#I'm not too hung up on the lack of vibes though

[ratstuckinamarble]

I haven't had the time to do anything really halloweeny this year, but I've got some older projects I never shared so... Why not?

I present: my ring holder (plus bracelets).

I made the hand out of polymer clay instead of learning how to make a mold or something cause past me was into suffering apparently (jk I just felt like making a hand. Truth be told it was good practice). Standard procedure, inside is a wire skeleton surrounded by aluminium foil, and then I globbed clay on there and shaped it until it looked right. Which took forever.

This was several years ago now so I could do a better job these days, but I still like it. It's a fun spooky prop with that cauldron I made for it (that's just craft foam. Paint it black, throw metallic paint on top and you're golden).

I actually only started using it for jewelry after my cat threw it on the floor... It hides the cracks.

[idontactuallywherepjs]

pt.3 BOOK 2!!!!

Halt is a Dad. He is such a Dad. I loved him in this book. Sending Will away on a "safe" mission (honey, you've got a big storm coming) so he can relax even in a time of war and regain trust in himself is so sweet.

He was so like, idk loving? when talking to Gilan about this mission. The vibe to me was just "I'm proud of you and trust you, you have nothing to worry about. I've seen what you've become and know you can do this"

All three of them ribbing on each other when Gilan first arrives, they're so comfy with each other!

Also recommending Horace in part because he's Will's friend and he wants to let these kids just, be kids together? I have cavities.

And THEN. They've gone on the mission. His two boys are out of the house, off on a journey and he's stuck in Araluen. And he's coping. He's coping in a very healthy and normal manner.

He's coping by throwing people into moats. Hilarious.

Arald, Rhodney and Lady Pauline put their heads together, figure out that it's empty nest syndrome, and decide to shove a happy child who needs a little bit of reassurance in his general direction: Alyss.

They think this will solve him chucking people into moats.

She tells him to do it again. Beautiful, this is so fun. Half the time they're on this mini journey Halt's thinking about Will. It's great.

I have a lot of feelings for this family can you tell?

The romance is clunky. That's like my big negative for this book. Alyss declaring when she was young that she was going to marry Will? Very cute. Her telling his dad that? Why? that's my only complaint with it why would she tell him that?

Also everyone being hung up on Pauline and Halt maybe being a thing in the past? It wasn't really confirmed, heavily implied maybe, and I think that two people who are dedicated to their jobs drifting apart and ending a relationship, then years later getting back together as they've both grown and missed the other person in that way and coming out of it stronger is a super sweet story. It'd be adorable. But it's like, thrown in there by other characters? and it's out of place almost? especially since their country just entered war?

I had a similar problem with the kiss in book one. Objectively? very sweet, i didn't mind it. But their was a lack of build up that made it a bit shoehorned in? It was a lot more obvious in this book though.

Thankfully, we don't spend all that much time on the romance subplots because those were not working at this moment.

I was very surprised when the war kicked off immediately. I was expecting it to build for at least a few books, and it to take like six to get sorted or something, but no. We're just in it now.

It didn't feel too sudden though. It felt very much like this was something Morgarath had set up over that past fifteen years, and the events of the story only started because He was finally ready, not because our heroes were ready to confront him.

I like that. He wasn't dragged out as the ultimate evil of the world, nobody can stop him except these young upstarts. He's a warlord, and he's acting like it. He didn't have much of a character, just a menacing presence for our protagonists to shiver at, but he did serve the story well.

pt 4 incoming super fast, that one will focus on the goings on in Celtica, and then pt 5 should be focusing more on the end of the book. I had a lot more to gush about in book 2 then i thought.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

hewwo fang i'm an only child entj pls analyze sjdfhjo

nice to meet you bakugou JSDHJSDK

tbh there's nothing i can reveal to you about yourself that the emotional arc of bkg has not already but i will do my best.

entjs are known for being pragmatic, somewhat rigid, and hard-working. all of these things are true and show up in entjs extremely early on in childhood. entj children are known for enjoying specific roles of leadership and actively enjoying taking them on. entj young girls are often called bossy. things like class leader and hallway monitor and other things probably called on you a lot.

as you are pragmatic from childhood, you are also generally gifted with understanding systems and concrete steps. knowing how you need to get where you need to go is an extremely natural skill for entjs. contrarily though, you also recognize very quickly what things are working and what not. you work systematically but that only works well with your system since you believe it to be the most efficient. and it often is actually. your ability too see inefficiency and replace it with something better makes you a valuable asset in many aspects in your life but also makes you insanely stubborn on certain aspects of yourself.

and while you are gifted at working hard, you lack emotionall awareness. there are few aspects of you that are flawed on paper. a lot of entjs also have some talent at athletics. however your introverted feeling is your last function and largely your worst. in childhood this manifests as being abrasive while also (unintentionally) cruel

your cruelty is not rooted in some sort of sadism, rather a lack of awareness of your own emotional state and underlying sense of inadequacy in the face of failure, big or small. your critiques of others are accurate but accusatory and a shield to your own emotional flaws. as you get older though, these outbursts of cruelty and not keeping them in check become a heavy weight. depending on the kind of entj you are, you can either respond to this by growing or enforcing this habit of violence.

most entjs in my experience grow up to become incredibly sympathetic and emotionally aware people as a result of these circumstances and carry around the weight of these failures in their upbringing with great sincerity which i admire. eventually even entjs hung up on their own anger and resentment reach it but often it is too late. a resentful entj tends to reach a level of extremity and outbursts that makes them well and truly unbearable.

entjs, hilariously, most often are compatible to people fundamentally different from them and don't like being around their own type. you would assume they like strict, pragmatic types but they actually generally prefer highly emotional types with a sort of artsy vibe about them and this makes their friend groups very funny. this often extends in partners. entjs are naturally independent and thus prefer being around partners that can in some way relax them - which are usually more feeling types. not to say other relationships can't work, but that this pattern appears most often.

entjs are talented with pin-point accuracy in their assessments of everything, including themselves so they are unbearably harsh on themselves and their internal monologue is very negative while also being very self-assured. they are often walking contradictions but are also extremely firm about only doing things that they want to do so this flaw mostly results in needing someone to help draw them away from themselves as opposed to them getting involved in bad situations. you are likely a very precautions type.

most entjs are strict in some sense of the word and that includes having high expectations for their loved ones. if a entj wants you besides them they will also go out of their way to check in on you, reassure you, and cultivate your talents and will go much farther in supporting your aspirations then virtually any other type. they struggle to apologize even when they understand that they are wrong as they can be prideful.

to me i think you should mostly keep in mind that there will always be plenty of time for you to work but you need to vaction sometimes. throwing yourself head first into your goals is admirable but you will have left so many relationships behind if you persist down that path forever. don't feel embarrassment when you try to get more in tune with yourself in writing and allow yourself to admit that it's nice to be cared for sometimes as opposed to always caring for someone else. it is a not a character to flaw to be a human with needs and not a machine.

you are also more charismatic than you are giving yourself any credit for i can guarantee.

[chaostudee]

everything i wanted - j.m

pairing : jj maybank x female reader summary : you had loved him all your life and for jj, you held a special place in his heart. on his wedding day does he realize his true feelings but you knew that you had no chance when he said the words "i do". warnings : angst ? words : 3.1k extra : lowercase intended a/n : i used this gif before but oh well it kinda gives off the whole vibe yk? also jj maybank has my heart <3 (not all of it mind you but a large part)

have you ever loved someone so deeply only to find that they do not feel the same way? it is a pain like no other, some may even say more greatly than the one experienced after loosing a loved one. "it is better to have loved than to never have loved" at all yet an unrequited love disregards this concept since that love was neither acknowledged or received.

you had been in love with jj maybank since the fourth grade. maybe at such an age you didn't fully comprehend the meaning of the word but you felt something towards him. he was like a magnet that pulled a string on your heart although similar to a magnetic field, unaware.

you may have made a mistake in attending today but since jj had been awaiting your attendance you had but little say. at first it was difficult to say the least to see him with her, kissing her, touching her, loving her, all the things that you wanted him to give you. just the same as your attendance you had little choice, your two best-friends had fallen in love and to maintain both friendships you pretended to be content and for awhile it seemed just and right, until now.

a piece of you hung onto the possibility that he would somehow fall out of love with her or perhaps realize your love for him and feel the same way but events like this would only be considered for a romance novel.

"can you believe that jj and kiara are getting married?" pope says in disbelief as he gawks at the altar in front of him. jj and kie had only got engaged a couple of months previous but jj had been insistent to be married as soon as possible. he was much like romeo in that regard, just not your romeo.

"i know it's crazy" you agree, "i'm happy for them, truly". you gulp as you feel pope remove his gaze from the floral arrangement. pope wasn't totally in the dark when it came to your feelings, he had seen the way that you looked at jj far too often than to know all too well he had no chance.

for comfort pope placed his hand upon yours. "its okay to not be okay" he whispers. you look up and smile at him, grateful for his friendship. "thank you" you reply as you take his contact with pride and slip your fingers through his.

jj had neither been acknowledged by you or the others as he stood at the altar fiddling his thumbs. kiara and him had decided to organize a small enough wedding, only inviting family which the pogues were considered as such. the nerves were really getting him now but knowing that you would be in the front seat comforted him somehow. at this thought he looks up from his hands and to calm himself looks over at you.

at first he is pleased to see you though you had not seem his gaze he was glad enough that you had come considering your protesting. it was only when he saw pope lean in closer to you and then place his hand in yours that jj's smile faded and he was welcomed with a confounding new feeling.

no friend of his had ever tried to pursue you perhaps in the case of jj's lack of approval. though now as pope held onto your hand and smiled at you longingly jj suddenly realized that he didn't any guy near you or at least have the opportunity such things especially not when he had made a promise from the moment he got down on one knee.

sarah and john b were sat beside the two of you but were far too occupied with each other to notice your hold on pope. "john b stay still", sarah grunts as she tries to his tie that seemed to have been hastingly put on. john b writhed uncomfortably as sarah neared securing his tie. "help me" john b mouthed to pope though heyward just chuckled at how petty john b was underneath sarah. women domination.

he seems utterly serious in his plead as he sends a stern but hard glare over to pope but his look softens when he sees pope's right hand in the company of another. now the look he gives is of curiousity and a million questions emit from his hazel eyes but there is no time to answer them as the wedding fanfare begins to play.

once jj hears the sound he had been anticipating since the engagement he looks up, trying to brush his thoughts of you from his mind though it was difficult when you sat only metres away.

although when his eyes were torn from you to be greeted with his wife to be there was a definite pang in his chest. only he wasn't sure that the way that his heart clenched was in fact a good sign. kiara's smile only made it worse.

she did in fact look beautiful in her gown though it was more defined as a dress as kiara had voted against frills and feathers. simplicity was the key to her happiness and jj, wanting nothing more, gave her exactly that.

a forceful but believable smile appears on jj's face as he gazes at kiara. he is now suddenly aware of his place in the ceremony and the many eyes that were directed his way.

maybe he had made a mistake. maybe. but a maybe couldn't be filed since there was no turning back. well that's not entirely true he could make his escape now, but what good would that do? it would only hurt kiara and jj had no intention of doing so. and even if he did abandon this marraige, what then? confess his feelings? no.

all this thoughts seemed to have brought on a racing heartbeat and then a rising heat in his cheeks. "hey" kiara said, taking his hands in hers as she met him in the altar.

it took her a total of jj's considering to make her way to the top of church and by the way her doe eyes sparkled jj shoves away the thought of ever hurting her. of ever doing anything to hurt her.

"hey" he whispers back, sending her a smile as he soothingly rubs his thumb across the top of her hand. certainly not for her benefit.

"we are gathered here today to celebrate the love of jj maybank and kiara carrera". the priest acknowledges your presence in today's ceremony and you feel your heart drop.

you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into arriving today but love and her name accompanied by his name in his sentence took a toll on you.

pope felt you shift in your seat at the presiders words and with his hand still held firmly in yours he bravely gave it a gentle squeeze. you hadn't even been aware of the fact that his hand was still in yours and by the way sarah silently said "girlll" with her eyes you knew it was wrong.

trying to make it the least obvious you slowly slip your hand from his grasp, pretending that something was in your eye. pope left his hand where it was, awaiting your hands return. but you never returned his wish.

you didn't want him to get the wrong idea but it would be stupid enough to concoct notions of intimate feelings since it was clear who your heart beats for. and watching him get everything he had wanted since he first laid his eyes on her makes it clear for you. makes it clear as crystal that there was no way you could ever get anything you wanted.

"do you jj maybank take kiara carrera to be your loving wife?". these words bring your gaze back to him, partly pleading for him to say the opposite to "i do". he doesn't.

"i do" jj says and as you watch a tear fall down kiara's cheek you feel a similar overwhelming urge to allow the watering in your eyes to subdue.

with the two having both said "i do" the priest asks if anyone objects the joining of the two. jj hadn't been worried about this part of the ceremony but he had heard many a tale of a drunk ex or whatnot. although now having someone object didn't dismiss whole heartingly as a bad idea.

making an attempt to sneak a glance from his very soon to be wife jj looks over at you. he smiles at himself when he notices that you were already looking that way, at him. after noticing a stray tear escape down your right cheek he realized that perhaps maybe he wasn't kidding himself. but on the other hand you could have just been crying happy tears for your childhood best friend. for what crime is there in that?

"i now pronounce you husband and wife" the priest says and it his voice it is clear that he is tired of the constant repitive use of wording. "you may kiss the bride".

having returned to look before his wife jj slowly carresses her cheek before bringing his lips to hers, trying to block out his thoughts. by the sounds of the cheers and clapping jj was content that he had given them all one hell of a kiss. for now atleast he was happy, with one arm securely around his wife's waist, he was happy.

you clapped along with the rest and smiled like any other but inside you were dying. having shared a glance with jj only minutes earlier you were keen to earn more attention from him. maybe a chance to talk.

you avert your eyes to the happy couple, with kie firmly leaning against jj and with jj supporting her. he seems to be uncomfortable as he adjusts his collar and sweat has begun to build up on his forehead. the aftermath of a wedding should not prescribe these symptons but it is not rare that one makes the wrong decision.

love should not feel like a prison, which is exactly how jj had begun to imagine the next 10 years of his life after only been married less than a minute. love should feel like home.

when jj lifted his eyeline and scanned the crowd for you he was welcomed with a half smile that showed encouragement but most of all it showed you. this was when jj knew that he had entirely messed up because not only did he feel trapped in the arms of his wife but when he eyes locked onto yours he felt something. he felt how one should feel when love is present. at home.

...

"sweetie you did good" sarah informs you as she brushes her hand along your upper arm. "if i had to watch john b get married i'd have a fit".

you try to force a smile at your fellow friend but with sarah she knew exactly what each expression meant. "come here" she says pulling you into the comfort of her arms. it felt nice to be comforted in the threshold of your best-friend especially when you had never felt more alone.

"i think that maybe pope has a thing for you" sarah says with an obvious chuckle. pulling yourself away from sarah you turn to where she is referring to. john b and pope had left you and sarah to take their place on the dance floor but by the quick glances in your direction and excessive blushing, sarah's assumption was clearly true.

"you think?" you reply with raised eyebrows, turning away. there was quite a spread on the table with the lacy tablecloth. the cakes looked so good they made your mouth water.

"i think you've given him the wrong idea" sarah grabs a cupcake that you were set on, "so i think you should just tell him, you don't like him like that.....or you do?".

once again you raise your eyebrows. "no offense but he's not my type" you mutter. sarah knows right well that your type is with his wife as she feeds him the first slice of cake. from afar it looked cute and sarah was obviously happy for them but annoyed that their happiness prevented that of her best friend.

"what are you going to do?" sarah asks averting the subject from pope. "about what?".

"a certain married man". jj hadn't spoken to you at all ever since he had said "i do". little did you know it was on purpose. he didn't have the courage to talk to you, afraid the wrong words might slip.

"i need to talk to him" you tell her but this earns a sigh. jj is now with the boys, laughing, his arms around both of their shoulders. he looked as handsome as ever. "girl you know that nobody thinks that, that is a good idea". sarah shakes her head as she sees the twinkle in your eyes, clearly opposing against her words.

jj begins to make his way over to the two of you, john b and pope following. with a groan sarah plants her face in the palm of her hands. there was no way that this could end well.

"hey honey what's wrong?" jj says, pulling up a chair, turning it around before sitting down. jj tilts his head looking at sarah, his hands rested on the top of the chair.

sarah lifts up her head but before she can speak a word of complaint john b locks his lips onto hers. "hey beautiful" he says which makes you and pope groan. for single people any PDA is hurtful.

"c'mon you guys i think it's cute" jj says which is a shock to everyone as he is usually totally against public displays of affection.

"wow married life has changed you dude" pope purses his lips, "i don't know if i like it".

jj nods. "thanks for your honesty pope, love ya".

jj swallows the lump that had arisen in his throat. he had to talk to you. even if it didn't change anything. he had to be honest like pope had been. brutally honest.

"hey y/n can i talk to you for a sec?" jj asks as he points off to the far distance with his thumb. the location of the reception was kie's idea and you had to admit you were a fan. the beach, the stars, all of it reflected romance.

"um yeah sure" you hesitate once you spot sarah making miming actions begging you not to leave the table. usually you would listen to her or even take heed to what she has to say but not today.

jj stops a few metres away when he notices how far behind you are. he waits. it only takes moments before you catch up with him. for evening time a breeze allows your hair to billow in the wind meaning that it needs your constant attention to push it from your eyeline.

for awhile you just walk in silence. the beach is empty and there is something soothing about being this close to him.

"so...you wanted to talk?" you ask, hoping that perhaps he will start the conversation.

"um yeah" jj responds. his hands are held firmly in his pockets with his tie now undone to allow breathing room. from the way your eyes craved an answer it made his heart rate race.

"on the altar" he pauses to scan your expression though it just remained the same as before, "i saw pope take your hand".

you bite down on your lip. great now jj thought that you and pope are a thing. "me and pope that's- nothing is- ugh he-".

"i got jealous" jj blurts out, cutting you off from your speech. brutal honesty. an awkward silence envelopes the two of you. jj for one is cringing at his words while you are trying to process them.

was this really happening? could you be getting everything you've ever wanted? for him to notice, for him to care. for him to care for you.

"i realized that i didn't want anyone's hands on you, and maybe it's selfish but-". jj looks down to his shoes that were far too big for him but he dealt with it for the terms of the ceremony.

"but...?" you urge on. jj swallows and looks up to you now maintaining a firm stare. his crystal blues sparkle in the moonlight and from his stance he badly needs to confess. slowly he slips his hand from his pocket and moves closer.

your heart begins to race, faster than before and part of you believes that what you are experiencing is a dream. you copy his movement, moving closer.

now that you are standing close enough jj grazes his hand off yours and like you had always imagined a spark erupted. bringing your attention away from the fact that your pinky wrapped around his you smile at the golden boy.

"jj is that you?" kiara calls, having spotted him on the beach. abrubtly jj pulls away from you." yeah coming give me a sec" he calls back to which she waves before returning to the party.

taking his hand, jj runs it through his blonde locks and then lets it slide down his face. "so that's it?" you scoff, folding your arms across your chest.

"what you tell me you feel the same and now return back to your wife?! who does that?".

" i don't know" jj says as he notices your eyes begin to water his heart falls. his impulsiveness has caused this.

a tear falls from your cheek, not the first from tonight and when jj reaches out to brush it away you push him. "i have loved you the majority of my life and now you just realize after you have married one of my bestfriends, that's messed up".

"im sorry" jj says not knowing what other words may comfort you. "just go" you tell him, turning away not wanting to look at him any longer. he bites down on his lip but doesn't protest. he doesn't even utter one more word.

you only turn around when you are certain that he is headed in the other direction. truthfully you are angry with yourself that you could believe in a happy ending when those only exist in one's imagination. then again the child in you is angered that you let him go that you didn't plead for a chance for him to leave her.

the adult in you spoke. it was time to move on, to forget. and although it would be a long journey and wouldn't bring you the happiness that you felt that you deserved it would prevent conflict.

watching him walk farther away so now that he is a sillohette under the moon's haze it enlightens you that, that was the way he had always appeared. a hazy dream, out of reach.

[seungstarss]

✧ 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐖 !!

genre: pirate! enhypen, fluff, crack

warning(s): mentions of drinking

⇢ 𐂂 ⭒۟ LEE HEESEUNG ⭒۟

sailing master/ navigator

-with his loose-fitted blouse and monocle, Heeseung draws out maps and drowns himself in hours of late-night research.

He probably doesn't get enough sleep — often passed out during the early hours of the day.

- Heeseung was of high class, receiving proper education before he was forced to join the pirates

- In the beginning, he was at odds with most of the crew but grew to cherish them as his own brothers.

- constantly stressed due to the lack of charts and maps

- help the poor boy out, please

-the only time he's found on the ship deck is when he's piloting or drinking

⇢ 𓅃 ⭒۟ PARK JONGSEONG ⭒۟

captain

- captain Jay with his overbearing demeanor and a black eyepatch?

- I think yes

- selected as the next captain of the crew after his father passed away.

- His father was a respectable and reliable man who died at sea.

- Jay is very capable, and often hung around Heeseung when he was younger, gaining knowledge to navigate a ship

- was trained to command ever since a young age

- he was also put through intense sword and pistol training

- during his years of training, he got the closest to the gunner, Jake, because of their closeness in age

- he often wears his hair up, forehead exposed

-even though he looks cute with his bangs down

- mans doesn't wanna seem weak ig 🙄

⇢ ૮ ˙ ﻌ˙ ა ⭒۟ SIM JAEYUN ⭒۟

the gunner

-not only is Jake the head gunner of the crew, but he's also in charge of the cooking.

- contrasting his usual precise and serious self, Jake is a fluff ball who has a big passion for culinary arts.

- he and Heeseung have similar tastes, so he consults the older boy for his opinion

- he has the other crewmates help him out when preparing meals

- is always on the lookout for surgeon Sunghoon, who comes early to steal small bites of his food.

- Jake still lets Hoon have the food when he catches him because he's a softie for him byee

- on the other hand, Jake has received gun training ever since he was young, from his father: the previous quartermaster.

- Jake is familiar with all kinds of guns, mastering the art of them all

- he also mans the cannon, which is a very complicated process

⇢ 𓅱 ⭒۟ PARK SUNGHOON ⭒۟

surgeon

- surgeon Sunghoon purposefully wears his blouse loose, unlike Heeseung, who does it unconsciously

- always tucks his blouse into his black trousers neatly

- Sunghoon wears specs and styles his hair perfectly with a side part

- we all simp for surgeon hoon, yes we do

- isn't usually busy when no battles are present

- he enjoys his time pestering the sleep-deprived Heeseung and stealing food from Jake's well-plated dishes

- Sunghoon helps out with diseases and infections

- he secretly can't handle too much blood (His legs get weak after necessary amputations.)

- Sunghoon crafts his own medicines with different herbs they stock up on

- his father was the previous head chef on the crew and tried to teach Sunghoon his artistry.

- hoon botched it 😭

- surgeon hoon can't cook for shit

- a heavy drinker

- "Are you sober?"

- "I'm moderately functional."

- doesn't drink before battles though

- he's responsible ig 🙄

⇢ 𓃥 ⭒۟ KIM SUNOO ⭒۟

boatswain

- Sunoo is the junior officer, supervising all activity happening on the ship

- he's very organized and bright

- the crewmates love him and enjoy when he walks around, observing everyone

- Sunoo deals with all the anchoring duties

- boy is stronger than he looks 😤🥺

- Pippi Longstocking vibes hehe

- spent most of his life at sea

- his father was a previous crewmate who was closet to the captain, but his father had a weak body, so he wasn't put on any heavy duties

- Sunoo usually helps Riki, who lowkey bullies him

- but we don't talk about that

- they're very close and share their worries with each other.

- Sunoo reports the activities of crew members to quartermaster Jungwon

⇢ 𓃠 ⭒۟ YANG JUNGWON ⭒۟

quartermaster

- as the quartermaster, Jungwon has the most authority after Jay, the captain

- at a young age, they praised Jungwon for his responsibility and leadership skills

- he also loves studying and gaining new knowledge about both the sea and the world

- captain Jay's most trusted comrade

- when Jay is not present, Jungwon takes full control and gains full authority

- his sharp eyes can appear very threatening to other crew members, so no one ever tries to pick on him

- even though he's young, he's quite skilled and has a strong sense of righteousness

- boy is not a sweet as he looks

- he won't hesitate to punish people who don't obey commands

- poor Jungwon also has to deal with managing food and water resources

- please save him

- but he has Riki, who always gives him a hand

⇢ 𓃭 ⭒۟ NISHIMURA RIKI ⭒۟

cabin boy

- Riki is the newest member of the crew and is automatically put on the cabin boy position due to his age

- he's in charge of running errands and assisting jake with his cooking

- Jake's favourite cooking assistant, because the others can't plate for shit

- on his free time, he works on learning how to repair the ship with the head carpenter

- carpenter! Riki soon?

- he's very close to Sunoo, with who he shares his worries with

- even though he mentally gags at expressing his emotions, he enjoys Sunoo's advice and comfort

- he's also taken a particular interest in the cannon, asking Jake to teach him about it

- Jake as a big brother to Riki? We stan 🥺

✧ tagging // @fiantomartell @berriniki

[vicxy]

Pick A Pile Reading: Choose a Villainess 🥀🃏

Hello everyone, I decided to come up with this PAC for you guys to read as I go through all your asks. I’m really sorry for not being able to release it sooner, and thank you to those who are supportive. As you can probably guess from the title, the topic of this PAC is: What kind of villain would you be? I hope this will be to everyone’s liking, please leave some feedback so I can improve! This is meant to be a lighthearted (?) PAC for entertainment purposes, so don’t take it too seriously :) Please keep in mind this is a general reading so some might not resonate. I will also add a small part with things I think you need to hear.

“A hero will sacrifice you for the world, but the villain will sacrifice the world for you.”

Choose the pile(s) you are drawn to. Happy reading!

☾ Pile one: The Enchantress

I see a yellow gemstone for this pile, some of you might resonate with that? Maybe Opal? 7, 9 or 20 might be important numbers for you. Virgo, Pluto, Fire, Aquarius, and Moon energy here. Quite a lot of sword energy too. Capricorn, strong Jupiter, Libra, and Air dominants here too. I see that as villains, some of you could be quite scheming, not really in a bad way though. Wise beyond your years, you have a lot of foresight, and are probably the types to plan a coup or be the mastermind behind things. Maybe Junko from Danganronpa but with less of the crazy. The ones who are desperate for knowledge, but might have went about it in the wrong way. As a villain you might not show yourself much. I got “cartographer?” You might be sensitive to criticism, and hate it when you are questioned by your minions. The second type of villain I see from this pile is the sneaky type? Not the mastermind of the “main” villain, probably the one who betrayed the heroes’ side for the villains’. It might be because you didn’t feel included or like you were part of the heroes’ side. As a villain, you could be good at gathering information and using manipulation in order to achieve your goals. A spy, perhaps an assassin. Lowkey gives me Sasori (Naruto) vibes. The last type of villain I see here are the types who can get too hung up on things. Unable to let go, they let their past mistakes consume them and they turn evil, possibly to run away or to avoid something, possibly their past situations. Self conscious and unable to face their true self. In the past, the people in this pile could have had bad habits limiting their personal growth. Right now, some of you could be quite stressed. You should take a break and pamper yourself; impulsive as it may seem, it would be the best for you in the long run. The future is promising for this pile but roadblocks or conflicts right now need to be removed / resolved in order for you to advance. Good luck!

☾ Pile Two: Harley Quinn

Leo, strong Mars and Air, Pisces, Cancer, Libra, Moon, Mercury. The first type of villain I see here is the stubborn type. The ones who fight doggedly until the end even when they know they’re wrong.Quite impulsive, you could start fights easily and that could get you into trouble. Enemies are made easily. Some of you could be passive, or too defensive. On the other hand you could also be the type to give up easily, but mostly I see stubbornness. The second type of villain I see here is one of my favourites. If I could put it in one word, it would be smooth. Jesper from Shadow and Bone vibes. Intelligent, social, charming. Probably the type of villain to have their eyes everywhere, you know what is going on at all times. Also the type of villain to have a glib tongue, easily talking your way out of things / trouble. May be particularly interested in puzzles, mysteries, and mind games. Good at strategy. The third and last type of villain I see here is the type that can be perfectionists. Probably not villains by choice, these people are very avoidant. You probably dislike conflict, and try to avoid them, which can cause even more problems for you. Maybe the type to lie about something and lie more and more as to cover the lie. Eventually it snowballs. You could be idealistic as well, so you try to create a “perfect” world. Which is to say, your ideal one. In the past, a lot of you might have been unsure of where to go or what to do, but you could’ve been enlightened by something or someone recently and now know what to do. Trust yourself. Right now, I think that some of you could just have gone through something important or great in general. The efforts you’ve been putting in will pay off, so hang in there. In the future, some of you could be leaving from toxic relationships. You will also be more decisive, and in control of your life. 5, 6, 7 and 10 could be important numbers for some of you.

☾ Pile Three: Cruella

Lowkey weird but I saw the anemo symbol for this pile so maybe some of y'all play genshin impact? (pls if y'all do dm me I'm ar 55 with nothing to do) Strong Taurus and Mercury here, Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Jupiter, Saturn. The first type of villain I see here is the one who was always known as the outsider. Down on their luck and probably weren't the types to get opportunities from others. There is something lacking in these people's lives, yet they don't know what it is. Reliant on others. These are the types of villains who victimize themselves and make you pity them, but stab you in the back right after with no sympathy whatsoever. The second type of villain I see here is somebody with very low self esteem. They might not have a sense of self direction and let themselves get used by other villains? Probably afraid of failure and disappointing others. On the other hand, this villain could also be opinionated and arrogant. Especially reckless, they are mostly bark with no bite. The type to give you threats but gets defeated in an instant 💀 They could also be the type to want recognition, maybe even obsessed with success. That will be their downfall. The last type of villain I see in this pile is the dramatic type of villain. The ones who make a mountain out of a molehill. Probably the ones who try to take things too far, or like putting on a big show with their abilities. They could also be the whiny type, the ones who get mad when they don't get what they want. Unresolved anger issues too. Lastly, they could be the villains who had gone through some kind of transformative experience in their life to make them this way. In the past, you could have felt very "stuck" and bored with your own life. You could also have lessened interactions in your social life due to responsibilities. Try letting loose sometimes. You could have also neglected some serious issues which you needed to face. For some of you who have been struggling or anything like that, rest assured that things will blow over soon. Hang in there, and remain grounded. For those of you who have put effort into something, I see that the rewards you get might not be up to your expectations. At least now you know what is worth you investing your time in; sit back and reevaluate your situation.

OKAY I'm finally done, it's almost 1am and I'm gonna catch some sleep. I really really hope this was alright, good day everyone! Please leave feedback so I can improve, I have a feeling this one is quite bad lmao. 💖 thank you for all the support thus far!

[thefrogginbullfish]

I feel like people don't talk about being demiromantic very much, so it isn't taken very seriously. So I'd like to share my experience with it.

I spent the vast majority of growing up thinking I was a complete asshole for not finding anyone attractive. I felt extremely confused by other people's crushes and would make up fake crushes to fit in. And I felt more and more like an asshole as the people around me got more and more frequent crushes. I couldn't understand it at all. How were all these people romantically interested in other people? What did they see in them? How could they look at a group of people and not only find one person attractive but multiple people attractive? I was convinced I was the most shallow and picky person alive.

Fast forward to when I was a bit older and tried "dating" people. Looking back, every single past relationship I had was a friendship. I convinced myself that my strong desire for friendship was romantic attraction despite a complete lack of romantic (or physical in my case) attraction. I couldn't tell the difference between friendship and romance because I didn't really understand what it was and hadn't really experienced it. It's a bit cringey looking back. People would even make comments about the people I dated being attractive and then I'd look at them and think, "I just don't see it, but I think they are cool." Weird times.

When I met my best friend, I felt so confused. That's actually part of what made me start to realize I'm gay because I didn't know how to talk to her like a person because I had a very strong desire to be best friends and was bad at talking to women in general. But I really wanted to seem cool and I didn't want to scare her off. She intimidated me even though what I was feeling was friendship and I really wanted her to be a part of my life...in a just friends way. We were best friends for over 4 years before she came out to me as a lesbian. That gave me a REALLY weird feeling that confused me for months. But it circled back to a strong desire to be best friends and me thinking that her girlfriend at the time was horrible and that she deserves someone amazing who treats her well (someone who isn't me). But there were a lot of weird confusing feelings there.

Now I say I'm in my first relationship that isn't doomed to failure because it isn't just a friendship (for the first time!). But that's quite the story too. We met on Tinder (and she was one of the only people I swiped right on before reaching the absolute end of all people in my area and the only person I really felt worth noting and I figured I didn't have a shot in hell and freaked out when we matched), so the vibe was romantic from the start (we are both ace-spec, which I feel is worth noting). We hung out at least 3 times a week for about 4 months before I could figure out what I was feeling. It was incredibly challenging to figure out whether it was a crush or just an incredibly strong desire to be close friends. It made me feel like an asshole because I could tell she was into me in a romantic way from the start. But I did figure it out after a good while and then I asked her to be my official girlfriend and we have been dating ever since. And now that I actually feel romantically towards someone, I'm sort of a gooey romantic who likes cutesy things like handwritten notes and flowers and sentimental gifts. It's fun and I've never felt this way before. And to be honest I never thought I'd ever feel this way about someone.

Sorry for the wall of text. Hopefully this helps illustrate what it's like to be demiromantic 💚

[stanzoeywade]

QUEEN B GIRLS pt 4 (feat. Chloe St.James)

The queen of naïvete or stupidity, it's up to you decide. Literally has dumb bitch energy but in a weirdly lovable way. She's an airhead, but it's just how she is. Thank God she's pretty.

Ah, Chloe St.James. Who exactly are you?

She's well-known on campus as the second in command in terms of Poppy's army of skanks, AKA the Zeta house. Before, Rosie came in and disrupted the food chain, our platinum blonde was second in the food chain. One spot behind her long term bestie (?) Poppy. How they came to be friends, we'll never know. Rumour has it Chloe is being taken advantage of because she not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. However, if I'm being completely honest, they do seem to have a good relationship. I could be wrong though, and it's far too early to even dissect the cobweb that is the Min-Sinclair clique.

How does a seemingly sweet and naïve girl get to be part of Belvoire's exclusive top ten? Well, let me take you back to Miss St.James' first year. Her reputation tanked when she decided to wear last season Gucci, but instead of being ripped apart by our queen bitch, she was taken in. Some people think that it's because Chloe reminded Poppy of her younger self or maybe because she actually has a heart deep down, reserved only for people she actually finds tolerable. I, myself don't subscribe to that bullshit and I think that Poppy just took Chloe in because she's perfect for her plastic army. I mean look at Regina George's so called "friends", every mean girl needs a Karen.

Despite her lack of common sense, Chloe's actually kind of an idiot-savant, in which she's never actually failed a class. Surprising, I know but I guess she's just weirdly peychic when it comes to her academics, which is a mystery we'll never know the answer to.

She's also well-known in the cheerleading club for her dancing skills, I'm probably going to get hung for saying this but she's actually really good. Maybe even better than Poppy. Her skills have been put on display for campus to see during this year's kick-off day, and it seems like Chloe got to show-off this year because there's a stark difference between last year and now. It looks much more polished and less robotic, like thought and care was actually put in, so props to that.

I've never actually seen her so confident and content, guess having control over something you enjoy doing makes a huge difference.

Chloe may seem all sweet and gentle, but don't be fooled. I've seen her make girls cry with her words too, she did learn from the best. Her insults are scathing and will leave third degree burns in their wake. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end because despite her tumultuous friendship with Veronica and Poppy, she's still stubbornly protective. I've seen her tear a freshman down because she overheard insults being thrown. RIP 🙏 Begonia Thotia, we will pray for you. I hope you've recovered from the burn department.

Even after all the drama last year, she's still friends with Poppy. During the summer, the iconic trio were seen at Chloe's luxury House in Aspen, like true American elites. (Oh to be young, hot and pretty in Aspen. The true American dream.)

I know I've made jabs at her carefree nature, but in all honesty? I'm envious of her innocence. She lives life the way she wants to, without any of the weight and stress behind her. I want that for myself to, but alas I'm not rich, hot or pretty. She's vibing and I low-key vibe with that.

She's infuriating, sure but sometimes she says the darnedest things. I've never wanted to simultaneously laugh or feel bad for another person but Chloe somehow achieves that without trying. She just has no filter. She can make things sound mean without meaning to and I've never been more entertained. Whereas Poppy make men and women cry just because she can, Chloe does it by accident. She doesn't quite know how to filter her words, sometimes she says things that isn't meant to be rude or mean, it just comes across that way. It's the funniest thing.

She can be conceited but what did you expect? She's at the top of the food chain alongside her friends, why shouldn't she be? She's not afraid to flaunt it either, but she's not that bad, unlike some people. 👀

Also I feel like y'all underestimate how much of a dumbass she can be, I've heard her call computers "box thing with the thingy that makes clicky noises" so don't come at me. She's still iconic though.

Overall, she's an airhead, but she's lovable in a way. You can't help but find her naivety endearing, no wonder queen bitch is protective. She's just a cinnamon roll, a dumb one but you know it be like that sometimes.

Taglist: @somewillwin @uhh-the-green-thing @jmojellybae @simp-pony @made-me-deep-blue @uselesslesbianfr @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @belvoiresqueenbee @alexlabhont @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @sparring-hyena @baexpoppy @cloakanddaggerthings @thepotatobleh @somin-yin @narierei2709 @shows-simp-card @thatwhorefromnextdoor @ashleyfenner @cloud9in @calraquin   @wolfietheduckyou @promisedneverwrite @penda-bear

[tragedybunny]

Wise Men Say, Only Fools Rush In - Chapter 4 - Time Of My Life

Katarina Du Couteau desires only one thing in life, to make her own destiny beyond her family's legacy and manipulations. To that end, she accepts a job with Noxus Holdings, working under CEO Jericho Swain. It isn't long though before she finds herself challenged in ways she never expected and making choices that will alter her life forever.

Hello, Lovelies. As you can see, I'm still working on this. I've had a lot of other projects I picked up and I'm in a much better headspace over the last few months. I hope to become more consistent still, but some progress beats no progress.

Garen’s modest silver truck pulled up to my building nearly an hour late. I was already waiting outside, Bastion Towers looming behind me, pacing and fuming in the clear night air. As I yanked open the door, I was ready with a snarky remark for his lack of punctuality. One look at his face and I quickly decided against it. His brows were furrowed and his jaw was already clenched, I could almost feel the tension in the air surrounding him. Pulling my leather jacket tight against me, I stepped up into the passenger seat and smoothed down the skirt of the scarlet dress I was wearing. Ending above the knee with a sweetheart neckline, I’d waffled back and forth on wearing it for the whole day while I was at work. I’d worried the satin number might be a bit too racy but I didn't want to look too boring. Something told me that being too boring was worse than being too much at Noxus Holdings. Time would tell whether that was a mistake or not, for now, I had to deal with the problem in front of me. I settled into the soft comfort of the seat next to him. “Hey hun, everything alright?”

Reaching out, he clutched my hand, perhaps a little too tightly, and brought it to his lips with disconcerting force. “Everything’s perfect now that you’re with me. Just a long day.” His smile didn’t quite reach his blue eyes, which remained dark, leaving me unconvinced. But if he was willing to put it aside and play along, so was I, at least for now.

“You say the sweetest things.” I forced a smile onto my face as he pulled away from the curb, and dropped any notion of being irritated that we were now completely and utterly late.

By some miracle, traffic seemed to clear the way for us, and we made the drive in a startlingly short amount of time. I nearly leaped from my seat as we pulled into the parking lot, opening my door and hitting the pavement before the truck was even in park. Anxiously, I shifted my weight from foot to foot as I waited for Garen to get out. “I see that face Kat, don’t be so impatient.” Coming around from his side of the truck, he hooked his arm in mine and kissed me on the cheek. “I know this is important to you and I’m sorry for being late.”

Taking a deep breath, I tried my best to heed the advice, calm down, and not head in looking like a mess. “Thanks.”

We followed the sound of an off-key version of some song with a distinctive 80’s vibe and entered into a crowded little restaurant. A haze of smoke hung over the bar area, and the crowd around a small stage spilled over into the dining room proper. Those not focused on the evening’s event were pushed to the outer edges and a sushi bar with a crowded counter. The lights were dimmed, settling uneven shadows over it all. Within the bar area, each table was packed with people milling between them, glasses clinked, and voices spoke only to be drowned by the music.

In one corner, a few tables seemed to be just a little further from the rest. The massive form of Darius left no doubt about who was occupying at least one of them. A glance up at the stage and I recognized some hapless, newly promoted, executive from finance, who appeared to be living his worst nightmare. Singing along just out of key, he stared at the words on a display screen, as though unable to pull away, his face pale. Behind him, a DJ looked to be containing his laughter. Pulling Garen after me toward my newly marked destination, smoke burning my nostrils, I searched quickly for an empty spot at one of them.

“Ms. Du Couteau.” A voice called out from next to Darius and I stopped myself from physically flinching. Mr. Swain waved us over to the end of the table where he sat at the head, elegantly sipping saké, beside him were two empty chairs. There was no way to escape to another table and try to lay low. Across from them, Darius lounged, looking rather laid back, next to him were Draven and a woman hanging all over him, and beside the empty chairs was Samira with her arm around the waist of a woman I thought I recognized from one of the other departments. Everyone had ditched office wear for more individual evening looks, except our CEO, who seemed to have simply left his suit jacket and tie at home. “Please, do join us.” Thinking quickly, I put myself in the seat next to Mr. Swain, making myself a barrier between Garen and the man he considered responsible for Noxus Holdings’ brutal way of doing business, leaving him to sit next to Samira. It was a gamble that she would be less grating for him, but I was willing to take it.

“Well, well, well, been a long time Garen.” With a wolfish smile, Samira greeted him. Beside me I could feel him sitting rigidly, every muscle coiled with tension.

“Nice to see you too Sam.” At least it didn’t sound as harsh as his body language.

“Right, for those of you who haven’t met him, this is my fiancée Garen.” I did a quick round of introductions with everyone, ending with Darius. The two of them eyed each other, no doubt thinking about the fate of Demacia Corp, but I was more concerned with the piercing stare from beside me.

Poor Finance guy finished to subdued applause and the display flashed Draven’s name in a blinding font along with a song. “Aww, come on, you all know I hate the Cure.” He groused as he got up to stomp to the stage.

“It’s the rules, someone else has to pick your song. Very good for team building.” Darius informed us with a wicked grin.

A waitress dropped a few more saké bottles, cups, and several plates of sushi rolls. “And everyone is expected to sing, at least once, 80’s theme this week. Mr. Swain sounded oddly relaxed and almost personable. I supposed it was unreasonable to think of him maintaining that hard-ass exterior every second of the day. He gestured to the spread on the table as Draven began a truly unique rendition of Boys Don’t Cry. “Help yourselves, I’ve got the tab.”

“So Garen, what do you do at Demacia Corp?” I couldn’t tell if Samira’s honeyed tone was a genuine attempt to be pleasant or if she knew she was kicking a hornet's nest. It was likely the latter knowing her though.

Taking my hand in his a giving it a squeeze he answered with a neutral tone. “Director of Logistics.” For awhile things remained astonishingly pleasant enough. Garen and Darius only glared at each other a little, small talk was made, songs were sung, either our group or others, and saké and sushi were consumed.

I was mid-sip of a cup when Garen’s phone began to vibrate violently. A quick glance at it and his eyes widened. “I have to take this.” Before I could even nod, he’d jumped from his seat and was hurrying away. Another song ended.

Our table erupted into cheers as “Jericho Swain” was the next name on the monitor. “You’re all going to pay for this.” Stifled laughter was all around, and Darius gave me a knowing wink. Time of My Life, a sappy love ballad, no wonder he was so riled up about it.

“You can’t get out of it.” Darius jeered, his face flush from drinking. Warmth surged through my veins, it seemed he wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of imbibing.

“It’s a duet, it would seem I need assistance.” Samira sank down in her seat, pulling her date, whose name still escaped me, onto her lap for cover. “Ms. Du Couteau, I don’t believe you’ve taken a turn yet. I’ll allow this to count as your one.”

All eyes fell on me as I stood, compelled by the devilish smile, outstretched hand, and the promise I wouldn’t have to do this again. I ascended the stage with shaky steps, palms sweaty and cheeks most likely reddened, and took my place at the microphone next to his. Soft music, familiar from an old movie, filled the air. His voice washed over the room, magnetic if not the perfect pitch. “Now I’ve had the time of my life. No, I’ve never felt this way before…”

My breath hitched nervously as he finished the next couple of lines of his verse, then my own hesitant voice answered back. “Cause I’ve had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.” A sigh of relief escaped me as I didn’t completely choke. Glancing over furtively, I saw him shockingly giving me a small grin as hoots erupted from the crowd. Leaning closer, I rolled my eyes, pretending annoyance while returning the smile. “Now I've finally found someone to stand by me.”

As I continued singing, Draven shouted incoherently in what I assumed was amused ecstasy. “Give them a show Ms. Du Couteau?” His voice tickled my ear as he whispered away from the mic. I nodded, feeling lightheaded, the scent of his cologne befuddling my senses. Who was this man? It was a side of our CEO that I’d never expected to see, witty and wickedly fun.

Taking my hand, he turned me to face him as we reached the bit we sang in unison. Those dark eyes stared into mine, intense with something ravenous lurking beneath the surface. Swallowing hard, not sure what I was feeling, I continued. The song became a performance piece, accentuated by little spins, dips, and other dramatic dance moves, the Noxus crew voraciously cheering us on. The final chorus found us once again locking gazes, my chest heaving and my mind reeling. “And I've searched through every open door. 'Til I found the truth. And I owe it all to you.” The music faded and the spell broke.

Awkwardly I returned the mic to its stand. “Good of you to play along.” There was the ghost of something in his expression but he turned from me before I could puzzle it out and started toward the steps back to the table.

“No problem.” I murmured and looked up into the crowd as I started to follow. Garen stood at the edge of the room near the bar, face dark with rage. Gods, it looked like the company rivalry had gotten out of hand without me there. Attempting to not draw too much attention, I weaved through the tables towards him as quickly as possible to still look casual. “Something wrong?”

He snorted. “What the hell was that Kat?” His voice was full of quiet fury.

Frozen in genuine shock I stuttered. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“Whatever that was between you and that demon, Swain.” He gestured violently at the stage for added effect. “Just what is going on with you two?”

The accusation unleashed my own anger. “Nothing! It was a little harmless fun. What’s wrong with you?” My words were short, hissed between clenched teeth.

“Bullshit Kat. You’ve been dodging every conversation about our future and now you’re hanging all over the head over your company and staring at him like some starry-eyed little girl.” Crossed arms warded me away from him and my heart cracked as his accusation reminded me of the little moments I’d been caught in the thrall of the man we were arguing about. Even though I knew them to be no more than errant thoughts. I was at a loss, Garen had always been my comfort, and yet here was now, the source of my turmoil.

“I…” Really I just wanted to throw myself into those arms that were closed to me.

“Nevermind. I’ve got to go clear my head.” Some of the fury had left him only to be replaced by sadness.

“Garen.” It was too late, he was walking away from me. Tears welled up in my eyes even as my mind faltered with confusion. I was rooted in place, staring at the spot where he’d been, behind me, the evening’s festivities continued as though we didn’t exist, the bar thronging with people shouting drink orders.

“Care for another round?” I shook myself from my stupor to find Mr.Swain standing behind me near the front of the line at the bar. “Everything alright?” I must have hesitated too long.

I hardened myself and stuffed down my threatening heartbreak. No way I could suffer the embarrassment of letting what had just happened become public knowledge. “Fine, Garen just had to leave, family emergency.” Giving the bartender a look that she better not say any different, I stood next to him and perused the bar’s menu. Or pretended to, it was all a blur, and I picked one at random, stabbing the little menu with my nail. “That sounds interesting.”

“Good choice.” His gaze still lingered and I wondered if he saw through me. After ordering another couple of bottles, we stepped back from the bar, and he produced a pack of cigarettes and held it out towards me. “Smoke?”

Usually, it wasn’t my thing, but at this point, why not. I plucked one from the pack and leaned into the lighter he offered, before heading back to the table. Someone not from the group was singing, leaving us as the center of attention for the table as I sank back into my chair. “Just in time.” Draven leered. “Darius is up next.”

Across from me, Darius grumbled and I lost myself in the collective laughter. “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” I teased.

“We all can’t get carried by a duet with the boss.” He shot back as the bottles we ordered were placed on the table.

“Touché.” I poured a glass and sipped. We all watched as Darius trudged to the stage.

Finishing my cigarette, I sat back, feeling the lightheadedness from it and the alcohol washing over me. The noise of the place was comforting in a way, I could get lost in it. “Don’t you forget about me.” Darius crooned, the whole place seemed to be cheering him on it. My eyes unfocused and my thoughts drifted away. Topping off my cup, I gave up concentrating, floating near the edge of a liminal space. More singers came and went after Darius, Draven of course going up for a second time in the spotlight, I chased the saké with several pieces of sushi, and light conversations came and went.

It seemed only seconds later the music stopped and the lights came up a bit. My mind reluctantly jumped back to reality with it. “Well Red?” Samira snapped, gazing at me with irritation.

“Huh? Damn it, everyone was staring. I blinked a few times to clear my head, painfully aware that I should’ve drank more water.

“Do. You. Need. A. Ride?” Her eyes rolled like she was talking to a very confused child.

“Right, yeah, Garen had to leave.” For a moment, I scrambled mentally for the lie I’d told earlier. “Family emergency.” Everyone was rising from their chairs so I followed along. “I live in Bastion Towers.”

There was a murmuring of discussion and I took the opportunity to check my phone. No messages, damn him. I slipped it back into my bag and nearly yelped when I looked back up. Mr. Swain was standing there and I’d completely missed him stepping in front of me. “Not to worry, I’ll escort Ms. Du Couteau home.” I blinked at him, baffled at why he would go out of his way. “East, West, or North tower?”

“East.” My voice betrayed some of my suspicions.

“Pity, West has the better view.” He quipped.

“Ohhh.” Realization dawned on me, we lived in the same complex.

“Follow me.” The others were dispersing so it seemed I didn’t really have a choice, and I did as he said, quickly gathering my jacket and purse. It didn’t help that my mind was still foggy and all I wanted to do was sleep. I knew what waited on the other side of this night, dealing with whatever the fallout would be, and maybe rebuilding my life as I knew it.

Another cigarette was thrust into my hand, already lit, my throat was going to pay for this in the morning. I took a drag as the Noxus crew all emerged out into the parking lot as one. Darius waved as he loaded Draven and his date into a dark SUV. Mr. Swain came to a stop and I choked on my smoke. “You can’t be serious.”

“Do you think I ever joke?” His expression didn’t change and I had no idea if he was sincere or not.

“I’ve never been on a motorcycle before.” It sounded lame even as I said it, the jet-black machine intimidating me more than I cared to admit. “Is that even safe with what I’m wearing?” At least I’d chosen boots instead of high heels.

“You’ll be fine.” He opened a compartment on the bike and passed a helmet my way. I inhaled the last of the cigarette and tossed it in the ashtray beside us. “Just keep the helmet on and don’t let go of me.” It wasn’t quite the same tone he’d use at the office, but it was still clear this was an order. It was tempting to make a snide remark about not being on the clock but he was technically doing me a favor, and he could still fire me at any moment. So I slipped the helmet on and climb on behind him, conscious of how far my dress might creep up. “Feet there.” He gestured to the pegs and after settling on them, I gingerly wrapped my arms around his waist, thankful he couldn’t see my face.

The engine roared to life and much to my embarrassment I gripped tighter. I swear I heard him chuckle but we were moving and it was lost to the wind. The scent of his cologne once again surrounded me and something about it and the weight of him in my arms made me feel … safe. All the liquor was still in my system, leaving me flush all over. The passenger seat was slightly elevated, and I was able to take in the sight of the city as we rode, the bustling bars and restaurants, the twinkling of a million lights, and the myriad crowds still wandering the streets. Behind the thrum of the engine was the ever-present cacophony of the life of those sights. It felt like I was enchanted, the whole experience oddly soothing. When we finally came to a stop in front of my building, I felt a faint touch of sadness that it was over.

Slowly I let go and dismounted, handing the helmet back to him. “Thanks for the ride.”

“You’re quite welcome.” There was a slight hesitation before he added, “I do hope your fiancée’s emergency is worked out.”

Damn that penetrating, all-knowing look. “I’m sure it will be.” My voice shook a little on the last word. I needed to get away before I broke. “See you Monday.”

I was already retreating when I heard him speak very faintly behind me as he started the bike back up. “Right, Monday.”

As soon as I entered the lobby, I ran to the elevator, barely acknowledging the doorman. It felt like an eternity before the doors opened to my floor. My chest tightened and my eyes began to sting. It was sinking in. Garen. He’d never walked away from me like that before.

My keys rattled as I fumbled them out of my purse and clumsily thrust them at the lock. I sniffled, swallowing a sob that tried to escape. To make everything worse, the alcohol was finally kicking in fully. Heat pulsed through my body and my vision swam. The door swung open at last admitting me to my darkened apartment. I abandoned my keys, coat, boots, and purse on the couch. Exhaustion and drunkenness weighed me down as I detoured to the kitchen for a glass of water before stumbling down the hall to my bedroom. On the left side of the hall were the laundry alcove and the door to the second bedroom. On the right, was the master suite, with the incredible view, walk-in closet, and huge bathroom.

I didn’t bother to turn on the lights or undress. Instead, I curled up under the covers and finally let the first real tears flow. Slowly at first, a few drops, one cry, it built up into a storm of wracking sobs that I spilled into the pillow to keep the neighbors from hearing. I pressed my face into it and emptied my sadness until at last, I passed out.

I fell into blissful nothingness until the bright rays of the early morning sun crashed against me and caused me to stir. Moaning, I rolled over searching for the water on my nightstand. I finished it all in one gulp, my throat raw from the abuse it suffered last night. Afterward, I lay and numbly stared at the ceiling while my head pounded.

Exhausted, hungover, and out one fiancée, good job me. My stomach gurgled, I needed coffee and something full of carbs to set myself right. My feet hit the floor speculatively and I tested myself for dizziness. The room only spun a little, so I made my way to the kitchen.

After popping a pod in the coffeemaker a thought struck my dulled brain. I hadn’t seen my phone yet. I struggled to the couch, accompanied by the beautiful sounds of coffee brewing. Stuffing my hand in my purse, I dug around before impatience got the better of me and I upended the whole thing on the cushions. It tumbled out, begging for a charge, but that wasn’t the only notification. Breath held, I unlocked it to see dozens of calls and texts, all from Garen. The last one simply read. “Please, we need to talk.”

[os-hyoideum]

the wh*res are fighting 19 (one-shot)

Part 19: THE DATE

Previous - here - Next

masterlist

(this, perhaps, can be read seperately, so if you you wanna check it out, but nit the SMAU, then go on 😉)

a/n: Ok, it took me a long time, but I had a lot of uni work and it's also almost 5k words 🙃 Like, I can pull the standard SMAU texts out of my ass in an hour sometimes, but this? Nah-ah, I like writing, but I'm mostly slow. (but I will write out the ending too) Since the format is different, I'm putting content warnings on this (outside of the ones on the matserlist). Again, it's an AU so I will write Touya as bitchy or soft as I please, and I take no criticism for it 💅 (now watch me destroy them after some nice time - if you see this no you don't)

THE SHOT IS UNDER THE CAT

WORDCOUNT: 4878

CONTENT: hero!AU (Dabi/Touya is a hero), OOC, Y/N is awkward at feelings (cringe), lack of safety equipment (sledgehammers), romantic arson (just a bit), cursing, tatted up/pierced Touya, Touya rides motorcycle

I really hope you gonna enjoy it, cause I enjoyed writing it and I think it's alright!

You looked up from your phone to see the place where you were to meet Touya. As a first part of his date plan, he invited you to a small café that looked almost like a bookshop from outside. On the windows hung colorful fairy lights (although turned off, due to it being bright outside) and some handmade paper decorations. It truly was a nice place, but quite an unusual choice, considering it was Touya who chose it; a bit too wholesome perhaps, but who were you to judge.

After making sure that the address you arrived at was the correct one, you stopped under a tree to get some shade from the warm sun rays. You started to look around, seeing people, some of them in a rush, some enjoying the nice weather, while leisurely walking to their mysterious destinations. Unfortunately, one face was oddly familiar. Standing on the opposite side of the road was an ordinary looking man in dark clothing. Looking straight into your eyes, he moved towards the crosswalk and, in a very relaxed manner, directed his steps towards you. 

You tensed up, ready for anything. It wasn't a good omen to see him right there, right now. He was sent there as a warning and it was apparent in his intense gaze and every little calculated move. Also, because you knew how the gods' machine works. 

After barely a few seconds, the unnamed man stopped right in front of you, leaving precisely one and a half meter of space between your bodies. Perfectly straight back, relaxed face features, hands in sight. It didn't seem as though he was there to attack or cause trouble (any bigger than his presence alone already was), but you knew better than to let your guard down. Staring him down, you waited patiently for his words.

“Hello, number Four,” he said with a slight underline of contempt in his voice.

“What do you want?” You looked around to check if any unwanted attention was on you two. It wasn’t really necessary considering both of you looked like ordinary civilians, but, at the end of the day, it’s better to be aware of one’s surroundings.

The man shifted his weight slightly, taking half a step closer.

“You know your little paradise won’t last long.” He exclaimed and smiled cynically. “Or have you, perhaps, forgotten?”

“Fuck off.” With a cold voice and a cold gaze, you ended the short exchange. The man did not move, however. He stood, still with an annoyingly straight back, in front of you and looked both harmless and ready to leap at you, had he deemed it necessary.

The stare off was short lived. A few seconds later you felt a presence coming from behind you and the man was pushed away by Touya, who came just in time to hear the end of your conversation. He looked a bit concerned, but stared at the mysterious person with a hard gaze and little bit of blue flame coming from the corners of his mouth.

“She told you to fuck off, so go and scurry away.”

Unbothered, the man didn’t pay any attention to this sudden event. He seemed even amused by it to some extent.

“I see you got yourself-” he glanced quickly towards Touya, who stood right next to you “a dog.”

Already annoyed before by the sheer presence of this man, now you felt your blood boil. WIthout thinking much, you leapt towards him and harshly grabbed the collar of his shirt. You heard someone close-by whisper with a scared voice, but you paid no mind to it.

“Fuck. Off.” You started, accentuating the words and putting as much venom into them, as you could muster. “Go and crawl at their feet like the pathetic nobody that you are.”

You saw a change in his eyes. No longer emotionless, he seemed irritated, which filled you with a bit of sadistic pride. He forcefully pulled your hands away and shoved you back. Then brushed his shirt like nothing happened and, just before turning around and going away said:

“You are the same. Everyone who touches the Olymp is.”

Finally alone with your still-just-a-friend, you turned around to face him. Having brushed off the encounter, you smiled at Touya, first a little fake, but seeing him made you happy enough to be genuine after just barely a second. On the other hand though, he still seemed rather concerned with the strange turn of events. 

“Who was that?”

“He’s a colleague... from work.” Your answer didn’t lessen Touya’s worry. His brows furrowed, while he decided to press a bit more.

“From work? He’s… a hero?”

You stood right in front of him and lifted your arm, putting the thumb between his brows, watching him relax slightly, as you caressed the crease in his skin.

“From before.” It was a diplomatic answer, both a lie and a truth. You knew Touya wasn’t stupid and would get to the truth sooner or later, but for now he seemed to let it go, so you changed the topic. “So, I must ask. Why… a cafe? I would be more inclined to think you’d take me to a boxing ring or something.”

Touya smiled at your teasing tone, but did not answer. He just turned around and started walking towards the entrance of the place. He stopped and held the door for you, still standing next to the tree, a few meters away. 

“You coming?”

You looked at him unamused by his lack of answer, but went inside. It was pretty and cozy, which didn’t match with his more edgy vibe, but you just brushed it off and sat down on a plush armchair in the corner. You put your elbows on the table and propped your head on your palms, looking as Touya took his jacket off and threw it on the back of his chair. You started to closely admire the tattoos adorning both of his arms, from the hands to his shoulders (and even further, as you already knew).

“Both your tattoo and hand kink are showing, baby.” 

He sat down and looked at you with a teasing glint in his beautiful eyes. You leaned back, crossed one of your legs over the other and put your arms up, in a gesture of surrender, but then looked at him accusingly. 

“That’s not my fault that you’re a harlot. You’re basically putting yourself on display for me, so really, it’s on you. You whore.” 

“You got me, but it’s only for you.”

Touya laughed then and stood up to buy you both a coffee. You sat still, waiting and looking around. When your eyes landed on the discarded jacked, you stood up to take it. A simple black jean jacket, quite thin to be suitable for the warm weather. Holding it by the collar, you brought it closer to your face and inhaled the smell of the perfume lingering on the fabric. You couldn’t quite tell what it was, but it wasn’t too strong and you had to admit it was one of the best smells you knew, especially with the mix of natural scent of Touya’s body.

The owner of the jacket came back with the drinks a few minutes later and saw you with the piece of clothing.

“A little thief today, are we?”

You took one last whiff of the jacket and put it down.

“It smells nice. Maybe I should buy this perfume for myself.”

Touya looked up from his coffee.

“You want my perfume?”

“As I said - it’s nice.” You shrugged and saw him smirk.

“I can give you mine if you want to smell like me so badly.”

“Hmm…” You hummed and leaned forward a bit, “Well, I wouldn’t mind smelling like you.”

You took your cup and started to slowly drink, while looking into Touya’s eyes. Something in them made you feel strange, perhaps it was the softness with which he took you in. 

When sunshine fell on him from between the window decorations, he reminded you of some kind of angel, eyes almost glowing, silver piercings glistening; the sun accentuated every little shadow on his face, but, at the same time, made him look really delicate.

Touya’s gaze went down and your thought moved to the back of your mind. He adjusted his position on the chair before speaking.

“I guess I can tell you why the cafe, which you found, oh so surprising, I don’t know why.” He paused for a second to narrow his eyes at you. “I’ve heard you wanted a “normal” date, whatever the hell that means.”

“Wha-,” your eyes widened with mock surprise, “Did Shiggy snitch on me?”

“Please, he didn’t have to. It’s not like you asked all your friends for advice. So I decided to take you somewhere… classic, if you will.”

You crossed your arms on your chest and rolled your arms, then pointed an accusatory finger at your companion.

“Now you’re just mocking me.”

“Me? Never.” Obvious sarcasm on his part. “But I have one more place that I want to take you later. Perhaps more to your standards.”

Now you felt a bit guilty that he might have thought you didn’t like it. He didn’t seem so, but you preferred to explain either way.

“I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it… it’s just…” You shrugged. “I didn’t expect something so… usual? Common? Normal, heh.”

“I know you’re just awkward, but let’s relax and enjoy ourselves.”

And so you did, talking about many different things for a few hours.

***

You put your index finger on your lips, pondering on something for a moment.

“Isn’t it going to be, you know… the anniversary soon? Of your mom’s divorce, I mean.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Touya nodded.

“Damn, happy birthday then.” You brought your cup to your lips like you didn’t just say… that. But Touya lifted his eyebrows and stared at you unsure.

“What?” You just shrugged and he sighed, “Nevermind then. Happy birthday to mom.”

A few seconds of a comfortable silence fell over the two of you. The hushed voices of the people around filled your ears; they mixed together, providing a nice background noise. 

“So… how’s you dad?” You quirked an eyebrow at Touya’s surprised expression.

“You want to talk about my… dad? Of all things?”

“Well… I’m just asking! And you know… since he “sucks ass” does he also eat it?” You smiled stupidly, but he just stared with a deadpan. “Okay, stupid, I admit.”

“We have family therapy, so it’s not that bad. Though, the old mad does deserve the bullying.”

You agreed and made a toast with your drink to Touya’s words.

***

“Excuse me!?” Touya exclaimed loudly, “You did what!?”

You put an index finger to your lips trying to shush him, while a few other people looked in your direction, some with curiosity, others with disapproval.

“It wasn’t that bad…” You looked apologetically at some of the patrons. “It’s not like I died.”

Touya stared at you in shock for a good few seconds, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. He was almost at a loss of words.

“What- not like she died! Fuckin-” He groaned and dramatically clutched his shirt on his chest. “You’re killing me! You’re killing your father!”

You snorted at his statement. Well, a flair for the dramatics was in his repertoire, after all.

“Don’t you mean ‘Daddy’?” You said with an amused smile and added with a tinge of irony: “Or do you prefer ‘father’ now?”

Touya did not find it funny (or at least, he didn’t let it show on the outside, if he did). He cupped his mouth with one hand, looking to the side, as to ponder on something.

“You know what?” He directed his gaze at you. “I might have to rethink the idea that dating you would be so nice. Like, you… fucking dumbass.”

Ah, concerned Touya, pretty sweet, you had to admit, but there really wasn’t a reason for him to worry.

“Keigo was with me then.” You stated matter of factly.

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded, “I am going to talk with that bastard too… no heroing with Keigo for you!”

You seriously didn’t think that he would be so concerned about the whole ordeal. After all, it was in the past, nothing really happened and if it would have happened, then well… you wouldn’t be here to discuss it.

You smiled softly.

“I don’t think you have any say in this.”

You chuckled, when Touya very aggressively took a sip.

“Jumping off the building… Who fucking does that!?” Oh no, the stare of disapproval.

“Keigo.”

“Because he has WINGS!”

“Yeah, and he caught me because of them!” You paused for a moment and thought for a moment about it. “Though I actually wasn’t sure he would, I mean… you know. He IS quite strong though.”

Touya actually looked like he was ready to end it all right then and there.

“You… didn’t know if he would catch you?” He articulated very slowly, slightly squinting his eyes at you. “And you still jumped?”

“Yup! You know, the adrenaline, fight or flight… I chose flight obviously.” You immediately saw that your cheerful carelessness and (an amazing) joke were nor appreciated, as he looked at you with a blank face, complete deadpan.

“I think, sooner or later, I’m gonna have a heart attack because of you.”

To that, you just cackled and reassured him that you would try not to die in a near future.

***

“Sooo… My sweet Touya, my favorite Todoroki.” He braced himself for whatever you wanted to throw at him, while you shot him a suggestive look. “When are you going to do a new tattoo?”

Oh, he already knew where this was going.

“I don’t know. Why are you asking?” 

“You know…” You acted as if mulling on your idea and tilted your head to the side. “If you need some company…”

Touya sighed and just decided to get to the point.

“Do you wanna go with me?”

“Oh my god, can I?” You grinned and flicked your wrist. “You don’t have to!”

“Ok, then I’ll go alone.” He checked his phone, feigning disinterest, and took a quick look at you to see the hand still in the air and a very surprised expression on your face, that turned almost offended a second later.

“You can’t take it away from me! I’ll have you know, I have my rights.”

“I’m not taking anything away, since I never before said that you could go with me. You just always do.”

“Oh.” You looked down at your knees and did a fake sniff, knowing fully well he didn’t mind your presence… anywhere, really. “You don’t want me there?”

“Well, that-” he smirked slightly, “I never said.”

“So you’re just making a fool out of me then, I see how it is.” You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at him. He just laughed

“You already do it yourself pretty well.”

You gasped loudly with a hand on your chest.

“The audacity! You… how dare you! If you’re gonna be bitchy, I’ll fuck your sister, I will. Don’t try me.”

Touya rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Will you though?” He seemed unconvinced, you wondered why. “Honestly, I thought you did it already. You were going out with her for what? Two months? That’s long… for your standard.”

“Nooo, I didn’t… really, I did not.” Then a different thought popped up in your head. “Won’t it be weird that IF we… become a couple, potentially, and I would, hypothetically, meet your family somewhere, you know, by chance and all. That I am Fuyumi’s ex, I mean.”

He furrowed his brows to digest your question. 

“You think about that?” He smiled, seeing your awkward expression. “That’s cute of you.”

“BABY STEPS, PLEASE.” You loudly exclaimed, avoiding Touya’s eyes, to which he chuckled.

“Okay, just teasing you, baby.” His gaze softened. “But do you really care about that? What others think?”

“Uh…” you sighed, “I don’t know. Not really? But kind of.”

“It’s okay, baby steps, like you said.”

He leaned forward over the table, took your hand into his and soothingly caressed it with his thumb. Your heartbeat quickened a bit and, surprised at that, you just stared at Touya’s slowly moving finger. Feeling were never easy nor were they particularly good, but it felt so nice.

***

Suddenly you saw a flicker of colorful lights next to you, seeing that the decorations on the window were turned on. Looking out the window, you noticed how dark it became. The street neon lights were illuminated everywhere, people moving in all directions to unwind after hard days of work during the week. You were almost shocked at how fast the time went by.

“It’s pretty late, isn’t it?”

Touya hummed in agreement and, without saying anything, stood up to pay the bill. Earlier, you almost fought him to split it, but you came to an agreement that another time (“Oh, you already want to go out with me again?”, he teased) you would be the one paying. A moment later he came back, put his jacket on and you both exited the lovely cafe.

“So… where are we going?” You asked after following him in a completely opposite direction, to which you came from earlier that day.

“You’ll see.” 

Ah, so much for getting information out of Mr Todoroki.

With a sigh, you just decided to follow him in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, like it usually tends to be, for which you were grateful. He wasn’t pushy, let you do things at your own pace, so you felt… comfortable.

A moment later you felt him grab your hand and let him intertwine your fingers together. Again, the annoying feeling in your chest reappeared. You would need to get a grip on yourself, if this was to continue. The evening was getting quite chilly so Touya used his quirk to make his palm warmer, but you almost took your hand away. You knew that it was bad for him, especially without his support items, even though he was able to control it, almost to perfection. Before you were able to get away, his skin quickly went back to its natural cooler state with a light squeeze to your hand.

Going through the busy street, you were able to observe people differently than usual. On patrols, you were mostly checking out dark alleyways, some abandoned or suspicious buildings, sometimes sites on the outskirts of the city; being able to, sometimes, take in the lively energy of the crowd was enjoyable.

Touya stopped after turning into some calmer sideroad. He took his hand from yours to grab a helmet and then helped you put it on. 

“We taking your baby for a spin?”

“Of course.”

“Hmm, nice.”

After putting on his own helmet he sat down on the motorcycle, waiting for you to do the same. You noticed a new paint job on the matte black surface of the machine. On the sides were done shining blue flames, very on brand for him. You liked it. 

You sat down behind Touya taking a hold of his waist, when he revved the engine and slowly drove away from the busy part of the city. Expertly maneuvering the streets, soon enough you were driving on the outskirts, where barely anyone was out. You looked at the changing scenery over his shoulder, noting the road you were taking seemed familiar. The trees surrounding you from both sides made the night look a bit unnerving, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. The city was far behind already.

You squeezed him just a tiny bit stronger and put your head on his shoulder, careful not to knock the helmets on each other. Loud howling of the wind and the noise of the engine were a surprisingly calming combination, which you have discovered long ago, the first time Touya took you for a drive.

Finally, the motorcycle slowed down. You passed the old busted metal gate and entered a site surrounded by a tall chain link fence, made from wire much thicker than usual to make it more sturdy. The place was situated on a flat field, a bit away from the trees. You could barely see the outline of the big city from where you were.

The space where he parked was relatively empty, save for an occasional piece of metal or glass laying here and there. The only building was a huge square block, bare walls outside “decorated” only by identical windows with perfectly measured spaces in between them. The inside should be relatively empty. What ought to be there are only some vacated rooms and stairs leading from the ground, through three stories, to the roof.

You got off the motorcycle and took the helmet off, hanging it on the handlebar. Taking a closer look around, you notice a pair of sledgehammers and a can of gasoline next to the gate of the building.

“An abandoned Commission site, huh?” You asked rhetorically, but Touya looked surprised at that.

“How do you know what this place is?” 

You decided to ignore him and just pointed to the items you noticed.

“You planning to kill me here or something?” You said with a smile, looking at him. He quirked an eyebrow and moved to pick up the sledgehammers and offered you one.

“Birdbrain said we can trash this place.” You took the tool weighing it in your hand with ease.

“Of course he did.” You glanced at the gasoline. “Did he also say we can play with fire?”

Touya smirked, lifted his hand towards his face and lighted his pinky finger with blue fire. He then moved the hand more towards you, letting you blow it out.

“With me, it’s always playing with fire.”

“I knew you were an arsonist at heart, Touya.” You chuckled lightly, but your voice quickly died down when you looked at him.

He looked at you with an intensity that instantly hypnotized you to focus only on his eyes, which seemed to glow slightly. The only source of light was the moon and the stars in the sky so you were surrounded by harsh shadows and an occasional speck of moonlight.

The gaze with which he stared at you almost made you uncomfortable, because it seemed like he was able to read every little dirty secret you held deep within. A quick thought, that maybe he actually could read you like that, crossed your mind. 

He moved a step towards you and brought his hand to grip your chin. Not hard enough to hurt you, but enough to feel that he could, if he wanted to. Exciting.

He pulled your face a little, so that his lips were right next to your ear. You felt his hot breath on your skin, when he asked:

“Aren’t you?” 

You felt him move his mouth across your skin, from your ear right to your lips. The grip on your chin lessened as he moved his hand to hold the back of your neck instead. It wasn’t anything new to kiss him, but it felt a lot more intimate this time. No force behind it, no rush, nothing inherently sexual; just softness, an interesting contrast to his intense eyes and touches.

He moved away, just enough to speak up, your noses still touching.

“Come on.” He let go completely and moved to grab the gasoline, before entering the building.

You stood in place a moment longer, rendered speechless and motionless by the emotions you felt. The loud hammering in your chest was almost deafening. Not good, get a fucking grip. Without a word, you followed Touya inside.

After a few moments (when the blood pump finally decided to calm down), you glanced around. As you thought, a big empty space, at least on the ground floor. Since the electricity had been shut off a long time ago, the only light was coming from the moon and your phone flashlight. You went after him towards the stairs to the first floor, where a space was filled a little bit more by the rooms dividing the place.

Touya stopped next to a wall to one of the former offices and put his things down, before taking your phone to light your blank canvas, ready for destruction.

“Swing.” And so you did.

You braced yourself against the floor for stabilization and took a wide swing, from behind your back. The hammer made an impact with the wall and with ease penetrated it to the other side. Forcefully, you teared it out, making the hole two times wider.

Oh, it was so liberating. The destruction and chaos of this place would bring you much pleasure.

With a laugh, you took a next swing, and then another, and another. Both of you went on a rampage, destroying what you could in this deserted place. All of the windows broken (some of them with your fist covered in a rug found somewhere on the ground), the inside walls full of holes, doors ripped out of its hinges. The place filled only with dust, debris, and the laughter and screams of both of you.

After you had enough, you ended up lying on the roof. Touya’s head right next to yours, although upside down, as he laid in the opposite direction.

You stared at the clear night sky, admiring millions of stars visible that night. It was always an otherworldly experience to be able to see them. It made everything seem so insignificant in the comparison to the vastness and beauty of space.

Touya, however, was not looking at the sky. His eyes were focused solely on you. He liked the peace and calm visible on your face. You felt his gaze on the side of your face and turned your head to the side, to also look at him.

You moved your hand to push his hair back. It was always really soft to the touch.

“Your roots are showing.” You said quietly, looking at the white part of his hair. He just hummed with eyes closed, marveling at the soft touch on his head.

Before he could fall asleep here, you took your hand and sat up cross-legged. You turned around to look at him, still lying down and still looking at you.

“Didn’t you want to commit arson?”

He perked up at that and got up, but stopped you, when you moved to do the same.

“Wait a second and don’t move.”

You stayed seated and just observed as Touya took the can and started to pour the gasoline on the roof, away from the stairs, in some kind of pattern. When he finished, he motioned you with his hand to come to him.

Ah, so the gasoline heart then. You weren’t really surprised by it, but still laughed, although more at the weirdly proud expression Touya had on his face.

“It’s really cheesy,” you paused for dramatic effect, “I love it.” 

You kissed him lightly on the cheek, to which he froze for a second. Oh, could it be that this time you were the one to render him speechless? After the initial shock, he beamed at you with his stupidly wide grin that sometimes appeared on his face. Though, after a moment it faltered and he grabbed your upper arm. You could pull away, if you wanted, but you just let him hold you.

“Who was that man today?” This again. He seemed worried, more than anything, which you didn’t like that much, cause he could drill it out of you, if he truly wanted. So you decided to avoid his eye, looking in the other direction.

“I told you already… it’s a colleague from work.”

“You know I don’t buy it.”

“I know, but… it’s the truth.” You looked him straight in the eyes, so he would know that it was not a lie.

“I hope you know you can tell me anything.” You wished you could.

“Give me the matches.” He knew that for that moment that would be it, so he let go of your arm with a sigh and took out a small box out of his pocket.

You took it and moved to the other side of the gasoline heart.

You wiped your teeth with your hand, to which Touya raised his eyebrows, but when you took one match out of the box and lit it directly on your teeth, he did look impressed by your trick.

Touya lit his blue flame and both of you set ablaze the gasoline. The fire traveled from both sides, to meet in the middle and create more green-like color. From behind the flames, you were able to see just his silhouette. A beautiful, although terrifying (to some) imagery. 

When the fire started spreading, you quickly moved to leave this place behind. 

Again on the motorcycle, tightly embracing Touya’s torso, you looked back to stare at the rising flames. Colors mixed with each other, creating a picture any painter would be proud of.

Playing with fire was always thrilling, you just hoped none of you would get burned.

TAGLIST

@the-fandoms-georgie, @fanworrior, @gingerunicorn13, @theunicornnamedearl, @dabi-sunflower, @anniebromberg, @bakugouswh0r3, @ddsweetie

[popculture-etc]

2021 year in review: all on pop and entertainment (1 of 2)

My last post here was in December 2020. I did not mean to fall of the earth since. I have a post that just me going off on Joss Whedon here in the drafts somewhere. I never ended up posting that here this year when I meant to do so. Lol.

I'm an old school Buffy the Vampire Slayer (or BtVS and Charmed, etc) fan of the 90s, an older millennial born in the late 80s (1987, to be exact) and that post on sh*thead Whedon was something long due to be posted here because I've had it with everything he's done in the BtVS set, Angel to the Justice League set. I've also had it with his shitty storylines for female and black characters on his tv shows and films. I haven't seen him really handle asian characters but I bet he's as shitty at handling them as he does the female and black characters so...yeah...at least I don't have to go off on him on that one. He does seem to not be too into asian characters though and there's really a lack of asian representation on his works so it's pretty telling of how he treats people---asian, black, female, all.

But anyway, I didn't mean this post to be on a**hat Whedon. This post is a year in review of 2021 and by extension, some of 2020. I fangirl and flail on stuff on my twitter, @kg_0917, so I'll base this review of the year on that one.

So what are the highlights of 2021 for me...hmn...???

There's really not much highlights in real life because 2021, like 2020, was a year I spent mostly at home in as a homebody and due to the still ongoing Covid 19 pandemic. We've been on whatever kind of community quarantine since 2019-ish for how long exactly? Yeah, 2, almost 3 years now. It's all thanks to new variants of the novel corona virus, Delta and now, one thing we're looking closely at as Omicron. I feel like we will discover ALL the greek alphabet at this point should this go on.

So yes, since 2019, I hardly go out. I'm always at home. Right...since the company I previously worked in sent us all home and had us all work from home when the pandemic here in the Philippines worsened, heightened. I only ever went out for groceries, some errands, and the occasion hangout with my girls I miss so much now, still. (My bff and I just met up and hung out at the newly opened Tomas Saco branch of Chingkeetea too. It's a local tea place I've been obsessed about since it started here, back when I was in college me thinks, and boomed and continue to be strong 'til now.) I don't really order in a lot either because I'm mostly uncomfortable using food delivery services not attached to the cafes and restaurants I buy from so yeah. No Grab food delivery, Foodpanda and the likes for me.

2021...I don't know. For some, it's boring because we all stayed in but for others, like yours truly, we've found some things to preoccupy and amuse ourselves with while staying home. I know for some it's games---board games, video games and more---and bonding time with the family. For me and a good, really old friend since I was in LiveJournal (and yes, I'm still there now but I'm using the space for something else yet), it's music. We've both been into exploring the discographies of bands, groups and more of the past and present. She's a huge fan of punk rock or punk pop and 2020 and 2021, for me, made me discover that I'm really into mostly pop (indie, some mainstream, too, of course), tropical and chill deep house, and some rock'n'roll here and there. I'm also mostly into the American side of these things.

2020 and 2021 got me into:

1. The Beach Boys

(photo from google)

It's their Sounds of Summer that first got me. I'm notorious now for putting Kokomo on eternal repeat just because of how well made that song is. The beach vibe of that song is just...so strong I'm head-over-heels, very obsessed with it. After that, it's In My Room that basically sums up this series of lockdowns (community quarantine, in Philippines' case's terms) with my stuck in my room most of the time for me, and then Good Vibrations and I Can Hear Music because...well...I'm obviously a music nut.

Brian Wilson is THE songwriter for me. I am aware much of the songs he'd written and his band has put out were completed under the influence of, say, psychedelic drugs, hallucinogens and the likes but I still say and will keep repeating (I'll even bring this to my grave, yes) that Brian Wilson IS a music genius. The Beatles, John Lennon etc, WHO? I grew up on the Beatles but since I found the Beach Boys, I'm just...everything I am looking for is with them so why should I even bother with the Beatles, exactly? I don't even care if the Beach Boys aren't that big all over the world like the Beatles in their time. What I care about is how the Beach Boys' discography really fit me well. My music tastes and all. It's such a glove-fit like...well...fit and yes, I will never part with the Beach Boys' music.

I know of some the Beach Boys songs like Barbara Ann from Toy Story (that famous minions scene, yes) and Big Time Rush's cover and poolside performance of Dance, Dance, Dance in the summer, beach-set Big Time Rush TV movie so I'm definitely no stranger into the Beach Boys before immersing myself in their discography. I'm currently on the hunt for copies of their Sounds of Summer and Pet Sounds even if they're second hand so yes, how much I'm hooked onto them and their music...it's pretty serious. It's as serious as how I follow Big Time Rush's releases and OneRepublics' as closely as I can. Also...Tove Lo's stuff.

I'm also looking into owning some fan made merch or customized merch from the Beach Boys...tshirts mostly since I don't really have a lot of band and artists' shirts yet so yeah, I'll work on that. I did a post on this one on my fashion and lifestyle blog, fashionnutcase on blogspot/blogger and it's this one with the title: wholeheartedly not half-heartedly, on band/group tshirts.

2. The Monkeys

(photo from google, cheatsheet)

....but mostly Daydream Believer (my favorite from them) and I'm a Believer.

I'm still a bit weirded out that people only know of Daydream Believer because of Wanda or WandaVision on Disney+ when I've known of the Monkees who's originally sung and performed that way, waaayy back due to I'm a Believer (covered by Smashmouth, if I'm not mistaken) in Shrek and how Big Time Rush, both the band and the tv show, were modeled after them. The latter is circa 2010 knowledge for me so I'm old in terms of knowing of the Monkees, yes. But I definitely wasn't, then, old enough to even be a huge fan and try to see them live in the USA the couple of trips I had there, when some of them, members of the Monkees, still lived and played gigs all over the said country. But anyway, that's, I guess, a millennial vs gen z thing for you...us.

There's really not much I can say about the Monkees unlike how chatty I am with the Beach Boys. I have yet to really immerse myself into the former's discography because I still can't really get past Daydream Believer especially so yeah... I can only really just talk more of the Beach Boys and their music on this post than I can of the Monkees' music.

I am interested in the Monkees' TV show and that one controversial film they released that had some anti-vietnam war sentiments though. It was deemed controversial because at the time of its release, censorship on anything to do with being anti the vietnam-american war going on in the American media. Yet...from what I'd heard on youtube on a video about the Monkees, their tv show, their music, their film/s, it went right through media censorship and aired in cinemas at the time of its release with 0 problems compared to its contemporaries then. I forgot to take not of the film's title so I'm not going dwell on that much here. I just meant to share or say that I am interested in that film and I'd watch it and the Monkees' TV show should I find them just to compare them to with BTR's show, too.

3. Britney Spears

T(photo from google)

I'm currently contemplating on getting a tshirt of hers, too. Well, fanmade, mostly, because I think vintage ones are difficult to find now. They'd also be very expensive, of course.

I mentioned earlier and I'll say it again, I'm an older millennial born in the late 80s (1987) so I know the 90s decade pretty well because I lived it both as a pre-teen and middle to late teen. I know Britney and I have some of her tapes somewhere and yes, I love, LOVE her since Baby, One More Time. I think I just haven't followed her much since In the Zone (2003), I guess. I do know songs from her like My Prerogative, Womanizer, and yes, I even followed her film, Crossroads but I only ever owned cassette tapes of hers of until the 2001 release, Britney. Slave For You is just...ugh...queen and such a good song for me also, peak Britney! Yay!

Taylor Swift who? Kidding. I also like Taylor, I'm not much of a Swiftie however, since Fearless and especially Red (I know people went crazy for Taylor's Version of Red and that long MV of All Too Well that came out just recently) so yeah...I like Taylor. Not as much as I do Britney, however.

Yes, we ALL know Britney. Or, I guess the younger generation, gen z, do not know her all that much but we should ALL know Britney. She was amazing in her peak in the 90s and a better stage performer than Taylor, definitely, at the time and even until now. Britney is an all-rounder, Taylor isn't much of that. I dedicated some time just recently this year...I think around last month? November? to just watch some old Britney stuff and ugh. I fell in love with her all over again. I'm not even going to talk much about Christina Aguilera here and their rivalry because yeah...I'm not a huge Christina fan and I don't know...I just realized now that Britney and her impressive body of work is something you just can't get over so easily especially if you've grown up with her like I did and still do.

Anyway, yay, SHE'S FREEEEEE!!!! Yes! Go forth, Brit, my love, and do whatever you want now. Your money, the world, everything is yours now.

I actually also love her personality and herself as a whole from what I'd seen of her in some interviews and all that, yes, so I'm just as happy as her and other fans of hers like me that we can witness her be happy, content, free and just her precious, lovely, bubbly self now.

2021. You're grim mostly and bland and boring with most of us paranoid over our health and about contracting the virus and its variants but you gave us this. You had us bare witness to this, Britney being freed from her family's, her dad's conservatorship, and 2021, for that, YOU ARE EPIC! Definitely worlds better than 2020, the year before this, just because of this now.

Yeah, I'm definitely getting myself a replica concert shirt of hers or a fanmade one, one of these days, yes. I kind of can't wait to have that one. I've been scouting these bands and artists shirts on shopee, a local or Philippine national online shop site, and I've found some I like, definitely. I'll get those when I have enough from the part time work I do online these days. (Yes, a very, very random life update here is...yes, I've secured a part time job even if it doesn't pay much week in and week out. It does well to tide me over 'til next year. Until I've secured a much stable paying job that I've been after for a while now, hopefully by then. I resigned from my old company with a good friend and parted ways with them around last year-ish, 2020.)

This post is already long so I'll have to cut this year in review of 2021's in to two...or three at most since I'll also be talking of some tv shows, movies, and more here, too. This review of 2021 is definitely not just going to be all about music, yes.

[ravensmind]

Happy RobRae week 2021! Here's my day 1 prompt fic. There will be an extended smuttier version coming soon. Might only do this prompt this year just due to things I have going on, but I'm still writing! Hope you enjoy this 😃.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13863436/1/Finals-and-a-First

~RavensMind~

RobRae week 2021 

Day 1: Gotham Academy AU

Finals and a First

Finals week. Two simple words that had the power to make anyone quake with anxiety and while he may do a good job of hiding it, Dick Grayson was no exception. Luckily for him, he had a solid group of friends who had each other’s backs. They mostly studied as a group when they were free, unless their class schedule or extracurricular activity demanded they improvise. Gotham Academy was not known for caring about its students' friendships or whether they had free time to study together or not. Dick was on the football team and they did not have practice that day, so he was free, but Victor, Kori, Garfield, and Tara were all at meets or practices or matches or just in class, only Rachel was able to study with him, and that presented a challenge. Dick was enamored with Rachel, infatuated with Rachel, could not stop thinking about Rachel, and she had no idea because he just could. Not. Tell. Her. 

Even though Rachel Roth, the quiet, reserved, sarcastic, smart, violet-haired girl was sitting only inches away from him at the same table in the library, he could not look at her, as he had some paranoid feeling that she knew exactly how he felt when he looked at her. Normally, he would play off of his other friends, but now they were alone. He hid in his textbook, pretending to be very interested in some words located near the spine of the book in some rose colored block of text. Out of frustration with his own inner turmoil, he picked up the noble they’d been assigned to read and chucked it into a nearby bookcase.

“Are you okay?” Rachel asked in a frustrated tone.

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?” Dick returned.

"You’re just not usually this quiet, is all,” she replied.

“Guess I’m just nervous,” he said.

“About our finals?” 

“Yeah,” he said, thanking the universe for that excuse.

“I didn’t think you got nervous over stuff like this, at least I don’t think I’ve seen it. Wait ‘till this gets out, the chill, cool captain of the football team is freaking over his final,” she teased.

“But you wouldn’t tell anyone, right?”

“No. Lucky you, I don’t think anyone would believe me.”

“That the only reason you wouldn’t say anything?”

“No, because I don’t know that I believe you either,” she replied, toying with a strand of her hair with one of her slim, almost pale fingers.

Dick chanced a look at her and was surprised to see a playful smirk on her face and a strange look in her violet eyes that he was not sure he had seen before. He tensed a little when he realized he had slipped up and looked at her. Did she know? Was he screwed? The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable and get on her bad side. She had enough trouble dealing with the gossip and judgmental teachers for her goth vibe and overall lack of shits to give attitude.

At one point, he heard Rachel had been summoned to the dean’s office for violating the dress code by wearing black knee highs over fishnets and foregoing the standard blue skirt for a black one. Her response was that technically she was in compliance, as there was no rule about a specific color skirt, or that she could not wear anything in addition to the socks on her legs, and she was a model student. Aside from snapping at a teacher or two, she was rarely in trouble, and he knew she had good grades. She still kept that style, even though more teachers voiced their disapproval, but they ultimately could not do anything without changing the dress code and it was not worth it. After he heard about what happened, Dick helped her out by changing the color tie and slacks he wore from blue to black, as his popularity would make her style choice far less controversial. He had mostly done it to help her, but he also liked being seen as more of a rebel. He stuck up for her when she was being picked on and she was always quick to shut down anyone who was bad-mouthing him.They had grown a bit closer as a result, though neither really acknowledged it to the other. 

He swallowed and considered what his options would be if she dug deeper. He hoped that he could talk his way out of whatever accusation she was about to make. He shifted in his chair and cleared his throat.

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

“Hmm. Well, you’ve never really stressed about tests before. When Gar complains, you calm him down and put together a plan to study, so I’m pretty sure you’re more level-headed,” she replied.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not nervous.”

“No, but I think it’s less likely that it’s about the exams. Now that I think about it… you kind of acted like this last time we hung out. Maybe it’s about one of us,” she thought aloud.

“Like I said, I’m nervous about finals. It’s, uhh, just been a lot for me this time. It’s our last year and I don’t want Bruce to be harder on me if I don’t measure up,” he said, injecting a little truth, desperately hoping it would help sell his lie.

“I suppose that’s fair, but I still don’t think it’s that.”

“Why’s it matter? It’s not like I’m hiding anything that would hurt people. I’m just stressed!”

“You’re hiding plenty, but that’s not the point. It matters,” she hesitated before continuing, “because I don’t like seeing you stressed. It’s like I can feel it and I want to help you. Something’s clearly eating at you and I hate seeing you try and bury it like it’s not there.”

He sighed and looked  down at his book. He stared down at the page as he felt the swelling of emotions that rose from his heart. He wanted to spill everything, but knew that it would not be fair to her, to dump everything at once and give her a massive choice to make about them. He cared about her and she clearly cared about him, so he thought he might be able to at least give her a hint or two. She was dealing with more than enough, she didn’t need his problems too.

“Okay...don’t laugh. It’s about a girl,” he said.

Rachel perked up and tilted her head. Dick swore her eyes lit up, but that may have just been a trick of the light as someone passed by the window near them, book in hand. 

“I’m not going to laugh! What’s making you so nervous? I seriously doubt you’d ever need to be stressing over a girl, plenty throw themselves at you, though I guess that could be tough too.”

“She’s different. I like her, but she’s never really said if she likes me or not. I hang out with her quite a bit and we have fun, or I think we do. I'm just not sure if I want to take a chance and mess up a good thing.”

“You’re being ridiculous.. Clearly she likes you enough to spend time with you, you should have had some kinda obvious sign by now. Some girls tease you or act a certain way around you, others might be more blunt, but you have to know at this point. Though, it would help if you said who she is,” she teased knowingly.

“Hah, yeah, it is a little silly,” he chuckled, “You wouldn’t tell her though?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m interested, I need to get ready for the big reveal, lots of pyro and speakers to set up,” she replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes, “No, of course not, idiot. You know you can trust me. Why the secrecy, though? Is it... Kori?”

She leaned forward with interest, almost teetering on the edge of her seat.

“No, uh, but you’re kinda close,” he said, anxiously shifting in his chair.

He watched as she went quiet and crossed her legs in her chair, sitting up a bit straighter as she considered the possible remaining options. He hoped she had thought of herself first.

“I admit, I could see why you’d like Tara, she’s pretty easy to talk to and knows what she likes, which isn’t common,” she said, tracing her bottom lip with her finger, “I think she can be a little insecure though, so you may want to keep that in mind.”

He wondered to himself if she was toying with him.

“It’s uhh, it’s not Tara, either,” he admitted, his cheeks turning red.

Rachel’s cheeks also reddened as her mouth formed a coy smile, and she went quiet. Her fingers played with the edge of a page in her textbook as she looked away from Dick toward the door before snapping back so her eyes met his.

“Oh. So, I think if you like her, you really should say something. I’m not sure if I know *exactly* how she feels, but I’d want to hear you say how much you like me. I’d like to know how I made you feel… if I was her,” she teased.

“Are you sure? I uhh, I’d hate if I came on to her too strongly, she’d shut me down and it would mess with the friendship she and I had,” he asked, undoing his tie and opening his school blazer a little. He was feeling very warm all of a sudden.

“I don’t think she would let that happen, Dick,” she replied, leaning closer to him, “You should probably tell me who she is...so I have a better idea.”

He took a deep breath and smiled at her, letting the moment last, enjoying the hopeful, expectant look on her face.

“Her name is Rachel,” he said, edging closer to her.

Dick felt his heart pounding in his chest and he swore his face was burning as they both got closer to each other, until his lips were inches from Rachel’s. Neither looked around to see who else in the library might be watching, and the idea that anyone else even existed was as distant as another planet. Her eyes closed as she pressed her lips to his and he eagerly kissed her back, hardly believing this was happening. Their heated kiss was interrupted by the sound of the librarian reprimanding a classmate of theirs at another table on the other side of a bookcase. Rachel smiled at him, biting her lip while she studied his face for a moment.

“That. Is what you get when you tell the truth,” she said.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Light on me Ep 9&10

Well if this week hasn't been an up and down of emotions... I got all worked up in front of the screen and cried out of frustration. The writers sure know how to keep the excitement up and I still can't fully wrap my head around how realistic all these characters are. They all have flaws and it depends on how close they are to Tae-Gyeong or what side of themselves they are showing him in how dominating the bad habits are. It is visible this story is told from one perspective. All characters act in the way Tae-Gyeong expects from them or in the way he feels their vibe. Namgung is the funny but wholesome guy. This scene at the end showed him in different light, his loyal side. It truly is a hard job portrayinng a realistic world and characters acting as stupid and desperate as high school students do.

So-Hee

This week, we learn a lot about Da-On and his biggest flaw:

This man has no priorities and I'm on So-Hee's side when it comes to being hurt about it because I can relate to that very much. I had a friend once whom I just vibed with and I felt like I was a special friend to him, but then we didn't talk as much any more and it didn't bother him at all. My place was filled with someone else and I came to realise he treats everyone the same, tells the same amout of secrets. So no one is closer to him than the others and he's not just the way he is around you, he shows everyone the same side. I was really hurt by that, so I can feel So-Hee's point and why that hurts. It gives you the feeling of not mattering enough. But that's only as far as I can go because the other stuff she does is really respectless and disgusting.

In the end, she's just hung up on the idea of being with Da-On and waits for him constantly even though it's a lost hope. She doesn't move on and still pretends she's special to him even though she knows she isn't. She never was. But this lie she told herself became her own truth and that's why she's so very jealous of Tae-Gyeong and tries to join forces with Shin-Woo. But thankfully Namgung steps up and at least says something against her hysterically harsh words.

You think you know Da-On the most, but you don't know anything. You let your feelings get ahead of you and act like a child. What do you know?

But there's no more hope for So-Hee and she decides to do the btchmove by releasing that photo. I'm not gonna talk much about it because I'm already getting mad again. In what worl is a forced outing fair?!

Namgung

There's not much to say about Namgung. Only that he loves food, is funny and probably quotes every possible source that gave love advice. He's charming and seems pretty harmless until he talks to So-Hee. His voice suddenly turns calm and deep. He has a very accusatory look on his face and his eyes widen a bit when So-Hee asks him if he's gay. I don't even think he's gay. He just got really defensive and was done with her at that moment because of the way she says it, I guess. She pronounces it in a very harsh and unfair manner. It sounds like an insult which is just crossing a line. And Namgung thankfully made clear she did.

Da-On

Da-On is a very complicated and closeted character. He never opens up to anyone but you can see he tries sometimes but not enough. You have to lur information out of him and even then, you don't get a real answer. It's mainly why I think he will end up alone in the end. He's not ready to open up yet because he doesn't even see in what way his behavior hurts others.

He treats everyone the same, lets them interrupt moments and seeks excuses in tasks. I don't really know why he does that to be honest. Why would he never prioritize his friends over other people? It doesn't add up to me. You could lie in the hospital and he would still leave because someone asked him to. It is very frustrating and instead of inviting others in, he pushes them away, keeps everyone at a distance he can manage but never learns about borders and signs. There are things you simply don't do with people who are not your friends plus you only adjust to a group as far as you can stay your true self. Denying and hiding is not what having friends means. Da-On constantly trying to adjust to people to seem as appealing, hurts Tae-Gyeong. It means Da-On doesn't wear his bracelet. It means Da-On takes his hand away. It means Da-On cares too much.

To be honest, I feel uncomfortable around Tae-Gyeog. He's too honest. I don't know how to treat him.

This was probably the most real Da-On has been in a very long time. I think Tae-Gyeong fascinates and intimidates him at the same time. Da-On has a lot of secrets, so he tried adjusting to Tae-Gyeong by telling him one but he finds it makes him feel uncomfortable but now he doesn't know how to pull away. He's not good at being honest but he gave Tae-Gyeong false hope.

Like I said, there are always borders. Da-On touches Tae-Gyeong a lot which Tae-Gyeong countes as physical contact in a romantic way because not much time passed since they met. It wasn't clear Da-On only tried to cover his uncomfortness. He is not honest. And why is that? Because of expectations. I meantioned the problem with Da-On and expectataions nearly every week now and it fits more and more. He's nice to everybody because they expect him to. That's why he will never change or will have a hard time changing for a person because he feels pressured to be what the others need him to be, feels like he needs to be there.

Shin-Woo

Shin-Woo is always so quiet and shy and calm but I truly laughed out of malicious joy when he talked So-Hee down. She wants to join forces with him, wants them both to manipulate Tae-Gyeong and Da-On in the way they want them to be and Shin-Woo just says something like "I decide when I give up" and just walks away. So-Hee doesn't know what to say and Shin-Woo just seems like a badass.

Now, I like Shin-Woo even more. He even gives Da-On advice and you can see he talks from his heart. The entire talk between Da-On and Shin-Woo was tense and I was on the tip of my toes waiting for them to build sentences.

After the advice, Shin-Woo kind of works as a wingman here. Da-On looks like "please stay, it's uncomfortable" and Shin-Woo's face is just like "no, I told you to be honest".

But yeah, he's the same grumpy person as before. Tae-Gyeong more and more discovers his good sides and since Tae-Gyeong doesn't know him because Shin-Woo is so quiet, he doesn't seem to have flaws, he's flawless in his eyes.

Tae-Gyeong

Tae-Gyeong really frustrated me this week, honestly. when he said:

And went down to the beach afterwards to talk to Shin-Woo, I had so much hope I'd get a confession from him. I thought he meant Shin-Woo because he was the one who didn't talk about feelings and all. Da-On said something about liking and then Tae-Gyeong says his feelings are one-sided? Sorry, but I didn't get it at that point. It makes sense later but that really urked me until he confessed to Da-On. Even that, I didn't like at all.

But I feel sorry for TAe-Gyeong. He waits and waits and nothing good comes with it. He realizes he has to move on. Da-On won't change for him. Da-On has to find the right person to change for and that one is not Tae-Gyeong. (it's not So-Hee either but who am I telling this)

In that episode, we have some sort of change in the storytelling. After that scene in the cafeteria, something about the atmosphere changes and I can't really name it. It's like we're back at the beginning. Tae-Gyeong was so caught up with Da-On, his perspective on other things changed and even lacked because he didn't pay attention any more. Now, he's trying to move on and spends time with Shin-Woo and the atmosphere changes. It's like his eyes opened to world again.

Conclusion

Let's see how the posted picture So-Hee released will play out. Probably not in a good way. Just like all forced outings. Everyone cares and I still don't know why they should. I hope So-Hee will leaarn her lesson because I can't bear her any longer...

But until that, here an example of Shin-Woo's love language:

Hurtiing/bumping into other people on purpose.

[kiara-carrera]

“I'm a mess” + Leah and JJ!

95: i'm a mess + mayson

thank you for continuously aiding my obsession with them. i'm actually really happy with how this came out omfg. very much not canon compliant to the actual fic and clueless (slightly jealous) babies. also weed, if you're not down with that (the smoking stuff is also probably v poorly written because i've never smoked in my life lmao).

"Is that my shirt?"

Leah nearly fell out of the hammock. She practically jumped out of her skin, one hand grabbing onto the side and the other clutching the joint she'd rolled a few minutes earlier. Her head whipped around to see JJ walking up to the trees outside the Chateau, an amused grin on his face.

"Jesus fuck, J. Don't sneak up on people like that," Leah whined, flipping him off as he came to a stop in front of her. He grabbed the side of the hammock, stopping it from swinging aggressively as she regained her balance.

"My shirt," he repeated, tugging at the sleeve of it.

She glanced down at the Pelican Marina shirt as if she just remembered she was wearing it. She'd randomly grabbed it from his room when she got back to the Chateau with John B, having ditched the party — and technically JJ? — at the boneyard. "Oh yeah, I got beer all over mine."

He raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Long story," she dismissed with a wave of her hand. Specifically, the one with her lit joint, which didn't go unnoticed by JJ.

"And you took my weed, too?" he exclaimed, eyeing the joint in her hand. Even buzzed, JJ had about thirteen issues with the way it was assembled, but rolling was never Leah's strong suit.

"No." She gave him a mischievous grin, shooting a conspiratorial wink. "It's John B's."

JJ chuckled at her expression, gasping with pride as he slapped a hand over his chest. “My little klepto! I've trained you well."

She shrugged. "I spotted him money for the last keg, he owes me. Wanna smoke it with me?"

JJ eyed her poor craftsmanship, but ultimately accepted with a shrug. Leah tried her best to keep still as JJ climbed into the hammock, sitting back against the other end to be across from her. The swayed a bit before he finally settled in, slotting one of his legs between hers.

She held out the joint to him, waving it tauntingly in front of him. JJ chuckled, plucking it from her fingers.

He took a quick hit, cringing when he let the smoke free. "This is shit weed."

"That's because John B bought it."

" ... Fair enough."

They sat in comfortable silent for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth as the very beginnings of a nice mellow feeling started to creep into Leah's veins. She tried her best to blow a smoke ring, but it came out more like a disjointed blob.

JJ snorted. “Weak."

"Dick," she grumbled, kicking her foot into his calf.

He rolled her eyes at the childish action, before posing a question. "Wanna tell me why I had to walk my ass back here tonight?"

Right. They'd ditched him. Whoops?

Okay, look, they had a reason. One of them being an absolutely trashed John B. He rarely got piss drunk but on the occasions that he did, there was a high chance he'd either do something really stupid or fall dead asleep and Leah had preferred to have him fall asleep at home then on the beach for her and the other's to drag him to the van.

Plus, JJ's attention had been firmly elsewhere at the time.

"Yeah, John B got a little too drunk and I was covered in beer and Kie and Pope have to work tomorrow so we decided to call it," she answered, feeling slightly guilty that they'd bailed on him. She gave him a regretful smile. "We were gonna get you, but you seemed ... preoccupied."

From the start of the party, some girl had practically latched herself onto JJ, and as usual, he lapped up all the attention. Leah didn't blame the girl. JJ was probably the hottest guy on the island, but Leah didn't really want to see him making out with some girl right in front of her.

But, uh, not that she cared. Obviously.

She changed the subject, trying not to sound like some bitter little baby. "So we just, uh, left. Pope said he texted you to let you know."

Pope definitely did not text JJ, but the blond wasn't going to fault him for it. No harm, no foul, especially since he most likely drove home with Kie tonight. God knows Pope was ass over elbows for their friend.

JJ nodded slowly a few times, like he was bobbing his head to an invisible beat. He could already tell he wasn't going to get a good high from John B's shit stash, but at least the keg at the boneyard had gotten him buzzed enough.

The keg, which reminded him of something. "Speaking of beer — "

"We weren't speaking of beer."

"Speaking, thinking, same difference," JJ dismissed, giving a nudge to her leg. "Why were you covered in beer again?"

Leah groaned, letting her head toss back in annoyance. "Fucking Kooks, that's why."

JJ frowned. "I mean, sure, but how ... ?"

Leah sighed, taking one last hit before leaning forward to hand him the joint. When she let the smoke go, she said, "Well, there was this guy I was with for most of the night. I don't know if you saw me after we ditched keg duty."

Oh, JJ had noticed. He definitely fucking noticed.

"He looked like a preppy asshole," he commented, trying to seem nonchalant. It was a wonder Leah bought it, because really he just sounded like a petty little bitch. He brought the joint to his lips, asking, "What happened to your no Kook rule?"

"He was a Touron," Leah replied. "A rich-y rich one, but a Touron all the same."

"But I thought you said — "

"Kook comes in later," she told him. She adjusted her position in the hammock, playing with the hem of JJ's shirt. "Although the Touron was actually a preppy asshole, so you're not really wrong. I mean, he seemed nice at first? But he was also ridiculously boring and full of himself. Ended up being a total dick."

"So basically he was a Kook without the Figure Eight address?"

"Pretty much. So anyways, we're talking and he's mostly going on about himself, which, like, fine, whatever, I was just waiting for him to wanna make out with me anyways — " She didn't notice the way JJ's eyes narrowed just a bit. " — And some fucking Kook drunk off his ass knocks into us and his beer spills all over me."

JJ let out a low whistle. "That blows."

"Oh, definitely. So my shirt's fucking drenched, like, I'm a mess, right? And you'd think any halfway decent person would like, I don't know, be good about the situation? Nope, the fucker decided it would be a great time to make a wet t-shirt contest joke about my boobs. Or, according to him, lack thereof."

Leah rolled her eyes as she laughed at the stupidity of it all, leaning over to snatch the joint back, taking another hit off it. She'd been pissed at first, but the look on his face when she dumped her drink on him was enough to ease her mind.

JJ on the other hand didn't seem as amused. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Like I said, total dick."

"You should've come and got me, would've had him on his ass."

The angry look in JJ's eyes was enough to make a soft smile break across Leah's face. That alone seemed to dim some of the irritation in his expression.

"Easy there, killer," she told him, leaning up to pat him on his leg. "I already threw the rest of my drink at him."

JJ conceded with a grumble, a part of him slightly amused at the thought, but he still muttered, "Still could use his ass kicked though."

"He could've, but I also don't need you fighting every guy who so much as looks at me the wrong way," she snorted. "Besides, I think you're forgetting I have a very nice right hook of my own."

The mental image of Leah socking Rafe Cameron in the face was enough to make them both burst out laughing.

It was a few minutes before all the laughter was out of their systems and they were back to a mellow quiet, the sounds of crickets chirping filling the air.

"So why were you even hanging out with him if he was such a boring dick?"

Because you had your tongue down that girl's throat.

She didn't really know how to answer his question without verging on embarrassing, friendship destroying, Pogue rule number one breaking honesty.

"Boredom? I don't know. Just looking for someone to hook up with, I guess," she replied, not really noticing how he bristled at her answer. Instead, she took an opportunity to try her hand at another smoke right, squealing in delight when a wonky, yet undeniably round ring blew from her lips. "Look!"

JJ grinned at the childlike wonder in her eyes, swaying slightly as she made the hammock swing a little with her excited bounces. He shook his head at her, watching her slip back to rest more comfortably in the hammock, her legs nudging his every so often. His gaze was absentmindedly fixed on the sight of his shirt on her when she cut into his thoughts.

"So, uh, how come you're not with ... " Leah trailed off. She didn't know the girl's name nor did she really want to. She was also worried if she kept going, a twinge of jealousy would leak into her words.

She was totally not jealous, though, by the way. Just to make that clear.

"Just wasn't really vibing," JJ said casually.

In all honesty, he'd only really stopped vibing when he saw that stupid fucking tourist all over Leah. The guy had looked like a dick and her story pretty much proved it, but the sight of them had tanked his mood incredibly. So when his own Touron had invited him back to the place she was staying, JJ bailed.

There were only so many times you could hook up with other people while thinking of the same goddamn person, especially when you shouldn't — no, couldn't be thinking about that person.

Because they were your best friend and you were a fucking idiot.

"Oh."

He leaned over, plucking the joint from her fingers. He took a hit, letting the smoke seep out of his mouth after a moment. He tried to play the situation off, grinning at her. "Eh, not a big deal. Besides, why would I want to be there when I can chill with my best friend?"

The words best friend hung in the air between them.

Neither one of them liked the way it sounded.

Neither one of them had the guts to do anything about it.

[tomb-bloom-noctem]

Mental health recovery, the little moments of angst that get brushed aside trying to not let it get to them before the eventual break that happens later, romantic fluff, intentional and thematic repetition, and for the love of God descriptions. I flipping thrive when I'm writing shit like "That unexpectedly hit him. Now he watched as she grew more uncomfortable looking. Her hands clasped tightly like in prayer. Was she too looking for forgiveness where there was none? Her eyes fluttered back open. Looking over her tightened knuckles to him. Like he was the goal on the other side of the chasm for her to reach. His yellow eyes, hinted with red on the outer rim, hung low like a warm sunset."

Or like "Yeah well. It's what I have to do," Shadow replied. This time completely lacking any venom or fire. In fact he sounded...sad? Maybe it was only tiredness. Though Silver suspected it was more than simply body tired. More like the kind of weariness that seeps into you. Into your bones. Deep inside your ribs. Burrowing somewhere in your heart and lungs. Making it so you feel too drained to even breathe right. Something he felt so many nights too. A tiredness that makes you ask why go on at all? What was even the point in trying?"

Or even "Not the answer Della was looking for. Not at all. The vague guidance left her feeling oddly hollow. An enormous gaping hole in her chest. Having swallowed up her heart and lungs. Making her breathing seem impossible. Deep breaths couldn't pull in oxygen. She was drowning. Sinking in sea of emotions. Sinking in water that was on fire. Anger like an oil spill. Dark disgusting oil sitting atop the waves and burning hot, burning all around her. Sadness, guilt, pain, isolation, all the tears making the freezing water she found her self drowning in. Crazy how she found herself so drawn to the fires of anger. It burned horrible, destructive with a foul stench and dangerous. But the heat was more comfortable than this coldness. She could almost forget she was drowning in its heat. Now, as the waves moved her further away, she couldn't forget it. It was all she could feel now. Frozen and overwhelmed. Head barely above water then sinking once more. Coughing up the salt water as it drained her energy. Her life. This was rock bottom. Once believed to be the empty void of space, now accepted to be this metaphorical ocean. Rock bottom wasn't the crash site on the moon. It was right here in her bedroom. Early in the morning, hungover, and nowhere left to hide."

Just ahhhhh my gosh when I can actually figure out the exact vibe I'm looking for in a scene, the words flow in this huge pile of descriptions. Maybe to some it's excessive and ridiculous but for me it feels just right when I can nail those descriptions no matter how many words it takes.

Writing question

This was a tag game, but I want to hear as many answer to this as possible. What are the 5 things you never get tired of writing? Tropes, themes, characters, phrases, settings, genres, very specific elements, styles,...

[yeeyee-alumni]

This will be my last response to these essays because I don’t think we’ll get to a point where there’s mutual ground and that’s okay lol. I did want to respond though because you offered some valid critiques on my post as well. This won’t be as long as the other for sure (at least I hope not).

You’re correct in that it’s up to interpretation of whether or not Abby feels guilt and if the small moments they provide us with are a indication of that. I can’t help but feel had she had a conversation with someone about guilt, it would have been met with resistance and notions of “so predictable” and not made a difference (not from you specifically. A lot of players of the game would have hated it no matter what because it didn’t live up to what they had in mind). Maybe I'm wrong with this and it would have been well received but no way to know.

As I stated in my previous response, the connection with Lev and Yara seemingly was brought on by them saving her and vice versa. Whether or not she feels obliged to help them because of this, there’s no reason to believe she would have gone back to the WLF after going AWOL. Owen couldn’t go back after Danny. Lev and Yara absolutely wouldn’t make it past the front gates. It goes back to the theory about purpose. If she’s found a new purpose in caring for the two of then, then why would she go back to the WLF? That’s not saying that after 4 years she wouldn’t have befriended anyone. We saw small interactions with a few characters but nothing that would lead us to believe she created deep connections with multiple people that weren’t a part of the Salt Lake Crew. Is it possible? Yes. Was there sufficient evidence given to support this? No. She had a choice though and after 48+ hours of hell and back with Lev and Yara, it doesn’t seem out of the box that she would choose them (Lev,Yara,Owen/Santa Barbara [again pre Mel conversation] over a group that wanted her dead). That ‘you’re my people” line feels like the most obvious indication that her allegiances have changed and that it had something to do with the bond she’d developed with them through their ‘adventures’ (putting that in parentheses because adventures should be fun and not messed up lol).

In no way shape or form did I say you are not allowed to criticize writers. People have every right to criticize. What I said was it’s not cool to resort to personal attacks. Criticizing a story that you find to be poorly written is different than calling the writers talentless and not creative. Bring up whatever issues you have with pacing/character choice/scene structure/lack of thoroughness/etc, but simply calling writers less talented and less creative isn’t conrtsuctive criticism. That’s lobbing personal insults at them, not offering any sort of feedback on their professional choices. That’s where I have issues. Not with offering criticism in general. There is a difference.

As for the theatre, I’m honestly not so sure why you continually dismiss the reality that Abby also had traumatic experiences, not just Lev. No ones trauma is greater than anothers. Trauma is trauma. Nearly everyone in this game with a substantial role in the story has experienced trauma. If we look at their 3 days and limit it to that time frame: Lev lost his sister, had to kill his mother in self defense, and was running from a group he grew up with. Abby was nearly hung, had Manny killed in front of her, and found Owen and Mel killed (Owen being of most importance). Those are just a few examples for each. I never said I didn’t care about her choices and whether or not they were questionable. That’s you assuming. What I did was offer up a possibility that Lev was aware of what would happen upon giving her the map.

Eye for an eye is a concept for retaliation/punishment at its very core so suggesting dhe should have let Joel go because he saved her doesn’t make sense as an eye for an eye scenario. That could be viewed as a reward or a compromise which by definition is not what eye for an eye is about.

The retort to the essay wasn’t intended to have any personal bias so if there were points of that, it wasn’t intentional. My response was based off what the game itself presented and the writing it gave us at face value. The whole point was playing devils advocate with offering counter arguments. I am very much a ‘devils advocate look at things from a neutral perspective’ person because I enjoy discussions.The whole point of me writing it was that aside from the bias, the writing came off as you knew better and that it was your way or the highway. That’s what was mentioned in the response to the Joel essay that I don’t think was posted, that the bias gave off a vibe that wasn’t approachable and that it seemed like an “I know better this is how it is” piece.

As for the add on reblog after the initial post, you are entitled to feel how you do. Once more, I never said that wasn’t allowed. Sort as I echoed above, I’ve pointed out multiple times that the main issue was the tone and how it came across and that it doesn’t necessarily feel like it offers up an environment that would foster a constructive discussion. This game is something lots of people get very emotional about. I’m simply saying if the intent is to write a persusasive essay vs an essay in general, bias and tone could be hurting you instead of helping. But if the intent was to get all the thoughts down on paper and out and not necessarily to try and ‘recruit’ (very loose use of the word), then having the bias/tone/emotion makes more sense. You have a very valid point that perhaps a verbal discussion can work better because some things get lost in translation through writing as it is quite often these days. Again, I enjoy reading different takes on different mediums and seeing that a couple of your essays had popped up in the tags, I went ahead and read them. Keep doing what you’re doing and I look forward to future essays. (this might have ended up just as long as the other, I honestly have no idea lol, my bad but I enjoyed this back and forth!)

I really did too!

And I think it's totally fine for us to not come to an agreement regarding this. I feel like discussions like these (especially about art that tend to be quite subjective) need more of "two people voicing their opinion, having an exchange and the conversation ending with both parties sticking to their point of view and accepting/respecting each other for that".

This discussion, at least for me, has been enriching, entertaining, and challenging even, which is exactly what I'd hoped I'd get out of posting my essay(s) in the first place. So thank you again for being so open-minded, critical, respectful, and for reaching out in the first place!

Regarding my future essays, I will from this point onward put even more effort into being less "high horse"-y and more neutral, as I do of course understand how that would be much more helpful in getting people to engage in an actual conversation/discussion.