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thestarfishinjootsoffice · 2 years ago

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If requests are currently open, could I ask for Platonic Slashers with a big sibling figure reader? I think it'd be so wholesome!!

I have no idea how long since I posted. Also I'm confused about the big sibling figure, did you mean older sibling or plus size. I'm choosing the first one but anyways here you go!

Slashers with older sibling figure reader!

Michael

He's near you 24/7, you're the closest thing he has to family and that results in him stalking you a lot.

There are a lot of possibilities of how this happened, maybe you met each other when you were kids, maybe he saw your inner older sibling energy while he was stalking you, maybe you just randomly met.

There's a lot. And you're lucky you did because now you have this bigass 5'10ft - 6'9ft killing machine that's protecting you always.

You are a real lucky one, you may also see his "softer" spots occasionally. But he acts little bit of an ass if you bring it up. No need to worry though he's just a bit embarrassed that's all.

And all hell will break loose if anyone hurts you, his skin and jumpsuit will be warm and colourful covered in blood by your attacker unlike his cold dark soul and mindset. No one lays a bad finger on his dear older sibling, everybody knows that.

There are times where you and Michael are sitting on the couch and you're ranting to him sounding like an undertale character and he just looks like my profile pic.

Have you ever felt being watched while walking down the road? Don't worry that's just Michael making sure no danger comes to you, if another set of eyes lay on you that's ok. He'll reduce it by only one pair soon.

Sinclair brothers

You met the brothers, maybe when they were children or young teenagers. Because it'll take a shit long while for them to completely trust you and look at you as their big sibling if they were adults.

Bo never really got affection from his mother so instead he relies on yours as a replacement. Unlike being his s/o where it takes a lot of time for him to show his true feelings and his constant tough act, it won't take long for him to be vulnerable with you. You're basically his older sibling, what does he need to hide? It's not like you'll leave him or degrade him. You never did. He still sometimes keeps the tough act though. Still kinda bitchy sometimes and sometimes (sorry for saying sometimes so much) he gets frustrated at how delicate he can get with you and says some hurtful things for the sake of his pride and dignity but then later regrets it and apologises to you. Also accidentally calls you brother/sister/sibling from time to time and his face turns red.

Vincent got attention from his mother but that was just because he acted like a goodboy, affection.... It's complicated. But there's nothing better than platonic sibling love and affection. When things are getting rusty and agitating he comes to you for comfort and just lays next to you slightly crying. Is also less hesitant to show his face under that mask. Just a bit. You and him sometimes take a stroll on the museum and talk about about so many sibling related things (jk) it's just you praising him for his artworks and him being a happy little artist boy. He's kinda dependent on you and looks for your approval and advice and you have to remind him at times that he can make decisions on his own. Will always try to help you with things even if you insist you don't need his help. (bo yelling at vinny to fuck off while his arm was shot with an arrow and vinny is still trying reference)

Lester wasn't given much attention or affection. So he thrives off of yours like Bo. He calls you sibling too but without shame, you're technically his older sister/brother/sibling. He doesn't need to be ashamed of shit. Although he mostly calls you bro because why not. He comes to you calling you whatever of your preferences and talks about his roadkill to you "look what I ran over!" although carefree he is more cautious, it takes time for him. But when he does your relationship bond gets even bigger than before! If anyone hits on you or degrades you he'll come out of the corner of nowhere and yells "hey! That's my sis/bro/sib you're talking about!" and attacks that little piece of shit. He calls you that a lot more than your actual name. He's dependent too and comes to you for advice alot, wether it's about choosing what color of socks he should wear to dating advice. "hey bro, should I wear this or this?" "hey bro, how to attract some bitc-" you get the idea.

I hate that I'm losing more and more motivation day by day.

#slasher x reader #slasher x you #og michael myers #michael myers x you #rz michael myers #michael myers x reader #sinclair brothers #sinclair twins #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair #lester sinclair #sinclair brothers x reader #vincent sinclair x you #vincent sinclair x reader #bo sinclair x you #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #no because he's actually so cute sbhs

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mrs-monaghan · 2 years ago

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Previous anon here again, I just wanted to clarify in response to your answer: I totally agree with the over exaggerated edits of supposedly Jungkook being jealous of the members, most of them are bs (maybe except for a very few instances with Namjoon?). I was thinking of a few moments that do seem legit to me and as you said especially the ones with people outside of the band. I was also thinking of the moments with Taemin, though I still wonder if Jungkook was jealous of him or if he just didn’t like him for whatever reason (which is a shame cause I love Taemin!!) I think in the past Jungkook had a tendency of being a bit possessive, which seems quite normal to me, he was really young and probably insecure, it happens. Ha anyway, he has grown a lot though.

Oh for sure JK had a huge issue with Taemin. Huge. Don't people believe the manilla fight may have had something to do with Taemin? My friends i think that Jimin may have had to practise on JK's birthday and the latter wasn't having it. Like its the only thing we can think of because, Jikook were fine during the day celebrating. So what happened overnight so that the next morning at the airport they couldn't even look at or be next to eo?? How can things go wrong in such a short amount of time? Jimin has been there for all of JK's birthdays. But this one night he couldn't so maybe JK felt some type of way?? Who knows. But it make sense. Either way you've seen the way Taemin looks at Jimin. He's definitely been hit by that Jimin effect and JK ain't blind 😂😂

So outside of BTS we have seen Sean Mendez, Taemin, and something was happening with Bogum during this.

My friends and I believe JK watched Jikook compilations and saw himself doing the tongue in cheek thing and decided to rectify 😂😂 but as u can see he did that for the entire Jimin and Bogum interaction and stopped as soon as Jimin was next to him.

Then we also have JB and this has to be my favourite 🤣🤣🤣🤣 JB and Jimin kept looking at eo. Well, tbf, JB was blatantly staring at Jimin and so Jimin kept looking back at him.

But this happened for too long and JK was like

I swear to God this entertains me so much!!! And it happened for quite a while!! Jikookers Classroom always shows the whole picture and doesn't manipulate so check out the whole Kdrama here. And its the way Jimin smirks like....bro what are u doing??? This whole thing is fucking gold!!

Then of course we have Wonho. This one is quite popular but my favourite part has to be when after Jimin admiring Wonho's muscles for most of the night, when they were leaving, JK started to work out his arm with the trophy

He was like "babe see? I'm strong too." 🤭🤭

Last but definitely not least we have this TXT moment.

Its so subtle. A blink and u will miss it type of thing. The guy shakes Jimin's hand once. Okay, thats fine. But when he does it a second time JK taps him like "that's enough son." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just to name some few none bts moments. But back to RM and Suga. While I understand why JK would be anti Yoonmin, I dont get the Minimoni anti thing. 🤭 A friend told me it could be because JK admires RM so much. He's so smart and bla bla bla. And JK looks up to him. And maybe JK knows he is not like RM so it could stem from that? Idk why the issue because JK is super smart and has a million things going for him. But after being around for a while I found out something interesting about the Korean culture. About how men claim their women and let everyone know that, that woman is his. Apparently when JK got into that nasty scandal with the tattoo artist c*nt, Karmy were telling the boyfriend to claim her?? Or some shit like that? But the guy refused to because they were broken up or something. Apparently it was messed up that JK would hold another man's woman like that. Idk man. I'm not Korean and I don't fully understand it but I know it's a thing. Which explains why JK behaves the way he does. You said, he was possessive coz he was young and insecure. And maybe thats true. But I think there is also the issue of no one knowing they're together. JK would love for the world to know Jimin is "his" but he can't. And so people going around touching and feeling on his man well... I can see why he would have an issue with that. Especially since Jimin gets shipped with pretty much everyone.

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts #jimin #jungkook #jikook bothered #jikook analysis

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twiixr4kidz · 3 years ago

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ok here we go.... Mind if u can make a Scott and evil exes x hurt reader head cannons.... so just sum hurt comert!! also u shall now know meh as 💀🎀!!

ooh okay!! i <3 writing hurt/comfort fics they're one of my favorites KSJDHJHSF

scott pilgrim

he's kinda bad at comforting people

look, we already know he's super awkward

if you're crying or something, he's not gonna know what to do

but he'll definitely know that something's wrong

he'll try to get you to stop crying as best as he can

he offers to play video games or watch a movie or something with you to get your mind off of whatever it is

and he'll always offer to let you talk about it when you're comfy

he just doesn't like seeing you upset but also has no idea how to help when you are, but he tries his best

matthew patel

bro immediately panics

"ARE YOU OKAY? DID SOMEONE HURT YOU? I'LL FIGHT THEM FOR YOU. ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY? WHAT EVEN HAPPENED?"

literally bombards you with questions but quickly realizes it's not helping

in a sushed town, he'll say things like "hey, i'm here, okay? i'm right here. you're gonna be okay. is there anything i can do?"

he'll listen patiently if you need to talk, and he'll ask you if you want his comfort or if you want advice

he's really understanding about whatever it is that you need, and he'll give you a big hug when you're done talking

just so you know he's always there for you

lucas lee

similarly to scott, he isn't really sure how comfort you but he isn't as confused about it, yknow?

rubs your back and tries to lighten the mood

he'll tell you stories about funny things that happened on set or shitty jokes he came up with on the fly just to see you crack a smile

eventually, it'll help you forget why you were so upset, even if it's just for a little bit

the two of you end up cracking a couple drinks (whatever you desire) and just shooting the shit with each other for hours

and it helps every single time

todd ingram

he's had his fair share of bad days with nobody to comfort him, so as soon as he sees you in that situation, he immediately wraps his arms around you

he says things to you that he's always wished to hear himself

he wants you to be okay. he doesn't want you to suffer alone.

he doesn't pressure you to tell him what's going on, he just asks you what you need to feel better

whether it's a nice cuddle sesh or getting some fresh air or being left alone, he'll do whatever he can to make you feel okay again

but if it doesn't help and you still don't feel great, he understands completely and won't shame you for it

this man literally takes care of you

roxie richter

literally freaks out

she wants to know who hurt you and whose ass she needs to absolutely annihilate

when she realizes that's not the case, she immediately insists on you getting up and not being a "lazy bump on a log" because according to her, that'll make you feel even worse

so she drags you out of bed and takes you to a park or something so the two of you can go on a walk and just hang out

even if you don't wanna move, she's gonna get you to

it also probably ends with a spontaneous date night where the two of you go out for food or something like that

kyle katayanagi

he does what he can to make you laugh

which includes, but is not limited to, telling the worst jokes you've ever heard, saying pickup lines that are somehow even worse, telling you about this one time when he was super drunk where he filled his bathtub with a mixture of skittles and milk because he wanted to water to be fun, and of course, tickling you

he's a monster

but it gets you to crack the teensiest little smile and that's what he's striving for

ken katayanagi

he wipes the tears from your eyes and gives you the whole "hey, hey, no, don't cry, no crying, nope"

he gets you water to make sure you aren't dehydrated

offers to sit with you for however long you need

plays with your fingers while you talk to him to help comfort you

insists on reading to you or showing you something he's been working on to help you relax and get your mind off of whatever's been going on

gideon graves

definitely the kind of guy to give you things to make you feel better

offers whatever you could possibly need

and he'll insist on getting you a bunch of things to make you feel at least a little excited for the future

therapy via online shopping?

"here, take it, it's fine. no, i told you it's okay. babe, i'm literally rich, you can have whatever you want."

and he'll get you whatever you want too

so long as it puts a smile on his partner's face

#scott pilgrim #matthew patel #lucas lee #todd ingram #roxie richter #kyle katayanagi #ken katayanagi #gideon graves #scott pilgrm x reader #matthew patel x reader #lucas lee x reader #todd ingram x reader #roxie richter x reader #kyle katayanagi x reader #ken katayanagi x reader #gideon graves x reader #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #💀🎀 anon

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youbloodymadgenius · 4 years ago

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Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar’s taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @adrille88

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927 @dini73

#ivar #modern ivar #modern!ivar #modern-ivar #modern ivar x reader #modern!ivar x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar imagine #ivar fic #ivar fanfic #ivar fanfiction #ivar vikings #vikings ivar #cherrypie’s500 #fairytale retelling #ivarello

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snekjin · 3 years ago

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Shameful kinks you say... Would you ever write a 1988 free use fic? Like where one of them has the right to literally have the other one whenever and wherever they want.

um absolutely i would

great, now im picturing terrible "what are you doing, step bro" porn where jonny gets his fat ass stuck in a washing machine or something and wicked pat has his way with him. now jonny keeps finding excuses to get stuck in various household furniture

I don't which one of them would make a better subject. I have a couple scenarios here. First I'm thinking they make some kind of seemingly innocent bet where the loser has to do whatever the winner wants for 24 hours. Of course it starts off like "carry my shit" or "get me a coke from that vending machine" and devolves into "suck my dick, bro. Jk, unless? ok, now let me fuck you. Um, you said you'd do anything i wanted so don't pussy out now."

But you're probably imagining something more along the lines of an established relationship where they've fallen into a sort of dom/sub thing. Jonny is the easy target for being the submissive one. And Pat's always starting shit with him and Jonny gets all annoyed about it. Pat has to remind him "uh uh, you said i could have this hole whenever i wanted so be a good boy and bend over". Jonny's in the kitchen doing dishes? "Spread those legs, baby." Jonny getting woken up by a mouth on his cock, halfway to coming already by the time he realises what's happening.

And this is kind of veering from 1988 (though it is endgame) but I have an idea for a dark!omegaverse fic where Pat is a male omega, which in the AU is incredibly rare. He finds out when he's a teenager and is forced to quit hockey because he is like, literally biologically designed to be a fucktoy for alphas and if they put him on the ice it would distract all the other players (also if he doesn't get fucked on the regular it's anguish). This is all stemming back to y'know tribal society of course where male omegas had a designated role to service all the alphas (without the risk of getting pregnant) so naturally in the modern world he's presented with the opportunity to be the Team Omega for the Chicago Blackhawks. And basically the entire team gets to use him whenever they want. The captain gets to go first of course (it's his job to 'break in' the new omega) and he remembers Pat from when they played teenagers. Had no idea that the reason he dropped out of hockey was because of this.

And yeah, Pat maybe gets a little cushion to kneel on in the corner of the locker room. Wears a fancy Blackhawks collar. Comes on all of the road trips. Has a little calendar where players can book times to fuck him or take him out to parties to show him off etc.

Some of them don't even bang him, they just wanna kiss and cuddle when they're missing their wife back home or whatever. They all spoil Pat too, buy him nice clothes and sexy lingerie. And he's not helpless either, he can let off pheromones to make other alphas uncomfortable if they're being rude to him.

But wait, what if him and Jonny start to spend time together to reminisce about the good old days and what could have been and they go on little skating dates together and oh boy it would a real shame if they accidentally ended up getting bonded-

#im never gonna actually write this fic but i saw this an excuse to dump this on you lol #enjoy my rambling #anon #dark omegaverse AU

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tellywoodtrash · 4 years ago

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Yaar. Pehli baat toh, dil se sorry for sending you this message. You seem to be distancing from this show and I'm so happy for that. Unfortunately, this thing is a fucking trainwreck I can't look away from, and real life mein no one knows I watch/follow this (nor can I ever tell them because shame) so aur kahin rant karne ko hai nahi 🙈

No one in this show learns anything? Does Vansh not remember the last time he tried to scare/trap Riddhima into staying away, Ragini ko kitni safai se kidnap kar le gayi thi? The only thing that works with her is upfront answers and kindness? I don't blame Riddhima for being inquisitive right now, because Vansh is again being superrr shady with the locket and constantly saying shit like 'R can't find out'. And why does the whole family talk about these 'raaz'es and blow them out of proportion? Same Ragini waali gadbadein. Vansh and fam lead Riddhima into believing that Vansh has done some bada crime, and jab woh maan jaaye toh uski galti. And yeah, it's a bad call to call on Kabir to help. But aur hai hi kaun who'll cross Vansh to help Riddhima?

And Riddhima, the last time you acted on aadha adhura information acquired via Kabir, you were widowed. You'd imagine that trauma would make you more cautious- once bitten twice shy?? Par an khud marne chali hai. And why the fuck has she not spoken up about Kabir's part in Anupriya's crimes and all the other shit she knows he has done (including electrocuting her?!?) She wants to ensure that it looks like she's an accomplice??

It's annoying that these two suck at communication so much even after all the trauma they've suffered.

And Kabir ka endgame hai kya life mein? Currently na usko kissi ka bhaiyya ban na hai, na paise chahiye, na Anupriya ko free karwa raha hai, nor is he in some love triangle with Vansh and Riddhima. What's the dude up to? Khatara suits pehen ke watching with heart eyes as half bro and ex gf do excessive angsty PDA?

How did such dumb people survive so many years????

(Phir se sorry)

I’m legit lmao reading this coz ............... It’s all true, and you should say it. This is a terribleass fucking show. Lol, it’s sooooooo damn bad, I’m not even mad at it anymore (coz I’m not watching it, just keeping up via written updates and insta clips.)

The biggest issue here is that there’s NO GROWTH in characters. In any way whatsooooooever. 200 episodes hone ko hain kuch din mein, and these fucking people, not one of them, has shown anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy kind of personal growth or remorse or..... just any kind of learning. It’s like they live in a endless Groundhog Day of the same sorta shit happening day after day after day and they just deal with it in the exact same way, rather than breaking the cycle. Frankly, I now want bad things to keep happening to them (except Kabir), coz they deserve it. Stupidass irredeemable characters.

Lmao Kabir ka toh kya hi kehna. Bro is the best one here, coz he’s not taking any of this nonsense SERIOUSLY and is just getting his shits and giggles from whatever the fuck is going on. He literally just wakes up everyday (HOW AND WHY IS HE STILL IN THIS HOUSE?!?!!?!?!? NO ONE BOTHERED TO THROW HIM OUT, SO HE JUST......... LIVES HERE NOW, LMAO) and is like chalo dekhte hain aaj kya bakchodi hogi to get my cheap thrills from. He spends 1 or 2 hours doing his day job: life-ruining by pointing Riddhima in the direction of some clue, and doing some threatening and bribing of randos; and then just goes back to living the aish-o-araam waali zindagi in VR Mansion. Life ho toh aisi. I love him the most and want him to be the final winner of this fucking shitshow.

#immj2 #tt answers

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clumsyclifford · 5 years ago

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good morning 💕 (morning for me anyway) so firstly waking up to a new spidey au part is amazing & then a cute jalex prompt is even better 🙈 also i'm very excited to listen to the happy recs 😊

anyway since i had a night of too many vivid dreams i'd like to request "33. Kiss in a dream" with lashton, please? -fiancee

good morning! except you sent this at almost 4am for me and now it’s 9pm so not really morning either way but i accept the sentiment. i’m very happy u liked the fics and i hope u like the recs <3 AND i hope you like THIS fic. i fell down a rabbit hole of 5sos family instagrams so we also get a jack scene because, you know, i love him. xoxo

“Had a weird dream last night,” Luke yawns, trekking into the kitchen. Jack’s sitting on the counter, looking at his phone with a mug of coffee in his left hand.

“Yeah?” Jack says. He doesn’t look up. “What about?”

Luke frowns. He probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, but whatever. It’s just a dream. “Have you ever kissed someone in a dream?”

Now Jack does look up, grinning. “Oh shit, really? First dream kiss! Congrats, Lukey, that’s a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Luke says defensively. He doesn’t want it to be a big deal. He has weird dreams all the time, and those aren’t big deals. Just because in this one he’d kissed his friend, doesn’t make it a bigger deal than the one where he’d been invisible in a broken-down elevator with Green Day.

“Who’d you kiss?” Jack prods, then takes a sip of his coffee. “Someone I know?”

Luke blushes. “No,” he says, except he’s always been a terrible liar.

“It totally is,” Jack says. Luke turns away, reaching for the loaf of bread on the counter and pulling out two slices. “It is! Who was it?”

“I don’t want to tell you,” Luke says, putting the bread in the toaster.

“If I guess it, will you tell me?”

Luke sighs. “Fine.”

“Calum.”

“No, oh my God!”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jack says, holding up his hands in surrender. “Uh, Calum’s sister?”

“No.”

“...Michael?”

“No.” Luke makes a face. “Michael? Really?”

“I’m just going down my mental list of your friends,” Jack says. He gives Luke an impassive look. “There aren’t that many of them, you know. I’m bound to get it eventually.”

“Maybe it wasn’t one of my friends,” Luke challenges.

Jack waves him off. “No, it definitely was, or you’d have told me. Okay, who haven’t I said. Calum, Michael…Ashton? Was it Ashton?”

Luke reddens. He turns back to the toaster. “No.”

“It was Ashton!” Jack crows. “Hey, no shame, mate! Ashton’s cute.”

“He is not.”

“You don’t think Ashton is cute?”

Luke splutters. “He’s — that’s not the point! Stop it,” he says, pointing a finger at Jack. “I didn’t ask to dream-kiss him, okay? I’m not in control of my dreams.”

“They’ve got to come from somewhere, though,” Jack says. He grins. Jack always grins like he’s going to make fun of Luke, whether or not he actually is. “It’s fine, bro, you can want to kiss Ashton if you —”

“I don’t want to kiss Ashton!” Luke insists.

“You wouldn’t have dreamed it if you didn’t,” Jack says.

“That’s so not true! I dream weird shit all the time that I don’t actually care about.”

“Yeah, but it’s a kiss, Luke. That’s not just some random weird shit. That’s a real thing you actually dreamed about doing with a person you know. Your friend.” Jack gives him a meaningful look. “Who you think is cute.”

“This is why I don’t tell you this kind of thing,” Luke says, scowling. “It was just a dream.”

Jack shrugs. “If you say so. I don’t care.” He takes another sip of his coffee. Luke makes a face. He can’t fathom that Jack actually enjoys coffee. It smells awful. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Tell Ashton?”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “If it was just a dream, you might as well. If someone snogged me in a dream I’d want to know.” Luke supposes he’d want to know, too. Jack has him cornered, too, because if he says no, of course I won’t tell Ashton, Jack will point a victorious finger — so it wasn’t just a dream after all! But he really doesn’t want to tell Ashton, because that’s a weird thing to tell. And even if he prefaces it with this doesn’t mean anything at all, I just thought you’d be interested to know, it’s still weird. Ashton will think it’s weird.

(Also, maybe Luke has a small crush on Ashton, maybe. And he really doesn’t want to jeopardize their friendship, which is still so new.)

“Sure,” he lies. “I’ll tell him.”

Jack shakes his head and drains the last of his coffee. “You will not.”

“Why would you ask if you’re just going to argue when I say I will?” Jack laughs. “Whatever, Luke, fine. Let me know what he says.”

“I will,” Luke says stubbornly, forgetting that this is a lie. He’s not going to tell Ashton, right? He can just make something up. Yeah, he said good for me, and everything’s aces! Yeah, right. Jack’s seen through every single one of Luke’s lies this morning. Luke should invest in lying lessons, or else he’s not going to get very far at all.

“Good,” Jack says, hopping down off the counter. “And it’s your day to take the trash out, don’t forget.”

“I know,” Luke says. Jack puts his mug in the sink.

“Have fun at band practice,” he says as a farewell, and then retreats from the kitchen, maybe to go do homework or, more likely, play Fifa. Luke scowls at his back. There’s a reason he doesn’t share embarrassing shit with his brothers (Jack, specifically) anymore.

He reaches for Jack’s mug and rinses it out so the coffee doesn’t dry at the bottom, then grabs a plate for his toast and retrieves the Vegemite. The dream is exiled to the back of his mind, and he doesn’t think about it the rest of the morning.

(Doesn’t think about how much he’d like to remember exactly how it had felt, because all things considered it’s not like he’s ever going to get closer to kissing Ashton, and already the details are slipping through his fingers, until all he can remember is the warmth in his chest from knowing that someone like Ashton could have ever wanted to kiss someone like Luke.)

“Okay, we need to take a break,” Michael declares, setting aside his guitar. Michael’s not the boss of them, but Luke is inclined to agree. He’s getting bored of playing “I Miss You” over and over, and anyway he needs water. “Five minutes.”

“Five,” Ashton repeats, firmly. “And then everyone back here.”

“Sick,” Luke says, also putting his guitar down. “I’m getting water, anybody want?”

All three of his bandmates raise their hands, and Luke sighs. “I can’t carry four cups of water.” “I’ll help,” Ashton says, leaping to his feet. Calum coughs, and Ashton shoots him a look. Luke just smiles gratefully, and together they head to the kitchen.

“I really like that song,” Ashton says as Luke reaches for four plastic cups from the cabinet.

“Me too,” Luke says. “Fun chords. And the ending is cool.”

“Yeah,” Ashton says, although he probably wouldn’t know fun chords from boring ones. But Luke appreciates the effort.

“It looks fun to do on the drums, or,” Luke makes hitting gestures with his hands, “the cajón. You know.”

Ashton mirrors his movements, laughing. “Yeah,” he says. “It is, yeah.”

“Alright, look.” Luke scowls, but Ashton just pats his shoulder, and the look disappears pretty quickly.

“It’s fine,” he says, taking one of the cups out of Luke’s hands and thrusting it under the tap. “Tap water is fine, right?”

“Unless you see someplace else to get water,” Luke says, making a show out of glancing around the room. Ashton rolls his eyes. The smile doesn’t disappear from his lips. Luke likes that about Ashton, that he’s always smiling.

“So how are you?” Ashton asks. “I mean, aside from rehearsal? How was your morning? How were you yesterday?”

“One question at a time,” Luke jokes. “Fine, all fine. I mean, I didn’t sleep much last night because of homework, and then Jack was making fun of me this morning, but you know.”

“Making fun of you for what?”

“My —” Luke breaks off. He can’t stop now, or it’ll seem very suspicious, but they’re getting dangerously close to uncharted waters. “Just a weird dream I had.”

“Ooh, I love weird dreams,” Ashton says conspiratorially, handing off one full cup to Luke and swapping it for an empty one. “What was it?”

“No, it wasn’t that weird,” Luke tries to say, but Ashton’s face starts to fall, and Luke doesn’t want to be responsible for that. “I mean, it was just — I kissed someone, in my dream. Which was really strange. I’ve never had a dream-kiss before.”

Ashton raises an eyebrow. “Get it,” he says, and Luke ducks his head, laughing through the nerves. His face is surely burning red by now. “Who’d you kiss?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Luke says emphatically. Attempting to change to subject, he adds, “Anyway, that was right after I found out I was adopted and Billie Joe Armstrong was my real dad all along.”

“Did you kiss Billie Joe Armstrong?”

“Ew, Ashton, I just said he was my dad in my dream!”

“Well I don’t know what kind of freaky shit your mind comes up with!”

“No,” Luke says vehemently. “It was a friend, oh my God.”

Ashton immediately looks more interested. “A friend?”

Fuck. “Well,” Luke says diplomatically, “more like just a person that I know in real life. Not necessarily a friend. Could be someone from school. Or, like.”

“So a friend,” Ashton says, a teasing smile on his lips. “I can see why Jack made fun of you for this. Why don’t you just tell me who it was? I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“You will laugh,” Luke says. “I don’t want to tell you.”

“Come on,” Ashton wheedles. “What’s the worst that could happen? Can I guess?”

“No,” Luke says, because that’s exactly how Jack had gotten him this morning, and he’s not going to make the same mistake twice. “Nothing bad will happen. It’s just weird, and I don’t want to say.”

Ashton rolls his eyes. They’ve filled all four cups of water now, and there’s no reason for them to linger by the sink, yet Ashton looks like he’s not planning to move. “You don’t have to tell me,” he says. “I just thought you could. Because we’re friends. You know. If you really don’t want to, then I’m not going to make you.”

Luke stares at him, guilt rolling around his stomach. That’s not fair. Ashton’s totally manipulating him, and Luke knows that, and it shouldn’t be working, and Luke wishes it weren’t working, but it is.

Fuck. It totally is.

“Fine,” Luke sighs. “I’ll tell you, but promise you won’t make it weird?”

“I won’t make it weird,” Ashton swears.

Luke worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He picks up a cup and takes a long drink from it. “Okay, well, it was you,” he finally says, looking down at the tiles of the kitchen floor so he doesn’t have to see the look on Ashton’s face.

A beat.

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” Another beat. “That’s nice. How was I?”

Luke looks up. “Don’t make fun of me,” he says.

“I’m not!” Ashton says quickly. He cracks a smile but it’s a little uncertain. “I just want to be sure your first dream-kiss was an enjoyable experience.” Luke groans. “This is weird,” he says. “You’re making it weird.”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Well, you are. I take it back. Pretend I never said anything.” Luke takes his cup of water and moves past Ashton, but Ashton grabs his arm.

“Luke, just calm down a second. Sorry if I sounded like I was making fun. I’m just, um, I guess I’m just wondering —” He clears his throat. “Like, maybe it would be nicer in real life than in a dream?”

Slowly, Luke turns, fingers tightening around his cup. “What? Like, kissing in real life?”

Ashton is blushing. Luke’s never seen Ashton blush before, but he’s definitely doing it now, cheeks turning patchy pink as he rubs a hand across the back of his neck. “Well, I don’t know. Yeah. I mean, it’s not really fair that you got to have a dream about kissing me and I’ve still never kissed you, in dreams or otherwise.”

“What?” Luke says dimly. “You don’t want to kiss me.”

“Well,” Ashton says, “I can pretend I don’t, if you want. I just thought — I’ve never kissed anyone in a dream that I didn’t want to actually kiss in real life, so I figured —”

“Yes, I want to kiss you,” Luke says boldly, over the sound of his heart battering his chest. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” Ashton says, frowning. “I wouldn’t joke about this, what kind of person do you think I am?”

“I know, I just, um, you’re you? And I’m me,” Luke says, gesturing between them like this is some big revelation. “So I’m taking a moment to process.”

“Oh,” Ashton says. “Well, take all the time you need.”

Luke stares at him. It occurs to him that Ashton is waiting to kiss him, and that thought fills his whole body with butterflies. “Okay, I’m done,” he says, even though he’s not really, and could spend hours trying to reconcile the idea of Ashton as a person with Ashton wanting to kiss Luke and probably still come up empty.

“That was fast,” Ashton says. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yeah,” Luke breathes, setting his cup of water down on the counter. Ashton smiles and shuffles closer. He presses both palms to the sides of Luke’s face, and Luke’s eyes flutter shut, soaking up the heat of Ashton’s hands against his skin. Already this is better than his dream, a hundred times better.

Then Ashton presses their lips together, gently, and all thoughts of Luke’s dream dissipate, replaced by real Ashton, actually kissing him, in real life, in Michael’s kitchen. He’s pretty sure his hands are shaking from the excitement.

Ashton pulls away and smiles, and Luke smiles back, then ducks his head, feeling far too nervous to look Ashton in the eyes.

“So?” Ashton prompts, which makes Luke look up again. “Better than the dream?”

“Oh,” Luke says, smiling like an idiot, “so much better.”

Ashton looks pleased, and Luke hopes he dreams of kissing Ashton again tonight, just so he can wake up and remember that he’s actually done it for real.

#luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lashton #lashton fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #fun and interesting bella fact: MY first dream kiss was a guy from my synagogue #but i did think he was cute so. you know. fair enough #and then another one was a guy i had a crush on in middle school and for my first year (and maybe also second?) of high school #everyone is getting far too much information about my kissing history from the tags of these fics #sorry guys #anyway fiancee i love you for the many prompts i will get to them at some point #but i am currently DETERMINEDLY procrastinating a paper that should. ideally. be finished before midnight tonight #which is in three hours #SO i finished this fic but now i had better go and do that #god i cant believe registration for spring is literally tomorrow night #STRESSSSSSSSSSSS #anonymous #ask #answered

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Lux & Dash

Lux: Hey 😊 Lux: wanna hang out today? Dash: Bummer! There's no way Dash: I promised Sapphire we'd hang Lux: Can't I come with? What are you doing? Dash: she wouldn't be down Dash: you get the picture, yeah? Lux: I don't think I know Sapphire...? Dash: she has a groovy Cleopatra vibe Lux: 🐍🐍🐍 love that Lux: you gonna be Marc or Julius? Dash: Who did she dig more? Lux: You're more of the Antony type Lux: they had their own drinking club called inimitable livers Lux: and they played pranks on people in disguise Dash: Right on! Lux: I hope your love affair doesn't end in such dire circumstances Dash: it'll be outta sight, don't sweat it Dash: she's made loads of her own promises back Lux: She's not the sister of anyone is she? Dash: Onyx but he's cool Lux: Hmm, actually, my point is moot regardless, if she's Cleopatra, it's Octavia's brother you need to worry about Lux: Cleo could 💀 her own Lux: never mind then, you should be fine 😁 Dash: you know how to lay a real trip, huh? Dash: I almost forgot Lux: forgot about Marcus Antonius?! Lux: don't wanna be doomed to repeat it, Dashiel, think on Dash: no doom in my 🔮 babe Lux: 🌈✨ good times Dash: that's more the shit to 🗨 into being Lux: I don't think you can blame the eventual fall of Rome on me being in your inbox when you'd rather I weren't 😄 Dash: No blame, I just gotta do my own thing Lux: do you think any of us can ever be unique Dash: Beats me, that's heavy 💭 Lux: I thought that's what you were getting at Lux: Bummer Lux: I'll ask around Dash: I'm not trying to get into anything with you Dash: later, maybe Lux: You aren't going to have an answer for me later Lux: Don't sweat it, Dash Dash: if you wanna go ahead & cut me some slack I'll have magic for you Dash: just not now Lux: It doesn't matter Lux: I want conversation and someone to hang with, you want neither, that's chill Dash: what you want isn't a bad scene but it's not mine Dash: I can turn you onto someone whose it is, you'll have a blast Lux: that's okay ✌ Lux: I'll make my own friends, continue to Dash: Cool Lux: godspeed 🚀 I will let you know my findings 🗳📋 Dash: you know where to find me to lay whatever you want on me Dash: 🍎🍏🌳 Lux: what do you like most about 🍎🍏🌳 there Dash: 👀 Lux: good answer Lux: the ☀ looks best through 🍃🌳🍂 Dash: & the sky looks 🍒 from that high Lux: 🍒🥧 sounds good Dash: I'm hip to that Lux: does that mean you're going to make one? Lux: I'll get the 🍨 a la mode or nothing baby Dash: you're the girl, why aren't you making it? Lux: ha, I wasn't raised one though, so that kind of nonsense does not work on me 😅 Lux: I like brown sugar and cinnamon on the top please Dash: I'll find a 🐤 who's not wise to it & pass that on Dash: but they won't be fitting an apron how you would ✨ Lux: I don't want deception pie Lux: it will taste all the bitter for it 😖😖😖 yuck yuck yuck Dash: I'll pick the 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🍈🍒🍑 for it Dash: keep it sweet & honest Lux: make me a basket Lux: that way you get to be sweet and I don't have to participate in any misogyny for baked goods Dash: What's with the goddess demands when you know I've got demands on my time? Lux: you're so busy, right? Dash: 🚀🪐💫 Dash: I can't be weaving you a basket like it's no biggie Lux: well that is not what I meant 😏 Lux: but if you can't handle it then I'm sure I'll manage just fine Dash: weave a 🐤 a basket and she's 💖 for a day, teach her to basket weave... Lux: how very like a man to claim mastery over a skill women for centuries just did because they had to Lux: you had your chance to be 👏 over your pastry making expertise but you declined Dash: how righteous of you to keep the faith on that belief but yo, can you do it? I can Dash: declining everything I can teach you is a bad trip to be on Dash: you said you weren't down to feast on bitter fruit, that's gotta include sour 🍇 baby Lux: It's a very wholesome past life you've painted for me if I somehow acquired that skill Lux: certainly a prettier picture than the truth alas Lux: I haven't declined any invitation Lux: that's you Dash: I haven't either Dash: There's a time & a place for us to reconnect Dash: after Sapphire's Dash: & Lotus' Lux: your schedule isn't going to dictate mine Lux: we'll see when that time is Lux: 🌍🌌💫 willing Dash: come & 👀 me then Dash: it'll be unreal again Lux: you want me to watch you from the nearest 🍎🍏🌳? Dash: or 🌌 til the 7th day of the 7th month if you still vibe with that story Lux: That's an interesting way to inquire about my faith Lux: you'd make an excellent youth pastor Lux: 🤭 Dash: you've heard me play 🎸 Lux: and your cool lingo Lux: yep, it is indeed your calling Lux: we'll start your bible study as soon as the 🌍 is ready Dash: sounds like a drag Dash: how are we gonna make it fun? Lux: 🍪🍪🥛 and fellow youths, duh Dash: if you're gonna teach me it needs to be visual Dash: that's my way Lux: really? Lux: well, I'm going to need all my creativity and crafting skills to recreate Noah's Ark Dash: Moses'll be easy, I'll weave a basket for real Dash: he's the one, yeah? 👶 Lux: that's him Lux: have a whole cast of 👶 to choose from Dash: & animals Lux: I'll just try to avoid being like Sarah and 👊 all the mothers in envy Lux: not a good look Dash: I can get you a baby 🐈 if it'll keep the peace Lux: 😄 it'd be a whole other story if that's what Abraham had done Dash: he coulda taken 5 & let me 🛹⚡️ to my nan's place Lux: a man who marries his sister and needs to populate the 🌍 ain't got no time to chill, Dashiel Dash: the more you tell me, the more he fits into my family 🌳 Lux: 🤨 🧐 Lux: you're holy too? Dash: last time we got together you seemed to 💭👀🗨 so Lux: false prophets hold a certain amount of appeal, of course Dash: what was false? Lux: well, it's not for me to say you weren't speaking the word of God, I suppose Lux: but it's also a big no-no to worship false idols, it's in the big 10, so Lux: very tricky, actually Dash: Do you want me to try & make amends or what's left of the other 9? Lux: How many of do you think you've broken today? Dash: tell me what they are Lux Thou shalt have no other gods before me Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy Honour thy father and thy mother Thou shalt not murder Thou shalt not commit adultery Thou shalt not steal Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour Thou shalt not covet Lux: score out of 10 please Dash: what's a graven image? Lux: that's the idol part Dash: right on, I don't have time to like carve a statue of you & worship it but the intent is there Dash: no adultery or murder either, but the rest Lux: well Lux: consider me appalled not shocked 😳 Dash: what's your score? Lux: 3, I think Dash: you covet the fruit for a pie & Lux: Yes 😘 Lux: and I am not honouring my father or mother and I've put myself before god so Lux: I think those are the only ones, though arguably referring to myself like that is taking it in vain but I wasn't the first one to say it Dash: that's the shit you should ask around about 🗳📋 /10 Lux: maybe I'll do weekly questionnaires Lux: no one else is as mad as you were to be compared to Mark Antony but A LOT of people think we're all ❄️ Dash: beauty enough for ❄ & false idols Lux: Sculpture isn't my forte but I'll do my best Lux: you'll have to stand still long enough for me to 👀 Dash: I don't think I can Dash: we're poetry in motion, I know you felt it Lux: I'm not in the business of denying what I feel Dash: you haven't grown a totally different head since I last 👀 you Lux: now that WOULD be impressive Lux: stuck with this one only Dash: stuck makes it sound like that's a bummer Dash: looking how you do could NEVER be a drag Lux: you've not lost your charm either Dash: every compliment I've given you before, I would give you today Lux: damn timing Dash: Meet me under the 🌙? Lux: I shan't turn into a 🎃 Dash: I won't turn into a 🐀 Lux: then I don't see why not Dash: Then I'll be waiting for you Lux: Patiently? Dash: you already know that's not one of my virtues Lux: 😇 takes a lot of hard work Dash: you're the 👼 Lux: I do like hearing it Dash: I'll write you another song Lux: you keep writing songs for everyone, no wonder you've got no time Dash: school's that much of a hassle, it's that or crash 💤 Lux: what don't you like about it? Dash: I don't like anything about it Dash: nothing radical ever happens Dash: & there's way more commandments than 10 Dash: I could be spending my time here on the farm, helping things run smooth Lux: Hmm Lux: Interesting Dash: I read, I know shit Dash: I can write and do maths Dash: understand people Lux: and you feel like that's all school has to offer you? Dash: I don't see why I have to do x or y number of years more in an institution Dash: there's nothing I can get there that I can't get in the 🌍 Lux: I'll add it to my survey ideas Dash: 🤯💭 Lux: 🐝🧠 or 🎨🧠 Lux: only time will tell Dash: I'm hip to it being about getting out of just being around the same 🐈 & 🐤 Dash: meeting people with different vibes who you probably won't dig Dash: but I've got my bro for that Lux: the footballer Lux: I remember Dash: my dad & his piece too, they're drags in the same way Lux: what do you bond with your dad over? Dash: I don't Lux: is it like school and you're not bothered though Lux: or is it a shame Dash: Do I 🌠 he 👀 me? Used to Dash: not a rush I need to chase now Lux: I get it Dash: He's got the ⚽🏆 son he wants & I've got a family here Lux: it's not a good enough replacement though, is it Lux: no matter how nice people are here, or wherever I end up next and after that Lux: I'm never going to hear the people I grew up with, who loved and raised me, call me by the right name Lux: or daughter, or sister Dash: You're not gonna stay? Lux: this place was made for moving out, right? Lux: it's transient Dash: they can love you, raise you, you don't have to split Lux: I've been raised but Lux: I get what you're saying Lux: when I put roots down again Lux: it needs to be for keeps Dash: this can be for keeps Dash: it is for me Lux: we had some travellers at my daddy's church for a while Lux: 'til they got moved on Lux: places like this Lux: it's never forever Dash: What's forever? Not my parents marriage or my dad's football career Dash: if we have to go we go together, all of us Dash: new buildings maybe but the same family Lux: I'm glad that you have that Dash: you can Dash: you're welcome & wanted Dash: nobody here is related to me by blood but we're still connected Lux: I know, everyone has been very welcoming Lux: on the whole Dash: you can get comfortable, this place has been here years Lux: alright Lux: anyway, didn't Cleopatra show yet? Dash: She'll be waiting for a mirror Lux: huh? Dash: she's not cool with coming to me before checking what she looks like Dash: as if I've never 👀 her Lux: doesn't it feel Lux: Abraham and Sarah vibes Dash: what do you mean? Lux: incestuous Lux: because you say they're your family Lux: but you sleep with them Dash: she won't stay Dash: a tourist Lux: and you only sleep with the ones that won't stay Dash: they sleep with me, it's part of the tour Dash: you remember Lux: Cool speech there then Dash: I don't always get it right, like Dash: I thought that was your vibe, it's not Lux: no, you were exactly right Dash: Lux, come on Lux: it's family to you Lux: you don't care about the endless stream of fucked up girls who can cross here off their nowhere left to go list Lux: what they might be searching for Lux: never mind you actually have a home, somewhere you could be Lux: I was beyond wrong about you Dash: Don't fucking frame it like that Lux: 'cos you did a brilliant job with your narrative Lux: part of the tour, give me a fucking break Lux: you know, you aren't superior because you choose to be here, it's the opposite Lux: what kind of person lords that over people who have no choice, nowhere else they can be Lux: what the fuck Dash: that's not what I'm doing, chill out Lux: just don't Lux: you have no justification, you have no reason Lux: and clearly whatever you are doing here is going unchecked so whatever Lux: I'll be gone soon, but just know, I fucking see you Dash: I told you before we started, you set the pace, everything we did we both wanted to do Dash: nothing I do needs to be checked Lux: so you're that guy Lux: it isn't only bad if it's some serial killer down an alley and the girl is screaming and crying no Dash: You're making this way heavier than it is Lux: You don't get to tell me what I'm making it Dash: I don't get why you're twisting everything Lux: I haven't twisted anything Dash: we had fun, you said you liked me Lux: this isn't a straight issue of consent Lux: it's the fact that I know you knew I was vulnerable, I told you things, why I was here Lux: and you think it's acceptable to fuck people who are in that position, and you can't deny it because you literally did it to me, because, you know, they won't be here long Lux: and to have the nerve to advertise this place, these people, yourself, as a fucking safe space Lux: family Lux: that is insanely fucked up, I don't know how no one has ever told you that Dash: you can back off this witch hunt, yeah? Dash: you're not the same as Sapphire or Amber or Lotus or whoever Dash: they don't tell me things, it's not the fucking same Lux: Well I'm definitely sorry I did Dash: that's all been shallow, this got deep, you know Lux: I don't think I know anything about you Lux: not really Dash: You're just flipping out, I flipped you out Dash: but I didn't mean to & you don't mean that Lux: I just need to not be here right now Dash: Lux Lux: It's fine Lux: I mean, it's not Lux: but I'm leaving the main house to go for a walk, so just don't let me see you, okay Dash: You're not gonna tell anyone, are you? Lux: excuse me? Dash: all that shit you said about how it's not a safe space Lux: who the hell do I have to tell? Lux: and that's the worst part Dash: There's loads of people you could, but it's not true Lux: for a second there, you almost sounded like you gave a shit Lux: places like this will always exist, I'm not under any illusion I can stamp them all out Dash: I do! Dash: maybe I fucked up but that's not the farm's fault Lux: I'm not going to the cops, I have nothing to tell Dash: my head didn't go there, there's loads of good people here, doing beautiful things Dash: if I'm not one of them, that'll be my karma Dash: you don't have to leave Lux: I'm not Lux: that's your karma Lux: someone needs to stick around so there's some sense of consequence for your actions Dash: you don't have to go full avenging 👼 on me Dash: I won't be going heavy on you Lux: It's not a joke, Dash Dash: I'm not 🤡ing Dash: nothing uncool needs to happen between us, I'll give you space or whatever Lux: You're afraid Lux: aren't you Lux: that if I tell what you're like, girls like Cleopatra won't go near you anymore Lux: Jesus Christ Dash: I don't need to be afraid of that, I told you, we're all having fun Dash: there's no big soap opera vibe Lux: Fuck off now Dash: Ask Amber, she was mad at me before you but not like that, you've got this wrong Lux: I haven't got anything wrong Lux: this is what you did, to me, that's the end of Lux: you can tell yourself what you like about the rest, that's no concern of mine Dash: Nah, we talked about it, how I've done shit before that's 💔 & you said you didn't care Dash: that I couldn't hurt you Dash: & that you could tell I wasn't a bad person Dash: Why are you just taking it all back like none of that fucking happened? Lux: Why did you prove me wrong in such spectacular fashion? Lux: there's a reason you prefer keeping things shallow, and this is it Lux: if the answer isn't a yes or it's cool, you don't want to know, you don't want to be checked Dash: The reason I keep things shallow is they're on a fly by, they don't want to stay & I don't wanna be connected to someone else that'll split on me Lux: you aren't the gatekeeper of this place Lux: and nothing's forever, by your own admission Dash: I am of myself & I do my own fucking checks, yeah? Maybe you don't have a heart left to break by your own admission but I'm protecting the one you don't believe I've got, like Lux: There's no world in which I'm feeling sorry for you right now, okay Lux: you do not vet every girl you fuck for her tragic backstory, cut the crap Dash: Gimme a break, I said talking isn't usually part of it, going both ways, wouldn't be very chill or shallow if it was Lux: Yeah, like I said, you don't care Lux: and that's your lookout Lux: but to give it that faux hippie bullshit about family and welcoming, when you mean only for yourself, fucking sucks Lux: don't bother pretending, just be honest Dash: it happened different with you, that's the honest truth Dash: search me why Lux: right Lux: I wasn't born yesterday Dash: I do care Lux: you should be a better friend Lux: to these people, the ones you care about Dash: yeah Lux: that's all I have to say Dash: I'll cool it too then Lux: I don't think you're evil Lux: but I don't think you're a good person now Dash: I can't change your mind? Lux: Of course you can Dash: by doing what? Lux: by being a good person or a bad Dash: Beats me how that's getting judged when everyone else already thinks I'm being a good person except you & my bro Lux: don't confuse people not caring either way for approval of your actions Dash: you want me to care more for people who don't, nothing confusing about that Lux: I said being good wasn't easy Dash: & responsibility isn't my bag, he takes all that on Lux: there we go then Lux: I'm not expecting anything Dash: like I said, I'm not giving you anything but space Lux: Whatever Lux: Goodbye Dash: I'm sorry we read each other wrong Dash: it hasn't happened before Lux: It's happened plenty before Lux: they leave Lux: your behaviour and attitude is bullshit and I won't be apologising to you Dash: chill, you've made your point Lux: it's not about making it, it's about you understanding Lux: but why the fuck should I care, actually Lux: you're right, way too confusing, way too hard, no point Dash: get out of here then Dash: I don't understand & you don't care Lux: I'm not leaving, remember Lux: and that's the fucking point, you'll have to get used to feeling uncomfortable with it Dash: you can split conversationally, was more the vibe Lux: no, Dash Lux: you don't control the conversation, the narrative, any of it, that's the 'vibe' Lux: if you're feeling some type of way, you should go, take some responsibility for yourself Dash: You're responsible for hassling me now Lux: Then leave Lux: you control you, I control me Lux: I'm not doing what you don't want to do for some notion of being the fucking 'chill' cool one here Dash: I don't understand this, that's why I don't want to Lux: I don't think you want to Lux: it's fun and it's easy to do fucked up things Lux: and if everyone else is doing them, or not calling you out for it, why not Dash: I didn't do a fucked up thing to you Lux: I've said you did Dash: but that's not the way it was Dash: I opened up to you to, I still am Lux: You tell me about the tour and then you tell me I'm different though Lux: How do you expect me to take you at your word when what you've described there is exactly what went down Dash: I showed you around & I've showed some of them around, that doesn't mean everything else that happened was the same Lux: you said it like you thought I'd think it was funny Dash: I don't know why I did that Lux: Be honest Lux: was it just to see how cool I was and how I could hang Lux: or was it because you forgot, and thought I was one of the boys Dash: that couldn't be further from how I see you Lux: okay Lux: that's something then Dash: I meant what I said when I told you you're like a song I can't get out of my head, how I wanted to live in all those moments cos of what they felt like Dash: it's only got worse since then Dash: I didn't wanna hurt you, I don't Lux: you didn't hurt me by what you did Lux: at least, not at the time Lux: it's what you said Lux: to have to put bad intentions to those moments, you must get how shitty that is, you at least feel that too Dash: I was trying to show you this is different Lux: my head hurts Dash: Yeah 🌪 Lux: make sure you have some water Dash: that's your magic 🔮✨💖 Lux: I don't think I have any right now Dash: You haven't lost it Lux: I just need to replenish Dash: Me too Lux: I'll wish you good luck on that then Dash: Later? Lux: Yeah Dash: 🚀🪐💫

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hashtagsmitty · 6 years ago

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Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 1

I'm inspired right now by Uncle Gilly's travel blogs. And since I'm in my hotel room at 11pm Thai time and nowhere near sleep despite being up for some ungodly number of hours, here we go!

Heading into this trip I was super anxious. I haven't gone overseas for 7 years, and I've never travelled alone before. It's not so bad since I'm hanging out with Josh the whole time, but it's still a bit weird. Plus, I don't speak a word of Thai. I'm sure that will be fine, but it's a bit iffy going in.

April and her mum drove me to the airport. We left early to make sure we'd get past any traffic. Plus, last time April and I went anywhere I fucked up the timing and we missed our flight. I guess that was on her mind? Long story short we were at the airport 3 hours early.

I got through security and check in fine. My passport photo is from when I was 21, with a baby face and bad hair. Some beefy security dude pulled me aside to scan my passport manually when the facial recognition shit didn't work. Slight monkas.

I got through fine, bought some Thai Baht and got jibbed on the exchange rate, and then went to the gate. I bought earbuds because I don't own any. It occurred to me later that I'd ordered the entertainment package on the plane which comes with them. It turned out being a good thing, because 3 hours is a long time to listen to airport sounds.

I walked around the terminal to get my bearings, then went to a café thing. It wasn't a real café, but it was close enough to make me comfortable. I got a steak, then sat down and started reading. I'm reading "Growth Mindset", a text about how the way you think about success and achievement is the biggest predictor for future successes and how you deal with failure. It's really interesting, lots of real-world examples, and I'm hyped to try to teach it to my new students.

The steak arrived. I asked for a steak knife and the poor waiter gave me the most embarrassed look. He went to check, then came back and said he wasn't allowed to hand out steak knives in the airport.

Thinking back, of course he wouldn't be, but in the moment it was a weird thing. I guess it felt too much like a real café?

2 hours left. I sat at the gate and read. I had pre-downloaded a whole bunch of Podcasts and music, too, so I was listening to music while I read and swapping to podcasts when I was bored. I kept checking the time because 2 hours is a goddamn long time to wait.

Eventually though the time ticked over and the JetStar dudes were calling for business class people. Before I could react, a whole bunch of vultures had lined up. Seriously like 100 people. I joined the line. They started calling for rows 44 to 57. I checked my ticket - row 57. I walked forward hesitantly, to see if I was allowed to cut the line and board. I pussied out and realized that I'd lost my place in line. I did a slow walk of shame to the back of the line. Then the Jetstar dude started walking down the line and calling for those rows. I cut the line and got on the plane. The dude checking tickets looked dead inside.

My seat was in the middle of the last row on the plane. Two old white dudes sat either side of me. Nobody spoke, as is appropriate. The dude to my right was a bit grumpy, and took up our entire overhead bin. I sat down after putting my bag away and started my music back up. While we were waiting for takeoff, I remembered my trip to Italy from when I was 16. I wasn't sitting next to anyone I knew for both of the 26 hour flights, but the in-flight entertainment had Pokemon Pinball, and I played the shit out of it. It sorta became a tradition when I fly, and I redownloaded the rom right before the plane took off.

It was good that I did, because the in-flight entertainment was garbage. I played chess, and the piece of shit computer played the same opening against me twice. The only difference between medium and hard was that it took 2 minutes to decide each move on hard. I played two games then quit.

The flight was boring. At the end, the pilot had to do some stupid holding pattern because the flight was early:

The green circle bit was repeated 5 times. It added like an hour to the flight. It sucked being so close and having to wait so long. Speaking of waiting so long, being at the very end of the plane meant waiting 10 minutes to get off, and then waiting longer while people only grabbed their bags once they were supposed to move. Monsters.

Disembarked, went through immigration with no problems. The dude who waved me through was being so slow with his line. I held my passport open to the photo page when I gave it to him and he closed it when he took it. Awkward.

Customs didn't exist. Just walked straight out.

I met up with Josh. He was on the opposite side of the airport to where I came out. There were stacks of dodgy WiFi networks to sort through to find the one non-dodgy one. I felt like having to fight through 12 phishing networks before I left the airport was a bit much.

Josh and I got Korean chicken at the airport. It was okay, I'm not big on chicken with sauces. Or sauces in general. Or most foods in general. But, I felt like I should just dive in and broaden my comfort zone a bit. It was pretty good chicken. I'm sure it would be better at a non-airport franchise.

We caught a taxi to my hotel. Josh is staying in an AirBNB somewhere else. On the way Josh talked a bit to the taxi driver. She didn't speak any English and he barely speaks Thai, but she got us to our destination fine. It really drove (dwoop) home how foreign this place is, and how screwed I'd be if not for Josh living here. The taxi driver was not great. She was driving in two lanes for most of the trip, and I don't think I heard her indicate. The traffic lights have a dank coloured countdown for how long until the lights change. We need that in Melbourne.

We got dropped off at a skytrain station. It was attached to a huge shopping center like Melbourne Central. It was pretty sweet - I'd like to check it out when I'm less fried.

The streets looked pretty low-tier, but Josh said that it was average for Thailand, and that the closer you are to main roads or train lines, the nicer it is.

I needed toothpaste, and Josh insisted I get a local SIM card, so we went into 7-11. Josh explained that they're actually really cheap and good quality here. While we were sorting out the SIM card, the clerk needed to see my passport and take a photo for me to be able to buy it. It was weird, but everyone acted like it was normal, so whatever. The same thing happened at the hotel. Josh said they send the info to the government, but didn't say why. The clerk called me handsome in Thai as we were leaving. We got some weird salt toothpaste that Josh swore by. He said the first time was meh but the second time is amazing.

I was warned that there would be "massage parlors" on the street my hotel is on. Josh said the girls out the front would go out of their way to make me uncomfortable, and double so if we ignored them. We just stayed in the other side of the road instead.

The hotel is okay. Bed isn't great, but there's air con and a hair dryer. And a bidet, which I'm excited to try.

It feels lonely up here on my own. Like I said, I haven't travelled solo before, so it's a new experience. Bros will get a video tour of the room when I'm awake - it's 4am AUS time and I'm so fried. Gotta avoid that jet lag though, so normal sleep times.

I tried the salt toothpaste. It was okay.

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unalivemebro · 3 years ago

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anyway

i've been so fucking anxious lately, like full blown panic attack a day anxious and like i have a xanax prescription and it helps and everything but I'm deeply uninterested in getting like actually addicted to benzos so most of the time ive just been like feeling like im dying and its epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know part of the reason im so fucking anxious is cause i have this dumbass crush on a Genuinely not even that cute irish boy i met Online (which is like deeply cringe but w/e) and i can tell he literally only sees me as a sex object and like im not here to shame the lad but bro stop talking about my ass dude. just play the video game and crack a mf joke its noon,,, its simply not horny hours. like logically im fully aware that like i should just essentially block em and move on with my life but im fucking LONELY. and look ive got friends that i adore and family and whatever but man its just kinda nice to be like fawned over, even if it makes me feel kinda gross afterwards. he's not like a bad person and i feel like ive only mentioned him like hes some awful creep and he isnt, but he definitely lies about his sex life. i cant tell if its like to make me jealous (???? which makes no sense ive never even met him in person) or if its like a im a big man that crushes ass typa thing. have to say, typing this all out like stream of consciousness style actually did help holy shit. like. in a way i felt one of those little sims like -- over my head just now with the man. i was literally like desperate for a message from him a few days ago and now im kinda disgusted???? thats a bit strong. but i do think the discord call today irritated me, instead of like charming me, which helped.

next topic :)

ive really gotta fucking deal with my parents. i havent had an extended conversation with either of them for what's probably months now, and like im genuinely MUCH happier. but im not sure if you can, in essence, ghost your parents. i mean i guess once im off their health and car insurance/phone plan thats really it. i don't even want to talk to them, thats the thing thats really surprised me about this whole like experiment to see if they reach out. when something happens to me i have to like remind myself to be like "hey guys and gals this happened" instead of like the excitement i feel waiting to tell kim or someone else i actually give a fuck about. i think i just got so tired of their narcissism, and im sure my own narcissism didnt help, but like im their only child and they cant even find it within themselves to like care about anything i do. im literally positive im more hurt like ~deep down~ by their apathy than i realize, but im also so deeply unsurprised? i just, i really honestly do hate my mother. i have a harder time hating my stepdad, but i think its just internalized misogyny T B H.

ok im done for now. this was actually helpful HUH who woulda thought

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 years ago

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Why does everyone seem to hate S4 and Mary so much? I'm not looking to bash, just understand. Mind you, I'm new to Johnlock, but I've been a fan of the show since just before S3 came out. Sherlock always seemed to like Mary and care for her if only because John did. Yes, he seemed sad that things had to change between him and John, but he was willing to accept whatever relationship John was willing to give. I thought S4 added some interesting layers to the mythos of the show as well.

Hey Lovely *hugs*

Firstly, I just want to say, you’re completely allowed to like S4, and you’re completely allowed to like Mary and read the show differently than me and others. Secondly, BECAUSE I read S4 differently than “face value” (ie. it’s fake and is actually a “blog” covering up the real events of the series, mostly the Garridebs moment), I can (probably grasp at straws and) appreciate the layers that (may be) are present in the series, but that still doesn’t make up for the fact that it’s really not that great of a series. I’ve essentially summed up in this post here the main problems with S4 that I had. (here also) (here also) (and a long but interesting discussion here).

Now, you’ve mentioned that you’re new to the series, so I GET having an attachment to the series that brought you into the show – my favourite series is S3 and it’s a hit-or-miss series amongst the fans – but you also have to take into account the Day One-ers, who have been with this show since 2010… SEVEN YEARS. To THEM, the show was taking a COMPLETELY different direction, even to those of us, like me, who joined in the S2 to 3 hiatus, the S3 to TAB hiatus, or the TAB to S4 hiatus. This show was a COMPLETELY different series. Without S5, the show is queerbaiting, and Gatiss has admitted as much to using homoeroticism to bring in an audience. This is why long-time watchers of the series are upset; because the narrative is COMPLETELY different from what was previously established, the rules of the Sherlock universe have changed just for shits and giggles, the characters are all WILDLY OOC, and essentially all previous events in the show are made moot and pointless with the introduction of the Eurus character… and think about it… the ENTIRE 7 year buildup was to – SURPRISE! – introduce a psychotic X-men sister who was behind everything and just wanted a hug all along??? That makes… no fucking sense in this universe. Maybe for Dr. Who or X-Files, but not this. It’s ridiculous. The central theme of the series was John and Sherlock’s relationship arc, and then suddenly it’s non-existent in S4. They destroyed John’s character, made a side character a primary character in Mary, and sidelined Sherlock in his own show. It was ridiculous. Plus, everything was just SO SLOPPY, that it doesn’t make any sense to a large chunk of us.

As for The Mary Problem™, the reason why people hate her character is not because of no-Johnlock, but because TPTB fridged her character to be a “misunderstood assassin with a heart of gold”, which makes NO FUCKING SENSE after the events of S3 and TAB. They’ve essentially established her as a villain for four episodes – a HUGE chunk of us WANTED her to go down in a blaze of glory and be a badass – but instead she’s suddenly forgiven for KILLING THE MAIN CHARACTER, BECOMING the main character in a back story THAT MADE NO SENSE, and she dies by suddenly defying the laws of physics and jumps in front of a bullet she couldn’t have possibly done, all while she’s still manipulating the characters with creepy-assed DVD’s. Somehow us long-term viewers are supposed to buy this all and believe she’s a good person?? No. It makes no sense. Plus, her CONSTANTLY hovering around in TLD and having the LAST WORD in TFP, it was annoying as hell to many of us, and very much an insult to both John and Sherlock individually (basically establishing that OH NO THEY CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT MARY AT ALL) and as a couple, because OH NO THEY CAN’T POSSIBLY GET TOGETHER WITHOUT MARY’S GHOST TELLING THEM TO GET TOGETHER! Bollocks. Complete and utter bollocks. TAB was already establishing that John and Sherlock were ready to talk to each other, and for some reason S4 was like NOPE Y’ALL NEED MARY’S GHOST DVD TO TELL Y’ALL TO GET ON IT. Like no, thanks, you make no sense Mary.

I dedicated a LOT of time writing about Mary on this blog and why she’s not a good person, so you can read literally everything I’ve ever written about her villainy here on this post, and then you’ll understand why I am annoyed with what they did to her. She could have been great. Instead she’s not, and her presence in T6T was SO FUCKING ANNOYING and manipulative, and it was terrible. She was completely unnecessary in TLD and TFP. Her voiceover ruined what little Johnlock we had at the end of the episode.

Plus, her manipulation and gaslighting tactics hit a little bit TOO close to home for me, and I can’t see her as anything but emotionally abusive to both John and Sherlock. The only reason people DON’T see it, is because she’s a woman; LITERALLY the only reason.

Anyway, I’m not going to shame you for liking S4! You do you! I know plenty of people who like S4. I on the other hand can appreciate it for what it is, but I just CAN’T ignore the fallacies and inconsistencies in the series nor the actions and words of the cast and crew post-S4 to accept it as a “perfect” series. Perhaps there’s a long game plan, and I’m totally open to it. But as it stands right now, the series essentially ended with “Mary is the most important character in this show” and John and Sherlock are just bros being bros, and “everything that happened before? That doesn’t matter at all”. But I keep an open mind to all arguments, positive or negative, because all the opinions about the series are valid.

Like I said up above there, it’s your “intro” series, so you’re going to feel some sentiment towards it, and that’s totally fine. *hugs*

EDIT: I just realized that you JUST came into Johnlock, not that this was your intro series. Sorry about that misunderstanding. It’s still pertinent, I think, especially since I have been reading the subtext since S3 came out, and it’s why I’m passionate about Johnlock. <3

#overlycaffeinatedwarmage #steph replies #s4 shitposting #the mary problem #my meta #sherlock s4 #sherlock's narrative arc #my thoughts #mary is not nice #and you will never convince me otherwise #sherlock s4 meta

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