#I'm just posting here because Sondheim is such a big part of it

[winderlylandchime]

I cannot believe that everyone can tell that my brother is dumb enough to actually think about making Randy his therapist. Even my neighbor when I told her went ‘oh he would totally be his client if he lived close by.’

Honestly I still can’t believe he is retiring. I’m very happy for him that he is doing something with his life that he believes will bring him joy and stability but fuck does it hurt a little. I think the trouble I’m having is because I’ve seen him on the show/interviews and now podcast so it’s very strange to imagine him being all serious and professional. Hopefully this doesn’t mean we will never see him again. But i hope he has a successful career and that he enjoys it while also helping people.

I feel like Gale probably has to do some normal-ish type of jobs but I feel like he would maybe go for theatre and either teach it or something to do with that. I mean i don’t even know what part of the country the guy lives in so I think that probably has a lot of say in what he’s doing with his career. I did tell my brother that IF anybody were to give us a proof of life for him it will probably be Robert for birthday posts.. Hopefully Robert gets my message from the universe and delivers us some proof of life.

And as for my brothers collection of purses: it’s not a very big collection, he only uses it for “special occasions” like two weeks ago when he went to a mechanic for his car or a doctor check up but i think he has like 5. Two of them i know are small sized black ones (enough only for a wallet/keys/phone) because he made me buy him one for his bday. And I know one of them is a screaming yellow color because ‘sometimes you need a pop of color’. But the reason he actually started using them was because 12-15ish years ago, his friends and him were going to Pride and none of them decided on an outfit that had pockets. So one day he was at a mall and he found a purse with a rainbow on it (i teased him that it was pride merch but he swears it was a sign from the universe) so he bought it for Pride so that him and his friends could put their wallets/keys inside. I wish i was joking when I say that the hetero himbos who went to pride just to accompany me, treated this accessory as if he was the biggest genius they ever met. My brother actually said to my mom ‘yooo why didn’t you tell me about this luxury? There’s so much space for stuff in here! I can even put snacks in here.’

As for the qaf dvds, one of our cousins actually does have them but he forgot about that and tbh I think she is waiting to tell him because she knows he would try to steal them. But I wouldn’t put it past him to actually succeed in finding them on ebay or something, he is stubborn enough.

The funny thing is, dear sweet anon, Randy would kind of be the perfect therapist for your brother since all his angst right now is about QAF and one of the few people with actual answers is Randy.

My biggest fear about Randy as a therapist is less than people have seen him naked and having very realistic simulated sex on Showtime and more that on the podcast he gave his opinions about pop culture and he's such a snob! I don't want my therapist to think less of me because I have brain rot for a TV show or I like a musical that's not (gasp!) Sondheim... and he totally gives that vibe on the pod.

I do think Gale lives in LA. Or at least that's what I last heard. Which means there's a million ways to make money that's entertainment industry adjacent.

I love that your brother and his hetero himbos accompanied you to Pride and brought a communal purse and then marveled at it. Without for a moment considering why their outfits didn't have pockets and why most women's clothing doesn't have pockets. And why purses are necessary at all. (TBH I carry a big mom bag because I have anxiety and what if I need... water, advil, a bandaid, a hairbrush, a protein bar, a change of clothes, etc while I'm out?)

I think the DVDs are definitely available on eBay! They might just cost an arm and a leg. Just typing that I feel like I'm dooming your brother to an accident involving his arm and/or leg. Tell him to be careful!

[youarestellarverse]

I'm going to tell a bit of a personal story.

There was a boy in my theater group. I'm going to call him Frank, because our relationship is largely what I'm using as a basis for future Frazel. Frank was shy and huge— I think he's like 6'3 now?— and stunningly beautiful, curly dark hair and luminous green eyes. He was one of the sweetest, kindest human beings I've ever known.

(I went to see the premiere of The Return of the King with him and for some reason we were talking about arachnophobia and he gets this look on his face of deep concern and goes in his sweet, soft voice, "You're frightened of spiders? ...I'll tell you when to close your eyes.")

He and I sang All I Ask Of You at a talent show thing one year. We got cast opposite each other whenever there was any opportunity to, because our chemistry was, if I do say so myself, the best chemistry between any pair of actors in the entire group. He was the Duke Orsino to my Viola and The Baker to my Baker's Wife.

We dated for a week when we were thirteen, but he was so shy he couldn't speak to me. Our entire romantic relationship was literally just us sitting next to each other in silence IRL, while he wrote the most beautiful lovely emails that made me feel like a goddamn princess. (And he still did, even after we broke up and it turned platonic. Just, his specific form of kindness and thoughtfulness was unlike anything I've seen before or since.)

Too much stress for him to continue, we discovered we were better as good friends...but like, I think if we lived in Ye Olden Dayes, we might have gotten married. We both had feelings for each other, we just knew from experience that when you're in youth theater and you date your costars things tend to turn sour really fast.

I kinda wish we could have played Anthony and Johanna. He could have done it. He had this absolutely incredible baritone— clear as a bell and always dead-on with his pitch and wonderfully emotive and rich. He could sing tenor parts and shake the fucking rafters with his high notes, but when he sang baritone I swear the birds stopped to listen.

One time when we were like sixteen, we were hanging out at our friend's house, and it was just him and me by their standup piano, and we were dicking around and he went through his entire range for me and he had five octaves. FIVE. THAT'S OBSCENELY HUGE. He has a wider range than Freddie Mercury!

Literally one of the most talented singers I've ever met.

And I think about him a lot, and about how much fun we had together and how I was going through a horrifically traumatic situation at the time, but Frank was there, and he's a huge, huge part of why I still have positive memories from my teenage theater years.

And that wouldn't have happened the same way without Stephen Sondheim.

I'm sure we would have been cast in something else, but Into The Woods was just...magic. We were perfect. I wouldn't have been a quarter as good without his voice floating around mine or his comedic timing snapping in at the exact right moments to make the audience cry laughing with our lines.

He literally joined a circus. Last I checked, he was working as an acrobat. I hope he's found bliss beyond measure. He was always on my side. Always.

Hard to see the light now. Just don't let it go. Things will come out right now. We can make it so.

Someone is on your side. No one is alone.

-Stephen Sondheim, 1930-2021