#I'm just overflowing with happiness and gratefulness and love for my friends

[grapejuicegay]

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[reiderwriter]

For some reason my comments don't come through on your posts, but I want to first say I absolutely love your writing and I'm so happy your requests are open!! 🥰😭 So I've had this idea of a fluff mixed with spencer angst where reader is maybe interning at Diana's facility (not a dr yet, studying) and becomes close with Diana by reading, chatting, etc and Spencer over hears it from time to time and the dialogue between spencer and reader gets too close for Spencers comfort, but Diana wants her around more. Thank you again for your hard work okay bye!

A/N: I've never written a fic with Diana in it before, so this was a bit of a challenge for me, bit I enjoyed writing it a lot! Hopefully, this is somewhat like what you wanted!! ❤️

Warnings: Spencer is a bit dense (real) and puts his foot in his mouth (metaphorically, of course).

Diana Reid's son was exactly the way she described him, down to the tiny curls at the base of his neck and the glimmer of intelligence in his eye. 

After four weeks interning at the care facility while working on your medical degree, you'd spent a considerable amount of time with your favorite patient, and her stories about her son were legendary. 

At first, you weren't sure whether to believe the woman when she said her son was a genius with an IQ of 187, three PhDs, and a job in the FBI. She wouldn't be the first schizophrenic patient to muddle up her facts, but she certainly was the sweetest. 

So when you recalled your conversation with the head nurse later that day, she laughed and confirmed every story about Doctor Spencer Reid. Your mouth hung open in shock because surely nobody that incredible could just be out walking the streets. 

Another month of conversations about the man, and you were half in love with him. He wrote his mother letters every day - hand wrote them, even - and she's shown you a few. He'd talked about his friends, his team, his jobs, and how he was saving lives. And when one of the latest ones dropped in the news that he'd be free for a visit soon, you found yourself overflowing with anticipation. 

Of course, you felt like you already knew the man. You knew what his first words were, what his favorite toy was growing up, and even about the exploits of his first date, as pitiful as it was. What you didn't know was if Diana was passing along similar information about you. 

The day Spencer Reid finally showed up, he took your breath away. You were mostly in awe of Diana's ability to describe her son perfectly, though you'd grown fond of her perfectly professional English Lecturer tone of speaking over the last few weeks. She was practically lyrical when talking her son into existence. 

“His hair curls beautifully. He's my little adonis. He keeps it too long though, I'm always telling him he needs to cut it because it hides too much of his face,” she'd told you one day before picking her book up and ignoring you for the next half hour. 

“My Spencer is delightfully tall. He's a little bit spindly like a spider. He's not the most grateful, that's for sure, we used to call him crash because he was always bumping into things. Poetic, right?” 

You knew from the second he walked through the door that this man was him. 

Tall, slightly hunched, clutching his satchel strap in his hand, terrifyingly handsome and making your hand jump into your throat. Definitely him, and definitely a problem. You'd have to check the code of conduct about falling hopelessly for a patient's beautiful son. 

If you had any doubts, this was Spencer in front of you though, when he bumped into a chair just as he was about to reach his mother, it was confirmed. 

“Diana, I believe your Crash is here,” you smiled and giggled, watching her turn quickly to greet her son. 

You, too, gave him a warm smile, but he seemed a little hesitant to return it, instead greeting his mother softly and sitting with her while you retreated slightly to give them some privacy. 

You hovered in the space, as Diana had been talking about introducing the two of you all week, and you didn't want to distress her if she couldn't find you close by. 

But though Spencer was closely attentive and soft with his mother, he took brief pauses to stare almost frustratedly at you. You weren't sure what it was, but something about you was setting Spencer on edge, and that in itself was unsettling you as well. 

“Oh, Spencer, you must meet our Y/N. Y/N, come here, this is my son, Spencer.”

Slightly more apprehensive now, you held out your hand to shake his, “I've heard so much about you  it's nice to finally be seeing you in person, Doctor Reid.” 

He didn't shake your hand, though, but awkwardly waved it off quickly, leaving you to awkwardly replace it by your side. 

“Nice to meet you. Are you a new attendant? I asked all updates about my mother's companions to be confirmed and passed on to me, patient and carers included.” 

His tone was business-like and clipped, and you could see a gentle annoyance settling on his features. 

“I'm sorry, Doctor Reid, I thought Diana would have told you in a letter, or the administration would've passed it on. I'm a medical student on an internship.” You felt like you'd been chastised by an irate parent though he'd at no point raised his voice or indicated in his words any sense of anger at all. His eyes burned across your skin, though, and you felt a flame heat your skin under the weight of his stare. 

“You're mother has told me a lot about you though, she reads me your letters sometimes, between our discussions of Marjorie Kempe.” 

“My letters? Mom, we've talked about this. Those are private.” You looked at the quiet disappointment on Diana's face and felt protective over the woman all of a sudden.

“Please, I'm sorry for overstepping, but your mother is just very proud of you. She talks about you a lot actually, and your job-” 

“With all due respect, Y/N, the last time my mother talked to a new friend about me, he traveled to Virginia and shot one of my friends, so this really is a conversation I'd rather not be having.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach as he turned back to his mother and started talking to her gently again about personal security, effectively dismissing you from the conversation. 

You'd had stupid hopes for Spencer Reid, and that's all they would ever be. 

Reid talked on, and you left him alone with his mother, though she seemed distracted by your departure. 

“Spencer, that wasn't nice. Look at that poor girl. She's close to tears.”

“What? Mom, are you even listening to me?” 

“No, and I likely won't until you go and apologize to Y/N. She's a pretty girl, Spencer, and she was very excited to meet you.” 

“Pretty…. Mom, please.” 

“What, do you disagree? You think I don't know you well enough to know when a girl would suit you well? Or do you think I'm blind to the fact that you were stealing glances at her before she introduced herself.” 

Spencer went quiet at having been caught, and he hated to accept that maybe his mother was right. 

It was true as well that the care facility had informed him of medical interns coming and going in the next few months, and really, she wasn't to blame for his mother being fond of him. 

He was glad, though, that neither of them had noticed the ten minutes he'd spent just outside the large sitting area watching them talk. He'd been obviously taken aback to see someone new so close to his mom and his mom similarly comfortable. He felt even worse for the fact that for a solid minute and a half, he'd stared at the girl with no other thought in his head than the sound of his heart skipping a questioning beat. 

He'd pulled himself out of it eventually, but only when another nurse had come along to ask him if he'd actually be visiting his mother today or just dropping in to check on her. 

And then he'd bumped into that infernal chair when he was so fixated on getting to them, and she'd opened her mouth and called him crash, and his heart had sank. 

He reminded himself it was neither of their faults and inwardly cursed himself for being so unfriendly with someone who'd taken such good care of his mother recently. 

He promised himself that he'd talk with his mom and then go and find the woman, and apologising for being such a brute. 

“Spencer, are you listening to me, or are you busy daydreaming about my nurse?” 

“Mom!” 

“You're plain as day, kiddo, you'll never get anything past me. Now please, leave me be, I'm reading. Come back later if you must, but for now, take this to Y/N for me, please. She left it with me to read this morning, but I'm not in the mood for Medieval Romance right now.” 

It was a blatant lie, but a dismissal nonetheless, and Spencer quietly took his chance to search for you in the halls. 

The head nurse humorously pointed him in the right direction without him asking, much to his annoyance, but he persisted and lightly tapped on your shoulder to greet you. 

“Oh, Doctor Reid, hello again.” You smiled a little smaller this time, still polite, but he watched the way it didn't reach your eyes and felt like a jackass all over again. 

“My mom told me to come return this book to you.” He held out the book, and you quietly took it, folding it into your arms and hugging it tightly against your chest as you both stood there silently after the exchange. 

“I'm sorry, as well. I wasn't exactly very friendly back there, because-” 

“It's okay, Doctor Reid, you really don't have to explain. I overstepped, it's my fault and it won't happen again.”

“Are you kidding? My mom hasn't looked that relaxed in years. Please keep overstepping.” 

Your smile widened slightly at the compliment, and Spencer's tongue kicked into hyper drive immediately at the sight, even as his brain powered off. 

“You're pretty,” he blurted out, stopping only as his brain caught up with his tongue before firing off again. “My mom said you're pretty. I agree as well, though, you have a nice smile, and it's better when you don't force it. Not that I'm telling you how to smile, though. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but my mom made me come over here and talk to you, even though I'm pretty sure that's her book and not one you loaned her.” 

He took a moment to catch his breath as you blinked at him in confusion, heart beating rapidly even as you heard the blood rushing through your ears. 

“If you're free now, would you want to grab a coffee? Unless you have a boyfriend. Or husband. Or girlfriend or wife, I guess, I don't mean to presume. But if you're free, as in time, and free as in, like, relationship wise, I'd like to buy you a coffee to thank you for listening to my mom.” 

He finally stopped, and you stared wondrously at the reddened skin of his cheeks as he held his breath, waiting for your reply. 

“You want to take me out for coffee to thank me?” 

“Yes.” 

“And on a separate note, I'm pretty, and you want to know if I'm in a relationship?” 

“I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me, I'll just see myself out. It was a stupid idea anyway-” 

“No, wait, Spencer! Let me… let me grab my coat. My lunch break is in half an hour, and I'm sure it'll be okay to take it early.” You held his arm for a second, stepping slightly too close for comfort before realising yourself and taking a tiny step back.

He stood and blinked in your direction, as though wondering seriously for a moment what your lunch break had to do with him. 

“Are you going to stand there staring at me, or are we going to go out?” 

“You're serious?” 

“I guess…. I guess I am.”

“And you're… you're single.” 

Your mouth went dry as his skin finally completed its transformation from vampiric to tomato red. You desperately hoped your own embarrassment wasn't equally as readable on your face. 

“Quite single. Medical students don't have that much time to date.”

“Neither do FBI agents.” 

“Perhaps a subject we could talk more about later?” 

“Definitely.” 

[sadnymi]

"My Dreams Are Just Dreams... Until They're Not" modern Mattheo riddle x reader [ chapter one ]

[Series masterlist] [Next chapter]

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language,childhood trauma ,abusing, cheating ( not the main characters )

words : 1,741

Reading Time : 6mins 20sec

Summery : A week at my best friend's beach house, surrounded by our friends as we meet her soon-to-be fiancé's companions, marks a turning point where the very fabric of my beliefs begins to unravel. It's during this week that I encounter the boy who incessantly appears in my dreams, blurring the distinction between the world of my subconscious and the tangible reality before me. Mattheo Riddle emerges as the poison I willingly imbibe, a curse that feels akin to a dream, weaving its tendrils into the very essence of my being.

Every night, my dreams whisk me away to mysterious places, filled with whispers that I can never quite make out. This time i was in a dark forest, where shadowy figures move just beyond my reach. Their voices surround me, but no matter how hard I try, I can't understand what they're saying.

But in every dream , it’s always leading me to a boy unlike any I had seen before. He had dark hair that fell over his intense eyes, i which I can see his face but no matter how hard I tried it’s always blurry with and always with a snake tattoo wrapped around his arm. Even though he didn't speak, I felt a strange connection to him, as if we shared a secret that only we could understand.

As I moved closer to him, the whispers grew louder, drowning out everything else. But still, their words eluded me. Just as I felt myself on the brink of understanding, I was jolted awake by my friend shaking me gently.

Blinking in the sunlight, I realized we had arrived at the beach house for our one in a lifetime vacation as she loves to call . I must have dozed off in the car, lost in my dreams once again. As we unpacked and settled in, I couldn't shake the memory of the boy with the snake tattoo.

As I unzipped my suitcase and began unpacking my bags, a sense of excitement washed over me. The beach house getaway with my friend was finally here, and I couldn't wait to unwind and enjoy some quality time together.

Carefully, I folded my clothes and placed them neatly in the dresser, taking a moment to admire the view from the window as I did so. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore in the distance filled me with a sense of calm and anticipation for the weekend ahead.

Once I had finished unpacking, I made my way to the kitchen to lend a hand with dinner preparations. The savory aroma of spices filled the air as I entered the room, greeted by the sight of my friend bustling about, chopping vegetables and setting the table.

We arrived earlier than the rest of our friends since Julie has Ana important meeting tomorrow before she can finally join as and penny decided to wait for her

With a smile, I rolled up the sleeves of my dark red hoodie and joined her, feeling a sense of camaraderie as we worked together to create a delicious meal. As we chatted and laughed, I couldn't help but feel grateful for moments like these – simple, yet filled with warmth and friendship.As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over the kitchen, I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement for the adventures that awaited us at the beach house.

Sarah wrapped her arms around me, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Y/n, I have the biggest news," she whispered, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

My curiosity piqued, I turned to her, eager to hear what she had to say. "What is it?"

"I think Lorenzo is going to propose to me soon," Sarah revealed, her voice filled with excitement.

My heart skipped a beat as I wrapped her in a tight hug, overflowing with happiness for my dear friend. "Oh my gosh, Sarah, that's incredible! I'm so happy for you!"

"Y/n, I also want to keep this between us for now," she confided, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. "I want it to be a surprise for everyone else."

Nodding in understanding, I smiled and squeezed her hand in support can’t hide the warmth of being the person she wanted to share it with first . "Of course, Sarah. Your secret's safe with me."

A wistful expression crossed Sarah's face as she glanced towards the window, lost in her thoughts. "I can’t help but just wish for you to find someone who loves you as much as you deserve," she murmured softly.

Her words touched my heart, and I felt a surge of warmth and gratitude towards my dear friend. "Thank you, Sarah," I replied, my voice catching with emotion. "I'm sure that person is out there somewhere."

As the sound of a car pulling up outside reached our ears, I exchanged a quick glance with Sarah. We both knew that it must be Lorenzo, her boyfriend, and his friends arriving for the weekend getaway. Despite the flutter of nerves in my stomach, I made a conscious effort to keep my composure. I was never good with meeting strangers however I never showed , Sara was not just my best-friend but like the older sister I have always wanted to have and i promised her to do everything to make this vacation the best we could even if that mean staying at the same house with Lorenzo friends the friends I didn’t even know existed until a week ago

"I'll go check if they need help with their bags," I offered, forcing a smile as I headed towards the door. Sarah nodded appreciatively, her excitement barely contained.

As I stepped outside, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I didn't want Sarah to worry about me, especially right now when she’s that happy . With a determined mindset, I greeted Lorenzo and his friends or at least the one who was already out of the car with warmth and hospitality, hiding my nervousness behind a facade of confidence.

As Lorenzo stepped out of the car, he greeted me with a warm smile and a small hug, instantly putting me at ease. His friendly demeanor helped to alleviate some of my nerves, and I returned his smile with one of my own.

Then, to my surprise, Lorenzo introduced me to the person standing next to him. "This is Blaise zabini," he said, gesturing towards the tall, handsome man beside him.

Blaise turned to me, his dark eyes sparkling with mischief. Without hesitation, he took my hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it, a gesture that caught me completely off guard.

As he introduced himself with a kiss to my hand, he followed up with a witty remark that caught me off guard. "You know," he said with a playful twinkle in his eye, "I've been practicing my hand-kissing technique for years. It's a lost art, really."

His unexpected humor broke the tension, and I couldn't help but burst into laughter at his lighthearted comment. His infectious laughter joined mine, and for a moment, all my nervousness melted away

As Blaise and I shared a moment of laughter, another one of Lorenzo's friends stepped out of the car, joining our group. However, instead of joining in the laughter, he made a sarcastic comment that caught me off guard.

"Did you pay the girl to laugh? You're not that funny," he quipped, his tone laced with sarcasm.

I felt a flush of embarrassment rise to my cheeks as I registered his words. While I tried to brush off the comment with a polite smile

As he introduced himself with a charming smile, he extended a friendly hand and said, "Theodore, but you can call me Theo. Pleasure to meet you."

As Theodore introduced himself with a smile, he maintained a more serious demeanor compared to his friendliness. However, I could sense his effort to engage in conversation and make me feel welcome, which I deeply appreciated.

"Nice to meet you, Theo, I’m y/n we are happy to have you all here " I replied with a genuine smile, grateful for his attempt to reach out despite his more serious demeanor.

the person sitting in the driver's seat finally emerged from the car. My heart skipped a beat as I caught sight of him, a strange sense of familiarity washing over me.

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something about his dark hair and intense, almost black eyes that tugged at my memory. My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him, unable to tear my gaze away. It was as if time stood still, and for a moment, I was transported back to the mysterious world of my dreams.

It was as if I had seen him somewhere before, perhaps in a dream.

However, as he approached our group, he remained silent, his expression unreadable. Lorenzo stepped forward, breaking the silence as he introduced him.

"And here comes our Mattheo," Lorenzo said, gesturing towards him with a warm smile putting his hands on Mattheo’s shoulders

Though Mattheo remained quiet, his presence added a certain gravity to the group. I offered a polite smile in greeting, feeling a mix of curiosity and apprehension a smile in which he didn’t return

As we gathered around the car to unload the bags, I offered to help, eager to contribute to the group effort. Lorenzo and his friends thanked me graciously, and as Blaise jokingly “offered to carry me inside along with the bags”, I couldn't help but laugh.

Before I could respond, however, Theo stepped forward and lightly hit Blaise on the shoulder, a silent reprimand for his playful suggestion.

As I stood there, amidst the laughter and banter of my friends, my gaze was drawn inexorably to Mattheo's hand It was as if time stood still in that moment, the air around us charged with an electric tension. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the tattoo, the one I knew every inch of the one I keep seeing day and day the one that look crystal clear on every dream I can’t tear my eyes away I couldn’t each curve and line seeming to pull me deeper into its mysterious allure.a snake that felt like it just come out of my dreams

When I finally looked up, I found Mattheo's intense gaze fixed on me, his eyes like dark pools of uncertainty and intrigue. There was a depth to his stare that sent shivers down my spine, a silent invitation to unravel the enigma that lay hidden beneath his stoic facade.

Fear and confusion danced across my features, betraying the turmoil within me, and yet, Mattheo made no attempt to conceal his scrutiny. It was as though he had been waiting for this moment, watching me with a knowing intensity that left me feeling exposed and vulnerable.

It’s been a year since I wrote anything but I can’t quite get this idea out of my head I hope you enjoy it forgive me for any grammar / spelling mistakes English is not my first language

[zelandiangelo]

happy birthday kaiba beloved

I had to give up on my pipe dream of finishing this absolute monster of a fic in time for his birthday LOL new scenes keep popping up when I think I've finished a big chunk... like a hydra...

but I can't let his birthday pass without posting anything so >_< here is the opening of the fic, subject to change a bit LOL. most biggest of giant shoutouts to @moonogre for reading my draft despite it being filled with holes and for loving it and cheering me on you are the realest one <3

(kaiba i'm sorry that you are just annoyed about everything happening to you here I promise it gets better later when you have some Character Development TT_TT)

Seto doesn’t have nightmares often anymore. But when he does, they’re always about the same thing: Mokuba. More specifically, Mokuba missing, in peril, in pain.

He hasn’t seen his younger sibling yet in this dream, but a dreadful certainty grips him, one that tells him if he doesn’t find Mokuba fast, something terrible will happen to them. Frantic, he runs through unfamiliar terrain that shifts and warps about him, calling Mokuba’s name over and over to no avail.

Until without warning, Mokuba appears within view, and with them the scene before Seto becomes very familiar; it’s not the first time he’s witnessed it, nor is it the second.

The five-headed dragon looms, poised to strike Mokuba, whose eyes are wide with surprise and terror. Seto knows what will happen next. The dragon’s jaws will stretch wide, then let loose a beam of energy that will streak towards his defenseless younger sibling. Both Seto and Mokuba will watch, rooted to the spot, until at the last second Joey Wheeler will throw his body into the path of the strike and disappear on impact. Seto had never felt more grateful to anyone than he had at that moment, and it had only made him hate Joey Wheeler all the more.

Wheeler is the very picture of an older brother, all warmth and selfless instinct, and it isn’t limited to his sister. He looks out for her, for Yugi and his other friends, even for people who have actively tried to kill him. And, yes, he looks out for Mokuba. Seto hates him for it, naturally. But he also trusts Wheeler more than he would ever admit to his face.

So he knows Mokuba will be safe from this attack. The dragon opens each of its five maws, a synchronized growl building in its throats, until, with a roar that reverberates deep in Seto’s core, it unleashes a blindingly powerful blast. And sure enough, Wheeler appears, blazing like a sunrise as it bleeds over the horizon. He and Mokuba both flinch as the blow lands, but while Wheeler’s body dissolves, Mokuba remains unscathed.

Mokuba turns to face Seto, their eyes filled with tears and distress, but there’s something else buried beneath it: betrayal. That Seto had allowed Wheeler’s sacrifice. That he hadn’t done so first. The image fractures, and dozens of copies of Mokuba accuse him with their existences. Mokuba on their knees on the floor after being struck. Mokuba sulking after Seto snaps at them in a fit of stress or anger. Mokuba confronting Seto after his victory, reminding him how twisted and broken he is.

They - the original, he thinks - turn away from Seto to stare at the spot where Wheeler had last stood. He reaches out for them; whether he could have made it, he doesn’t know, because his phone’s grating ringtone jolts him awake.

Still half-asleep, Seto fumbles for his phone and accepts the call. Leftover emotions from the fading dream fester in his chest, and the bitterness overflows, dripping from his mouth when he answers. “Do you have any idea what time it is,” he snaps flatly, not caring who’s on the receiving end of his ire.

“It’s 5:30 in the morning, Mr. Kaiba,” comes his secretary’s smooth response. No sooner are the words out of her mouth than Kaiba’s alarm goes off, proving her right. He curses under his breath as he shuts the alarm off.

“And just what could be important enough for you to call me at 5:30 in the morning?” he asks. Though his tone is hostile, he’s sure she’ll have a satisfactory answer. His secretary is very good at what she does, as evidenced by how put together she sounds at this time of the morning. Seto, meanwhile, doesn’t have enough of his wits about him to even begin to guess what could be so important.

“Damon Graves wants to have dinner with you this evening.”

Seto inhales sharply. He’s been trying to facilitate a meeting with the CEO of Graves Entertainment for months on end, and finally the fruits of his labor have paid off - on the worst possible day they could have.

“What time?” he tries, hoping that this man’s definition of “evening” is some ridiculously early or late time.

“Around six o’clock, sir.”

Seto grits his teeth. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible. You’ll have to reschedule it for me.”

“No can do, sir,” she responds immediately. “Mr. Graves informed me that he’ll be between flights at this time. You either meet with him today, or wait another two months for an opening in his schedule.”

“I’ll wait, then.”

His secretary pauses. “Are you sure that’s wise, Mr. Kaiba?”

He narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“This man is very… particular. Trust me when I say that when he offered the choice of ‘now’ or ‘later’, it really wasn’t much of a choice at all.”

Seto blows out a slow, frustrated breath, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He absolutely does trust her in this matter, but the ‘choice’ in question isn’t as simple as she thinks it is.

It’s not a choice between doing business with this man or not. It’s a choice between this man or Mokuba.

Mokuba has been looking forward to this release event for weeks - and, ever since he had cleared his schedule and promised Mokuba they would go together, so has Seto. Despite the difficulties, Seto enjoys being the CEO of KaibaCorp; he enjoys the power and respect that come with the position, enjoys knowing that it’s his own hard work that earned him those things, and that he doesn’t have to rely on anyone else for them. But right now, all he wants is to be able to shed that responsibility like dead snakeskin, to pass it off to someone else and spend time with his younger sibling.

But he can’t, and he knows it. KaibaCorp’s success is what keeps himself and Mokuba powerful. Provided for. Safe.

Like his secretary said, it’s not much of a choice, at the end of the day. But Seto wonders if he shouldn’t have agonized over this decision more.

“Fine,” he says dully. “I’ll meet with him tonight. Let me know the details as soon as you’ve worked them out.”

“Understood, sir.”

Seto hangs up without fanfare and leans back against the pillows. A sour feeling permeates him as he tries to figure out how he’ll break the news to Mokuba. He can already picture it; their eyes, which will surely be shining with anticipation for the promised evening, dimming with disappointment when Seto tells them why, exactly, he won’t be able to make it.

That image - Mokuba’s distraught expression - tugs on the fading strands of the dream. Bitterness returns to him in a rush, amplified tenfold from what it had been before the call.

There’s only one thing he can think to do to make his failure up to Mokuba, but he’d almost rather give his company over to Pegasus. Almost.

Seto doesn't have Wheeler’s number saved in his contacts (why would he need it?), so he opens up the group chat that Yugi had invited him to. Though Seto rarely speaks up in it, and only ever to respond directly to Yugi, he meticulously keeps up with every message sent. Wheeler’s messages aren’t labeled with his name, only his number, but it’s obvious enough which ones are from him.

The first two calls Seto makes are rejected almost instantly. Wheeler finally picks up on the third attempt.

“I swear,” he snaps without so much as a greeting, “if this is some kinda scam or prank or what have ya, I’m gonna-”

“Wheeler.”

The line falls silent.

“Kaiba?” he finally asks, sounding in as much disbelief as Seto himself that this call has been placed. “The fuck d’you want at-” he pauses, groans, and continues - “quarter to six in the goddamn morning?”

“Are you free this evening?”

Wheeler splutters. “Am I fr- what? What for? Since when d’you call me up about my Saturday plans?”

“Since mine were derailed by a last-minute work meeting that can’t be rescheduled.”

“Oh, boo hoo,” Wheeler taunts. “Poor Mr. CEO’s gotta put a little work into running that big company of his. What a cryin’ shame. Look, whatever favor it is that you’re about to ask, count me out.”

Seto grits his teeth and resists the urge to hang up on Wheeler. “I was supposed to take Mokuba to the release event this evening.”

There’s another pause. When Wheeler next speaks, some of the hostility is gone from his voice. “The tag duelin’ one?”

“So you have been keeping up.”

Wheeler ignores the jab. “So, what, ya want me to take him instead?”

Seto swallows the urge to correct the pronoun and says simply, “I’ll pay you.”

“Woah, hang on, I didn’t say anything about…” Wheeler trails off, probably weighing his financial situation against Seto’s, and drops the subject. “Why me?” he asks instead. “Don’t you guys have servants for this kinda thing? A butler or whatever?”

Because our parents died so long ago that Mokuba doesn’t even remember them. Because I can’t even take one day off to spend time with Mokuba. Because there’s no one else who really cares about them.

All of these potential answers are painful, but the three word response he offers Wheeler hurts him just as much to admit aloud: “Mokuba likes you.”

Seto holds his breath as he waits out the longest pause yet. Finally, the line crackles as Wheeler lets out a gusty sigh. “What time?”

-----

Seto opens the door himself when Wheeler knocks on it. The two don’t bother to exchange pleasantries. Wheeler regards him with… not open hostility - they’ve maybe shared one too many traumatic experiences for that - but wariness, like a dog being introduced to a stranger for the first time. In a way, maybe he is; it’s been a long time since the two of them have actually spoken to one another in-person, and they’ve never done so at Seto’s home.

Wheeler finally breaks the silence. “There anything important I need to know?”

Seto frowns. “Important how?”

“Rules. Allergies. Bedtime. That kinda thing.”

“You’re not a babysitter, Wheeler. Mokuba’s old enough to take care of… himself.” He hesitates over the pronoun; misgendering Mokuba rankles him, but he doesn’t want to out them, either. As far as Seto knows, he’s the only person Mokuba has told.

“Isn’t the kid, like, thirteen? I know I coulda used some adult supervision at that age.”

“Mokuba’s seventeen, you moron.”

“Seriously?” Wheeler’s brow furrows. “He’s even shorter’n Yugi.”

“And that is precisely why you should know better than to judge a child’s age by their height.”

Wheeler raises an eyebrow. “So, if he’s practically an adult anyway, what exactly are you payin’ me for here?”

Oh, right. He had promised to pay this moron, hadn’t he? “It’s a tag duel. I’m paying you to be Mokuba’s teammate.”

“Right.” Wheeler rolls his eyes. “At least answer the allergies question. If I’m gonna be feedin’ the kid, I don’t wanna accidentally kill him and have you on my ass about it for the rest of my life.”

Seto scowls. “Mokuba’s not allergic to anything.”

“There, see? Wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

Before Seto can retort, Mokuba enters the room, and their face lights up. “Joey!”

Wheeler’s whole demeanor changes. “Hey, Mokuba!” he calls. The two cross the room to meet each other. As Seto glowers on, Wheeler gets his younger sibling into a gentle headlock; Mokuba laughs as Wheeler gives them an affectionate noogie before letting go. “You ever done one ‘a these things before?”

“I’ve done a few small local tournaments,” Mokuba says. “Never a tag duel before, though.”

“How ‘bout a draft duel?”

“What’s a draft duel?”

Wheeler laughs. “It’s what we’re goin’ to right now.”

“It is?” Mokuba’s eyes widen. “I, uh. Didn’t read the info too closely.”

“Don’t you worry, kid,” Wheeler says, throwing an arm around Mokuba’s shoulders. “Your old pal Joey Wheeler is a seasoned card shop veteran. C’mon, I’ll explain how it works on the way over. We gotta get goin’ if we don’t wanna miss it.”

Mokuba pauses briefly on their way out to wrap their arms tightly around Seto. “Bye, Seto,” they whisper. “Good luck at your business dinner thing.”

“Good luck to you too,” Seto murmurs, squeezing gently back. “Don’t listen to Wheeler if he tells you to do anything stupid.”

“I heard that.”

“Hey,” Mokuba says, releasing Seto, “he said ‘if’, not ‘when’. I think that’s an improvement.”

“Merely a slip of the tongue on my part.”

“So he admits he makes mistakes!” Wheeler raises his eyebrows. “I think your brother’s gettin’ soft in his old age, Mokuba.”

Seto scowls. “I’m twenty-one years old.”

“So, older’n me.” Wheeler grins lopsidedly, and it needles Seto that Mokuba laughs so easily alongside him. “Just leave the duellin’ to us youngsters, Gramps. We’ll bring home a trophy to remind ya of your glory days.”

The remark hits a little too close. It’s been over a year since Seto last participated in any kind of official duel - which isn’t all that much time, but at the speed Duel Monsters moves, it’s practically ancient history. Seto thinks at first that it was a calculated jab on Wheeler’s part; but he’s missing that expression he usually wears when he goes toe-to-toe with Seto, the one where his eyes burn like lasers, white-hot and focused unwaveringly on Seto, drawing a retaliation out of him without fail every time. Instead, his attention is focused on amusing Mokuba with his antics.

And so, for Mokuba’s sake, Seto swallows the remark rising in his throat. At least I have glory days to revisit, Wheeler.

“Whatever,” he says instead, stiffly. “Roland’s ready for you two with the car.”

Seto hides his envy behind a mask of indifference as he watches them go.

[bomberqueen17]

Liveblogging the Aubreyad: Post Captain Part Three

I promise, this book really is that long. It's not that I'm rambling. I mean I am a little, but.

OK installment one was fly honeys and financial ruin, installment two was Bear Fursona and How Many Indiamen Has Tom Pullings Been In Please Read The Footnotes On This One, and we left off with Jack Finally Gets A Ship And Asks For One Big Favor. So now we are going to find out about this Disaster Boat and the Big Favor.

But first I can't resist this exchange between Stephen and Sophia, Jack's would-be wife prospect. Stephen and Sophie have hit it off as platonic friends and confide in one another a great deal, and Stephen is trying to convince Sophie that if she would just tell Jack she's into him then Jack would do what he had to do to make it happen. She refuses, she couldn't possibly, but meanwhile she is trying to explain to Stephen that Diana treats him like shit because she's trying to figure out if Stephen is into her or not, so if he would just fucking tell her he's into her she would stop being such a raging bitch to him, and Stephen, completely devoid of any self-analysis of this situation, breaks off his contemplation of how very wrong Sophie is to ignore his advice to explain to her that of course he must ignore her advice.

So while Jack is in his interview with Lord Melville, Stephen and Sophie are walking in a nearby park, and have this exchange.

'If you had seen him last night at Lady Keith's, you would not have worried. To be sure, he lost the rest of his ear in the Indiaman - but that was nothing.' 'His ear!' cried Sophia, turning white and coming to a dead halt in the middle of the Parade. 'You are standing in a puddle, my dear. Let me lead you to dry land. Yes, his ear, his right ear, or what there was left of it. But it was nothing. I sewed it on again; and as I say, if you had seen him last night, you would have been easy in your mind.' [...]'What a good friend you are to him, Dr Maturin. His other friends are so grateful to you.’ ‘I sew his ears on from time to time, sure.'

Anyway: The Big Favor, below.

So Jack repairs aboard HMS Disaster Polychrest to fit her out, she never having sailed anywhere before and for good reason, and Stephen turns up shortly in Portsmouth and sends Jack a note to let him know he's arrived. Jack responds, not having shipped any paper or pens aboard, by sending a messenger by way of reply. Brace yourself for the absolute onslaught of human sunshine that is about to follow:

A thundering on the stairs, as though someone had released a bull; the door burst inwards, trembling, and Pullings appeared, lighting up the room with his happiness and his new blue coat. 'I'm made, sir,' he cried, seizing Stephen's hand. 'Made at last! My commission came down with the mail. Oh, wish me joy!' 'Why, so I do,' said Stephen, wincing in that iron grip, 'if more joy you can contain - if more felicity will not make your cup overflow. Have you been drinking, Lieutenant Pullings? Pray sit in a chair like a rational being, and do not spring about the room.' 'Oh say it again, sir,' said the lieutenant, sitting and gazing at Stephen with pure love beaming from his face. 'Not a drop.' [...] 'Lieutenant, will you drink a glass of wine, a glass of sherry-wine?' 'You've said it again, sir,' cried Pullings, with another burst of effulgence. ('You would swear that light actually emanated from that face,' observed Stephen privately.) 'I take it very kind. Just a drop, if you please. I am not going to get drunk until tomorrow night - my feast.'

Pullings does indeed throw a party, to which both Jack and Stephen are invited. But first, the situation-- Pullings is the junior lieutenant, and Jack's first lieutenant is a Mr. Parker, who has been a lieutenant 35 years and never been given a command of his own, for reasons that become obvious: he is not good at his job. He doesn't totally understand how ships work, and focuses instead on cosmetic issues, and to motivate the men he constantly yells at them and beats them and generally is a terror to them. But he has influential friends-- not influential enough to get him his step, but influential enough that Jack is stuck with him.

The staffing of the ship is not ideal either, as they're very short-handed and of the men they have, most are Not Sailors. Pullings goes out to press men out of an incoming Indiaman ("won't she already be stripped?" asks Stephen, and Tom laughs at him.

“Love you, sir, I made two voyages in her. There are hidey-holes under her half-deck you would never dream of, without you helped to stow men into 'em. I'll have half a dozen men out of her, or you may say, black's the white of your eye, Tom Pullings. Lieutenant Tom Pullings,' he added, secretly.

I already included this one in the Indiaman Body Count Tally)

As a bit of a consolation, though, somehow Barret Bonden and his cousin Joe Plaice show up, bold as brass, rowing straight through that harbor openly to report aboard, so Jack has his coxswain back.

(We find out, alas, that Bonden's nephew George Lucock, who Jack had rated midshipman in the Sophie, couldn't get a Navy ship as a mid and wound up pressed as a foremast jack out of a merchantman and into HMS York, which recently went down with all hands in a blow-- built by the same corrupt dockyard as the Polychrest, so she probably came apart at the seams in the heavy storm-swell. Jack is sorely grieved, having valued the young man highly.)

So Barret Bonden takes the captain ashore in his barge to attend TOM PULLINGS's celebratory feast, at an inn near the shore in Gosport-- his parents have come, and his sweetheart.

The young man was standing there with his parents and an astonishingly pretty girl, a sweet little pink creature in lace mittens with immense blue eyes and an expression of grave alarm. 'I should like to take her home and keep her as a pet,' thought Jack, looking down at her with great benevolence.

The party goes well (Stephen bonds delightedly with Mrs. Pullings over their mutual love of mushrooms) but then the bailiffs show up, having been tipped off that Jack is there. Jack gets out the window but there are more waiting for him outside the inn and he can't jump down. So he hollers "Polychrest!" down to the end of the lane where his barge is moored, and up the street come running his barge crew, led by the loyal and extremely capable Barret Bonden, who knocks the head cop flat out with a wooden stave. "Pullings," Jack says once the bailiffs have fled, leaving several of their number stretched unconscious in the mud, "press those men," and so they go back to the ship with several additional hands.

By sea law this is perfectly legal. They have out-copped the fucking cops, and are very pleased with themselves.

So the next day they go out to sea and immediately find out that however little they expected out of the Polychrest, she is in fact much worse. She has so much leeway-- meaning, the wind pushes her bodily across the surface of the water no matter which direction she is meant to be sailing in or how closely she is steered-- that she is manageable only in wide vast open empty stretches of water, but her construction means she has no hold for supplies to be stored in, so she cannot make long voyages over vast open empty stretches of water. She must be used for duties that put her close in to the shore, but she cannot be steered well enough to be close in to the shore.

As a bonus they find out that she is actually slightly better at going backwards than forwards, which is. Well, embarrassing, and unexpected. But Jack can sail anything, and does, so on they go to rendezvous with the blockading Channel fleet.

Additional supporting characters revealed at this time include my son William Babbington, he of the venereal diseases, and a new tiny baby named Parslow, who mostly exists for Babbington to play wicked pranks upon.

HMS Failboat reaches the Channel fleet, whose job it is to keep the French from invading. This is a very real danger, there are hundreds of thousands of French troops sitting on the other side of the channel quite openly in a state of high preparedness and Napoleon around this time said "Let us be masters of the Channel for six hours and we are masters of the world."

But the commander of this patrolling squadron at this time is our old enemy Admiral Harte, yon blue-faced son of an old French fart whom we have known and loathed these years, and he really, really sucks.

Meanwhile in shipboard life, Stephen has fallen afoul of the incompetent Parker, who he catches gratutiously torturing the men out of his misguided ideas of how discipline works. This obliges Jack to openly interfere; he had been trying to be diplomatic with Parker, but he cannot overlook this. He handles it very competently, making Stephen and Parker apologize formally to one another and dismiss the incident, and then berating Parker in private. Stephen is coldly furious and offers to quit on the spot, but is talked down. He does however take a short leave and go ashore, where he visits Sophie and tells her among other things that Jack isn't eating very much because he's too poor to lay in his own private supplies, which is customary for ship captains.

And so Killick comes aboard, bearing extravagant amounts of food sent as gifts by Sophie. Jack actually almost cries, it's such a kind and also necessary thing for her to have done. And it's good timing, because Canning comes to dine. (He is Jewish and there is a funny sidebar as Jack tries to find out from the Bible [Stephen is astonished that he owns a copy] whether Jews can eat venison. The answer, as far as the unfussy Canning is concerned, is yes.)

So the dinner is a success, but then they immediately put to sea again. But not far out to sea. And Jack goes repeatedly ashore to visit-- Diana, not Sophie. Diana, who is in Dover, which is easy for the squadron to get to. (Sophie is farther away and also he cannot see her because her mother would not allow it, and she has refused to tell him openly that she wants this, though one would think the food she sent would have been a clue. And yet.) But Jack goes to visit Diana even in peril of being arrested, to the detriment of his duty, to the damage of his reputation, delaying the sailing of convoys he's meant to escort, imperiling his career. Which is what she wants. It's easy for men to say they care about her, but in her state she demands sacrifices to prove it, which Stephen provides as well but in his case she wants declarations, which he won't make.

Back aboard, Jack is trying to fix the ship's rigging to make her sail forwards more often, and Stephen is bonding with the new Marine captain over the various martial arts. The Marine asks if he should like to do some fencing practice. "Would that be quite regular?" Stephen asks, apparently without a hint of irony continuing "I have a horror of the least appearance of eccentricity."

Really. Do you now.

Anyhow they do practice fencing and pistol-shooting, and Jack is astonished to realize that his mildly bumbling friend is actually an incredible shot and a very skilled fencer. Stephen's university days had involved rather an extreme amount of dueling and he is extremely well-practiced and skilled at these arts.

HMS Failboat meets the Bellone, their old frienemy. They could chase her off and simply take the prizes she was escorting, but Jack knows that she does too much damage to English commercial traffic to be allowed to continue, so he doggedly chases her, leaving the prizes behind. He cannot take her, but drives her onto the rocks of the Spanish coast, and watches the surf break her back.

Admiral Harte doesn't give a fuck about this, he's just mad Jack didn't take the prizes.

Stephen is called away to do intelligence work, which Jack still knows nothing about really-- he has some inklings that there are depths to Stephen, but has no idea what those depths really are. Stephen visits Diana and Sophie on the way again, and again, Diana tries to get him to show concrete interest and he won't; he then tells Sophie she absolutely must show Jack some concrete interest but she says she can't and then counter-insists that he absolutely must be more direct with Diana, and he refuses. (I begin to see why this book is so long...)

Stephen is landed by the dark of the moon on the Spanish coast, and some undefinable time later he returns, deeply tanned, and tells everyone he's been in Ireland seeing to tedious family business.

He meets Heneage Dundas, who begs him to tell Jack that everyone has noticed him going ashore so much, it is entirely obvious to everyone what he is doing and it does not look good to anyone. He begs Stephen to tell Jack, lest Jack imperil what few chances he has to advance his career. Dundas is himself a notorious womanizer, so coming from him, this is really, really saying something.

Back aboard, Stephen finds the ship thoroughly unhappy, badgered by Parker's hard-horse willy-nilly torture, unbolstered by any real help from a despondent Jack, after a boring and unproductive convoy escort to the Baltic. But, Jack brought Stephen a souvenir-- a narwhal horn-- and Stephen is delighted.

So delighted he resolves to try to convey Dundas's message. Jack, already sensitive because he knows he's behaving badly, takes it amiss, answers him sharply, carelessly uses the word bastard to which Stephen, being one, is extremely sensitive. Stephen cannot abide it, demands Jack withdraw, and Jack, too angry, doubles down instead, pointing out that Stephen coming back deeply suntanned from a trip to Ireland is beyond believing and makes one question whether Stephen is telling the truth about anything-- which is of course entirely the wrong thing to ever say to someone who has fought as many duels as Stephen, and so of course Stephen goes to ask Dundas to second him in a duel.

Jack belatedly withdraws the word bastard but nothing else, which isn't going to cut it. But the scheduling is prohibitive, so the whole thing drags on unresolved.

Jack goes ashore once more to see Diana, but her servant says she isn't at home; he sneaks around back and discovers that indeed she is there, entertaining Canning in her bedroom.

Admiral Harte now orders the Failboat to go and traverse a very dangerous set of inshore channels to look in upon a French harbor. Now, either Harte is trying to get him killed, or is genuinely ignorant enough not to realize that the Polychrest is fatally unsuited to this mission, but Jack is so dispirited that he merely registers a dull formal protest about it (Failboat's hull has indeed started to come apart and it needs refitting already), then goes away shrugging on what amounts to a suicide mission.

Stephen meanwhile has been noticing that the men are increasingly sullen, but attributes it to the falling-out he has had with Jack-- most of the crew has been treating him poorly now that he is clearly no longer the Captain's Favorite. But in the sick bay he hears the men talking about their plans for mutiny. So he goes, dutifully, to tell Jack: the men will mutiny once they are close to France, and plan to carry the ship to a French harbor once the officers are dead. He will not name names, he is no informer, but he felt it his duty to report the fact of the matter.

Jack knew this was coming, they had been rolling shot in the night and he is not unaware of the state of the ship. He has a solution.

'Men,' said Jack, 'I know damned well what's going on. I know damned well what's going on; and I won't have it. What simple fellows you are, to listen to a parcel of makee-clever sea-lawyers and politicians, glib, quick-talking coves. Some of you have put your necks into the noose. I say your necks into the noose. You see the Ville de Paris over there?' Every head turned to the line-of-battle ship on the horizon. 'I have only to signal her, or half a dozen other cruisers, and run you up to the yardarm with the Rogue's March playing. Damned fools, to listen to such talk. But I am not going to signal to the Ville de Paris nor to any other king's ship. Why not? Because the Polychrest is going into action this very night, that's why. I am not going to have it said in the fleet that any Polychrest is afraid of hard knocks.”

No punishment, the incident will not be logged, but they are going to go on this possible suicide mission here and now and either fucking do the impossible or fucking die trying.

Everyone is pleased by this, except Parker, so off they go, making it to their target in shockingly good time. The navigation is incredibly tricky, and Jack does not know the waters, so he is relying entirely on his master, who is a Channel pilot. He double and triple-checks everything with the master, but the master is absolutely confident, despite the fog that has rolled in, despite how tricky this harbor in specific is. No, they are in the right place, the master is perfectly confident, this is going exactly as planned, and so they are definitely going to--

They run hard aground on a sandbar, midsentence. They were in the wrong place, the master having confused one distinctive headland with another identical distinctive headland. They are now hard aground under the overlapping fire of two heavy, well-staffed land batteries, the fog is lifting, and the gunboats from the harbor are coming out to destroy them.

The only way off the sandbar is to carry an anchor out some distance and then winch themselves off with it, but none of the smaller boats they possess are strong enough to carry the anchor. They will have to go steal one from the harbor. Having decided this within the first three seconds of realizing the situation, Jack then realizes that it would be faster, better, to go cut out a large enough vessel from that harbor to simply directly tow the Polychrest off. And there is in fact a 20-gun corvette there, the Fanciulla, anchored under the batteries, but so close under them that their guns could not bear on her. She is the ship they were meant to locate, and there she is. And why not cut her out? It's suicidal but then this whole thing was anyway.

So he calls for volunteers for this absolutely madcap, reckless plan, and is stunned when most of the men onboard follow him with zero hesitation; he has to order some to stay behind to keep the ship, having already ordered some others off on a distraction gambit to draw the gunboats off.

They reach the corvette; Babbington gets shot and Jack saves him, it's only his arm that is broken, he tucks it into his shirt and fights on, desperately. Pullings cuts the cables with his bloody axe, the Fanciulla is theirs-- the battery has not realized the ship is taken and does not fire on them as they make their way back out to the Polychrest, only belatedly opening fire when they're most of the way there. They pass a cable, set the sails, get on the capstan bars, and are working to tow the Polychrest off-- it has started to move-- they're nearly there-- and then the cable is cut by shot from the batteries, and there is no surviving boat to carry another cable.

So Jack, already wounded but determined, swims over to the Fanciulla to get another cable. He is wounded again in the water, and comes aboard exhausted and bleeding heavily. No one else can swim, and the Fanciulla cannot come any closer without grounding herself as well. So he takes the heavy cable and sets off back to the Polychrest, nearly drowns, but gets there, seeing double. Bonden has to haul him out of the water, he cannot stand, but finally heaves to his feet to take a place at the capstan in the final desperate effort to get the Polychrest unstuck.

She floats. But she has been hulled upwards of 200 times by the batteries' heavy shot, and above all, her poorly-built hull is coming apart at the seams. She cannot swim long.

They tow her out. A large number of transport ships had fled the harbor when the fighting started, meaning to get clear of whatever happened, and they are all out in the shipping lane, milling about and completely confused. The Polychrest and Fanciulla sink several, take one that blunders into them and gets stuck, and leave flaming chaos behind them. Which was, after all, the substance of Jack's orders.

They get everything they can off the Polychrest, and then, finally, she sinks. And so does Jack, massively short on blood.

But the book is not over, no. There's more, but this is another suitable place for an intermission.

Stay tuned for: Gibbon crimes, sixty thousand bees, romantic heartbreak and separate resolution (not the same romance), and somebody gets a promotion. Two somebodies! ... one of them is really not who you would expect.

[nymrs]

Would you please write an imagine about Neymar and the reader celebrating a big win. (Fluff) I totally understand if you are unable to do this. 🫶

#5. CELEBRATIONS | Neymar Jr.

Your heart was racing, you were so anxious you could swear there were pearls of sweat running down your forehead. The whole stadium watched your fiancé. It was the Champions League final and if PSG scored their penalty now, they would win. You prayed to God, knowing Neymar would fully blame himself if they’d lose. He got into his position and jogged towards the ball after hesitating for a moment. The moment he kicked, you squinted your eyes together, unable to watch because of the nervousness and adrenaline running through your blood. A moment of pure silence, then being interrupted by cheering and clapping all around you. You opened your eyes to see the PSG team hugging Neymar, holding him up until the whole group finally fell to the ground. And this was the moment you knew, he made it, my fiancé fucking made it. The adrenaline turned into happiness and joy that was showing by your eyes tearing up. Rafaella, who attended her brothers important match, pulled you into her arms, tears streaming down both your cheeks. Pulling away, she softly stroke your arm, "Go down there, he’s probably waiting for you already." You glanced over to Neymar. He was watching you while his mates couldn’t seem to stop expressing their overflow of positive emotions by hugging him and jumping around. You ran down the stairs, the security men already opening the barriers for you and the other relatives of the new champions. The field was crowded with the teams' families and friends, while Neymar simply stood there with the biggest smile on his face, stretching out his arms for you. "You made it babe, you really made it! I’m so proud of you, I love you so much", you exclaimed the moment you crashed into his arms. He hugged you tight, holding you up a little bit before placing a kiss onto your lips. Once you pulled away from each other you saw the tears in the corner of his eyes. You continued praising him before he cut you off, "I wouldn’t be able to do this without you Y/N." You looked at him in confusion, the grin on your face did not disappear while you shook your head. "But Ney, I didn’t do anything. This is you. You made it, just like I knew you would." His thumb softly stroke your cheek. "But who supported me through it all? Who had to keep up with my moods; motivate me whenever I was about to give up – who kicked my ass the times I’ve been too lazy to train, and who made me play in ease, letting me know that no matter the outcome, I'm being loved and appreciated? It’s you, and if it wasn’t for you, your support and your love, I would’ve lost all motivation long ago", he paused for a second, "We won the Champions League, but I won in life, with you." You wrapped you arms around his neck and pulled him closer as you didn’t stop telling him how much you loved him. Before you could even pull away from each others lips, you saw Sergio running towards the two of you, with an open champagne bottle pointing at you. "Sergio, no!", you squeak, but he only laughed at your scared facial expression and got you soaked in champagne. Neymar was amused by your angry glare. "Champions! We are the champions", Sergio started singing and wrapped an arm around your fiancés neck, both of them jumped while Neymar grabbed the bottle and took a big sip. You didn’t like the idea of going home smelling like nothing but alcohol, but your worries and madness instantly disappeared the moment you saw Neymar celebrating their victory and finally being highly appreciated not only by the team, but even the fans that used to shit talk about him. It was literally Neymars day, and you were endlessly grateful for being able to celebrate with him and possibly even contributing to his motivation.

[getcardedtarot]

September Monthly PAC

Hello, lovelies! I'm back with another monthly reading. Take a deep breath, relax, and let your intuition guide you to the reading meant for you.

If you would like to tip me or book a personal reading, you can do so in my shop. I'm also having a sale in my shop, right now a 10 card reading is only $5!

Remember that my readings are for entertainment. Your choices are your own.

Your energy during the month ahead Ace of Cups

Your energy this month is a pure and genuine desire for love and real emotion. You’re ready for new relationships, be they romantic or platonic. Your feelings are overflowing, things feeling intense this month. This is a good time to focus on your relationships with loved ones. 

Your social life this month The Lovers

This month is all about partnerships for you. Partnerships with your loved ones, perhaps a new romantic relationship. Try to bring balance and harmony to your life this month, don’t let relationships be your only focus. 

Something you should pursue this month Three of Cups

Make time to celebrate your life with friends. If you have an opportunity for a gathering, take it. Have fun and enjoy the last days of summer before things get cold and dreary.

Something you should be cautious of this month Death

While you are prioritizing relationships and emotion, don’t be tempted to let things change too much. Your emotions may run high this month, but don’t make any sudden, drastic choices. 

How you can practice self-care this month The Star

Find balance and harmony amidst the chaos of the month. You may need rejuvenating before the month is over. Take time for yourself. Be understanding with yourself as you would with someone else. This month could take you on an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared to ride it out and be patient and kind with yourself. 

How you can be in alignment with your highest self this month Five of Cups

As chaotic and emotionally charged as this month may get for you, don’t forget all the good you have in your life. It can be hard to see when times are rough, but the good things are still there. Remind yourself of the things that make you happy, things you’re grateful for.

Your energy during the month ahead The Moon

Something in your life is not what it seems and it’s up to you and your intuition to see through it. Trust yourself and your gut this month. 

Your social life this month Nine of Wands

You’ve had a hard time lately, and now is the time to seek support from your loved ones. They will give you the energy and strength to get through this final stretch before things improve. 

Something you should pursue this month The Sun

Pursue what makes you happy this month. With everything going on in your life, you should seek out what joy you can find. Keep pushing forward, everything will turn out fine. You just need to enjoy the little pleasures along the way to keep up morale. 

Something you should be cautious of this month Justice

While searching for the truth in your life, try not to be overly judgemental, towards yourself or others. Everyone goes through hard times and it’s best not to start a witch hunt over what may be a simple misunderstanding. 

How you can practice self-care this month The Tower

Make sure that your foundations are strong. Find your center and be sure that you stay as grounded as possible. Things are so close to improving, you’re in the final stretch. Be sure that you’re centered on a solid foundation for the next stage of your life. 

How you can be in alignment with your highest self this month Four of Pentacles

Keep your joys close to your heart. The things that you enjoy can get you through the hardest of times. Keep your gratitude in mind, and your hopes for the future close. Remember that when things feel difficult and overwhelming, there is good out there, and there is a future to hope for. 

Your energy during the month ahead Ten of Pentacles

Your energy this month is one of abundance. You’re doing well and want to share it with your close circle. Times are good for you, your needs are tended to and happiness is yours. 

Your social life this month Seven of Pentacles

You’ve worked hard on your relationships with those around you, and now your effort is paying off. There are good times to go around and those around you appreciate the time and space you’ve made from them. 

Something you should pursue this month Seven of Swords

This month is about you! You’re in a good, comfortable place. It’s time to spring for that crazy idea you have! That plan you’ve been mulling over is primed and ready to be undertaken. Even if things don’t go perfectly, you still have a lot of success to look forward to. 

Something you should be cautious of this month Queen of Pentacles

Don’t hand out money to just anyone this month. While you’re doing well and may be inclined to be generous, look after your own interests first. Don’t hand out money you need back. Some people may like to take advantage of you. 

How you can practice self-care this month Ace of Swords

Let your mind run wild! Now is the time to brainstorm your next project. You’re in a comfortable place, and you can afford to dream up a new vision to realize. This is also a good time for breakthroughs. Now is the time to look for clarity regarding your place in life and how you view the world. 

How you can be in alignment with your highest self this month King of Wands

Be in total control of your life. You know what you want and where you’re going. You’re in a good position to captain your own ship. If you have ideas you want to bring to fruition, or passions you want to pursue, do it!

[khunyuki]

Hiii! I can you do about isao shinomiya from kaiju no 8?

It's my first time I request, so can you do if he get jealous or how did he get into relationship? or anything you want to do :)

I read one of your writing and it was amazing :)

Excuse me anon but do you mean THE Isao Shinomiya? As in Kikoru Shinomiya's father, the Director General of the Defense Force??

Σ(*oωo艸;)!?

I am caught off guard by this request but to honor your first request then I'll do it!!! Thank you for thinking that my writing is amazing hehe🫶

I'm already apologizing in advance if this is OOC cuz I would really need a lot of reference materials for this😭🙏

=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=

The Guilt of Longing

Synopsis: You didn't expect to fall in love with the director general of the defense force. Nor did you expect the stoic man to like you back

Pairing/s: Shinomiya Isao x reader

Masterlist

Who is he to you?

Shinomiya Isao is a source inspiration for most of the members of the Defense Force, including you. He is considered a legend for his achievements and strength, having been the captain of the 'strongest' first division and eventually the director general of the defense force.

He is someone you respect and admire the most, which inspired you to become a valuable asset of the JAKDF. In tandem with his deceased wife, they were considered to be a forced to be reckoned with– the power couple as some might say.

Who fell in love first?

You did. At first you just admired him, but eventually you fell in love with your superior and friend. It was something you kept hidden, feelings never to be expressed.

When did you fell in love?

Around 20 years ago.

How did you fall in love?

You were just an ordinary officer, steadily raising your ranks for your own satisfaction. During a mission, you almost had a career ending injury when he saved you. You were incredibly grateful for him, which made you strive harder to reach him. But knowing that he's in a relationship, you decided to mask your love for admiration. You kept your feelings to yourself and just settled for being his and Hikari's friend.

Why did you fell in love?

You saw the contrast on how he treated his wife and his work. His strong romantic relationship with his wife was so obvious to anyone. He is usually so authoritative, serious and demanding so seeing him soften and be lenient whenever she's around, you kinda feel jealous.

You already admired him for his personality as your superior and friend. Seeing a different side of him made you love him even more, wishing it was you on the receiving end of his affections.

Did you try to move on?

After Hikari died 10 years ago, you tried to help Isao with his grief by being by his side as his friend. You were sad about your friend's death and even more sad for those she left behind.

The fact that you're still in love with your friend's husband already made you feel guilty at the start, despite keeping those feelings to yourself. After she died, you blame yourself for your overflowing feelings, kinda happy you finally had chance. You were already trying to move on but this hindered your plans.

Who confessed first?

You were friends with him and his deceased wife so you could say you have a close relationship with each other. You being by his side during the rough times had caused you to become closer and forge a special bond. Your genuine feelings have reached him thus making him realize his feelings for you too.

Contrary to the expectations that it would be you, he was the one who confessed first. After he realized his feelings, it took him a long time to accept it but when he did, boy this man is brave. He apologized to his late wife before he decided to make a move on you. He also asked his daughter, Kikoru, if it was alright with her where he received the go signal.

How did you get into a relationship?

He asked if you would like to eat dinner with him just like the other times but this time, it's different. It was a simple candlelight dinner but the atmosphere was pretty romantic. Despite his rough appearance, you could say he's an old-school gentleman, the one that would escort you to your seat and give you flowers on your date. It is a side of him he would never show in front of other people though.

He'd ask you directly if you wanted to be in a relationship with him. You said yes, and that you've been waiting for him for a long time. Hence, you were now officially together but that doesn't change your relationship with each other.

How are you as lovers?

There wasn't much difference compared to your interactions before as you're both still professional in your work. But behind closed doors, you are more open with each other. It wasn't the type where you lay down your feelings bare but rather the type where you talk about your concerns more easily.

You were already friends so it was more of an upgrade but with bonuses. He isn't overly affectionate nor is he talkative. But when he does say something, you'd find yourself flustered at how easily he could let those compliments out.

Who knows about you two?

Aside from Kikoru, it is only your closest friends that know you are in a relationship cuz you're both private people.

What does Kikoru thinks about you two?

Kikoru knows you since she was a child. You were always there to visit her and play with her when she's alone and her parents are busy. When her mother died, you also comforted her and stayed by her side. Kikoru loves you, y'know.

When she heard about it from her father, she didn't like it at first but she loves you too. A part of her is hesitant due to her late mother but she wants her father to be happy too. She's always grateful towards you cuz even if she thinks her relationship with her father is somehow estranged, you are there to tell her she's wrong and that her father loves her very much.

Kikoru likes you and wants you to be part of her family so she readily gave her permission. You were already family before, you're just making it official now.

What does he do when he gets jealous?

He isn't the type to get jealous easily. Why would he? Well it's because he's the director general of the defense force and the legend himself. Is there anyone else a better fit for you than him? While he doesn't let his achievements get to his head for he prioritizes the country first, he certainly prides himself with it.

If he does get jealous, he wouldn't show it. This old man may be honest and blunt but he's still stiff in some areas, after all, he's been a widow for a long time. He had his own share of jealousy back with Hikari but he believes in her. And he also believes and trusts in you. He wouldn't be dating you if he didn't.

Why is this so hard yet also kinda easy? I'm sorry it took a long time but I hope you like it~

[pinksobg]

.˚‧︵‿ . . 🫖🌷 . . ‿︵‧˚.

Tea with the hatter 🌷 茶/chá/tea

What would a person love about having tea with you? Let me hype you up <3

[ID: pile 1: a close up from yeonjun (tomorrow x together) looking to the camera, celebrating the new year (year of the rabbit). pile 2: lighted candles, they are heart shaped, some are in the color red and others in the color pink. pile 3: yeonjun with a hand up and head tilted, showing a tiara with bunny hears for the year of the rabbit (this year, oh my). he is also with a sweater in baby pink with a a little of white color (in both of his pictures). End of ID.]

for reflexion purposes only. 💞 ready? let's go! hello! <3 I missed you guys <3 hope you enjoy the reading. i love tea and having tea can mean having a good time, right? i remember doing a final work on school about alternative medicine and we studied a lot about the origin of tea, I love tea so much, and I'm happy that the word chá in my native language comes from Mandarin 茶, I was very glad to study all of that

Pile 1) your power of transmutation. it seems very clear here that you are a person who can solve any kind of problem. looks like you've done this a lot already. you look like the kind of hero who sits down at the tea table after a battle, and continues with the vitality to move on with life. hair in the wind and a radiant look, confidence. surely a hatter would love to be your friend, maybe he's a little intimidated by your posture and good looks for the first impressions, but afterwards he'd definitely feel protected by your loyalty.

cards: 9 of wands, 8 of swords.

Pile 2) hello pile two! you overflow with pure love energy. what else to say? you are a full cup. perhaps you would arrive at the tea table with a sweet or a cake in hand. what you do for people is very clear that you are filled with love. the people around you can trust you and you can always have good advice, company or a shoulder to lean on (when you are not the one who is needing a shoulder, what is totally normal too). this is very beautiful. your energy is of love. a person having tea with you would definitely be grateful for that, with your attention to that person, for example. grateful for you to being you.

cards: 4 of cups, ace of cups.

Pile 3) your pile seems to be screaming connection with music, am i right? I see you as a beautiful flautist. abundant too. very abundant. you seem like such a kind person. it seems that... you would be that flautist who dresses in green, and plays walking rhythmically and happily, with no second intentions, just enjoying the moment and your art of existing. you play beautiful songs in the hearts of others too, bringing hope. an animation you might like is "howl's moving castle". "say things you don't understand..." flowers - miley cyrus. I would love to have a tea with you for sure!

cards: 10 of pentacles, the chariot.

positive affirmations for all piles <3

A lot of blessings come in my way

I'm enough and I matter. I respect myself and I love myself

It's okay to feel confused sometimes, and clarification come easily to me when I ask

peace and love,

pinksobg

[finkinthisfrew]

HOW DO YOU KEEP OUT DOING YOURSELF PART 5????(((?(????? WHAT WHAT WHAT

bagsftfqcwhayfagw oh my god okay imma be coherent now.

Dude I am so happy you are keeping the slowburn going like. This is satisfying everything I have been looking for in a Matty fic for so long. No one writes slowburn on here ( real though I get it) so this is just…. AHHHH

AND THE SHOW ME YOUR HOMEWORK PART???? YOU POPPED OFF WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL??????? MY HAND FLEW OVER MY MOUTH I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD SHE DIDNT. GRAHHHHHHH THIS WAS SO SO GOOD IMMA STOP NOW

OKAY STOP I'M ONLY SEEING THIS NOW, MY HEART 💔 😭

I'm forever grateful for the positive feedback on "Show me your homework" cuz I was near-certain it was gonna flop. I love that y'all are just as filthy rot-brain feral-minded animals as I am!! (that's meant as a compliment btw) I love getting to giggle with you over these stories No one asked, but if anyone's read this far, this was the OG excerpt I scrapped from Part 5 because I wanted to extend the pining longer:

Teacher's Pet alt pt 5

You haven’t earned my cock yet. The words replay over in your mind.

Yet. 

The word only makes you ache for him more.

“How do I earn it?” You beg through labored breath as his thumb circles your clit a little faster, his other hand pinching at your hardened nipple.

“Oh, that’s not something you’ll be able to earn anytime soon, Miss Thompson,” he says, a smug smile playing on his lips. “This is detention after all… You need to be punished for your bad behavior. If I reward you then you might start to get the wrong idea…”

“Please,” you beg, “I did it for you. I thought you’d like it.”

“You thought I’d like watching you shove your tits in that bartender's face?” He says, lifting his hand from your nipple to your neck, gripping it slowly as he continues to pump his fingers into you. “You thought I’d like watching you grind your ass against my friend's dick? You thought I'd enjoy that?”

“I needed you- fuck!” You shout, his shining eyes boring into you.

“Oh poor baby,” he says in a pout. “You needed me. Seems like you needed Ross a bit more though...” he challenges, tightening his grip around your neck slightly.

“No- you,” you say through strained breath. “Needed- you-“

His face falls into something darker, something unimpressed.

“You didn’t do a very good job of showing me that, did you?” He says looking into your eyes coldly. His eyes drop to your mouth, flitting back up to your eyes briefly as he says, “Open.”

You part your lips willingly, opening wide for him. You watch as he purses his lips, eyes burning as they wander back down before spitting into your open mouth. You groan loudly, but not loud enough to miss his groan- much more guttural than yours, something vaguely animalistic.

“You’re going to cum for me, Miss Thompson,” he says darkly. “You’re going to cum for me, and depending on how big of a mess you make on my hand, I’ll consider fucking you- does that sound fair?”

You nod you head vigorously, teetering too closely to the edge to consider his question seriously- he could have told you to streak naked through campus and you would have said yes.

“Be a good girl for me and cum all over my hand- come on, you can do it. Do you need daddy to fuck you a little harder with his fingers? Is that it? So needy…” he taunts, your climax only seconds away as the pleasure begins to overflow inside you. “That’s it. Good girl. Make a pretty mess for daddy...”

[scart-t]

Talking Nonesense~

a/n: IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG RN Pairings: Neuvillette x Fem!reader But I can't help myself When you get close to me Baby, my tongue goes numb Sounds like bleh, blah, blee I don't want no one else (don't want) Baby, I'm in too deep Here's a lil' song I wrote (a song I wrote) It's about you and me (me) -nonesense(sabrina carpenter)

His powers were once limited and he was forced to maintain his human form at all times. He was content with his life, ruling over his kingdom with fairness and justice, until one day, a new human entered his life.

Her name was Y/N, and she was unlike any human he had ever met. She was kind, brave, and had a fiery spirit that caught Neuvilette's attention. He found himself drawn to her, wanting to know more about her and spend more time with her.

At first, Neuvilette didn't understand these feelings. He had never felt this way before, and it confused him. But as he got to know Y/N, he realized that he had a crush on her. He couldn't stop thinking about her, and every time she was around, his heart would flutter.

Y/N, on the other hand, was completely unaware of Neuvilette's feelings. She saw him as a wise and powerful ruler, but never thought of him in a romantic way. That is, until one day, Neuvilette gathered the courage to confess his feelings to her.

They were sitting by the edge of a lake in the middle of the kingdom, enjoying the peacefulness of the water. Neuvilette couldn't hold it in any longer, and he turned to Y/N with a nervous expression.

'Y/N, there's something I need to tell you,' he said, his voice shaky.

Y/N turned to him with a curious look, waiting for him to continue.

'I...I have feelings for you. I know it may seem strange, but I can't help it. You have captured my heart, and I can't imagine ruling over this kingdom without you by my side,' Neuvilette confessed, his cheeks turning a light shade of blue.

Y/N was taken aback by his words. She had never thought of Neuvilette in that way, but as she looked into his eyes, she saw the sincerity in them. She couldn't deny the fluttering feeling in her stomach either.

'Neuvilette, I...I had no idea. I see you as a great friend and ruler, but I never thought of you in a romantic way. I'm sorry,' Y/N replied, feeling guilty for not reciprocating his feelings.

Neuvilette's heart sank at her words, but he understood. He had known that he was taking a risk by confessing his feelings, but he couldn't keep them bottled up any longer. He let out a deep sigh and looked away, trying to hide his disappointment.

Y/N noticed his reaction and immediately regretted her words. She didn't want to hurt him, especially since she had grown to care for him as well. Without thinking, she reached out and took his hand in hers.

'Neuvilette, I may not have realized it before, but I have also grown to care for you deeply. I just never thought that you would see me in that way,' she said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Neuvilette's head snapped towards her, his eyes wide with surprise. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Y/N cared for him too?

'Y/N, are you saying...you feel the same way?' he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N smiled and nodded, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Neuvilette couldn't contain his happiness and pulled her into a tight embrace, his heart overflowing with joy.

From that day on, Neuvilette and Y/N became inseparable. They would spend their days together, exploring the kingdom and getting to know each other even more. Neuvilette was no longer the aloof ruler, but a dragon who had found his mate in a human.

As they stood by the lake once again, watching the sunset, Neuvilette couldn't help but think about how grateful he was to have Y/N in his life. She had shown him that love knows no boundaries, and that even a Hydro Dragon could find happiness in the most unexpected ways.

And as they held each other's hand, watching the sun dip below the horizon, reminding them that sometimes, love can be a beautiful and nonsensical thing. But as long as they had each other, they knew that their love was real and nothing else mattered.

[seeingivy]

Helloess 👉👈 I usually lurk on your (or p much everyone's) blog bcoz I got that online social anxiety xddd and I've never rlly sent an ask before to anyone but seeing your posts lately about interactions and from how much I love your fics and writing gave me some courage to finally send you something!!

Can I just say that you're like my favourite JJK fic writer :') Like your mind is simply awesome— the dialogues you write and the original ideas you come up with are always sooo impressive and THE FEELS!!! The emotions I get to feel from reading your fics is crazy 😭 Especially in the older brother Sukuna one!! I actually discovered your blog thanks to that fic, lucky me :D I love it soooo much!! I re-read it recently and it managed to make me cry again over the sheer amount of pure love and healthy relationship dynamics overflowing from it qwq Like some of the chapters felt like being in therapy fr 😭 the way I had to just pause and BREATHE sometimes coz of how emotional I felt asdfghjkl

The way you touched some heavy topics in the fic too, some of which were very relatable as well, and wrote them sooo beautifully, it all felt so so comforting to me- like I'm not rlly alone in experiencing all these deep feelings, which was just super healing and I just wanna say thank you for existing and pouring your heart out into making such a beautiful piece of work and sharing it with us 🫶 it's so so lovely! Also, I absolutely love it when authors write emotionally intelligent characters and I never imagined ever crushing on and kicking feet over Sukuna of all characters but YOUR Sukuna just made that come true xD 🩷

And I used to be a Geto simp initially but your Satoru Gojo as Taylor series singlehandedly made me fall for him so deep like I've been obsessed for months now 😭 I love all the fics of it so much, I highkey believe I've memorized the scenarios in half of them from how much I re-read them lolol and they still manage to evoke so many different emotions in me each and every time! You're simply an amazing author 👑 To add, I actually have never watched AOT or know anything about it but your content is so addicting that I feel compelled to read those fics of yours regardless 😭 just because I can already guess how good they'd be as well uwu

Like I've read so many fanfics over the years but yours are some of the most wonderful pieces that I've come across and they've become very close to my heart too :') especially bcoz they got me through some very dark times this year by being my wholesome and positive escape hehe 🤍 and I'm so grateful and so glad that you poured the time, energy, effort and TALENT to write all of them, and still dedicatedly put out chapters so frequently on your blog, which always makes me so happy and excited to see btw!!! I, and I believe many other fans, can't appreciate you enough for it!

Sorry it got so long unu but just wanna give you a big thank youuuuu and tell you that you're so sweet and have a beautiful heart and mind, and you only deserve nice and good things, stay blessed <3333 ✨ 💖

oh my goodness!

i put this under the cut because i basically have every intention to responding to every part of what you say!

first and foremost - thank you for lurking on my blog, even to the point where you read the asks that other people send me. sometimes (and for a good amount of time actually) i wanted to answer asks so bad but wouldn't because i was scared i was annoying my followers by answering them all the time or telling people random stuff about myself just because i thought they were just following me for the writing.

tldr. needless to say, that it makes my entire world that you read my asks - about interactions and a lot of the stuff that i've been talking about lately - and that you sent me this ask, because it's filled me with so so much joy and motivation to get back into writing

oh best friends older brother sukuna. god, i can't even talk about what that fic means to me in so many ways, and the fact that it's resonated with so many people has actually healed so many things in me. like i'm not even joking, i've literally talked about that fic and read asks/comments to my therapist to like prove to her that this was like something real and that i put it out all there.

even from a writing standpoint, i feel like in the past i resorted to most of the cliche miscommunication stuff because it was hard to come up with stuff that moved the plot forward. but it was really interesting to write that and make most of the stuff external - and it really made me think about characters/emotions/what motivates people most of the time. yes, miscommunication is a big thing in relationships and not being able to talk to one another effectively will put a damper on things - but other things can to. and damn it sometimes it's nice to just love each other the way you should and handle it with care (which was basically the entire point of that fic anyways)

oh god, it makes my entire world that you called my characters emotionally intelligent. honestly, those topics were never like supposed to be part of the story - and most of the stories i write aren't planned out. i start writing and something came out of me. i was very hesitant to post those chapters, but in the end just chose to honor the fact that they're complex topics, they're nuanced, what i'm saying isn't wrong but it isn't applicable to everyone and that's okay. and even the fact that people find it relatable is validating for me, because almost everything in that fic is derived from a personal experience of mine.

oh gojo as taylor. to be honest, i thought it kind of fell off for a while but GOD everyone loves to see it and it makes my entire world. the first fic that i wrote on this account, almost a year and a half ago now, was literally a gojo as taylor before a gojo as taylor. it's a good omen.

GOSH, i'm so glad you're here and that you've read the things that i've written. you've given me such such kind words about them - most that i feel like i don't deserve - but that mean the world to me nonetheless.

also i've said it before and i've said it again. people like you who take the time to leave asks, or comment on all the details in the chapters, or just leave feedback or say that they enjoyed something means the world. most fanfic writers do this for free. i usually come home from a busy day or studying for midterms or just being frustrated and use this as a way to let loose. and really, as a reader, you could just read it and move past it without any penance to me. readers who take the time to comment, interact, and kind of create this space to me is kind of what fanfic is all about - I feel like I have my own little town of friends who all get and understand what i'm talkng about, and the fact that people want to entertain that and be here with me means the world.

all in all, you are a gem. i'm sorry that my response is so long, but I had to do all of your sweet words justice. I hope you have a lovely lovely day my friend!

[perverse-idyll]

Your fanfiction works have moved me to tears, and so I'm wondering: has there been any HP fanfictions that have moved you to tears? Whether happy, sad, frustrating, beautiful or even funny?

Anon, that is such a lovely, lovely thing to say. Thank you so much. Readers' generosity is truly a gift.

But what has moved me to tears? I'm afraid long-term exhaustion has scrambled my memory, and I recall moments rather than entire stories that stir me. I'm not usually a crier; it's more the sensation of being stretched emotionally to the limit, in a grateful, painful, exhilarating way. So keeping that in mind, here's the best I can do. Maybe some of my friends, if they see this post, will chime in.

Rapture by mia_ugly. One of the most heartfelt Snarry fics ever written, but it was the breaking of the fourth wall that tipped me over the edge. That's somewhat tarnished now because it's harder to believe JKR once understood the spirit of compassion or love, but fortunately Mia's fic overflows with both.

Night-blooming heartsease by julad. Snape/Neville. Written long before the end of the series, so Snape is a little different than we see him now. Marvelous from start to finish.

A Matter of Intent by Florahart. Snarry, sort of. Snape is just so fucking brave here. It hurts.

Always Hungry by melora98, Snarry, again sort of. Sorry, I'm tossing you a bunch of oldies here. But this one hurt because Snape knew what he was doing. It makes me clutch my heart. He knew what would happen to him. And then his message to Harry - well, you'll see.

Morior Animus by Vain. Snarry, sort of. I hurt for both of them. An excruciatingly quiet and devastating little fic.

The Boy Who Lived by Delphi. Contains Snape/Dumbledore. Brief, beautiful, and the ending touched a chord in me that vibrated for a long time.

Father to the Man by Delphi. Snape/Filch. This fic is many things, but there's one section that makes me ache. And the ending is a rare example of the kind of hope that corresponds to a sweet pain. An "if only" sort of wistfulness.

Penultimate Acts by pasi. Snape gen. There's a moment toward the end that makes me dig my nails into my palms. It's a fleeting acknowledgement of how little chance Snape ever had to experience ordinary, I might almost say innocent, happiness. But it's the sort of moment that might not strike someone else the same way.

That's all I can summon up right now, barring the ones that twist the knife because they conform to Snape's canon death, such as Arrisha's The Syntax of Things, or fics whose entire premise is a tearjerker, like Cybele's If You Are Prepared.

I hope something in this list gives you what you're looking for, or even the same feeling it gave me. I know I'm leaving out a lot of glorious fics that deserve to be here, but if you don't mind other readers filling in the gaps, maybe they can dig up a few more treasures. ❤️

[austennerdita2533]

Hi friend-miss you!!

Really random but do you have any recs for just like fluffy happy fun books (or Klaroline fics). Feeling very sad (I’m fine I just finally moved and my mom came over to help me but she flew out today) so just need some joy but for some reason none of my tbr is screaming joy right now 😅 probably because most of the books on my “really want to read” tbr are angsty 😂 so just looking for some other options!

-ACOTAR anon

Hello there, lovely! I miss you, too! Between working like a maniac and traveling a lot this summer, I have been the world's worst correspondent. My inbox still is overflowing with unanswered messages from months ago because I. am. awful. haha. 😬😇

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling sad, though. :/ That's completely normal after a big move when you're away from everything and everyone that's familiar to you. It'll take some time to adjust, but I know it'll end up being a great experience for you and you'll blossom in all sorts of ways. 💖 That said, in the meantime, if I can help take the edge off your sadness with some fluffy book and fic recs then I absolutely will!

Book recs:

-When in Rome and Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams (These are the two I've read from her so far and they're in the same series. So cute! Honestly, I feel like you could pick up anything from her and it'd be adorable.)

-Funny Story by Emily Henry (Don't know if you've read this one yet but I feel like it's one of the wittiest of all her books. And Miles is a golden retriever boyfriend)

-Divine Rivals and Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross (It's a fantasy series that's set during a war between gods BUT the main characters fall in love over letters they write using a magical typwriter. It's cute, I think you'd like it.)

-The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center (I got an ARC of this a couple months ago and I absolutely FLEW through it. She writes a lot of cute romcoms) You could also check out The Bodyguard and Hello Stranger by her, too.

-Next-Door Nemesis by Alexa Martin (This one's fun because the main pairing have a history but then they decide to run against each other to be HOA president.)

-Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries and Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett (Another fantasy series, but it's more of a cozy fantasy. Emily and Wendell have THE best banter)

-Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren (I read this years ago, but I remember giggling and kicking my feet.)

-A Lot Like Adiós by Alexis Daria (Friends to lovers, fake dating, and second chance romance)

-I also currently have Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez and This Summer Will be Different by Carley Fortune sitting on my bedside table. Haven't read them yet but the summaries sounded the right combo of fluffy and summery to me

Fics Recs:

-Tbh, I haven't read any Klaroline fic in a while and I haven't bookmarked as many as I thought I did on AO3. (SHORTSIGHTED OF ME, AHHHH.) Let me have a think on this and I'll get back to you. Or, if anyone in the KC fandom sees this post and wants to drop a rec or ten in the comments then I'd be grateful.

Anyway, I hope a few things from this list will help cheer you up! *all the hugs*

[espectres]

' ... shou-kun. ' a flush in his cheeks as the angel flutters and descends. black feathers shed and the niwa's self-made stage seems to be readied this way, dark's violet receding back into daisuke's red as he removes the tall, decorated top hat from his head. he plainly expends every effort not to hide the boyish flush of his cheeks behind the accessory, his eyes nevertheless shining no less than illuminated jewels, as blissful as bashful, the light of them bouncing off of every complex, golden accent that accompanied the rich style of his clothing. although he had sworn to himself that he would be brave, standing before shou and decorated in another one of dark's dramatic choices still carried a hint of embarrassment with it. even so, his family had considered it a necessity for the occasion, and after a fluttered-cape twirl and bow, a blast of confetti bursts from the apparent empty inside of the hat with a loud, thrilling pop.

' --- happy birthday ! '

performances like this were one of a kind, witnessed by no one save for only the most select audiences. putting his arm into the inside of the hat, daisuke plainly rummages within at a depth far deeper than any ordinary logic should have allowed. he digs up to his elbow, until, judging by his expression, his fingers seem to finally gasp at what he's been searching for. cards? doves? none of the above. he nigh comically pulls out an enormous stuffed rabbit out from its tiny makeshift burrow, one dressed in a well-done replica of shou's most readily recognized varsity jacket, candies stuffed into its pockets to every brim, a ribbon and attached sealed letter bringing its welcome to completion. 'hello! i've come from the moon,' the elegant script inside would explain, ' where my friends and i sang and danced all day. i'm here to do the same with you, because someone was worried you might feel left out, or start to get lonely. '

the gift of shared rabbits between them, he hopes, was not too poor of a choice. nevertheless, he wasn't finished. with much less struggle, a fresh bouquet is also carefully retrieved. the velvety scent of roses blankets the air in an instant; pink, white, and red mingling with baby's breath, deep greens, and a small collection of sketchbooks carefully embedded into the floral ensemble, the first visible front of which was decorated by various yokai and ghosts to hopefully suit its recipient's tastes. certainly, it had been within the niwa's intention to grandly spoil. ' i ... we thought about a lot of things. dark and i, over what to get you, or what we could do for you. ' in the end, beyond the gift of something that would last and something that wouldn't, they had both agreed that simply spending time, and being grateful for one another's births and the privilege of their meetings, might have been the best. ' ... so i'm not just here to deliver, but also to invite. '

his heart pounding, the sensation of it immense and overflowing, with the motion of someone used to snatching calling cards out from some miraculous pocket, his fingers produce a set of amusement park tickets in an instant instead. an exquisite tenderness remains in his expression even as he endures every usual symptom: the burn of his skin, the soaring weight in his chest, transforming him into the great phantom thief again, though without any fear or terror. not before the one he loved and wanted to love; the one he, more than anything, wanted to dedicate even more of the precious time of his life to.

' how about it, then? can i steal you away for the day ? '

CELEBRATION HAS NEVER BEEN REALLY GRAND. With what has been made of his family and the ever changing currents of their lifestyle, such things as marks on the calender could only get pushed to the back of the mind as other events took place, and forced life to move much faster than his careless and often forgetful brain could process, let alone celebrate. There were years when this time of the year mattered, far back in the line of his memory, but much closer it was different. And truly? He didn't mind, he never did, with the difficulties that broke havoc through the life that he has known for himself and others who could possibly care, what can he expect? A text over the phone was more than he could ever ask for, and he never did. 

Eyes widen further as the confetti pops out of seemingly nowhere, snatching him out of the dumb trance of sheer enchantment that overtook him upon witnessing the angel thief's grand descent. The glimmering gold and the feathery black and how Daisuke's eyes reminded him of early morning stars trying to burn such a bright red, gleaming and beautiful in the last hour before the inevitable outshine by the brightest sun. He reaches out a palm for the tiny colourful papers and a few land onto his grip. A blissful grin grows against red dusted cheeks, the colour a courtesy of the cold December weather and every bashful and lovestruck emotion. He is sure nothing can ever outshine these eyes.

His head tips to the side curiously, grin still intact even as confusion makes itself visible in the slight furrow of his eyebrow. Tricks by the confidently powerless were always impressive, there was no questioning Daisuke's lack of anything otherworldly, aside from literally being cursed, but that was different- and thus there was no questioning his fascinating talent. Shou finds himself chuckling at how comically deep that hat was, ❝ Dude ... ❞ now how was Daisuke even doing all this? Shou could only gape and wonder as a plushie so ridiculously large gets pulled into existence and handed to him and oh, what the hell. He holds it at arms length, taking in the adorable look and the soft textures and the undeniably familiar jacket and the fact that it is real, that it has just came out of such a small fancy top hat and it's now in his hands and one could swear that sparkles of pure wonder could almost be seen with how absolutely awestruck Shou is. 

A wave of joy so enormous washes over the young Suzuki, it almost surprises him and his first instinct is to stifle his overjoyed cackles into the stuffed animal's soft body. ❝ It's so squishy ... ❞ He tells the replica jacket and the soft fake fur because he doesn't know if the weak words would reach Daisuke through them, but he really hopes they do and even if they don't he is sure this isn't the last time he'd be saying these silly things. Candies start falling from the full pockets with how tight he's hugging the thing, as though he could hold it strong enough and all the love stored in such a simple gift could seep through the contact right into his heart, even if it meant it could burst like a fickle heart shaped balloon and just kill him right then and there. His face partly shows, now red as the strawberries on candy wrappings. ❝ His name is Moko. ❞ He decides without deeper thinking, despite the embarrassment of confessing such details which he'd usually keep to himself and probably carry to the grave that way. But he needs Daisuke to know, he needs him to understand.

Flowers between them wasn't something entirely new, getting to know the sappiest parts of himself which liked the notions of classic romance seemed a little out of place, but it doesn't make the bouquet any strange nor less treasured as steps closer and takes it into his hands, as he searches and finds thoughtfulness embedded into every detail and every little thing and it all hits him right in the heart and all of a sudden he's dangerously close to what he recognizes as tears, he isn't sure if he could hug Daisuke now or later, it's still hard to expect this level of care from anyone, but it arrived in front of him anyhow and he can’t help but be overjoyed and overwhelmed and everything but over it. 

He places the oversized rabbit on the ground with a little too much haste, tiptoes to wrap an arm around the now much taller Niwa's neck and pull him down with a little too much force, because he has always been that way and maybe he doesn't know why he deserves all and any of this, but he is still trying to do better and it shows, in the form of lips to cheek, so soft in the way so many things about him aren't, but so intense like everything else has always been.

Could he ever truly express how much it all means to him? How does he ever deserve this? How does anyone? 

❝ Haven't they taugh you to be more careful with your heist ? ❞ He pulls back just enough to find the bright eyes and bask in their brave shine and offer a tease in the phantom thief's language, he briefly wonders if this is how it'd always feel like being with one, so whimsical and dramatic and true and so horribly sappy.

He'd definitely bring that up later, ask Daisuke if he's actually trained for such a performance and for how long, pester him to get some magician secrets to slip, ask him if he could take a photo of him in the extremely fancy outfit and watch adoringly as the sweetheart visibly flusters at the idea- for now Shou simply laughes incredulously, pulling closer and hugging the daylight out of his heart's thief, the culprit behind all of his rightfully stolen affection. ❝ You're gonna end up killing me. ❞

[cursesandcries]

i celebrated my birthday last Sept. 8 with only my closest friends and family (thank you to my brother and parents for sponsoring that dinner) and a realization dawned on me, and that is:

i love my friends so fucking much and i am and will forever be grateful for their existence. without them, i wouldn't be the person that i am today (minus the mhp lol). i realized that although my sick brain has been constantly telling me that i am unlovable, undeserving, and unworthy of love, my friends are always there to prove me otherwise. during my darkest times, my closest friends were the only ones who were always there by me (alongside my family, ofc, but this is a friends appreciation post so i will focus on them hehe). when i shut down and feel like the world is against me and my happiness, they reassure me that they are just there for me and they want me to be happy. and even if i didn't ask for it, they'd send me affirmations through tiktok videos on a random normal day.

i was so focused on looking for the romantic kind of love that i forgot about the platonic love that my friends give me unconditionally and relentlessly even though we do not constantly see and talk to each other.

if we talk about unconditional love, i already have it. i am already experiencing it. i realized that the greatest love cannot only be found solely in romantic relationships, but most of the time, especially in my case, i found it in my platonic relationships.

i always appreciate my friends, but on that day... i realized that "i appreciate them" and "i love them" are understatements. i don't have the right words to express just how /MUCH/ i appreciate and love them. i am grateful for the love they give me, and i can only hope that they can also feel the overflowing love that i have for them.

i thought that taylor swift's daylight should only be dedicated to your significant other, but as i listened to the lyrics, it resonated more with the love my friends have for me and the love that i have for them. my friends' love for me is my standard of love.

"i once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden, like daylight"

"i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things i hate, not the things that i'm afraid of, not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. i just think that... you are what you love." - T.S.

(incomplete mahal q sa bohai, di lahat ng tinutukoy ko sa post na 'to ay nandito hehe shararawt sa manila friends ko if only you're here huhuhuhu)