#I'm pretty sure the drive would still be significant :P

[alexanderwales]

Disclaimer: this is a very long ask. Please feel free to ignore it if you're busy, or for any other reason - 'I love your work!' is a decent summary. Hello Mr. Wales! And belated welcome to tumblr from someone else who also spent years seeing tumblr screenshots on reddit and twitter before joining.

I read Significant Digits a while back (immediately after reading HPMoR) and enjoyed it a lot, so thank you for that! More recently, I've tried doing some writing myself, with middling success (a HPMoR, Delve, Mother of Learning and Mage Errant crossover).

One of my readers left a long and fascinating comment on my fic, in which they quoted your review of HPMoR at length: https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/a-call-to-the-dark-city-delve-mother-of-learning-hpmor-mage-errant-multicross.127432/post-30801851

I found that I disagreed with your thoughts quite a bit, which surprised me! My response is in the next post in that chain, but the gist (ignoring context specific to my fic) is this exchange:

Harry does not win the climax of the fic by having overcome his flaws, he wins it through brutal murder. The biggest organic change he undergoes is from believing in the value of truth to advocating for multiple conspiracies against both the wizarding and muggle worlds, and if that's character growth, I find it ugly.

My (shortened) response:

As Alexander Wales notes, Harry *does* change in HPMOR: he becomes less open, less willing to share information widely, and shifts focus from local issues (people and ethics near him) to what he considers global risks and outcomes. As a reader, I'm not too interested in whether or not the change in Harry's character is in a 'good' direction, or whether or not he becomes a better person, or whether or not his views over time gradually approach my own. For me, the most important thing in a story is that it is *interesting* - and I find Harry's arc in HPMOR very interesting.

I'm curious about if you have thoughts on the general debate there - to what extent do you think writers should prioritise faithful simulation of characters and setting vs. giving the characters an arc with an emotionally satisfying conclusion? Or is deciding initial conditions such that accurate simulation leads to a satisfying character arc and emotional conclusion *the real puzzle*?

Thanks again - I've enjoyed your writing a lot over the years, and expect to enjoy it more soon! (About 10 of my readers have independently recommended that I read Worth the Candle based on the stories I've included in my fic, so it's pretty close to the top of my reading list :p )

(I am obligated to point out that Significant Digits was not mine. I wrote a very short epilogue here, but nothing of the length or complexity of any of the notable fan sequels.)

I've been thinking about how to answer this for a bit, but I think what it comes down to for me is that I want a story to have a clear thematic, emotional, or intellectual through line. I want a story to be about some specific thing, and then take that thing through its paces, and to have us come out the other end having explored that thing in its fullness.

To some extent, I like stories best when they're driving at some singular vision, which I know as a sprawling webfic author probably seems insane. So if the ultimate conclusion is "yes, we should commit conspiracies against people for their own good" then I would like for the early parts of the story to show us why that's the case, ideally by having some truth be put out into the world that causes damage, or by showing how a lesser conspiracy worked to protect something, or whatever else. Or contrarily, if it's the work's position that conspiracies are bad things, then it should show us how and why they're bad, and why this character is making that decision anyway. Or if the work isn't sure how it feels about this thing, I still want them to explore it, to see the different scenarios and thoughts.

I'm an avowed fan of HPMOR, and I am unfortunately the sort of fan that has a lot of critical takes about the things that I enjoy. My biggest problem with HPMOR is that it's not thematically "whole": the individual parts don't feel like they mesh that well together (in my opinion). With that said, I haven't reread HPMOR in a very long time, and my arguments are rusty, so I don't want to give them here.

I think my desire for thematic cohesion is probably work-dependent, but even so, is also probably at the far end of reader preferences. Some people are perfectly happy to read things that are more simulationist in nature: a character does things because that's what they would do, and if this doesn't build up to some grand theme or climactic showdown, so be it. I do think a lot of the trick of writing is making character stuff work in harmony with plot stuff, because you don't want people to feel like "oh, he just did that because the plot demanded it" (though they will say that about almost anything, in my experience).

I don't think that HPMOR is fatally flawed for its thematic wanderings, and I do think there's some sense in which it's best read as a you'd read a TV show with multiple "seasons" which are individually about something but don't necessarily have as solid of a through line. It's just a personal preference thing, I guess.

[picnokinesis]

hello! I’ve just wanted to say that all the meta you’ve written on mathematique has been pretty illuminating. big thanks for that! also, don’t even know if you’re still following cleanwhiteroom’s updates but fod rewrites has been pretty insane right? in many ways, but specifically in terms of overall triptych. there’s so much to unpack especially when it comes to ancient ‘riley’…..

Ahh hello!! This is so nice ahh, I'm so happy you liked the meta and found it enlightening!! <3 It was so much fun to write hahaha. And yes, I know I've been pretty quiet here cwr-wise, but I have 100% definitely been following the rest of the math and ad noc chapters, and then ALL THE FOD REWRITES?? I have been steadily loosing my mind hahah! There's just! SO much!! I've actually been wanting to do another post about the changes since ad noc chapters 6 and 7 went up, which was like....half a year ago?? Guh. But yeah I've been so busy and just not have the time, energy or motivation to sit down and write out another essay rip (also I'm currently about two chapters behind on fod 2.0, I last read chapter 43, I think? Maybe 44, I don't remember). But man, there is a lot of new stuff to dig into, isn't there? Especially in fod, but just like you said, it's stuff that relates to ALL the verses - like MAN the whole conversation with Ancient!Riley and Young, all the changes there were just fascinating - like the idea of seven arrays (or, I suppose, bundles of adjacent timelines) and then the fact that THREE of them are crucial/threatening to the integrity of the multiverse?? (or something like that - it's late here and I've been on trains for 12 hours across the last two days so forgive me for not going to check the actual chapter) So like, I think it's so obvious that I don't need to say but I'm gonna say it anyway - those three key arrays are our triptych, for SURE. And it makes me all the more curious about math in particular, because if we assume from the little snippets that cwr stuck up on tumblr back in the day for the adnoc verse that cwr is intending for Rush and Volker to end up on Destiny, I can 100% see why Ancient!Riley would be, uh. Let's say concerned to have a very traumatised pyromaniac at the helm of that verse. But then, math? Man, the more I think about it the more it fascinates me, because I'm sure this means that they're all gonna end up on Destiny, somehow, but like Volker is so much more a lynchpin in that verse, right? But then we have Rush going to Atlantis, based on the last few chapters we have of math, and from the changes we have in fod 2.0, we know that Rush's P=NP related skills are a significant reason why he's so good with using Destiny's systems and making work-arounds....so like, I've still got one foot solidly in the 'math!rush will go to Destiny' camp, and I feel like for that verse to end up on Riley's 'list of troublesome verses', Rush has gotta get to Destiny, right?? Like, man, it almost feels wrong to suggest he WOULDN'T because...well, it's Rush and Destiny, yknow!! It would feel kinda unbalanced if he got there in adnoc and fod but not math. Also, unhinged scientists have got to threaten the integrity of the multiverse somehow, and he's certainly not doing it from Atlantis, or the ancients would have done it from Atlantis. And - idk man, Rush has got a serious drive to actually fly into the collision point between d-branes and try to change something (even if he knows that, fundamentally, he can't), and it's that point that Riley seems bothered about. Volker, though? Hm. Idk, in math he seems to have pretty much accepted that he can't go back to his old life. Would he and Telford fly into it for the sake of science? Yeah, I mean they pretty much certainly would lol but my point is that the desperation to do it, compounded together by the AI's desire and Rush's, is a key component to the whole issue, yeah? And I don't get the same vibe from Volker, you get me? BUT. I may be wrong! I have no idea what's gonna happen and it's great.

ANYWAY this ended up long - but yeah!! There's so much more than this to unpack and maaaaybe one day I'll get the brain space again to do a Proper Post about it. We'll see!

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

Do you know anyone who always makes themselves out to be the victim? HAHAHAHAHHAAAA...yep! umm got a pen and paper?? mostly my mom. nuff said.

Have you ever wished you had been born the opposite sex? I mean not like that, ya know? more like "would my life have been different HAD I been born different?"

What were some of your favorite books your parents read to you as a child? I can't really remember "bedtime stories" per se, but childhood stories...? of course all the typical nursery rhymes, then again as I was an adult and found Andrew "Dice" Clay (stand up comic back in the 80s/90s) and heard his new renditions...can never hear them the same again lmao

Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? okay this is different given its by a significant other right..? ummm really not to my face, but cheating and seeing who I was cheated on with I think pretty much says it :|

What’s your favorite movie battle scene? oh god given I've never been huge into your usual action movies...umm most of mine to be honest? anything in the REAL Bourne movies..aka with Matt Damon, and yes that includes the whatever you wanna call it yeaars after the Renner one aka Bourne 4...when Matt was brought back? he still got it!

Do you drink more frequently than once a week? heh used to...let's not go there

Do you have any step-grandparents? umm yeah always have...one's passed, the other is still alive...

What is something popular that you refuse to participate in? TikTok dances...I mean I finally caved and downloaded the app itself, I just can't dance for shit XD sooo yeah won't see me trying any...except for the Applebees one since I worked there twice so it hits close to home and I may or may not have damn near memorized those moves off the commercial from tik tokers :P

Do you oftentimes find it difficult to relate to other peoples’ feelings? a lot...especially when it's those who "say" they can relate but first of all, not in your circumstances...two, as far as just in general? yeah I can relate wayy more on so much shit than they know, whether deep shit or just usual day to day..so...it varies. depends on the person and situation, including how I meet them...

What’s a common misconception about your country? oh lord lol I've seen so many memes about this, especially between us and Brits umm..the food. by all means, ours are so bad for you but from what I've seen recipe/custom "snack" or whatever wise? umm...we gotta talk lol and I got a bff from the UK and we constantly debate about this so I have inside info! XD

How far away do you live from the house you grew up in? oh god I moved around so much but my main one? 1 hr 56 mn drive, not sure if that's counting traffic lol

Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? first of all, define "wedding"...but no but by all means get me my dress and I'm there!

Who takes care of your pet(s) when you’re out of town? I'm ALWAYS home since he's gone more than he's home so...our cat is well taken care of trust me. and she is a hellion given he's gone more than he's home so since I'm here, she takes it out on me :|

Do you practice meditation? Never

What’s your favorite Marvel movie? Black Widow is one right...? my bff constantly cosplays as her cause she loves ScarJo so yes...although I've always wanted to f*** Rob Downey Jr. sooo I guess Iron Man is mine? XD

What was the last thing you wrote down on paper? doc appointments to write on the calendar

What’s the population of your hometown? hard to answer given I moved around so much

Have you ever eaten Cajun food? What about Creole food? no I've never been a fan of spicy food to begin with but I have severe health issues that literally don't let me anyway

If you’ve had both, which cuisine do you prefer? look above

Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? fuck yeah! who didn't? we were all trying to get one that had "no skip" so while we were on the bus we could have at least one song before we got to school!

What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? umm...cheating. and it's ex. thank god...

What are your siblings’ names and ages? I've said this before..I have a stepsis by marriage who's Kayla and she's my age she's just two months before me lol...not gonna get into my sperm donor "half" brother....

What’s your favorite recipe you’ve come up with? I never have Have you ever worn false eyelashes? never

Do you pay much attention to local news? no I make it a point not to for the most part but I catch it every now and then

Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? no but my fiance and I watch channels on Youtube that tell you how to lol

When did you last dust the baseboards in your home? next...

Do you prefer Japanese or Korean cuisine? Japanese.

What’s something you have zero tolerance for? animal abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, rape...

Do you know anyone who could be described as a religious fundamentalist? No

What was the last act of self-care you did for yourself? getting coffee for myself while he was at work

What grammar mistake do you find the most irritating? all of them

What will you be buying the next time you go grocery shopping? snacks aka junk food as always

Do you drink soda often? for the most part yeah

[terresdebrumestories]

Playing house

✗ TECHNICAL DETAILS

FANDOM: Saint Seiya SERIES: None (but it is TBU - compatible) RATING: Teen and Up WORDCOUNT: 1 200 PAIRING(S): - CHARACTER(S): Pisces Aphrodite, Scorpius Milo GENRE: Budding friendships TRIGGER WARNING(S): None SUMMARY: Aphrodite need to do some shopping. Milo is...not exactly overwhelmed with enthusiasm at the prospect. DEDICATION(S): - NOTE(S): Rwritten on a prompt from @dreamychaos : #90 “I’m not buying IKEA furniture again.” I feel like I could have gone further with the humorous aspects of this but it’ll be 1am soon and I’ve just realized I have to get up earlier than usual tomorrow so...have this as a first response! I’ll try to touch it up this weekend, see if I can do better on the funny scale :P

Thanks for giving me my first occasion to write a non-antagonistic Milo though :3

✗ THE FIC

“You are aware that you’re being a gigantic killjoy, right?”

Milo rolls his eyes, and Aphrodite bites on a sigh. Say what you want about painfully prideful people, but they are ridiculously easy to get where you want them to, provided you know which way they’ll run and when to stop with the goading. Milo, whose notion of honor lies in principles rather than arrogance or insecurities, has an infuriating tendency not to move at all, and Aphrodite has yet to figure his buttons out.

“Come on,” Aphrodite insists again, just in case, “it’s just a little bit of interior decoration!”

“Stop insisting,” Milo says while he drops something that smells like jasmine in his latest perfume vial, “I’m not buying IKEA furniture again.”

“It’s just a couple of wood planks!”

Aphrodite should, probably, be a little embarrassed at how whiny he sounds right now, but if he didn’t learn to maintain classical masculine pride up until now, he’s certainly not going to start just because Milo is being an uncooperative butt. Besides, you never know: if goading him doesn’t work, maybe being annoying will.

“They’re in Paris!” Milo snaps, finally turning away from his project, and almost pops a vein when Aphrodite shrugs:

“Actually the town’s called Bobigny.”

It’s highly probable Aphrodite enjoys the twitch of Milo’s eye more than he should. It’s not even revenge anymore at this point, just the pure, unadulterated joy of being a shithead just because he can. Sure, it got Aphrodite socked in the face more than a couple time but hey, that’s the price to pay when you like playing with people’s nerves.

“Aphrodite. I’m not running three thousand kilometers just so you can tell me you don’t like the shape of a closet or the color of glasses.”

“That’s not going to happen,” Aphrodite promises, “since I’m coming with you.”

He’s got to admit he’s kind of impressed with the way Milo manages to choke on thin air.

“You want me to do a twenty-eight hours drive just so you can buy a couple of closets?”

“No,” Aphrodite says, allowing just enough of a silence between them for Milo to start dreaming about relief before he finishes: “I want to buy a furnished kitchen, a bedroom set and enough bookcases to fill an entire room with them.”

Scratch that bit about choking—Milo’s face at that last bit deserves to be framed and mounted on a wall. He goes crimson in the blink of an eye, hair all but raising up on his head as he tries to figure out the proper order of words to express how insane Aphrodite is exactly. It’s an expression Aphrodite is very familiar with, if only because Anchise wears it awfully often around him.

In the end, unlike Anchise, Milo deflates and sighs like the weight of the world just fell back on his shoulders before he runs a hand over his face and sighs:

“Fine. For you to insist that much it must be important—”

“Oh, shove your entire honor up your ass, Manicure,” Aphrodite snaps, shoving at Milo’s shoulder without restraint, “I don’t need a knight in golden armor!”

Milo pauses, clearly confused, and Aphrodite has to rein in an eye roll of his own. He knows exactly what Milo is about to say, and it does nothing but solidify his conviction that the next god he meets will get a solid punch in the nose. Possibly somewhere it hurts more.

“I...just said I’d do what you want me to?”

“No,” Aphrodite counters with a concerted effort not to sound like he’s addressing a toddler, “you just said ‘I don’t want to do this but I’m too noble to say no’. What I want to hear is ‘fine, I’ll do it ‘cause we’re friends’.”

“Is ‘I’ll do it because you’re being a thorn in my side’ an acceptable substitute or is that a Death Mask exclusivity?”

Aphrodite glares at the dig, and Milo’s expression shifts to constipated apology before he really has time to enjoy his bit of cleverness. To be fair, it’s not like Anchise doesn’t do the same when discussing Milo with Aphrodite, but Aphrodite doesn’t let him get away with it either. Besides, ‘I’m doing this to make you shut up’ may be what people hear when Anchise speaks, but it’s not what he says.

Aphrodite just doesn’t expect the others to realize that anytime soon.

“Right,” Milo mutters, reluctant but sincere, “sorry. Look, is it really that important to you?”

“I know I like being annoying,” Aphrodite replies with a roll of his eyes, “but I do know when to quit a joke.”

Milo looks at him for a long time, speculative face on, and Aphrodite can’t help but remember how much of a snotty asshole Camus was as a child. Used to look down on the rest, that one, too proud of his own smarts for his own good, constantly reminding everyone he was the smartest in the Sanctuary, until they were all separated for their out-of-bounds training. Milo got into a lot of stupid shit, as a kid, but he and Camus were friends since day one.

Maybe it’s not that surprising that he ends up sighing, softer but somehow more tired, and not-quite-asking:

“It’s for him, isn’t it?”

“I would have asked someone else but Saga’s not in a state to face the outside world, and experience showed Shaka is the worst shopping partner in the universe. That makes you my only real option.”

It’s easy to see the moment Milo decides not to ask why Anchise can’t come and shop for his own new furniture. Aphrodite isn’t sure what stops the words from spilling out: friendship for him? Principled refusal to get involved in  fellow Saint’s issues? An unshakable dislike of anything Anchise-related? It’s anyone’s guess, really. Most likely, it’s a mix of the three, but either way, Milo stops short of asking the difficult question, and Aphrodite gives him a thankful smile for it.

He’s not sure these two will ever manage to tolerate each other, but if they can learn to pretend like they don’t actually hate each other’s guts Aphrodite is willing to take it.

“Alright,” Milo says at last, a rueful smile playing at the edge of his lips, “I’ll come along...but we’re doing doing some tourism as well.”

“Of course! I think I might manage to arrange a visit in a perfumer’s workshop, if you want.”

Milo’s face brightens at the prospect, surprisingly enthusiastic about getting to smell a ton of things Aphrodite wouldn’t be able to tell apart if his life depended on it. It’s the good part of being friends with the guy: once you start figuring out what he likes, he actually has very few restraints about showing he’s pleased. Sometimes, that kind of easy response is a refreshing change from the abysses of subtlety wrapped around Aphrodite’s relationship with Anchise.

“Oh, one last thing,” Milo says, one finger raising up as if to silence Aphrodite’s question, “you’re driving. The whole way there.”

This time it’s Aphrodite’s time to choke on thin air, but it’s okay. He’ll just make sure to play terrible pop cassette tapes the whole time.

[iamnightduchess]

ReinerxMikasa (ReiKasa) Extremely Kinky A to Z Ask Game (R20+) Headcanon #19

*Update: 24 March 2021

A continuation of this ask & inspired by this original post. Dedicated to @xrocketmanx for their amazing 💖 on my ko-fi page!

(A/N: ‼️WARNING‼️Graphic description of very explicit smut with potentially provocative images ⛔ Please don't click Keep Reading if you're below 20 🙅‍♀️ Sorry kiddos! To my more adult readers, please absorb this post's content with appropriate discretion & maturity)

(In complete Alphabetical Order)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

People expect Reiner to be the one who would jump off the bed immediately soon after when they’re done but on the contrary, he just loves lying there and holding Mikasa in his arms post-coitus. Although, they do sleep with Mikasa lying on his chest most nights. Mikasa wasn’t used to be held intimately in the first few months of their relationship, so the first time they made love, Reiner gave her the space that she needed before, during and after. It was Mikasa who finally initiated their first cuddle post-coitus after the next several weeks.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Reiner: Very confident of his physical appearance and in his skin. He really loves everything on and about Mikasa. He loves her body type the way she is - to him, hers is just perfect. But, his most favorite body part of hers he'd like to touch first every time he could is her hands. He just like holding her hands when he wakes up, winding down for the night & even when he's asleep.

Mikasa: This woman, despite having a bombshell athletic figure, still secretly feels insecure of the way she looks. She loves Reiner's biceps the most - at home, she'll sneak a quick peck or a nibble on his biceps when he's doing the dishes or making dinner. She also likes to snuggle up to him on the couch with his arm draped around her shoulders, sometimes until she falls asleep.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… lol)

She...swallows? 🙈 (holy shizz i'm not so sure of this one. Can't think of a suitable answer without being cringey 🤣)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Reiner & Mikasa once had a quickie inside the changing booth during a beach trip with their friends. Reiner had also went down on Mikasa after dinner at his mum's place, right in Karina's laundry room because he 'accidentally' spilt some wine on her dress & wanted to get her dress cleaned up. He ended up having her as dessert on top of the moving dryer & she left her underwear there by accident.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

They were both not each other’s first lovers but when they first got together, the experience is like being with no other. They discovered new parts & points of not only their significant other’s physical & spiritual strengths but also their own respective preferences as well. Reiner’s quite a ladies’ man during his early years in the military but after a while, he got bored of the game. Meeting Mikasa, he realised he wants to play the game again but this time to win it for good. Mikasa has only been with one boyfriend since college & being with Reiner opened her eyes up to vast possibilities.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

No, Reiner doesn't do the Military Style despite being a military man 🤣 Missionary & Cow Girl are their standard starting positions. Despite Mikasa being very flexible, which gave them more advantage in attempting the more physically-challenging positions, but the following are their more favorite experimental ones:

Oasis

Basket

Watering Can

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

A little bit of both, no doubt. Reiner has a dorky sense of humor & Mikasa's odd humor makes for a good tension-breaking combination. Their foreplays always begin with a good laugh - with Reiner ghosting his teasing touches on her love handles. Gets her in the mood for some serious sexing every time.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

For both, the carpets matched the drapes. Mikasa tried Brazillian wax once and uhh...Reiner abstained for a week & a half because he prefers her au naturalé 🙈 He said it felt odd from what he's used to haha

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

There are days they’ll just have a quickie if they get in the mood while just chilling, watching TV together after dinner. Before the children came, they would always have slow, intense eye-gazing, tantric, unrushed lovemaking. After the twins came into the picture, they’ll be lucky if they can even have cuddle time together >D Mikasa doesn’t say “I love you” out-loud but showed it in the way she touches & kisses Reiner’s arm when he’s in the kitchen making dinner or when he’s giving the twins a bath.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Oooh...Reiner rarely does this after he dated Mikasa & married her. But he loves getting her to touch herself in the showers. While he watches.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Did i tell you about their muscle kink & how much they love each other’s muscles?? Roleplay :) They like to pretend they’re strangers meeting in a cafe or a hotel bar and later have a ‘pretend one-night stand’ with each other haha It keeps the flame burning! (i posted a oneshot on this.)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Home: bedroom, kitchen and in his home office. In the showers too!

They're not one to do it in public but they did have several outdoor trysts on the back of his 4WD while having a romantic night under the stars.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) haha can't help not including this gif

When Mikasa rubs one of Reiner's thighs, rest assured that his gears will be running. Meanwhile when Reiner nuzzles her neck and started caressing her abs, oh it's an on for her alright.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

⛔ Backdoors are a big N.O ⛔

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

They're both amazing givers... You know what it means: 34 + 35 🤫 Reiner would sometimes initiates when Mikasa's already asleep. Remember that Zoom Conference & online gaming session? Mikasa likes to get back at Reiner when he least expects it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Both depending on their moods...quickies are usually fast pounding yet not too rough, Reiner respects Mikasa too much to ever be at risk of hurting her. Usually their lovemaking would be sensual & soul-bonding at the same time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Mikasa prefers to wear pants when they ever go for outings, movie trips, hiking trips. But, she wears skirts when they're visiting their families for a reason: smoother access for quickies. The moment she walks down the stairs in a beautiful dress before they head to his mum's or her aunts', Reiner already knows it. They be getting freaky with a quickie later 🙈

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Reiner & Mikasa are very experimental in the bedroom. Sure, they don’t have frequent lovemaking but when they’re in the mood, fireworks are a guarantee throughout with different new positions ;) Risk-taker? Let’s just say Reiner’s virility and Mikasa’s flexibility provided a lot of perks in their love lives together (and some pregnancy scares too! before they were ready to conceive) Mikasa once gave Reiner head while they're stuck in traffic heading into a road block. He'd finished just before the the car in front of them pass the inspection 🙈

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ooh boy, all night haha Rounds: 2 max at one time. Duration: At least 1.5hours X) They both are super fit, athletic people so one can expect their staminas to be nothing less than subpar. *cough* In Canon AU: Max 4 times or 1/3 of the night *winks* because supernatural & acker powers!

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No, they don't 🙈

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Goes without saying: a lot. Mikasa likes to wear Reiner's tshirts/ dress shirts at home to tease him. While Reiner likes to wear his reading glasses a lot at home because that is one of her biggest turn ons from him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Mikasa's the quiet one between the two and the loudest she'd ever been was just a deep, heavy whimper. Reiner's the louder one that sometimes Mikasa would have to smother him when they're having a quickie 🤣

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Even after more than 20 years together, Reiner and Mikasa still make out like they're teenagers - pretending to sneak around and grinding in hidden, cramped spaces away from their kids.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Mikasa : Dynamite & powerful grip - thighs and you-know-what (even after 3 kids!)

Reiner : Thicc - ass & this man is packing. He has girth!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest: 15 🤣 There's something about getting Mikasa to relax and laugh during their chill time, that just instantaneously revved up their engines at the same time. Reiner is a very tender, romantic person & Mikasa cannot resist it when he starts to tell her how much he loves her & appreciates her. He likes to kiss her hand when they're just hanging out even with friends. Everything Reiner does is genuine & that warms her heart everytime.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Reiner would be the first to go out like a light & Mikasa just likes to rest her head on his chest and hear his beating heart & relaxed breathing. Mikasa thinks Reiner's little snores are adorable. But when they're just cuddling on the couch, Mikasa would fall asleep first & Reiner would carry her to the bed.

-------------------

A/N: I had a lot of fun with this & I hope you'll enjoy it too! Thank you so much for the support & love 💖 xoxo More asks to come!

[anggecity]

Non-Japanese tries to explain the lyrics of "Black Gold" by otetsu ft. Megurine Luka

Note: I am not a Japanese speaker, so I depend on translation engines, and comments are always welcome.

Black Gold is one of otetsu-P's iconic songs featuring Megurine Luka. It's also one of my fave J-pop songs to listen to, so I got curious on what the lyrics meant...

TL;DR I think the song talks about a breakup, in simplest words. But it is not one that ended because of infidelity.

So first off, I'm checking the PVs if they could have highlighted other elements of the song. The original PV by meola is more of a still, exhibiting the sheen of gold, contrasting on a dark background. Meanwhile, Project DIVA's game video features Luka in a railway station, with black-gold motifs.

Down to the lyrics, I looked up one at Vocaloid Lyrics by user @vaffisuco.

On Vaffisuco's, there are some notes, possibly adding more context to the intended message:

1. Not quite sure what the little 'dot' means between 犠牲 and 代償。Here I just assumed these two were connected to one another grammatically and in context. 2. Unsure if the その覚悟 part connects with the next sentence cluster, and can't tell if the intonation is necessarily going down to indicate the end of a sentence. I decided to translate these sentences as such as to avoid a very lengthy English explanation. 3. Here I assume that the singer is verifying her existence/her failed relationship. She grasps the 'love' and the Black gold ring in order to leave her 'mark'. May possibly be referring to the existence of her ex, but I decided to translate this portion in first person.

Those notes aside, comparing it to DeepL and Google Translate, the human and engine translations mostly have the same translation. For comparison on engine translations, I merged lines per phrase, usually into ones or two whole lines. There is also one line-by-line at DeepL, as the line breaks sort of bring a different context, though still similar.

Altogether, the translations at the first verses present a confusing group of lines.

I was asked to decide which way to go, and I lied. The person who told me to go right went left. (from DeepL, merged lines)

As someone who also speaks Tagalog, I might see that "going left" can translate to "pangangaliwa" or a connotation of adultery/cheating. However, I am not sure if this is applicable in Japanese too. So I thought that it implies more of a backsliding, or a reversal of what was once promised.

To be able to breathe / So that I can live / Having to put it into words (from DeepL, line-by-line)

To me this implies that there had been an end of a connection in good terms, that ironically not staying true (lying) to one's initial words would mean being true to the next.

It must have been hard for you to put it into words, but you were still smiling, covered in scars. (from DeepL, merged lines)

There is a slight difference on translated syntax to different engines, but it is pretty consistent with all three presented translations here. However, for the next line, both line-by-line DeepL and merged lines at Google Translate show the same to who is expressing laughter, but differ to who apparently got the injuries:

You're covered in scars/ I was smiling (from DeepL, line-by-line)

It would have been painful to put it into words. I was laughing with all the scratches. (from Google Translate, merged lines)

And so is for Vaffisuco's and merged lines at DeepL, saying it's the other party that did so:

As I became covered in wounds / You laughed. (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation)

It must have been hard for you to put it into words, but you were still smiling, covered in scars. (from DeepL, merged lines)

I am not sure which among these translations fit the producer's intended message. Perhaps for one, it is open to interpretation. But I also think that the laugh can connote a "hiding the pain" (no reference intended), or it is more of a relief to one that broke the bond, that it had to be a relief for both.

The chorus translations are very similar. Vaffisuco's translation brings an imagery of, likely a lost possibility, a path that with this became a dead end.

Scared of the things that could separate us, / I averted my gaze and ran away / I stop in my tracks, my vision flickering / I am not prepared to be, or repay the victim* (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation) *The words translated were "犠牲" (sacrifice) and "代償" (compensation). Per the note, the translator "assumed these two were connected to one another grammatically and in context."

Vaffisuco's translation strikes me that it was a shock for the person, as if they were caught off-guard. At least as how I see it, the persona talks about how difficult something was to let go, and consequently "repay" the compensation that for one, will mend things altogether. I reckon a line confirms it, that they still have a significant attachment despite the breaking away:

I'm so, so scared of being separated, / I just want to be by your side (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation)

I'm afraid of being separated from you. I'm afraid.　 I wanted to be there. (from DeepL, merged lines)

Where Vaffisuco's (and another translation at LyricsTranslate) repeats with "or repay the victim", the engine translations seemed to show slight differences:

Stopping, hiding in plain sight The sacrifice, the price, I'm not prepared for [it] (from DeepL, line-by-line)

Stopping, sacrificing and compensating to appear and disappear (from Google Translate, merged lines)

The words may have resulted from completely different ways of extracting context from syntax, so here we are. But even so, the connotations share something in common. "To appear and disappear" presents itself in a way that there could be a sacrifice to begin with, to compensate in keeping, and the "stopping" in "[to] disappear". That's how I can interpret what I got from Google Translate. But for what DeepL showed, it could be reiterating the notion of not being able to accept for whatever had to be lost and "sacrificed".

The bridge builds up with lyrics that give a sense of "spiralling down". It likely, vaguely if anything, references fate being cruel.

So, what is the 'truth'? / Is it cold, hard metal? / Look, look at me walking! / Look, look at me walking! / So who was the one that made the decision? / Just where is our God? / Ah, how unfulfilling! (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation)

What's the truth, what's cold metal? Look at me, I'm looking at you, I'm walking backwards, When did God decide? I don't know where God is, I can't fill it, I can't fill it. (from DeepL, merged lines) *Without the rest of the lines, "埋まらない　埋まらない" becomes "I can't bury it I can't bury it"

I'm not sure what the "cold metal" is about, but a quick Google search of "冷たい金属だとか" showed this (and another random translation):

Could it mean that that the brink of sincerity becomes no more than gold, but that of silver? Could it be referencing the conductivity of silver? Or maybe it just generally refers to metal left in a cool temperature, that literally feels hard and cold to touch?

And down to the last two choruses... the lines changed, going to the song's conclusion.

Separating from you, I go far, far away / To the people who went left / I'll leave your last act of kindness right here / So it won't lose it's brilliance (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation)

To the one who went away, far away, to the left The last kindness you gave me, I'll leave it here so it doesn't fade away (from DeepL, merged lines)

Both DeepL and Google Translate shared very similar results. As for this, it bears acknowledgement on the other party, possibly memorializing the pleasant memories to be left behind.

What drives people apart / is that resolve for victims and their compensation I grasped the love dangling from my neck / and a black gold ring / So my footprints won't disappear (Vaffisuco's Vocaloid Lyrics translation) *Quoting the translator: "Here I assume that the singer is verifying her existence/her failed relationship. She grasps the 'love' and the Black gold ring in order to leave her 'mark'. May possibly be referring to the existence of her ex, but I decided to translate this portion in first person."

One of Vaffisuco's notes imply for the second last chorus that in times of trouble, people look for compensation and will do anything for it. It might try to say that at some point, vengeance is what pushes a person to act upon something; sometimes, this can be seen as closures, closing things. This is such that they believe that removing something from their live will make it easier, that it is a resolution on their part. (There definitely are more connotations that only human translators and native speakers can catch!)

To be separated from you The sacrifice, the price, the determination With [the] love around my neck and the black gold ring around my neck I'm trying to keep my footprints (from DeepL, line-by-line)

For the last chorus, I agree with Vaffisuco's note, seconding that the song is about a process of separation, when honesty is still honesty, and the difficulty of acceptance for one end (the persona). As for whose footprints are being kept, if it is decided that it was the persona's footprints, the persona wants to be remembered by one who left her. Otherwise, the persona wants to remember the other half, implied by the footprints.

As for the title "Black Gold", it can be interpreted in many ways. For English speakers, the phrase may be slang for "petroleum" as this resource in deposits had made certain countries rich by importation. But in jewelries, "black gold" refers to processed gold so its surface exhibits a black color.

Overall, the song shows itself as mysterious and poetic (especially that I am no Japanese speaker) with how the words are translated, and the implications I get by looking at how the syntax is processed for a language I am a native speaker of.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Like many other Gaylors, I'm fascinated with Taymily from a historical perspective. We know so little about it compared to Swiftgron and Kaylor, and wondering about which Fearless and Speak Now songs may be about Emily drives me mad with curiosity! However, I admittedly feel a little unconventional when people talk about Taymily without critically noting some things. First of all, I've heard from some people that Emily had a guy at home while touring with Taylor. (2/3)

I’m all for people exploring their sexuality, and Isupport open relationships as long as they’re honest and healthy, but if Emilyreally did cheat on a partner at home that’s not cool! Secondly, I feel alittle uneasy about Taymily because of the age gap between Taylor and Emily.Taylor was 16/17 when she dated Emily, and Emily was 21. I’m 17 now, and I’dfeel really creeped out if somebody older than 19 tried to start a romanticrelationship with me.

I don’t doubt that Taylor used to be very mature forher age as a teenager, but no matter how intelligent or wise you are as achild, an adult is still in an entirely different ballpark! There’s also thefact that as somebody way more experienced in the music industry, Emily wasprobably way more knowledgeable than Taylor about what a closeted relationshipwould entail. Taking that into account, I can’t help but feel sorry for Taylor.Emily left her when she was barely of legal age!

I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for Taylorwhen Emily decided as a fully-fledged adult that being in a gay relationshipwasn’t in her best interests after all, and that she’d rather have ‘a husbandand kids’. I don’t think Emily is an evil person or anything, but I reallycan’t ignore the power of position she was in this context. Do you get what Imean? (Also please just ignore my divisions now they’re a mess sksksksk I’msorry)

I hope I don’t sound accusatory in these asks, becauseI’m still as fascinated with Taymily as other Gaylors, and I’m not mad or angryat anybody for being interested in them. But I feel like it’s important to notethat Taymily may have been a bit ethically murky at the time, and that therelationship may have not been ideal or healthy. What do you think? I’m sorryfor spamming your inbox, and I hope this doesn’t annoy you ;-; Thanks forhearing me out!

–

Hello dear!

First of all you make a lot of valid points here and don’t sound accusatory at all, I think it’s really important to have conversations like this. Secondly don’t apologize for the divisions and the length, figuring out how much text fits into a tumblr ask is a serious pain and you are not annoying at all, I love getting long asks like this! Lastly, I hope that this ask is the first and not in fact the second one of all that you sent, because if the division on this one is correct I’m afraid I didn’t receive the first one.

Also sorry in advance if my response makes no sense it became somewhat messy at times…

Now for your points:

 Itseems Emily did have a guy back homeat some point, which I’m basing off of this comment by Taylor, astatement that she allegedly dropped when introducing Emily during the rest ofthe shows, causing some Gaylors to assume perhaps Emily broke up with the dudeonce she fell for Taylor and thus didn’t cheat on anyone, at least not for theentire duration of her relationship with Taylor (not that any cheating, nomatter how brief is okay, of course.) Although I can admit that the “whathappens in L.A stays here” is reminiscent of cheating, which noooo Tay!

According to thisarticle though, Emily married a dude she was friends with in high school, perhaps giving the impression to somethat she had been with him the whole time including her time with Tay, but thearticle makes sure to point out that they reconnected after Emily returned home having left her position in Taylor’sband.

Of course the boyfriend mentioned by Taylor inthat clip could have been a different man from the one Emily ended up marrying,but since Taylor dropped the “Emily-has a boyfriend”-part of her introduction Ithink it’s relatively safe to assume Emily was single for the majority of hertime working for Taylor.  OR the more funpossibility is that Taylor herself is the “boyfriend” mentioned in theintroduction and she’s just messing around, implicitly warning people not tohit on her girl :P I guess we will never know for how long (if at all) Emilyhad a boyfriend while being with Taylor, but I hope everyone broke up witheveryone else before entering a different relationship of course, regardless I thinkit’s safe to assume Emily is bisexual and might have been figuring that outduring her time with Taylor. (Not that bisexual people cheat or that figuringout your sexuality makes cheating okay in any way, just wanted to point out thefact that she’s most likely bi)

 Inall honesty the older I get the more uneasy I become with the age gap too, I firstdiscovered Taymily when I myself was 16 and at the time I had several friendsmy age who were all dating people in their early 20’s so I suppose in my socialcircles at that time that age gap didn’t seem too significant. Although Now I’m23, about a year-ish older than Emily was when she first started going out withTay and let me tell you, I would personally feel incredibly uncomfortabledating a 16-17 old at this point in my life and do now consider that age gap verysignificant.

I agree that Taylor has likely always been avery mature and wise-beyond-her-years sort of person, but that still mostdefinitely doesn’t make someone over 18 dating her at 16-17 okay, like you say, it’s anentirely different ballpark.

To be somewhat fair though, I do not thinkEmily was more experienced in the industry than Taylor, actually I think itmight have been the other way around, see Taylor had been writing songs in atleast a semi-professional setting since age 13 or so, Emily just applied to thepoison of fiddle player for The Agency (not yet called that at that time)straight out of college where she to my understanding had been studyingsomething unrelated to music, I don’t think she’d been doing music in such aprofessional sense before joining Team Taylor. 

Iwant to state before I continue that I am not defending Emily the adult’s decision to enter a relationshipwith a minor, but I can imagine thatliving in such close courters and being on the road trying to figure thismusic-industry thing out must lend itself pretty well for unexpected  things to happen between people and I do notthink either of the two planned to fall for each other. Was it inadvisable andunprofessional and like you say a little ethically murky? Most definitely, butit did happen regardless of anyone’s intentions, just as things in life tendto.

 I do feel like had Emily stopped to reflect on the decision she would’ve mostlikely come to the conclusion that a relationship with Taylor wasn’t the bestidea from an image or closeting standpoint, but I do not think either of themwere prepared for the pushback their relationship would receive from managementand I do believe the Emily’s forced dismissal was out of both of their handsand it likely wasn’t Emily’s intention to leave so abruptly.  That being said I do think Taylor held on tohope that they’d be able to be together romantically regardless of the firingand I do think Emily shot her down there. Without a question it would have beenEmily’s responsibility as an adult to look at their relationship more clearlythan Taylor could and I agree with you that choosing not to do so most likelyput Emily in a power position that is indeed hard to ignore!

 Asfor Emily’s comments about leaving Taylor because she “wanted a husband andkids” that does strike me as some powerful internalized homophobia which makesme sad (Em, gay people can have those things too but okayyyyy) And I too oftenthink about how upsetting and borderline traumatic the whole experience ofthe firing, vigorous closeting by management and breakup that followed that must have been for Taylor as a teenager. I do think that’s the reason we gotso many heartbreaking songs (such as All Too Well) where it does appear she’sworking through some serious life-altering trauma related to her love life andalso by extension all of the bearding and closeting that followed all of this.

As mylast point I just want to make absolutely clear that this is all speculation asto what happened between Taylor and Emily and how their relationship playedout, we will never know the facts. Furthermore, we all know that I am Taymily trash and will continue to enjoy this ship to the day I die, but this is a super important conversationto have as we continue to explore Taymily and other of Taylor’s relationshipsin an analytic light!

Thankyou so much for these asks, anon! 😊😊😊

[bisexualklausmikaelson]

Break up with your girlfriend I'm bored plus klayley

a/n: au college fic/ or Hayley Marshall follows the events of Ariana Grande’s latest music video -  threesomes et al. klaus/hayley, with a dash of klaus/hayley/caroline 1. because that video was p gay so I gotta include the gay in this fic and 2. because i’m sucker for threesome fics, sorry if it’s not exactly what you wanted.

―

He has a girlfriend, Hayley reminds herself as she watches him at his desk.

She is fixated by the color of his eyes - not quite like the sky, but a bit like the ocean when the light hits it just right. A bright blue with a bit of green in them, just like a painting.

“Miss Marshall,” her professor addresses her, snapping his fingers in front of her face. “You seem to be done with your quiz, since you’re day dreaming about― “

“When you’re going to shut the hell up and let me leave class?” She cuts him off, just at the moment where he’s about to embarrass her for spying on her crush.

The professor raises a brow at her and the whole class stares in awe.

Klaus releases a soft chuckle as he watches Hayley walk out of the room.

―

She walks in on them making out in  an empty science class during lunchtime.

Caroline Forbes is all kinds of beautiful - golden locks sparkling like the sun - almost blinding her. And lips that looked as soft as clouds. Her skirt is hiked up to her waist, revealing a string of a bright red thong and long pale legs accompanied by smooth, creamy skin.

Hayley unexpectedly licks her lips at the sight of the other girl tangled in Klaus’ arms.

“Seriously?” Caroline releases, noticing Hayley’s lingering stare.

The brunette then blinks twice before picking up the books she had left behind. “Sorry,” she stammers, cheeks turning bright red. “I just forgot these here,” she says, before bolting out of the classroom.

She hears Klaus laugh at her antics again and realizes that he must think she’s a total dork.

For this was the second time in the same day that she had made a fool of herself, right in front of him.

―

(That night, Hayley makes it home before Rebekah has the chance to make fun of her for today’s antics. Surely, her brother had told her all about both awkward incidents - and god knows that Rebekah loves to tease. 

Hayley crawls into bed, hands covering her face.

She’s so glad that the day was over).

―

Later that week, he makes an appearance at Kol’s Birthday Bash.

In retrospect, Hayley knew he’d be there, it’s his brother’s birthday for god’s sake. She blames Freya for dragging her out. She blames the free booze and pizza. She blames the fact that she craves attention and Elijah will be there to shower her with his affection.

She blames the new dress she bought - the short black one that Klaus saw her eyeing that one day he went shopping with her and Rebekah.

“You look nice,” She hears someone whispers, as she turns around to face him

“Klaus,” She stammers. “Thanks,” she mumbles, looking him up and down.  “So do you,” she admits noticing how the periwinkle of his tie against the darkness of his jet black suit complimented his eyes.

“This old thing?” he smirks, shrugging.

She’s quiet for a moment, looking around him to notice that he is alone. “So,” Hayley nervously starts again. “Just you, tonight?” she asks.

He shoves a hand in his pocket and frowns. “I’m afraid Caroline’s at home, sick with the flu,” he offers. “She’s been in bed all day,” he goes to say, with a sad tone in his voice.

Hayler bites her lip. She wasn’t used to being this close to him. “Sounds pretty bad,” she tells him instead, realizing that she could practically smell him.

“It is,” he nods. “I’m just making a short appearance here, giving my brother his present, then making my way back home to look after my lovely girl,” he smiles again, when he thinks of Caroline.

And then, Hayley notices that she can smell her scent on him as well. 

Honeysuckle drops with a hint of dark chai.

“How sweet,” she mumbles. “I hope she gets better soon,” she offers, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“As do I, sweetheart,” he agrees, eyes scanning the room to spy his younger brother. “I’ll see you around, pleasure chatting with you,” he then says, as he’s off to find Kol.

“Same here,” Hayley whispers, but he’s already left her side by then.

―

That same evening, she notices that he’s making a late night trip to the convenience store nearby. Hayley’s on her way back from the party as she notices how Klaus buys a few packs of chocolates, some painkillers, and a box of tampons.

She feels a smidgen of jealousy as she notices how completely whipped this guy is for another woman.

Although, Hayley does a damn good job of hiding how she feels - so she forces herself to look away, and continued her walk back home.

―

Final exams and graduation pass by almost too quickly.

The next significant time she bumps into him isn’t until the end of the year actually. Which was good in a way, because it meant that she had done a fantastic job of avoiding him.

Despite the fact that she lived with his sister and that they went to the same school.

“Are you coming to our celebration party tonight?” He always shows up though, somehow, at the most unexpected of times. And this time, he was standing in front of her car as she was making her way to it.

Almost as if he had been waiting for her. 

“I didn’t really plan on it, to be honest,” Hayley told him, while shoving her keys into her door.

“I’m surprised,” he releases softly, leaning a hand against her vehicle. “I thought my sisters dragged you along to all the Mikaelson events,” Klaus said, as her gaze finally met his.

He really had no idea what ‘personal space’ meant, she thought. “Yeah well,” Hayley shrugs. “I managed to convince them to give me a night off,” she offers him, trying to open her car door.

“It’s a shame,” Klaus sings, stepping out of the way so she can enter her SUV. “I was looking forward to seeing you,” he quips, in that charming little tone of his.

It makes her want to melt.

“Why is that?” Hayley asks.

“I just enjoy your company,” He answers her quickly, almost too-quickly.

After all, they had only spent a handful of moments together. She wonders how such little time with her was enough to intrigue him. Maybe, she really was clueless one around here.

“Klaus,” Caroline calls him, as she makes her way out of class to meet him at his car.

“Coming, darling,” he shouts at her. He turns to face Hayley one last time, wondering is his offer still stands. “Hayley, I hope you change your mind about tonight,” he says, before turning on his heel.

“Not likely,” she whispers, after he leaves,

―

(Her new set of expensive red lacy lingerie haunts her.

She had bought it as a graduation gift to herself - sick and tired of finding excuses to put off her purchase, she did this on a whim. Hayley curses herself for it. It’s not like she had anyone to wear it for anyway.

Or maybe she did - if she accepts the offer.

The brunette bites her bottom lip, stalling for time.

“Well,” she tells herself, slipping into it slowly, “might as well put this stuff to good use.” She sang, squeezing a tight dress over the set before heading out the door).

―

The Mikaelson graduation party is just as wild as any other event of theirs.

It must be damn nice to be part of a family of elites, Hayley thinks, as she ventures inside. 

She does everything she’s supposed to do: drink a bit from the champagne fountain, play a few rounds of beer pong, get tangled up in a game of twister, smoke a joint with the girls hanging out in the balcony. She even makes her way to the pool, where Klaus and Caroline are making out like animals.

She feels like a pervert - but she can’t help but watch them.

They’re all tangled limbs and tongues sliding and licking trails up each other’s bodies - Caroline’s perfectly manicured nails tracing pale red lines down Klaus’ porcelain back, his teeth nibbling at her ear, her eyes…eyeing her?

“Hayley,” she says, mid-make-out. “Come,” she curls a finger at the other girl, and beckons her to join them.

(Hayley Marshall, in all her life, had experienced very few ‘wild sex things’ - as she liked to call them anyway. There was that time Tyler Lockwood spanked and choked her a bit during sex, back in high school. That time Stefan Salvatore had sex with her on a public beach, at night. And that time she gave Elijah a blowjob while he was driving her home from a late night out drinking with Rebekah (with the other girl passed out in the back seat, of course).

Still, a three some had never been part of the equation.

Until tonight).

She slowly steps into the pool, making her way towards the hot couple in front of her.

“I knew you’d make it, love,” Klaus whispers, smiling.

Hayley nods, shyly.

And just before they kiss, Caroline swoops in, stealing Hayley’s lips away from her boyfriend.

“We’re going to have so much fun with you,” the blonde sings, before moving aside so Klaus can finally have his turn with the girl.

Hayley feels his lips right after Caroline’s and they both taste sweet.

She lets herself be devoured - wishing that this night would never end.

― 

[dyaz-stories]

The Maid and the Bodyguard - Chapter two

Chapter one - Next - Also available on fanfiction.net.

Kagome was a curious person. She knew it was bad. Well, not inherently bad, but it was definitely not something a good housemaid was supposed to be. Still, she just couldn't help it, even if sometimes it dragged her in rather uncomfortable situations. Maybe it was because, unlike most people here, she had been pushed to develop that curiosity. Her mother had made sure she learnt how to read and write, and as a result, Kagome had taught herself as much as she could through that. It wasn't much, because they couldn't afford teachers or books, but it was still very unusual for someone without a rank.

That was before her grandfather's death, though. After that, her family had lost all income. They were modest before that, only relying on what the priest could gather, but there was a significant difference between modest and starving. This was why Kagome had left when she had been given the offer to work at the castle. At least, that way, they would survive until Sota could start working. He was barely eight when she had left.

She had received a letter from her mother telling her about how him turning nine and their life since she had left, and she preciously kept it hidden in her room.

The safety of which she was currently leaving, after curfew, despite Ayumi's frantic recommendations not to.

With a quick look to both her left and then her right, she decided that things looked fine. She crossed the hallway running, her bare feet allowing her to be almost completely silent. She soon reached the room towards which she was heading and softly knocked against it. It slid open almost immediately, revealing a disheveled Nazuna. The girl had clearly been crying.

"Yes, what— Kagome?" Nazuna grabbed her arm and pulled her in the room, in which she stayed alone. Being the princess' personal maid had its advantages. They both sat on the floor, on Nazuna's mattress.

"I just wanted to check on you," Kagome explained, carefully keeping her voice low. "We didn't see you all day, and with what happened to the princess, we feared you were…" She didn't need to finish this sentence. Nazuna visibly shivered, like Kagome had done in the morning.

"It's nice of you," Nazuna commented. Kagome smiled. The other girl was more isolated due to her job, but they still knew each other enough for her to appreciate the gesture. "I'm… fine. I guess. I just…" She sighed and shook her head.

"It's alright," Kagome said gently, putting her arms around her. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."

"But I want to," Nazuna answered with a sob. "I can't keep it all to myself, I feel like it's driving me crazy. It's just, master Ungai, he said that if I ever talked about it he'd—" She hiccuped and pressed her hand against her mouth.

Kagome couldn't help the sudden anger that flowed through her veins. It was easy to guess that that… That awful man had threatened the traumatized girl. It made her want to scream. How dared they? Why was it that all these people considered their lives to be so completely worthless, just because they were born in the wrong place?

Why was there nothing she could do about it?

"It's alright," she whispered. "If you want to talk, I promise I won't tell anyone. If you don't, I can stay here a bit longer if you wish for my company."

Nazuna looked at her for a few seconds, before nodding. She didn't know why, but she wanted to trust Kagome. She had no reason not to. She knew that the girl was nice. After all, Kagome, being one of the only servants who could write and read, had helped her before writing to her dad and had read her his answers, written by the local priest.

"I was the one who… found it."

Kagome nodded, indicating her she was listening. So it was her scream that they had heard in the morning?

"There were p-pieces of bodies, and blood, everywhere," Nazuna cried. "And Inuyasha, he was lying on the ground."

That did surprise Kagome, although she tried her best not to show it. He had looked fine in the interrogation room. Surely, it couldn't have been all his blood. Nazuna was too focused on her memories to notice her confusion.

"Everything in the room had been destroyed, and the Princess, she was nowhere to be found. I remember screaming, and then I think I fainted. I woke up in the infirmary. Inuyasha was there too, but he was already awake and yelling at master Ungai." She shook her head. "It's just… I thought the princess was dead, Kagome."

"So it was Inuyasha's blood then?" Kagome asked, trying not to show too much interest. She didn't need anyone finding out about her stupid crush on the man.

At that, Nazuna simply shrugged. "I guess so. He's a half-demon after all, he would probably survive that." The disdain in her tone made Kagome stiffen, but there was nothing she could say. It was no good, showing sympathy for demons.

"Will you be fine?" she asked softly instead. "I can stay here until morning if you want me to."

But Nazuna shook her head, and wiped her cheeks, as if that would magically make her feel better. "I'll be fine, Kagome, don't worry. Plus, we'll both be in trouble if we're found out." She squeezed her hand. "Thank you for listening."

"Anytime," Kagome answered warmly. "Let me know if you want to write to your family again, okay?"

Nazuna nodded, and soon, Kagome was out in the hallway, running back towards her room. Just as she was going to slip in, a voice behind her made her freeze.

"Stop! Who are you and what are you— Kagome, is that you again?"

The girl cursed under her breath and then turned to give Hojo a smile that managed to be both sheepish and innocent. He had surprised her. She usually could tell when someone was behind her, but apparently, he was too far to be on her radar.

"Sorry, Hojo. I just wanted to check on Nazuna," she said while he walked towards her. To his confused look, she explained: "The princess' maid, the one who found the room this morning."

With another guard, she would have been in deep trouble. But Hojo was not only a nice guy, he was used to that type of stuff coming from her. Kagome would argue that it was definitely not her fault, of course. She couldn't help it, or she just had to be out that late! And he would always let her off with a mere remark.

"Oh," he simply said, nodding. "Well then, just hurry up inside before someone—"

"What the hell's going on here?" A voice barked.

Startled, both of them turned towards the place where it came from, Hojo reaching for his sword and protectively stepping in front of Kagome.

Standing there was Inuyasha, and Kagome held her breath. It was the first time she saw him from so close, and it wasn't exactly the best situation. He snorted at Hojo's move, obviously amused by the mere thought of the human man trying to fight with him, then reported his golden eyes on her. She felt her pulse rushing and hoped she wasn't blushing too much, but he didn't look at her for long. It was rather dark, with only one torch burning on the wall, and he visibly didn't really care for her.

"Any explanation, soldier?" he asked roughly.

Hojo straightened up. Like many men here, he didn't like being ordered around by a half-demon, but he accepted it out of respect for the princess.

"I was just escorting Miss Kagome back to her room because she was delayed tonight," Hojo explained. Neither Kagome nor Inuyasha missed the fact that he didn't add any honorifics, but Inuyasha didn't say anything, although Kagome couldn't help but notice how his ears drooped almost imperceptibly.

"Then what are you waiting for?" he barked. "What d'ya think this is gonna look like on a night like this?"

He stormed past them, leaving behind a surprised Kagome and an angry Hojo.

"Who the hell does he think he is?" he muttered. "If it wasn't for princess Kikyo's kind heart, he wouldn't even be alive."

"But he is, and he was protecting her," Kagome said dryly. Hojo looked down to her, blinking. He hadn't expected the lovely Kagome to retort anything to him.

"Oh how sweet you are," he said, smiling brightly. "It is just like you to want to defend everyone, Kagome. Now get in before anyone else comes by. I fear master Ungai wouldn't let you off like that."

Kagome nodded and managed to bring a smile to her lips when she answered "Sure, thank you, Hojo", before quickly getting into her room. Hojo stood there for a few more seconds, amused, and completely unaware of how annoyed she was.

As soon as she got in, her three roommates pretty much jumped on her, whispering heatedly to know what she had discovered.

"Would you calm down?" she finally protested. "I just checked on Nazuna, and she was fine!"

"Come on Kags," Yuka pleaded. "She must have told you something, right?"

"Of course not! She risks her job here, you know? With the princess gone, she probably doesn't even know whether or not they'll keep her!"

There were a few other whispers, but she just ignored them, and finally, the girls begrudgingly went back to their beds. Kagome did the same, happy to be able to lay down. She didn't give much thought to what had all happened. In her mind, there was no doubt that the princess would be found soon, and that everything would get back to how it all was before.

After that, a few days went by without any new events or informations. It wasn't like the domestics would have been told anything, but most of them could tell when there was a shift in the global atmosphere of the castle, and so far, there was simply nothing going on. Yes, globally, everyone was tense. The soldiers were particularly on edge, but the servants all remembered vividly the death threat that was above their heads, should anyone outside of the castle find out what was happening.

Kagome also kept an eye out for Inuyasha. She knew it was ridiculous, and the man certainly never seemed to notice her, but she just did. She saw him more during the week that followed the princess's disappearance than she had in the past eight months, since she had arrived here. He was always walking fast, seemingly ignoring the whispers he created on his way. Kagome had noticed that his ears were often twitching in the direction of the people talking though, so she wondered whether or not he actually heard it all.

The situation was probably particularly hard on him, she found herself thinking while tending to her chores. He was very attached to the princess, and he was the one who was supposed to be protecting her, so he must have been feeling awfully guilty about the kidnapping. Sometimes, she noticed him, jumping onto the walls around the gardens, and looking away. He never actually left, but she guessed he wanted to. Probably to go after the princess.

She wanted to talk to him more than once, but always felt intimidated. Everyone said he was agressive and rude, and so in the end, she didn't.

At least, until Hojo came to look for her. She was focused on washing sheets, and didn't notice him before he was right behind her. When he put his hand on her shoulder, though, she was aware of his presence, and could even guess it was him. She turned to look at him, worried. The other girls were focused on their work, but like Kagome, they had all mastered the art of watching without looking up.

"Hojo?" she asked. "What…"

"I need you to follow me, Kagome," he answered, his voice surprisingly formal. "You are awaited. If you could please come with me…"

He took a step, looking at her expectantly. Kagome knew she should just follow him, but she had no idea why he wanted her to go with him.

"But my work?" she said, only trying to gain time to figure out what on earth was going on.

Hojo simply shook his head. "It will be fine, Kagome. Now come, please."

She nodded shakily and started walking behind him. The only thing she could think of was the Queen's threat. But she hadn't said anything! What if she was accused of something she hadn't done? How would she get out of it? Oh God— If they learned she could read and write, it would make it much easier to accuse her, even though she was innocent.

It was with those thoughts in mind that Kagome was gently pushed in a room, in the Queen's part of the castle. It took her a second to understand that the Queen was there. The door slid close without her without a sound, and she moved to throw herself on her knees, but the Queen was quick to dismiss that.

"Please don't, child," she sighed, her voice tired. "Such formalities are not needed now. Is Inuyasha coming?" she asked, turning to master Ungai who was standing a step behind her.

"I sent for him," the man answered, immobile. "What do you think of her, my Queen?"

Kagome shot him a shocked glance. What did he mean by that? Why would the Queen know anything about her? She remained frozen as the Queen slowly towards her.

"Ye were quite right, Ungai," she commented, her one eye staring at Kagome. "Lean towards me, child," she ordered, "so that I can see you."

Kagome obeyed, vaguely noting the Queen's strong and oddly rural accent. She was pretty sure she had never heard it before. The Queen looked at her intensely, her pupil moving to take in the young woman's face, and finally nodded, apparently satisfied by what she was seeing.

"The resemblance truly is eerie."

"I noticed it instantly, my Queen," Ungai answered dejectedly, "and immediately thought it could be of use."

Kagome was lost. What resemblance? What use? What were they trying to do with her? In other circumstances, she would have assumed she was going to be sold in some underground market, but there was no way the Queen and the captain of the guards would do that… Right?

She didn't get much more time to think about it, because the door was suddenly opened and then closed in a violent movement.

"What d'ya want?" Inuyasha's angry voice growled.

Ungai took a step, his face morphing into a furious expression, but Kaede stopped him, simply by raising her hand.

"Inuyasha, I would like you to meet Kagome."

Kagome could only blink at the information that the Queen knew her name, but then turned, bowing, towards Inuyasha, who didn't pay any attention to her.

"Yeah I know, I smelled her before, what the fuck do you want me to—"

"Inuyasha. Just look."

With an annoyed sigh, he did look at her. Her heart was beating like crazy in her chest, and she hoped she wasn't blushing too much. It was the first time ever they actually… Well… Saw each other. Or at least, the first time he ever acknowledged her existence. She had been imagining that moment more than once, but she had never expected the look of surprise on his face, and she had certainly not expected him to turn back to the Queen and ask, obviously distressed: "Is that supposed to be a joke? Who is that?"

It would have been a lie if she said she hadn't felt hurt at how he vaguely gestured at her or how he addressed her. She felt herself shrinking back, trying to disappear. She knew she shouldn't have imagined this encounter so much. Reality was always less fun than what her mind put together.

"If it is a joke, tis destiny's," Kaede answered. "I had never met the girl before today. You must have seen her though, as Ungai mentioned you interrogated her together."

"I told ya, I smelled her, I didn't look at her. I didn't expect… Well, this."

Kagome was rather starting to lose her patience. They talked as if she wasn't even in the room, and it was really getting on her nerves. She knew better than to voice that, though, and she didn't open her mouth, patiently waiting for someone to explain her what on earth was going on.

"Now listen, children," Kaede said, and Kagome's eyes widened when she realized that she was talking to both her and Inuyasha. "We received alarming news today. Ungai, would ye please tell them about the letter?"

"What letter?" Inuyasha immediately asked. "Did you get news from Kikyo and didn't tell—"

"I recall telling you not being so familiar with the princess," Ungai's voice rung out, making Inuyasha's ears flatten against his head like Kagome had seen before. "Remember, without her here, your status is… uncertain."

Inuyasha didn't answer anything, although he certainly looked like he wanted to.

"Good. The letter we received came from a demon named Naraku. He said to be the one who has taken Princess Kikyo and—"

"Where is he?" Inuyasha hissed.

Kagome looked at him in surprise, confused by the low rumble she heard coming from him. Was he… Was he actually growling? He seemed furious enough to do so, but it was the first time she ever heard the sound.

"I would be faster if you stopped interrupting me!" Ungai snapped. "He apparently comes from the lands of the North, which is where he took the Princess. He seems to have some demonic ability that allows him to be very fast. He says here that he wants a… ransom."

"Well let's give that to him!" Inuyasha immediately said, obviously angry. "The fuck did you need a reunion for?"

Such language in front of the Queen seemed unimaginable to Kagome, but no one seemed shocked, even though master Ungai's eyelid twitched dangerously, so she guessed it was pretty normal for Inuyasha.

"What he is asking for is Kikyo's hand, Inuyasha," the Queen answered with a tired voice. "He wants to become King of this country."

Inuyasha went completely stiff at those words. He froze, and his mouth gaped open. Kagome couldn't tell what was going through his mind, no matter how much she looked at him, although she could definitely take a guess.

"Wh— And is that— Are you—"

"I am obviously not going to give my granddaughter away to some demon," Kaede answered, a spark of sympathy in her eye. "This is precisely why ye are both here."

Inuyasha frowned. Both? Who was the other one? Oh. Yeah. The girl. The one who looked so much like…

"Kagome," Kaede started. "I'm sure ye must be wondering why ye are here. What Ungai noticed, when he first saw ye, was how much ye look like my beloved Kikyo."

It was Kagome's turn to freeze. She didn't flinch, even when the Queen slowly moved her wrinkled hand to softly cup her cheek.

"We can't send men after this Naraku," Kaede explained. "People would understand that something happened in the castle, and we cannot have that happening. Other lords would take advantage of it. But we can send Inuyasha." So far, it all made sense. "With you."

Kagome numbly heard Inuyasha's protests, which she really should have felt offended by, but they just didn't seem to register. What the Queen had just said… It was impossible. It was stupid. It made no sense whatsoever.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Inuyasha was yelling. "Why would make me travel with that girl? What good's she gonna do? I'll be much faster on my own, and I'll get Kikyo out of there and bring her back here! I don't need no—"

"What do ye think people will do when they will see a half-demon alone, walking through the country?" Kaede asked, interrupting him. "They will either try to kill ye or capture ye, or they will recognize ye and understand that ye are here for the princess. But with her… With her, they will probably assume that she is the princess, and she is just traveling the lands. That way, ye will be safe, which means more chances to get Kikyo back here. Ye will be on yer own out there, Inuyasha. We cannot risk losing ye. Ye know Kikyo would not forgive me for that."

That was stupid, and no one in the room was missing it. He could die out there, and what would Kikyo say then? But the argument seemed to work on Inuyasha, and he nodded slowly.

"Kagome," Kaede continued, "if ye accept to do this, ye will be sent back to yer family with enough money to provide for them for the rest of their lives and yers." At those words, Kagome felt like she had stopped breathing. She hadn't really considered refusing, not if Kikyo's life was at stake, but this seemed like a miracle. All she had to do was travel with Inuyasha basically pretending to be the princess?

"I-I will," she stuttered with several nods. "I— Yes. I will go."

She heard Inuyasha's scoff.

"She'll have to do a lot better than that if she wants people to believe that she's Kikyo." His voice was full of deference. "We sure are lucky that there ain't any other demons here, 'cause that smell sure wouldn't have fooled them."

Kagome shot him a shocked look, and her lips moved before she could think. "Are you saying that I smell?" she asked. She instantly wanted to take back the words, certainly not wanting to anger the man she was going to travel with — and not wanting to anger that man in any way, dammit — but she just stared at him, refusing to apologize.

Inuyasha smirked mockingly. "Look at that, she can talk!"

She had never wanted to slap someone so much in her entire life. And she had an extremely annoying little brother.

"Kagome, go pack," Kaede ordered. "The two of ye will leave tomorrow at dawn. Ye are now dismissed. I still have instructions for Inuyasha."

Kagome gave a deep bow and walked out, thinking nothing of it. Inuyasha probably had specific informations that he needed, as to what to do once they'd reached that Naraku's place, that sort of things. For once in her life, she wasn't curious.

Maybe she should have been.

"Better get more convincin' than you were before," Inuyasha said as soon as Kagome was out. "Cause there ain't no way you're making me take her for safety. That can't be good for either of us."

Kaede nodded solemnly. "Ye are right, Inuyasha. I expect ye to get Kikyo to escape, or to make sure, at whatever cost, that she comes out alive." Inuyasha's face darkened. She was asking him to kill for her. And the worst part was, she knew he would do it if Kikyo's safety was at risk. Fuck. He hated killing. "However, should ye not feel like this is a possibility…"

She paused, and Inuyasha could tell that she wasn't comfortable with whatever it was that she was thinking. She closed her eye, and Inuyasha waited for as long as he could before he lost her patience.

"What now?"

Kaede opened her eye and looked at him.

"I want ye to substitute Kagome with Kikyo."

Inuyasha blinked. This… felt wrong. He didn't know the girl, didn't really care for her, but this still didn't sound right.

"You sure?" he simply asked.

Kaede sighed, which didn't surprise him. If his conscience had a problem with that, there was no doubt hers was probably screaming at her right now. However, it was clear that the queen had made her decision.

"Yes. These lands need their Queen. Kikyo has many powers, and she will do a wonderful Queen, as soon as she'll get married. We cannot have a succession war, and the only way to make sure this doesn't happen, is by bringing her back here. Do ye understand, Inuyasha?"

He gulped down. He felt a weird lump in his throat. He wasn't used to the feeling of guilt, and it had haunted him way too much in the past week. He knew Kaede was right, probably, but the truth was, he didn't really care. All he cared about was Kikyo — or that was what he kept repeating himself. Made it easier not to get hurt at the rest of the world hating him. If people got hurt on his way to her, then it was what it took. He nodded.

"I'll do what's necessary. But demons may not be fooled very long."

Kaede seemed relieved at that.

"Very well then. We do not need long. We just need ye to bring Kikyo back. Ye will take her bow and arrow to her, and then she should be able to deal with the situation herself." There was a silence after that, during which she looked lost in her thoughts, before she blinked and glared at him. "Ye should go start packing now."

Inuyasha nodded, and that was the only salute she got before he left. Once he was outside, he grinned joylessly. Like she didn't know as well as he did that he had nothing to take with him…

"You did the right thing, my Queen," Ungai said in the now almost empty room.

"I know that is what my mind recommends," Kaede said, looking exhausted, "but I cannot get my heart to agree to it. I will pray for all those children to return safely."

She was convinced that this needed to be done, if the situation she had mentioned to Inuyasha was to occur.

She just would never forgive herself if it happened.

[sweetpea-skarsgard-blog]

Heyy how doing ? Request for a ship please if doesn't bother with golden trio era and tvd i'm a 5.3 french straight women with tanned skin and brown hair and Brown eyes with a personnality of a slytherpuff (weird i know) .i've got trust and self issues i'm nerdy but also sporty and i love doing domestic things i'm pretty independent and love art and animals more than human relatioships sometimes but otherwise i'm funny really loud (witout doing it on purpose) but sensitive,clumsy, caring

Hi there! I’m doing great today, actually. 

V A M P I R E   D I A R I E S 

Significant other: i would ship you with Stefan. He would think that you’re adorable, no matter how much you tried to show him that you’re tough.. it would be a struggle. Of course the taller man would also tease you about your height often. 

How you met: The two of you met in an unfortunate situation, when you were being attacked by a vampire. He ended up staking him, and then feeding you his blood to make sure you healed. 

Cute date: Stefan would take you on dates to the Mystic Grill, or plan something extravagant right in his own backyard. He doesnt need to eat, but he would actually cook for you, or buy your favorite take out. 

Best Friend: Elena Gilbert  the two of you would get along well due to your complimenting personalities. Both being into sports, trust issues.. the two of your would try and get eachother through your problems. 

Enemy: Katerina Petrova- She would hate that you have Stefan’s attention seeing as she still insists that she is in love with the man. 

H A R R Y   P O T T E R 

Significant other: I ship you with Ron Weasley. He would love the domestic side of you,a s well as the sporty side, seeing as he would have someone to talk Quidditch with. 

How you met: You would have met in your first year potions class, Ron was having some trouble but you helped him out. 

Cute date: Ron would take you on a broom ride around the grounds of The Burrow, Or he would take you for some Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks

Best Friend: Ginny Weasley because she is also sporty, and independant. The two of you would be the best of friends, especially seeing how you would love taking care of her pet Pygmy Puff. 

Enemy: Pansy Parkinson she is very snooty and stuck up- so naturally you wouldn’t give her the time of day when she tries to bully you. that always drives her crazy, especially knowing that no matter how hard she tries,she will never surpass you. 

REQUEST SHIPS

[skuds-blog]

2018 Investment Outlook For Stocks, Bonds, And Real Estate: The Last Easy Year

Before you read my investment outlook for 2018, you must first understand my financial situation and my biases. Our biases often warp our reality by anchoring us to past situations.

Permanently left work in 2012 at the age of 34

Net worth got crushed by ~35% in 2008-2009

Small business owner who will benefit from the new tax plan

New father with a spouse who is a full-time mom

Favorite asset class is real estate with three physical properties in CA, one in HI

Worked in equities for 13 years at a couple large investment banks

Have significant investment positions in stocks, bonds, and real estate

With this background information, I believe 2018 will be the last year of “easy money,” where assets remain relatively stable as they track historical returns. Let's discuss each asset class in a little more detail.

Stock Market Outlook: One Last Hurrah

According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, small businesses account for 48% of national employment. In number, they represent 99.7% of all businesses in the country. In other words, it is the guy with the plumbing store or the gal with the digital online marketing agency who make up a massive part of the American economy.

Based on my interactions with other small business owners, everyone I've talked to is extremely excited about lower taxes and potentially less red tape. It's really “less red tape” that most owners are looking forward to, and not so much the 20% deduction of qualified small business income.

As business owners, we hardly EVER feel the government is on our side because we've got to: 1) pay license fees, 2) pay special small business taxes, 3) pay both sides of the FICA tax, 4) pay an accountant to figure out our more complicated taxes, 5) wonder why we can't collect unemployment after our business goes under, and much more.

With the passage of the new tax plan, there is finally hope the government is now on our side. Having a tailwind feels so much nicer than facing a headwind while climbing a hill – which is often what running a business feels like. As a result, I believe there will be a natural inclination to reinvest in our respective businesses and ultimately grow revenue. Higher revenue growth equals higher profits and higher company valuations.

Publicly traded companies are just a larger reflection of privately owned small businesses. And I think the mood in the boardroom is as bullish as ever with a 21% permanent corporate tax rate.

When there is business euphoria, as there is now, valuations matter less. The chart below is the S&P 500 Case Shiller P/E ratio as of January 2018. Instead of investors now thinking 33.27X is too high, investors are now thinking there's another 10X multiple higher to go until we reach 2000 peak bubble levels.

Investors aren't really thinking we're going to get to 44X, but it's nice to know we still have this historical valuation buffer before everything blows up. After all, corporate cash balance sheets are massive compared to 2000, rates are accommodative, taxes are lower, and earnings are still growing.

Given we're now in the final stages of a blow off where it's liquidity, excitement, and FOMO driving the markets, I expect to see the S&P 500 breach 3,000 in 2018. If we get back to 2000 peak level valuations, we're talking ~3,600 on the S&P 500, which ain't going to happen. I expect downside risk of 10% for an even risk / reward ratio. I'm buying the dips.

Related: The Proper Asset Allocation of Stocks And Bonds By Age

Bond Outlook: Lower Interest Rates Forever

I've said this before, and I'll say it again: we are in a permanently low interest rate environment. The 10-year bond yield has been going down since the late 1980s due to information efficiency, globalization, and policy efficacy. I expect interest rates to remain accommodative for the rest of our investing lives.

For 2018, I'm looking for another sub-3% level for the 10-year bond yield, and more likely an average of 2.6%, despite a couple more Fed Funds rate hikes expected this year. In other words, I expect bonds of all types to at least provide a total return equal to their coupon return as principal values hold rock steady. 

With the Fed raising the short end, and longer term rates staying steady, the yield curve is flattening. Historically, a flat or inverted yield curve portents an imminent recession as higher rates on the short-end choke off credit growth, make existing credit more expensive and curb excess reserves, thereby slowing the economy.

But if the Fed is really going to cement itself as an inflation fighter, then this belief gives confidence for bond traders to invest in longer duration Treasuries at lower yields because no accelerated inflation is expected. Hence, I'm confident investing in 20-year municipal bonds that pay a 3.5% – 4% tax free yield for the low risk portion of my net worth.

We will know the end is near if the Fed raises the Fed funds by 1% and the long end remains flat. That's when inversion occurs and should have enough time to reduce our risk exposure by then. I expect downside risk of half the coupon bond yield. I'm buying muni bonds whenever the 10-year bond yield goes above 2.6%.

Related: The Case For Bonds

Real Estate: A Tale Of Two Cities

Remember how I said in June 2017 that the rental market was soft in San Francisco due to a large supply of new condominiums and nose-bleed level rents that far outpaced wage growth? From 2H2015 to May 2017, I rented out my house for $8,800 – $9,000/month.  When I tried to get prospective new tenants to pay the same rent in May 2017, I got zero takers, despite aggressively marketing the house for 45 days. The best two offers I got were for $7,500 from a divorcee with an unstable startup and from a family of six with a dog. So, instead of going through the pain of continuing to be a landlord, I sold the house for a little over 30X annual gross rent.

The numbers are finally showing up in the data. Check out the rent prices for one bedroom and two bedrooms in December 2017 according to Zumper. If there was a three bedroom segment, I'm sure the numbers would look even weaker. Like stocks, real estate prices should trade on earnings fundamentals. With a decline in rent in so many of the most expensive cities and new negative tax laws in effect, real estate prices should remain weak in the most expensive markets.

Take a look at NYC housing market data from Douglas Elliman. Sales volume and prices headed down in 4Q2017 as buyers took a wait-and-see approach regarding the tax plan. Now that the tax plan has passed, it is worse than most people expected due to the $10,000 SALT cap and the $750,000 mortgage cap for interest deduction.

Real estate investors should view NYC and SF as “leading indicators” of what should be expected for other expensive real estate markets. Now that prices are softening, you should be in no rush to buy. Be picky about what's likely going to be the largest purchase of your life. Focus on location and expandability, the #1 way to increase your chances of making money in real estate. If you can build for $200/sqft and sell for $400/sqft, you win. And most of all, run the numbers to see if valuations make sense.

With the slowing of coastal city real estate, it's only a matter of time before non-coastal real estate slows as well. But figuring out the timing of when the slowdown will occur and by how much is the biggest conundrum. Three to five years tends to be a good lag, so we can make an educated guess that between 2019 – 2021 is when the data will appear. Let's just say 2H2020 to be more precise.

I don't think there will be more than a 5% – 10% correction in coastal city or non-coastal city markets over the next couple of years because the economic engine is still quite strong. Further lending standards have tightened since the last financial crisis. Therefore, if you're buying a home to live in for the long term, you should be fine.

Some folks have questioned the wisdom of my $810,000 investment in real estate crowdfunding outside of San Francisco. Understandable, given the absolute dollar amount sounds large. But I had a $2,740,000 position in a single SF property with a $815,000 mortgage where rents are declining. Therefore, I've reduced risk exposure while diversifying into 12 different non-SF properties where rents are stronger. Further, I keep my alternative investments to no more than 10% of my overall net worth and still have three California-based properties to manage.

Enjoying One Last Year Of Great Times

As a business owner, I haven't been this bullish since 2007, when I got promoted to Vice President at my banking job. Of course a year later, shit hit the fan and I saw a 35% destruction to my net worth in a matter of months. If a downturn happens again, I'm better prepared because I've got far more passive income streams, a variety of defensive investments, and a much lower debt to equity ratio.

If one can get a 10% return in stocks, a 4% return in bonds, and an un-levered 5% return in real estate without much volatility, I say that's pretty easy money. If I can get these types of returns, perhaps I'll finally be satisfied with a blended 2% – 3% guaranteed rate of return in retirement.

If you haven't done so already, run your investment portfolio through an investment analyzer to see what your latest exposure is to the market. Then carefully analyze your net worth composition and make sure you are comfortable with its construction. I wasn't entirely comfortable about my net worth composition in 2017, but now I am for 2018.

Sample Investment Analyzer by Personal Capital

Readers, what are your thoughts about the stock market, bond market, and real estate market? How are you positioned for 2018? Please also share your background and biases. As always, do your own research and invest based on your own risk tolerance.

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