and sat on the end of it. "You do?" Joe sat up, looking hopeful, as if he might finally have a way out of this mess. "I don't think you're in love with Y/N." Joe's eyes lit up, and he gaped at his friend's sudden conclusion, "You don't?" "No, no, of course not," Phil shook his head, "Too rushed." "Oh, thank god. What a relief..." Joe closed his eyes and laid back down. Just like that, the web was gone, and he could go on with life normally as if this had never happened. Those words were all he needed to hear. "'Too rushed'-" Joe thought to himself, "How simple a phrase, yet the relief it provides is overwhelming. Can't believe I didn't think of that sooner!" Just when he thought he was in the clear, he realized Phil was still there, staring at him. "You're not off the hook so easy, Joe." he frowned. Joe scoffed at him, "Why not? You gave me what I needed- you can pop away now!" Phil gave him a smile of sympathy- the slight smile someone puts on before telling bad news. That was all it took to make Joe's heart leap again. "You aren't in love with her, but wow- are you falling pretty hard." Then Phil was gone, and Joe was alone with the music again. "Those summer nights are callin', stone in love..." Then that was it. That was his death sentence: not in love, but falling pretty hard. Somehow, that was even worse than being fully in love with you. Joe was still laying motionless on the bed with your shawl long after Phil had disappeared. His own words kept repeating themselves over and over again in his mind. Each thought was another seed that branched off and formed new interpretations of the same, fatal conclusion. "I'm falling in love..." was what it always came to, though. "I'm falling in love... with Y/N." He didn't want to be thinking this- he knew it wasn't right at all. Being a lover- your lover- wasn't supposed to sound comforting to him at all. Maybe it felt inevitable, but it also felt wrong in some way. He knew he shouldn't let things come to this- but he couldn't help it. If he was falling, that didn't necessarily mean he was going to land. That's what made it scarier. How long would he be stuck like this for? He'd rather bury it deep in his mind and just forget he ever thought of any of it. And yet, it was all he could see when he closed his eyes; the thought of being with you. It drove him mad. "She looked so pretty..." one corner of his mind said freely again, now that all the damage was done and he could think with ease. It kept replaying over and over again in his head; all of it- all of the moments from that day that he loved. It started with you smiling at him, you taking your hat off, you ruffling up your hair as the curtains blew behind you, you looking out at the city, you smiling, you taking your hat off, you ruffling up your hair as the curtains blew behind you, you smiling- And then the door to the room suddenly opened, and Joe was brought back to reality. Time sped up to its normal speed again, and his eyes snapped out of their closed state. You were now in the doorway, and soaking wet with a towel around your shoulders. Joe sat up without even thinking, dropping your shawl on the floor in the process. Just like that, all was back to normal. "Well that was unexpected!" you laughed, walking over to him with excitement, "But it did us a lot of good-!" He watched as you revealed a bottle of wine (very expensive wine- if that) from underneath your towel, and held it out for him to take. Joe, still not having said a word, took the bottle, his jaw dropping as he stared at it. "How the hell did you-?" "It was part of the bet that those two idiots made- they gave me part of their share," you told him, smiling proudly. "What kind of bet involved you- specifically you- jumping into the pool fully clothed?" "Oh, I'll tell you in a bit- I'd rather get dried first," you began to dry off your hair and walk into the bathroom, "They ran the story by me real quick as we walked down there. It involves two idiots that aren't Steve or Phil, a golf ball, a lot of alcohol, and ten strangers." "Sounds like a normal day for them if you ask me." You laughed, "Oh, believe me, it's not the worst thing they've ever done. And they're not gonna skin us alive for flaking out on them for the night- so I call that a win." Joe glanced at the bottle in his hands again and chuckled, "So now what do we do with this?" "We drink?" came your reply. "Sounds good enough to me- but what are those two doing now? Are we gonna run into them at all or...?" You walked back out, holding a hair dryer in your hands, "I don't think so, but we may have to bail them out of jail tonight. I already told them we've never seen them before in our lives." "Good call- but I still wanna hear this bet story-!" You rolled your eyes, put the hair dryer down, and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. You threw it on your own bed and sat down, ready to tell him the tale as your tape kept playing on. "Golden girl, I'll keep you forever..." "So earlier today, those two went to a bar, and a golf ball bounced up and landed in Phil's drink..." As you started off with the recounting of events, Joe took in the entire sight of you. He paid attention to every detail of your face, your voice, your hair- everything. As he did so, he could still hear the words he imagined Phil taunting him with: "But wow- are you falling pretty hard..." And maybe he was, but with you in front of him right then and there, he felt perfectly content with that. If that was the case, he figured he had no choice but to ride it out and watch it happen. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. You seemed happy with the way things were, so things could only get better, right? Either way, Joe was falling in love, and he knew he'd let himself fall until he hit rock bottom. "Can't help myself, I'm falling stone in love."

---- “Shakin” by Eddie Money “Stone In Love” by Journey (x)

[littlepadika]

Hi could I possibly please request a dadddy max with little reader where the reader has bipolar disorder? Bc I have been recently been diagnosed with it and I feel quite embarrassed about it. Thanks and I think ur blog is really cool :)

aww bb i'm glad you like it. Honestly i was scared to write for this bc i don't want to assume what BPD is like or tell you how to feel. I'm sure it feels isolating and embarrassing but hopefully a diagnosis means you're one step closer to healing. stay strong! i'm proud of you 🥰 . Here's what daddy max (and me via max) would say to you...

Warnings: DDLG, discussion of mental health, comfort

He drives you home after the appointment where you were formally diagnosed. He spends several minutes trying to think of what to say while you sit quietly in the passenger seat, taking it all in. He was frustrated because it was his job, as your daddy, to protect you and care for you. But how could he fight something in your head? There was no bottle, stuffie, cuddle, or joke that would make this magically better.

"Pumpkin?" He reaches over and rubs your thigh.

"Ya." You answer quietly.

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know." You shrug, not able to name the pit in your stomach. You got clarity finally but it wasn't making you feel better.

"Are you scared?" He looked at you before turning back to the road. you didn't look scared you just looked-

"No." You struggle to find the words. "I feel like- like- ugh I don't know how to call it, daddy."

"Is it between sad and happy?"

"Yeah." you bit your lip. "I just- I jus wanna be normal!"

Max felt a pang in his chest. "I know..." He paused thinking of what to say next. Normally he might make a joke or tickle you to diffuse the tension but that wouldn't be right. He could go on and on about how special you were and how normal was overrated but that's not what you were looking for right now.

He pulled into the driveway at home.

"Pumpkin, did you know daddy also wishes to be normal sometimes?" He turned off the car and gave you his full attention.

"What?" You perk up, turning your body to him. Max was always so confident and charismatic, you never saw him as having insecurities. He was your big strong daddy!

"Yeah." Max shrugged, smiling at you weakly. "I sometimes wish I was human so that you wouldn't be held back by me. I know it's silly but sometimes I feel like I don't belong." He winced thinking of all the days he couldn't play with you because it was a bit too sunny. The moods he got into when he needed to feed.

"But I wuv you. Don't want you to change, daddy." You take his hand and press it against your cheek.

"I know." Max's eyes soften. "But that doesn't stop me from feeling that way sometimes. There's just some situations I am very aware that I don't fit in. I feel like everyone is judging me. Is that kind of how you feel right now?"

"Mhm." You nod.

"Whenever I feel like that I think of you, baby, you never ever judge me and you remind me every day that I am still lovable." He leaned over and kissed your forehead. "I'm going to be there to do the same for you, pumpkin. Every day, every minute if I have to."

You chew your lip, feeling hot tears on the corners of your eyes. His words addressed at your biggest fear. You wanted your mental health to change but you didn't want your whole world to change, especially with Max. Would he still love you if you changed in the healing process?

"So you'll-" You sniffle "Will you still love me when I'm better, daddy?"

"Of course, sweetheart." Max smiled widely, almost amused by your silly thinking. "I want you to be happy and feel more in control of your life. The fact you're taking this big scary step makes me love you more. Because you are so brave. I'm so proud of you, pumpkin!"

You throw your arms around him, climbing into his lap on the drivers side. "I love you daddy." You cry, feeling relief now wash over you. It was going to be a hard journey for sure but you had the person you loved most by your side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

daddy masterlist

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[olderthannetfic]

Hello! I've been reading through your asks about friendships and I have a question I'm not sure how to phrase so it could get lengthy (sorry). I guess I'm gonna start by saying that my online fannish presence and my real life are completely separated. I'm not from the US and I'm not that young anymore, so this habit formed as to keep myself 'safe'. (It's seen as weird here, let's just say that.) And I keep my online presence anon as much as I can too. When you make friends online, you already click through something in common right? Fandom or show or anything and take it from there, see each other's accounts or whatever, no questions there.

Thing is, I make friends better face to face but I'm not sure how people just... tell someone about fandom stuff? Being a fan is easy-peasy, you wear some merch or meet through a fan event, whatever. What I mean is being in fandom. Shipping or writing fic or having a blog or making art. I'm so used to it being a hush-hush hobby I just can't imagine "coming out" in front of someone and telling them my username and all that. I live in a homophobic country so that adds to the fun, but even without it, I write erotica. I also write badwrong erotica so it's bit uuuh sensitive? I can't imagine telling someone that but it's a big part of my life and I don't want to close that off from someone who is supposed to be a friend but it's not the easiest topic, you see?

And i do have other hobbies and topics to connect through but I'm not gonna lie, fandom is important to me because I just love writing and looking at art and all and I don't want to make it a secret, as I said. This may sound very embarrassing but I was hoping you or anyone can share some advice? XD How do you guys approach this if you haven't met through your online profiles? Aren't you scared/shy to give out your username? Plenty of ppl's friends know they write fic but I'm not sure how they do that. I'm definitely feeling stressed about this bc of antis and doxxing and it feels stupid but I wanted to add that. It's that being vulnerable feeling but I'm tired of being ashamed of my own hobbies but I'm not sure how this stuff goes irl? Do you wait until you're closer friends? Or just rip off the band-aid? Who knows, maybe the other person is in the same boat! I hope you got a sense of what my question is? I'm sorry if this weird and thanks in advance!

--

This is a very good question.

Part of the answer is that the people you're observing have different offline circumstances from yours, so you're going to have more trouble replicating their experiences than some lurkers.

But that's not the whole story.

I personally do not wait to tell people. I'm not in any real danger of being physically attacked for being a weird porn writer, but even in a tolerant part of the US, lots of people are going to think my hobbies are strange. Lots of people will have double standards where indie art by women is cringe and abnormal, while equally horny, revealing, or weird art that has the seal of approval from big publishers or Hollywood is fine and normal, especially if it's by straight men, but frankly, even if it's not.

The biggest key to the emotional side of things is to be confident that your way is the right one. You're allowing this other person an opportunity to know an artist with a unique personal vision. If they're a stick-in-the-mud who hates interesting art, that's a them problem.

If you are genuinely proud of your weirdness, other people will often find it intriguing or not think to attack it as cringe.

If there's an element of physical safety or job security at risk, obviously, things are a little different. You probably can't find local people who are loud and proud about fanfiction porn specifically, but what do queer artists in your area do?

If you're somewhere where gay men are being dragged off and shot, maybe there's nobody who's out and proud, but in many homophobic countries, there are still weirdo artist subcultures that aren't ultra closeted. Where do those people hang out? How do they signal group membership? How do they keep themselves safe?

Honestly, when I meet people offline, we don't always share our actual handles. It was years before I actually knew most of my friends' AO3 accounts. What I do do is casually talk about liking fic from the very beginning. That's normal to me, so I mention it like it's normal. Liking m/m, porn, and weird kinks are all normal to me too, and I talk about them like they're nothing to be ashamed of or secretive about.

The vibe you give off does a lot to cue other people. If you're not ashamed, they will treat the topic as a non-shameful one. If they go "Gasp! You like X!" and you raise your eyebrows as though they'd said something as silly as "You find cat videos cute????" it will embarrass them. Treat that behavior like a faux pas, not like a valid attack.

[doodlebloo]

Hi Doodlebloo :) so you’re pretty much my favorite fic writer in Dsmp fandom, if not my favorite ever. I’m trying to post my first fic (kind of inspired by you) but having trouble not being too hard on myself and finding an organized writing process. I was wondering how your writing process normally looks and if you have any advice for how to characterize as well as you? Thanks sm :) <3333

Hello anon :D

Ok first off, super glad to hear you're working on a fic! Regardless of whether you ever finish it or whether you decide to post or not, remember that writing and having ideas in the first place is awesome and you should feel proud! :) (Also remember that not all writing advice works for everyone lol.)

When I write, I normally write a loose outline for the chapter beforehand. Sometimes that'll include specific things like dialogue, but more often than not it just hits the major things that I want to happen. I don't usually worry about formatting this correctly, sometimes it's literally one long run-on sentence that explains the whole chapter lol </3 But it helps for me to have an outline so that if I hit a wall I can remember where I'm supposed to be headed, if that makes sense?

Overall I think one of the pieces of writing advice that has always helped me out is the fact that it is MUCH easier to edit than to actually write, so if you feel like what you're writing isn't great as you're writing it, it may be worth it to just keep writing and get something down, even if it isn't exactly how you want it yet. Sometimes if I'm thinking "This scene kind of sucks," I just put a little placeholder like (write later) and move on to the next scene, because it's better to get half a chapter done than no chapter imo. I also swear by the advice that if you can't figure out where to go/get stuck, the problem is usually about ten sentences back <- that has saved my life so many times for real.

Irt characterization specifically, I'd honestly recommend going on Twitter and looking through those dream smp quote bot accounts. A lot of the time they'll be based on one character, so like for example they'll just post word for word c!Wilbur quotes every so often. Those are helpful because you can scroll through and find things that are common for each character to say, such as "if I'm honest/I reckon" for cTubbo, just little things like that :) I would also recommend limiting the amount of characters that you really focus on if characterization is something you're worried about, bc it's usually a lot easier to focus on keeping things in character if you don't have like 8 different people all interacting at once, if that makes sense. Rewatching vods is also a big help, sometimes I make a little note sheet where I just write down interesting figures of speech and phrases characters use a lot, but that's also kind of overkill I think so only do that if you want!

Overall the best advice I can give is to have fun, write what you want to write (provided it's within boundaries and such obviously) and make sure you are enjoying yourself! If you get really stuck I'd recommend writing the scene you're most excited to write out of the whole fic, even if it's several chapters away, bc that could get you excited again. Good luck with your writing! :D <3

[korgidorgi]

The Avengers reactions to You getting into a fight at school

Warnings: cursing

Reader wrote to be female (pronouns are only used like once so i mean, anyone can read it ig). (Thinking I'm writing an actual fic out of this)

(idk what/where this gif is from)

(Also I don't own any of the Gifs used)

You got into a fight because some girl was being a bitch to someone you like 😏 (it can be whoever you want, irl crush, Peter, MJ, etc. your life, not mine)

You don't normally pick fights with people so this is like, a big thing for you

The bitch hit you first

You dodged her second attack

and broke her nose

You ended the fight

You ditch school and come back to the tower

Peter told Tony

Tony told everyone else

Peter saw everything go down

Fucking snitch

Don't worry, your crush helped you clean up after :) (you were bleeding a bit)

Tony:

Not too happy about hearing about it

He was passive-agressive to you when you got back to the tower, made you ✨uncomfy✨(He's scary when he's upset ok? He also lowkey has an army of robots)

He finally asks you about what happened and you tell him

Teases you about doing it to get Peter's attention (whether that's true or not, you deny it)

He's very much like a dad about the whole situation

Steve:

When he asks you about what happens, you start cursing

Comes at you about cursing

"Language."

"Sorry, BuT sTiLl!"

Crosses his arms at you, trying to be angry with you

Is secretly proud of you for standing up for someone because, he too, is a goody two-shoes and probably would have done something similar

Picks up that it may have been your crush who compelled you to do it but doesn't bring that up

Bruce:

Indirect about approaching you about it

When he does bring it up, he's a lot more calm than Tony, but gives you a mini lecture

"If that had been me approaching that situation, I never would have because the Big Guy would have probably killed them and we don't want that."

Makes sure you're ok tho

Natasha:

You can't tell if she's disappointed, proud, angry, what

She simply asks what happened, casually springing the topic on you right as your taking a sip of your favorite drink (you choke on it)

At first, she just listens intensely which scares you a bit, but is secretly proud of you that you stopped a fight with one hit (strong bby :3)

She gets you to tell her why you started bickering in the first place and you just come out and tell her about your crush

She encourages you to ask this certain someone out ;)

Clint:

Stalks you from the vents for a little bit before dropping down to interrogate you

Damn near break his nose

At first he scolds you for fighting, but loosens up

"If you were one of my kids-"

He's said too much

You weren't supposed to know he has a whole ass secret family (let's just pretend okay?)

Oh well, cat's out of the bag now

He tells you to not tell anyone what he said

Crawls back into the vent and disappears

Thor:

Isn't the best judge of scenarios like this because things are so much different on Asgard

Praises you for doing the right thing

The two of you talk about fights you've been in and the worst injuries the two of you have sustained (Thor wins that obviously)

You excitedly tell him how it felt getting hit for someone and he fangirls with you as well

He offers you alcohol (despite you being a bit young) (Do you take it?)

Tony yells from the other room

"Don't encourage her, Thor!"

Bucky:

Doesn't really approach you about it, he doesn't really talk with you much tbh (he doesn't really talk with anyone other than Steve, or younger people) (Look, idc if the timeline's screwed up)

Kinda proud you took a punch for someone tho

Gives you a thumbs-up when you pass him after talking with Steve about it

Sam:

Much like Steve, he's a bit stern with you, crossing his arms

Tells you to not do stupid shit like that (without him)

He only loosens up when you tell him that this certain someone has unconsentually stolen your heart

Won't stop teasing you about your crush but doesn't spread it to the other Avengers

Rhodey:

"You fucking what!?"

High-fives you when you tell him the story

Also encourages you about the ordeal like Thor

He's a bad influence on you

"You shouldda just gone in, hit her, and been like 'Boom, you looking for this?'"

Everyone in earshot just freezes and just blankly stares at him

"Not funny, okay. Bad joke."

Tony looks at him, daring him to encourage this behavior

Wanda:

She doesn't confront you about it, more like you race up to her and giddily tell her about it

Asks if you're okay (which you confirm)

Lowkey wants to see what it looked like

"If you want you can look in my head if you wanna see it it was sO aWeSoMe!"

Refuses your offer but looks anyways because she's curious

Nearly freaks out at your memory when you get hit

Very satisfied when you hit the bitch back though

Sees your crush that way, she'll talk with you about your crush when you bring it up later, she doesn't want to ruin your excitement

(I'm considering her a possible crush insert too now so maybe she already saw it and is like, still horrified you'd do that for her bc she doesn't think shes really worth getting sucker punched for so let's do this:)

(She's concerned that you're excited about taking a hit for her but thinks its sweet)

Peter:

He fucking SAW IT HAPPEN! (Ned saw it too)

He freaked out and helped you clean up outside before you buggered off to clean up elsewhere (with the help of your crush, unless it was him, then he leads you somewhere to help clean you up better)

Doesn't know whether to be horrified or impressed

When he tells Tony, he's screaming about what happened and is really blown away by the incident

Really worried about you afterward

Regretted telling Tony because he thought you'd kill him for it (I mean, you might ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )

Won't shut up about it for the next 3 weeks

Vision:

He really only brought up that you looked different

Asked if you got hurt somehow because of the bruise and cut on your face

You tell him what happened

Doesn't really understand why you of all people would get into a fight

Warns against the (obvious) results of taking physical damage

Isn't much of a supporter or disciplinary figure on this whole ordeal, very neutral

[roseverdict]

well, since the masterpost is being Difficult™, here's the list of who has what powers and also another snippet that i'm super-proud of

stan- fire and smoke manipulation

shermie- lightning and energy manipulation

ford- ice, snow, and water manipulation

fiddleford- technopathy

soos- shapeshifting bc i'm a sucker for that trope soxjskxnsxknx

wendy- plant powers and/or marksmanship

robbie- the ability to control the undead with his music. he wants to be an Edgy Villain™ but. nah. >:)

pacifica- ostensibly her only power is Being Rich (but she's actually an animal whisperer)

mabel- light and warmth manipulation

dipper- shadow and cold manipulation

gideon- he's a real psychic this time! he just…can't keep more than one vision in his head at once so he has to keep writing them down aksjskznsksn

they're all more durable than regular ppl and they all heal faster, too. something that's pines-specific, though, is the ability to turn into their elements for, among other things, a quick escape. for example, shermie can leap up into a power line if he needs to get out of the public eye Fast™. dipper can jump into a shadow and pop out in another shadow, so long as they're connected. stuff like that.

and now: the aftermath of "stan broke the machine but called ford immediately due to This Thing's Gonna Explode Or Something If We Don't Fix It." it was gonna be a shorter snippet but if i can't unleash the entire timeline on yall rn i'm at least unleashing this entire scene >:)

They trooped out to the cars, and Ford set his tools down in the back of Shermie's with a deep breath.

Then he rounded on Stan, poking an accusing finger into Stan's chest. "What were you thinking, you knucklehead?! Why were you even out here so late in the first place?"

"What was I thinking?" Stan laughed viciously and pointed a finger of his own at Ford. "What's going on in that nerd brain of yours?!"

"Oh, no, you do not get to turn this around on me-!"

"I get that Glass Shard ain't exactly the Ritz, but-!"

"-if you were in the school, you were there for a reason, and-!"

"-thought we were gonna leave together! At no point did you ever even-!"

"-can't think of any other reason than-!"

"-so what else was I supposed to think when you-!"

"-SABOTAGE MY ENTIRE FUTURE!"

"-ABANDON ME TO SCRAPE BARNACLES MY WHOLE LIFE!"

"ENOUGH!" Shermie roared.

Three things happened at once.

Ford attempted to shove Stan, and ice crystals physically grew over his fingers.

Stan smacked Ford's hands away, and real, actual fire swirled around his arms to melt Ford's ice.

Electricity lanced from Shermie's hair and into the streetlamp, shattering it with a pop and sending glass shards to the ground.

The three of them stared with wide eyes, first at the twins' hands, then up at the dead streetlight.

Stan swallowed, and in a small voice, he asked, "Is, uh…is that normal?"

"Definitely not." Ford answered, just as weakly. "I only ever managed to give myself minor telekinesis, and even that only lasted for a few minutes at a time."

Shermie took a shaky breath, and with a forced calm, said, "One thing at a time. Let's get you two home and see about treating Stan's shoulder. We do not need that getting infected."

"Right. Okay." Ford mumbled.

"Ford, you go in Stan's car. Make sure he doesn't pass out from shock." Shermie directed. "And if you two start arguing again, so help me, I will strangle you both."

"Yes, Sherm." Stan nodded. Usually, he'd roll his eyes as he said it, but…he was just so exhausted after the past several hours.

They clambered into their respective cars, and Stan pulled out of the parking lot with Shermie right behind him.

The silence was suffocating.

So, Stan, being the idiot he was, decided to try and make conversation.

"Y'know I wouldn't actually try to break it, right?" He finally said, stopping at a red light.

Ford grunted and glared out the window.

"I just…when did 'wherever we go, we go together' turn into 'Ford is gonna do great things like leave his dumb brother alone in Jersey forever'?" Stan went on, almost leaning back to gesture into the air until he remembered his burn. "Was there some kind of memo I missed? Was that always the plan, and you were just…I dunno, humoring me this whole time?"

The light turned green, and as they pulled forward, Ford muttered, "You weren't going to be alone. Certainly not forever."

An angry laugh managed to escape Stan, and he shot a disbelieving stare at Ford before turning his attention back to the road. "You mind repeating that? Ya do realize that leaving me here is by definition leaving me alone, right? That's-! That's as clear-cut as it gets!"

"No, it's not." Ford insisted, shifting in his seat. "You're good with people, Stanley. I mean, really good! Having to stick up for me, put up with me, can only be hurting your chances with the rest of the school population! Without me in the way, you'd probably be one of the most popular kids there! And barnacle scraping? You and I both know you'd find some way to get out of here and hunt down treasure the likes of which the world has never seen, just like you've wanted since we were kids!"

"No, Ford, I really don't!" Stan snapped, smacking the steering wheel and slamming the brakes. "I'm not 'good with people,' I'm good at making myself the butt of every joke! I'm not 'putting up with you,' you're my brother and my best friend, and anybody who picks on you is someone I don't wanna be friends with anyway! And treasure hunting? Hah! That'd be nice and all, but it was never about going it solo! It was about having my best friend there with me, even when the rest of the world thought I was the scum of the earth! Or at least…"

Stan sighed and hunched his shoulders, glaring out the window.

"…I thought it was."

"Stanley…"

Shermie honked and called, "You two aren't fighting up there, are you?"

Stan took a deep breath, but it was Ford who answered.

"No, Sherman!"

"You better not be lying to me!"

"I'm not, Sherman!"

Stan glanced over at him, confusion bubbling up, but Ford just gestured for him to drive.

Uh.

Okay.

Stan started driving again, and Ford sighed. "Stan, I thought if I went on to West Coast Tech, both of us could come into our own without the weight of 'being a twin' hanging over us. I never once meant it as-! As-! As abandonment! I thought you understood what I meant, when I told you about it at the swings!"

"I'm terrible at subtext, Sixer. You know that." Stan pointed out. "I mean, you heard the principal, too. I'm dumb as a bag of bricks, and that's insulting to the bricks."

"No, Stan. You're really not. Sure, by comparison, it may seem like it-"

"Gee, thanks."

"-but that's really just unfair to you!" Ford burst. "How many kids our age actually get scouted by high-end colleges like WCT? How many of them are twins? And how many of the people they know insist on calling them 'the smart one' and 'the dumb one'?"

"I…dunno?" Stan tried.

In the corner of his vision, Ford shot him a small smile. "My point is…Stan, everyone's been calling us 'the genius' and 'the dumb one' our whole life, but without me here to compare you to, they'll have to admit you're plenty smart in your own right. And if they don't, then that's on them."

Stan took a breath to argue further, but Ford held up a hand. "And if it turns out you really are dumb, which I highly doubt it will but IF IT DOES. If it does."

"Right. If."

"Yes, if." Ford pressed. "Then it still won't matter what they think, because…because there'll always be at least one person who thinks you're pretty great, regardless of perceived intelligence."

Stan swallowed and glanced over at Ford.

Ford lifted his eyebrows in a bid for Stan to get what he was saying.

Stan got it, it just…

It seemed like Ford actually meant it.

"Stan, are you crying?"

"I JUST HAVE DUST IN MY EYES!" Stan deflected, forcing himself to speak through the lump in his throat that Definitely Wasn't There. "THAT'S ALL IT IS!"

Ford snorted and carefully laid a cool hand on Stan's shoulder, unintentionally soothing the burn as he did. "Well, if you were, there'd be no shame in it."

Stan managed a small smile at that.

They pulled up in front of the pawn shop, and when they got out, Stan came around the front of the car and tugged Ford into a bear hug. After a moment, Ford even returned it.

Shermie's car drove a little past them before pulling over, and Shermie himself got out and leaned against the side, a knowing grin on his face. "You two get everything outta your systems?"

Stan nodded and stepped back, scrubbing at his face. "Think so."

"I concur." Ford agreed. "I believe that was a long time in coming."

"Good. You're both good kids, and I don't wanna see you get torn apart over a misunderstanding." Shermie said, heading for the side door to the house part of the pawn shop.

Ford went to follow, but Stan took a second longer.

"…for what it's worth, your science project really oughta knock 'em dead tomorrow, Poindexter."

"Thanks. Even though it's technically today, now."

"Hey, it ain't tomorrow 'til I sleep!"

[kae-karo]

OKAYYYYYY KAE HERE WE GO!! 👏

For the Weird Writer Ask: how about 10, 25, and 32??

hello hello hi and tyty!!! <3

send me writing asks from this list!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

hmm is a haunting good or bad? or is it neither, it just is? i think a lot of writing has haunted me for different reasons and in different ways, not all of them bad, but i'd be hard-pressed to put a single solitary definition on the term

writing from other people i wouldn't say haunts me? it tends to be my own writing if anything. stories unwritten tend to be the ones that haunt me most - bc i believe firmly in following inspiration, i have a bit of a trail behind me of partly-written stories that i have yet to find the inspiration to return to. and it hurts a little because they're good, i know they're good, i love the concept still but i just don't have the right vibes to keep working on them at the moment

other hauntings include ones that persist even after i've written them, which sounds strange but i really have a bizarre affliction where i write something, post it, and then after a week or so i've totally forgotten i even wrote it unless it's brought to my attention lmao. but some stories stick with me, or the emotions do at least - my 'pining for someone else' chaeya fic and the 100k multi-ship canon divergence au i wrote for bnha come to mind, things that haunt me in a good way - when i'm reminded of them, i'm proud and get warm fuzzies over what i've written

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

hmmm i feel like i don't have any details that are canon? certainly not ones i'd call weird or hyper-specific, at least (insert 'diluc got smashed at a snezhnayan event and blacked out for 3 days' tidbit here)

really i tend to have very specific hcs that make their way into a story in spite of their irrelevance: kaeya trained benny on how to use a sword (their normal attack strings are almost identical), childe can drink everyone under the table, barb is a little bit fucked up actually, hu tao and baizhu know Far More than they're supposed to, and i could probably come up with more if given too long to think about it lmao

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

i keep a quote board actually cause i'm a little bit of a 'brevity is the soul of wit' kind of person so i actually have a massive list of quotes that are meaningful to me but i'll share one i have yet to find a way to utilize somewhere yet:

"you're going to kill your own god so you can fall in love for the first time"

the whole song (i believe it's a song, lyrics here - x) is really powerful but i actually first saw it in a textpost aligned with some fandom that i've actually totally forgotten. but this one line especially hits me hard, which is strange as i've never been religious, and in all honesty i never took it religiously, bc my brain lives in the fandom universe 90% of the time, and i just applied it to one of my best blorbos (childe ajax tartaglia our best boi tart) and sometimes i get brainrot about how he is exactly the kind of character that would go to extremes like that (and, more broadly, how much i adore thinking about characters that would indeed go to extremes for those they love)

send me writing asks from this list!