#I'm over exploited
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eleanorbloom · 2 years ago
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#I'm this 🤏🏻 close to reconsider my friendship with my so called friend#Maybe I'm the problem because I always end up falling apart from my best friends#But I'm tired she complains about everything#Her life is the worst#Her day at works was the worst#I'm over exploited#Bla bla bla always something to complain#She sends me memes and tiktoks and I take the time to watch all of them and comment or reacg#I send them stuff and she doesn't even open the damn message#This has been for months now#I told her I felt bad about it and she said she would be more carefuk#But here we go again#More than a day and she hasn't even opened the damn text#And her profile full of stories#This might be stupid and childish#But I'm done with this crap#I understand we're adults and we have priorities and shit#But I feel like she ignores my messages consciously#She knows I sent stuff and she prefers to ignore it#Im not saying she should reply a testament about the memes#She could just react to the damn thing and it would be okay#But she doesn't even open the damn chat window#And when I text her in WhatsApp she replies the next day always saying sorry that she was partying and the she had to go out and shit#But of course she has five minutes to post 9374748383 stories on ig#But to reply to one damn text#No time#I actually don't care if I end up alone or we break up#But we've been friend for like 5 years#Maybe not the much but we've been through a lot#But I think I don't deserve to be ignored like this
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trans-axolotl · 2 months ago
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.” but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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theabigailthorn · 11 months ago
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You're not uniquely talented or hard working you just went to the right schools.
Yes, yes! This is exactly why I started Philosophy Tube! Why shouldn't someone else, anyone else, have access to the education I got??? The intellectual and cultural heritage of our species is for everyone, not just privileged people like me! :)
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epickiya722 · 7 months ago
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You know what, Sukuna lowkey had it out for Choso since Shibuya. Probably did not like the fact that Yuji had someone, actual family... an actual blood brother that cared about him. He been had plans to kill him, I just know it.
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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canisalbus · 10 months ago
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sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful
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l832 · 2 years ago
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wisteriasymphony · 3 days ago
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are we gonna talk about how buttercups are poisonous and cause mouth blisters orrrrrrrrrr.........
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talesfromthecrypts · 2 years ago
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Its a good thing that younger characters are played by people over 18. Its good that Ellie isn’t played by a 14 year old, that Armand isn’t played by a teenager, that Claudia was aged up and then played by a 19 year old. These practices keep minors safe, from a predatory industry and from people fudging labor law constraints. Especially on shows that are 90% night shoots where a child cannot legally work that long (like say IWTV). Its also better for the show as you have a more experienced actor, both professionally and personally. 
Film and TV productions are not like books! There are real people filming that you need to take into account when it comes to what the characters do and who you cast. Rules around the safety of minors (and ALL actors) are more important than a character being portrayed exactly as you see them in your head. The people who make your entertainment, cast and crew, are real people maybe talk about them like they are and not just dolls to make your perfect vision.
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borgialucrezia · 11 months ago
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the irony of cesare slutshaming juan for sleeping in brothels had me with tears in my eyes considering his very first scene in the show is him rawdogging a prostitute like his life depended on it...like babygirl we see you!!!
#like they're such whores i'm screaming!! but also so on brand when you think of it. since the real ones both were fucking sancia byeee#i believe the scene where cesare fucks that girl is just a glimpse of the show adapting the Real cesare's General Manwhorishness™ though!#if you're the borgia family enthusiast you already know that cesare has sired 7 illegitimate kids because of his romantic exploits lmao#cesare borgia i love your hypocritical ass fr like yessss#also love their rivalry so much because there's cesare who always wanna one-up juan in every aspect and be seen as the serious and driven#which is true about the hypercompetent and ambitious part!! but he fulfills his duty in the family in ways that are not conventional#meanwhile with juan...he fully embraces his hedonism and isn't ashamed of it. while he's aware that cesare outdo him in everything...#the only thing he has over cesare is his position as a gonfaloniere!! so he winds cesare up with flexing it!!!#the difference is cesare is as much as he hollers about doing everything for the family...he pretty much does it mostly for selfish reasons#his desperation for juan's position and rodrigo's attention made him sabotage the family more than persevering it etc#while juan is genuine but is reckless and incompetent but he Really tries yk? he really does! but he spiraled bc he feels weak and insecure#oh well both brothers are idiots in their own ways#i miss them fr#cesare borgia#juan borgia#the borgias#juan and cesare#text post
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heybiji · 1 year ago
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supe npc (Then and Now) for a MASKS: A New Generation game I'm gonna be running for some friends. TrueStrike, mentor to the protégé character. left was him before he disappeared from the public eye after the intense ridicule brought on from accidentally killing destroying a city institution: the giant, beloved balloon mascot of the city's favorite donut shop (Dino Donut, the D-Rex, of Dino Donut), traumatizing a generation of children who loved it and all the adults who grew up with it. there were a lot of kids screaming, crying, The Day Dino Donut Died. The Dino Donut balloon has since been replaced with a statue of a hipper version of the D-Rex that wears a backwards baseball cap and everyone hates it.
TrueStrike currently lives inside a storage unit, monitoring the city with all his high tech computers as he sinks deeper into paranoia and self-pity, missing his ex-wife and kid, and tries not to spend too much time refreshing the FUCK TRUESTRIKE geocities page. he mostly uses his protégé to get him pizza.
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thunderboltfire · 1 month ago
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Look at this pic of my Baldur's Gate protagonists' enseble chilling in a tavern, made by wonderful @kathi-langley !
(posted with creator's permission)
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iamthepulta · 4 months ago
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i did it u_u
#actually rather pleased with my Bronze Age abstract#Advisor is going to demolish the Other one but that's okay because I at least did something so I got the practice and I can sleep now.#It's kind of funny I was writing the Bronze Age one and I can already feel the struggle of compressing a dissertation's worth#of information into 15 minutes. Like ffs I'm supposed to speedrun oil as an extraction reductant and also talk about Egypt's alum trade?#But this is My Fault. I have done this to myself.#Okay but I'm already bubbling with excitement to talk about Leather Tanning again. Nobody was here when I went on this massive#5 hour long rabbit hole of leather tanning research because... I think I was trying to find out if you could use mushroom collagen#to replicate leather? (The answer is yes.) But it took me down this road of Leather tanning because I was trying to understand the#ion exchange that makes it supple and TLDR there's this massive exploitative industry in the Middle East and Southeast Asia that uses#Cobalt salts because the Co 3+ sits really nicely in the collagen site and you can quickly dye and destroy most of the organics from the#animal itself; but because of that you've also destroyed the texture of the leather. I forget why Al 3+ isn't used. I think it's because it#weathers over time and the leather becomes stiff and hard again. Same with Fe3+. ANYWAY. Try and find thick leather when you#do buy leather because leather IS great and I will die(dye) on this hill. But it's the exploitative textile industry that causes problems.#Honestly I've forgotten 90% of the chemistry but it's so fucking cool and a really interesting peek into an organic affected by inorganics#rather than affecting an inorganic mineral with organics. UGH I love chemistry so much. It's so fucking cool.#ptxt#christ this might be my worst tag essay lol
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mariocki · 6 months ago
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Return of the Living Dead III (1993)
"What's going on, Curt, tell me what happened?"
"We had an accident."
"What kind of an accident?"
"On the bike."
"What happened?"
"You died."
"I what?"
#return of the living dead iii#return of the living dead 3#horror imagery#blood tw#gore tw#1993#brian yuzna#john penney#melinda clarke#j. trevor edmond#kent mccord#james t. callahan#sarah douglas#jill andre#abigail lenz#mike moroff#pía reyes#dana lee#basil wallace#sal lopez#ok whatever else I'm about to say about this film‚ whatever criticism i might level at it‚ i want to be clear that Melinda C absolutely#kills it here: she's absolutely brilliant and the whole film (for better and worse) has to hang on to her coat tails. the scene in which#she reveals her postmortem self body modification is... idk‚ it's THE scene of the film‚ a truly iconic sequence that marries dark#eroticism with body horror with female autonomy with cinematic exploitation. it's something. a hell of a moment. if only the rest of this#could live up to it... where RotLD 2 tried to go for more mass appeal with greater emphasis on splatstick and silly dialogue and family#units‚ this film over corrects and completely removes the comedy element that made the og film such a sneak hit. morbid 90s alt scene#aesthetics and teen nihilism take its place‚ and while the first film had that ingredient it was a little ironic.. here the emphasis is#pure angst and it isn't always to the film's strength (not on a cheapy b movie budget and a schlock horror script). the tragic romance#element did win me over by the end (surprised at how outraged i was by a late stage fakeout that would have denied the main relationship)#but this probably takes itself just a little too seriously for what it is: a goofy rubber fx splatter film. still‚ worth it for Clarke tbh
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mogoce-nocoj · 1 year ago
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honestly huhhahhei is such a perfect song that markets itself due to the implications with like all the edits springing up already and stuff but I seriously hope that jere fully leans into it after it's released. give us more never stop talking about how this has maybe happened or not don't stop mentioning bojan and his smelly clothes get all the money while we're having the time of our lives
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butchford · 3 months ago
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Bitches will be like "damn am I overexaggerating how bad the current landscape is?" And then the top posts in a character tag that's not even involved will be "this post contains filtered tags [ship]"
#cath.txt#on my hands and knees praying either I run out of people to block or everyone shuts up. I don't lose because I'm Cursed.#sits on my porch with my gun whateverrrrr. I can kill everyone.#like you hauve to understand getting into gf again has been so good to me but it's also been “wow this is one of the most sickeningly#familiar depictions of what I've gone through over the past few years that makes me feel uncomfortably seen but also provides me great#solace and hope for my own future and greatfulness for what I have now“ and then I check tumblr and everybody is unironically shipping the#guy who got exploited and psychologically AND physiologically tormented as well as violated with his abuser because it's “funny” and#“they're both terrible” as though one of these people isn't a man who's made a lot of mistakes that made sense in the moment and the other#is a fucking interdimensional nightmare demon that now canonically has ran cults. like ok. thanks guys. and the realest kicker to me is the#fact that people show that three sided fuckhead more sympathy? some fucking how? like ok I see how it is. it's one and I'm tired and I'll#probablyyyy delete this in the morning even though it's buried in my own tags but word to the wise don't have things wrong with you that#make you effectively kin ford at 13 and then reconsume gf seven years later and look at how your life's progressed. like fuck dude one#second you're chilling and the next you get so mad about hearing shit about a book that you realize you're a fucking Stanford Pines irl and#have been for nearly half your life. what kinda sick joke is it that that fucking book was announced on my birthday anyway. come on man.
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