#I'm pretty sure it's ness but honestly with this cast it could be anyone

[explomb]

That's vile 💀💀💀

[chrysanthemumgames]

Could you talk a bit more about why you wanted gender and pronouns to be seperate options? I'm making my own twine game, but I'm kinda confused on how it would affect the story.

Sure! So.

For one, as you probably know, they just are factually separate things. You can be a nonbinary person and use exclusively she/her, and it doesn't make you a woman. One way to handle this coding wise is, of course, to just let people choose the pronouns so the game knows what to display, and let the reader imagine their character as whatever gender they are! And that's totally valid, as long as the game never needs to know what gender they are, which honestly... most don't.

So why bother setting gender at all? Well, as far as I can tell, there's two reasons why you might want to. One is just... a certain sense of official-ness. I think I can safely assert that a lot of nonbinary and trans folks are used to kinda... finessing headcanon and maybe occasionally ignoring canon to be able to sneak in anything that feels like rep of themselves in their player characters, never mind the rest of the game.

Everyone being on the same footing in terms of "your gender is whatever you imagine and the game doesn't declare it" is one way of bringing parity (a way I also use sometimes), but of late I've been kind of coming down on the side of letting the player make it explicit because even if, say, a trans and a cis man are treated exactly the same at all times by the story and the characters because the difference doesn't matter to the game at all, well... I think there's something to be said for the player with the trans PC knowing that the character is trans, is recognized as trans, and is still treated the same by the game. Speaking for myself, it can actually be super refreshing when I play an NB character and the game "knows" but nobody cares or bothers me about it or gets my pronouns wrong haha.

But the second reason you might do something like this (at least that I can think of right now), is that, well, it might make a difference sometimes! I'm not talking about like... writing in discrimination for "historical accuracy" or whatever—I think there's probably a time and place for that, but it'd take a whole lot more effort and sensitivity than most people probably want to give it, etc. But what I'm really referring to is chances for the topic to come up, e.g., with cast members who are also trans, or enby, or what have you. It can be refreshing for it not to matter, but at the same time, generally speaking being of one gender is a different experience than being another, even if that's just in terms of something like 'what other people tend to expect of you.' When you consider being enby, or trans, or fluid, there's additional different life experience on top of that, and it can, sometimes, feel like a lot of what comes one's way in life has to do with it.

And it can be nice, too, if rather than making no difference, this locus of experience is something that can be discussed and shared, particularly with characters in the narrative who would realistically be able to relate. Based on what kind of world it is, gender might not matter too much (it barely does in FoA), but there's still elements of experience that are going to be shared even then. For example, whether or not anyone makes a big deal out of it, Alekto has transitioned. That's a thing she's done, and a PC might also have done. That's a pretty natural thing for them to talk about at a certain point in a friendship.

So even if I just end up giving a few small conversational opportunities for something like this, I think, for a game like FoA, that's worth it, because FoA has a lot of emphasis on getting to know its characters not really because you're all out to save the world/solve the mystery/win the war, but because you're all living together now and need to figure out how to get on. It might not be the kind of thing that fits into every game, and that's okay!

[joannalannister]

Ok I'm sorry I'm asking a lot of questions. Do you think Jaime has a stronger feminine side/is more in touch with his feminine side then most guys in westeros due to his hella close relationship with cersei? And if so, how does it manifest itself in his thoughts/feelings/actions/beliefs? Also, do you think Jaime thinks about women in general differently then other men due to his relationship with cersei? (Btw I've also sent a similar q to queenaly to see what she has to say - is that ok?)

I thought about this for a few days, and I guess I’m not sure what it means for Jaime to be “in touch with his feminine side”? What is a feminine side, exactly?

For example, when Jaime and Cersei switched places as children, Jaime might have picked up a few skills that are considered more “traditionally feminine” like sewing – but Tyrion knows how to sew as well, and he specifically says he enjoys needlework, so could we also say that Tyrion is also more in touch with his feminine side? And Jaime occasionally dressed in Cersei’s clothes as a child, but Samwell was also dressed in women’s clothing as a child, so does that make him more “in touch with his feminine side”? 

So I guess I don’t think it has to do with activities or clothing. But I don’t know if the conventional definition of being “in touch with his feminine side” has to do with those things?

I’m literally gonna go google “in touch with his feminine side meaning” because I don’t know how else to approach this? 

OK top result on google: “6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Side.”  This is how it starts:

Everyone has feminine and masculine qualities that define who they are. Your masculine side gets expressed when you’re working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward. 

Ok, wow, y’all should see my face rn reading this is sexist bullshit. I didn’t know that getting shit done was considered masculine.

Google Result #2: “In Touch With His Feminine Side -TV Tropes”

A character who is In Touch With His Feminine Side, also known as a Tomgirl or Janegirl, is a male who lacks certain stereotypically male traits and may adopt some stereotypically girlish traits. Such characters are sometimes referred to as being “sensitive.”

Ok, this is slightly more useful. TV Tropes goes on to list a number of traits, so let’s see if those apply to Jaime:

Lack of athleticism - nope, not Jaime.

Lack of aggression - ohhhh boy, definitely not Jaime

An Open, Emotional Personality - No? Jaime’s rather emotionally guarded? It took him ~16 years to open up about killing Aerys.

Typically (traditionally) feminine interests - No. Jaime likes “swords and dogs and horses”. He “thirsts for battle” 

Effeminate or Non-Masculine Appearance - No. “This is what a king should look like.” 

“To qualify a character must have a large percentage of these traits and/or have their effeminate-ness be remarked on in-universe“ - No.

Imma say no, not in touch with his feminine side by this definition. 

But I think this feminine side/masculine side thing is kinda BS to begin with 

(women aren’t athletic? Catelyn Stark wasn’t ready to murder people with her bare hands on behalf of her family? Women have a monopoly on emotions now? See, this is BS) 

so let’s try a slightly different question:

Compared to the average male, does Jaime have a better understanding of the female experience in Westeros, given his incestuous relationship with his twin sister?

I think not. 

(Honestly, text format can never accommodate my sweeping hand gestures while answering questions.)

Take it away, Cersei:

“Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. ‘What do I get?’ I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime’s lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood.“

“But you were queen of all the Seven Kingdoms,” Sansa said.

“When it comes to swords, a queen is only a woman after all.”

Westeros systemically denies women their humanity. Even a queen is worth so much less to Westeros. 

I don’t think Jaime could ever understand what it was like for Cersei to have her body commodified and sexualized since childhood, to be wedded off without any say at all, to be raped as often as Robert liked, whenever he liked, without any recourse at all. 

I don’t think Cersei ever shared or expressed these things to Jaime, either. For example, I don’t think Cersei ever told Jaime how Robert would hurt her: “Never on the face before. Jaime would have killed him, even if it meant his own life.” If Robert had hit Cersei in an obvious place that wasn’t covered up by clothes, one that Jaime could see, Jaime would have flown into a murderous rage. So Cersei has to hide that shit.

(I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but I think Cersei is very guarded, even around Jaime? Like, I don’t think she confides everything to him. She never told him about the valonqar, she didn’t tell him about Robert’s abuse, she didn’t want to tell Jaime about Rhaegar as a child when she was drawing that picture. And same goes for Jaime - Jaime didn’t tell Cersei about the wildfire / killing Aerys. Even in his own POV, Jaime leaves so much unsaid to Cersei / says it only to us. How close are Jaime and Cersei, really?)

(God, I sound like an anti! Sorry! But my love for Cersei and Jaime derives from the tragedy of their relationship. Their misconceptions. The ways they hurt each other. The intensity of their love and hate. Their mutually-assured destruction. Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold….) 

Also. There’s this passage in AFFC, and it has one of my favorite lines:

“I took her on Raymun Darry’s bed after stepping over Robert. If His Grace had woken I would have killed him there and then. He would not have been the first king to die upon my sword … but you know that story, don’t you?” He slashed at a tree branch, shearing it in half. “As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ‘I want.’ I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead.” The things I do for love. “It was only by chance that Stark’s own men found the girl before me. If I had come on her first …”

“As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ’I want.’

Jaime thinks he understands, he thinks Cersei wanted something as simple as one dead child. 

I don’t think he understands at all. 

Cersei’s wants are so deep, so vast, that she doesn’t even have the words to articulate them. “I want _______.” 

Cersei wants everything, she wants it all, everything that’s been denied to her. 

And Jaime’s had all these things. They all came so easily to him that he valued them very little. 

“You were Robert’s queen. And yet you won’t be mine.”

I really don’t think Jaime understands at all.

(If anyone understands what it’s like to be Cersei, and what a precarious position she’s in, I think that’s Tyrion. Cersei was denied, because she is a woman. Tyrion is denied because he is not able bodied. Like, there’s this quote of Tyrion’s in AGOT: 

“Tyrion wondered what it would be like to have a twin, and decided that he would rather not know. Bad enough to face himself in a looking glass every day. Another him was a thought too dreadful to contemplate.”

That’s one reason why Cersei and Tyrion hate each other. They’re twins, in a way. It’s hard enough for each to face himself/herself. Cersei and Tyrion facing each other … “too dreadful to contemplate.”)

So how does Jaime’s complete lack of understanding of the female experience manifest itself?

In really gross ways tbh:

Sansa Stark, that ought to put a smile on Tyrion’s face. He remembered how happy his brother had been with his little crofter’s daughter … for a fortnight.

When Jaime hears that Tyrion has married Sansa, he thinks nothing about how Sansa was a hostage, married off into the family who murdered her father. He thinks nothing about a little girl, not yet 13 years old, being forced into a relationship where she must always be available for sexual intercourse with a member of the family who murdered her father. 

Literally all Jaime’s think of is, “Way to go, bro!”

Sure, in very obvious cases of rape, Jaime is against it. For example, he wants to protect Rhaella from her husband, because he could hear her crying out. Jaime’s not 100% awful. 

But it didn’t really bother him that Sansa could have been raped on her wedding night. 

And now he wants to smash Cersei’s teeth in, because she’s slept with other people. He’s mad at her, because she hasn’t been faithful, without understanding that Cersei never had the luxury of being faithful to Jaime. 

Jaime’s misogynistic. He’s not as bad as someone like Randyll Tarly, but that’s setting the bar pretty damn low. 

So I’m sorry, I don’t think this was the answer you wanted. 

You said you also sent this question to @goodqueenaly? She writes much better things than I do, so maybe she can give you a better answer?