#I'm just so damn happy I actually managed to get everything else done today!! the living room was a mess before

[running-in-the-dark]

I have officially started painting the walls in the living room.

well, I've mixed/adjusted the paint and painted some swatches and put up masking tape and all that stuff. I'll be painting tomorrow. I'm so excited (to get started, but mostly that I'll finally be all done with evvvverything*)

*until I think of the next thing I want to do, and the next one after that, and -

[icedmetaltea]

dude pmdd hit me seemingly MIDWAY THROUGH YESTERDAY ALL AT ONCE I want to fucking scream

I'm bloated and sore and getting mood swings and anxious as hell and depressed as fuck and acne-ridden... had a good long cry yesterday and it helped for a bit but today I'm equally fucked up

and going over each and every convo with the social worker and feeling like I messed up everything and she hates me and wishes I was dead... like I asked if we could do a remote session and she just replied with "sure"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN does it mean you're incredibly disappointed with me

does it mean “wow kelsey we're going to have zero stuff to talk about so who cares which way we do it”

“cause how are you supposed to get exposure therapy if you're not getting out to the car w/ me idiot”

(texted her again to see if we can just reschedule cause come on there's nothing to talk about till we get replies from the disability lawyer and the paperwork we need for the tuition forgiveness thing and I can actually go outside bc rn I'm an anxious wreck who'd throw up if I even looked at a car)

and I forgot my mom's birthday yesterday on top of everything else, my dad had to text me a little reminder and that was AFTER I sent her a bunch of panicked messages about project 2025 (which thankfully she didn't see and I deleted before she could, but damn, I feel like every time I try to talk about politics with her the world punishes me for it) and I sent her an ecard but it was already like 8pm at that point and though she thanked me I feel like she was disappointed for me to forget- plus I obvs couldn't get her any birthday gift bc I'm broke as fuck

and on top of everything else last night it got really really bad (the birthday thing was the icing on the cake) and I ended up getting the stupid urge to cut again. i was able to control it enough to reach for my bag of rubber bands and use one, it's been like half a year since I've done that and now I feel disappointed in myself, but I couldn't take it anymore and honestly I'll probably do it again today

I'm a disappointment to everyone. To the social worker. To mom and dad. To my sister. To my friends. To everyone. And everyone would be happy if I was gone

and sure I'm sure this is just hormones talking bc last week I had interests, I was smiling, I was watching stupid meme vids and not wanting to blow my brains out but since yesterday it's all I've been able to think about, how fucked the world is, how we're gonna go into a civil and/or revolutionary war and climate change is fucked so I might as well go before I have to suffer too much right?? But then I feel like I should suffer because I deserve to. I'm so pathetic.

Now all my interests are gone. I can't smile. I have no appetite but I'm so goddamned hungry. Any progress I made on fixing my sleep schedule is gone cause I didn't fall asleep till 7am. I doubt I'll be able to go outside today. I doubt I'll be able to do anything today but be curled up in bed wanting to off myself.

I feel like everybody's sick of me and my emotions. What if they think I'm manipulating them?? Then I try to rationalize that like "wow you'd have to be pretty impressive if you somehow accidentally managed to manipulate everyone without even trying to and while being as bad at puzzles and logic games as you are" like I've been taught with therapy time and time again but of course that only works so well when danny's voice is echoing in my head.

The worst part is I never know if it's just PMDD making me feel this way or if it's just pulling away the blinds of distraction and making me see myself and the world for how it is

I'm so tired

[frogsandfries]

I didn't get much done today. My sister spent the night at the home of some guy that she blocked basically as soon as she left and then slept most of the day. I worked on this for a little while in the morning, went down for a late lunch, ended up staying down there trying to work up the executive function points to fix the sink.

That was a whole fucking mess. I've decided that I am perfectly happy with calling management whenever something is wrong with my living space.

First, I couldn't get the water valve shut all the way, so it was flowing into the cabinet the whole time. I really tried everything I could think of to turn off the water. I looked everywhere to do so. Ultimately, the property manager (i.e my sister aka the homeowner) decided she didn't care and thought it was fine.

Second, the new faucet's connections were too small, so we had to go out and get an appropriate connector. We had to leave the house. With water flowing into the cabinet.

Third, we didn't have any appropriate tools, so I used my jewelry wire cutters to cut one of the copper tubes so I could get the old faucet off.

Fourth, in taking the new faucet back off the sink, for some reason, the part that was supposed to hold the actual faucet in place no longer wanted to hold the faucet. So I used silicone adhesive to help. Gaaaawwwwdddd I hope it actually works.

FIFTH!! THEN the shut off valve for hot decided to get too loose. So I had to figure out how to get that tightened back down.

And lastly, when I finally retreated to my office to get some work done, like finally trying to figure out how to YouTube, my god. Damn. Cat. Would. Not. Stop. Screaming. At. Me.

He's a fucking mess. He hates being in a room with the door closed. He didn't want to snuggle or be held or chill in the goddamn cat tree. He and I don't have the best relationship in the first place. Until we moved in with my sister's cats, I thought he and my girl, his sister, were bonded, but she hisses at him at least half as much as she hisses at everyone else, so I have no idea.

So anyway, he's not allowed to be in the office with me while I'm doing anything with thread/string or cameras. The only reason he was in here--well, two reasons--was: One, earlier today, one of my sister's cats who is perhaps overly interested in my boy but also has no fucking idea how to play nice, beat his ass just because he was in the same room as her. And two, sometimes he picks fights with my sister's other girl, her Maine coon. Although, yesterday, I let them fight under supervision and I wonder if perhaps he's figured it out with that one.

Now if only (??) my girl would fight it out with my sister's boy with whom she has beef. I wonder if some kind of brain medication might chill her the fuck out enough that the other cats can check her out and be done with it, and maybe she can finally acclimate to the house and the other cats. I honestly don't know the solution; she's a very finicky, particular cat. She's been known to fight the vet. It's just tearing me up that she's so stressed and unhappy, she's basically gone half-feral. When she's downstairs in the main living areas, she's constantly fluffed up, she growls at me when I'm petting her, I can barely pick her up. She's just......stressed out.

Seeing her so incredibly upset and stressed and unhappy is..... it's so hard. They were extremely happy and chill after we left my ex. Now she's even more unhappy than when we were living with that person..... It's really hard to see and it's even harder now knowing what to do. I can't afford a goddamn thing right now. I supposed I could just obsess over mturk until I've earned three or four hundred dollars. I don't feel right asking my sister to take her to the vet when she's got her own animals to take care of and get to the vet and she still needs to pay her deductible on her car insurance.

[kpop---scenarios]

Torn Apart (2 Final)

Pairing: Surprise! x Reader

Warning: Smut, Sadness, Angst Maybe? Mean People

Word Count: 5.4k

It had been weeks. 

Weeks of sobbing into your pillow, weeks of feeling like things were going to get better, until you found the most insignificant thing that belonged to Chanyeol and you broke down all over again. You missed him. You missed his touch, his warmth, his smile, the way he made you laugh when you were sad. You missed it all. You were broken, and it was all Chanyeol's fault. 

Until you scrolled through Instagram, and saw pictures of him with Maya, that bitch. You had never hated anyone in your life until you had met her. You couldn't even begin to fathom what even slightly redeeming qualities Chanyeol saw in her, but apparently there was something to that wench.

You were curled on your couch in the fetal position as you cried at the ending of Strong Girl Bong Soon. You wished you had a love like that. The way An Minhyuk loved Bong Soon was the relationship you wanted, the one you would strive for. He loved her so much and you just wanted to be loved by someone like that. 

You groan loudly as your doorbell rings, and then whoever pounds on your door. You didn't want visitors, you didn't care who it was, you wanted to hermit. 

"What?" You yelled from the other side of the door. 

"Y/N, let me in." You hear from the other side. You recognized the voice immediately. 

"Baekhyun, I look like a troll. Kindly leave." You sigh. 

"Y/N, if your trolly ass doesn't let me in, I will break down your door." He threatens, which makes you laugh for the first time in days. You both knew he would never be able to do that, and he would likely end up hurting himself. 

"Baek, you would break your leg." You say, pulling the door open. On the other side was a sympathetic Baekhyun, who had tissues, ice cream, chocolate and a bag full of movies. You smile at his kindness. "You know I have Netflix right?" 

"Shut the fuck up and move, this shit is cold." He barks, moving past you and into your kitchen. "Look, I have all the necessities. We will get you through this. Because I for one, cannot stand the sight of Mayeol and I want to gouge my eyes out, and I need someone to do it with." 

"I don't understand how that has anything to do with me." You say, grabbing two spoons.

"Sehun is gone, he's so in love with those two, hes bordering being a psychopath, Jongdae and his wife are just tolerating, Suho, Kai and Kyungsoo are avoiding them like the plague and Minseok and Lay have been MIA, so you're my last hope, Y/N." 

"I really don't want to talk about him, Baek." You admit, the hole in your heart somehow feels larger than before. 

"That's fine, I'll stop, let's start a movie." He suggests, grabbing a random one out of his bag. 

And for the next few hours, that's all you guys did. You watched movies, making comments, laughing and you genuinely had a good time with him. It had been so long since you actually felt happy and you were grateful to Baekhyun for bringing at least a little joy back into your life. 

Until he left, and you were alone again. All the feelings came rushing back, except they hurt a little less this time. You didn't miss him quite as much. 

** 

The next day, at the same time, your doorbell rang again. You open the door, your eyes puffy and bloodshot and you see Baekhyun standing there again, a new flavor of ice cream in hand, a new kind of chocolate, and a new bag of movies. This time he said nothing to you, instead pushed his way past you and through the door, setting everything down on your living room table as he popped in the movie. You smiled to yourself before turning around to join him, it felt nice to be cared about, and the fact that he was going out of his way to do this for you, and make you feel better. You truly appreciated Baekhyun. 

As he sat there and watched the movie, you watched him. The way his eyes lit up at a part of the movie he enjoyed, the face he made when he took a bite of his ice cream, the wrinkle he had in his nose when there was a cheesy scene. You never truly noticed how handsome Baekhyun was until now. His distinct jawline, his large hands, his toned body, you briefly.. very briefly began to wonder how large his..

"No Y/N, no. Do not go there with your existing bestfriend." 

You quickly shake off the thought, moving your eyes to the TV screen, trying to focus. 

"How are you feeling today?" Baekhyun asks, sliding his phone back into his pants pocket. 

"A bit better, I guess." You answer. Before Baekhyun could say anything there was another knock at the door. "That's good." He smiles, standing up. "There are some people who wanna see you." He says, opening the door. 

Minseok, Suho and Kyungsoo file through the door, looking at you with pity as they all sit, surrounding you.  

"Hiiiii." Suho pouts, protruding his bottom lip. "How are we feeling today?" 

"Um, hi." You laugh. "I'm fine." 

"Oh good, so we can go." Kyungsoo pipes up, standing up and walking towards the door. 

"Sit." Minseok sighs, pointing back at the seat. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, shuffling back to his spot and flopping down. 

"She's fine, Chanyeol is fine, so why are we here? Everyone is fine." He groans. 

"Have you seen him? Is he fine?" You hesitantly ask. You weren't even sure if you wanted to know. 

"Oh he's more than fine." Kyungsoo groans. "He and Maya are all over each other all the time. It's honestly nauseating. Like I want to be able to eat my sandwich without hearing your girlfriend moan when you kiss her." He gags. 

You bite your bottom lip as you slowly nod your head, tears welling in your eyes. These were most definitely details you did not need to hear about your ex and the girl he cheated on you with. All the men whip their heads to look at you, who now had your head hanging low as your shoulders shaked. They all look back at Kyungsoo, with only one speaking up.  

"That's it." Baekhyun growls. "Kyungsoo, get out." He spits, pointing to the door. 

"What did I do?" Kyungsoo asks, innocently. Baekhyun rolls his eyes, looking at you, softly whimpering into the sleeves of your sweater. 

"Out. Now." Baekhyun says, giving him the middle finger before flinching as Kyungsoo stands up, whispering "Don't hurt me."

"Don't listen to him." Minseok sighs. "Kyungsoo has zero social cues, he also could not read a room if his life depended on it." 

As Kyungsoo opened the door to leave, in rushed Lay, who looked at the man leaving and just nodded his head, realizing he had probably said something rude and was asked to leave. It wasn't the first time and would not be the last either. 

"Y/N." Lay breathes. "How do you feel about tall, muscular men who sing?" He asks. 

"I do enjoy them. Why?" You ask. 

"I have a friend from the hospital.. I think you two would get along really well. He's in his third year of surgery residency and is looking to date. I may have shown him your picture and he instantly said yes." He tells you. 

You look around the room, Suho and Minseok are nodding enthusiastically, while Baekhyun sits with his arms crossed against his chest, and a pouty look on his face. 

"What do you think?" You ask Baekhyun. He looks up at you, his face softening immediately. 

"I uhh, it's up to you. Yanno, if you're into muscular, tall men.." he mumbles.

"You know what? Sure, yes, I will. Chanyeol and Maya are out there living their best lives while I'm sitting here sulking, mourning a love that clearly didn't mean as much to him. So yes I will go out with him." You announce, perking up already. "When?" 

"Tonight." Lay says. "More specifically, an hour." 

"I need to get ready." You smile, jumping from your seat to rush to your room. You slowly peak your head around the corner, softly smiling at your friends. "Thank you, you guys. You've all really helped me these last weeks. I greatly appreciate you all." You finish, heading back into your room to quickly throw yourself together. 

By the time you were done, you had 15 minutes to spare, and you were damn proud of what you accomplished in the last 45 minutes. You showered and shaved to become a hairless human from the eyelashes down, you managed to get the knots out of your hair and it looked in decent shape, as well as hide the semi-permanent redness of your eyes with a lot of makeup. You almost didn't recognize yourself in the mirror when you looked. You didn't see the heartbroken girl anymore, you saw someone confident, hot and worthy of a great love. 

Stepping out into the living room you blush at all the 'oohs and ahhs' from your friends. 

Except for Baekhyun. 

When you looked at him, his eyes shined and for some reason it made your heartbeat a little faster. You watched his eyes trail up and down your body, seemingly taking in every curve, every inch of you. When he notices you staring, he clears his throat and looks away. "You look prettyish." He mumbles as he walks away, there's a knock at the door. Baekhyun is the one to answer and looks up at the tall man. 

"You must be.." he begins, moving out of the way, letting the man walk in. 

"Hi." He smiles at you. "I'm Matthew." He says, holding out his hand. 

"Hi Matthew." You grin. "Y/N." You finish, introducing yourself. 

"It's really nice to meet you. You look phenomenal." He says, holding your hand up to spin you around. You can't help but let out a loud laugh as a blush spreads across your cheeks. 

"Thank you." You whisper. "Shall we?" 

He waves to Lay and everyone else before taking your arm in his and leading you out the door. You left three excited men behind you and one who felt annoyed but didn't quite know why. 

** 

You hadn't laughed so hard until tears rolled down your cheeks and you held your stomach for a very long time. You honestly were surprised at how much you and Matthew had in common. You both enjoyed the same type of music, food, and pastimes. You had yet to meet someone who loved the same authors as you, who enjoyed doing your favorite activities and who genuinely seemed like a great person but here he was, sitting right in front of you at this nice restaurant. 

"I have to admit something." Matthew begins. Your stomach drops as you feel like he's going to tell you he's married or has a girlfriend, something that's going to make you lose trust in men, again. 

"Go on." You say, forcing a smile before taking a sip of your drink. 

"I really like you." He grins. "It's insane, I have never met someone I had so much in common with until tonight." 

"I was just thinking the same thing." You laugh, feeling relieved at his confession. You liked Matthew, he seemed as though he would be good for you and treat you right, although you thought that Chanyeol would do the same and look how that turned out. 

Beep 

Beep 

Beep 

Matthew's pager beeps incessantly. He takes it from the waistband of his pants, checking the page and stands up abruptly. "I'm so sorry." He sighs. "I have to go, there was an accident and I'm needed in the OR." He explains. 

"Go." You say, waving your hands to emphasize. 

"I had a wonderful time Y/N, and I hope I get to see you again." He grins. He places down a few hundred bills on the table before kissing your hand, and with a wink he was off and your heart was pumping fast as red spreads across your cheeks. 

Oh boy. 

Your blush is still present as you walk through the door of your apartment. You see Baekhyun sitting on your couch with his arms crossed as he watches a show, not even acknowledging your presence. 

"Why are you still here?" You ask, tossing your purse on the chair. 

"I wanna hear all about Matthew." He mimics, rolling his eyes. "How was your date?" 

"It was really nice. We have a lot in common, which is strange. He seems really nice and we get along amazingly. He was paged into surgery so it ended early." You tell him. "So cool." 

"Oh wow, surgery huh?" Baekhyun says, nodding his head. "Did I tell you I'm auditioning for a band?" He smiles. 

"Are you really?" You ask, a little shocked. 

"Maybe." He says, clearing his throat, turning back to the show. 

You sit beside him, you dress riding up just a little to expose your thigh. You're focused on the show, barely realizing that Baekhyun has now rested his hand on your bare thigh, his thumb lightly rubbing the same spot. 

Why did you feel butterflies? Why was your pussy throbbing? It's probably just friendly, there's no way Baekhyun has feelings for you. 

Right?

As the show played on, your eyes became increasingly droopy, feeling the exhaustion and excitement of today finally catching up with you. Your eyes slowly close as you lean your head back onto the couch. 

You weren't sure when it happened, but you woke up, what you're assuming is a few hours later with your head on Baekhyun's lap while he gently rubbed your head, running his fingers through your hair. Your body shivered at the gentle sensation and you closed your eyes once again, feeling safe and happy as you dozed off. 

** 

When you woke up the next morning, you were laying on the couch, alone with a blanket draped over you. Your eyes searched your apartment and there was no sign of Baekhyun.  You had no idea when he had left but a part of you felt a little hurt that he left without saying goodbye to you. You rolled yourself off the couch and shuffled into your room, changing your clothes to something more comfortable. 

When you were done you made your way to the kitchen to find food when your front door opened. In walked Baekhyun with a large bag from your favorite food place. 

"You didn't." You grin. "It's so far away." 

"I did, and it was worth it to see the look on your face." He laughs, setting the bag down on the table. 

The two of you sit down, and have breakfast together and chat. You hadn't realized that Baekhyun actually had a lot in common with you as well. You didn't know why the two of you had never talked about these things but you felt like it was a crazy coincidence that two men match with you so well. Although you knew Baekhyun's feelings were strictly platonic, there was no way that he felt anything romantically for you. 

"I gotta go to work, but we'll hang out later, if you're up for it?" He asks, throwing his garbage away. 

"Of course." You smile. You look in his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes and you just want to melt. You liked Baekhyun, alot. Maybe it was just from how good he's been treating you lately, or maybe the feelings were real, you would never know because you were going to focus on changing your feelings for Baekhyun to feelings for Matthew, someone you knew you actually had a chance with. 

** 

Later that day you were doing some work on your computer for the company you work for, luckily you're able to do your work from home, giving you plenty of time to be free during the day for activities. You're brought out of your zone by a text from Matthew, asking you if you wanted to grab a late lunch around 2pm, and immediately your mood changed, and you happily replied that you would love to. 

At 1:50pm, you sat at the restaurant, a drink in front of you while you waited for Matthew. Seeing him walk through the door, your heart did a mini dance as he smiled at you, heading towards the table you had already gotten. 

"Hey there beautiful." He grins, sitting across from you. 

"Hi." You giggle. "How has your day been?" 

"Busy and stressful, but that's all been forgotten now that I have you in front of me." He says. You smile widely, burying your head in your hands. He was so sweet, and you didn't know how to react to it. After the two of you order, you're in the middle of a conversation about a movie you had each recently watched, when out of the corner of your eye, you notice someone familiar. You look over and at a table that was too close for your liking sat Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Maya. Your attitude, demeanour and mood completely changed when you noticed them. You could feel the tears welling in your eyes as you looked away. You look at Matthew who instantly looks concerned. 

"What's wrong? Did I say something?" He asks, leaning in closely to whisper to you. 

"T-that's my ex.. and the girl he chose over me, and his best friend who I'm still friends with." You whisper, nodding your head towards them.

Matthew discreetly looks over and notices the blonde man looking in your direction, pain in his eyes from the moment he saw you. 

"Look at me." Matthew whispers. You look up at him, trying to control the tears. "That boy is an idiot for giving you up. You are one in a million. You're smart, funny, beautiful, caring and an all around amazing person to be around. Don't give them anymore of your tears, princess. They don't deserve them, and you don't deserve to cry over them." He smiles. 

You sit up, taking a deep breath, smiling at the man across from you, staring at his beautiful smile. You glance over to the table and see Chanyeol staring at you, sadness in his eyes while Maya glares at you and Baekhyun, he stares at you with what seems like a look of anger. He glares in your direction, his face like stone and you had no idea what you did to make him so mad at you. 

"Would you like to go somewhere else?" Matthew asks. 

You nod your head, knowing you didn't want to be in the same restaurant as Mayeol, it was bad enough to have to be in the same city as them. Matthew grabs the check, escorting you out, his hand hovering over your backside as you walk out, the feeling of eyes watching you burning into your back as you exit the restaurant.  You and Matthew stand outside your door, and he smiles at you. "I'm sorry about the date." He sighs. 

"It wasn't your fault. If anything I should be sorry." You say. 

"You did nothing wrong." He tells you. "I have to get back to the hospital now, but I'll call you." He says, leaning down he presses his lips to yours quickly before pulling away and saying goodbye. 

You walk into your apartment, feeling a little confused. That didn't go how you imagined it at all. As you're trying to get out of your sundress, there's a knock at the door before someone walks in. You turn around and see Baekhyun standing there, watching you. 

"You looked pretty comfortable and intimate with what's his name." He blurts out, walking towards you. He stands closely behind you, you can feel his breath on your neck as he pulls down the zipper of your dress. 

"Yeah well you looked pretty comfortable with fucking Maya and Chanyeol." You retort, trying to storm away from him. Your dress slips off your body, landing on the floor. Baekhyun follows you, reaching out to grab your wrist. He spins you around to face him. He pulls your body closer to his. 

"What do you want?" He asks. You don't answer, your lips parted as you try to form a sentence. Baekhyun's eyes drop down to your lips. He licks his lips and sighs. You can feel his breath, so close to you, almost kissing you. "What do you want from me, Y/N?" He asks. 

Your heart is practically beating out of your chest. You look into his eyes, one word on the tip of your tongue. 

You. Just say it. You want him. Tell him. 

But you say nothing. 

Baekhyun sighs. "That's what I thought." He says,  moving away from you and picking up your dress from the floor. He hands it to you, leaning in to press his lips against your temple. "Call me when you know what you want." He says, walking away from you and out the door. 

What did that mean? Did he want you like you wanted him? Why couldn't you have just told him right then and there? 

You were scared. You were scared of rejection, you were scared he didn't mean it, maybe his feelings towards you weren't real. But then again, you would never know unless you talked to him. 

Later that night you laid in your bed, thinking about Baekhyun. You couldn't sleep, so you grabbed your purse and your keys, drive aimlessly around town. A little while later, you glance at the clock that reads 2am, you park your car and you pull out your phone and call him. You felt like you were going to vomit as the phone rang. 

"Hello?" A groggy voice answered. 

"You." You whisper through the speaker. "I want you."  

"Y/N." He breathes. 

"Open the door, Baekhyun." You whisper. 

You can hear him get out of bed and stomp towards the front door. He pulls it open and there you are, your phone pressed against your ear, wearing a nightshirt and shorts. 

"I want you." You say again, pulling the phone away from your ear. 

Baekhyun pulls you inside, slamming the door behind you before pinning you against the front door. 

"Fuck it." He groans, crashing his lips against yours, pulling your body in closer to his. His hands roaming your body as he slides his tongue into your mouth. His hands move under your shirt and up your torso, cupping a bare breast. He groans into the kiss as he pinches your hard nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He presses his crotch into your leg, allowing you to feel his hard cock pushing against his boxers. 

You reach your hand down, sliding it into his waistband, grabbing his cock and slowly pumping, making his knees buckle. 

"Fuck." He murmurs, breaking the kiss. He leans his head into your neck, placing small kisses as you stroke his cock. 

Suddenly he stands up straight, pulling your hand from inside his boxers. He grabs your hand and leads you to his bedroom. 

"Take off your clothes." He growls. 

You maintain eye contact as you slip your shirt off your body, dropping it to the floor and the shimmy off your shorts, letting them pool around your ankles. You stand there naked in front of Baekhyun who takes in every curve and crevasse of your body. 

"Get on the bed." He whispers. You move to the bed, slowly climbing on and laying on your back. 

"So fucking beautiful." He moans, crawling on top of you. "I just wanna be inside you." He whispers. You nod your head, giving him all the consent he needs. 

Baekhyun spits on his hand, pumping his cock. He lifts your legs over his shoulder before lining him up with your entrance. He pushes himself into you, stretching your pussy out, making you cry out loudly. 

It had been so long for you, you forgot what it felt like to be fucked. Your hands grip the bed sheets as Baekhyun slides his cock in and out of you slowly. 

"How do you want it, baby?" He asks, moving slowly still. 

"Faster." You moan. "Fuck me Baekhyun." 

His eyes become dark after hearing your words. His hands wrap around your ankles as he starts thrusting harder into you, the sound of skin slapping fills the room.

"Oh god." You cry out, your hands cupping your breasts, pinching your nipples as he pumps his cock into you. 

Baekhyun releases one of your legs, placing his thumb between your lips to rub your clit. He rubs in circles, making you clench around him. 

"Just like that." You cry out as you buck your hips. You knew you were going to cum soon, you hadn't had an orgasm since Chanyeol left. 

"Fuck." Baekhyun groans. 

"I'm gonna cum." You scream as he fucks you harder, and continues to rub you. 

Your orgasm hits you, making you scream out in pleasure, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you tighten around Baekhyun once again. 

He groans loudly, suddenly cumming, shooting his load inside of you, breathing heavily as he works through his orgasm. 

"Holy fuck." He sighs, pulling out of you. He lays next to you, and you snuggle into him, not caring about the mess, just being completely and utterly happy in the moment.

**

"So.." Baekhyun starts off the next morning, as you lay in his bed, tangled in his sheets. You have one leg and one arm sprawled across him as you snuggle in closer to him. "What about Matthew?" He asks.  

"I called him yesterday after you left, and I told him I didn't think things were going to work out, but I would like to remain friends." You explain. 

"And he was fine with that?" He asks. 

"He asked if there was someone else." You sigh. "I told him I wasn't sure, but I hoped and he wished me luck." 

"I didn't like you seeing him." Baekhyun admits. "It hurt but I felt like I couldn't do anything." He says. 

"Why?" You ask. 

"Because.. Chanyeol is my best friend and you were his." He tells you. 

"Chanyeol made his decision, and he chose Maya. I'm free to date whoever I want, and I want you." You whisper. 

"Oh baby girl." Baekhyun growls. "You have no idea what you do to me." He whispers, rolling over on top of you, pressing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him in closer to you, never having felt so wanted or loved. 

** 

It has been a few months of you and Baekhyun dating, and you've kept it under wraps for the most part, wanting to stay in your little bubble of happiness. But now your friends were getting suspicious and you felt like it was time to tell them. And what other perfect time to tell them then at a dinner party that everyone is attending. 

That night you and Baekhyun had brought a spinach and artichoke dip that you made together and it was the best thing ever. You told Jongdae and his wife the news first, and they were both extremely happy for the both of you. 

Next, Minseok, Suho, Kyungsoo, Kai and Lay were told and they were all happy for you two, except Lay who was disappointed that things didn't work with Matthew, but he was happy that you were happy. 

You all sat around the dinner table when Chanyeol, Sehun and Maya walked in. Things instantly got tense and quiet the minute they entered the room. They hadn't noticed you yet and you could feel the knots forming in your stomach. 

"Hey guys." Chanyeol smiled, looking around the room and then his eyes landed on you and his smile dropped. 

"Hi friends." Maya chirps up, not realizing you were there until Sehun pointed it out, quite loudly and rudely. 

"Why is she here?" He asks, nodding his head towards you. 

"Because she's our friend." Jongdae pipes up, glare at Sehun.

"It's just weird." Maya comments, sitting down at the table. You ball your hands into fists under the table. Baekhyun reaches under the table, grabbing your hand to calm you down, showing you he's there and has your back. 

"It's not weird, actually." Baekhyun pipes up. "What's weird is coming to a gathering when you know no one here likes you. That's weird." He says, looking at Maya. 

"Baek." Chanyeol sighs. "She's my girlfriend." He says, as if that's a good enough reason. 

"Okay." Baekhyun says. "And she's mine." He says, nodding towards you. "So tell your girl to show some respect." 

"You're what?" Chanyeol asks, staring at you and Baekhyun, not even acknowledging the fact that Maya is sitting there with her mouth open and offended. "You're dating my ex-girlfriend?" 

"I am." Baekhyun says, not caring about Chanyeol's reaction anymore. 

"You.. you can't do that." He says. 

"And why not?" Baekhyun wonders. "You left her. You chose that over this amazing woman. You have no right to be angry here. You broke her, tore her apart and I'm putting the pieces back together." 

"I don't want her here." Maya pouts. 

"And no one wants you here." You chime in. You were tired of her and she had only been here for a few minutes. 

"Chanyeol." She whines, nudging him but he's still not paying attention to her, only looking at you and Baekhyun. 

"So.. what did you guys bring?" Lay asks, nodding towards their dish.

"Buffalo chicken dip." Maya says, with a smile.

You burst out laughing, rolling your eyes. "You mean you're still making the recipe that Chanyeol and I made together?" You ask with a smile on your face. 

Maya's smile instantly drops, looking at you with disgust. "Chanyeol." She yells. 

"What?" He snaps, turning to look at her. 

"Do something." She whines. 

"You don't have to do anything, man. We're gonna go. Thanks for having us, Jongdae. It's been interesting." Baekhyun says. He looks at you and holds out his hand. "Ready?" He asks you. You smile at him, taking his hand and walking out, hand in hand with the man who made you the happiest you've been. 

** 

A few days later you're in your apartment, singing and dancing as you clean up the place. You no longer missed Chanyeol, his name no longer brought pain to your heart, seeing things that reminded you of him no longer made you cry. You had Baekhyun now, and he treated you like a queen. 

You're walking past your front door when you hear a faint knock. You open it slightly and see an exhausted looking Chanyeol standing on the other side. 

"Can we talk?" He asks. 

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, but you decided to be nice and let him in. 

"What?" You ask, sitting on your couch as he stands in front of you. 

"I fucked up." He blurts out. "I should have never chosen Maya over you. I didn't realize what I was doing at the time, Y/N, please forgive me. I miss you. I miss us. We were great together." He breathes. 

You're shocked. You had spent weeks crying over him, wishing for him to come to you and say these words to you but now it was too late. 

"You're a little too late now." You say to him.

"I know you're with Baekhyun, but I had you first." He says. 

You scoff at him. "How dare you? How could you come here months after you left me for Maya and beg for me back when I'm finally happy again? It took a long time for me to be okay. Baekhyun has been there for me, he was the one who helped put me back together. You chose Maya. You made your bed." You yell. "Get out Chanyeol." 

"Y/N please." He begs. 

"No, you need to leave. I don't want you. I don't love you anymore." You tell him.

Chanyeol walks out the door, looking back at you with tears in his eyes. You felt no remorse for him. You had felt the way he was feeling, it was his own fault and you refused to be torn apart by him  again. Chanyeol was now your past, and Baekhyun was your future and you couldn't be happier about it. 

[buckyjamess-archive]

𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

chapter seventeen • a/n: thank the sudden burst of inspiration for these chapters coming out so fast. Feedback is appreciated! • wordcount: 1.5k+ • warnings: kids, parenthood, nothing more?

summary

going through  rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

masterlist

F O U R M O N T H S L A T E R

"I'm running a little late today, so I won't be home in time but I asked Steve to be there to open up–" a heavy sigh "for the love of god, try to be nice buck, that's all I'm asking, okay? Also, can you let me know if you're staying for dinner so I can pick up something extra on my way back– thank you. Okay..bye, love you." 

love you. Bucky never expected to keep hearing those words falling from your lips but he does– after every call, every voicemail, every goodbye and see you soon. It makes him smile yet he doesn't deserve those two words. 

you had assured him that morning after that you would always love him no matter what; that he's still the father of yet another gift in your life. The best months of your life after a shit show of years prior– you'd always love Bucky even if he broke your heart in a million pieces, he seemed to be the only one to put it back together..or steve. Steve did a pretty good job of glueing shattered parts of your heart back together.

It angered bucky. Coincidentally; Steve rogers marriage came to an end not two weeks after you'd moved into your own little place with the kids and for a split second Bucky had wondered if nothing ever happened between you and Steve during the time he suspected something. But he believed you. Nothing had happened, never and though Bucky still had to get used to Steve being around more and more each day, he knew he could trust the blonde. 

You seem happy with Steve and unlike you and him, things between Steve went slow, taking time. No moving in three weeks after or by each other's side everyday and you certainly didn't let the man straight into Rosie and JJ's life.

A break..of sorts and maybe he'd gotten his hopes up and believed it actually could get better with time; get back together and be that little family again but as time passed by, it became all too clear– you really didn't plan on getting with him again and Bucky couldn't even blame you.

But you still let him into your life, let him be a part of your life. A part of Rosie's life..of JJ. You let Rosie stay with him whenever she wanted to, let her stay the night or a couple of days until the girl wanted to get back home again. Got to see his son nearly everyday and have him all weekends. 'I'd never take away your kids, buck'

Invitations to stay for dinner or spend the evening or to tag along with one of your day outs– all too eager to spend all the time he could with what once was his family,  even if it meant spending time with Steve.

You still took care of bucky, you still loved bucky because the man who broke your heart made you believe in love again, pulled you out of your shell after years of wanting to be alone. Took care of you during your darkest days, stayed by your side when you needed him the most. Gave Rosie a father figure she never had the opportunity to get, gave you another little soul to take care of. Bucky Barnes stole, bruised and broke your heart and till this day manages to glue it back together. 

It took you a while to forgive him, you're still not sure if you actually have. With the loan you got from your new part time job at the store around the corner, you managed to get yourself a small two bedroom apartment not too far away from bucky– following most classes from your new study online and still being able to be there for your babies; if you were being honest, life was good. 

The family wilson being back in your life being the icing on the cake. Sam being to eager to apologise for everything he'd said and done although 'I told you so'– first flight to Brooklyn and before you knew it the family stood in your apartment, unpacked boxes and painted rooms as if their lives depended on it; be there for you like they were after riley– family. Hailey even spent the better part of her summer in Brooklyn by your side to catch up while in all honesty, she got tired of her dad and needed some time alone.

Life was surprisingly good after everything.

"Dad?" 

Snapping out of his daydream, Bucky looks up and meets the eyes of the little girl in the rear view mirror. The braid bucky had managed to braid that morning an untangled mess, hanging from her shoulder. Left overs of a chocolate cookie still visible on the corner of her mouth. Yellow shirt covered in dirt, paint and what else she'd been playing in and with at school.

Bucky hums and types a quick text to you, telling you he'd stay over for dinner "What's up?" 

"Can alpine come with me sometime?" Rosie asks seriously, a hint of hope in her voice. 

"I wish he could sweetheart but mom's not allowed to have any pets," Bucky chuckles "He misses mommy, right?" 

"I don't know, he can't talk silly." 

"Really then why does alpine talk to me every night?" Bucky quips back "he tells me how you steal the last cookies from the cookie jar." 

"That was JJ– when are mommy, me and JJ coming back home, I want my own bedroom again." 

Bucky clears his throat and quickly gazes to the little boy fast asleep in his carpet on the backseat and back to Rosie, Bucky swallows the lump in his throat. 

You tried to explain it all but the 4 year old never seemed to be able to understand any of it; the two times Christmas, two birthdays not working.

"I don't know princess," Bucky admits "whenever mommy is ready." 

which is never

Heavy footsteps echo against the grey stone walls of the short hallway,  doors with small white numbers glued onto the wood– Steve isn't much taller or shorter, maybe a bit broader but nothing to be afraid of and yet bucky finds himself tiny next to the man, intimidated to say the least- black leather jacket over a simple grey shirt clung around his biceps, long legs...intimidating but with the softest facial features, christ bucky didn't have any reason to feel this way around someone You deemed important. 

If anything, Steve was as awkward as him.

Twirling around the hallway, her pink and purple colored bag bouncing up and down her back and her messy braid flying through the air, Rosie stills at the sight of the men walking their way 

"You're late." 

"I know, kid," Steve chuckles lowly "tried to be faster." 

"Well, you should be faster next time." Rosie simply states. 

Steve nods his head towards bucky with a slight smile which bucky returns and without another word, Steve twirls the keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door with the faint 9 on it. 

Rosie storms in, nearly tripping over her own feet as she pulls her backpack off and throws it in the corner with all other shoes, bags and umbrellas. 

The man nods again as Bucky pushes the stroller with JJ through the door. The familiar smell of you lingering in the air and fills his nostrils. He ignores the footsteps behind him. Bucky pushes his son further into the kitchen where he picks JJ out and sets the little man on the floor. Bucky's not even able to say another word, his son zooming off on all fours, going straight to the box filled with toys near the couch in the living room. 

"I was told to hand you the keys." Bucky's eyes shoot up to Steve, your keys dangling between his thumb and index finger– Steve clears his throat. 

Casually folding the stroller back before standing up straight, bucky nods and holds his hand out. 

Your keys, not Steve's. Great, he's not at that base yet.

"y/n asked if you wanted to bathe the kids," Steve clears his throat once again and shifts his weight from one foot to the other "so she can start with dinner when she's back." 

"Yeah, sure." Bucky mumbles almost inaudibly, calm and collected, through his stomach drops as Steve nods and strides his way to your bedroom and comes back out with a black overnight bag hanging from his shoulder; rogers printed on the fabric. 

so, he's at that base already

"So, yeah– I should head back out. Work and all." Steve breathes out a laugh. 

Placing both hands on his sides, Steve looks back to the living room where Rosie and JJ crawled and played around the coffee table. 

"Bye rosie," Steve waves awkwardly and with no answer back, he looks back at bucky with a slight smile and nervous chuckle "kids, right." 

"Yeah," Bucky deadpans, not batting an eye at the men in front of him "kids." 

Bucky doesn't have the right to feel jealous, he screwed things up and not you but he still loves you with all his heart and he'll be damned if he didn't at least try to gain back your trust and maybe even woo you back in his life– Steve stands in the way of just that.

Taglist: @farfromshawn @Nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth @winterberryfox @ahahafudge @okiegirl24 @0moondoodler0 @why-wait-4-eventually

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Journal // George Weasley x Reader

I LOVED THIS REQUEST FROM @rainy-day-gracie OMGGGG it was SO fun to write.

Don't forget that request are open and dialogue prompts are on my page!

Summary - Reader loses her diary and has to go on a search for it.

Word Count - 1.75k

Prompts - "When did you take that!" ~~ "I hid it."

Where was it?

WHERE WAS IT?

Now, I didn't like to refer to my personal notes as a diary, I prefer journal. But the point is, it was missing.

Missing from the small compartment under my bed where I had hid it. Not that I expected anyone to take it, but it calmed my anxiety so I did what I could.

The journal looked just like my sketch book, I did this on purpose so that people wouldn't question why I had it out and was writing in it on occasion. They would just think I'm sketching per usual. But I made sure to keep good track of it, because I truly *did* have very personal information in there, like any journal would. So at this point, I'm frantically running around asking my dorm mates if they had seen it. First asking Hermione and Parvarti because they knew of the book. Then asking Ginny Weasley and Sophie Roper.

They had all claimed to have not seen it.

So I rushed down to the common room. Checking the side tables, under the couch, on the fireplace mantle. But it was useless, I *know* I closed it in the compartment 2 days ago. I remember it distinctly because I had written a rather private thing in it that day, and I wanted to stop thinking about how it made me feel.

*Potions, one of my least favorite classes for a few reasons. (Maybe because we had it with the snooty Slytherins or maybe because Severus Snape taught the wretched class, who's to say.) But there was one thing that made the class shine for me despite the things I hated about it.*

*George Weasley.*

*Somehow we had managed to be partners for this potion by random. Much to Snapes disliking. But he had to let it go since the picking was truly random.*

*"Today we will be making the Babbling Beverage, does anyone know what this potion does?" Snape asked in his usual monotone voice. A slytherins hand shot up from the back, explaining that it makes you speak uncontrollable nonsense. George leaned across the table to me.*

*"Guess it wouldn't change much for you then, huh?" He laughed, leaning back into his seat with a shit-eating grin.*

*And that's what sparked me to write in my journal. I felt I had to do it immediately, so I did. I whipped it from my bag and held it in my left hand, not laying it on the table where he could see.*

*"What are you writing?" He asked, trying to peak at it.*

*"I'm drawing you Bimbo!" I laughed but that's not even close to what I was doing.*

**I really thought this was only the stuff you could read about, this feeling. A laugh has never brought louder music to my ears, and that smile, I feel like I've never seen him smile like that. He never fails to bring a shining moment to my day. I hope that I make him feel this way sometimes. The tightness in my chest, the way my heart feels like it's having palpitations because its beating so damn fast. Or the way I think he's just so perfect. I sound like such a teenager gosh.**

*I never used names in the thing just in case someone ever got a hold of it.*

*"Why don't you ever let me see your drawings?" He pouted, grabbing at the book and nearly having a hold of it. I snatched it from him quickly.*

*"Because I'm still learning and I don't like them very much." I lied, holding the book to my chest.*

*"I bet they look fine." He muttered with another pout before going to grab ingredients.*

After I decided there was no use in panicking, I took some deep breaths. I had to get to Potions soon, I could talk to George about this and vent to him about the stress I was under at the moment. I grabbed my Potions book from my side table and headed that way.

To keep me distracted by what I felt like were prying eyes in the corridors, (which no one was probably looking at me, that's paranoia for you) I flipped through my sketch book. I flipped through it all the way to the potions door. But one step in and I had nearly dropped it.

George sat, tipping his chair back with what I was positive was *my* journal. He looked deep in thought, his right index finger dragging down one of the pages to read it. I recovered my sketches and stomped over to him, alerting him of my presence. He stood from the seat, holding the book from my reach.

"When did you take that?!" I tried to express my concern quietly so no one would but in on the convo, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Technically I didn't take it." He replied in a cocky manner. "Sophie got it for me."

"But I hid it! That damn girl, I knew she was being suspicious. Give it back, now Weasley, I'm not playing." I held my hand out for it.

"Not until you tell me who you fancy." My face paled, he had read some of it that little snot. That made me quite scared, I did not want him knowing that.

"George it's just ramblings that I come up with, like short stories."

"These sound pretty realistic to me." For a second there his face seemed hurt, but I will have to look over it considering the situation I'm in currently. He brought it to his eye level, still to where I couldn't reach it, and flipped through pages to find one where I write something lovey. "How about, 'He made me laugh so hard I nearly choked today, how does he do it? Do girls seriously not see the charm in this man? I sure do.'" He flipped more, reaching a sufficient page clearly.

"Or, or this one. 'I like him so much I want to be part of his family. Have you ever liked someone so much you *want* to meet their family. I want to be a Weasley-'"

You've got to be kidding. You've **got** to be kidding.

I must have gotten so caught up with writing it that I just let a name slip. Why would I do that. My hand was clasped over my mouth firmly and George was still holding it eye level, seeming to read it silently. I sat in my seat and put my head on the table so I didn't have to watch anymore.

I figured this would happen this way, it wouldn't be me directly telling him. But I thought I would cry, because the thought if it happening made me cry. But I was actually just scared and embarrassed. Scared of rejection and embarrassed that it happened like this.

I heard the book lay next to me softly on the table and the seat across from me scoot out.

"I'm going to get the ingredients for today." He said quietly. I could see his feet walk away from my view under the table. My head was brought up, grabbing the journal and shoving it into my bag shamefully. He came back with small jars and measuring spoons.

"I didn't mean for her to grab your diary you know." He confessed, not looking me in the eye. "I was trying to get her to grab your sketch book. I wanted to see your sketches. But I'm guessing the books look the same so she grabbed the wrong one. I'm sorry for reading it, that was personal." He was fiddling with his hands, his key sign of nervousness, I could tell he meant his apology.

"Its okay, I would have done the same thing if I had yours." I chuckled, trying to relieve the tension in the air. That brought a smile to his face, finally looking me in the eye.

"So, do you have a crush on Fred?" He asked, his face cringing slightly.

He's kidding right? Surely he's not that dumb. My eyebrows furrowed probably as far as they could.

"What?" Was all I could get out. I could not believe this idiot right now.

"Well I hope it's not Ron, that would be a little weird I think, and surely it's not me."

"Yes it is!" I protested back pressingly.

"Its Ron?!" His face was horrified now.

"No you dimwit! It's you! Merlin are you dumb! Georgie you're all I write about in here nearly, look." I pulled the book out again, flipping to a random page. "I taught him how to braid today, he told me he didn't know how and I told him I was perfect to practice on. He's actually quite good at it, I think he knew how to braid. For a moment there he was just playing with my hair and I thought that I might just blackout, it was a dream." It was from a night in the common room. "Or, more proof. 'The boy was sitting across from me on the couch in front of the fireplace today. It was perfect to draw, or at least try. The sketch is kind if shit but I can tell its him and now it think I'll look at it every day because I loved that moment.'"

George's face looked so happy. It was another one of those smiles that drove me mad, but I guess everything about him drove me mad, didn't it?

"You really feel that way about me?"

"Of course I do. I thought it was obvious. And I'm sorry to spring it on you like this."

"Well I certainly was too much of a wuss to do it myself." He said with a nervous smile.

"You mean, you feel the same way?" There's absolutely no way.

"Well of course." He said, as if it was the most casual and obvious thing in the world. "Do you see me act the way I do around you with anyone else. Braiding anyone else's hair, trying to stay calm and collected and seem cool around anyone else."

"Well that's because we're best friends."

"But is that the case for either of us?" And he was right. We only acted this way around eachother because we were hopelessly pining for one another, without even knowing it. And it was consistently working.

"Well aren't we just the perfect pair." I said with a giggle, pouring ingredients in the cauldron for the first time in 10 minutes.

"Are we a pair now?" He asked with a cheesy smile.

"Is this your way of asking me out Weasley?"

"Maybe."

"Then yes, we *are* a pair."

[thisfoolwrites]

My Altair (3)

And here’s part 3! Sorry for the long wait, I just worked 6 days in a row and retail is hell when the word snow is uttered on the news! Enjoy and thank you all again for the likes! Also sorry if you notice the name Hana or any descriptions. I try to get them all but I miss some sometimes. 

Warnings: None for this chapter

Genre: Angst to fluff

Part 2

The last day of the camp Kuroo decided that he had had enough. He watched as {Y/N} laughed and smiled with the rowdy Karasuno boys. They had been friends for ten years, and now she wouldn't even speak to him. He waited till the {H/C} girl had gone to get water for her team. He followed her earning confused looks from his team. Kenma stared at the spot where the captain once stood. 'This is not going to end well.' he thought.

“{Y/N},” Kuroo called running after her. Hearing her name her blood ran cold. Two weeks she had gone without this confrontation. It couldn't be avoided forever. She turned and looked at him with cold eyes. The taller male gulped. She had never looked at him like that before. “We need to talk, don't you think?” he all but demanded. {E/C} eyes narrowed in anger.

“And if I say no?” She challenged, voice as monotone as she could make it. “Honestly Kuroo, you are-”

“Kuroo?” He cut her off. “You have always called me Tetsu, or Tetsuro when you're mad. Since when was I demoted to Kuroo?” He couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice. It almost caused {Y/N}'s resolve to break.

“Since you told your girlfriend that I was nothing more than a sister to you.” His eyes widened in shock. She heard that?

“Thats not what I meant.” He stuttered with his words. “She was asking all these questions on why I was so close to you and-”

“So you chose to lie rather than to tell the truth? Even after all this time you are still choosing to keep that summer  a secret? God, for being so smart, you're so god damn dumb Kuroo!” She began to raise her voice but quickly calmed down, knowing that everyone would be able to hear her yelling.

“That's what this is about? You agreed to keep it quiet, not just me {Y/N}!” He argued.

“You didn't give me much of a choice.” Her voice was shaking at this point. Her eyes glistened with tears once again, everything about that night was coming back to her. She locked eyes with Kuroo, causing the male shrink back. “I never wanted to be a secret. I just wanted to be with you.” Her voice got quieter with each word she spoke. She turned away and began to walk away to fill up the water bottles again.

“I'm done with this conversation. Go back to the team.” She waved him off. Watching her disappear down the hall he was left to wonder, how long had she been holding in these feelings. Walking back to the gym he was met with the curious eyes of his team, and a scrutinizing glare from Fukurodani's captain. Did Bokuto know something that he didn't in regards to his best friend? No, he supposed he didn't have that title anymore. Watching the older Kozume walk back in with a fake smile on her face he realized, he hadn't had that title since last summer. Knowing that he had lost someone who was always there, hurt more than he had imagined.

Later on at the barbecue, Kenma kept sneaking glances at his sister and then back to Kuroo. Even though they were acting like everything was ok, he knew that whatever they had talked about built a bigger rift between the two. He put his attention back to his game and began to wonder if things were ever going to go back to normal. He was interrupted from his thoughts by a plate of food being put in his face. He looked up to the {E/C} eyes of his sister, who had a soft smile on her face.

“Here, eat.” She pleaded sitting next to him, a plate of food for her as well. He paused the game taking the plate, while looking at her.

“Are you ok?” he questioned. “When you came back from talking with Kuroo your eyes were misty, like you had been crying. What happened between the two of you?” She looked down at her feet before ruffling his hair.

“I'm not ok, but I will be don't worry.” She gave him a small smile. As she went back to eating Kenma figured that she was not going to answer his other question. Looking over at where Hinata was talking to Kuroo and Bokuto, he noticed that Bokuto was glancing over at his sister every once in a while. He figured that it was to make sure she was doing ok. He had been the one to deal with drunk {Y/N} after all. He was drug out of his thoughts by his sister once again.

“Anyway, I'm gonna go save Yachi from the crowd. Eat Kenma.” He watched her interact with the young manager, her smile wasn't forced like when she had returned earlier. Yachi bowed to her in thanks, but {Y/N} just waved her off. It was then he realized, that she hadn't been ok for a while.

It was later in the evening and the boys were packing up their belongings getting ready to leave. The rest of the Nekoma boys had headed down to the bus, leaving Kuroo and Kenma to grab their things. Kenma turned to his friend and saw the dejected look on his face. In the group setting he could laugh and pretend that he wasn't hurt, but with just Kenma he let his guard down. Kuroo saw Kenma looking at him and sighed.

“She’s done with me officially. I don't think I can fix this anymore Kenma.” The younger boys eyes widened. He wasn't expecting Kuroo to actually tell him. “I broke her trust then lied to Akemi about who she was to me because I wanted to be selfish. She heard me say she was only a sister to me, but that wasn't true at all. She was more, but I was too scared about what people would say to do anything about it. I broke her, and it hurts to know I can't help her.” Kuroo quickly wiped the tears that came down his cheeks. Kenma was shocked, he had never really seen the taller male cry before, but was even more shocked at his words.

Kenma wasn't blind to what happened last summer, but he never wanted to bring it up for fear that a fight would happen. He sighed and gave Kuroo a pat on the back before grabbing his bag and heading towards the door. Kuroo turned to look at him, slinging his own bag on his shoulder.

“For the record, the team was rooting for you two.” Hazel orbs widened, “We all thought you'd end up together. Give her more time. You might not get her the way you want to, but I believe you can be friends again.” He continued while walking out the door. He rushed out the door to follow Kenma down to the bus. Not today, but one day he would make this right. As the two boys got down there he saw Bokuto and {Y/N} standing together laughing. Kuroo realized that even though he broke her, Bokuto would fix her. He gave the two a small smile before getting on the bus.

{Y/N} smiled at the owl haired man before her. He was pouting because he wouldn't be able to see her for a while. He complained that he barely got to spend time with her, even though she had pointed out that it was a volleyball training camp.

“You do know you have my phone number right?” She asked the taller man. This just caused him to pout more, in turn causing her to laugh harder. Bokuto perked up at the sound. He loved the melodic sound and it made him smile a bit, but he went back to pouting to keep the ruse going.

“Its not the same as seeing you in person you know.” He grumbled turning his face away. If she had seen the blush on his face he'd never live it down. She glanced up at him one final time after hearing the coaches call for the students.

“Hey Bo,” she began getting his attention back on her, “When you qualify for nationals, I'll take you out to for yakiniku.” She said with a bright smile on her face. The blush came right back to his face, but he noticed that she had one as well. He returned the smile with a bigger one of his own. Without even thinking he pulled the smaller girl into a hug. It startled the girl before she relaxed and hugged him back.

“I'd like that.” He whispered in her ear before letting her go. They both headed to their own buses with smiles. Once she got on the bus she took her spot next to Kenma, humming a small tune. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. He saw her content face and small smile. She was happy. He turned and locked eyes with Kuroo, who also noticed the change in the girl. It broke his heart to know that someone else was taking his place, but it was all his fault. Pulling out his phone he sent a quick text before shutting it off.

Kuroo: Take care of her. Don't make her cry like I did.

Taglist: @samkysnks​ @aurorahoneybuns​

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Dangerous Love (Pt. 06 of 13)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne (Batman) X Harley Quinn's sister!Reader

Summary: You're Harley Quinn's sister, Havoc, one of the many villain's of Gotham. But you've been caught, and has been tortured constantly for an year in Belle Reve. But when your think your life can't be anything else than the nightmare you find yourself into, Bruce Wayne, the Batman, takes you in for a project. He has a program to rehabilitate villains, and you're his lab rat. But soon enough confusing feelings start getting in the way. You know falling for Bruce is stupid. But can you keep your heart under control?

Word count: 2.5K

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{Justice League - DC Masterlist}

×

Dance With Me

Bruce kept his promise and brought you a TV. He also streamed the first season of Game Of Thrones before giving you the second book, and the old deal remains. You'll watch the second season when you're done with the book. But you don't mind. They did leave a lot out of the TV show, and you want to know everything that happens. He even stayed to watch some of the episodes with you. You cried when one of the characters died. You and Bruce have the same favorite characters. Daenerys, Jon, Arya, and Tyrion. And you love to talk about it with Bruce.

The week goes by quickly, and now you have a digital clock too, so you'll know which time and day it is. And that's how you know your birthday is coming.

Today is Saturday, and Bruce is hosting a party. You can see many people down in the garden already, making things ready.

“Alfred will bring you dinner tonight.” Bruce reminds you, as you eat lunch. “But I'll come tomorrow.”

“I'll forgive you if you promise to have fun today. For both of us.” It's so damn hard not to think about that blonde woman. “Try to dance a little.”

“I will.”

He stays for a little longer until he has to go.

In the next following hours, you focus on the book. The noise gets louder, and the music starts playing as soon as the night falls. You also take a shower, long and warm, washing your hair. Patiently, you dry and brush it, struggling with your thoughts. Then you try reading again, but you can't seem to focus.

That woman is down there, and the image of her and Bruce dancing fills your head, like torture. Her beautiful blonde hair, kind eyes... She will pull him close, and he won't resist her touch. Why would he?

He will pull her against his chest, and what you can only dream about, she will feel it. How lucky she is.

You go to the window, a knot on my throat. Why do you want to cry? Why do you feel so terribly sad over a freaking scenario you just imagined?

“Because it'll probably happen...” You tell yourself.

And if not her, with some other girl. Looking through the window, you see the pretty lights on the garden, and some people, smiling, talking... A soft music start playing, and you see as some couples get together, slow dancing.

Smiling, you close your eyes as you step away from the window, resting your back against the wall.

You imagine yourself down there, among the people, and they don't bother you. You're comfortable, wearing one of those pretty dresses. You're not a villain, you're a normal woman, someone people won't be afraid of... Someone Bruce could love. You would walk around the house, the gardens, and you finally get to see all of it. And then, you'd find Bruce...

Opening your eyes again, you walk to the bathroom to wash your face. Wash away the tears. What is going on with you? You can't let this happen. Not with Bruce. You've never been through this, you never needed or wanted someone so bad. It's weird. You don't want this to be love, you can't let this be love. Punching the sink, you ignore the pain that spreads through your fist.

“Remember who you are,” you tell the girl in the mirror. “Remember who you are.”

But it doesn't work. Who you are, or who you were, is a distant memory. He's succeeding, Bruce is changing you, he's making you see who you are behind the villain mask you had on. And you don't think you can go back there. You don't want to... You want him...

You're crazy. Now you're finally going crazy. Bruce won't like you. And you can't expect him to. You can't want him to. A loud laugh coming from the garden gets your attention, and you run back to the window. You can see a couple, happy, in each other's arms. You envy them... You won't ever have anything like that.

When the door clicks, you dry off the stubborn tears that came rolling down again. “Alfred, tell Bruce everything is beautiful.” You say, trying to keep your voice steady.

“It's me.”

Your heart skips a beat as you turn around, seeing Bruce by the door. He looks amazing in his tuxedo, so handsome. You step forward abruptly, an impulse, ready to run into his arms, but you manage to control yourself, biting your lip to hold back a smile.

“Hi.” It's all you manage to say.

“Why do you always keep the lights off?” He inquires.

“I'm just used to it, I guess... I... I tried to read, then I tried to sleep, so...” Walking away from the window, you move closer to where he's standing.

“I'm sorry if the noise is disturbing you.”

It's not the noise that's keeping you awake, it's him, and all the things you shouldn't be feeling. “That's not it. I don't sleep too much, remember?” Taking a deep breath, you avoid his gaze. You must look so bad, in your black tank top and sweatpants... The girls down there look so beautiful... “What-what are you doing here? The party seems to be going very well.” You gesture at the window, the only sight you have of outside.

“It's considered polite for the host to dance with the single ladies.” He reaches out his hand, and you wonder what it means.

“I... I'm not at the party...” His hand doesn't move, so slowly, very slowly, you take it.

“You're here. That's what matters.”

“I don't know how to, remember? I don't–”

“Relax, (Y/N).” Bruce pulls you close, wrapping his arms around your waist. It feels like a drug, inebriating. “Just follow my pace.”

Why is he doing this? Why does he care enough to come here instead of focusing on the party he's hosting? Bruce will be the one to drive you crazy.

You start moving, from side to side, following the rhythm of the soft song playing down there. The distance he first put in between your bodies disappears as you move until you're very, very close.

“You... Why did you come here? I-I mean... Don't you have enough girls down there? To dance with? You shouldn't lose your time with me.” You whisper, stuttering. Hesitantly, you look up, meeting his eyes. It's breathtaking.

“Thought you would like a dance.” He keeps his voice low as if the didn't want to disturb the darkness. “Was I wrong?”

“No.” You burst out, too fast. Suddenly, you decide to tiptoe. “This is how I'd be like if I were wearing high heels. And you can pretend I'm wearing a pretty, long dress.” Smiling, you notice your face is closer to his now. His lips get your attention, so you close your eyes.

“You're beautiful, just like this.” His voice is so low that it's hard to hear it. But does he really mean it? Can he find you pretty in such simple clothes? “Sorry I can't take you to the actual party.”

“It's alright. I... I wouldn't feel comfortable, I think... Among the people.” Bruce moves your arms, from where they were laying, on his biceps, to be around his neck.

It's hard not to look at him, but you feel that if you do, you won't be able to control yourself. “I would be by your side the whole time.”

“But what about that... That woman I saw...”

You're begging yourself not to do this. Not to ask something that will make you feel bad to know the answer. But you need to. “Wouldn't she... Wouldn't she want to have you too? I know you're just saying that to make me feel better, I... I shouldn't even be saying that. Just ignore it.” That's embarrassing. Good thing he won't see you blush in the dark.

“Angela is an old friend,” Bruce says, taking your hand and pushing you away in a smooth motion. You've seen this move in some movie, and you're happy to know what to do. You step away for a moment, and then, you spin around, back to his arms. But you miscalculated the movement, so you end up with your back against his chest.

“Sorry.” You quickly say, but before you can turn around, Bruce softly holds you there, swinging to the song. His arms are like a cage, but a good kind of cage... One that makes you feel safe. You feel his breath on your hair, and how his chest moves as he breaths.

“Relax, it's alright.” You close your eyes to hear his voice. “And don't worry about Angela. She's married.”

“Oh... That's good. For her. That's good for her.” You hate how you're always so damn nervous around Bruce. He probably thinks you're stupid.

“I guess it is.” He spins you around again, as the song ends, and pulls you close, strong arms encircling your waist.

Taking a deep breath, you gather all the courage you have to tiptoe again. Your faces are only a few inches away, despite the height difference. He'd have to bend down a little to kiss you. Would he want to kiss you? Would he even consider it? Your stomach feels funny, like butterflies. A hand comes to touch his face, your fingers caressing his skin. You're about to pull him, to end the last inch separating you when you hear someone saying his name out there.

Freezing, you step down, catching your breath. Bruce is breathing fast too, but you're not sure why. “I have to go.”

“Sure.” Smiling, you nod. “Go get them, Batman.”

“Thank you for the dance.” Bruce doesn't let go of your hand, but eventually, he moves away. You can only watch as his fingers let go of yours.

Then, you're all alone again. You're waiting for the familiar click that separates you from Bruce, but it doesn't come. Letting yourself fall on the bed, you cover your face with both hands. You're going mad. Would you really kiss him? What would you do when he pushed you away? You need to take these thoughts out of your head. So you hide under the blankets, eyes closed, trying to sleep. Sleeping is the only way to stop thinking, and right now, the nightmares are the least of your worries.

•••

You're staring at the digital clock. 4 a.m. The party ended two hours ago, and the house is silent. Your head keeps going back to what happened earlier. The dance, and the kiss that almost happened... You're tired of thinking about it, you need to stop. You're caught between trying to understand what's going on and trying to ignore it. To forget it.

But there you go again, replaying everything... Even in the very end, how it seemed like he didn't want to let go of your hand... And then... The click of the lock...

The click that didn't happen.

The door is open.

You jump up, running to the door. Hesitantly, slowly, you turn the handle. And you were right. It's open. A rush of adrenaline sets you in motion, and you swing the door open, running through the hall, to the stairs, and to the first floor. You don't know where you're going, you don't even remember where you went when you first tried to run. You know the front door will be locked, so you run straight past it. You end up in the kitchen, just as you did on your first day here. Your attention is caught by the window above the sink, and in your rush, you try to push it open, but it doesn't move.

You can actually go now. Nobody knows you're here. Taking the blender that's on the kitchen counter, you throw it against the glass until it breaks. You need to move fast now because the noise might wake up Bruce. Climbing on the sink, you use your hand to remove the last bits of glass of the way out...

Bruce...

You made a promise to him. And you know that, if you go on with this, there are chances that you'll end up back in Belle Reve. And Bruce would be sad... Right? You remember how it felt to be so close to him earlier today. His arms holding you... He touches you like no one else did. He's not disgusted... That's probably just Bruce being kind... But even so, you can't do it.

You're looking outside, to the rock path you'd have to take to get to the gates. Slowly, you step down the sink, a sharp pain on your left hand. Looking down, you see a cut in the palm. Taking a deep breath, you start making your way back to your room. On your way out of the kitchen, you see Alfred coming from the hall. He stares at you, wide eyes.

“Sorry for the glass,” you mutter before running upstairs again.

You close the door behind your back, crawling to the bed. You leave the bleeding hand hanging off so the blood won't stain the sheets. You shouldn't have done that. It happened so fast, your body just moved. You just had to get out of the room, and running felt so good. It doesn't take much time for the door to open, and you know it's Bruce. He turns the lights on, and soon you feel the mattress moving when he sits on the bed, but you can't even look at him, so you keep your eyes on the wall.

“I saw you in the kitchen.” He says, his voice soft. Why isn't he mad?

“Hiding in the shadows?” You can feel his eyes on you.

“Something like it.” Bruce takes your hand, and you hear him opening something. The first aid kit, probably. You feel as he starts cleaning the cut.

“Aren't you mad? Or disappointed?”

“Why should I be? You didn't run.” He goes silent, and slowly, you look at him. He's focused on the wound, but it doesn't seem to be too serious. He wraps a bandage around it before laying it on the mattress.

“Was it a test? You left the door unlocked.”

“I forgot. I have a lot going on in my head.”

You want to know what is it he thinks so much about. “I'm sorry about the glass.”

“Why did you change your mind?”

“I can't tell you.” You sit up, and when you do, you're suddenly very close to him. You know you should move away, rest your back on the headboard, but you're frozen, looking into his eyes. Bruce doesn't move either.

“Alright. I'm glad you decided to stay.”

You don't think you wanted to run. You just needed to get out of the room. “Bruce, my... My birthday is coming.”

“I know.” He says with a smile.

“Can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Can I... Can I see the gardens?” The moment you say it, you regret. He won't let you out just like this. “You know what, nevermind. A cake would be just fine.”

His face softens, and his hand comes to your face, fingers softly caressing your skin.

Bruce needs to stop doing that because it's sending you the wrong signs, and you should probably tell him to. His touch is so different from anything else, is addicting.

You're falling for him. You're just about to fall in love with Bruce Wayne. And that will probably the your biggest mistake.

×

@redwolf-7 @glitterypinkkitty @mybabyboytony @chipster-21 @agustdpeach @yaakimoon2 @chloe-skywalker

[rainydayhogwartsimagines]

You being a Durmstrang student PT2

Warnings: Death, torture, bodily harm, mental harm, panic attacks

Draco and you came back to the manor and you both just froze seeing the dark lord.

Voldemort seemed to take a liking to you

Maybe it was because you were an ex Durmstrang student

Or maybe it was that you were a slytherin.

But you were trusted the second you took the mark

Which was their mistake because you told the order EVERYTHING, as did Draco.

You took every safety measure you possibly could.

You snuck out to the burrow one night and draco showed up utterly speechless

"Draco, darling what's wrong?" Molly asked.

"They..." He ran a hand over his face. "They want me to kill Dumbledore."

Everyone was shocked and you were silent.

There was no getting out of this one, if Draco didn't do it, Voldemort would kill him

Harry assuring him that they'd figure something out

You being in the manor the night that it happened.

Draco coming home and saying nothing to anyone, beelining to you and hugging you

When you two were alone he had a meltdown

You helping the group go to Bellatrix's vault

You also having to watch hermione's torture

You having to leave the room because it reminded you way too much about the headmaster

You having a panic attack when you're alone

Lucius calmly explaining why that bothered you

And everyone not caring

I mean Draco and Narcissa cared, but everyone else? Not so much

Draco comforting you

Hermione later asking "How did you make it?"

And you having to tell her that you just "had to keep holding on"

The battle happening

Everyone is fighting around you, you're defending the defenseless

Draco saving Fred's life and Molly basically deciding then and there "This kid is mine now, no one touches my new son"

You putting that cane to use

You and Neville absolutely WRECKING Nagini

Finding tonks and her asking "Have you seen Remus!?"

You both going to look for him

Finding him barely clinging to life and a death eater ready to kill both of you

You not having it and defending them.

You managing to save both of them and taking Remus to the healers

The battle coming to a screeching halt after Harry died.

You feeling like you failed your friends because he was gone

Voldemort trying to get you to come to the dark side

Draco and you not budging and Narcissa nodding in approval

You noticing that Harry seemed to move slightly.

Harry hitting the ground and you grabbed his wand, throwing it to him before blocking an attack directed at Draco

You getting in this massive fight with a death eater before noticing Draco's life was in danger

You stepped in ending that shit immediately

Both of you were basically back to back fighting

"Y/N I HAVE A QUICK QUESTION!" draco said mid battle.

"LITTLE BUSY, CAN THIS WAIT!?" You asked.

"NOT REALLY! SEEING AS WE BOTH COULD DIE" he said.

you cutting down someone behind him.

Basically being so close you're touching noses.

"What's going on?" You asked him.

"After this is done and we win, if we make it would you do the honor of being my wife?" He asked.

You cut down someone behind you.

"I'm sorry did you just propose in the middle of battle!?" You asked.

"Now is a good time as any!" He replied defending you.

You saw the determination in his eyes and the love for you he had

"Yes!" You said.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm saying yes you dolt-- DUCK!" you said

He ducked and you blocked an attack

You watched the final battle and when you won you all were relieved.

You all went back to the burrow and were sitting around.

"This was the longest day of my life." You groaned as Molly tended to your bruises

"tell me about it. If I have one more major thing happen today, I might kill someone." Hermione said

Draco chuckled as Fred helped him with a cut

"I don't think you'll want to know about what happened earlier then." He said.

Everyone looked at each other.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked.

"Draco asked me to marry him. And I said yes." You answered.

Everyone freaking out

Crying was involved

Everyone was happy for you two

Flashforward and you two are both working at Hogwarts

You're a defense against the dark arts teacher and Draco is a Astronomy teacher

You two are like this power couple who the students look up to

You both brought down that fucking headmaster at Durmstrang and made damn sure that their policies changed.

You being there for the headmaster's trial

Your scars being evidence for what he did to students and him being imprisoned

You vowing that you'd never allow that in your presence again.

You and Draco basically being parents to students who might not have that at home

you two actually having Christmas with your students because they are your kids and you love those lil shits.

Draco being ecstatic when you were pregnant

You two having your son: Luka Stephan Malfoy

Draco loving him so fucking much

Christmas with the Weasleys after Luka is born because you want him to know his family.

Watching Luka play with the other kids and Draco having his arm around you

Him not regretting any of his choices that led him to you because you and Luka

You two were this man's entire world and he wouldn't trade this for anything.

[iam93percentstardust]

I'm bombarding you with those prompts, so I fully understand if you just ignore all those you don't like, lol. Would WinterIronFalcon be an OT3 you're intrested in writing? Some established WinterFalcon with Tony pining helplessly after them, not believeing he could have a chance? With a dash of angst in it? Thank you ♡

There isn’t much angst in this but there is hopeless pining so yay?

Also on ao3 here

~

“Share Bear, it’s not fair,” Tony whines into the phone.

“What isn’t?” his cousin asks, sounding patient but also kind of amused. He takes the phone away from his ear and squints at it. Is she making fun of him? She probably is, Sharon always makes fun of him. She’s mean like that; he’s pretty sure she gets it from Natasha.

“They’re so fucking gorgeous, I can’t stand it.”

“Oh. Them again. Seriously Tony, didn’t you used to have better taste?”

“Excuse you,” he says, offended. “My taste is perfect.”

“They think arguing is foreplay.”

“It’s bickering! And it’s cute!”

“Gross,” Sharon says cheerfully.

“God hates me,” Tony says dramatically, flinging his hand over his eyes. “That’s why he cursed me to work with two such beautiful humans who are already dating each other.”

“Tony—”

“I know Bucky stays up to date with the fandom,” he continues, going a little quieter. “He’s gotta know that tons of people ship the three of us. But he doesn’t say anything about it. Share Bear, why doesn’t he say anything?”

“Probably because for every person who ships all three of you, there’s twice as many who ship just you and him,” she admits. “I know that if someone were shipping Maria and Nat and ignoring that I even exist, I’d be pretty upset.”

“Yeah,” he says glumly.

“What’re you filming today anyway?” she asks.

“True Crime. We were supposed to be doing an episode of Supernatural at the Odinson Mystery House, you know, over in Norway where the son found out he was adopted and then got super into Norse mythology and supposedly disappeared into a rainbow?”

“Oh yeah, that guy was crazy.”

“Wasn’t,” Tony insist stubbornly. “There are three different eyewitnesses and they all saw the same thing.”

“All three eyewitnesses tested positive for meth.”

“It was trace amounts and ruled irrelevant to the case. Anyway, there’s some sort of blizzard so our flight got canceled. We figured we’d get a jump on this season’s True Crime episodes instead.”

“What are you doing this week?”

He scowls into the phone. “Fandom episode. They voted for Captain America.”

He can practically hear Sharon wince. “I’m sorry. That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, not least because both of them know exactly what happened to Captain America. He was recovered from the Arctic back in the 50s and went on to live a very happy and fulfilling life with Aunt Peggy. But that’s a very closely guarded state secret; the U.S. government can’t let it get out that Steve Rogers survived nearly a decade in the ice. Technically, Tony and Sharon aren’t even supposed to know but Aunt Peggy had insisted she be allowed to tell them after she took custody of Sharon and Tony moved out of Howard’s and into her home. It’s kind of cool actually, knowing that Uncle Steve is really Captain America. He’s a pretty great guy. It just kind of sucks that he can’t tell anyone about it and now he has to do a whole episode about it when everyone knows he’s a shitty liar.

He’d talked it over with Uncle Steve and Aunt Peggy when the results of the vote had first come in. Aunt Peggy’s advice had been to act more manic than usual, throw even more outlandish theories into the mix, and really make this episode about the banter between him and Bucky. “Direct their attention away from Steve,” she’d said. “They’re already going to be looking at you. Just make sure they’re doing it for the wrong reason.”

He kind of wants to kiss Bucky. That would definitely draw attention away from the episode. But that’s not fair to either Bucky or Sam, who are very happy with their relationship and don’t need a homewrecker like Tony throwing a spanner into the mix.

“Good luck,” Sharon tells him before they hang up. “You’re gonna need it.”

“Wow, thanks,” he mutters but she’s already gone.

~

Marvels Unsolved was never supposed to be this popular. It started off as a novelty webseries about Tony trying to convince Bucky about the existence of the supernatural—he firmly believed that if science could turn Uncle Steve from an actual shrimp to the god of muscles, then magic had to be out there—and then they’d started talking about an unsolved crime from the early 20th century after filming an episode one day, forgetting that the camera was still rolling, and had ended up with enough footage to make a second episode about real crimes. They had stayed pretty unknown throughout that first season but then true crime podcasts had exploded in popularity and Unsolved along with them.

Now they have a fandom and merchandise and actual fanfiction written about them, which is the craziest thing. They both have several often-quoted gifs floating around the Internet and Bucky has somehow become the poster child for being unimpressed by literally everything (he actually makes some of the best faces when something genuinely scary happens but they always end up editing those parts out—he has an image to maintain after all).

They brought Sam on once they started gaining in popularity. Tony, by that point, already had a pretty well-established crush on Bucky. He’d even thought that he had a chance with his co-host, small as it may be, and at first, it hadn’t seemed like Sam was going to change anything. He and Bucky argued all the time so Tony had been absolutely stunned when he’d stumbled upon them making out like it was the end of the world.

They had just finished filming their second season. Sam had suggested going out to a local bar. He’d suggested it for all three of them but Tony had, inexplicably, felt like a third wheel all night as Sam and Bucky bickered. At one point, Sam had disappeared off to the restroom and a couple minutes later, Bucky had followed him. Tony doesn’t know how long he had sat there waiting for them but he’d eventually gone looking for them only to find Sam pressing Bucky up against a wall.

And that had been that.

Three years later, Sam and Bucky are still going strong, Tony is as smitten with Sam as he is with Bucky despite knowing how hopeless both crushes are, and the fandom seems convinced to either write Sam out of Tony and Bucky’s relationship or write Tony into Sam and Bucky’s. He wishes they would stop. He stays pretty up to date with the fandom as well and they have all these meta posts about the way Bucky looks at him or something. It just keeps giving him hope but, well, it’s been three years. If Bucky wanted him, or if Sam did for that matter, they would have done something long ago.

~

“Hey, you doing okay?” Sam asks him as they’re setting up.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” He avoids meeting Sam’s eyes, focusing instead on adding creamer to the coffee. Marvels had presented them with these mugs last year to congratulate them on four years of Unsolved. They’ve got their most iconic quotes printed on them, Bucky’s with “Obviously I killed JFK” and Tony’s with “I’m the dramatic bitch your mom warned you about.” Sam has one too with his one and only line in the entire show printed on it (“Why did I agree to work with you?”) but since he’s always behind the camera, he doesn’t have to use the same mug for each episode.

“You just seem a little off.” The worst part is that Sam genuinely looks concerned. If they didn’t care about him, he thinks his crush might be easier to manage but they do because they’re just nice guys like that. “I know you weren’t too thrilled when we announced this week’s case.”

“Howard worked with him, practically hero-worshipped the damn guy. Of course, I’m not excited.”

Sam winces. They know all about Tony’s shitty relationship with Howard after his dad called Marvels furious that his son was hosting a webseries instead of coming home to grovel at his feet and take over the business. The whole team had been brought in to listen as Fury tried to placate him. By the end, Bucky had been furious on Tony’s behalf and Sam had berated Fury for twenty minutes for making Tony listen to the vitriol his dad had spewed. It had cemented his crush on Sam, then just a passing fancy, into something real and permanent.

“Seriously, Sam, I’m fine. Might be a little off today but I would have said if I didn’t think I could do it.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced but he agrees anyway. Tony sits down next to Bucky and passes him his mug. Bucky shoots him a grin and murmurs, “Thanks, doll.”

Tony doesn’t blush but that’s only because he has five years of practice. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Sam counting them down and he turns to face the camera, settling his hands in front of him.

“This week on Marvels Unsolved True Crime and in celebration of our 100th episode,” he begins, “we asked you what you’d like us to investigate and you came back—”

“—overwhelmingly,” Bucky interjects.

“Many, many times,” Tony agrees, “with a topic near and dear to my own heart: Captain America.”

“That’s right,” Bucky says, sounding surprised though Bucky had been the first to point out that maybe they shouldn’t do this episode because of Tony’s connections to Project Rebirth. “Your dad helped turn Steve Rogers into Captain America, didn’t he?”

“And he never let me forget it!” Tony says cheerfully.

“One hundred episodes,” Bucky says slowly, enunciating each word. “Can you believe that, doll?”

Sometimes, he wonders why the fans ship them when Sam is right there. Other times, Bucky says things like this and he understands completely.

“Not even a little bit, Bucky Babe.” Okay, so maybe he doesn’t help.

“One hundred. The big one zero zero.”

“We tried to do something extra special and get Sam in front of the camera for you guys—”

“—so you could see what a hunk he is—”

“—but Sam said that he didn’t trust anyone else to film us properly—”

“—which makes sense because Tony? If you put him in the wrong light, he’s practically a gremlin—”

“Hey!”

“I’m just telling the facts.”

“Well, the facts are wrong.”

“They’re facts, sweet thing, they can’t be wrong.”

“Can too. Anyway, since Sam refuses to join us—”

“—and that just breaks my heart because Sam, he’s one of my favorite guys, you know?”

Tony pauses. It’s not like Bucky to say anything nice about Sam. Usually, it’s all good-natured insults and bickering. He must really be fed up with the Starkbucks shippers to say something like this when they’re still this early in the show.

“Only one of?” he asks curiously.

Bucky shoots him one of those filthy grins that their audience loves so much. “Well, it’s hard not to include you on that list,” he drawls.

He’s not going to blush.

He’s not going to blush.

He’s not going to—

Damn it.

Whatever. It’s no big deal, that’s what editing is for. So what if Sam has never edited out one of Tony’s blushes yet? Maybe Tony will get lucky and he will this time.

“You know, I was actually named for Captain America’s sidekick?” Bucky asks, getting them back on track.

“Wow, that is deeply unfortunate,” Tony deadpans.

“Yeah, Dad’s a fanboy. His whole troop was pinned down and rescued by the two of them. He tells the story all the time—kind of like your dad.”

“Except my dad goes straight past into fanboy and directly into obsession territory.”

“…Fair enough.”

“Really? That’s all you’re going to say?”

Bucky shrugs and takes a sip out of his mug. “I’ve been inside your house. I’ve seen the Steve Rogers shrine. I’m not going to argue with you.”

Tony thinks about that for a moment. “It is kind of a shrine, isn’t it? Anyway, we’ve got some great stuff for you today. We’re going to crack open this cold case, show you some never-before-seen footage courtesy of my mom sneaking my dad’s old war tapes out of the mansion, and then we’ll talk a little bit about the theories out there.”

“How many of them are going to be ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible?”

Tony glares at him. “None of them. I have never once presented a ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible theory.”

“Right because alien abduction is a valid—”

“Aliens are real!”

“You said that crabs might have eaten Amelia Earheart!” Bucky shouts over him.

“It’s a valid theory!”

“I take it back, you’re not one of my favorite people anymore.”

“That really hurts me, deep inside,” Tony says sarcastically, trying to cover up that maybe that does send a small pang shooting through his chest. He likes the thought of being one of Bucky’s favorite people. He doesn’t want to lose that.

“How deep?” Bucky asks and winks.

“Very deep. Way, way deep down. Practically in my—”

Bucky’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes on his coffee. “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s get into the facts.”

“Hey, that’s my line!”

~

“With a missing plane and pilot and so much redaction in the files, we’re lucky to even have a name, let’s get into the theories.”

“Actually, wait, before we do that,” Bucky says, “I want to ask if you’ve ever noticed that your voice changes when you’re doing the voiceovers.”

“Wait, what?” Tony asks. He glances at him, to one of the cameras, then back to Bucky. “What do you mean?”

“You know, it gets all deeper like you’re trying to voice movie trailers or something.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Sure it does.”

Tony shakes his head. “There’s no way.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Told you!” Bucky says triumphantly.

“You’re such a child,” Tony sneers.

“Yeah, that’s why you like working with me so much.”

Behind the camera, Sam silently snickers and Tony glares at him before telling the camera, “If you’re watching, let us know in the comments. Is my apparent movie trailer voice okay or does it need to go like Bucky clearly thinks?”

Bucky goes paler. “Hey, wait, I didn’t say it had to go.”

“It was implied when you brought it up,” he argues.

“No!” Bucky insists. “I was just wondering if it was on purpose.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Aha!” Tony says triumphantly.

“Traitor,” Bucky mutters into his coffee.

Sam signs, “I’ll make it up to you when we get home tonight.”

“And that was more than I ever wanted to learn about Sam and Bucky’s love life,” Tony lies through his teeth. “Let’s get into the theories. I only have two for you today, one of which I think Bucky will particularly like.”

“Oh no.”

“Our first theory is that Steve Rogers died in a plane crash on December 16, 1944. Winter months in the Arctic are known to be particularly stormy. There would have been low visibility due to the high latitude and time of year and with the waters and surrounding land being well below freezing, it’s possible that, even if Captain Rogers survived the impact, he would have frozen to death in the stormy seas.”

Bucky thinks about it for a second. “Yeah, that seems plausible.”

“In addition, Howard Stark, a known Captain America aficionado and the father of Marvels Unsolved’s best host—”

“You lie like a rug!” Bucky howls.

Tony snickers and then when Sam signs, “He’s really not,” bursts out into full-out laughter.

Once he’s recovered, he continues, “Howard Stark has spent the first fifty years after the crash of the Valkyrie and the last twenty funding searches in the Arctic in the hopes of recovering Captain Rogers’ body. He has found no evidence that Captain Rogers survived the crash although he did find part of the remains of the Valkyrie and has since stated that, ‘No human could have survived that crash.’”

The expeditions are a scam and have been since Howard first found the Valkyrie crash site and Uncle Steve along with it. He hadn’t been planning on continuing the expeditions—too costly, as he claims—but when Aunt Peggy had told him that Uncle Steve’s survival had to remain a secret, he’d kept them up for pretense’s sake.

Bucky is saying something about how it sucks that the first superhero is gone and when he finishes, Tony grins and says, “Then you’ll like our second theory.”

“Somehow, every time you say that, I end up completely hating it. Wonder why that is.”

“Our second theory is that Steve Rogers survived the crash and is still alive but cryogenically frozen in the ice. There—”

“Bullshit!”

Tony starts laughing but he tries to continue on over Bucky shouting that it’s complete nonsense. It’s hard and he knows that Sam will probably have to do some editing and maybe make Tony do some voiceover work in order to make the theory audible but he thinks he manages to do a pretty good job.

Bucky is pouting by the end of it, arms crossed over his chest. “What fucking bullshit,” he mutters.

“The supersoldier serum—” Tony starts to point out.

“Isn’t a miracle drug.”

“That’s exactly what it is.”

“No, it just made him big and strong. It doesn’t just magically keep people alive when they should have died.”

And then they’re off into familiar territory, arguing about the merits of either theory. Tony’s actually feeling pretty good about himself, convinced that he’s doing a decent job of steering the conversation away of anything classified, right up until Bucky says, about halfway through the episode, “I’m surprised at you, Tony.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Surprised?”

“Usually, you have some absolutely batshit, off-the-walls crazy theory but these have actually been pretty normal for you.” He pauses and then adds for effect, “And you’re usually much better at your research than this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on, even I know that there’s one more theory.”

He starts tapping at his chest nervously, almost wishing that he had a pair of sunglasses. Aunt Peggy always said that his lies are in his eyes, that they’re too expressive to hide the truth. When he was living with Howard, in the spotlight, he always had a pair of sunglasses to hide his eyes but he hasn’t wanted to use those since he moved out. He wishes he had them now.

“And what’s that?” he asks, feigning a casualness he doesn’t feel.

“That Steve Rogers lived and came out of the ice at some point and has been living out his life in anonymity.”

He barks out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t mention it because even I know that that theory is completely impossible.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” Sam nods agreeably. Bucky nods back at him and adds, “Even Sam agrees with me.”

“He’s your boyfriend, he’s practically required to.”

Both Sam and Bucky laugh at that one and yeah, okay, it was a pretty ridiculous statement. Anyone who knows them knows that being boyfriends is less likely to make them agree with each other.

“Look, Steve Rogers didn’t come out of the ice alive. Howard would have known for one thing and if you think, he could keep something like that quiet, then you don’t know him very well.”

“Maybe the government insisted it be a secret,” Bucky suggests, shrugging. “There have been plenty of people who have claimed over the last couple decades to be Captain America.”

Tony scoffs. “Oh come on, by that logic, anyone could be Captain America.”

“Maybe they could be.”

“No,” Tony says flatly. “It’s like that crazy conspiracy theory guy over on Reddit who’s convinced that Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Maybe Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Ooh do the butts match?” Tony says mockingly. “I mean, really, Bucky Babe, if we’re going off of lookalikes, then my fucking Uncle Steve is secretly really Steve Rogers, which is ridiculous because the guy’s like practically ancient and faints at the sight of blood in PG-13 movies.”

That sets off another round of arguing that lasts the rest of the episode until finally Tony wraps it up with, “Whether Steve Rogers died in 1944 or is still alive today is a mystery that will remain unsolved.”

They both pause for a moment to provide time for Sam to edit in the theme music and closing title. Usually, there would be some lighthearted bantering afterwards, maybe a joke about something they said earlier in the show. This time though, Bucky says thoughtfully, “The thing is, though, I’ve met your Uncle Steve—”

Tony goes cold.

“—and he really does kind of look like—”

Tony panics. That’s the only explanation that he has for declaring, “I’m done waiting,” reaching across the tables and grabbing hold of Bucky’s shirt, and yanking him forward to kiss him.

For a moment, Bucky is too startled to do anything but then he melts into Tony, mouth opening under his, tongue pushing forward to meet his. Bucky’s arms come around him, pulling him up and out of his chair and settling him into his lap. Tony makes a small greedy sound, swallowed by Bucky’s kiss, and then they’re both pulling away. Bucky’s lips are very red; Tony can’t stop staring at them even as he’s filled with dismay.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Why not?” Bucky demands.

“You—Sam—” He glances toward the camera but Sam isn’t standing there anymore. His heart drops into his stomach—has he just ruined Bucky and Sam’s relationship? But then he hears someone drop to their knees behind him and when he turns slightly, Sam’s fingers are on his chin, gently turning his head.

“How long?” Sam asks.

“How long what?”

“How long have we been wasting our time when we could have been kissing you instead?”

Three years, two months, and fifteen days. “Too long.”

Sam kisses him then, mouth gentler than Bucky’s but no less consuming. Bucky is a hard, hot line against his front; Sam is warm against his back and Tony? Tony loses himself in the storm that is the two of them, sparks shooting through him as Bucky’s hands find their way to his hips, as Sam’s tongue slips into his mouth, as Bucky whispers into his ear, “We’re not wasting any more time.”

~

Marvels Unsolved’s 100th episode shoots to their most watched, most liked video in less than a day and when asked, maybe the smallest handful of viewers could have said what it was about.

The day after it posts, only a week after it was filmed, Tony’s phone rings.

“Kill it with fire,” Sam says sleepily.

Tony, however, recognizes Aunt Peggy’s ringtone and he rolls over to grab it before Bucky can throw it at the wall. “Hello?” he asks groggily.

“Congratulations on not blowing Steve’s cover,” she says.

“Oh yeah,” Tony mutters. “Can I go back to bed now?”

“One more thing, duck.”

“What’s that?”

“Congratulations on the new boyfriends.”

[levinneheart]

Never loved you

Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader (College AU)

Warning/s: Characters are 20+; slight IzuOcha ship; Fluff; Angst; implied Depression; may or may not been based on experience

And yes, the title is a Song by Evie Clair. You’re quirk is smth to do w/ Empath and it’s not hero material by norms.

You never expect to encounter him. Out of all the people you could’ve met, you didn’t believe you that you could met him online out of all the places.

It started when you became friends with a group of talented singers and musicians as you also joined into the fun – abeit not as talented as them, you tried your best and put your all into it. Not long after that, you began knowing the group which consists of all the previous students of Class 1-A and some other students of UA and soon, Mina invited you to join their group as an “honorary member” as you lived in another country which you gladly accepted.

Sometimes, you would join the voice call and be overwhelmed by the amount of voices blasting in your earphone. Sometimes, you would listen silently as everyone talked over each other while Bakugou screamed and make small explosions that literally makes everyone deaf. Rip earphone users. You loved and treasured these moments with them, although you didn’t know what they looked like.

It wasn’t until he joined that made you the happiest. You were currently teasing Midoriya and Uraraka, saying they were cute crushing on each other, much to Uraraka’s denial and Midoriya’s stuttering. Chuckling, you continue with your impromptu storytelling of their love blossoming until both of them are beyond speechless. You decided to stop when Bakugou joined the conversation.

“Yo, Mina invited other damn extra!” he informed in his usual loud voice.

“Kaachan, you shouldn’t talk to Shinsou like that! He’s listening you know!” Midoriya scolded softly.

You checked and someone was listening in, they had a cat picture as a profile pic and you couldn’t helped but smack yourself in embarrassment as you didn’t noticed earlier while Bakugou and Midoriya beefed it out in the voice chat. You muted them, not wanting to hear they’re yelling of being the no. 1 hero.

“I agree with you btw.” chatted the one with cat pic. “It’s so obvious, it makes me roll my eyes that they remain oblivious to each other’s feelings.”

“IKR!” You typed back, forgetting your embarrassment.

“You’re not from UA, are you?”

“No. Actually, I’m just an honorary member as Mina says since I live miles away haha.”

“I see. I’m Shinsou, Shinsou Hitoshi btw.”

“(l/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!”

You didn’t know how it happened but you felt an instant connection to him and you two hitted it off from then. You two would always chat in your private message and it quickly became unnoticed by the others, they even started to ship is and make an official name for the ship. You played oblivious as did he, although both of you already know about it.

After two weeks, he called you bb and you couldn’t helped but blush before awkwardly telling him: you really really liked him. At first, he didn’t say anything so you were half-expecting him to reject you and that’ll be it. But surprised, he told you: he liked you back. However you both decided that it’s too early for a relationship so you two now have a peace of mind that at least the other feels the same way.

It was fun, interacting with him, sending him uwus and heart memes, etc. You learned that he’s working as a pro hero while you studied in university. You learned he’s a gamer who sings, plays the guitar and ukulele ngl i can honesty see this as canon. And he plays basketball and soccer just pretend sksksksksk.

You two would schedule voice calls as you both were busy, it would always play out as – you would come home late and wait for him to get out of work as you two chatted away before actually getting in the call once he’s home. You would usually ask about he’s day and about his job and he’d reply with his usual deep tired voice that you’ve grown to love curses my deep voice kink.

This went for two months. Until one night while you were staying up late studying, he chatted your name. This was the first time he called you by your real name, usually he would call you by your username or “bb” as usual so this sudden change set butterflies in your stomach.

“Yes, Toshi?” you replied before teasingly sent, “This is the 1st time you called me by my name haha.”

“I wanted to tell you something important so I thought it’d catch your attention.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I love you.”

Without thinking you typed, “I love you too.” and sent it before realizing what he meant. “Do you meant that as a friend?” You immediately sent.

“Do you want me to say that?”

You blushed hard, you can imagine him chuckling at your stupid question. “Uhhh no??? Idk??? You’re not joking, right??”

“I wouldn’t have said it, if I didn’t mean it.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe it so you just had to ask.

“Yes.”

“Tell it to me again plz 🥺👉👈.”

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you too, Toshi.”

“In advance, I’m so sorry for being a weirdo.”

“But you’re my weirdo.”

Cue squealing. But after that, it went spiraling down. A month and a week went by without communication from him; no updates, no greetings, no nothing. You decided to confront him about your concerns. You understand that he’s busy at work and you were always supportive and understanding at his job were his top priority.

But couldn’t he at least spare you a few minutes of his free time, maybe when he woke up or during his breaks. You didn’t ask for more so you were slightly disappointed with him as it worried you that he worked 6am-2am everday without holiday breaks besides Nov.1-2.

You voiced those concerns to him, he apologized and you forgave him. But this behavior of his continued on and this made you sad, other would say you’re depressed but you were too occupied with thoughts of him; his voice; the feeling he gave you, etc.

For another month and three days, you confront him again but this time he left your pm and blocked you. You panicked as negative thoughts flooding your mind.

Did you do anything wrong? You weren’t too clingy, right? Your chat wasn’t too honest, right?

You somehow managed to calm your mind after a couple of minutes and through logical evaluation and elimination, you concluded that you didn’t do anything wrong. But the questions remain: Why did he leave? Why did he blocked you?

For the longest time, you couldn’t answer that. You spend your time drifting off from reality and to your memories with Toshi while day-by-by you lessen your interactions with your online friends, seemingly just vanishing from thin air.

You felt empty, a void of loneliness filled you as you went your way through your own life, not knowing what to do with yourself or even feel. Why did it come to this? Everything went fine, you two were happy so why? Why did he suddenly leave you all alone like that?

———————————————————————

Today was the reunion of UA batch [number]. Shinsou stood in the far corner of the Gym Gamma, his back leaning against the wall as he observed everyone and everything. He noticed an unfamiliar yet familiar (h/c) locks, he watch as you talked with Sero, Tokoyami, Shouji, and Ojirou. You were especially close to Ojirou, you practically by his side with your arm linked with his.

He didn’t know why he was growing irritated and angry at sight of you being in someone else’s arms when he damn well know that you deserve to move on after what he’d done to you after all those three years but still… He had hoped that you actually waited for him.

You were suddenly called by Kirishima as you leaned towards Ojirou and whispered a soft ‘see you’ before walking towards to him.

“(Y/n)-chan! I want you to meet someone!” He said as he dragged you towards where a lone lavender haired man stood before running away. You opened your mouth to objects but it was already too late, he was gone. You looked at the stranger and felt that same connection when you met him, you knew. Although not having to see his face, you just knew that it was him: Shinsou.

“(L/n) (f/n)! Nice to meet’cha!” You cheered brightly, just like when you first introduced yourself to him.

“I know.” he replied. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi.” God, why I am so lame. He thought.

“Oh! Nice to finally and officially meet you, Shinsou-san!” You smiled as you raised your glass towards him.

Why did you have to call him like a stranger? And not the usual ‘Toshi’ you would always call him?

He clicked his glass with yours and took a sip as his eyes spotted a shiny accessory on your ring finger, making his heart froze. That’s why. You were engaged. Of course, why wouldn’t you be? You were ever so patient, understanding and supportive. It didn’t even surprise him.

When you finished you glass, you excused yourself as Jirou announces the last song for tonight that is written by the guess before she yelled out your name and you climbed up the stage.

“Love do you know?

We've been growing apart

And you should know

That for me that's hard

Darling I'm scared if I let you go, oh

This will be goodbye for good

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’

And I won't say

That I knew it from the start

So you can say

That we weren't torn apart

'Cause for me, oh it's easier to bleed, oh

When I know you can sleep so I keep telling myself

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

I feel numb when the drums slow down

Oh, leave me dumb so I can't tell myself

Myself, oh

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

I already know that it just isn't true

It's easier this way

I'll spare my heart some pain

Even though I know it isn't true

‘I never loved you’.”

Part 2, maybe???

[sleep-swell]

MTMTE Swerve X reader {how to be failure 101} chapter 3. Grew up

A human? Swerve couldn't be more excited. Since the moment Rodimus mentioned a human, he couldn't concentrate on what was being said to him. Something about a party, that's what he did hear.

He knew all those things about humans, all those shows will finally pay off. He and the human would get along just fine, if they missed earth, they could go to him to get an earth feeling.

Or not. They could also hate Swerve for assuming he knew everything while actually he was just an amateur. Oooh, how Swerve wished you'd like him.

Because Swerve was one of the only ones knowing about the human, almost everyone got to know the secret soon enough. He just wouldn't stop talking about it. Some even asked him about earth stuff so they could could get bigger chances at being your friend. Offcourse that made Swerve more insecure because the more the others knew, the less of a chance he had with you.

After a while, the bar was ready with a big text.

'Welcome to the Lost Light' it said.

It was almost time for Ultra Magnus to come in with the human. Normally Rodimus would do it, but Magnus didn't trust him with it. Instead, Rodimus waited at the bar, preparing his speech and when he was gonna say 'til all are one'.

Meanwhile, you were still at Rung's office, getting some motivation.

"I really hope this won't cause any problems..." You said.

"Everyone will like you, I promise. Having a human on board will make our journey more exiting."

You missed earth. You missed your friends, the shops, internet. Gosh, you missed the internet. Offcourse, Rung noticed.

"Hey," He began. "If you ever miss home, I advise you to talk with a friend of mine. His name is Swerve, he's a barkeeper and knows anything about earth."

"Thanks Rung," you answered.

Rung smiled at you, happy that at least someone says his name right.

"I advise you to come visit me at least one a week (y/n), being so far from your planet and society can have a huge impact, i really hope to see you more," he said softly.

Just as Ultra Magnus came in, you gave out an answer, "okay."

"(Y/n), it's time to go." Stated Magnus.

You nodded, and hopped down from Rung's table, walking a fast as you could behind Ultra Magnus.

You panted a "How far is it?" Out.

In which he answered, "Not so much, you'll manage."

When you arrived at the door, you had to climb on Ultra Magnus's hand, so he could hide you using his other hand. Rodimus persisted that you should be a surprise reveal, and who was he to ignore orders.

The doors opened, all eyes were fixated on Ultra Magnus, Rodimus jumped up from his seat and stood on a table to get all the attention. Swerve's bar was flooding, and only most knew about your existence.

Still, all this was making Swerve anxious. He shifted his balance from one pede to another, and twirled his thumbs around eachother. His face couldn't decide between smiling like a goof or staying serious.

Rodimus fake coughed, "Everyone, listen. Today is a special and oussem day. Because yesterday, we have found not one, but TWO humans on an attacked space ship." He poused, seeing if all the attention was on him.

"One is heavily injured and might die, but we have things under control. The other one, is totally fine, and is now officially part of our crew. Sadly, all the rest of their crew perished on their ship."

Whispers spread around the bar.

"They are very far from home, and have no way of going back. Please, have a bit of perspective and welcome them as an equal. Until all are one!"

"Without further ado," added Ultra Magnus, "we now present you (y/n) (l/n), the human that is perfectly fine."

He opened his hands, and handed you to Rodimus. He put out his hands so you could stand on them and be seen by everyone.

You looked so nervous and cute, Swerve thought he was dreaming. Finally he could meet a human  maybe even befriend them if he were lucky. He was now biting on one of his fingers to keep him from rambling and interrupting.

"Uh..." You spoke.

"Hello everyone, since you already know my name I'll just skip that part... I am really grateful to be able to live here and have a place to stay."

You tried reassuring yourself that everything is fine, when done, you continued.

"I hope we all get along and I'm excited to even be friends with the one who want. I am still a bit in shock, but when I'll get better I am happy to answer any questions asked." You smiled.

When done, Rodimus again shouted, "Til all are one!"

That was the que that the speech was over, and so everyone started talking and trying to ask questions.

Drift tried keeping everyone calm, while Ultra Magnus pushed people away that were getting too close. Rodimus on the other hand, held you up hight so nobody could snatch you away.

He whole place was a chaos, the party had not even begun and Swerve was ordered to close the bar to get some peace.

Only some people were allowed to stay behind, and you got introduced to some others.

"So," you began, "You are Chromedome, you're Rewind, you're Brainstorm, Swerve, Skids, Whirl, Cyclonus, and Tailgate. Damn that's a lot to remember."

"There's a lot more that you'll meet over the time," reminded Skids.

"Who let Whirl stay here again?" Asked Brainstorm.

Whirl his attention switched from you towards Brainstorm. "You wanna fragging go?! Cuz i will mess you up real good!" 

Magnus stood up and quickly grabbed a hold on Whirl to set him down, then he explained to Brainstorm that letting Whirl stay was the only way to calm him down. Brainstorm wanted to talk some sense into them, but your chuckle interrupted him, all eyes were on you now. 

"Sorry, sorry," you laughed.

Oh how lovely your laugh sounded to Swerve, humans were truely amazing.

"Say (y/n), how's recharging in the same room as Rodimus?" Started Tailgate.

"Ah, it's..." You looked over at Rodimus, still pulling on your sentence. Rodimus was practically sitting on the verge of his chair.

"Great. It's great."

Rodimus his grin got bigger, seems like his ego was getting bigger. While Ultra Magnus shook his head, Tailgate gave out a chuckle.

Suddenly, Cyclonus decided to make his presence clear, "If you don't mind me asking (y/n), how did your life look like on earth?"

Your smile faltered. Since you got here, you never had a chance to look back at your life before the launch into space. Nor on the first ship with your crew had you had the chance to do that. Everyone around you was always a distraction.

Cyclonus seemed to notice your change of attitude. "If it's too personal you don't have to answer. It's okay if you-"

"It's fine. I'm fine. I just didn't get  chance to think about it too much."

Everyone listened carefully.

"I.. my life on earth," you started, "Wasn't particularly bad, but also not perfect. I lived on my own in a small apartment, too busy with the internet too find friends, and little on money."

"But I've made it work. I figured things out to find the money I need. And so, here I am." You laughed.

"You came here for money?" Asked Brainstorm, getting a nudge from Chromedome. Glares were shared between both.

"No no, not here specifically. More like send into space with a new gadget."

"You weren't sure you were gonna make it and you took the chance? Not only you but 4 other people too." Asked Rewind.

"They needed one other volunteer."

Whirl butted in, "You just went for a suicide mission for money! That's oussem!"

He got a smack from Ultra Magnus. Then he tried fighting against him but was threatened to leave the room if he didn't behave. Unwilling to leave a chance with a human, he remained... Something like calm.

Deciding to brighten up the mood a bit, you started talking again, "Hey, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here now meeting you guys!"

It worked, and it was totally calm again. Until Chromedome spoke again.

"Hey Swerve has been uncharacteristically silent this whole time."

The others decided to join in.

Skids nudged Swerve, "Yeah pal, you've been quiet this whole time. Everything alright?"

"Yeah everything okay there?"

Swerve, who was leaning his head on his hands, put them on his lap, a nervous laugh escaping him.

"Y.. yeah guys. I'm... I'm fine. Just observing. I've never seen a human before, I mean I have but only on screen, never in real life. It's different you know, I mean you're not different, the experience is just different. I'm sorry I'm rambling again aren't I?"

"Good luck with him fleshy, he can talk your ears off asking questions. Won't even give you a chance to answer," said Whirl.

And as fast as Swerve's mood went down, it came up again when you spoke, "I'll be fine, it just means he's excited. That means a lot to me."

You were so nice!! The poor guy couldn't believe what he was seeing! Well... What he was hearing, but that doesn't matter. He was happy.

Suddenly something inside you started to- not hurt but- it was uncomfortable. Not unbearable, easily ignored.

But physical.

It didn't worry you, you've felt plenty of sudden pain in your chest for no reason in the past. Enough to determine that it wasn't anything, say, dangerous.

"Well it's getting rather late. Not like that's bad or anything, since the plan was to just party. But there's no party,"  said Skids.

Chromedome agreed. You could see how he nodded while looking a Rewind sincerely. "It's best me and Rewind go recharge then, its always good to get some extra sleep."

He took Rewind's hand, and they stood up, taking their leave. "Goodbye (y/n), it was nice meeting you!" Waved Rewind.

Slowly, everyone started to leave too. Rodimus left you behind, since you were having a conversation with Swerve.

And then you were left alone with Swerve. After a while he seemed to notice how you yawned, signaling that you were getting sleepy.

"Okay I think that's enough for today. Do you know where Rodimus's hab-suite is?" He asked.

You shook your head no, because how are you supposed to know where someone else's room is in just one day, and don't even get me started on how big this ship is.

"Do you want me to... Bring you there?" Swerve asked unsure.

He hoped you would say yes. This way you could talk more, get to know eachother. He'll get to know more about you. So when you nodded, he practically jumped from his seat and picked you up.

He was so excited, he forgot to slow down to have the chance to talk with you, and ran immediately towards your and Rodimus's hab-suite. Suddenly realising that he messed up his chance.

"So uh... Will you come to my bar tomorrow? Not that you have to offcourse, it would be just nice to see you again. N-not in a weird way," He asked.

"I'll do my best to come over." You smiled.

Swerve smiled back and slowly put you down on the ground so you could ender your shared room with Rodimus. With one final wave, he left.

And you went to sleep.

______________

A/n: Sorry for not posting this chapter first and spoiling the story, also sorry for the way this text is written, I copy pasted it from my wattpad. (Whitch is "Polarvera" btw, I always post the chapters there first so you can get a look. Plus its easier to read my story-)

Tags come later I think?

[officially-tonynat-shrine]

Anything You Sing

A/N: Ok, so this was originally an ask from @shamelessbookaddict so credit goes to her. The ask: Bicth just imagining singing good ol bollywood songs to peter; him not understanding a word but loving it anyway; bruce just smirking at you when you sing something romantic

So I decided to shift the fic here instead of directly answering the ask. So if at all I make a master list, this would be helpful :D also, here is the audio of the song I used, if you want to sing along! The singer is male and I haven't changed the few lines in the song indicating the gender of the singer in the fic. I wanted to stay as true to the song as possible!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Indian!reader

Summary: You confess your love by singing a song

Warnings: the word 'fuck' twice? // Words: idk man, I didn't count

••••

Peter was having a bad day. A very, very bad day. School was hectic. He had lots of homework pending due to night patrol (totally his fault, actually. And he knew it. So he couldn't blame anyone else). His sleep schedule was an absolute mess because he would stay up when ever he got the chance to finish off his projects and models. His attention span in classes was now that of a fucking squirrel on crack and he had gone to the principal's office twice already.

Just when he had thought that things couldn't get worse, he had dozed off in yet another Biology lecture. Usually, the teacher would let him off the hook because he was a bright student and could easily catch up. So Peter tended to doze off for a few minutes trying to complete eight hours of sleep in five minutes. But today, it was a very important lecture going on and the Ms. Mason had strictly informed the class that everybody had to be attentive. Of course, Peter had to doze off. Unfortunately, he had been caught. Ms. Mason's disapproving glare was enough for him to believe that he had committed the ultimate betrayal. He was now very close to the Avengers' Tower, and he had already mentally hit himself a hundred times.

Peter just hoped that for the love of God and everything Holy, you was there. You were the only other Avenger who was his age. Of course, there was also Shuri, his homegirl, but currently, she was miles away in Wakanda. The three of you always shared a close bond and he could only hope that his bond with you would be much closer. He was a blushing mess when it came to you.

He entered the Tower heading directly for the elevator when he heard your voice.

"Pete! Hey, Spidey! Wait up!"

He turned around to see you bounding towards him. You threw your arms around him bringing him into a tight hug. You had missed him. He could understand that by the way you stood so close to him, able to listen to his heart beat rise. He hugged you back with the same enthusiasm as yours. Unable to hold back a sigh, he snuggled his face deeper into your neck.

You stepped back- not leaving his arms, he noticed, blushing wildly- and asked him with furrowed brows, "What happened, Pete?"

He smiled at you, grateful that he had someone like you who could understand him so easily. God, sometimes he just wanted to take you in his arms and cuddle forever.

"Nothing. It's just that school is turning quite hectic now-a-days."

You studied him for a moment, eyes taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the weary, tired smile he gave you. His brown eyes, usually sparkling with delight and excitement, now held exhaustion.

"Okay, that's it. You and I are going upstairs to the common room and you are going to sleep on the couch. I know you won't sleep in your room. You'll probably start doing your homework. And no arguments!" You shut him down before he could protest. Dragging him into the elevator you asked FRIDAY to take you to the common room.

"(Y/N)."

"Hmm?"

"(Y/N)!!!!!"

"What Peter?" You snapped at him. It had been half an hour since you had forcefully made him go to sleep on the couch and fifteen minutes since he had started whining about how he was not feeling sleepy.

He was sprawled on the big, grey couch, and in the short span of thirty minutes had somehow managed get tangled in the pillows and cushions placed. His head was dangling from the corner of the couch as lay on his stomach, left hand on the ground supporting his body. His right hand was somewhere in between a pillow and his head and one leg was on the couch's headrest. It was certainly a view for you. You sat at the opposite end of the couch, the book you had brought with you long forgotten.

"You know I can't sleep anywhere other than my bed unless there is music."

He didn't know how he got the confidence. He had been contemplating about asking you to sing to him while he sleeps but was too scared to see how you would react. Perhaps it was his sleepiness which made him bolder, the lack of sleep affecting his control over his speech. But it had not completely taken over him. He tried to fight the urge to just spew out his feelings for you.

"Music? What kind of music do you want to hear?"

"Anything you sing."

Now he really wanted to slap himself. He had really gone and done that. This was worse than spewing out his feelings for you. Now he was never going to get to cuddle you because he was too sleep deprived to think before he said anything and you were gonna slap him across the face and walk away-

"Peter stop panicking. Peter! Are you okay?"

You were stunned when he had asked you to sing. You weren't expecting him to be this forward. You had your suspicions on whether or not he liked you but you never acted upon your feelings and the innate desire to just ask him out in the fear of being rejected. There had been instances when you thought that maybe he reciprocated your feelings but then he would say something and you would immediately start questioning yourself. So you stood in the sidelines, trying to get closer to him so that you can understand him, only to fall more for him. Now, here he was, panicking and shaking, about to fall from that goddamn couch, pillows and all, and you didn't know whether he was just sleepy or actually liked you. So much for understanding him.

"Look, I- I, (Y/N)-"

"If you want me to sing, I can." You smiled through your stupidity and tried to stop from strangling yourself with a rope.

His eyes lit up as he groggily pushed himself up from the other end of the couch and slid towards you.

"Thanks, (Y/N). You are the best." He replied, placing his head on your lap. Consequences be damned, he was already getting detention tomorrow. Might as well do this.

You stilled, trying to form coherent thoughts. Stumbling through your words, you finally relaxed and placed your hand on his head.

Running your fingers through his hair, you decided on the first song that came to your mind.

"FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Ms. (L/N)?"

"If anyone passes by and asks you to translate the song I'm about to sing, don't do it, please."

"Of course, ma'am."

"Also, can you play the instrumental for the song when I start singing? Keep the volume at minimum."

"Okay, Ms. (L/N)."

Peter snuggled into your lap as you cleared your throat.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara"

"Is that Hindi? What does it mean?" Peter asked sleepily.

You smiled at him. "Sleep, Petey."

FRIDAY started playing the instrumental.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara"

What did you mean to do, when you touched my heart so?

"Badala ye mausam, lage pyara jag saara"

The seasons changed, and the world seems beautiful!

"Chookar, mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

"Tu jo kahe jeevan bhar, tere liye mai gaaun"

If you say so, I'll sing for you for a lifetime.

"Tere liye mai gaaun"

I'll sing for you.

"Geet tere bolon pe, likhta chala jaaun"

I can keep on writing music from what you speak

"Likhta chala jaaun"

I can keep on writing...

"Mere geeton mei, tujhe dhoondhe jag saara"

In my songs, the world will search for you.

"Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

You rocked him as you sang, his soft, content snores filling you with satisfaction. A smile made it's way on your face without you even realising it.

"Aaja tere aanchal ye, pyaar se mai bhar du"

Come, I'll fill your arms with love.

"Pyaar se mai bhar du"

I'll fill it with love.

"Khushiyan jahabhar ki, tujhko nazar kar du"

I'll gift you all the happiness in the world

"Tujhko nazar kar du"

I will gift you..

"Tu hi mera jeevan, tu hi jeene ka sahaara"

You are my life, you are my reason to live.

"Chookar mere mann ko kiya tumne kya ishara. Badala ye mausam, lage pyaara jag saara."

"Chookar mere mann ko kiya tumne kya ishara."

Closing your eyes, you smiled. Oh the things you would do to stop time at this very moment. You wanted to live in this moment forever.

"That was amazing."

You shrieked, not expecting anyone to be around. You turned, trying to see how many people heard you, groaning when you see almost all the Avengers.

"Why didn't you guys say anything?!" You whisper, trying not to disturb Peter who was sound asleep on your lap.

"Well, you were amazing. And we wouldn't want to awake Pete, now would we?" Tony answered.

"Okay, fair enough."

"What does that mean?"

You blanched. You had hoped this won't come up. You looked at Steve who had asked the question, face filled with confusion just like the rest of them. Of course, they were asking about the song's meaning. Something you'd rather eat shit than having to tell them.

"Nothing. It meant nothing. It's just a song I like." You lied, your tone firm with finality.

"Okay, if you won't answer, I'll ask FRIDAY. Hey, FRIDAY, what did the song that (Y/N) sang mean?"

You swore to God you had never felt so proud of yourself in that moment.

"Sorry, boss. But Ms. (L/N) has asked me to not translate it to anyone."

"What?! I'm the boss here, FRIDAY. Come on. You can't say no to me."

"Sorry, boss. Ms. (L/N) requested to not translate it to anyone. And you fall under that category."

Bucky snorted at Tony's appalled gasp. Nat was trying so hard not to laugh. Sam did not even bother to hide his laughter. Your smile widened, before it dropped. Bruce. Bruce was smiling directly at you. Fuck. He knew. Obviously, he knew. You begged for mercy, mouthing how grateful you will be if he could just shut his mouth and not tell anyone. He snorted before obliging. But you could see his gears turn. And you thought Bruce was the person who did not meddle in people's matters at all. You shook your head. You could talk to him later.

"Hey, doesn't Bruce know Hindi?"

"No!"

[nowandgenpad]

Elopement || Hemslecki (Nov 01)

Chris: Vegas. The place where what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Only that proved difficult when someone as known as him walked through the airport and hotel. It was no short effort of asking fans for his privacy and that he'd take pictures with pretty much each and everyone that he could reasonably manage if they kept it off Twitter, Instagram and any other social media for at least 48 hours. He didn't need anything ruining Gen and his wedding. Especially if someone found out that could potentially try and ruin things. It seemed to take forever just to manage his way to the hotel front desk and ask for one of the private presidential suites on its own floor, wanting as much privacy as possible.

Gen: Were they moving fast? Maybe, but Gen was at the point in her life where if she wanted something she was going to do it. She had devoted her life to Jared and the kids, relocated to Austin so Jared could be in his home and now she wanted to live her life for her. She and Jared weren't poor but they certainly didn't have money like Chris seemed to. When they walked into the huge suite she walked over to the window to look at the view. "You know you don't have to spend all your money on me," she meant it too. She was a simple girl and was after love, not material things.

Chris: "Today and the next few days are special, I wanted the whole package." Once Chris set his mind to something he did it. "Annnd a little secret I've stayed here before, Chris Hemsworth spotted at this hotel at some point at the end of our trip, good publicity for them, and I get some perks out of my job." It wasn't like he got the room for free but certainly not at the price that anyone else would pay. He didn't do it often but it happened and for this occasion he'd accept it. "Enjoy it, it's our night. Whatever we want, it's ours." He smiled.

Gen: Gen felt very overwhelmed with the happiness that kept washing over her. She turned around to look at him and smiled, "I'm going to take a quick shower and change into my dress." She had packed a simple white dress for the occasion, not needing anything fancy or flashy.

Chris: Nodding he moved over to his own suitcase and dug out the simple suit he had picked out for himself. It wasn't fancy, just a navy blue jacket and pants with a simple white button up. "We have to go pick out wedding bands before. Hopefully find something nice that'll go with your ring." He said as she headed toward the bathroom.

Gen: "Something very plain and simple would be ideal for me since I have this beautiful rock already. Maybe we can find two matching rings we both like." She kept the bathroom door opened while she showered and started to dry off. She only washed her body so her hair was still dry and it only took a minute to wipe down her body. A few minutes later she was dressed and putting her shoes on. She went over hair with the flat iron and touched up her makeup. "I'm ready."

Chris: "I'm sure we can find something, Vegas jewelers have everything it seems." He said now that he was dressed. Making sure to make everything look presentable he turned to see Gen. "You look beautiful." He said pecking her cheek softly. "This is your time to back out and change your mind. If not you're stuck with me for good." He grinned teasing the brunette.

Gen: She blushed when he kissed her cheek, "I'll gladly be stuck with you for good...or until you decide to leave me like the last guy." She kept her tone light, she was trying to joke, but deep down there was a layer of heartache there. She had been a hopeless romantic all her life but when Jared left she became a little bitter and cynical. Grabbing her purse she headed toward the door, "Let's go hubby."

Chris: "Well my records pretty good, I technically didn't leave my last wife, she left me after I pushed having more children. So you know, I think I'm a pretty damn good catch. Maybe I need to watch out for you." He grabbed her hand gently. "There's one thing we have to talk about first and I don't even want to, you're not this person. But to be fair I spoke to my family, I told them I was getting married and they're happy for me, and then I talked to my lawyer." He sighed, "They think it's in our best interest to each sign a prenup..." he paused. "I said I wasn't worried at all, but they think the general bases should be what we both had before the marriage remains ours and anything after the marriage we will divide in the best sake of the children involved. I don't plan on divorcing you, and I don't think you're in this for the money. So if you don't want to, I'll take it. But I had to let you know because I don't want you to meet my attorney and him ask and it be awkward that I didn't say anything."

Gen: She was a little taken aback by his words. Not that he wanted her to sign a prenup but because he had told people what they were doing. "You told your family? I thought we were keeping it between us until we left Vegas...I didn't tell anyone except Dani and only because it was her idea." Part of her had felt like she needed to tell Jared beforehand but she had kept it to herself from everyone. She was bummed but at the same time she figured he was excited and not ashamed to be marrying her if he was broadcasting it to everyone. "I'll sign if you think it's important."

Chris: "By family I mean my parents, I love you but I am not walking into my mum and have hidden that. She raised three rowdy boys, she can still take me." He said, "Besides that Liam doesn't even know, he just knows we're engaged." He hoped she understood but his mum was one of the closest people he had, closer to her than his dad and him and his dad were close. "And they're not gonna say anything. They're just excited at the prospect of more grandchildren." He sighed, "With Elsa I had nothing when we married, I was barely in the business so we were together when I became something. Which is why the divorce was messy in the beginning. I don't think you want me for my money, i feel like you would have shown that if that was the case." He murmured, "I do...like the part that says things will be divided in the best interest of the children though. Should anything happen, I mean maybe down the road you're unhappy with me...I would never not make sure you're okay."

Gen: Gen had her own money from her days on Wildfire and the short time she had spent on Supernatural. She also had some money that she got in the divorce from Jared, not a lot, but enough to get by and now with all the sponsors she had for her blog, she was doing really well for herself. "I'm too scared to tell my parents until after we're married, but I understand you wanting to tell yours." She shook her head, "First of all, I don't ever foresee a time When I'm going to be unhappy with you and second, I'm not a materialistic person. I couldn't even buy myself a necklace a couple weeks ago, though now I wish I had, it would have looked good with this dress," she giggled. "I just want you, Chris."

Chris: "Is your father going to do the whole threaten to shoot me and make me disappear if I ever hurt you kind of thing?" he teased, "My parents and I have always told each other everything I'm not sure I could have fully agreed with this if I hadn't told them but I should have told you first. My mum is excited to meet you." He said, "I know you're not materialistic, I know you're in this for the marriage. I'm just being honest in what my lawyer is requesting." He gave a small smile, "I know it seems like it's not trusting you and I hope you do know that I do but to get the lawyer off my back what if we sign a base minimum one. Just stating what I said earlier everything we had before the marriage will remain each of ours. Your home in Austin mine in Australia." He offered. "Then anything else I don't care about because I don't foresee anything happening. I just wanna make sure everything is no bumps in the road. Just like I double checked three times the place we're going to get married to make sure they're not some half assed place and suddenly we're not actually married.

Gen: "Do you have this prenup with you? It's not much of a prenup if it's not signed before the wedding." Once they were married she could decide not to sign it, that's why it was usually done way in advance. She didn't want to sign, but if it meant she got to marry Chris she would.

Chris: "It's in an email my lawyer sent me." He said walking over to his phone and unlocking it. "I can print it and they can have a witness sign it before anything." He didn't like the idea but he understood where his lawyer was coming from and after his divorce with Elsa he understood a lot more of what went into a high profile divorce. "Unless this is going to upset you. I'm not trying to do that." He said softly.

Gen: She shrugged, "It kind of ruined the mood to be honest." She still wanted to go through with the marriage though so she finished her walk to the door. "I guess we could go find the business center and use the printer."

Chris: "We don't have to right now then, we can wait til later. I couldn't exactly ask you after we were married." Which was true and he knew that. The talk with his lawyer had only been earlier so really this had been the only time. "There's one up here, office room off the side of the hall." He said pointing.

Gen: "Might as well get it over with. Print it out and take it with us...sign it when we sign the certificate." She certainly understood where he was coming from and didn't want him to feel like she was only with him for the possibility of getting his money one day, but the conversation also erased some of the blissful high she had been feeling. She stepped into the hallway and let him lead her to the office.

Chris: He knew she was upset and he wasn't exactly happy. Pressing the wireless print from his phone that he had connected just then to the printer he lead her into the office. Closing the door behind her while it printed he pressed her body up against the door and kissed her hard. His mouth lingering on hers before biting down on her lip. His hands tangled in her hair. "This changes nothing, I want you because I love you, Gen. It's just a piece of paper. I love /you/." He breathed against her lips.

Gen: Gen wasn't expecting him to pin her against the door but she was happily surprised by it. She moaned into his mouth, feeling her panties already getting damp. "I love you too, Chris. I know it is. It's not about the paper." If they had a real wedding she would have been told about the prenup then had time to get over it before the big day but they were literally on their way to get married and she lost a bit of her smile when the legality stuff came into the mix. She didn't want to think about the legal nonsense when all she wanted was to be in his arms as his wife. "If you keep this up I'm going to have to go change my panties."

Chris: He nodded, as he pulled back and went to grab the documents and folded them up and tucked them into his coat pocket. It was just paper, for both their best interest. That's all that mattered, "Oh," he pouted, "And here I thought you'd wear nothing but a sexy lingerie bra underneath."

Gen: She smirked, "If I did that you'd have me dripping down my leg." It was crazy to her how much the man in front of her turned her on, not even Jared had brought out this level of lust within her. "But who said I'm wearing a bra at all?" She winked.

Chris: "Well I don't think they'd be a comfortable feeling for you so I guess they can stay on." He murmured. "That will work, I love everything about your body so that gives me something to look forward to tonight." Grabbing her ass he pulled her forward. "Come on, we may have all night but I wanna celebrate our night.

Gen: She giggled and kissed him lovingly. She was ready for them to leave the casino and go to where they were getting married so they could hurry back here to the room. When she pulled away she opened the door and headed back down the hall to the elevator.

Chris: It didn't take long to get down to the lobby where he had ordered a driver for them for the night. He figured they needed to have at least one or two drinks to celebrate their new marriage. Taking her hand they were ushered privately into the car wanting to keep it under wraps until the very last possible moment.

Gen: Gen sat close to him in the car, keeping her hand in his. She wasn't nervous, more excited than anything. It seemed fitting to her that they were getting married on the first of the month, start the month off right. Arriving at the place they exited the car and started walking inside. "I hope there's not a lot of people in there."

Chris: "So we have to get the marriage license, this signed, and we should be good to go. Something tells me we're not gonna have to wait long. Oh wait..." he said, "We need to stop at the jeweler inside first before anything." He had made every arrangement possible to make this smooth and under the radar as possible. "We have the store to ourselves for the hour so don't feel like you have to rush either."

Gen: "Did you buy out the whole place for while we're here so we have total privacy?" She asked curiously as they made their way into the empty jewelry store. There were a few workers but no customers. Gen's eyes scanned the room until she found the wedding bands and headed over to the case. It didn't take long before she spotted a set of platinum bands, "I like these."

Chris: "Buy out seems so...Beyonce. I just simple explained who I was and they undersood the need for privacy." He didn't want her to think he had spent an outrageous amount of money. Most people were fair to deal with him just because they wanted to help with his privacy. Following her around he moved forward seeing the different bands. Some simply just a thin band of platinum, others with a few diamonds and others and entire diamond covered band. Luckily they had men's bands to match. "Which one do you like best?"

Gen: "I like the plain one. The one with the small diamonds is pretty but this is such a huge diamond," she said motioning to her engagement ring. "I want something simple. We don't have to get matching ones if you want to pick out something more you."

Chris: "It's whatever you want." Whatever she picked out would be hers. "Don't feel like you can't get the one you want." He said. He knew himself would only go with a simple band with maybe a little something fancier than a plain band since this is all he would wear. Seeing the one ring he tapped the glass and he pulled the ring out. Luckily the man would be able to size it for them on the spot in the store thanks to paying extra.

Gen: Gen picked out her ring, it was like his but didn't have the diamonds on it. While they waited for the rings to be sized she opened her phone to play with snapchat. "I look adorable with this filter."

Chris: "You look adorable all the time." He said leaning against the counter. "My kids love when I play with the filters, though no one knows about my secret snapchat." He grinned.

Gen: She squinted her eyes at him, "You have snapchat and you haven't added me? I'm highly offended."

Chris: "It wouldn't be a secret if I just gave it out." He scoffed. As if it actually was this big deal. "Couldn't have my kids missing out on the cute filters."

Gen: "But I'm your wife," she playfully pouted at him. Finding a filter she loved she moved so she was standing partially in front of him and made sure the filter hit both of their faces before she took the picture. "This will be my favorite picture from the day we got married." She smiled.

Chris: "You're about to be my wife, not quite yet. Wait til it's official. I don't wanna go jinxing anything." He laughed. He let her move in front of him and smiled when she positioned the camera with whatever filter she had picked out. "Just this picture? They take photos at the actual ceremony too." He knew they weren't as fancy as someone having a big wedding but he figured when they had a party to celebrate maybe they could have a beach celebration back in Australia with all the kids and family, give her the true look at his life down under.

Gen: "I've thought of myself as your wife since the second you put this ring on my finger." She told him honestly. "I'm sure I'll like all the photos but this one will probably be my favorite."

Chris: Pressing a kiss to the top of her head he checked his watch and not long after the man came out carrying their rings in a bag tied with a ribbon. Chris paid before taking Gen's hand. "Just a few pieces of paper and we're getting married." He said as he escorted her out and toward the area where any documents that would need to be signed and sealed would be taken care of.

Gen: Walking into the other part of the building they signed all the paperwork that needed to be signed, the only thing that would be left to do would be sign the actual certificate once they were married. Before she knew it they were standing in front of the officiant and she was saying, "I do."

Chris: Any and all information was signed, including the prenup, and sealed ready to bring them into their new life together. he was sure once media outlets found out that this was the case it would be a different story. Still he didn't care. He heard Gen's I do and soon after he said "I do." Slipping the thin platinum band onto Gen's finger.

Gen: Because of how fast this was there was a part of her that wondered if he'd back out but hearing him say I do made all her worries disappear. She put his ring on his finger, they both said vows and then the officiant pronounced them husband and wife and Gen stood there waiting for him to kiss his bride.

Chris: Leaning in he cupped the back of Gen's head and pressed his lips firmly against hers. They were now married. It was crazy but he couldn't see anything else but their happiness as his lips caressed hers.

Gen: All she wanted was to keep on kissing him but they were in front of people and it wasn't the right time. She smiled into the kiss though, overjoyed that they were married. On their way out they signed the last document, the certificate that was basically all the marriage was. All they would have needed to do was sign this paper and they were legally married. As soon as it was signed and they made sure they had their copies of everything, they took a few pictures, had a glass of champagne and then they were back in the car. "I don't know if you had something planned for after the ceremony but I really want to go back to the hotel room."

[conklin03]

just kinda hurts today. yesterday was nice, i managed to get up and do something productive for the entire day, and the weather was nice, but today, the task is already done. so now i have to find something else productive to do. i'm obviously not capable of doing that, so i'm just gonna rant for a bit, if that's alright (if it isn't, feel free to block me or something lol). i wish my brain could properly pour out what it's thinking. i knew how i wanted to start this, but i'm just not good at brain-to-screen transmission. though, i'll try. i kinda just feel like a failure, but who am i supposed to take the standards of success and failure from even? i'm still alive, aren't i? but, everything i do, and everything i can't do, is looked at as a failure by society. by them. the hypocrites who preach about mental health but couldn't give a care in the world once you've fallen. they're glad to hold your hand, but they'll never pick you up. they want someone who can act as a model for the depths of mental disasters, but who at the same time can function and take part in society. now, mind you, without a licensed professional i'm not going to actually assume anything about my mental health and it's labels. do i have a lot of the symptoms of some disorders? sure. but like hell am i going to assume i actually do, because that would be giving myself a break. that would let my brain think that maybe this isn't all my fault, but we can't have that. i can't say something positive about myself like that. i can't look at myself as someone struggling with the weight of the world, someone who needs help holding it up, i can only look at myself as someone who's supposed to just be fine at all times and be there for everyone else. i hate hypocrisy, and thus, i hate myself. and it's so tempting to say i hate everyone else as well. i hate all the eyes on me. all the assumptions of who i am, all the standards that i am built to uphold. i want to die the most when i actually do uphold one of these standards, because it makes me just another dumb little shit who acts just like the rest of them. it proves them right, that i'm not supposed to be my own conscious person, because i was born into this world. that's it. that's the only reason. i was born into this world against my will and it was just assumed i would take that with pride and be happy with my life. it was assumed that i would be subconsciously pushed to understand that my life is worth something, but it fucking isn't. i'm not worth anything to anyone but myself. sure, maybe i'm a pet you can keep around to help out, but you'd get over it. my life, my existence, and my happiness only matters to me. i would inevitably be replaced in the eyes of someone else, but i would be forever gone in the eyes of myself. but, is it better to play the game, to live this life that i'm unhappy with, in this body that i despise, living with the constant need to find something, anything, to make my life happy again? or would it be better to just shutdown, and prove everyone wrong. to prove to everyone that i was never happy. that you can't just ignore it and it'll go away. or, and maybe this is the correct option, i should break out of this, seek help, and do what i want, be who i want, nor be so shackled by the laws of society. but even thinking about that hurts so much. i'm not good with pain. so what the hell do i do. every option seems so scary and unreal, but it's not like i can refuse to choose. i'm so scared. but nobody who can hear me can help me. none of you would get it anyway. nobody would ever get it. that's a blatant damned lie but it feels so true.

[queercapwriting]

I know you have a million prompts in your inbox but if you ever have time, i'm experiencing a lot of biphobia and violence atm (dw i'm safe and far from my partner right now) and it would mean the world if you ever wrote maggie supporting a young bi girl who comes into the station after being abused by a partner. your fics help me so mmuch thank you

She was raised not to trust the police.

How could she? They killed people who looked like her, didn’t they?

But she didn’t know where else to go. Didn’t know what else to do.

And she’d gotten the card – from that boy with the dyed green hair and soft eyes and silver earring, that one time she’d been brave enough to go to the LGBTQ+ Center in town – of a detective that the boy promised would be good to her, would help her.

She hadn’t told him anything was wrong.

He just kind of looked at her, and offered her some water and a place to crash if she needed it.

She declined – her girlfriend would be so damn angry if she didn’t come home on time – and that’s when he gave her the card.

Detective Maggie Sawyer, it said.

So she was raised not to trust the police, but the boy who gave her the card was brown, like her, maybe even bi, like her.

Her stomach rolled around even more than it had last night when her partner had gotten… disappointed in her. Again.

The fights – were they fights, really, if she was the one taking all the blows? mostly emotionally, but sometimes, like last night, physically too? – almost never started about her being bi. 

But they always, somehow, wound up there.

Wound up with her being a slut, with her not knowing what she wants. With her needing to just call it one way or another, with her making her girlfriend constantly feel insecure, and doesn’t she care about her, doesn’t she want to make her feel good, doesn’t she want to make her happy, not make her worry all the time, make her stressed all the time, make her angry like this all the time?

Her nerves – terror, really, is a more accurate way to describe it – makes her feet want to pace in front of the precinct, Detective Maggie Sawyer’s business card in her hands, until she works up the courage to walk in.

But she worries that she’ll get in trouble, somehow. If they think she’s being suspicious, somehow. For existing, for feeling, or whatever.

So she holds her breath and she remember the eyes of that boy with the silver earring, and she makes herself march into the precinct.

She stands, awkward and still and wide-eyed, because no one pays attention to her. There’s a quiet buzzing, and she can’t tell if it’s in her head or just the way the old central air functions in this place.

She thinks about clearing her throat, or saying excuse me, but her throat isn’t working.

She thinks about leaving.

Running away.

Running back to her girlfriend.

No.

“Can I help you?” a man at the front desk finally asks, not much older than her. He barely looks at her, and it at once makes it more and less intimidating: more, because how will she ever get him to take her seriously, but less, because at least he’s not looking at her like she’s going to cause any trouble.

“I… yeah – no – yeah, I…” She shakes her head and clears her throat and holds up the business card like she’s offering up a prayer. Because, really, she is.

“I’m looking for Detective Maggie Sawyer,” she manages, and he barely glances at the card before her smiles lightly.

“One of her strays, huh?” he asks, and his words are distant, but his eyes, now, seem more focused, more kind.

She just shrugs, because what does that even mean?

He chuckles softly. “She’ll take good care of you. Come on, kid, I’ll take you back to her desk.”

She nods silently, follows him silently. “You’re lucky she’s actually here today. Usually out in the field, that one,” he says before stopping in front of the somehow precisely messy desk of a woman with long, dark hair, pulled back in a ponytail, glasses on the bridge of her nose, leaning with a frown and a pen in her mouth into a file on her computer.

“Sawyer,” the officer says, stopping short of clapping her on the shoulder, as though it’s his instinct to do so, but he knows better. “Kid here for you.”

“Adrian?” the woman asks without moving her eyes from the screen, holding up her index finger to tell him to wait a moment.

“No, a newbie.”

That takes the woman out of her seeming trance, and she turns immediately, taking the pen out of her mouth and the glasses off her face as she does so.

“A boy at the Center gave me your card,” the girl rushes to explain, as the officer just nods and slips back to his desk. She doesn’t say what center. She hopes she doesn’t have to.

The detective tilts her head and smiles softly, clearing some papers off a chair at the side of her desk without taking her eyes off the girl’s face. She gestures for her to sit before holding out a hand.

“My name’s Maggie,” she tells her, and the woman’s intense focus, the way the other officer had treated her, makes the introduction not at all what she’d expected. “What’s yours?” She leans forward with her elbows on her knees, her head still tilted, her eyes still soft, her lips still smiling slightly.

“Jacqueline. Uh, Jacqui.” 

Maggie hadn’t stood on the formality of a last name, so Jacqui doesn’t, either.

“Jacqui. And what brings you here today, kiddo?”

Jacqui gulps. She’d practiced what to say.

She had no idea what to say.

Her eyes flood, instead. Her eyes find the ground, instead.

She feels Maggie’s eyes sweeping her body, carefully. She wonders vaguely what it might be like, to be a detective. To be able to tell so much about a person, about a room, by… looking.

She wonders if she would have gotten with her girlfriend if she’d known everything a detective could… well, detect.

“Something easier, then,” Maggie says, her voice soft, her eyes softer. “You hungry?”

Jacqui looks up with a wrinkle in her brow. “I…”

“I am,” Maggie offers, and the interruption doesn’t make Jacqui feel slighted. It makes her, instead, feel held, and she wonders how Maggie learned to do that. 

“My fiancee’s bringing me lunch in a while. She’s amazing at pretty much everything, but she nearly burns down the kitchen at every opportunity. So it’s takeout. Should I ask her to bring you something, too?”

Jacqui’s eyes widen, and her heart thumps louder than normal, harder than normal. 

“Okay,” she whispers, and Maggie smiles and picks up her phone, holding up her index finger again. To call her fiancee. A woman. A woman who, when she picks up her phone, makes Maggie’s eyes glisten. It gives Jacqui the chance to sink into her chair, to get acclimated to sitting her. To prepare what she wants to say. How she wants to explain.

“Hey babe. Yeah. You? Aww, good, sweetie. Listen, hey, do you mind bringing over an extra bit of pizza? Yeah. Thanks so much. I love you, too.”

There’s a beat of silence as Maggie clicks off the phone, and in that beat, Jacqui finds words.

And once they start, they don’t stop.

“I keep disappointing my girlfriend. Things are really hard for her right now; she’s working full time and she has night school, and I’m only working part time, but sometimes I still don’t have time to do everything she asks, and then also I have this friend, and he’s a guy, and we’ve been best friends since middle school, but she doesn’t want me to spend time with him because I’m bi, and I should be less touchy with him, and I should just pull back because it makes her insecure, right, and why would I want to make her feel like I don’t want her? So it makes her angry, because I keep disappointing her, I keep letting her down, and that’s pretty much all the time, except sometimes it’s really great, like we have the best times together, too, we went on vacation last month and it was amazing, and she loves me so much, she just is afraid of losing me, but last night, she…”

Jacqui stumbles to a halt; slams, more like, feeling like she’s talked her way into a brick wall. 

A brick wall with insults on its tongue and cold, solid hands on her cheek.

This whole time, Maggie hasn’t moved. Her facial expression hasn’t changed, and her body hasn’t flinched. If Jacqui were looking at Maggie’s hands, she would see a slight clenching of her right fist. But she’s not looking, because her eyes are blurry, so she only sees Maggie’s stillness, her calmness.

The slight tilt of her head and the sheer warmth in her eyes.

“She?” Maggie prompts, and it’s soft and it’s not judgmental and it’s not calling her stupid for not having left earlier and it’s not calling her anti-feminist for loving her and it’s not calling her fake for being bi and it’s not calling her a bad girlfriend for, sometimes, trying to assert herself.

“I’m wearing a lot of makeup,” Jacqui says finally, and it almost cracks her voice as her eyes flood with shame and she feels like all the eyes of the precinct, of the entire world, are on her. All the fingers, pointing. All the mouths, frowning.

Or, more accurately, yelling.

But she forces her eyes up – up to Maggie’s eyes – and she’s nodding softly, silently. 

“Do you know that none of this is your fault?” she asks after a long, long silence, and Jacqui tries to nod, tries to shake her head, and winds up shrugging, and swallowing a sob.

Maggie’s palm hovers over one of Jacqui’s hands, and Jacqui stares down at it like it’s foreign.

She can’t remember the last time someone asked permission to touch her.

She nods, and warmth courses through her at Maggie’s touch.

“It’s okay that you don’t know. But I know it enough for both of us, for now. None of this is your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. If someone is insecure about you being bi, they need to get over their insecurities and biphobia, not shove them all into you. And I know you love her, and that’s okay. We usually love the people who hurt us most. But that love doesn’t give her the right to hurt you. With her words or with her hands, or with anything. You don’t deserve any of that abuse. Do you know those things?”

Again, Jacqui shakes her head, then nods, then shrugs. 

“You’re not by yourself now, okay? I’m going to help you figure out how to make yourself safe. But the first thing you need to do for me is be at least a little bit proud of yourself for coming in and telling me these things, okay? Can you try to do that for me?”

Jacqui nods, this time. It’s slow and it’s hesitant, but it’s a definite nod. 

Because maybe – just maybe – she can try it for Maggie.

And for herself.