#I'm like at chapter 77 now btw

[thelastunison]

forgot to mention it before but hi I finally started reading Dungeon Meshi like a week ago and now I decided to color in one of my favorite pages so far

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Chapter 105.5 Thoughts: Control, Manipulation and Partnership

Or, how Chuuya is actually the most qualified character to land a victory over Dostoevsky.

I just want to preface this with: I think Chuuya has woken from the brainwashing. We can't see his eyes, he's holding his hat again, and look at the progression of his face and expression from the last few chapters with him (these are in order btw from left to right).

I'm not completely sure how he did this, but I chalk a lot of it up to sheer stubborn determination on Chuuya's part, mostly because it's funny and he was clearly fighting back before Dazai's speech. However, I find it likely the speech did contain some kind of code - others have pointed out how "Goodbye!" might be a reference to the original author's last unfinished book and we know skk's codenames for things generally are based off their real counterparts' works so, maybe he'd already broken out of it, maybe there was something in there that gave him the final push - who knows at this point honestly? Either way, it means Chuuya had the capacity to break out of the vampire curse on his own and that's incredibly funny to me for many reasons but mostly:

Fyodor: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's ability can't overcome flooding."

Dazai: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's personality can't overcome brainwashing."

But really, this highlights something interesting here, both in what Chuuya's role is ultimately intended to be in this arc, and in the way Fyodor and Dazai manipulate and value others in very different ways.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: we already know that Fyodor is an excellent long-term planner, while Dazai is effectively able to counter him because Dazai shifts into thinking like his opponent. They're foil characters for a reason; they're both highly intelligent, manipulative, and willing to play the long game for the sake of winning against their opponent.

Thing is, I also stand by the idea that personality-wise, they're not similar at all - and that has serious implications for the people they are connected with. The build-up to the prison escape arc really highlights this. Some examples:

Chapter 46: Fyodor believes that all people are sinful and foolish and that his goal is to remove sin. Dazai believes that all people are sinful and foolish but asks what's so wrong with that.

Chapter 64: They decide to have a "super-happy chit-chat" about their problems. Dazai's solution to Fyodor's issue with his lazy subordinates is to get them to think lazing around is a bad thing so they will put in effort of their own. Fyodor's solution to Dazai being unable to woo the waitress is to isolate her from her job, house and family so that she can only rely on Dazai.

Chapter 77: Fyodor believes god is perfection and harmony, and thus that the people capable of change are the superior ones with most control. Dazai believes god is the accidental and illogical and believes it is the ordinary people who fight and live in that uncertainty who create the greatest change.

So, what's happening here? Fyodor's manipulation is shown to be very exacting and direct. He leaves no room for error and regards people on a hierarchy - God above all, himself as a servant of God's will, and the sinful and foolish humans he has little regard for. Dazai's manipulation involves manipulation of the situation, and is often indirect. It involves people coming to the conclusion he intends for them to on their own. And from his later dialogue with Sigma, we see he doesn't regard the world in that same kind of hierarchy.

Now, look at the way Fyodor picks an item and Dazai picks a person when starting the game. Look at the way Fyodor refers to Chuuya respectfully but brainwashes him entirely and mocks Dazai for not being worthy of "using" his ability. Look at the way Dazai is a complete ass to Chuuya but ultimately lets him make his own choices (begging people to take note of that moment in Stormbringer where Dazai cuts himself off to correct his referring to Corruption as Arahabaki's true power to Chuuya's true power).

So, the actual strength Dazai has over Dostoevsky then, is not really his strength at all, it's the strength of others and their choice and willpower to act in the way they believe is best. It's the only means of getting a leg up on Dostoevsky, otherwise they will continue to go around and around in circles forever.

And Chuuya is the best candidate for finally throwing Fyodor off his game.

Firstly, let's just establish something: no matter how mad he is at Dazai, he's not going to side with Fyodor, not willingly. Fyodor threatened the Mafia in the Cannibalism arc by attacking Mori, first of all. I doubt he's forgiven him for that. Secondly, Fyodor embodies everything Chuuya can't stand about Dazai, at the very least, younger Dazai - the manipulation, the lack of consideration and connection with others, the callousness and lack of regard for life.

Well, perhaps he's not quite as irritating. +1 point for Dostoevsky I guess?

But lastly, it is more advantageous for Chuuya at this point to help fight against Fyodor, especially since most of the Mafia has been vampirized by his organization. Helping the Agency stop the terrorist plot will help the Mafia by extension by undoing that. And we know from Stormbringer that no matter how much Chuuya is personally hurt, he considers taking out the threat to his people a higher priority. Always.

(You could make the argument that he was told whatever Teruko told Atsushi and decided to join, but not only do I find this wildly out of character, but if that was the case then there would've been no reason to brainwash him.)

That said, I don't think this was preemptive "Dazai's master plan #3057", and in fact, I stand by the idea that Dazai had no idea Chuuya was going to be in the prison. It is very, very important to me that for the rest of this arc, no matter what Chuuya does, that his actions are his own. Not Fyodor's, not Dazai's, but his. And not just because I hate that he's being controlled right now and that freedom of choice has always been important for Chuuya.

But because it makes narrative sense.

The vampires are a bit silly, yes, but they represent the way Fyodor and Fukuchi think - humanity will commit atrocities. They cannot be trusted to make their own decisions. They want to make a world that is free by... mind-controlling people so their plans work without a hitch. In short, they choose, on behalf of others, to sacrifice human autonomy for peace. So, if we are going to turn this arc around, we need to have characters breaking out of that control and thinking for themselves, in spite of the uncertainty of the outcome.

We already see this with Atsushi in the last chapter! He finally takes initiative and makes that choice to leave the room when he doesn't exactly know what the right thing to do is. And this is also why I don't think Teruko is wholly convinced by the DoA either - she lets him go. She gives him the freedom to choose what he does with that information.

Another one of the focus characters here is Sigma. Sigma is a guy who has no past, whose humanity is questioned, who keeps being used by organizations for his valuable ability, who has no home but desperately wants one... oh wait. Remind you of anyone's younger self? This could go one of two ways: Chuuya fails to assert his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from that failure, or, Chuuya succeeds in asserting his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from his success.

I think it, by necessity, has to be the latter. Sigma's at a tipping point right now, and I think seeing someone try to assert their freedom only to fail would damage him greatly. And I think it's a waste of Chuuya's character honestly.

Chuuya needs to assert his autonomy in this arc. Not just for thematic reasons but because I can think of no one else who can effectively break the "super-genius stalemate".

I keep hearing "Dazai knows Chuuya" in response to Fyodor calling their bond shallow, and that is absolutely true! But Chuuya also knows Dazai. Incredibly well. Odasaku knew Dazai's soul, but Chuuya knows Dazai's mind, knows his strategies and ways of thinking without even needing words. What's more, Chuuya has thrown off Dazai before and done what he didn't expect him to.

Which is nifty, because Dazai and Fyodor think a lot alike. Chuuya is in a unique position to thwart Dostoevsky because he may actually be able to predict him to a degree. Chuuya can absolutely land a victory against him, and it's excellent because it would be completely unexpected to Fyodor, who apparently thinks Chuuya's strength lies only in what his ability has to offer and not much else.

But listen. This also can't be skk's plan. I need Chuuya to sideline both of them. Both for the sweet, sweet catharsis of putting those two idiot geniuses in their places and also because I need Dazai to have screwed up. He wasn't wrong about people making their own choices in uncertainty. People need to assert their autonomy to create change. Dazai can't be wrong in this regard.

But with going ahead with the trap to drown Fyodor despite also having to drown Chuuya when he promised not to let him get killed... this needs to have been a mistake, otherwise the value of Dazai's emotional speech to him is diminished.

I want Dazai to try to laugh it off. I want him to say he always knew Chuuya would escape and then for Chuuya to deck him because "no, the fuck you didn't".

I really think Dazai hoped Chuuya would make it. Do remember that Chuuya was one of the first reasons young Dazai decided to try giving life a chance. The fact that he flashbacked to all his key memories with Chuuya says a lot. But his survival was no guarantee and it seemed very unlikely.

So, Chuuya is faced with the fact that Dazai nearly sacrificed him to kill Dostoevsky and save his new Agency friends.

And I hope he finally gets mad. I hope he finally expresses hurt on his own behalf for once. I hope they are forced to break their status quo that they have carefully maintained by not talking about anything ever. I hope they are pushed to uncomfortable places and that it is Chuuya who finally spurs this development.

Let Chuuya break the stalemate between Dazai and Dostoevsky. Let him shatter the status quo that him and Dazai have kept going for year after year.

Autonomous action in the face of uncertainty is necessary for change.

[daz4i]

btw the way i do it is i remember precisely what chapters nikolai shows up on (+other big events like ch88 and ch101 iykyk) and then i calculate in my head how far said event is from them and logically how many chapters it'll take to get between these points. works every time

my bsd autism isn't of the sort that like. i consumed every piece of media there is of this franchise and can tell you every detail there is to know about canon. BUT if you show me an event or a frame from the manga (mostly from the perfect crime arc onwards, but not only) i could tell you the exact chapter it's from with a margin of error of maybe 2-3 at most, or moments from the anime with the exact episode number

[asbealthgn]

2, 16, + 77 for the fic writer asks! (for 77, choose any of your fics!)

thank you! questions are here

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

definitely write as i go! i have vague ideas for what i want to have happen at some point but i don't really plan much out. if i do it's just a really bare outline that i don't necessarily even stick to

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

there's like three i'm actively working on right now? there's hey, where did we go? which i'm working on the most and posting, then there's a darker monster!eddie one that i've been working on here and there. i may start posting that at some point when i have more of it done but i'm a little uncertain on it since it'll be pretty dark compared to anything else i've written. then i also have a pure smut fic that i'm working on that may very well never see the light of day bc i'm still embarrassed about posting smut O.O oh and i guess my big bang fic should also be counted on there? the first draft is pretty much done so i probably won't touch it again until after artist claims. then i also have several wips that i haven't touched in months so i doubt they'll ever get finished.

77. Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

thank you for this question! i'm just going to copy and paste a scene from one of the fics i'm the proudest of (near wild heaven) (spoilers for it btw):

Steve looked over at Eddie, who was focused on the water below. The setting sun caught on his face, turning him golden. Steve didn’t think he could take it anymore. He was thinking of Robin over the phone, saying “Tell him, dingus.” He was thinking how he didn’t want to go the rest of his life without Eddie knowing how he felt. He was thinking, God, Eddie is so fucking beautiful.

“I love you.”

Steve felt his breath leave his body as time slammed to a halt. He saw Eddie blink, like in slow-motion, then look at Steve.

“What?” he asked. 

The words were out there. Steve couldn’t be a coward now. He had to do this. Eddie had to know. 

“I love you,” he said, “I’m in love with you.” He saw Eddie’s mouth open slightly but he barreled on because he had to say this now or he was never going to be able to. “I’ve been falling in love with you for the past five years, God, maybe even longer. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, not since the first time we kissed.

“I love how you are with the kids, I love your voice when you sing, I love your hair, and your rings, and I love your music even though I hate your music, and I love how fucking smart you are, and I love—God—I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie was looking at him in a way that made Steve’s stomach plummet. His expression—Steve realized it was the same exact way Robin had looked at him when they were curled up on the floor of that bathroom at Starcourt. 

“Steve,” Eddie said, voice soft and heartbreakingly gentle and all Steve could think was Oh, God, please, no, this can’t be happening again—

“Steve, I’m sorry,” Eddie said. And he sounded so deeply and genuinely sorry. Steve felt a pattern of fissures forming on his heart, spreading out through his whole body. “I don’t…” Eddie went on, “Listen, I care about you so much—”

Steve bent over the railing and put his head in his hands. “God, Eddie, don’t,” he groaned.

“No, listen,” Eddie said, putting a hand on his back. “I do, okay? I really fucking care about you. You matter to me, so much. I just don’t… I can’t give you that.” 

Steve lifted his head just enough to look at Eddie. His brows were knit together, face pained in the twilight. 

“I’m sorry, Steve,” he whispered.

The fissures in Steve threatened to break open. He took a shuddery breath and tried desperately to hold himself together.

thank you for the questions i love doing these!