#I'm literally just walking in random zigzags
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Well now I am huffing and crossing my arms and trying to walk off my emotion, but it's so much I can't even pace in a normal circle. That's how hard the Edmund and Aithus stuff is hitting me.
#I'm literally just walking in random zigzags#i don't even know what I'm huffing about#it's just. so much.#i can't even#salt and light#other people's characters#@masterfuldoodler#thistled rose of glishirn#aithus#edmund eventone#this is not huffing in a bad way btw#i don't actually know what it is
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sorry about your ankle and wishing you a quick recovery!
i've been meaning to get into mending my clothes more, but i'm not very confident about it and also sensory issues are a thing so it's a bit of a work in progress, one might say.
if you're up to it, i'd love to hear about your general mending process! what steps you usually take and how you make different decisions and whatnot. what tools and materials you commonly use. any tips and tricks you have for mending with a sewing machine. that kind of stuff.
also maybe how to be more confident about mending (besides practice, obviously 😁)
Hi Nessie!
I have all kinds of sensory issues too, and I feel you about the mending difficulties! If I didn't wear boxers, I wouldn't be able to stand thigh mends, and I'd rather chew sandpaper than walk on a darned sock.
I just answered @jimahalangel's ask about mending, patching, and reinforcement, so the post right before this one has a lot of relevant info about that!
Some of my favorite random tricks:
-Anywhere that thread knots will bother me, I almost always use a patch. That way I can hide the knots between the two layers of fabric, and the patch is smooth against my skin.
-Hand sewing: Use a little needle for thick fabric. It'll slide between the fibers easier.
-Machine sewing: Use a big needle for thick fabric. The machine can easily punch through; it just needs a sturdy needle to take that pressure.
-Mends are less visible when you match the grain of the fabric. Denim especially wears most on the vertical grain (the blue threads) and leaves the horizontal grain (white threads) behind.
-Most types of seam binding or bias tape have one side just a little taller than the other. Put the tall side on the back. Then, as you machine along the short side on the front, you're almost guaranteed to catch the back as well.
-Mend denim with blue thread on top and white thread in the bobbin. You use up half as much blue thread, and even if the white thread pops up and shows a little, it's camouflaged in the denim.
-Practice mending on your pajamas first. Seriously. If you think your stitches look wonky, practice on stuff the world will never see. It's also a great place to find out stuff like "my machine's zigzag stitch will literally never balance the two threads properly" or "this fabric must be hemmed" or "wow, I hate lace around my neck."
-When projects are being super difficult, it's okay to have an "out of my sight" pile. Some things need to go to time out to think about their crimes.
-Everything can be undone or covered up. Seriously. If you hate it, unpick it and try something else.
#sewing#diy#cj sews#solarpunk#mending#beginner sewing#it's not waste until you waste it#use it up wear it out make it do or do without
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August 1 - Lotus Pond and surrounding temples, Qishan Train Station
Last night and this morning, I forgot to drink water which was a huge mistake. I only had a few sips in the morning and was left with a raging headache that only got worse as time went on. Before we left the hotel, I bought my old reliable savior, Supau. This one had a little sticker on it - I can't read it but Google Translate said something about the Olympics. Our first stop today was the Lotus Pond. I forgot to bring my water bottle - another mistake which led to my headache worsening and I was literally peeing Gatorade. It was so hot out and we just went to the surrounding temples. There are 12 temples surrounding the pond, especially many Confucianist and Daoist temples. One of the biggest ones is currently under construction and we were able to walk through it but couldn't go upstairs.
When we were walking back to the bus, some random man started giving us free stuff and we got a pamphlet and a little charm thing. I'm pretty sure it is a cult-type religion thing. On one side of the pamphlet it talks about how they are persecuted and on the other side it references this one book and says it's about 5 simple exercises and meditation - a little strange. I am definitely not scanning the QR code in fear of downloading a virus to my phone. The pamphlet was also all in English which signals to me that this guy was specifically targeting gullible Americans which is also suspicious.
Our next stop was another Confucianist temple, but it was closed.
We had some hot pot next which is always great. This time I had some noodles which were very filling. The metal chopsticks are harder to use than the wooden/ plastic ones. I also had some mango ice cream. The ice cream here is strangely sweet. It is the only food here that is overly sweet - reminds me of home sweet home 🦅🇺🇸.
Our last stop was the Qishan Train Station. It used to be important for transporting bananas and sugar cane. It took us an hour to get to the station and there wasn't much to do. It took us another hour to get back. But at least I got to work on this blog and get some sleep on the bus ride back to the hotel. I also got a cute postcard and some stamps. There was this cool stamp that indented the paper which was cool too.
Today is one of the girls on the trip's 21st birthday! We are going to try to watch the sunset at one of the restaurants here. We're still looking for a place but I think we'll all have a good time and it will be nice to just hang out with all the girls.
Reflection
In both Confucianist and Daoist ideologies, especially in Chinese culture (and Taiwanese), the dragon is a powerful figure. In the temple that was under construction, you enter through the dragon side on the left and exit through the tiger side on the right. The walkway to get to the temple was also a zigzag line. Apparently, this is because evil spirits can only travel in straight lines so this construction prevents those spirits from entering the temple. Not all of the temples were like this though which I found interesting. There were so many turtles in this little section of the pond. It is a good deed to buy a turtle and set it free, even though they let them go in this segregated area of the lake - definitely overpopulated with turtles. But it will supposedly help you get into heaven so people do it. All of the entrances also has these metal bars which I think might be to prevent scooters but you have to be relatively thin to get through them, and most people here are but I found that interesting as well.
Back in the day, many East Asian countries practiced Confucianism (government ordained) and were very successful countries because of it. The reason leaders chose Confucianism is because of the hierarchical structure it preached. Children should obey parents, women should obey men, young should obey old, people should obey leaders. There are many stories that were taught in schools about this. In the temples, the tunnel entrances are lined with sculptures with these stories. One is about how to be a good child. In this story, the family is too poor to have mosquito nets and so the son takes off his shirt and goes into his father's room. He lets the mosquitoes bite him so that they are full and don't bite his father. And that's how to be a good son. I don't think these extreme measures are practiced much today but there are still remnants of these ideals in many Asian cultures. Parents have a lot of say in their children's life and it is expected for children to obey. In the US, there is definitely a clash between Gen X and Gen Z/ Millennial cultures of changing mindsets with that idea, particularly within families with Asian descent.
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Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.
Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)
requested : yep prompt: n/a pairing : connor murphy x reader warnings : suicide plan mention additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog
Bored. Bored. Bored.
Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.
You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.
dark-aesthetic🔃connor-fvckng-mvrphy
I have to get this off my chest before I straighten every crooked object offensive clutter distraction OCD nervous as fuck I’ll pull out every hair or tear my fingers off If I don’t figure out how to look in your eyes without screaming
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I can’t remember anything before you I can’t imagine anything without you I want to live the rest of my life with you
But only if you think I’m cool We should just kill ourselves
‘Interesting,' You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’
This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.
At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.
According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read.
He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.
Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month.
And then it all comes crashing down.
One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago.
connor-fvcking-mvrphy
this is not going to be a great week or year or life or anything inbetween i thought for a millisecond that i had found a friend a kindred spirit but you fucking tore it up
fuck you, E.H. your friend too go ahead and laugh laugh all you want but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?
goodbye
You’re worried.
This poem…was not like the others.
This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.
You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.
#suicide plan #goodbye
Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically
you hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out please please don’t kill yourself I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry
You wait, terrified, for a response.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three,
four,
five.
There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.
After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.
connor-fvckng-mvrphy im flattered I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…
You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply.
you OH thank god I thought that you had… Are you okay?? thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry
connor-fvckng-mvrphy im fine actually…i feel much better. thanks for, you know. caring.
you Anytime! I’m [y/n] btw
connor-fvckng-mvrphy connor
you i know thats creepy oh my god;sorry
connor-fvckng-mvrphy it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill
you :)
connor-fvckng-mvrphy so this might sound weird but ???? you’re…pretty cool. i just looked over your account and wanted to know well you know want to talk more???
you wow im??? Really???
connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,
you id love to !!!!
You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.
connor-fvckng-mvrphy do you think, like… well ever get to meet each other?? imean you’re a really great friend now and??? id like to meet you.
you i wish but we live like eight hours away from each other…
connor-fvckng-mvrphy ill drive to you!
you calm down, connor…lmao we don’t want you burning out on the way
connor-fvckng-mvrphy :( I don’t even know what you look like…
you i don’t know what you look like either! XD
connor-fvckng-mvrphy shit well if I send you a picture of me will you do the same?
you sure ig
connor-fvckng-mvrphyme.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,
you WHOA YOU’RE SO PRETTY WTF I THINK IM IN LOVE
connor-fvckng-mvrphy id prefer handsome but I’ll take it your turn, missy.
you hnnghhh okaybewarnedIlooklikeapotato.jpg
connor-fvckng-mvrphy … holy shit
you bad???
connor-fvckng-mvrphy YOU’RE SO FUCKING CUTE??? WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IM-
you no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?
connor-fvckng-mvrphy no way you’re fucking adorable i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker
connor-fvckng-mvrphy we should swap phone numbers
you and skype??
connor-fvckng-mvrphy fuck yeah
you oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]
connor-fvckng-mvrphy my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX
you saved and I just texted you too :)
connor-fvckng-mvrphy 'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis? dude you’re just,,, thats really fucking cute
you wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???
connor-fvckng-mvrphy because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend
you best friend?? awww connor!!!
connor-fvckng-mvrphy yeah yeah you’re literally all I have, [y/n]
you you’re my best friend too!! i really wish i could meet you…
connor-fvckng-mvrphy me too…hold on a sec
you connor??? you okay???
connor-fvckng-mvrphy my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer. i fucking hate her sometimes
you do you?
connor-fvckng-mvrphy …no but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.
you *internet hug*
connor-fvckng-mvrphy Fuck…that’s cute.
As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.
And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.
You were in love with him.
Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?
…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.
You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.
“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.
“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.
“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”
“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.
“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.
“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.
“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.
Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.
To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.
You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired.
“I should go soon.” He says drowsily.
“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”
“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”
You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.
A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.
you i love you too!!!!
#dear evan hansen x reader#connor murphy imagine#connor murphy x reader#connor murphy headcanon#mike faist x reader
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