#I'm loving the cover image! anything nature-related I'm always down for

[daesungindistress]

TAEYANG EP ALBUM [Down to Earth] 2023.04.25 6PM (KST)

🌳 TAEYANG.lnk.to/DtE_Presave 🌳

[planetsandstarsandstuff]

Thoughts on Chiron in synastry?

I actually just read the book 'Chiron in Love: The Astrology of Envy, Rage, Compassion and Wisdom' (2023) by Liz Greene, and I would really recommend it to anyone who wants to do a deep dive on Chiron in synastry! The book is based on a seminar she originally gave in 2005 and it goes over: 'the nature of Chiron', 'Chiron in synastry', 'Chiron in the family,' and 'Chiron in the composite chart'. I don't think I could possibly explain anything from this book better than Liz Greene herself, so the majority of this post will be made up of excerpts (some of the quotes are very long so bear with me). And unfortunately there's a word limit on tumblr so I'll have to split this into multiple posts. This post will be focusing on Chiron alone, and the next post will delve into Chiron in synastry.

In order to understand Chiron in synastry, it's important to first develop a clear understanding of Chiron itself. In her book, Liz Greene begins by giving some background to the myth of Chiron, "The story that astrologers tend to relate to Chiron is his wounding by Herakles' poisoned arrow. But the way it's usually presented today in [astrological] circles is significantly different from older versions of the story. According to the updated version, Chiron is wounded and then becomes a healer because he has experienced deep suffering and develops compassion. I'm not suggesting that this idea is 'untrue', as it's a powerful theme connected with the emergence of genuine empathy and the capacity to turn one's suffering into a creative tool to relate to and alleviate others' pain. Chiron is a potent image of the healer who has acquired wisdom through personal pain. This version of Chiron has learned how to heal others because he has been wounded, and he reflects the process by which life's damage can enhance consciousness and put us on a path connecting us with [deeper] realities. The fact that Chiron can't heal himself is a necessary part of the story. If we could fully heal our own wounds, we might [lose] our compassion for others who are suffering. It's only the ongoing recognition of our frailty and damage that allows the continuance of empathy. There is profound truth in this interpretation. The only problem is that the idea of healing gifts emerging as a product of wounding is not what the myth of Chiron as it has come down to us from antiquity actually tells us. There are [many] sources for myths, and they inevitably mutate over time according to changing cultural contexts...I'm not suggesting that only the earliest rendition of a mythic story is the 'right' one. Myths are living entities and, because they are symbolic, many meanings may be simultaneously 'right', and different readings of a story may be especially applicable at different epochs of history. But when we're seeking astrological insights, it's always worth looking at versions of the story different to the ones we're most attached to, because they can offer us a new perspective on the pattern." (Greene, pp. 28-31)

She goes on to describe the original myth of Chiron, "Whatever version of the story we consider, the most striking difference between the one given in ancient sources and the one told in contemporary astrological circles is that in earlier sources, Chiron doesn't become a healer because he's wounded. He's already a healer, and his wounding not only puts an end to his career but also results in the relinquishing of his immortality. There seems to be agreement about the fact that the wounding occurs accidentally through the agency of Herakles; the [superhero] of Greek myth who is given 12 Labours to perform as a penance for the inadvertent murder of his wife and children, and manages [to complete all of them]. Herakles had just finished the second of his 12 Labours; the fight with the Lernaen Hydra, a poisonous snakelike monster with nine self-regenerating heads. All the hero's spent arrows were covered in the Hydra's deadly blood. After he put the arrows back in their quiver, he set off to visit his friend Pholos, the wisest and most benign of the wild centaurs. Pholos had a sealed jar of wine hidden in his cave which he had vowed to never touch because he knew that wine could drive centaurs mad. Pholos [was] determined to be civilised and loyal to his vow. Despite Herakles' insistence, he refused to open the jar of wine. But Herakles, being somewhat pushy, finally bullied Pholos into opening the wine. The other centaurs [caught a whiff of it]. They went mad from the mere scent of it, seized the jar, and started drinking. They began to tear up trees and smash boulders and hurl rocks, shooting arrows at each other and also at Herakles. Chiron, their King, rushed out of his own cave to stop the madness, because these were his people and he was responsible for them. Herakles meanwhile was pulling arrows out of his quiver and shooting them in every direction, killing many of the centaurs. In the midst of [this chaos], an arrow passed through the arm of one of the centaurs and accidentally struck Chiron. The arrow lodged in Chiron's hip, knee, foot/hoof (depending on which myth you read), all three of which belong to the horse part of him. Because the arrow was coated in the Hydra's [poisonous] blood, the wound it inflicted couldn't be healed. Chiron rushed back into his cave howling in agony. No matter what remedy he tried, his skills couldn't heal the injury. Because he was immortal, he couldn't die the way the other centaurs did. His situation was impossible and tragic. He couldn't function because of his agony, so he lay in his cave screaming in pain. Then a divine intervention occurred. The Titan Prometheus, who had offended Zeus by stealing the god's fire to give to humans, had been punished by being chained to a rock in the Caucasus mountains, where Zeus's eagle visited every day to devour Prometheus' liver. But this torture didn't quite kill the Titan because every night the liver miraculously regenerated and heralded another day of agony. Zeus, displaying his most spiteful face, decreed that this misery had to go on until some divine being was willing to surrender the gift of immortality to Prometheus. There had been no volunteers. Herakles, who felt guilty because Chiron was his friend, said to his father Zeus, 'I know someone who might be willing to do it.' Thus Chiron relinquished his immortality to take the place of Prometheus in the underworld, freeing the Titan from suffering and at the same time freeing himself from his own pain. Before his wounding, Chiron was already a healer and teacher, good and wise, gifted and kind. But through no fault of his own, he is caught in the [crossfire]. He blunders into the middle of the conflict to stop it, but [is not successful]. He can do nothing to heal himself despite all his wisdom and all his arts, because the Hydra's poison is an eternal poison." (Greene, pp. 31-34)

In this myth Chiron is faced with an impossible situation, one that he isn't personally responsible for, "Chiron can't keep his immortality without eternal misery and wretchedness and the loss of his purpose in the world. He can't remain a god. He isn't to blame, and his blamelessness seems to be one of the major themes of the astrological Chiron." (Greene, p. 35) In our natal chart, Chiron points to an area of life where we feel unfairly and irrevocably wounded, and perpetually unable to soothe the pain of this wound. It's where we feel we are "a victim of life" as Liz Greene puts it, being arbitrarily subjected to pain and suffering by something much larger than ourselves, something completely outside of our control and beyond our capabilities as individuals.

She continues, saying, "It's only when Chiron is ready to relinquish his immortality that he is granted release from his suffering. This is a disturbing denoument, and it's understandable that is has been reinterpreted so that Chiron's wounding results in compassion and healing gifts. But I think it's important to explore the myth in its original form as well as acknowledging the value of the latter version, rather than trying to convince ourselves that there will always be a happy ending to this story...The myth tells us that Chiron's wound can never be cured. But perhaps we can try to transform our way of responding to it and turn it into something more [creative and life-affirming]. That effort might itself constitute healing." (Greene, pp. 35-41) She then discusses what it might mean to 'relinquish immortality', "Audience: I think the relinquishment of immortality means a kind of humility in life, and an acceptance of your own death. Liz: Yes, I agree. The sacrifice suggests an acceptance of life's imperfections, the limits of our power as individuals, and our inevitable mortality..." (Greene, p. 47) There may be no 'cure' to Chiron's wound, but through adjusting our perception and reaction to this wound, and through profound acceptance, we can slowly begin to heal.

I'll end this post with an analogy from the book that relates to viewing life circumstances through different lenses, or, rather, through the lens of different planets, I think it's helpful in demonstrating how Chiron actually feels in a chart. Greene says, "Think about your last trip to the dentist. If you view the experience through Saturn's lens, it's an uncomfortable but necessary part of keeping your body healthy. It's unpleasant but you put up with it stoically and leave the dental surgery quite pleased because you've discharged your duty to your oral hygiene for another year. And if you have to lose a tooth or be fitted with a denture, well, that's just the hard reality of life. Viewed through Venus' lens, the important issue is having a beautiful smile, and it's worth putting up with just about anything and paying any amount of money to achieve it. And it's even more rewarding if you fancy the dentist. But viewed through Chiron's lens, it's a terrifying experience because of the expectation of suffering. You'll put off the visit for as long as possible, and the delay may worsen the condition of your teeth. The hygienist becomes a sociopathic sadist and the dentist transforms into the slasher from A Nightmare on Elm Street. If you must have a tooth extracted, it confirms your conviction that life is brutally unfair, because surely they could have saved the tooth had they cared about you enough or if you could have afforded a top-quality private dental clinic. You leave the dental surgery feeling as though you're suffering from PTSD because it was so traumatic. We can bring many different archetypal perceptions to our experience of injury. When we bring Chiron's perception to it, the experience carries all of the connotations of Chiron's myth." (Greene, p. 68)

In the next post, we'll place all of this into the context of synastry.

Greene, L. (2023) Chiron In Love: The Astrology of Envy, Rage, Compassion and Wisdom. Swanage: The Wessex Astrologer Ltd.

[tayne-dot-exe]

Im not on tikok and all that so I dont thiiiink im as bad as those kids who are doing all the -core aesthetic hyperboost niches and trends, but I LOVE to distill all of the things that visually appeal to me so I can maximize them.

I love patterns with a lot of warm natural tones when im at the thrift store so im trying to create some stripe patterns that use the full range of what I consider natural tones, that in going to make a shirt with but I want it to also work as wallpaper. For representational prints I am less interested in stylization but I have many Critters I like and I love like "guide" type posters so I'm collecting pics of animals and plants based on some adaptation and locomotion lists I've been making for years and Im going to have this printed as fabric for the front half of the natural tone pattern shirt, and reuse the images to print for the wall maybe too.

Maybe the biggest category of my aesthetic (since animals are more of an interest I want to express than an aesthetic) is scifi and retro tech, and I think I could get all the elements I see and hit reblog into an animation of a crt monitor going from windows 2000, to flowerbox screensaver, to green wireframe, to hacker text, to motherboards and computer gore. Maybe I can get more random 3d object internet graphics in there. I have an all neon green on black outfit for anything edm and a windows crt cosplay suit for this vibe but I dont think I really need to convey this in clothing its more of an Image collecting aesthetic.

Kind of related to nature but Not theres 3 different "aquatic" aesthetics I like; fishing outdoorsman, tacky beach house decor, and fantasy mermaid. But I would want to convey these also without being redundant to creatures represented in the first thing, so no fish mounts or shells. So for the kinda kabit man I would want a jackalope and a singing bass, maybe a lure collection? And beach house does have some highly specific colors associated with it, and for decor theres still a lot of boating equipment you could do instead of shells. Mermaid kinda has colors associated with it but thats tricky.. but I'm gonna try to do a cute crop top in teal with delicate beading and patterns that evoke waves and scales....

I have pinterest boards for all these things I can really narrow down and probably get exactly right for decor and clothes but besides the nature stuff the other thing I always have been figuring out how to visually convey is my sense of humor like maybe I could still be a funny t shirt guy but when I see a funny shirt I'm like hmm actually a shirt could have anything so what would I have... But scrolling through my more "curated" blog and knowing I already "covered" the old web and computer stuff I decided the other major types of things I feel go there are messed up food (always been my go to), convoluted engineering, out of context diagrams, and branded products that make no sense.

Anyway I am so in here and I said im better than the everything -core crowd but actually I wanna hear if anyone has this stuff pieced out for themselves like this, I love a curated taste

[yrbutchgf]

hey, i'm feeling a bit insecure in my identity rn and i was wondering if you have any... tips, or anything like that. i'm a lesbian who feels more comfortable in a masc role, and i think i would identify as butch... but i feel like i'm too emotional. i cry SO often. my mental health has been less than stellar for the last 10 years or so lol, so that plays a part, but i'm also just a crier. things that make me cry: criticism, heated discussions, presentations, movie/game/book endings, all music with violins, some music without violins, christmas commercials, those miniature food clay charms... literally everything. and it's always in public too, which is embarrassing enough as it is. and i know that doesn't have to mean anything for my gender identity, but the whole "boys/men don't cry" thing kind of did a number on me lol. i always feel like a little girl when others watch me cry, even though i want to be the protector. sorry for rambling, but i feel like you always have good takes on butchness and stuff like that, so i was wondering if you have any tips on feeling more secure in my butch/masc side :)

ok before i say anything else, thank you, i’m honestly really flattered you think that highly of my takes lol <3 i do try my best, i’m glad i’m able to help people to whatever extent i do with my posts. also, bit of a length warning -- i always set out with the intention of writing succinct responses to asks, but it always gets away from me, and this time "getting away from me" meant "turning into a manifesto." well, oops. c'est la butch/femme.

now to start this answer off: i definitely relate. i’m also pretty emotional. when i get stressed i get really shaky, especially in my hands, and then after that my body turns on the waterworks. i also have a fairly exuberant personality in general, and i'm very expressive with my hands & body language. the only times i’ve ever really fit the stoic archetype have been on accident, usually when i’ve felt uncomfortable in a social situation and it’s come off as strong silence. at the same time, i also don’t like when people see me cry or be emotional in general, especially in public. it makes me feel vulnerable in a way that i don’t like to give most people, and the fact that i can’t fully control when or if i do is uncomfortable. and i think disliking that feeling is totally normal, or at the very least it’s a common boundary to have. regardless of sexuality, gender, or presentation, there’s a social urge to cover up when we’re feeling our feelings, but even beyond that there is, i think, a reflexive, self-preservation level urge to cover up what can be easily damaged. so to an extent, i think it’s natural to shy away from vulnerability.

at the same time, the urge to push down one’s tears is not necessarily a HEALTHY urge, only a COMMON one, because you’re right: emotionality has no bearing on your gender or what roles you can take up. some of my best butch and masc friends are also extremely emotional people, and they’re very open about it, and in a lot of ways that openness almost feels to me more masculine or more butch, because they’re embracing their feelings, and that’s obviously a really hard thing to learn to do, so it’s powerful, admirable, and also to be honest, it’s attractive! the ability of someone to be brave enough to be vulnerable can in many situations make the people around them feel more at ease, and i think it can become a very steady, very stabilizing sort of masculinity. in other words, someone who is very comfortable in their tears is also very good and healing to be around. so i think in a lot of ways, when you learn to own your emotions rather than push them away, that can very easily augment your butchness rather than take away from it.

now obviously everyone views butch/femme differently, whether as genders/sexuality labels/dynamics/what have you, but for me no matter what at the center of these terms there is always this nexus, this core focus, of care. in the dynamic, butch/femme is about butches & femmes caring for one another in complementary ways both in- and out-side of romantic relationships. so when we talk about butchness standalone, you and many other people reach for words like “protector,” and i don’t think there’s anything necessarily wrong with that, i think protection can and often is a key role, but my point here is, where is that urge to protect coming from? it’s from love, from caring about the people you love. and i think it’s important to remember that and to frame it that way, because when you do, it becomes pretty simple: your emotionalism is more than anything a sign of that urge to care/protect/provide in you, or a driving force to those urges, however you want to frame it. far from taking away from your butchness, your emotions are at the very foundation of what it can be. i talked about this in the butch/femme server a bit, and thren @lesbiandaemon said it perfectly:

i genuinely think i (and many others!) would feel so much safety and security being w someone who allows themself to be vulnerable and earnest abt their emotions and it definitely augments butchness, from my perspective as a femme. i envy and care deeply for the butch whose emotions and vulnerability are on display, there's a strength in that imo, even if you've been made to feel self conscious and dysphoric and "less than" bc of that. i think of phrases like "the strength to remain tender", "the violence it took to be this gentle" in the lens of trauma but if that applies and you're ok w it, i think it could also apply here too [...]

whether ppl know it or not, sometimes the way one carries themselves can be projected onto others; there's already an example in how anon mentions the "big boys/men don't cry" thing, vulnerability being shut out and dismissed/disparaged isn't going to make anyone more eager/open abt their emotions. and like, going back to the butch/femme dynamic, it does feel so much more stable and steady if someone has the courage to acknowledge and let themselves feel their emotions, it's very welcoming and validating, knowing that someone can have a strong image and show their tenderness, knowing that you're safe and free from mockery/scorn to do the same when someone protective of you knows how it feels and will care for you because they feel touched to their core and have let you know in more than one way.

and i want to add an important caveat here: obviously not everyone who cares very deeply is going to be outwardly emotional or show it in the same ways. that’s true for all kinds of reasons. i think a lot of the stoicism we see in traditional depictions of butches can come from how people relate emotions to masculinity (that is to say, how people view masculinity as inherently based around a distance from one’s “softer” side), but also, honestly, i think this may also have roots in the historical coping mechanisms that a lot of butches took on in the face of a world that was unkind to them.

in stone butch blues, for example, there’s a lot of talk about this idea of “hard” versus “soft,” or “going stone,” especially when jess is first getting into the bar scene and she’s still fresh-faced to violence. and going stone in this context isn’t just about sexuality, it's also about how so many butches learned to stop letting people in even at a basic emotional level. for them, hardening up was an inevitability of circumstance, not an inherent facet of their personality or a building block of butch identity. i’m sure plenty of old-school butches would be glad to know it’s no longer inevitable or necessary for a butch to close themselves off completely in order to survive.

of course there are also plenty of butches who are just naturally reserved with their emotions, and that’s also fine -- that doesn’t mean they don’t feel things, or that they don’t care. they care -- all of us do! some of us showing it more or less than others doesn’t reflect badly on any of us, whether we’re of a more stoic or a more open variety. but some of us really can’t help showing it, and that’s okay. that’s just how the love spills out. the right person won’t see that as weakness or a crack in the fine china of your masculinity or whatever, they’ll see it as a lovely and endearing part of your whole and warming butchness. so embrace your emotions. do your best to honor the role they play in butch/femmeness. try to love your emotions, or at the very least not to be afraid of them. and remember: you are strong. your tenderness will not destroy you. in fact, it’s what built you to begin with.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXLVII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Plot?? After weeks of drama teen only? That’s right, now we have the normal kind of drama too -Danny

Words: 3,688

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Prim’ -by Little Image

Chapter Nine: Emotions.

Potions had always been her least favourite subject, but that was mostly because of Snape. 

She was curious about how different it'd be with a new teacher.

"Guys," Ernie shook their hands, "didn't get a chance to speak in Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning. Good lesson, I thought, but Shield Charms are old hat, of course, for us old D.A. lags... And how are you, Ron — Hermione?"

Mel looked down at the potion in front of her. A stream of familiar scents hit her, she could barely make out what they were.

"Now then, now then, now then," Slughorn said happily. "Scales out, everyone, and potion kits, and don't forget your copies of Advanced Potion-Making..."

"Sir?" said Harry.

"Harry, m'boy?"

"I haven't got a book or scales or anything — nor's Ron — we didn't realize we'd be able to do the N.E.W.T., you see —"

"Ah, yes, Professor McGonagall did mention... not to worry, my dear boy, not to worry at all. You can use ingredients from the store cupboard today, and I'm sure we can lend you some scales, and we've got a small stock of old books here, they'll do until you can write to Flourish and Blotts..."

He walked up to a closet and pulled out two battered books from it, once he handed them to Ron and Harry, he continued.

"Now then, I've prepared a few potions for you to have a look at, just out of interest, you know. These are the kind of thing you ought to be able to make after completing your N.E.W.T.s. You ought to have heard of 'em, even if you haven't made 'em yet. Anyone tell me what this one is?"

Naturally, Hermione's hand rose right away.

"It's Veritaserum, a colorless, odorless potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth."

"Very good, very good! Now, this one here is pretty well known... Featured in a few Ministry leaflets lately too... Who can — ?"

Mel and Hermione's hands rose once more, no one was surprised about this, and this time Hermione lowered hers and allowed Mel to answer.

"Polyjuice Potion," She replied.

"Excellent, excellent! Now, this one here... yes, my dear?" Slughorn blinked, shocked at the speed Hermione had lifted her hand again.

"It's Amortentia!"

Mel's foot slipped from the stool, she was blushing.

"It is indeed," Slughorn raised his eyebrows. "It seems almost foolish to ask, but I assume you know what it does?"

"It's the most powerful love potion in the world!"

"Quite right! You recognized it, I suppose, by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen?"

"And the steam rising in characteristic spirals, and it's supposed to smell differently to each of us, according to what attracts us, and I can smell freshly mown grass and new parchment and —"

Hermione stopped talking but Mel didn't notice, she was trying to cover her nose and look away so she could avoid smelling the liquid.

"May I ask your name, my dear?" said Slughorn.

"Hermione Granger, sir."

"Granger? Granger? Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers?"

"No, I don't think so, sir. I'm Muggle-born, you see."

"Oho!" Slughorn exclaimed, he turned to Harry. "'One of our best friends is Muggle-born, and she's the best in our year!' I'm assuming this is the very friend of whom you spoke, Harry?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, well, take twenty well-earned points for Gryffindor, Miss Granger," said Slughorn. "And five for Miss Dumbledore! She answered correctly as well, after all..."

"Did you really tell him I'm the best in the year? Oh, Harry!" Hermione melted.

"Well, what's so impressive about that? You are the best in the year — I'd've told him so if he'd asked me!" Ron said in annoyance.

Hermione hushed him with a smile, Ron looked away pouting.

"Ronnie," Mel whispered, her hand still covering her nose. "You reek of jealousy..."

"How can you smell if you've got your nose all hidden?" He snapped. "What's the matter? Afraid you might smell Harry's stinking socks?"

Mel stepped on his foot, Ron grunted lowly.

"Amortentia doesn't really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes — When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love..."

"He must've heard you talking about Krum," Mel teased, Ron elbowed her.

"And now, it is time for us to start work."

"Sir, you haven't told us what's in this one," said Ernie, pointing at a small black cauldron.

"Oho! Yes. That. Well, that one, ladies and gentlemen, is a most curious little potion called Felix Felicis," Hermione gasped. "I take it that you know what Felix Felicis does, Miss Granger?"

"It's liquid luck! It makes you lucky!"

"Who would've guessed?" Ron whispered, Mel snorted.

"Quite right, take another ten points for Gryffindor. Yes, it's a funny little potion, Felix Felicis. Desperately tricky to make, and disastrous to get wrong. However, if brewed correctly, as this has been, you will find that all your endeavours tend to succeed... at least until the effects wear off."

"Why don't people drink it all the time, sir?" said Terry Boot.

"Because if taken in excess, it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence. Too much of a good thing, you know... highly toxic in large quantities. But taken sparingly, and very occasionally..."

"Are you sure your mother didn't feed you that when you were a baby, Mellow?" Ron smirked.

Mel stopped covering her nose to punch him on the arm, then the amortentia finally reached her.

The smells were exactly as expected, unfortunately for her: Freshly washed sheets like the ones at home, butterbeer... Harry's unmistakable scent (she melted at the thought of her hands running through his hair, the times she'd kissed him...), a minty smell, and the very distinct aroma of summer early mornings.

"Shit," She muttered.

"Have you ever taken it, sir?" asked Michael Corner, talking about the liquid luck.

"Twice in my life. Once when I was twenty-four, once when I was fifty-seven. Two tablespoonfuls taken with breakfast. Two perfect days. And that is what I shall be offering as a prize in this lesson. One tiny bottle of Felix Felicis! Enough for twelve hours' luck. From dawn till dusk, you will be lucky in everything you attempt."

Mel felt the air in the room shift into hungry need, she looked around and didn't know whether Malfoy was good enough to win it, but she would do her best to keep him away from the potion.

"...So, how are you to win my fabulous prize? Well, by turning to page ten of Advanced Potion-Making. We have a little over an hour left to us, which should be time for you to make a decent attempt at the Draught of Living Death. I know it is more complex than anything you have attempted before, and I do not expect a perfect potion from anybody. The person who does best, however, will win little Felix here. Off you go!"

She was so entranced that she didn't notice the way Harry was blatantly changing the method, only saw it when she heard Hermione's interrogatory.

"How are you doing that?"

"Add a clockwise stir —"

"No, no, the book says counterclockwise!"

Harry shrugged and noticed Mel was looking as well, he raised his eyebrows silently asking if she was going to follow his advice. Mel considered it, she could follow the book, which was clearly not working for Hermione, or she could follow her friend, who appeared to be at ease for the first time since he'd started studying potions.

"Spill," She said quietly, Harry smiled.

"Seven stirs counterclockwise, one clockwise, pause," He whispered, doing the movements as he spoke.

She did everything Harry did, he was elated to be the one giving her tips this time.

"And time's... up! Stop stirring, please!"

Harry and Mel stood still waiting for their turn, when Slughorn reached their cauldron's his eyes widened almost comically.

"I can't believe it!" He exclaimed. "It's a tie! Excellent, excellent, children! Good lord, it's clear you've inherited your parents' talent. Well, the rules I set were very clear — Here you are, then, here you are — one bottle each of Felix Felicis as promised, and use it well!"

They took the bottles in silence, fearing that even the shortest reply could give them away. Not that they'd cheated or anything, but since they'd spent years being almost terrible at potions (Harry, at least), this almost felt like lying.

"How did you do that?" Ron demanded.

"Got lucky, I suppose," Harry glanced back at Malfoy, who was walking behind them.

Once at the Gryffindor table Harry and Mel decided to be honest.

"I s'pose you think we cheated?" Harry asked knowingly, staring at Hermione.

"Well, it wasn't exactly your own work, was it?"

"Mine was already halfway done when I followed Harry's directions!" Mel said defensively.

"They only followed different instructions," Ron agreed. "Could've been a catastrophe, couldn't it? But they took a risk and it paid off. Slughorn could've handed me that book, but no, I get the one no one's ever written on. Puked on, by the look of page fifty-two, but —" Ron gestured vaguely, Mel patted his shoulder.

"Hang on," Ginny said, picking up a bit of their discussion. "Did I hear right? You've been taking orders from something someone wrote in a book?"

"It's nothing," Harry said. "It's not like, you know, Riddle's diary. It's just an old textbook someone's scribbled on."

"But you're doing what it says?"

"It didn't say anything weird," Mel replied. "Unless you count as weird adding an extra stir when you're mixing stuff..."

"We just tried a few of the tips written in the margins, honestly, Ginny, there's nothing funny —"

"You don't mind if I work with your book as well instead of mine, do you, Glasses?"  Mel asked sweetly.

"Only," He gave her a sly smile, "if you lend me your Transfiguration notes for the rest of the term."

"Deal," She grinned, shaking hands with the boy.

"Ginny's got a point," Hermione shook her head. "We ought to check that there's nothing odd about it. I mean, all these funny instructions, who knows?"

"Good evening!" Erick walked up to them, Mel perceived that minty smell from the amortentia and her stomach instantly dropped. "Mind if I join you? My whole table stinks of dung — must be because it's full of it..."

Harry made an attempt to move but Mel held onto his wrist and kept him in place. Ron made room for Erick while Harry stared at her, but she just smiled and continued dining without explaining her actions.

"What about — you know..." Hermione leaned closer. "All the students that had joined the D.A.?"

"They're alright," Erick seemed a bit down. "They have to be careful, though, just like I was. They can't be nice to me."

"They didn't pick on you, did they?" Mel asked.

"Not much," He shrugged carelessly. "They nearly set my charms book on fire during the break, if it hadn't been because of Hagrid..."

"Pricks," Ron scoffed.

"I don't mind it," He responded promptly. "I kind of deserve it... I've been a prat for years, even if it was all fake."

"Don't talk like that," Mel frowned. "You're wonderful."

"Thanks," The boy smiled at her.

"Hey!" Hermione summoned Harry's book while he was distracted and caught it mid-air.

"Dear Merlin," Erick grimaced. "What did you do to that book, Harry?"

"It was already looking like that when I got it!" He argued.

"Specialis Revelio!"

Nothing happened.

"Finished?" Harry scowled. "Or d'you want to wait and see if it does a few backflips?"

"It seems all right... I mean, it really does seem to be... just a textbook."

"Good. Then I'll have it back," He snatched the book with such force he threw it off the table.

Mel tried to reach for it at the same time as him, both noticed the thin words scribbled at the very end of the back cover.

This Book is the Property of the Half-Blood Prince.

Harry looked at her, he mouthed the word 'Prince' and she knew what he was implying. She straightened up and turned to Erick.

"You didn't, by any chance, left your potions book in the classroom last year?"

"I left all my books back in my parent's house, you know that," The Slytherin, a little confused by her question.

"Of course," She looked down to her plate, dropping the subject.

"Do you think there's something wrong about the book?"

"I think 'Mione doesn't like to lose," She replied.

"I think so too," Harry grinned, then he looked down at his bag. "I want to know... exactly how friendly we are?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you trust me enough to..." The boy absently ran his fingers over the marks on his hand. "I want to talk about what I smelled in the amortentia."

Harry had pushed all the words out before he could regret it, his eyes remained on Mel, expectant.

"Ah," Mel answered quietly, "do you think it's a good idea?"

"I don't..." He cleared his throat. "Do you?"

Mel looked around the common room, they were at the same table where Neville had called them a couple two years ago, she let out a bitter chuckle, thinking how optimistic she'd been about the future back then.

"I could tell you what I smelled," She sighed. "But what difference would it make, Glasses?"

"All the difference," He insisted.

"Harry —"

"Would it be okay if I perceived someone else?"

Mel was taken by surprise, she wasn't expecting him to ask that.

"Did you?" She blurted out. "You didn't get my scent?"

"You really want me to answer that?" He raised a brow.

"Not that I want that! We just... we're not exactly... oh well, you know what I mean," She grumbled. "Who did you smell, then?"

Harry looked at her for a moment, he'd lost all his courage.

"Doesn't matter... not like you would care, would you? I mean, we're not supposed to... to feel things."

"Fine," She said, eyebrows knitting together. "But just so you know... I got someone else too."

"Fine," He replied, guessing who Mel's crush could be. "I... I don't mind it."

"Fine," She said, her voice weak.

The next day Mel received a note from her great-uncle telling her to meet him after dinner. Feeling slightly confused about it since he'd already asked her to go with Harry, she sensed that maybe this was a secret. Mel made up an excuse about Erick asking her to meet him in private and left her friends in the common room.

Dumbledore waited until she was seated in front of him and then started talking.

"You may be wondering what happened to my hand, but that's not the important part... I must be blunt, Mel. I may not have much time left."

Mel stopped moving, perhaps even stopped breathing, her eyes scanned the old man's face looking for something that would confirm this as a lie.

"How long till it happens?" Her voice sounded distant.

"A year, maybe less," Dumbledore replied vaguely. "But we can't take things for granted. How have you been dealing with your bursts of magic?"

"Wait," Mel blinked, falling back on the chair. "You can't just — You have to — Can't you do anything to avoid it?"

"My dear, even skilled wizards have their limits," He replied. "My time has come."

"But.. but..." Mel stammered, her hands started to shake. "We need you."

"You're wrong," He replied. "What you need is the knowledge I have, which is exactly what I'm planning to give you and Harry this year. My person, however, is as replaceable as anyone else's. Especially now that you'll be of age."

"I'm not—" Mel stood up, her hands went up to her hair and tangled on it, she pulled at the strands in distress. "I–I have so much to learn..."

"You have to remain calm, it is imperative you continue your life as normal —"

"We already had to endure Sirius' death!" The girl exclaimed, she was spiralling into panic. "You're asking me to do it again with you? Have you forgotten what my boggart was? I'm not ready to take your place!"

"Death is common and natural," The man replied. "I lived long enough to realize this, and I have been forewarned about my passing — I don't ask you to be present when it happens, what I'm asking from you is to accept it and start planning for the future. You can't fear death when you're headed to war."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked in anger. "Why are you letting yourself die? I can't be you —!"

She stopped at that, perhaps if she told Dumbledore her suspicions he would rethink this.

"But I could be the chosen one," Mel started carefully. "Harry doesn't have to go through it alone..."

She explained her idea to the Headmaster, waiting for it to sound less like a child's imagining and more like a real possibility.

"Please tell me I'm not crazy," Mel finished, her voice begging.

"You're not crazy," Dumbledore said after a long pause. "The thing is, that while Harry holds the power Voldemort lacks, I think that, perhaps, you've got too much."

"What?" Mel frowned. "What's that about?"

"Do you know what an Obscurus is?"

She stared at him blankly.

"What does that have to do with this?"

"Sit down."

"I'm not —"

"If you continue this way, Harry will feel your distress and he'll think you need him. It's best to have this conversation in private."

"He won't come unless I ask him to," She said confidently. "We talked, we want to keep the lifeline."

"Then you must listen to what I have to say."

Mel gathered all willpower she had left and dragged her feet back to the chair where she'd been seated.

"An Obscurus," He started, "is the corrupt energy of a young witch or wizard. It's a parasite that creates itself when the kid has gone through grave trauma. It's capable of killing more than just the child that holds it, it has no mind, no heart... nothing but the most hurtful emotions a human can feel, therefore, it seeks only how to destroy."

"Why are you..." Mel started, but she finished with a completely different sentence. "'A force that is at once more wonderful and more terrible than death'... You think I'm more likely than Harry to lose control?"

Dumbledore didn't respond, she lowered her voice to a growl.

"I've never hurt anyone that didn't deserve it —"

"How can you tell if someone deserves to be hurt? Is it your own judgement?" Dumbledore asked severely. "Do you think that's enough? This all started because you wanted to protect, but tell me, how is attacking younger students a way to keep your loved ones safe?"

"I wasn't attacking them —"

"You hexed them and used the excuse of acting on behalf of those who couldn't defend themselves. How is a thirteen-year-old able to protect themselves from you, Mel?"

Mel clenched her jaw and looked away. Dumbledore had a very good point, but she still didn't understand what that had to do with anything.

"I know I've made mistakes," She said through gritted teeth. "I apologized for them, I've learned my lesson."

Dumbledore stared at her silently for a few seconds, then he continued.

"Ariana Dumbledore was as strong and intelligent as you are, and just as caring as well — But after the attack, she created an obscurial. She had to stay home because of it, she couldn't study and refused to accept her magic. Because of that, my father attacked the muggles that had mistreated her. He was sent to Azkaban... My family gained the reputation of being ill-blooded, and my mother had to lock herself up in the house to watch after my sister."

Mel tried to make sense of what he was saying.

"I know I've gone out of control a few times, but I don't think I..."

"You're too old to create an Obscurial," Dumbledore nodded. "They can only be formed while the witch or wizard are still children, and I daresay you're almost a woman by now... But there's more than one way to taint souls."

She scoffed.

"You remember what happened," Dumbledore continued, unbothered, "when Sirius died?"

"We were fighting, many things happened —"

"I mean right after he was gone," He interrupted. "What did you do to the men that were still standing?"

She tried to remember, but nothing came.

"Your bursts aren't Obscurial, but it doesn't mean your stress can't develop into a grudge that could twist your thoughts," He stated, "your most terrible experiences are recent, and it's only a matter of time until you get tired of holding things in the way you've been doing these last few months."

She supported her elbows on the desk, hiding her face with both hands.

"Did I kill someone last June?"

"I controlled the situation before you could. However, I worry that once I'm gone you won't have the power to restrain yourself, so if you and Harry are thinking about keeping the lifeline and using it to defeat Voldemort, I think I should tell you my story."

All this time her friends and family thought she was really lucky to be this powerful... what would they think of her now? She felt rotten, sick...

"Will it affect Harry in any way?" She asked weakly.

"It could if you keep bottling up all of your emotions," He lowered his gaze, "I understand why you want to share Harry's burden, him being your dearest friend... but you have to know the difference between your ambitions, and your duty."

"Very well," Mel said tiredly. "Tell me your story."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

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[idlecreature]

the buried fic comment from hell (it's so long i'm SO SORRY, I GOT EXCITED)

DEL.. I WASN’T SURE IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO LEAVE A LONG ASS COMMENT ON UR BURIED FIC IN PUBLIC….. SO I’M DROPPING IT HERE i’m so sorry in advance this is about to be a mess,, i’m so fucking emotional right now

((the review under the cut is in response to my fic which can b read here))

okay first –

The mental image of tiny gangly Barnabas and Jonah crouched with their hands in the dirt….. is so fucking cute?? I could feel Jonah’s jealousy just burning off of him. You had me right away. Fuck. You know how to open a story and I’m deeply envious, I’ve always struggled with it. Also, you threw in that little hook:

Despite what Jonah believes, there are some things that just can’t be explained in words.

Barnabas’ voice is so fucking good… guh… you know. I didn’t much care about Barnabas in any deep way before I joined the Jonah server and you guys have all just completely GUTTED me, I can’t believe how much I care about this highly-strung bastard,, he is so GOOD. HE’S SO GOOD???? HE’S SUCH A SWEETIE. LIKE. BARNABAS FEELING GUILTY AND HORRIFIED THAT PEOPLE ARE GRATEFUL TO HIM AND WANT HIM AROUND???? AAAAAAAAAA. And the melancholy aspect, too, which I imagine is how Mordechai was able to relate to him, get attached to him… Barnabas being bitter about how useless his tears are while he’s crying anxiously at the prospect that he might not be able to help those families after all…….

All of those scraps of Barnabas’ letter to Jonah made such EXCELLENT transitions, holy hell. Again I am inspired by your storytelling prowess. I am taking notes, for whenever my ability to write longform fic returns from war. This one was my favorite, made my heart clench:

A good world starts with a good person and a few choices that are made with the heart—

He’s so earnest I’m going to weep ;_; Barny.. you can’t make Jonah a better person he’s AWFUL,,

(Side note, super digging that I can indent stuff, block quoting makes this SO much easier.)

Also really digging that Jonah doesn’t have as nice a reputation as Barnabas… Jonah is the bad influence friend lmfao. AND JONAH’S CAT… I LOVE HIM…

And then you delivered a swift blow straight to the religion kink, as promised… “There’s something undeniably old testament about Jonah; the fire and fury of creation, the self-annihilating stare of Lot’s wife.“ LOSING IT I’M LOSING IT… WHAT A WAY OF DESCRIBING HIM God, here I thought I couldn’t possibly be more attracted to this bastard man. I am aghast at myself.

LOSING IT EVEN MORE OVER BARNABAS STACKING TEACUPS ON JONAH’S HEAD???? Why must you make them so fucking cute oh NO this is going to hurt isn’t it. ((This was the note I stuck in the Word doc while I was reading it and I thought I’d leave it as was for your enjoyment))

“Taking cues from your dreams?” Barnabas replies. “You know only the desperately mad do that?” 

“Or desperately inspired—savants and prophets and visionaries.”

And then you continued to try to kill me… Jonah thinking of himself as a prophet……. hhhhh canon-typical overambitious zealotry I’m HERE FOR IT………

“Are you trying to make me angry with you by playing the devil’s advocate?” 

“Just testing you,” Jonah says in his alloyed voice, silver-and-honey-gold. 

Del I cannot stress enough… My religion kink………. It’s been SO VERY ACTIVATED.

“Your morality has only ever been a thin cover for your shame.”

OUCH, JONAH, JESUS

Every bit of their dialogue was so familiar and tinged with bittersweetness and I owe you my entire life… Sincerely. Ugh. Like, how you described Barnabas’ internal angst about it later on – when he’s thinking of Mordechai, and he refers to "his many dog-eared fantasies” about Jonah it just really vividly conjured the thought of he and Jonah having a sort of? Queer solidarity, ESPECIALLY having grown up together. And that makes Jonah’s flash of betrayal at Barnabas not wanting to be SEEN with him that much more agonizing, personally. Like. I’ve had that happen to me more than once in real life. And much as Jonah is a piece of shit who is absolutely manipulating him………. still, ouch. Ouch. (Barnabas’ thoughts on the company Jonah keeps also made me wince. You did an AMAZING job with all of the internalized shame and frantic rationalizations, hooooooboy.)

The Lukases being colorblind is such an interesting piece of lore by the way I love it????? Now I have. Some questions, about Peter. Mordechai’s characterization in this is so fascinating to me. I’m enTRANCED by how you reverse-Uno’d it so that Barnabas was the reason Mordechai lost himself to the Lonely… the power dynamics……. so tasty. Ugh. And all of the sensual descriptions, especially of that first visit Barnabas had at Moorland house?? I didn’t clip any because I would have ended up clipping the whole fucking thing. It was aching, haunting, beautiful, holyshit. Their romance is somehow more fucked up than Barnabas and Jonah’s…

Also, I was so eager to read this I skipped the tags/warnings and completely didn’t realize Mordechai was going to be an actual vampire so that was a VERY fun surprise lmfao.

Barnabas feels like he’s close to learning something about violence and desire, how close they are, how the wires can get crossed.

THIS QUOTE IS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE ugh I’m having an aneurysm over how Jonah managed to fashion Barnabas into a creature that could understand him by gifting him to Mordechai for a while… letting Mordechai crack him open at the points where he was already brittle and experience an influx of some of the true darkness of the world. Just a tasty taste. That way when he discovers the truth of Jonah’s occult interests he won’t run away, because he’s already got his own fingers in the mess. He’s already given himself to one horror, why not Jonah? Shave some of the shine off of his morality, make him nice and gray so he won’t contrast so much with Jonah… And satisfying his curiosity at the same time. Two birds.

Oh, also, still sobbing about this line:

he realises that he doesn’t want to wear any colours that Mordechai can’t properly see.

EVERY TIME I let my guard down for ten seconds you smacked me with more of Barnabas being the most precious bleeding heart in the universe!!!!!! He aches so much for the people he’s trying to help and he hates people like Mordechai but part of him also wants to save Mordechai, somehow… maybe recognizes the parts of him that are like these people, still. Nearly faded but not quite gone yet. And as you’ve already established, Barnabas simply cannot let things go. Can’t disappoint people… can’t leave them when he could be doing something. Anything. Augh, FEELINGS.

Of course he knew Mordechai and Jonah were friends, he’d just temporarily believed in a sane and fair universe where things like this don’t happen. 

AND YOU HAD SUCH A PERFECT BALANCE OF HUMOR… This could have been such a feelbad fic, and tbh it still would have been spectacular. But you always eased it at just the right moment to keep it from going off the rails into irretrievable deepdark territory. Fed me little soft moments so I’d still be vulnerable enough to have my HEART RIPPED OUT LATER…

I’m not super interested in the Buried canon-wise but I love how you’ve written Barnabas’ natural affiliation with it… so subtle but powerful? (Of COURSE Jonah was jealous, lmao. He had to work so hard and he’s still not on Barnabas’ level. There’s some kinda beautiful commentary on ambition versus goodwill in there somewhere but I’m too busy nursing my battered little heart right now to articulate it.) It wove its way in and out of the rest of the plot so naturally, too. For some reason it compliments Barnabas’ temperament as I read it in canon just… so well. Was there a discussion about this on the server, and if so, PLEASE tell me about it sometime I’m so fascinated.

Jonah wasn’t even present for a lot of the fic but his characterization was so INTENSE and luminous, Christ… I know I already praised it a bit but. Woof. I wasn’t expecting to get a taste of his POV at the end and I was so excited I kicked my feet (my cat was very disgruntled) like, this line!!!

Now, he thinks there’s some truth in those false statements, in the lies we tell and why we want to be believed.

GOD, YOU’RE REALLY GONNA GIVE ME FEELINGS ABOUT JONAH AND FUTURE-JONAHLIAS IN THE SAME FIC?????? EVIL… I’m so so so fucking here for it, oh my God, Jonah with an amplifying anxiety disorder, THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY… too bad the Eye doesn’t let you see the future, Jonah, lmao… the line “immortality just made his anxiety turn nuclear” is SEARED into my brain now, I am NOT accepting canon to contradict this ever again. I’ve always wondered how Jonah’s neuroses might have worsened in two entire fucking CENTURIES and I love the way you wrote it. I am fucking. Losing my mind.

There’s so many other things I could comment on, like. The brief but glorious Jonah-grinding-himself-off-on-Barnabas’-thigh shenanigans. Was incredibly hot, and Mordechai’s poor fragile heart breaking, and Barnabas telling Isabel that it’s fine to call him Barny…….. I’m hhhhhhhhHHHH fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m just!! I am incomprehensible!!! Everyone told me this fic was amazing but it’s fucking amazing, Del, what the hell. I’m never gonna be the same after this. The end was SHOCKINGLY sweet and I have WHIPLASH.

………… So, now that I’ve made you read a novel. Hah. Sorry. My point is. I loved every bit of this. It deserved heaps more praise but my eyes are starting to cross. Thx for sharing :’) 

Love,

Tony xx

TONY. TONY THIS MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. FIRSTLY I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. SECOND OF ALL, THANKS TO YOU I’LL BE SCREAMING FROM THE ROOFTOPS FOREVER HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW THIS REVIEW HAS AFFECTED ME? IT’S THE BEST FEEDBACK I’VE EVER RECIEVED IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE A FIRSTGRADER GETTING THEIR FIRST GOLD STAR I FEEL ON TOP OF THE WORLD LIKE I COULD THROW THE JEWEL OF THE SEA OFF THE SHIP AND LEAN OVER THE RAILINGS BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE AROUND ME TONY IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND THIS REVIEW HAS BEEN A FIREPLACE KEEPING ME WARM THROUGH THE WINTER MONTHS I LOVE YOU DEARLY FOR THIS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE CHAMPION IF YOU WERE IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW I WOULD FRENCH KISS YOU WITHOUT HESISTATION UNTIL THE BOTH OF US HAVE RUN OUT OF AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING BLESS YOU TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[lunuanaki]

Your favorite ship. I'm talking about the one that gives you the butterflies and happy feel good feelings. Talk to me about that. I wanna know what your brain words say about it. :)

THANK YOU, SYN, FOR SENDING ME THIS MESSAGE WHEN NO ONE ELSE WOULD because probably they know what’s going to happen and they don’t want any part of it---  *glares at entire dash like that one picture of the assmad cartoon pig*

I’m going to cut this because it’ll definitely get long, but... if you wanna know what kind of ships I would throw myself in front of a ruby dragon for, you’re boutta find out... I’m gonna explain it for the unfamiliar as well, though. So I get to talk more. I don’t know how anyone on this website could dislike this ship. Fight me. Anyone who reads this and agrees gets the warm fuzzy feeling of my everlasting favour. 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

It’s Velka and Gwyndolin, is anyone surprised?! Nahhh... BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THEM BC I BET YOU DONT KNOW EM?!For those unfamiliar with Dark S//ouls, Gwyndolin is the youngest child of the Great Lord Gwyn, God of War/Sun/Lightning, all that big noisy man stuff. Gwyndolin was born weak and fragile and corpse-white, so, realising he wasn’t much of a trophy child, Gwyn raised him as a girl. Gwyn’s rejection never quite sat well with him, though - he’s always been insecure about his appearance and how others interpret it. He hates being stared at, and has been known to kill servants who aren’t careful where they look. Actually, he’s not fussy about murder in general, but he does have a strong sense of who deserves it and who doesn’t.Gwyndolin’s talents lie in moon-related magic and archery. As an adult, he still presents as female, he’s still horribly weak in a physical sense, paper-white, and for unspecified-in-canon reasons, has six or eight snakes where his legs should be (he still has legs, but the snakes tend to boost him off the floor). I’m not going to link any images. Picture white silk, gold, delicate, intricately made bows and faintly glowing arrows, and a gold mask he hides his face behind that mimics the shape of the sun his dad is so obsessed with.His canon personality is cold and apathetic; this is no tragic princess to be rescued. Suggest as much, or try to cross him, and he will kill you where you stand, with a shot so fast you’d never see him draw the arrow, or raise his staff. He leads a covenant of followers who hunt down sinners. As proof that they killed for their master, these followers tear off their victim’s ear and bring it to his doorstep for his approval. He’s pure grace and moonlight, and the definition of the phrase “glass cannon”. He knows his place, and even though he will never be a true part of Gwyn’s family, at least to his father, he works to support them. You can kill him in-game; if you do, the sun will go out. It was an illusion. The sun went out in Anor Londo centuries ago; Gwyndolin has been maintaining the false image of its better days, as a comfort to visiting Undead, even though it must grate at his soul to do it. His title is Dark Sun. This is not his natural habitat. 

Velka. Velka is a name, and a concept. That’s all we get in-game. She appeared in the third game as a statue (that confirmed my headcanon appearance for her to be spot on). Her title is Goddess of Sin. She’s known for being sneaky, “eccentric witch”, difficult, changeable. Gwyn’s friendship with her was always rocky; she could see his pride and his self interest, and he knew she waited for the day he met her judgement. Flames help him; after the massacre of the dragons, if he ever knelt at her feet, it would be the last thing he did. If Gwyn is the sun, she is the darkness waiting for him to sink below the horizon. Her covenant are absolvers of sin, for a price, their faces covered to separate them from the material world. She has no concept of the Christian idea of sin, because that just doesn’t exist in Lordran. Sin is decided based on her moral compass - conflicting philosophies, like the Way of White, might claim she has none, because she sees no inherent sin in drinking, or sex, or gambling, as long as no ill intent or effect is there. She only wears black, silver, and that one splash of red, the wedding ring from the husband she outlived. She was human once; not a born Lord like Gwyndolin. That mortal vitality is still about her; she never had the luxury of living without the concept of death. Picture extremely long, thick black hair (that she’s famous for in game), crystal-clear lavender eyes, blood red lips, porcelain-coloured skin and purple dark circles, lace and velvet. Her mother taught her to scheme and spy her way up. Gwyndolin was naturally suspicious of her at first, as he should have been. But their covenants had a mutual interest, and she began to supply her list of unrepentant sinners for his covenant to hunt down. It became a bonding ritual, I think both of them enjoyed it more than they’d admit. 

Gwyndolin to begin to get. Jealous. Velka was known for spending nights with anyone she pleased, servant to knight, never getting attached to any of them. There were rumours that the crown prince of sunlight himself was on that list. Gwyndolin seemed to be the only one she wouldn’t look at in that way. Was that because of the way he looked? Did she pity or avoid him the way everyone else did, even after all this time? Every hour she spent with one of them was one she wasn’t with him. His own anger at her is confusing to him, because he’s never had any interest in anyone, male or female, not like this. It was, she said, because she valued him more than one of her throwaways. She paid close attention to him, enough to know he didn’t like to be approached like that, or looked at. Whenever people had shown interest in him before, he’d assumed they were mocking him. She didn’t want to make him feel the way they did, so she was content with the distance she stayed at, as long as she could pride herself on being the one he was most comfortable with. It was selfish, really, but she liked being his favourite, so she’d do anything to stay that way. Velka does not recognise the word love, because she’s never experienced it before, so she doesn’t use it, not yet.

When they finally stopped dancing around each other, her reputation for impropriety died, along with anyone who spoke about her like that in front of Gwyndolin. Gwyndolin is extremely possessive, and Velka, for once, finds she wants to be possessed. There’s still no power imbalance, though. With her support, Gwyndolin’s confidence can develop (she’s so proud of everything he does). With his favour, she can’t be sidelined as badly as before. They have to be careful as a couple, because it’s dangerous to be seen that way. Not because “Gwyn won’t approve of her”, but because between them, with their combined covenants, Gwyn’s distrust of her, and the growing unrest among Gwyn’s human subjects, they present a very real threat to the throne, and as if to prove their point, Gwyn will soon exile his own son and heir for less.

They’re like Morticia and Gomez, if all that overly romantic stuff were silent. Because they don’t need to say anything. Like the time he panicked over an instinctive murder of a wayward servant, and she helped him clean the blood off his hands and let him calm down alone when she wanted to kiss him until he remembered how much more important he was than such a silly mistake as that - to her, and who else matters? Or the time someone made an untoward comment about her at the dinner table and no one saw Gwyndolin draw the arrow, just the sight of it hit the speaker and kill them instantly. She only laughed as politely as she could, because he already knows how much she adores his overprotective homicidal tendencies, and he thrives off it. Her sense of justice has a blind spot that exists just for him, and she can forgive him anything.

There’s a little piece of lore in the game that says Velka sided against the gods in a war, and lost. The AU that could happen if they won gives me life. If they won, she wouldn’t have taken Gwyn’s place herself, she would have given it to Gwyndolin. They would make a terrifying but brilliant leader between them. The sun would set in Anor Londo for good, and Gwyndolin’s intelligence and clarity would get a chance to prove itself more useful than Gwyn’s brute force and genocide tactics. Gwyndolin isn’t much for titles, but you can be damn sure Velka would take it. If it made Gwyn turn in his grave to hear her called Queen, she’d insist on it, after the way she watched him treat Gwyndolin. As if he weren’t worthy of Gwyn’s pathetic legacy. 

Of course, as the series goes, in the third game, Gwyndolin is gone. Reportedly cannibalised by a cult leader and his apprentice while he was weak and sick. Velka’s verse for that revolves around her finding and saving him - whatever that means. 

If anyone stuck with me this long, please offer me emotional support, because I am compromised. I haven’t run out of words or feelings, I’ve run out of energy to convey them. These two are precious to me. Not only is there all this intensity and unrelenting devotion behind them, they take the usual framework for a hetero relationship, shatter it and piece it back together in completely the “wrong” order. Velka has some of the masculine traits, the forcefulness of her mannerisms, the proactively destructive one, however undercover it might be. Gwyndolin is the formal, delicate, princessly one, and has to be pushed to react badly. Both of them are beautiful, in totally opposing ways. You would usually expect the  female to be the sexually inexperienced one and the male to be the opposite, but that’s flipped on its head as well. And yet, the hyper-feminine one is Velka. Gwyndolin is androgynous, even in feminine clothing. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a pairing where each one adds to the others’ existence to such a degree as they do. I reject the events of the second and third games and substitute my own, because anything else is a waste of one of the best pairs I’ve seen in anything, ever. I don’t think I’ll ever top some of the threads I did with enasaliin with these two, honestly, I might as well log out and never come back. I have to go do some starters now. My heart hurts. ;-;

[alliance-recruitment-agency-blog]

Logistics Headhunters - Choosing Supply Chain Management For Changeover Care Business

The transition from college to college can be daunting. With all the new opportunities out there that it can be hard to know where to even embark on. I, a 2004 graduate of Michigan State University, am here to help you to. 

Image Source:

Supply Chain Headhunters - 13 Things You Don't Want to Hear About Logistics 

Manufacturers always make more products than will sell every yr .. Sometimes these are sold by liquidators for a leading discount. Also you can try contacting local merchants and try to take their excess off their hands. Imagine of why these kind of materials are excess, though. Maybe these items didn't sell well for whatever reason and that is why they remain over.

Image Source:

Transportation Headhunters - What Is Logistics and How Does It Work?  

Consider giving ski lift tickets. For live a good area in the country place ski resorts are very quickly few hours drive, you decide to do not in order to be add price tag of an overnight stay to your gift.

Video Source: 

Headhunter Logistic - What Everyone Must Know About Logistics  

The Oughout.S. government heeded our collective might need safe real life dolls. Yes, that includes custom plush dolls. While these toys generally look safer in comparison to lead covered toy car, it still needs to pass certain laws and policies. To protect the consumers, and purchase have the particular Product Safety Improvement Act or the CPSIA.

Need A Logistics Headhunters - Ways Your Mother Lied to You About Logistics 

You must be able deal with the financials to men, from the making up to your logistcs headhunters. Manage factories and offices. Get the capacity hire the people in order to take care of someone works and departments. The next step is developing and improving enterprise enterprise slowly but surely. In doing this, you should be able the following all possible marketing and management skills in order to develop the said business. Require to also grow the customer base as well as product sale. 

Eastern philosophies have taught for thousands of years the perils associated with being the servant for one's mind. It's possible to live a healthier Logistics Headhunting Services life for those who are the master over your body and mind. How to make this transition an individual method that still relates awareness.

When Utilised to be a child, I had an unusual experience. For no apparent reason I set on bed one evening completely believing that I would definitely die around my sleep. I had been absolutely sure this was going to happen. I wrote notes to my parents, left instructions on what to use my things, cried Retail Logistics Headhunters noticeably and finally fell lying down. Can you even imagine what it felt like to wake inside the next moment?! Exquisite, blissful and miraculous don't even begin to share it! I knew We been given a new life, a cutting edge opportunity.

Business startups are very critical for your special business future. If you compromise on any thing in the starting it will linger as well as will result in some big goof up later during. So your business startup has to be very organized. Manpower is a big issue. You have to manage you manpower and assure that they do not screw inside things. Business also needs insurance legalities to be sorted. Security of you manpower is essential so you need to meet the security levels for you man vigor. Business startup sounds easy but needs lot of hard work and legal tangles. I'm hoping his article will have given a head place to your business setup blueprints and plans. 

In today's unstable economy and with threats like climate change and eco-terrorism American families need to acquire survival food storage, emergency preparedness and 72-hour kits. In the event of a disaster whether usually natural or man-made, local emergency men and women be facing the same problems becoming rest of us. It may take time three days, 72 hours or longer permit come with an assistance. Utilizing circumstances you will notice that yourself regarding your own for much larger. 

One route to finding them is to figure out who manufactures the item you wish to sell, contact the manufacturer and ask them to give the list of wholesalers they work with to distribute their device. Then begin contacting the wholesalers yourself and just listen if may well willing to install an account with users. 

But inevitably there is something would like that costs more than what they have money-back guarantee is when you're get to train them about saving. Specialists the hardest thing our kids have to who have really just figured out that money allows for you to get a person want. 

However among fighting can also be found with another transit packaging product. With every depressing announcement about job losses and company closures, the sales of padded covers which are attached to your tips of forks on fork lift trucks, Sumo Gloves, elevated rapidly. Companies that were previously trialling to some degree are now buying in unprecedented percentages. So why fight the recession with fork lift guards? Simple. The return on investment can include of a matter of hours nevertheless there is also less damage to stock, racking, vehicles, fixtures and crucially to folks. Spending rarely and wisely in the recession is obvious. Spending on a rapid payback unit is a no-brainer and certainly taking positive, aggressive action to fight the depression.

The more than 1.4 million members for this Teamsters Union work surrounding the entire global logistcs headhunters in ports, warehouses, rail, trucking, airlines, package delivery and waste and recycling. The Teamsters Union has been at the forefront among the green economy, strengthening ties to environmental allies and building coalitions to influence important rework.

The pre-requisite for any business to make a success is for optimal business map or project. Do your homework and research in the line of goods you intend doing online business. What type of goods searching for at, what amount the actual method or mode of cash you intend doing venture. You need to identify the nations you propose doing business with. You should research thoroughly before entering this industry. Just like any other business, you need your groundwork so you are sure that that the walls is strong and you will thank yourself for this. 

Cordless headphones have long been used to check on music, in case that is what your adult child become using them for, consider giving your next gift modest list like a second found.

Are you using natural dog food recipes? Need to be. Change anything cost much to make natural meals. It's quite simple to make something healthy and non-toxic for your loved small pet. Anyone who cares about the well-being of dogs really should get from your mass-produced "food" and should start creating the regarding food greatest friends so richly worth.

Author Name:- Shreya Mehta

Address:- 104 Esplanade ave 120, 

                 Pacifica, CA

Mobile No:- +1 917-668-8461