#I'm like a turtle stuck on its shell and unable to get back up

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

I have some drafts that have been sitting in my to-do list for years. I'll just dump here the snippets I have and if you guys want me to work more on one or some, let me know!

They're mostly Donnie centered (no surprises there heehhehehe)

In A Sentimental Mood (Donatello x F!Reader)

Inspiration: In A Sentimental Mood by Ella Fitzgerald

Dammit. When you had told Donnie that you went shopping for some new clothes, he did not expect for you to wear something as cute as that.

A soft summer dress, light and stopping right above your knees. The fabric was caressing your skin in a tantalizing fashion, gently swaying whenever you would move around the kitchen, preparing dinner. No lights were on in your apartment, the final setting sun rays glowing across the place in warm orange and gold hues. The mutant was seated next to the table, his eyes never missing any of your movements. He wasn’t much of a believer in miracles and such, but whenever his gaze and mind would stop on you - he knew that nothing and no one in life could ever be better than you. The fact that you were both an item was almost unbelievable at times. And yet, he knew your love was undeniably true.

As you were chopping vegetables, your hips slowly swaying from one side to another to an imaginary tune, that’s when Donnie knew he couldn’t stay put anymore. In an instant he was standing up, a few steps good enough to lead him to you, his arms instantly hooking to your form as his hips were glued to your back. You could feel his smile as he was nuzzling the top of your head, bringing one smirk to your face as well.

“Why are you perfect?” he softly said.

“Perfect? Me? Says who?”

“Says me. Forever and ever...”

His thumbs softly brushed at the dress’ fabric.

“And may I add beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, the prettiest woman on earth...”

You hummed, appreciating his words.

“I cannot compare nor surpass to the handsome man standing close to me right now.”

(....)

-X-X-X-X-

Do you wanna...? (Donatello x F!Reader)(18+)

Inspiration: Coast Is Clear - Skrillex

He couldn’t work. He couldn’t focus. All his eyes did were to drift over you, patiently studying your form seated near the kitchen table, ever polite as you listened to the other turtles going about some random subjects. Oh he knew you were not really attentive to the whole situation, especially by the way your leg would shake a little, restless and eager for some action. How you would sometime bite your bottom lip, thinking something the purple clad mutant most probably knew what it was about. Half of a smile appearing on his lips, Donnie took out his phone, already sending a text to you.

‘Coast is clear. Leo is starting to talk about fighting techniques and that’ll get Raph all riled up.’

He saw your body shake a little, trying to hush a chuckle as you were reading and now answering:

‘So what now? Want me to run away? Aren’t you supposed to work?’

‘I don’t give a fuck right now. I can’t concentrate...’ He answered.

He grinned, adding: ‘And speaking about fuck .... do you wanna?’

‘Wanna what? Wanna fuck?’

‘You said it now.’

Your head moved to look towards his workstation, your gazes meeting. That smug look on his face... Dammit! You couldn’t stop your smile from invading your traits, suddenly feeling hotter.  You took one last glance at the other mutants, seeing that they were now deep in their conversations, and you simply slid down your chair. You knew Donnie was laughing in his corner, seeing you sneaking away, trying to get past everyone’s attention.

(...)

-X-X-X-X-

Wine Time (Donatello x Reader)

You did not miss Leo, Raph and Mikey’s eyes going straight to you as you arrived to the Lair with a bag from which clinking sounds could be heard. Now at the kitchen table, you proceeded to neatly place several bottles on top, you steps light as you next went to grab wine glasses. You were soon welcoming the purple clad mutant, Donatello, handing him a corkscrew.

“Mister Donatello, if you may please open the first bottles,” you started in a pompous tone. “Some of those blends need to breathe!”

“I will do so with great pleasure, dear!” answered the other, playing the same game.

(...)

-X-X-X-X-

Confidence (Donatello x F!Reader)(18+)

(Took some inspiration from a prompt list that I'll share if I work more on this.)

You had been dating Donatello for a couple of months now, and you could already see this slight shift in his persona. A laid-back, relaxed attitude that just proved how much goodness you were now bringing into his life. Sure he’d get his shy bouts here and then, but you knew that once you two had started to get intimate, that’s when he gained more confidence in general.

You’d catch him sometimes eyeing you, showing a small smirk whenever you’d notice. He loved ghosting his fingertips on your skin whenever he was near you, sensing those delighted goosebumps. He’d make sure to give you a nice view of his lap when sitting down, just for you to see and enjoy. Boy, he knew all the feelings he was giving you. He was a gifted lover and there was no denying that you were always a bit eager to receive more from him each and every times...

That evening he was at your apartment, as you had requested his help regarding some issues you were experiencing with your laptop. That device was no match for the terrapin, of course, explaining his process to you as a future reference for yourself - sitting on the sofa in your living room.   Sure he was adding some kisses here and there to you during loading times, how could he resist doing so anyway? His tone while explaning was calm and low, unbothered by any problems he could face during the process. He was spending time with you, and that alone was making his day better past any issues.

As the laptop issue was nearing its end, you noticed the time and invited the genius to stay - at least to get a bite. As you got on your feet and straight to the kitchen nearby, you tried to find anything in your fridge worthy enough to cook in order to properly thank Donnie. But as you glanced away from the cold and back to the mutant, you saw him looking at you, that damned cute smirk on his lips. A shy smile was now on your face, hoping you weren’t blushing too much.

“I- I think I have some pastas I can cook. Maybe I can do something with that,” you mumbled, fidgeting as you got back in motion.

“What's the matter, love? You get nervous when I look at you like this?”

His voice brought your attention back to him, now noticing him sitting comfortably and slightly manspreading. He was obviously showing an ease and satisfaction in knowing that you were now enjoying the view. You tried to play his game a bit, hands on your hips as you tried to look unimpressed by his act.

“I’m not nervous! I just get surprised sometimes.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, surprised.”

“Yeah. Ever since we’ve started dating and fucking you have this-” you gesticulated broadly in his direction, “this sex appeal. Shit, I don’t know how to describe it!”

Donnie was amused, taking it as a compliment mostly. He gently tapped on one of his thighs.

“Come. Sit.” he nodded you over.

You sighed comically, giving in to his demand as you moved towards him.

“I’m not a dog,” you commented, straddling his lap.

You felt his fingers gently brushing your back, getting lower and lower.

“My apologies. You’re more like a cat, indeed. I love making you purr.”

He ended with his large hands holding your hips, his fingers caressing your ass. A gasp left you, followed by a smile, as the mutant had brought you into a slow grind against him. Your arms found solace around his neck, happiness filling you both as you closed the gap between your bodies in a joined kiss. His assertiveness was felt in his touch, feeding the fire deep in your core with every pieces of clothing he removed from your frame.

(...)

-X-X-X-X-

annnnnd that's it!

If you made it to the bottom of this post, congrats! You deserve a digital cookie after going all through my brainrot heheheh

I just felt poopy for keeping all that stuff hidden in my drafts. Whenever I try to work more on them, I just block. And I hate that.

So if there's anything that catches anyone's fancy, let me know and I'll kick my butt to focus on the task.

Wahaohwhwoahaoahwawahoooooo

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Broken Shell (Angst/Fluff-ish ending)

BVT!Raphael x reader

A/N: Time for some for more of the BVT bois😈😂❤️

Warnings: Broken shell, mentioning of blood, emotional distress, emotional outbursts, anger outbursts.

The city was a blur of noise and chaos, but for Raphael, the world had narrowed down to pain and darkness. The battle against Shredder and Ra’s al Ghul had left him grievously injured. His brothers had managed to get him back to the lair, but the damage was done. His shell was cracked, his arm mangled, and blood seeped from numerous wounds.

You, a close friend of the turtles, and an especially close friend of Raphael, had immediately taken on the role of caretaker. You had minor medical training, all thanks to Donatello. Thank god that the turtles had thought it important for you to learn a little, because otherwise there was no saying what would have happened to Raph. With Donatello’s help, you did your best to patch Raphael up. But it was a grueling process. At one point Donnie had to tell you to go take a break, due to your shaking hands, letting Batman, Batgirl and Alfred take over for you. Mikey and Leo ended up having to take you out of the Batcave and have you sit down in the kitchen of Wayne Manor, where Robin poured you a glass of water. You were shaking, on the verge of tears. And sadly, you knew that the troubles would be far from over after that one night.

—

The first night after the patch up was the hardest. Raphael's usually fierce eyes were dulled by pain and medication, unable to fully focus on anything around him. You sat by his side, holding his hand, whispering words of comfort that felt hollow even to your own ears. You could see the frustration in his face, the anger at his own helplessness. Raph hated being stuck in bed like this. And when he was in that mood, it could be hard, even for you to have a dissent conversation with him, without him getting at least a little passive aggressive.

"It's going to be okay, Raph", you said softly, brushing over his knuckles with your thumb in a calming manner, hoping it would work.

"Yeah, right", Raphael muttered, his voice thick with pain and fatigue, still not focusing on anything in the room. "Just peachy".

—

By the third day, Raphael’s frustration had turned into anger. You were doing everything you could to make him comfortable, but Raphael's pride was wounded as deeply as his body. He hated being weak, and he hated needing help. Even if it was from you, a person he cared for and trusted. It was just not something in Raph’s to feel comfortable with, or even feel deserving of.

"Stop hovering", he snapped at you, as you tried to adjust his bandages. "I’m not a baby".

"I don’t think you’re a baby. I’m just trying to help, Raph," you replied gently, trying to hide your hurt.

"Well, I don't need your help!", he yelled, his voice cracking. "I don't need anyone's help!"

The words cut deep, and you felt tears sting their eyes. You knew Raphael didn’t mean it, knew he was just lashing out because he was in pain and his current self loathing. But it still hurt. Not just because of his words, but because it was Raphael, the guy you cared so much about…

—

A week into Raphael's recovery, the tension reached its breaking point. You had been running themselves ragged, barely sleeping, constantly worrying about Raphael. You were exhausted, both physically and emotionally. It was at the point where everybody could see it. One thing was to have Raph’s brothers come and ask you if you needed a break, but to have Batman put a hand on your shoulder, telling you that you had to focus on yourself before you decided to help Raph, was something you did not expect. Nevertheless you stuck around Raph, intending to help him, even if his short temper got the best of him.

"Raph, you need to eat", you said, holding out a bowl of soup.

"I'm not hungry", Raphael growled, his eyes not even looking at you, his face emotionless.

"You have to keep your strength up”, you insisted.

"I said, I'm not hungry!" He slapped the bowl away, sending it crashing to the floor with a loud crash, the soup now all over the kitchen floor. Everybody stared in silence, shocked by Raph’s outburst. And outburst against you. That had never happened before. "Why can't you just leave me alone?!"

You stared at the mess, feeling your patience snap. Raph’s brothers had several times told you that you were a little like Raph, and now as you finally felt your temper break over, you understood why. "Because I care about you, you idiot! Because I can't stand seeing you like this and not do anything to help!"

Raphael looked at you, and for a moment, the anger in his eyes flickered into something else - something vulnerable. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by his usual scowl.

"Fine. Do whatever you want", he muttered, turning his gaze away from you, not caring who in the kitchen were looking at the two of you.

You once again felt tears welling up again, but you refused to let them fall. Instead you stood up from the chair, making sure it made as much noise as possible as it scooted back from you. You made a big deal out of staring at Raph as you got a towel, doing just like Raph had done, ignoring everybody else in the room and their nervous stares. You cleaned up the mess in silence, their heart aching with every second that passed. Yet you stared at Raph, catching him throwing glances at you every once in a while. He felt bad. But Raph being Raph, he wasn’t going to say it.

—

Three days after the kitchen incident, Raphael finally reached a breaking point of his own. You found him in his room, staring at the ceiling, his face drawn with pain and regret.

"Hey", you said softly, sitting down next to him, keeping the distance you had kept to him, ever since he yelled at you.

"Hey", he replied, not meeting your eyes.

There was a long silence, and then Raphael spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry".

You blinked, not sure you had heard him correctly. "What?"

"I'm sorry", he repeated, louder this time. "For everything. For yelling at you. For pushing you away. I just... I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling weak".

Your heart softened, reaching out to take his hand, just like you had done so many times before what happened in the kitchen. "Raph, you're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know. But it's okay to need help sometimes. It's okay to be vulnerable".

Raphael looked at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I don’t deserve you", he said hoarsely.

You squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. "Yes, you do. We’re in this together, Raph. No matter what".

—

As the days went by, things slowly began to improve. Raphael's physical wounds started to heal, and so did the emotional rift between him and you. You spent long hours talking, sharing both of your fears and hopes, and rebuilding the trust that had been strained.

One evening, as the two of you sat together watching a movie in Bruce Wayne's large living room, Raph suddenly turned to you with shining eyes and said, "I don't know what I would’ve done without you".

You smiled back at him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "You don’t have to find out. I’m not going anywhere".

This made Raph smile back at you before turning back towards the television. “I hope you’re right”.

—

A month after the battle, Raphael was able to move around more easily, though he still had a long way to go. You stayed by his side every step of the way, your bond stronger than ever.

One night, as you sat on the balcony of Wayne Manor, looking out over the city, Raph suddenly took your hand in his.

"Thank you", he said softly, maintaining a strong eye contact with you. "For everything".

You smiled and leaned your head against his shoulder, sighing and feeling a sense of peace.

"Always, Raph. Always", you said, letting your eyes fall upon the city beyond the trees once again. At that point you knew that when you, Raph and the others returned back home to New York, you and Raph would have many things and feelings to discuss together.

[zetaro]

Rambly lil post about some things going through my head. TW: depression stuff

When I was a kid, my friend got hit in the face with a basketball. Me being ever the 9 year old comedian joked about getting them an ambulance, maybe to distract them from the pain, maybe cause I didn't know how else to deal with the situation, maybe cause I was just being a lil shit, I no longer remember. What I do remember, and what I probably will remember for the rest of my life, is what they said next: "you can't help, you can only be sarcastic". and they were right, I was not helping in that situation. I don't think I had the tools nessicary to help. My friend was in pain, and I had failed to help them.

That feeling, and those words, stuck with me. At times, it lead me to isolate myself from the people around me. If I couldn't improve thier lives in any way, the best thing I could do for them is keep my distance. A lot of lonely bus rides home were the result of this line of thinking. Those words would play out at my lowest moments and worst of failures. "You can't help" became "what are you even doing here? You can't help and will only make things worse". It made me question my worthiness to even exist.

Other times, these words would make me into a door mat. "You cant help" you say? Ill show you, ill be the most helpful person this side the Mississippi. Id bend over backwards to anyone who I might be able to prove my worth to. If they needed a light I would set myself ablaze just to help them see. Needless to say I burnt out. And when you are in a state where you can no longer help yourself, it is near impossible to help others in any meaningful way. So we cycle back a paragraph and shut ourselves off from the world.

Even though i have grown a lot since then, I still find myself slipping into these old hats every once and a while. Id like to think that i am a generous person, something that I don't intend to change, but I now realize how there are unfortunately people who are too eager to take advantage of the kindness I offer. I also still turtle up in my shell when things get tough. If I am unable to help others, then I should be alone, or at least that's the thinking process. It's made asking for help difficult, but I am still learning and growing. And even though I really want to help others as much as I can, I now realize that I need to be solid aswell. It takes a balance, one that I am still trying to get right.

I think its quite interesting how little events from our past, seeming innocuous to others, can shape the people we become. I'm thankful for what my friend said that day because it made me want to be a selfless person. But at the same time, those words haunted me, and every person I let down that voice re-appeared. "You can't help". And you know what? Sometimes I can't help, and that is okay. I am trying my best to help however I can whenever I am able. And even though I will not always be able to help, I will do my best to try, and I hope that is enough. "You can't help" becomes "you didn't help, but you tried, and maybe next time you will".

So I guess if you are reading this then thanks for hearing my thoughts, I hope they were somewhat interesting. The takeaway is idk try and do good but if it doesn't work out then don't sweat it too much. Mission failed we'll get em next time kinda energy. Change what you can, accept that you can't change some things.