#I'm just sat here watching youtube videos and enjoying them and not getting distracted

[urlbecca]

i love when i suddenly develop a brain that can focus but only at 2am

[standingonabeachatsunset]

Recently, I had registered how much time I spent doomscrolling each day, especially the dreaded insta reels on my phone. I only follow some friends and a handful of artists on there, but the reels are, of course, endless.

The one thing about it that truly boggles my mind is that I didn't even particularly enjoy them. Scrolling through the endless stream of reels on the insta search page served the only purpose of distraction, of "I'm not quite ready for bed yet".

This meant that I caught myself scrolling for an hour while already being in bed "ready to sleep". And sometimes the same thing happened right after I woke up. Again, I didn't actually enjoy it, it felt like it kept me away from having to deal with the real world once I got up.

As a kind-of-sort-of new year's resolution I finally ended this, at least for the time right before and after sleeping. Which, let's face it, gives me almost two extra hours per day I can use for other things. And I'm happy to say that for the last week or so, it has worked and I've already caught myself thinking "Does all of that [on instagram] even matter at all?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that was the moment at which I realised that my desktop basically serves the same thing, it's just masked by some reasonable, necessary, or grown-up things.

Yes, I look up my bank account on my desktop, I do my online purchases there, I get the news from checking news websites there and so on.

But I also look up my timelines from Bluesky, Mastodon, Youtube, Reddit (although I'll kick that one out soon as well), I check the weather, etc etc.

And once I'm caught up, I watch a Youtube video, after which I refresh all the timelines again. And. so. on.

The amount of time I spend each day checking things online over and over or "needing to watch a video", even though I know all of this is not really necessary and keeps me from doing other stuff is staggering.

Once I had checked my browser history for one day, I discovered how many hours(!) I had sat in front of the screen during most of the day with the exact same mindset: I wanted to be distracted by what I considered "important" on the screen so that all other appointments or to-do lists were rendered unimportant enough. Even though they absolutely weren't unimportant at all.

So here I am now, completely re-thinking how I can use my online time more wisely and in a healthier way.

Ironically enough, I check my tumblr timeline twice (rarely 3 times) a day, and not only is that enough without me constantly refreshing it, it is also one of the few timelines I truly enjoy reading. I read tumblr on purpose because I can find absurd tumblr humour, things I can learn, entertaining things, as well as thought-provoking stuff via my well-curated timeline. So tumblr is one of those places I actively seek out to wind down and have a good time.

Tune in next time and see if I succeeded in spending less unnecessary time online and witness the horror of me discovering what I was truly trying to avoid with being online this excessively.

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[hostgalli19]

That Wasn't Dark

This story was inspired by: https://thegirlwhoescapedgallifrey19.tumblr.com/post/188853678488/impersonator-ahwm-theory

Note: For the sake of the story lets say Eric played through AHWM. This story and my Yancy is Eric's Oldest brother are apart of a series so come of the things mentioned in this might not make sense.

Date: 06/11/19. Time: 7:35 pm - 9:04 pm

Yancy was confused when Eric grabbed his left arm and started to make notes in a notebook, looking at his tattoo every now and then. He had no idea where it had come from even though he felt like he should.

"Matthew really out did himself this time. I wonder if the fan's have realised theu didn't actually see Dark in ending 6. I have to say being eaten by a worm things, crushed by a boulder and being shot out of a cannon was rather painful," Eric muttered jotting down a few more notes ignoring the confused looks he was getting from the main egos. Yancy found the smile on Mark's face was unsettling and creepy and made Yancy want to run and hide but he couldn't due to Eric grip on his wrist

"What do you mean Eric? Who's Matthew?" Yancy questioned starting at his little brother, he had been acting strange ever since they had walked into he had walked into the meeting room, wanting to show Yancy and Illinois the "Murder List" and they had found themselves two years in the past. In the middle of a meeting.

Dark had looked like he wanted to murder Eric for what he was saying about Celine being a cold calculating bitch you would do anything and hurt anyone to get what she wanted. Eric hadn't seemed scared or concerned.

"Matthew is the one who created us. Well done Mark, you managed to convince me and any of the fan's that you actually were Dark," Eric answered absentmindedly as he turned to look at Mark whose grin was frankly unnerving as his eyes turned black and red and his image cracked. The person standing behind him was surrounded by a red aura. Yancy shivered scared.

"Thank you. Good to know it worked. I was trying to be convincing. It was Matthew's idea," Mark answered, his two-toned voice sending shivers down Yancy and Illinois spines. There was something threatening about Mark and they weren't quite sure what it was.

"You were. I wonder if they'll notice the difference but then again. I didn't notice it. Likely due to the white suit. Your scarily good at pretending to be Dark. Its kind of alarming really," Eric replied, Yancy and Illinois shared a look wondering what Eric was talking about, they knew there were some things they hadn't been told yet.

"No, I'm just good at pretending to be Dad. Its not the first time I've had to do it. Gotta say though it was a lot of fun and it has been a long time," Mark replied, he looked incredibly pleased with himself, his double still had that unsettling grin on his face. It made Yancy's skin crawl. There was something predatory about it.

"What are you talking about Eric?" Illinois asked cautiously, Eric looked at him, blinking a few times and grabbed Ben's arm with a pleading look. Ben sighed and nodded, projecting a screen above the table and opening a video on YouTube called: A Hiest With Markiplier.

Yancy and Illinois watched in fasinatioj as they went through each video making decisions, Eric grinning when they chose "All Sneaky Like". Not saying anything, just letting them Bim, Dark, Wil, Ed, Howl, Yancy and Illinois chose which path Ben chose. It was amusing watching then react to Mark constantly insisting on splitting up, getting him and themselves killed twice.

The only time he spoke up was to tell them to chose "split up" before the sewer. He sat back and watched there reactions. It was so obvious that it wasn't Dark they were talking to now they he knew. He started to notice the subtle differences.

Mark really was a good actor. They were far to distracted by his white suit and what he was saying to really notice that something wasn't right. There was only a slight amount of blue here and there in the glitch effects but it was mostly red. If had really been Dark then they aura around him would have been red and blue.

Ben paused the video and turned to look at Mark who was watching them with that creepy predatory look and unsettling smile. A cold chill of fear ran his spine. There wasn't mu that could normally scare him but there was something very … unnerving and unsettling about that look.

Mark's double flickered before disappearing and the cold fear and tension in the room disappeared making the egos present blink, confused as to how Mark had managed to do that. Dark was staring at Mark in wonder, he had known Mark was good but he hadn't thought he was that good at pretending to be him. He had actually felt nervous and tense.

If that was what people felt when they first met him them he blame them for being a nervous suttering mess that couldn't string two sentences together let alone words. Normally he usef it to his advantage ut god it made him feel uncomfortable. Likely not as uncomfortable as the other wgos but it was an unpleasant.

"That, is what I'm talking about. That wasn't Dark in the video. Ben, search A Date With Markiplier. There are two videos in that series that should show you what I mean," Eric answered, Ben nodded and opened two more tabs quickly searching how to get to the two videos Eric was after.

It was only after Ben had played the two videos several times did they realise what Eric was getting at. That hadn't been Dark in the "Ignorance is Bliss" ending of A Hiest With Markiplier but Mark.

They knew he was an actor who particular ability was to become whatever character he was playing. So much so they wouldn't realise they were talking to Mark. They had fallen for his act. They had believed he was Dark in AHWM.

"I'd have to ask Matthew but I'm guessing AHWM is before ADWM. The reason for going on the date is because you didn't manage to steal the "box". Your wearing almost the exact same suit in AHWM as you are in a ADWM," Eric commented, Mark laughed and nodded. Matthew had told him this was before ADWM even though Mark hadn't get recorded that.

That was the strange thing about the UpsideDown, this happened out of order. They were outside of time. Time passed faster in the UpsideDown then it did in the human world.

One month in the human world was 10 years in the UpsideDown. Google had two clocks. One for the human world and one for the UpsideDown. That way they wouldn't lose track of time which was very easy.

It disorienting at times. Like now. Mark had no idea what happened in ADWM because it hadn't happened for him but it had happened for Efic but he knew it wouldn't be too long before he was caught up on things.

"I would think so. ADWM hasn't happened for me yet but it has for Eric. Its one downside of being tossed around like a pinball in an arcade machine. I can either end up in the future or the past. This is the future. ADWM hasn't happened for me or Dark yet. We'll return to our correct time soon enough. Its somethign you get used to. It happens with alarming regularity," Mark answers grinning, Dark nodded.

Eric watched as the egos continued to pay through AHWM, only offering clues when he saw they were struggling. He did them they could "go back" to the previous video if they happen to did and go the other path. It was something he greatly enjoyed.

He knew Matthew was going to be pleased when Eric told him. There was a lot more he needed to tell Yancy and Illinois but that could wait until Dark and Mark were back and completely caught up on recent events.

He couldn't help but wonder if things were always going to be this crazy or if they were going to settle down a little. He didn't really knowand that what made it so interesting.

Part 1: https://thegirlwhoescapedgallifrey19.tumblr.com/post/188814645188/yancy-is-erics-oldest-brother