#I'm just hoping i don't flare up again Bc i have been doing better but I'm so nauseous again and i Feel. terrible.

[ame-to-ame]

really trying really hard to keep things Under control but God this is so fucked up

[scripted-downfall]

Ok but jpad has no emotional dept to his acting. Im currently studying acting. Like this is my college major. And when I say he has no depth, I mean he plays everything too hard. "The best emotion is suppressed emotion" is in acting 101 and he just does not get that. Jensen plays it bothe ways. Yes he can have clear emotions but a lot of time it's in his eyes or a nuance.

Then you've got Jpad who does the same thing every emotional scene. The same voice pattern for every line. The same eyes. The same... Everything.

And you'd think it'd get better with time.

Oh he's only 21, Jensen is 26, he'll grow as an actor.

Nope.

In fact.

I think he's better in the early seasons.

Come season 15 he still looks and acts like an immature college freshman just now with a beard.

Anyway...

Saw your post and had to share my own thoughts bc everyone I know thinks he's so good and I'm just HOW

Oh, hello!!! And thank you so much for the message; it's really interesting to hear from someone who has experience with acting as a vocation, instead of just from an observer's perspective. (I've done some acting --- in drama clubs and such --- but certainly nothing professional in any sense of the word; I have a sense of what is good/what works and what doesn't from an amateur's perspective, but the technical point of view you provide is awesome!)

I agree a hundredfold with your point about nuance: Padalecki's performance never really seems to have much. I mean, there's the occasional well-done gesture from time to time --- and I'll admit that the representation of Gadreel was sometimes decently good (largely, imo, because Gadreel was acted in a very earnest-bordering-on-deadpan manner... and, even then, I thought Tahmoh Penikett did far better) --- but Padalecki doesn't tend to do much other than cycle through the same basic Signs of Emotion. Indeed, he rarely manages to string them together believably, so it's more of a slideshow of "emotions" than it is an actual, seamless progression through them.

Your emphasis on sameness is precisely something I've tried (and, frankly, probably failed) to tell my friends of similar mentalities; I feel like you've put it into words admirably: he acts the same way whenever a specific emotion is needed. It's formulaic and flat. Anger = twitch jaw + flare nostril + (sometimes) a crinkle between eyebrows. Sadness = drawn-in eyebrows + squint really hard + sniff. "Compassion" = puppy-dog eyes + (what can only be termed his) Compassionate Face. It's like a math problem or something, not a real, human reaction.

I also definitely agree with your point about the earlier seasons: I do think that his earlier stuff was better. I don't know if he lost interest, gave up, or got cocky --- though I tend towards the last one, given his comments that (and this probably isn't a direct quote) "anyone could have played Dean" --- but his prowess, such as it had been, decreased sharply as the seasons went on.

I haven't exactly been subtle about the fact that I am very much a fan of Dean over Sam, so it probably should come as no surprise that I find his acting stellar. But Jensen is just a better actor in general. The nuance, like you said, is very rarely absent from his performances. Same with Misha; he's believable and realistic in a way that Padalecki never really is (imo). And yes, I recognize that some of this is personal preference, but I think there's just an objective difference between the acting of Padalecki and that of the other two.

Anyway, sorry for the long post... I'm sure you probably didn't intend to spark off a whole thing about this, and I doubt I added much, but I wanted to give your note the emphasis it deserved; your take is fascinating --- especially given, as I said, your experiences in the field --- and I also want to say thanks for sending it! I'm honored you reached out (and it'd be awesome to hear from you again, though no pressure) and I hope you're well!

[handweavers]

hey Kiran. um. not totally sure how to ask this. but i was hoping you could talk about some of your experiences with university as a disabled person of colour in Canada? bc i am those things as well (lol) and ive just about finished my first term and im thinking hard about whether or not i should continue despite the difficulty and youve spoken about some of that before. if you dont want to talk publicly i can come off anon

i'm okay with talking loosely about it publicly but if you want more precise/specific info talking privately would be better or if you want to know something that i don't mention in this answer. i also can't speak for experiences that i don't have, ie. my experience is my own and may or may not reflect yours or that of other disabled poc given the sheer diversity of people encompassed by that phrase. i'm just going to do bullet points here of stuff i think is most important off the top of my head:

- first of all, see if you qualify for the canada permanent disability student grant benefit if you aren't already receiving it. i'm familiar with OSAP but regardless of what province you're in, if you provide documentation that states you have a permanent disability to your province's student aid system and you show financial need you can receive up to $2000 per semester IN GRANTS (not loans) from the federal government as part of the canada permanent disability student benefit to help you with tuition and paying for other expenses, and even more if you do a spring/summer semester. again, it's paperwork and it's a drag, but that's a LOT of money that can make your life easier so you can focus on taking care of yourself and on your education. and again, i repeat, it's a GRANT not a loan, you don't have to pay it back.

- with that out of the way, i've found university exceptionally difficult and something i would only recommend if going to university is what is needed for the job you want to do or the field you want to be in. if you're unsure of what you want to do/what your goal is for university, or if what you want to do doesn't necessarily require a bachelor's degree, i don't think the pain is worth it. wait or do something else and then if you know for sure what you want and that you need a degree to get there, go ahead, and pace yourself. don't do a full course load, figure out what the sweet spot for you is and stick to that. my max course load is 3 classes per semester, less if i'm doing studio courses. if you have your disability status on file with your uni and with your provincial student aid system, you can take as little as 30-40% course load* (depends on the school and province) and you will still count as a full time student and reap the benefits of that.

- make sure that you have academic accommodations with your university's accessibility services, it can be a lot of work but it will save your life. having that & especially having accommodations that Require professors to give you extensions to assignments is so necessary and is the only reason i've gotten this far. the process for getting this & for getting permanent disability approved for student aid with the government various depending on your disabilities and can be exhausting and inaccessible, which is a problem in itself, but its completely necessary and something I personally would've been completely fucked without

- ive been in post secondary education for 6+ years now and i have never encountered a professor that refused to give me an extension on an assignment, including when I've submitted assignments late without mentioning it to them first, and outside of accommodations I put this largely on keeping an open and friendly communication with my profs. at the start of the semester I let them know that I have accommodations and will need extensions due to physical and mental health issues, and whenever i've had a flare up the first thing I did once I felt well enough to was to email them and let them know, and tell them that I am working on my assignments and will try my best to get them in as soon as I can. I have even submitted assignments weeks late, with an apology and amended with "I understand if this can't be marked/if it's too late, and I thank you for your patience with me regardless" and every single time they have marked my assignment without penalty. even if you have to suck up to them and apologize and do all of that shit, do it, because it'll save you. you don't need to elaborate and write your life story, just speak plainly and tell them you're having issues related to the reasons why you have accommodations and you're struggling but you're trying, and they will appreciate that. the vast majority of them want you to succeed and want to help you do that, you just have to try to meet them partway.

- if something fucked up is going on and you need help with a prof or some other kind of situation, contact your student union and ask them for help and they can either write on your behalf to wherever the complaint is best sent and follow up with it on your behalf OR point you in the right direction and offer support and resources. check if your student union has an accessibility rep and a rep for students of colour and contact them in particular, they are there to help you and they are your peers. they will also almost definitely have a food bank and can help you when it comes to your student medical insurance plan or any other concerns

- if you're on OSAP or other student aid and you need to drop a class, do it early, don't force yourself to suffer through it, because the longer you wait to drop it the higher chance you won't get a refund for the course, and if youre receiving grants that $ will be converted to loans if you don't get that refund. again, this is based on my experience with OSAP, but be aware of drop dates and plan accordingly. if something happens and you miss the drop date though, don't force yourself to suffer and stick through a course you know you cant finish. drop it before you get a 0 or failing mark on your file, because that can fuck you with the university admin side of things and get you on academic probation which can then effect your OSAP or whichever student aid service you have. based on experience I'd rather just get the $500 or however much tuition for that class cost me converted to a loan and deal with paying that back after I graduate, but of course it's entirely up to you.

[teklarn]

hi, this is my first ever ask so I'm not sure I'm doing this correctly, if that's the case I'm sorry; I don't know how tumblr works just yet >:')

would it be possible for you to write something about bakugo, pining incredibly hard for fem!reader and initially hating how strongly he feels about her? because they're not even friends, they only exchange few words occasionally and she doesn't even glance at his way whereas he slowly finds himself unable to divert his eyes from her during classes? shes always with damn deku and his friends and doesn't even seem interested in him at all but his heart can't ignore the way she looks at him proudly whenever they spar together, the way she sends him small confident smiles as they fight each other with all they have; so he thinks that maybe, maybe he might have a chance. basically bakugo liking reader so much he's completely lost in self-hatred because he always thought feelings were for weak romantics and not great people like him, but everytime he sees reader doing some badass things (again, like sparring with him and basically matching his skills etc...) he's reminded of how badly he likes reader? but when he finally accepts he's fallen for reader, after ignoring and trying to forget about how she makes him feel, he masters up the courage to confess? and it's a very clumsy confession because he's awkward and has no idea how to deal with those feelings? and he tries so hard to make reader realise he's never been more serious than now? and reader is startled and speechless before rejecting him? and at that point he's just completely humiliated, so he nods and walks away.

it might be a little dramatic but I've always been into unrequited love and one-sided pining. thank you, its okay if you don't want to write about this, i'll understand <33

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader (my hero academia) 

reblogs are greatly appreciated! 

a/n: AHHHHH this is so cute <33 honestly this is super exciting for me and this ask made me so happy, lovey. i’m fairly new to tumblr, i’m usually just a reader but i wanted to migrate here from wattpad so this made me so happy. here u are my love <33 i hope this lives up to what u wanted !! :)) a bit lengthy, but i had a lot of fun writing it !!! 

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 

genre: fluffy, fluffier than the clouds istg, however the clouds are sprinking a little teeny weeny droplet of angst. 

warnings: cursing (bakugou, duhh), one-sided pining (on bakugou’s part) second hand embarrassment (on bakugou’s part bc we can all agree he’s a complete idiot when it comes to trying to get someone’s attention), just bakugou being a jackass, i gave the reader a quirk 

word count: 3,859 

(pls excuse any typos or mistakes, i edited to the best of my ability but i miss some things sometimes !) 

- - - 

part 2 is here my loves <3

brutal. it was utterly ruthless. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t think right. his hands were already exceptionally sweaty, but gosh when he saw your damn face, he was ready to explode. literally. 

what the hell was it about you? was it your stupid smile? or the way you just seemed to carry every battle on your back? was it all the undeniably sweet things you do for others ‘just because’? 

it made him angry that he thought about you, but gosh he couldn’t wait to see you every day. 

just like any other day, bakugou found himself staring at the large door to the classroom, awaiting the moment you would bounce into his day, skirt shifting around your legs, bag slung loosely around your shoulders. 

his leg was bouncing eagerly. 

bakugou didn’t know when the feelings came. his cheeks just started flaring up all of a sudden and one day you just looked...different. you hadn’t done anything different to yourself. it was just him. not that he would ever admit that, to you or anybody else. 

you were insufferable. you were stupid and obnoxious and so...so damn... 

“y/n! come look at this!” 

you’d come walking into class just as expected, and as soon as you did, that stupid nerd had called you over. 

it didn’t help that deku sat right behind him, either. the two of you had recently gotten closer. bakugou noticed it last month when he yelled at the two of you to shut up about all might and get to work. he’d turned around to find you leaning over deku, hands resting on his shoulders while you peered at his phone. 

“sorry, bakugou,” you’d said, barely acknowledging him. you had waved him off like an annoying fly. is that all you were to him? some nuisance that got in the way of your oh-so-entertaining conversations with deku? 

all he heard nearly every day was your chipper voice talking to deku. always, “oh my gosh, midoriya, did you see the fight edgeshot was in last night?” or “midoriya! i have something to add to our quirk analysis book!” 

that was the one that took the cake. you two dorks shared a notebook, occasionally passed between one another, and filled it with junk about quirks and pro heroes. but no matter how much he tried to tune you out, no matter how he tried to zone off and think about something else, you were always there. it made him want to vomit how much he thought about you. 

you were doing an adorable shuffle over to midoriya’s desk and leaned over the table as you usually did while he angled his phone your way. “did you see this hero report?” 

deku let you slip the phone out of his grasp to get a better look. 

“no,” you breathed. “was this just recent?” 

“yeah,” deku said, taking the phone back. “last night.” 

“holy—” 

“can you guys shut up over there?” bakugou said, his voice quaking. 

“sorry, kacchan.” deku scrolled through the article. 

dammit, bakugou thought. “i wasn’t talking to you, nerd. i was talking to shitface over here.” he jerked his head towards you. his eyes flared in anger when he saw you were looking down at your phone, now focused in on the article yourself. “i was talking to you, asshat!” 

your eyes flicked up to his. you looked around for a moment before slowly pointing to yourself as if to say, “me?” 

his face scrunched. “yeah, you. you’re so damn loud.” gosh, he hated how his voice was cracking, how he could feel his ears and cheeks lighting up in a swollen, cherry red. his stomach flipped. 

she’s looking at you, gosh i’m sweating. i’m going to throw up. she’s so gorgeous. what the hell? they’re ugly as shit, i don’t think anything of them. 

his eyes bore into yours. 

“did you...need something?” 

your voice broke his trance. 

“kacchan, are you okay? you dozed off there for a second. you look like you’re burning up.” 

bakugou looked to deku who was currently stretching out of his seat, arm extended. he pressed the back of his hand to bakugou’s forehead. “you’re really warm, kacchan. should we call recovery girl?” 

it took him a moment to realize what was happening. his vision got blurry every time he was with you. bakugou smacked deku’s hand away. “i’m fine!” his voice lifted at the end, cracking. “i’m not sick. don’t you think i’d take better care of myself?” 

“i don’t doubt you take good care of yourself, kacchan, but everyone gets sick once in a while. there’s nothing wrong with that.” 

“i never get sick!” besides, if i got sick, i wouldn’t want you to be the one taking care of me. 

he was still pissed. he was always in a bad mood, however, more so right now because you’d gone straight back to your phone and that stupid hero article that was supposedly so damn interesting. 

soon enough, the bell rang, and you were seated at your desk. it was jirou’s old spot, however, after much convincing, you two had switched spots so you could be closer to deku. just a few months of getting close to the idiot and you two are suddenly best friends. jirou hadn’t minded one tiny bit, claiming she needed a break from how loud that section of the room was. 

late as always, aizawa came trudging into your room. thankfully, his entire body wasn’t obscured by a yellow sleeping bag that smelled of something unwashed and coffee and gasoline. (for some reason, aizawa’s clothes always smelled of it.) 

“lucky for you,” he began while shuffling papers on his desk, “all of you are doing training for these first periods.”

the class cheered in perfect unison, followed by their individual chatter. you had erupted with glee along with them, and bakugou was sure he felt his heart clench and then explode. just a tiny bit. but he shoved the feeling down just as quickly as it had come up. 

“go out to the field and wait for further instructions. don’t make a sound in the halls otherwise, i’ll expel all of you.” 

this shut everyone up in almost a second, the sound draining out just as water does. the first years trailed out into the hall, single-file mimicking the positions baby ducklings would take when following their mother. 

bakugou found himself walking faster when he saw you take up your spot in the line, hoping to land his spot right behind you. 

unfortunately, this idiot who considered himself bakugou’s friend tugged him back. “bakugou!” a familiar voice rasped. 

“shitty hair, let go of me.” 

“hey man, chill out. wanna partner up if we’re doing training in pairs?” 

bakugou glanced at the line, the spot that should have been reserved for him now taken up by sato. 

bakugou tugged his sleeve from kirishima’s hand. “whatever,” he snapped. 

“sounds good!” kirishima flashed him a toothy grin and a thumbs-up. the bubbly feeling in bakugou’s chest died down as he stood behind sato, the overwhelming scent of sugar filling his nose, various candies that would go straight to your arteries. 

“you smell like ass, damn,” bakugou remarked, squeezing his nostrils together. 

luckily, sato was tall enough to not hear the insult, as he towered over bakugou by just another head. the line began moving like a sloppy train down to the change rooms. 

bakugou scoffed as he listened to your giggle. he should be making you laugh. 

- 

“you’ll be given partners randomly from this box.” aizawa held up a familiar red box. “inside are all your names. i’ll select one, then that person will come up and pick another name from the box. that will be your assigned partner for today. as soon as you have your assigned partner, i want you guys to get straight to work.” 

denki raised a hand, speaking before being called on. “sensei, why are we getting random partners? we’re always allowed to choose.” 

“in the real world, you’re going to come across different villains every day. you’ll never improve your skills or your quirks if you keep fighting the same person.” 

denki sighed, slumping back. 

dammit, bakugou thought, gritting his teeth together. there wasn’t any way he wanted to be partners with you. it’s obvious he’d win the fight in the first few seconds. 

yes! exactly right! bakugou internally grinned. his fluctuating feelings had finally soothed themselves. you were just another extra, and he had no room for you in his head. 

aizawa took a moment to fiddle with the slips of paper inside the box. soon enough, he pulled out a name. “todoroki.” 

todoroki walked up, digging his hand into the box when aizawa held it out for him. he pulled out a name, delicately unraveling the slip. “uraraka, you’re my partner.” he deadpanned. 

the brunette grinned. “great!” 

the two found their own spot on the field, and the class’s attention was once again diverted to their grouchy teacher as he pulled out another name. 

“bakugou.” 

bakugou strutted up without a worry in his mind. he pulled a name to find... 

“y/n,” he said, voice a low growl. instead of the annoying fluttering in his chest, his eyes met yours, and they were filled with a different, new ferocity. he crumpled the paper in one hand, letting it twirl to the ground. 

you looked at him, unsmiling. your eyes gave away nothing, and to bakugou’s knowledge, all you saw in him was another opponent. 

it took him a moment to realize you had both locked eyes for about a minute. perhaps the two of you would have stayed as you were if aizawa hadn’t snapped at the two of you to get moving as yaomomo’s name was called. 

bakugou was on his way to the back of the field, you followed close behind. while there was plenty of room still, he chose a secluded area. while it was still open enough to view everything going on so nobody got hurt, it was often nobody chose to train here. for whatever reason, you weren’t sure. 

“wait up, bakugou,” you said. after a bit, you caught up to him. 

“if you can’t keep up, then...” then what? he looked at you from the side of his eye. “then don’t keep up...” gosh, here came the embarrassing, disgusting feeling of redness in his cheeks. 

you laughed. “what?” 

“shut up.” 

“you’re an idiot, bakugou.” 

“i said shut the hell up!”

“what, so you can call me shitface in front of the entire class but you get all pissed when i call you an idiot?” 

so you had heard him! 

he tongued his cheek, curling his hands around an invisible ball, explosions sparking in the centers of his palms. “don’t expect me to hold back, dumbass.” 

“i wouldn’t dream of it.” 

gosh he loved that about you. 

bakugou caught his thought in the air. 

ahem...gosh he hated that about you. 

you both charged in at the same time. his cry was louder than yours, but you struck first. 

he admired your quirk. while he’d overhead you explaining all the drawbacks it had, it was strong, and you were strong because you knew how to control it. 

purple arrows flew from your arms, going in your desired directions. if you lost focus for one moment, they’d vanish and weaken. if you focused too hard or long, you’d be plagued by a splitting headache. 

he’d spent too much time obsessing over your strengths and weaknesses.  

your arrows were weightless, however they were solid objects capable of carrying any mass, any thing, and worked as extensions of your body. 

the violet arrow had shot out at him, twisting around his right gauntlet and crushing inwards. it’d snaked around him without him noticing, slithering along his back. 

bakugou struggled to get the air-light arrow off his wrist, but it was no use. he glared back, only to see your focused, furrowed brows. he’d expected to see your cocky ass smiling. it was nice to see you weren’t. 

that was one thing that had also caught his eye. you never underestimate your opponent, but you never underestimate yourself, either. 

you conjured a larger arrow. it snaked around your right arm as you hurled bakugou into the air, releasing your grasp on him. you shot your other arrow into the air, and it raced into the sky. 

it swerved. bakugou’s eyes went wide as the tip of the arrow came down on his chest. if they weren’t intangible things, he would have been bleeding out. 

another drawback: the arrows, while they could solidify, they couldn’t do any actual damage. you had to use your surroundings to inflict harm on your opponent. 

he coughed out as the arrow shot him into the ground. he hadn’t even touched you, and here he was, vulnerable and so...so... 

you stood over him, hands on your hips. 

vulnerable and so lost in that adorable, winning smile. 

“get away from me, idiot,” he grunted and turned onto his side, his back crying out in pain. 

“i think i won this fight, bakugou,” you chirped, rocking on your heels. 

“don’t get arrogant, shithead. you won’t be winning against me anymore.” 

you grinned, arrows shooting out behind your back. 

- 

the dorms were exceptionally quiet. you were typing away in the common room, bakugou on the couch reading. everyone was off doing something else. it was the weekend, luckily. he’d expected you to go bounding out with everyone else, however you’d stayed back, claiming you had some homework to catch up on. 

bakugou being classic bakugou had stayed back. he was excited to have the dorm to himself, but your dumbass was stuck here with him. couldn’t you have done your typing in your room? 

you were so aggressive on that poor keyboard. 

“oi, quiet down with your shit typing.” 

you barely grunted in response. 

“don’t ignore me.” 

“i heard you, mom.” 

“the hell did you call me?” 

no response. only your aggressive typing is a bit less aggressive. 

“i can still hear it,” bakugou remarked, eyes fixed on your back. 

“‘kay,” you said. your typing slowed a tad, and your pressure on the keys lessened. 

it was quiet now. bakugou should go back to his book. he shouldn’t still be looking for a reason to talk to you. 

the pages crinkled in his fingers. he bit his tongue, keeping his snarky comments in. 

“you’re a fucking idiot, you know that? doing your damn homework. it’s due tomorrow.” 

you turned, pursing your lips. “and how would you know what i’m working on? are you stalking me?” 

“i- what? no. you’re such an idiot, of course i’m not—” 

“i’m messing with you,” you breathed, face un-moving. 

“o-oh,” bakugou stuttered out. he blinked awkwardly. 

“gosh, what’s gotten your panties in a twist?” 

“you’re annoying.” 

“you’re a jackass.” you returned to your work. bakugou settled with reading in his room. reading consisted of jumping onto his bed just as the stereotypical high school girl would in an eighties movie. he buried his face in his pillow, face burning bright red. he cursed you for making him feel this way, and hated himself even more for how much he enjoyed it. 

- 

the next day came swiftly. you’d left early to go train with midoriya. there were many improvements needed to be made, but you weren’t doing too bad.

you propelled yourself forwards with an arrow, and your green-haired friend shot back, lightning flickering around his body. 

landing back on the ground, you panted and swiped the sweat from your brow. from the corner of your eye, you could make out both kirishima and bakugou coming to the training grounds. 

bakugou stopped in his tracks, frowning at the sight of you. 

it was evident he hated you a bit more than everyone else. he was always making his annoying comments, he was always snubbing you. you saw no reason to talk to him, so you didn’t. either way, even if you tried, he would still get angry for no reason. 

it’d taken you quite some time to get used to his obnoxious attitude. tuning him out had been the best course of action, in your opinion. 

the way you and midoriya had bonded was through bakugou, in a way. the first day of school, bakugou had snapped at you for tripping over your laces and nearly crashing into him. later that day, midoriya had stepped up and apologized for his old friend’s actions. 

you two had never been too close until now. the recent incidents going on with the league of villains had snagged your attention, and it seemed you were the only person who didn’t mind listening to him ramble on about heroes. 

you were just as passionate and just as dorky, but midoriya could talk your ear off. you never minded, and he always took the hint when you didn’t want to listen. 

you brought your leg up, twirling in the air with ease and watched your heel collide with midoriya’s face. he grunted, stumbling back. 

you were about to charge in again when a hand landed on your shoulder, big and rough. you turned to see bakugou standing behind you, a scowl on his face. 

“fight me again,” he demanded. 

“excuse me?” 

“don’t act like you didn’t hear me.” 

“i’m in the middle of fighting midoriya right now.” 

“so?”

“so if you think that i’m just going to ditch my friend because you want to fight, i won’t.” 

“you’re being stubborn.” 

“i’m being reasonable. back off.” 

“y/n?” midoriya rubbed his jaw—right where you had struck him. “what’s going on?” he jogged up to you and bakugou. 

“he wants to fight me in the middle of our fight. it’s nothing serious. don’t worry about it, midoriya. let’s just ignore him.” 

bakugou made a sound someone would only make if they were choking. “the hell did you just say?” 

“we’re ignoring you!” you waved him off and placed your hand on midoriya’s shoulder, wandering away. 

-

it was new to him, not getting what he wanted. and what he wanted right now was to be around you. again, it wasn’t like he would ever admit that to himself. 

“dude? you good? i thought you went off to fight y/n. i was so ready to cheer you on, dude,” kirishima’s chipper voice piped in. “she’s not fighting with you? why not?” 

“the dumbass was just probably scared of getting her ass beat by me.” 

“dude...that sounds really weird.” 

“whatever, shitty hair. let’s go.” 

- 

the clock ticked. his ears were on fire. again. 

gosh, it was happening again. it was all you. his face scrunched up, his voice would surely crack if someone were to ask him what was wrong. 

bakugou was once again stuffing his face in his pillow, hiding his expression from no one. why did you have to go train with that shitty nerd? why were you always around deku? deku, of all people. what did he have? why was he so great? 

bakugou was a man of many insecurities, but losing to deku? that was possibly his biggest fear. 

perhaps he wasn’t the nicest, or the most soft person out there. bakugou could admit that, at least. but he was smarter than deku. he was stronger and he was better and people liked him more. right? 

what was so...amazing about deku? 

it was often bakugou would find himself obsessing over little, insignificant things such as these. 

you were what he was thinking of most of the time. just yesterday, he’d gotten a test returned. he was expecting an eighty at the lowest, but more so expecting a high ninety. it’d come back exactly sixty percent. 

sixty. percent.

bakugou vividly remembered staring at your face. he also remembered not being able to focus because of it. his grades were dropping because of you. 

you were the only person to be able to do this to him. 

his heart grew quiet, but the pounding of his didn’t cease. he lifted his head. 

“alright, fine,” he said aloud. “you win, y/n. you win.” 

he settled with getting over his feelings the way he’d read them in his collection of romance manga. 

bakugou left his room and knocked on your door. (he was banging on it, but it was his nice way of knocking.) 

you answered, looking around awkwardly. “yes?” 

his hands shook. how was this supposed to go? sure, he’d seen it in romance movies and read it in books but it was always easy to tell whether the guy would get the girl or not. 

in this instance, bakugou was clueless. for once in his life, he was clueless. you stood, tapping your foot with a hand on your hip, waiting expectantly for him to tell you why he was here. 

“um.” he scratched behind his neck. “you uh- i uh...i’m sorry i called you a, um...a shitface.” 

“okay? is that it?” 

what? come on! it was already unlike him to apologize. what else did you want from him? 

“did you...i’ve been thinking, maybe? maybe we could..train together as...friends?”  

“...what?” 

gosh dammit, as friends? 

“whatever, um...the uh...” oh gosh, what did the boys do in all the books he’d read? right! bakugou stretched out his arm, resting his forearm on the door, leaning to the side. 

although he didn’t, really, because like the clumsy jackass he was, bakugou missed completely and nearly toppled to the floor. 

this earned a snicker from you. 

his stomach flipped and churned, and bakugou found himself unable to reach your eyes. “uh, would you maybe..? okay, um. do you want to go on a date with me? you absolute fucking dumbass.” 

your eyes flew wide. “...what?” 

“no, that’s not what i— i mean i didn’t mean the last part. um, i meant the first part. the first two parts. the part where i was asking you if you wanted to go on a date with me and then before that when i said maybe because it’s still a maybe until you say yes. or...or no because that’s an option too.” 

he swallowed. 

you resisted the urge to mock him, just a little bit. “um, bakugou, listen.” 

he leaned closer. “yes?” 

“it’s going to be a no. i’m sorry, but i’m just not interested in you like that.” 

it took him a moment to register everything. his shoulders sagged. gosh that was brutal. 

“oh, alright.” 

“yeah, uh, sorry about that.” you offered him a weak smile, still a bit shocked yourself. he did his best to return it, and when you closed the door, his face was ready to explode. 

it was so damn difficult to deal with these feelings, but maybe it was better this way. knowing where you stood on your end, he knew he wouldn’t miss out on anything. 

perhaps it was alright to admire from afar. things could happen in the future, right? 

right now, he’d just wait. for a long, long time. bakugou pressed a hand to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. maybe it was alright to not have you right now. perhaps he could better himself for you. just for you. 

[velvett-tearss]

Black Tea & Blushes — L. Ackerman

summary: The two of you never got along, but there were times that even fire and ice made a perfect pair.

warnings: cursing, no spoilers for anything past early s1, Levi’s a little shit at first (surprise, surprise), mentions of blood (they’re fighting titans :-) lol) gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

genre: semi-canonverse, fluff, enemies to lovers (?)

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this was very self-indulgent lmao, sorry if it’s a bit messy 😭, <Hange, Connie & Sasha3 make an appearance bc I love them and you should too, hope you enjoy it <3

"Couldn't you have gotten a cadet to do this?"

You raised a sharp brow at the man, trying to keep yourself from flipping his desk over. "Would you have yelled at them like you just yelled at me?"

The man's grey eyes didn’t meet yours, but there was a scowl on his face. Despite his steely eyes, he didn't say anything back. Instead, he pursed his lips and turned back to continue his paperwork.

You huffed in an attempt to ground yourself after being yelled at for the past two minutes. You took a sip from your own cup of the tea you had prepared for him, letting yourself savor the taste.

     "I don't understand." you said, tasting the earthy, black tea. "You said it was too cold last time, so I made sure it was extra warm. What's wrong with it? Is it too sour for you? I only added a few drops of lemon this time."

Levi remained silent, but you stood your ground, tapping your boot against the pavemented floor as you waited at his desk for an answer. You wouldn't let him win, not this time. Day after day, it seemed like he only grew ruder and ruder.

Your dislike for Levi Ackerman started the day you met him. He was still just a soldier when you joined the Survey Corp, and it wasn't long after that he become Captain.

He was mean, and he never seemed to care about anything, but God forbid you make a reckless move out in the field. It was as if all hell broke loose if you used a bit too much gas when slicing the nape of a Titan's neck.

     "Not everyone is Humanity's Strongest." you had spat at him when he scolded you on the way back to the walls. That only earned you a glare, seeing as Hange managed to secure your safety. If it weren't for them, you were certain you would've gotten stuck with stable duty for a month's end.

     You were glad he was nice to them, at least.

     At some point, you got promoted to Captain as well. One would think that since you shared the same rank, he would grow warmer to you, but that was another one of your mistakes.

     Everything about him rubbed you the wrong way, from his disagreeable manners to his awful way of speaking to soldiers. And, it was your disdain for him that got you stuck in this mess.

"A cadet could've done this." Levi stated again; you felt like you were being patronized. He raised a brow at you, holding the teacup in his hand. "A cadet could’ve made better tea than you.”

"Obviously not, Captain." you threw back sourly, snatching the cup from his hand. "A cadet could not have done this because if I hadn't interfered two weeks ago, who knows what you would've done to the poor man. And, all he did was make your tea wrong!”

Levi blinked at you, appearing bored with your conversation. "If you hadn't interfered, that soldier would be back with those good for nothing Military Police Officers doing what they're best at."

     You gritted your teeth. "And, what are they good for, Captain Ackerman?”

     His brow twitched slightly. “Absolutely nothing."

You let out a bitter laugh, placing the white ceramic teacups back on the tray you had brought in. "Now that you say it out loud, that reminds me a lot of someone I know."

     "What an awful way to talk about yourself.” Levi threw back with ease.

     The urge to roll your eyes at him was weighing on you, but you were stronger than the immaturity he seemed to bring out in you. "Captain, you must be growing old if you've already forgotten we're the same rank."

     Your decision of keeping yourself calm in his presence payed to be of use when you noticed the slight pause in his pen strokes at your words.

     But, you were well aware of how trustworthy Levi was in the sense that you knew he could always come back with something even worse than what he's told you before.

      "If you were of any use, you would know what's wrong with your tea. I'm sure even King Fritz could tell good tea from awful tea, and he's the most useless of them all." Levi told you, pen moving over the papers in front of him swiftly.

     "He could probably also tell a grown man from a spoiled brat," you told him, taking the tray with you as you left his office. "But, you make even that task seem impossible."

     You had to stop the triumphant grin from growing on your face when you heard his faint scoff from the other side of the wooden door.

Even if you managed to snag the last word of that argument, it didn’t feel as good as it usually did. The only reason you involved yourself in Levi Ackerman’s nightly tea was because 1) you didn’t like the way he spoke to the poor soldier who got stuck with job of handling it, and 2) Erwin asked that you try and be a bit nicer to your fellow captain.

You only did it to keep your job, really, and you would never let your Commander think less of you, even if he did favor Levi. Even Hange had tried to coax you into not letting The Ackerman’s sharp tongue get to you, but that didn’t seem to work.

Levi and you would never be friends, if that’s what Erwin meant when he pulled you aside at supper a few nights before. It was a lie to say you didn’t admire the man’s impressive skills, because you did.

But, admiration and respect were two separate things.

The two of you were jagged edges of broken glass that didn’t fit together, and that was perfectly fine. You didn’t mind being Levi being a sharp piece of glass, just as long as he kept his corners to himself and far from you.

Erwin, as observant as usual, caught on to the solution to your problem, and he even made sure you and Levi would rarely ever cross paths when the Scouts were out on an expedition. The two of you worked on opposite sides of the formation.

The only time you would ever work together would be if there were no other options, but both of you were reliable in your own senses: him with his... whatever he called it, and you with your wits.

You didn't mind being farthest from him, and if it were up to you, you'd go even farther.

     “Hey, you got new glasses.” you stated, noticing the new pair of brown frames that Hange wore the morning as the Scouts waited for the signal to begin the expedition.

“Oh, don’t remind me.” they said with a frown, holding the glasses in their hands. “Last night, Moblit and I were doing some research, and someone must’ve stolen my glasses because I couldn’t find them this morning.”

“Stole? Isn’t that a big accusation?”

They let out a hearty laugh. “It is! That’s why I’m saying it!” Hange replied, golden eyes widened at you in exasperation. “I’ve been stuck with these, and they’re too big for my face. All they do is fall off.”

“So maybe don’t wear them?” you wondered as you caught a glimpse of the dark head of hair you knew too well. “What’ll you do if you lose them out in the field? Better safe than sorry.”

“I wish, but I’m as blind as a bat without them.” Hange reasoned with a sigh before quickly composing themselves. “But, now that you mention it, I never did mind a challenge.”

The smirk growing on their face was one you didn’t quite like. Before you could talk some sense into them (if that were even possible) the signal went off to begin the mission.

They gave a wide smile and a thumbs up as a good luck token. "Don’t do anything crazy!” you called out when the two of you parted ways, taking your squad with you. “I mean it, Hange!”

Hange waved you off, charging in faster in their horse. It was up to poor Moblit to chase right after them.

Your squad remained close together for the majority of the mission. There wasn't much to do on your end of things, which was a relief. At some point, you decided to stop for a quick break before pushing forward.

If you were able to see five mintues into the future, you would never have let your squad talk you into taking a lunch break. Just as you were relaxing a bit, there was an Abnormal coming from the thick trees.

Your sense of smell wasn't as skilled as Miche, and if it weren't for one of the younger cadets on your squad who had a keen sense of hearing, you all would've been Titan food.

It didn't take long for you to spring into action, your squad following suit. You made sure to use the plans Erwin had issued out on previous Scout meetings.

When the Abnormal finally made it to where you and your squad stopped, the beastly creature managed to catch one of your soldiers in midair. As the young boy was raised in the air, his stomach couldn't contain his recent lunch.

Gravity works in wonders, you thought when his earlier lunch fell onto you with a splat! You couldn't blame the poor boy; it was better upstairs than downstairs. As terrible a feeling it was to have chunky vomit all over you, you knew it would be as even worse feeling if the boy died under your care.

Your squad got to him before any damage was permanent, at least physically. When the killing blow was done, you tended to your soldier. He muttered out apologies for having thrown up on you, but you were merely in the line of fire.

"It's okay, Connie." you reassured him after pulling off your green cape that had been soiled in aid to shield you. “I’d rather it be your lunch on me than your organs.”

You ordered that he ride with your other cadet, Sasha. He let out a pained laugh at your words, leaning against her on her horse. She scolded him for “wasting so much food,” to which lead to their silly banter, which you didn’t mind as long as they were safe.

     As unfortunate as it was, that incident wasn't the last of it. There wasn't much time between Connie getting his ribs crushed by a Titan and the numerous amount of red flares that were being shot into the air.  The amount of red powder in the sky was enough to cast a shadow of worry over you.

     By the time your squad made it to where the red flares had been signaled, it was a mess. Abnormal and Pure Titans were ambushing the rest of whatever was left of the Survey Corp. Your squad wasted no time in following your orders as you made a beeline for the trees where a group of Abnormals were huddled together.

     When you finally got a good look at the scene in the forest, your sight was met with Titan smoke and blood of fallen comrades. It was a disaster, as it always was. But you knew, where there was smoke, there was definitely fire.

And, that fire was Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

He looked ablaze, nothing but a flash in the distance. Slicing Titan limbs as if they were merely flowers in his way, Levi Ackerman was kicking ass. It was in moments like this — where he looked like the answer to all the prayers of the people inside the walls — that you wondered if you truly hated him all along.

“Section Commander!” Moblit cried, chasing after Hange as they swung on the highest tree of the forest. It seemed as though they forgot all about how loose their glasses were as they did a number of twirls in the air. His voice was enough to snap you out of your trance and assist your fellow comrades.

You managed to fight off three Pure Titans and two Abnormals for what seemed like forever. It might’ve been even worse if not for Connie Springer’s lunch all over you that acted as Titan Repellant.

Perhaps you would tell Hange of your new discovery, but every time you managed to get close to them while fighting off the Titans, all they did was badger you with questions upon questions.

“Are you sure you haven’t you seen them?!” Hange cried for the fifth time, eyes squinted at you from their branch opposite you. Moblit was fighting off a creepy Abnormal with ugly teeth a few feet from you.

“No, I haven’t! And, didn’t I tell you your glasses would fall if you took them with you?!” you shouted back from your place on the tree before taking a breath to try to slice the neck of your second Pure Titan. “Go back to the wagon, Hange, before you get yourself killed!”

They huffed and puffed, but they let Moblit guide them to the wagon to wait until the rest of the Scouts could find a moment to retreat back to the walls.

After finally slicing the nape of your final Titan, you looked over to where you had last seen Levi. Only, he was nowhere to be found. A panic set in when you couldn’t find any sight of him.

“Captain?” you called out from your place on a tree branch where you were catching your breath. You squinted your eyes to get a farther look, but it didn’t help that much. “Captain Ackerman, are you there? Do you—”

But, that’s when you felt a jostle of wind hit your back. You turned quickly to see the dark-haired man swinging through the trees, holding an unconscious Oluo.

You followed him, figuring if you took his squad member off his hands that Levi would have a better chance of taking down more Titans. Maybe even with a man who weighed far more than himself in his hands, Levi could still have a better chance than you.

“Captain, I’ve got him. I’ll take—”

But, Levi wouldn’t budge. It was like he wasn’t listening to you, and you didn’t know if it was by choice or coincidence. You huffed and rushed quicker to help him in carrying Oluo.

Maybe it was just your luck, or maybe it was just his, but right before you managed to reach him, a Titan’s jaw came from below him, wide and ready for lunchtime.

There was nothing for him to do, not with his hands full. Surely he knew that from the way his grey eyes finally broke through from that awful void he’d placed you in, the one where all you ever got from him was scoldings and insults and cold stares that often made you wonder if he actually did hate you.

And, for the first time, you saw panic flash through his grey eyes, his life flash before his eyes.

“Levi!” you cried, using the rest of your ODM gear’s gas to catch up to him. You knew if he were to survive such an event, he would scold you for wasting your gas on an old lump like him.

But, for once, Levi had something to say about you that didn’t regard your incompetence to make decent tea or your recklessness that spurred you to use all your gas just to save him and the bullheaded, baboon by the name of Oluo.

It was your astonishing speed.

You got to the two men right before the great wide jaws of the Titan could snap closed and swallow the three of you for its meal, which Levi had to admit (but probably never would) was quite impressive.

“Shit!” you hissed out when the three of you landed on another tree branch. As quick as you got to the branch was as quick as Miche was to come and ensure your safety, slicing the Titan’s nape with ease.

Oluo was still unconscious and a little bloodied up and battered, but he was safe.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Levi yelled, voice slightly hoarse from everything that had just happened. His hair was a mess, and you held back a laugh at the sight of him. “Why— why would you? I mean, what— and, why do you smell like—”

“A thank you is perfectly fine, Ackerman.” you coughed out, catching your breath from the overexertion you just forced yourself through. Carrying two grown men was tough, especially when it was between life or death. “As for the smell, one of my soldiers threw up on me.”

Levi blinked at you, his expression consisting of disgust and confusion. “What?”

“My soldier. He threw up on me earlier.”

“I heard you the first time.” he told you, blinking quickly as if it were going to grant him some clarity. You didn’t know if his confusion was from your act of saving him and his squad member or from not knowing what to say to you after.

He looked funny, with his hair that of a bird’s nest and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Did you hit your head on the way down?”

“W-what?”

“Your head? Did you hit it?”

“No, I-I’m fine.” he scrambled upright, finding purchase on the unconscious Oluo’s shin. Your eyes flickered to where his hand was placed, and he snatched it right off immediately, burning a deeper shade of pink.

“Oh.” you muttered, holding back a chuckle. There was no way Levi was without a concussion, not with the way he was acting all of a sudden: stuttering and turning pink on you. It was a wonder you caught up to him before he collapsed.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Captain?” you asked again, fixing your uniform before getting to your feet. You wobbled a bit; Levi raised a brow at you. “You look sick. Why don’t you sit in the injury wagon for a bit on the way back? Just in case.”

He waved you off, standing on his two feet as well. You didn’t want to cause a fight, not right after what had just happened and not outside the walls, so you decided to say nothing about his seeming concussion.

The two of you lifted Oluo off the ground, blood seeping from the side of the man’s mouth. “Is it his ribs? Was it an Abnormal? They were awful today.” you questioned, looking to Levi for answers.

“He bit his tongue, again, before ramming into a tree.” Levi told you, averting his gaze from you as he shifted the man against his shoulder for a better grip. “He said something f-fell from the sky.”

You nodded, letting yourself chuckle. “What could it’ve been? Bird shit?”

Levi shrugged at your words.

He was far too quiet for your liking. Maybe he did have a concussion. It wouldn’t be good if he rode back like that. Perhaps if you spoke to Erwin or Hange about it, one of them could convince Levi to get checked out once you got back to the walls.

The two of you managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts safely. You helped Levi placing Oluo in the wagon with the wounded and the fallen while everyone else was getting accounted for.

All the while, Hange was trying to persuade Erwin into letting them form a search party for their glasses that had fallen while they were swinging on the trees.

Though you were straining to listen to their conversation, you were more than certain that Erwin would never allow such a thing, but you had to admire Hange’s efforts, as fruitless as they were.

“Thank you.”

You snapped your head to Levi.

He refused to meet your gaze again, busying himself with readjusting his soldier’s cape. If not for the obvious step into uncharted territory between the two of you, you would’ve commented on the rosy blush he adorned.

Suddenly, you were overcome with a laughter, waving him off with your hand quickly. “I was just joking about that, Captain. Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but I’m just surprised you actually—”

He scoffed, the expression on his face shifting to one of impatience. “Don’t be a brat. Just take the compliment.” Levi huffed out, visibly annoyed with your chatter.

A look of shock overtook your face. “Oh, so you’re complimenting me? Why didn’t you just say so, then?”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant—”

“No, it’s fine. I heard you, loud and clear.” you interrupted, smiling widely at him. “You’re oh-so very welcome, Captain Ackerman, and if you ever need me to save your ass again, you know where to find me.”

Levi opted to say nothing back, merely shaking his head at you when you gave a lazy salute and started back to the other side of the formation where your horse and squad awaited you.

“Besides,” you shrugged, turning back for a moment to catch him looking at you. “Who else would teach me how to make tea?”

note: I don’t think I specified it, but Oluo was knocked unconscious bc some object (Hange’s glasses) fell from the sky lmao 🐸

[horce-divorce]

I am feeling kinda downtrodden today if I'm being tbh... I know I should reach out to a friend or something but idk who really cares to hear about my health problems in detail anymore, and I have some friends who specifically don't like to hear about that... I need to try to find like a peer support group for MALS or just, ppl with rare disorders. cause the more I learn about this shit...

the prognosis is bleak, man. Moreso than my doctor led me to believe. I'm doing shockingly well comparatively but it's going to keep progressing and theres... basically nothing I can do? Even surgery isn't a guarantee at a better quality of life, and despite my best efforts, it's only been getting worse. So are my other issues. There is no going back for me. I've fantasized about it for years, about how I might like to have my own photography business, how I'd like to do transcripts full time bc I'm good at it, how I'd like to work in the cannabis industry, or like any number of weird and fulfilling things i might have liked to do, in that nebulous future where i just. Was used to being disabled and could learn to do stuff i used to again. Going back to college someday. But it's not gonna happen. I'm irreparable. My condition will only worsen and has been already for a long time. Taking care of myself was a full time job even before I was gonna need surgery and constant monitoring of my symptoms and to be dosing myself all day just to live, and now we're there.

I think.... it's time to finally suck it up and apply for disability... more than 10 years I've been trying to prove that Ill Just Learn To Live Like This and insisting I'll figure it out eventually, and I've only gotten worse. I'm not looking forward to the process to begin with, but also, now I'm transitioning, how is that gonna affect things? Is it harder to change your name once you're already on disability, and should I do all that shit first? Or should I just. Apply and deal with shit later. Idk. It's terrifying and I don't know if anyone in my IRL life is prepared to help me emotionally thru this process cus it's gonna be a lot for so many different reasons and like. I'm so scared. :/

I'm looking into finding a therapist primarily about this whole ordeal. But in the meantime I am just. So tired and in so much pain and it's so hard to do the most basic of things right now. I'm having a horrible flare and I get scared every time they get worse, that maybe someday I'll stop getting flares and it will only be bad all the time. I'm still glad for my diagnosis but... it's just so bleak and so painful and I feel like my doctors dropped this bomb on me and then left me completely on my own... so i hope u can all forgive me for depressedposting on main today... I try not to so much these days but being sick really is so much work. And I just wish someone else was as invested in all of this as I have to be. I don't get a choice in dealing w all this and I just feel so alone.

[itsadamcole]

graduation day

fem!reader x finn balor

Finn is reader’s English professor. He's spent the semester doing everything he can to make sure he doesn't do anything deemed inappropriate to her. Little does he know that reader feels the same way. The day of graduation, reader stops by Finn's office and the two confess how they've been feeling .... "is this what you want?" & "i've never wanted anyone to fuck me this bad before."

word count: 3k+

warnings: smut, a brief student/teacher relationship, sex in a semi-public area (office)

— enjoy this that i wrote at 3 am bc i was bored and couldn’t sleep .... idk what made me even think of this honestly. maybe it’s the thought of finn in a suit, idk .... there also could be a part two to this, i may need to think about it tho —

masterlist || part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You've always found your English professor attractive. He's made the school day bearable. Everyday at 3 pm, you'd walk into that classroom and everything would instantly feel better for that hour long class.

When he would teach, you would look at how his muscles looked in his shirt or how well his pants hugged his butt. He'd notice you looking at him but never thought anything of it because he thought you were just paying attention to the subject of the day.

Finn's always found you quite attractive as well. You've made his school day exciting. Everyday at 3 pm, you'd walk into that classroom and his day would instantly get better for that hour or so of class. After he'd assign his students their work, he'd always sneak glances at you.

You had noticed these glances but never thought anything of them because he occasionally glanced up to make sure everyone was doing their work.

It was graduation day today. Your white gown and cap hang in your car as you pulled up to campus. You hoped that Mr. Balor would be here. He'd told his students on the last day of classes that he'd be in his office from noon until 3 on graduation day to make sure everyone's grades were okay or if anyone needed to talk about how nervous they were to be graduating college.

It was 2:45 when you parked your car in your usual parking spot in the student parking lot. No one was here on campus. It was practically empty. Everyone wouldn't be arriving until five or six for the scheduled seven o'clock graduation ceremony. Only faculty members wandered around campus, packing up the last few things from their offices no doubt.

You got out of your car and checked the time again on your phone. 2:47 pm. The English building was at least a five minute walk from the parking lot. You'd just barely make it.

So you ran. In your white three inch heels you'd decided to wear to graduation. The skirt on your white dress you decided to wear under your gown was flaring out as you ran toward the English building. You pressed your hands down on the skirt so nothing would be revealed to any onlookers. You were terrified that you would pop out of the dress too as the neck dipped very low, revealing a lot of your cleavage. The dress looked a lot like the famous white Marylyn Monroe dress, just a lot shorter and the neck was more lowcut.

Finn was wrapping up in his office as you made your way across the large campus. He finished filing the last papers he had to and he turned off his computer. He leaves his office to run down to the teacher's lounge area to clear out his things from that room.

You check the time again when you arrive to the doors of the English building. 2:52 pm.

You'd been to this building so many times. The classroom you looked forward to coming to everyday was located in this building. His office was located two floors above the classroom.

You take the stairs, running up to the fourth floor.

As you walk down the hallway of the office floor, you check each room's name plate as you walk by, looking for the "Mr. Finn Balor. English Professor" name plate on the door.

One room door was open. You approach it and look at the name plate on the wooden door.

Mr. Finn Balor. English Professor.

You swalllowed, walking into the medium sized room.

Everything was neatly packed away. Everything filed. Computer off. His supplies were neatly placed on his corner desk that took up about 25% of the space in the room. His jacket hung on the back of his desk chair. The backpack full of summer work sat on the black leather love seat that faced the desk on the other side of the room. The door marked the halfway point between the desk and the love seat. Two book selves were placed opposite the wooden door. The medium sized room had a cozy feeling to it.

You had never come to his office before. You were too scared. Scared that something would happen and he would know about your little crush that you've had on him since day one of class in January.

Finn noticed this. How you'd never ask for an appointment or stop by his office for a question. Your grades were excellent and that's why he assumed you never stopped by.

You wait a few minutes in his office to see if he had gone somewhere and will come back. 3 pm approaches and your hopes diminish. He probably left.

You let out a defeated sigh as you make the decision to leave.

As you walk out the door, you physically run into something. Not something. Someone.

"Miss L/N," the all too familiar Irish accent said. "Nice of ya to stop by. I was just thinking about ya."

You finally meet Mr. Balor's too blue eyes and you ask, "You were?"

He nods and walks around you into his office. You swallow nervously as you stand in the doorway and watch as he places a box full of objects on the large desk. "I was hopin' to get to see ya before the ceremony," he says. "I'm glad ya are here."

"Why's that?" you ask curiously, walking into the center of the room.

Mr. Balor looks over at you before he says, "I wanted to congratulate ya on your big day and because ya passed Honors English with flyin' colors. Ya should be very proud of yourself, Miss L/N."

You say, "Thank you, Mr. Balor."

He blinks at you before he says, "Ya graduate today, Y/N. Let's stop with the formalities, shall we? Call me Finn."

"Finn," you echo, trying to get his first name to sound more familiar than foreign. Calling your professor by his first name is not something you had done during the semester.

Finn smiles as you say his name. "So, Y/N," he says, dropping all professionalism. "What brings ya to my office on graduation day? I know it's not to talk about grades."

You shake your head and say, "No, it's not."

He packs a few pictures on his desk away into the box he'd just brought into the room as he asks, "So what do I owe the pleasure?"

Nervously, you say, "I wanted to come talk to you, um, about how I've been feeling for a while."

The packing stops as Finn looks up at you. "Nervous about graduation?" he asks.

You rub the back of your neck and say, "Not really."

"What's going on?" Finn asks, leaning back on his desk. He crosses his arms over his chest and his ankles.

The light grey button-up shirt Finn is wearing is tighter than usual and accentuates his arm muscles when he does this simple movement. It's tucked into his black dress pants. The first few buttons are unbuttoned. He's dressed somewhat casually.

You say, "I graduate today. In about four hours, I will no longer be your student and you will no longer be my teacher."

Finn nods along as you speak. "That's correct," he says.

Before you say anything else, you quickly run your fingers through your Y/H/C color curls. "I thought that now would a good time as any to tell you that over the semester, I've developed some feelings for you and I find you very attractive," you blurt out, trying to speak as slow as you can but it still comes out as a mess.

He's caught off guard by that statement. In that one sentence, he's realized that when he thought you were paying attention to the content on the board, you were looking at him. He's realized that you never came by his office was because of your crush on him. He's realized that you feel the same way that he does about you.

You watch as Finn lets out a sigh of relief and you tilt your head in confusion. "I'm so happy that you said that," Finn says. "Because I've been feeling the same way."

That's when you realize that the glances he's been stealing from you all semester were because he felt the same way. He could never keep his eyes off of you while you concentrated on your work.

A smile forms on your lips as you look at your soon to be former professor.

Finn smiles at you as he walks over, closing the door in case anyone was around.

"It has killed me over the past four months to be your teacher," he says as he approaches you.

You look up at him and ask, "And why is that, Mr. Balor."

He smiles and says, "Because it's prevented me from doing this." He leans down and lightly presses his lips to yours.

You've envisioned kissing Finn a bunch of times, his his soft kiss exceeds all your expectations.

As your lips move against Finn's slowly, you drop your arms. You hadn't realized that you crossed them over your very exposed chest while having that conversation with Finn.

The light kiss continues for a second before Finn pulls away and looks down at you. Even in heels, you're about five inches shorter that Finn's five foot eleven frame.

"Ya look absolutely stunning in that dress, Y/N," Finn says, complimenting you.

Your face turns a light red as you say, "You don't look too bad yourself, Finn. Is that what you're wearing to the ceremony tonight?"

He shakes his head and says, "I had a suit I was going to wear tonight but now, I don't think I'll be wearing it."

"Why won't you be wearing it?" you ask.

Finn says, "Because if ya think I'm going anywhere right now, you're crazy. I won't have time to go get the suit from my place and make it back here on time for the ceremony."

You glance at the time on the clock in the office. It's close to 3:30 now. You look back at Finn and say, "There's still about two hours before everyone starts to arrive for the ceremony. There's plenty of time to kill."

His eyes scan you as he says, "I plan on killing every second."

In one movement, his lips are back on yours. This time, they move more harshly and passionately than they did the first time. Your hands fly to cup Finn's face.

Finn's hands go to your thighs and he lifts you up, walking you over to his desk and setting you down gently on it. His tongue makes its way into your mouth as the kiss intensifies.

You find your fingers on the buttons of Finn's button-up after you pull the shirt up to untuck it from the waistband of his pants. Your fingers work to undo each button quickly but carefully.

He shrugs off the shirt and your hands run up and down his toned chest and abs. Finn's fingers are under the skirt of your dress as you kick off your heels. The digits slowly slide up your thighs, closer to your throbbing core. You are aching for him, just like you have all semester. Except now, you'll get the satisfaction of his fingers instead of yours.

The thought of Finn's fingers inside of you is enough to make you wet. Well, wetter than you already are. The white colored panties you're wearing are probably ruined at this point.

Finn's free hand works at sliding the sleeves of your dress off your shoulders. The fabric falls, exposing your breasts to Finn.

He pulls back from the kiss to look at your exposed chest. "So beautiful," he mutters under his breath. "All mine."

Finn pushes you back on his desk and stands between your legs as he starts to kiss and suck on each breast. You let out soft sighs as your core starts to pulsate again.

You need Finn to touch you before you explode.

"Finn," you gasp.

He looks up at you with his eyes and he asks, "Something wrong, my love?"

You swallow and say, "I need you to touch me. Down there. Please"

Finn crouches down in front of his desk between your legs. "Of course," he says, pushing your skirt up to expose your panties. "Already so wet for me."

"Only for you," you sigh as Finn runs a finger over your clothed core.

He takes the waistband of your pantie in his fingers and pulls them down slowly, almost teasingly. He sees just how wet you are. Your folds are soaked with arousal.

Finn kisses your thighs and says, "I've always wondered what you've tasted like."

You throw your legs over Finn's shoulder and say, "I want your tongue. Please." Desperation is laced in your voice.

He smirks and runs his tongue slowly through your folds. You gasp and smile. He sucks on your clit for a second before swirling his tongue around it. You feel him push a finger inside of you, making you moan softly. Finn moves the digit slowly, teasing you.

You reach down and run your fingers through Finn's short hair as his finger speeds up. He soon adds a second finger. He stands back up, hovering over you as he fingers you. You're a moaning mess beneath Finn's touch.

Finn kisses your neck gently as he moves his fingers a little faster. Your body jerks under his touch occasionally as you're pulled closer and closer to your pending orgasm.

"Ya taste so good," Finn says against your neck. "And ya take my fingers so well."

Your fingers run up and down his back lightly as he speeds up his fingers, adding a third one. You gasp and moan as his fingers move inside of you.

Right as you're about to reach your orgasm, Finn pulls his fingers out and you whine. He sucks on the three digits he had inside of you before he says, "Get on your knees for me, my love."

You nod and get off the desk. You get on your knees in front of Finn. You reach up and start to undo the button on his pants. You pull down the article of clothing and run your finger over Finn's hard member. You free him from his boxers. You're shocked by the size of Finn's member. You knew he was packing but not this much.

You take Finn in your hand and pump him a few times before you take him in your mouth. You start slow and shallow before eventually taking most of him in your mouth. You move your head, sucking occasionally. Finn starts to thrust into your mouth as saliva drips down your chin.

Finn groans softly as you suck him off, but it's not long before he stands you up and his lips are on yours. You push the dress off your body, stepping out of it.

He turns you around so your butt is pressed against his erect member. He gropes your breasts and kisses your neck. You gasp and moan as his member runs through your folds.

You're bent over the desk and Finn spreads your legs apart. "Is this what ya  want?" he asks.

"I've never wanted anyone to fuck me this bad before," you admit.

That's all Finn needs to hear before he pushes himself into you. You grasp onto the desk as he pulls out, only to thrust hard into you again, making you moan.

Finn's trusts are hard and deep from the beginning. He's waited a while for this moment, and so have you. He's not going to be gentle with you.

You pull your left leg up onto the desk and hold it, giving Finn more access. He thrusts harder and harder, making you moan loudly.

When Finn finds your g-spot, you let him know immediately. "Oh, Finn," you gasp. "Right there." He starts slamming into the spot over and over again, making you moan louder and louder.

After a few moments of this, Finn stands you up and turns you around, laying you on your back across the desk. He thrusts harder into this time and his lips are on your neck. You gasp and moan as he moves.

One of Finn's fingers rubs your clit as he thrusts hard into you.

You lift Finn's head up and kiss him roughly. Your tongues battle for dominance and his hand rests around your throat.

A thin layer of sweat has formed on both your bodies as he continues moving.

Your walls begin to clench around Finn and he pulls back from the kiss, resting his forehead on yours. "Come with me, princess," he says, out of breath.

"Tell me when," you gasp.

After a few more seconds of movement, Finn says, "Now."

The two of you come together. You let out soft moans and whines as Finn helps you ride out your climax. He collapses on top of you. The two of you sloppily kiss for a few seconds before detaching from each other.

Both you and Finn get dressed but the kissing and touching doesn't stop. You make your way to the love seat, where you lay and makeout with Finn until six.

He walks out of the building with you and walks you to your car. Other seniors have begun arriving by this time.

Finn says, "Come by my house around nine tonight. I'll show ya a real celebration then."

You stand in front of Finn and look up at him. "What will this mean for us?" you ask. "Will we get to see each other after I graduate?"

He says, "Let's cross that path once that graduation cap is in the air and you've officially graduated."

You giggle and nod. "I'll come by at nine," you say. "Tell me the address and I'll be there."

Finn tells you his address then says, "See ya when ya walk across the stage."

"I can't wait."

[iwaqchan-archive]

Dialogue prompt: "Because I once swore I would protect you!" "I don't need to be protected every single moment! I'm a person, not something that can't function on its own!"

The wind was blowing through the trees, as you made your way through the woods. Your body was aching, in places you didn´t even know could ache, and you were sure the green haired boy trudging beside you wasn´t feeling a lot better. You had been walking through the forest for what felt like hours, which it probably had been, both of you beaten up and bruised after a particular nasty fight against, what was supposed to be, some minor villain. It had left you completely drained, and frankly quite pissed, especially after Izuku had, once again, decided to play the knight to your damsel in distress. Except that you weren't so much in distress as he likes to believe, in fact you could have handled the situation on your own, very well. But Izuku had this instinct in him, ever since you were little children, an instinct to protect people no matter what. More often than not he had tried to protect you from Katsuki's wrath, and gotten terribly hurt in the process, and even back then you told him he didn't have to, you could take care of yourself.

But he wouldn't listen, he never did. And it drove you mad, especially now that you were both very capable Pro-Heroes. He still didn't understand that you did not need his protection, did not need him saving you. You could feel your frustration surfacing again, as your eyes started to water in anger, with your hands seemingly starting to clench themselves into fists on their own. Dull nails cutting into your calloused skin, sure to leave bruises in their wake. Izuku seemed to notice your inner struggle, as he tried to gently place his hand on your shoulder, in an effort to calm your shaking form. A gesture that proved to have the opposite effect on you, as it only made your anger flare up even more. Something which led to you lashing out at your friend.

"Why do you always have to safe me?", you asked him, your eyes still filled with salty tears as they bore into his green ones.

"Because I once swore I would protect you!", he countered with a desperation in his voice that matched yours. At this, your anger rose rapidly, reaching an all time high.

"I don't need to be protected every single moment! I'm a person, not something that can't function on its own!", you screamed at him, with venom now more than ever evident in your voice.

The tears were now prominently flowing down your face, and Izuku was trying his best to form any comforting words, but ultimately stumbling over his words.

This was enough for you, turning your face away from him in anger as you walked away in silence.

♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡

A/N: you didn't say which character you wanted this with, so i just wrote it for izuku bc it seemed the most fitting for him, i hope that's alright for you!! also pls idk why they would be walking through a forest?!

[compassionatereminders]

Hey Kat! I hope you're doing well. Things have been kind of stressful for me the past few days. School started again on Monday and on one hand I'm glad to have a structure in my days again, on the other hand I know how stressful this year is going to be. There are a lot of changes coming and bc I can't cope with them some issues I've gotten mostly under control have flared up again and gotten more intense than ever. It's at a point where I think I definitely should go to therapy (I've wanted to for a very long time, now it's just at a point where I feel like I can't handle some things at all) but I don't know how to tell my parents that I'm not really doing okay. I'm scared they'll feel guilty about it no matter what I tell them and that's the last thing I want and besides that I struggle with communicating my feelings with them generally. There's also sports class looming in the back of my head which can give me anxiety attacks just thinking about it and that not exactly being an environment where you can protect yourself against covid is not making it better. I desperately don't want to participate but "being a little nervous" is no reason to just not do something at my school. I have the class on Thursday and I really don't know what to do about it, I can't play sick the entire year but really don't know how I'm supposed to go through it every week. On a more positive note tho, I've worked on my mindset lately and I've gotten more confident with my physical appearance over summer and I'm actively working against my perfectionism now. That's something that's always been a very big issue for me because I used to be labelled as a "gifted child" and internalized the high standards everyone had (and some people still have) for me. I hope I'll be better at handling that this year!

It sounds like you've been working really hard on your own - and even though it's a tough and painful conversation to start, I think you should let your parents know you need a little help. You can make it very clear to them that it isn't their fault you're struggling and that literally anyone can experience mental illness. I get not wanting to worry them, but something I've had to learn the hard way is that eventually your facade will fall apart and then they'll worry even more than if you'd asked for help earlier. So don't let the fear of upsetting them talk you out of asking for therapy. In the long run, opening up about your struggle now will be better than waiting till you start falling apart for real. It's better to confess and ask for help on your own terms than postponing it till your illness forces its way through. (Once again I'm talking from experience.) So please speak up. Let your parents know you're struggling so that they can help you get professional help!

[per1shed]

Heyy sorry for replying like 4 days later💌 ahah but thank you for the message and new years wishes! It saddens that you were alone, there could be some solution for y'all to spend the evening together, why the heck would your mom leave you on such a day.. you seem not to be bothered I mean I don't see into it but I wish I could be there w you as I didn't really enjoy it that much, just ate sm food, felt bad about it and watched tv. It was weird without my sister. And I think she loves him way too much, it's been six years of them being in a relationship and she loves him too much, plus she's that type that can't stay mad for too long and indecisive as well, makes her super easy to get manipulated. I could tell her to leave him, she'd agree and then he'd tell her to come back the same day and she'd agree as well, she was trying to stay mad and try to broke up but he was crying and begging telling her he can't imagine having family with anyone else.. Then she would tell me how bad she feels and that it will be the last chance. Not to mention she kicked her out of their flat in the middle of the night last year, he'd steal her keys when she forgets to buy some food, break her things. He got pretty rich during their relationship and now he is prob thinking it's her duty to do everything else ... I don't know what to think anymore I just don't get invested in it. But he got these two sides to him, I got to say I can't stop liking him because I never got to see that other ugly side and we like each other a lot I think it's also because we're both water signs and get each other.

It's nice hearing you got to meet ur therapist again so you feel back on the track and more positive I guess? I can't really tell if it helps you in that way as I'd need one myself. My anxiety got so bad as I don't leave my house that often, I spend like 30 minutes deciding to step out, planning thing ahead even going for a walk, I feel good afterwards but it's so limiting and drives me crazy. :/ Plus my dad got some back pain and I want to visit him in another town and can't bring myself to go, I think I'll go tomorrow if I don't change my mind 10000 times till then. btw this is so random but how is your english so good? I'm not native speaker as well, I've always been pretty good at it I also enjoyed learning russian.. sending hugs <3🥰

hey my love <3 also sorry that i’m replying so late!! first of all, it really wasn’t a big deal being alone on new years! i’m happy when i can just follow my routine and don’t have to do anything that will cause a flare up and i didn’t want to ruin it for my mom so it’s fine!! <3 i really hope your sister can overcome it one day bc this type of person probably won’t change :/ the good moments can never outweigh the bad :( i’ll send both of you virtual strength to overcome it. as for my therapist, i’m really glad she’s back!! even tho i’m sad we only get to see each other once a week now, it’s better than nothing. and the anxiety thing, i really really really get it. i can promise you the only way to not feel scared anymore is to do it over and over again until it feels natural. it will probably not feel good in the beginning but you WILL get better with time and practice. and a therapist would help a lot ofc! did you visit your dad that day? if not i’m still proud of you for trying <3 you can start over every day. as for my english, i’m from germany and it’s taught here from 5th grade on, sometimes even earlier! i also grew up on the internet1, didn’t leave the house and didn’t have friends so i was always online and HAD to learn it. ive been on stan twitter since i was 12/13 😭 and i also just really like languages!! what about you? your english is very good as well!! <3 i hope you’re having a good day today 💌

[luminescencechatoyant]

Summary Ellie is nothing like her on screen character, neither is Pete Dunne.

Word Count 2594

everything that sounds like its made up, it probably is. If its really all rights reserved to the company's mentioned, Tyler is 21 BC I forgot how young he was until halfway through writing oops

ekayyla, tumblr.com

Ellie was nothing like her on screen persona, her character was the nicest, sweetest character Ellie had ever seen on the WWE and Ellie wasn't. Ask her friend and she'd describe her as an arsehole, Ellie just liked to think she was closed off. She didn't like people and if she didn't have to talk to them, she wouldn't - simple as that, not hard to understand really.

She hadn't come to the WWE to make friends, she hadn't started wrestling to make friends - she wrestled because she had terrible anger management and her therapist told her to. That's what she told people anyway, truth was she absolutely admired Lita growing up. All she ever wanted in life was to be as badass as her and not take anyones shit. Growing up in an countless foster homes, she was meek and quiet and never spoke unless spoken to, until she realized she didn't have to.

She talked back, she argued and if they still didn't see her point, she fought harder. She fought for everything other kids had handed to them, she fought to be respected. And who else was a highly respected but still badass woman? Lita.

She'd met her once when a particularly nice foster carer had noticed how much she liked to watch wrestling and bought meet and greet tickets. Ellie cried when the mother told her, she cried and she bawled. She was so happy.

So she met Lita, told her how she grew up in foster homes loving her and Lita smiled, hugged the tiny nine year old and signed her shirt with a stay strong, ellie scribbled on the front. She loved that shirt like she loved her foster mom, until the Alabama bush fires took her shirt and her foster mom. Ellie didn't smile for a year afterwards.

Abusive foster parents and a rough childhood left Ellie hostile to the world, she fought when she could, girls and boys behind the school, behind the diner on the corner near her house, anywhere.

It wasn't until she was fifteen that the school therapist suggest she find an outlet for all her anger, she tried soccer, football, hell, she even tried dancing. Nothing worked until the therapist told her about the new wrestling school opening up on the better side of town.

Ellie hadn't watched wrestling since she lost her foster mom and she spiraled out of control, standing on the steps of the wrestling studio had her heart hammering in her chest and hands shaking like a leaf. It wasn't until another girl near her saw how nervous she looked, took her by the hand and gently guided her into the gym.

Maria had been a few years older than her and already wrestling for a few years until her parents had relocated to Ellie's small town. Whenever her panic attacks would flare up or Ellie needed a hand with moves, Maria was there with a guiding hand and a calm voice. Whenever Maria had boy problems or girls were harrasing her, Ellie was at her back or standing by to give out hugs, something she didn't particularly like doing but it was Maria and she deserved her hugs.

So on Ellie's 16th birthday. Maria and her parents surprised her with a party and a certificate of adoption. She cried, hugged Maria and her parents, hugged the few people that came from the wrestling gym and cried again.

Eight years later, Maria and Ellie debuted on NXT and not two months later, Maria was the new NXT Womens Champion and Ellie had yet to be pinned. She'd had plenty of count-outs and disqualifications but she still hadn't been pinned until she'd aligned herself with British Strong Style.

Trent Seven, Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne were absolutely lethal in the ring and out. Seven and Bate were two of the most welcoming people she'd met in the company, her personality just clicked with theirs right from the start.

Pete Dunne was nothing like his on screen persona, yeah he's an arse, but hes never standoff-ish like his character. Ellie would rather describe him as sweet, since she'd met him he'd done nothing but try to get her to open up to him. He'd bring her coffee in the mornings and drop her home when Maria couldn't, it had taken her three weeks of being an arse for Maria to slap her around the head and tell Ellie not to be so rude.

She tried not to from then on, she thanked Pete for the coffee, invite him inside for a cup of tea after he'd drop her home and eventually it evolved into more. On free days, she'd invite him over to watch a movie and they'd cuddle on the lounge.

Pete started to ask her over for dinner, her and Maria were invited to nights out with the boys, gym sessions were mandatory and afterwards the boys would share their vegan pizza.

Ellie couldn't help herself, she started to fall for the Bruiserweight with a heart of gold. It killed her to watch him dance with girls when they went out, but she did, she turned around with a smile because all she wanted was for him to be happy. If it wasn't with her, fair enough it wasn't with her - but he was happy and that made her happy.

"C'mon love," Trent's voice echoed through Maria and Ellie's apartment, "If you don't hurry up we'll miss our booking!"

"Bowling lanes don't wait for wrestlers!" Ellie snorted when Tyler yelled out, he'd taken the joke baby of the group literally - It was a rare sight not to see him joking around.

"I'm coming! Don't get your knickers in a twist." Nora bounced down the stairs and waved her arms extravagantly when she hit the bottom, "Ta-da!"

"It took you that long to get dressed..." Trent hesitated, "...into that?"

Nora glanced down at her shirt and jeans with a frown, "I think I look fine."

"Pete likes it when you dress up." Tyler, the non stop voice of wisdom, spoke from where he was slouched on her coach.

"We're going bowling," Nora said plainly, Trent flicked any eyebrow up with out a word, "Fine, fine! I'll get changed."

She walked down five minutes later with the same shirt on, only tucked into a leather skirt, "Happy?"

Trent nodded with a smile, "Let's get out of here."

"Finally!" Trent sighed, rolling off the couch and hobbling out the door like a old man.

"You're nineteen, you bloody drama queen!" Trent snorted and followed him out the door.

It doesn't take them long to get the address Pete texted through and when they find their lane, Pete and Maria have cold beers waiting for them. Tyler downs half of his in one go and throws himself into a chair, Ellie rolls her eyes and slips into the chair next to Pete.

"Thanks guys, how was the meet and greet?" Ellie asks as she sips her drink.

"It was great," Pete's eyes flick up from Ellie's leg, "The fans were amazing as always."

"Oh, El -" Maria jumps in her seat and starts to dig through her bag and Pete gets up to start the game, "- there was this one little girl that wanted me to give you this."

She hands over a tiny bead bracelet with ELLIE ROCKS spelt out on it. Its bright yellow and doesn't match her outfit at all, but she slips it over her wrist anyway because her fan made her this. They poured their heart into it, she snaps a photo to upload twitter later so she can find the parent and send her a shirt.

"Your turn love!" Pete hollers from the point screen and gesture at the lane.

"Don't laugh at me, guys," she says as she slips her bowling shoes on, "I haven't bowled in years."

"You'll do fine, " Pete says as she grips the ball uncertainly, he see the uncertainty on her face and smiles softly, "Here, I'll give you a hand."

His large hand comes to rest on her elbow and straightens it while the other one sits on her lower back, a glance back at the group shows none of them paying attention but when she look back at Pete his face is inches from hers. Her breath catches when his eyes flicker own to her lips but then he steps away and she's left reeling.

"All you gotta do now is throw the ball down the lane." Pete tells her, his voice low, and then turns to sit with their friends.

She turns her back to them and stares a the lane, what the fucking fuck? She shakes her head and swings her arm, closes her eyes and just hopes for the best. The ball slams into the wood with a loud crack and not a second later sinks into the gutter, her second go is not much better and she turns back to the group with a shy smile.

"Told you I was no good -" she stops and eyes her friends, they're obviously trying to hide their laughter and Pete's face is bright red, "...what are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, hun." Maria stands up to take her go and whisper into Ellie's ear as she passes, "Pete was a bit too interested  in watching you bowl."

She dumbfounded for a moment before she realizes that Pete was sitting directly behind her, he had a perfect eyeful of her being over. She stifles a giggle at his slowly fading red cheeks and pats his hand, "Get a good look, Dunne?"

He frowns as Seven and Bate laugh loudly, ignoring her in favor of his beer. Ellie watches as Maria bowls a strike and lays her head on Pete's shoulder, "Sorry for teasing."

Pete shifts and drops his shoulder for her to lean on more comfortably, "All good, love."

"Were you really staring at my are?" Ellie asks as she traces pattern on Pete's bare arm that's resting softly on her  thigh.

"...yeah."

"Pete!" She laughs and nudges his arm off of her, but he catches her hand and bring it up to his lips.

He brushes a soft kiss against her knuckles and stares evenly into her eyes, "Its a very nice arse, love."

"Pete!" Trent hollers, "You're up, mate."

Pete drops her hand into her lap and moves to take his turn, Ellie watches him walk away until Maria plops into the open seat. "What was all that?"

"C'mon," Ellie pulls maria our of her seat and towards the bar, "I need another drink."  

"Wait, what happened?" Maria stumbles behind her and watches as Ellie's head slumps into her hands at the bar.

"I have it so, so bad for Pete." Ellie groans from behind her hands.

"Well, duh."

Ellie glances up at her from between her fingers and snorts, "I shouldn't even surprised that you already know."

"Is it that obvious?" She sighs as they collect their drinks.

"Yeah, I mean-" she hesitates, "I don't know if Pete knows but he's usually pretty clued on when it come to these things. He knew Peyton and I liked each other before we did."

"El! Its your turn!"

Ellie sighs and orders another round for the boys, the waitress is quicker with these ones and they carry them back to the boys. Pete's eyes follow Ellie as she sets the drinks down and grabs her ball, she swallows nervously and glances back at him, winks slowly and bends to take her shot.

She bowls a strike and turns back to the group smugly, "Someones gonna catch up."

Tyler rolls his eyes, "She's gonna be a sore winner, isn't she?"

"Always is, kid." Trent barks a laugh when Tyler's face falls.

They keep bowling until Tyler wins, smugly throwing his arms up and parading around with a toy wrestling belt he'd smuggled in for the winner. Ellie laughs and gives him a high five because she may be a sore winner, she's not a sore loser.

They wander over to the arcade and avoid the sea of children surrounding the kids toys. Ellie laughs as her and Maria fail spectacularly at Dance, Dance, Revolution, pouts childishly when Trent's demolishes her at buck hunting-

("Its not fair, you cheated!"

"...its buck hunting, El. How am I possibly able to cheat at it?"

"I don't know but you did, anyway.")

And laughs like a hyena when she beats Tyler's record at PacMan, who vows to never leave the machine until he beats her record,

(Trent and Maria pull him away five minutes later.)

Ellie wanders around the arcade until she finds Pete lazily throwing basketballs in the back of the arcade, she's stopped for a moment when she sees his arms flex in his singlet. She leans up against the side and tries to keep her eyes from ogling his arms, it doesn't work very well but Pete hasn't complained yet.

"I bet you I can sink all of these balls." Pete wages as he stuff another token into the machine and watches the balls drop.

"What's the wager?" Ellie's asks and settles on the seat of a motorbike game next to him.

"A kiss." He says, she eyes his face and sees not one trace of humour.

"Here?" She glances around, "Pete, there's kids everywhere."

"We'll find somewhere."

He's dead serious and she figures it can't hurt, he won't sink them all. "Fine."

Oh, how wrong she was. As soon as the words left her mouth, Pete turned and sunk the first ball, followed by the second, then the third and another after that. She can't watch, she closes her eyes and listens to the swish after swish until the buzzer sounds and she's jerked out of her seat. She briefly notices the 30/30 on the machine before Pete pull her from the arcade, hurries out of the building and has her pressed against the side of the building in minutes.

His lips press against her roughly, leaving a scorching trail of heat when they brush. Their teeth knock, their lips bite and hands grab everything they can, hers are grabbing his shirt, his are sliding down to her thighs before she's lifted and pressed against the wall harder. Rough hands press under her shirt and along her ribcage, she arches into his touch and -

"You have to return those shoes! They're property of the - oh."

- flinches away as the shoe loan worker swings around the corner. Pete drops her quickly and she blushes as she fixes her shirt. The shoes are pulled off and Pete and Nora are left standing in the shadows with socks on.

"Go home, kids."

They mumble apologies and flee to Pete's car where Nora pulls their shoes out of her bulging bag, she laughs airily and leans against the hood of Pete's car. "Well, that was fun."

Pete smirks and arches an eyebrow, "Fun? I just had a heart attack!"

"Don't be a wimp." She laughs and runs her hand over his shoulder. He catches her around the waist and draws her closer to him, pressing her between him and the car.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" He asks as he brushes his lips against hers.

"Hell, yes."

[jadehqknb]

I'm not sure if this ask is good enough but maybe a scenario about Bad Boy!Oikawa and a person he's so interested in, but his charms don't work on them, they're oblivious, and they always seem unimpressed (they secretly like him back but do a great job hiding it from him). Sexual tension would be great but you can avoid NSFW if you want! I picked Oikawa bc I thought it'd be interesting to see him chasing someone so hard, feel free to swap characters if you want! Thanks ❤︎

Holy moly this ended up WAY longer than I planned and awhole lot more serious without much NSFW or even sexual tension but hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

She remembers him from high school, he can tell by the lookof shock on her face. He can’t really blame her though. Anyone from those dayswould be surprised to see Oikawa Tooru, former pretty boy of the Abojosaivolleyball team, sporting an arm sleeve tattoo, a lip piercing and wearingripped jeans.

Pushing away from the wall, he approaches, stride steady, aconfident smirk on his face. But just before he meets her eyes again, a girlinterjects herself between them. Tooru’s former tendency to indulge his fansexerts itself immediately, old habits do die hard, and by the time he’s donewith her the object of his initial focus is gone.

Clicking his tongue, Oikawa shifts his gaze over the crowdedfrat house. There’s people everywhere, the semester kickoff party in high gear.Finally, he spots her on the dance floor and goodness can she move that body!She’s grinding up on some dude who looks about ready to cum in his pants.Oikawa is openly staring at her, willing her to make eye contact but she’seither completely oblivious or completely uninterested because she never onceloses her focus on her dance partner.

And Oikawa decides right then he wants that attention onhim. Sure, he’s always been a bit of an attention whore, but who could blamehim coming from the environment he did back in high school? Other than Iwaizumiof course.

His eyes stay riveted on her, still moving fluidly, sexily,and fuck now he’s got a tent in his pants just from watching her! Then again,it’s been a while since Oikawa has had any action of the bedroom variety. Justbecause his team is rough and tough doesn’t mean they don’t work hard.

Terushima makes certain of it.

Oikawa laughs a bit to himself thinking back on their first officialmeeting. He’d only ever seen the guy at tournaments, his team loud and flashy,but horribly erratic. Then something happened that shifted his focus and inaddition to having fun, he got smarter. His whole team got smarter.

And now he’s Oikawa’s captain.

Shaking his head, Oikawa zeroes back in on her. She’s stilldancing, smiling with sultry eyes and moving her hips just so.

She can feel his gaze on her, its intensity rippling overher skin like electricity but she remains focused. He’s not going to havethings go his way, not tonight. Because she’s in control and he’ll just have todeal with it. The song ends and she leans up, pecking her dance partner quicklyon the cheek. He goes to make a move but she shies away, giggling, “Thatwas fun, thanks for the dance,” then she’s absorbed into the crowd but notwithout stealing a glance at Oikawa only to find him still looking right ather.

Damn. Well, she almost made it without giving him a piece ofthe attention he craved.

And it’s only wet his appetite for more.

The next day Oikawa is still thinking about her, her sultrysmile, her bedroom eyes. With a self-deprecating laugh, he realizes he has acrush! An honest to goodness crush. He can’t remember the last time this hashappened, where his attention was so fully fixed on anything besidesvolleyball. Practice over, he makes his way back to his dorm only to see hersitting beneath a tree reading, her eyes narrowed in concentration at the textbefore her. Calling up his best smile, Oikawa saunters towards her, onlyspeaking once he’s right in front of her seated position. “You know, you’re toopretty to be frowning, you look much better dancing.”

His voice startles her and he can’t stand how cute she lookshuddled in an oversized sweater, leggings and boots. Is this really the samegirl he saw last night? It’s the perfect fall look, her hair blowing in thesudden breeze that’s kicked up. A subtle shiver overtakes her body and heshrugs off his jacket. “Here,” he offers draping it over her shoulders.

Warmth spreads over her body and it’s not just from theplacement of his jacket. Oikawa is looking at her with complete focus. She’doften wondered what it would be like to have his gaze turned upon her and now,looking at it, she’s both enamored and afraid. How could a high school crushlast this long? Or did it just flare upquickly at the sight of him, a knee jerk reaction to Oikawa’s presence? Sherealizes she should be speaking, should be saying thank you not only for thejacket but the compliment paid her earlier but the words won’t come.

He really doesn’t remember her.

Oikawa tilts his head, a little confused as to why she stillhasn’t said anything when she suddenly shoots to a standing position. Swiftlyshe removes the jacket, handing it back to him. “Thank you, Oikawa-san, but Iwas just leaving. Have a good evening,” she says a bit rushed, hurrying away.

“Oi, dancer-chan!” he calls, easily catching up to andstanding in front of her. “I’m at a disadvantage here, you know my name but Idon’t know yours?”

Her eyes are on the ground, unwilling to meet his and he wonderswhat he did to offend her. When she finally looks up, he flinches; her eyes areso hard. “If my name didn’t matter to you then, why does it matter to you now?”

“Eh?”

“Never mind, I…I have to go.” She brushes past him, willingher legs to go faster. Why did she think it was a good idea to bait him at theparty? Because she didn’t really think he’d do anything, that’s why. She justwanted to frustrate him a little, but the fact that he stared at her the entiretime and now approached her yet again is doing uncomfortable things to herheart. It was stupid, she’s not this person! She isn’t someone who toys withother people! And why oh why does she even wantOikawa? He’d be nothing but trouble, even more so now that it appears hejoined a gang or something.

“You barely know her, in fact, you don’t know her at all so why are you making such a big deal out ofthis?” Iwaizumi yawns through his question, eyes closing as he lays on his bed,phone to his ear. Even when separated by hundreds of miles, Oikawa somehowfinds ways to annoy him. Like calling at one in the morning to lament about howa girl he has a crush on won’t even look at him, much less talk to him. “Lookslike you don’t always get what youwant, Trashy-kawa,” he adds with a snort.

“Shut up, Iwa-chan! You’re supposed to support me, not kickme while I’m down!”

“Stop whining, you’re giving me a headache,” grumbles hisformer ace.

Silence fills the line before Oikawa takes a deep breath.“I…I don’t know why completely. And,” he adds quickly before Iwaizumi can shootanother barb, “despite what you think it isn’tbecause she’s playing hard to get. More like impossible to get but whatever,”he mumbles making his best friend chuckle. “The point is,” he goes on with asigh, “I…I really want to get to know her but she won’t even give me a chance!”

“Oikawa, are you just pestering her? I mean, I know youthink you’re a bad ass now because you have ink and a piercing but you’re thesame alien obsessed, volleyball idiot you were in high school, the dressing’sjust different.”

“You know, sometimes I really wonder why I call you my bestfriend,” Oikawa grumbles.

“I wonder that too, but the point still stands. Why the helldid you do that shit in the first place anyway?”

Oikawa grits his teeth. How had the conversation shiftedfrom him getting advice (so embarrassing)on how to get a girl to go on at least one date with him, to Iwa-chancriticizing his choices? “Would you please stop acting like my freaking motherand just help me out here?” he grunts.

“Fine, what haveyou done?”

“I left her a couple notes, one at her job at the on-campusbookstore and one at her dorm when I found out where she lives. You know, just,“hey I’d like to get to know you, text me and we’ll make plans”. But she neverresponds. I offer to walk to her to class but she says no. I even tried to joina study group with her but she dropped out the next day. I just…I don’t know whyshe hates me!”

Iwaizumi sits up, rubbing his eyes; there’s no way he’s gettingto sleep anytime soon. “Tooru,” he says and he can hear his friend sit up straighter,“Have you considered the possibility that your advances, instead of beingwelcomed, are putting her on edge? You said she’s changed since you first sawher, what do you mean by that?”

“Um, well, the first time, like I told you, was at a party.She was dancing and, just, wow Iwa-chan, she was so hot! Like, my jeans were tight enough as it is but then she startedmoving those hips and-“

“TMI! Focus on the question, Shittykawa!”

“Sorry, sorry! Ok, so the second time and really every timesince then, she’s been very reserved. Like, she wears these adorably oversizedsweaters that flood past her knees with leggings and ankle boots and her hairis always a little messy cause it’s so damn windy around here this time ofyear. Oh! And she has this cute little pout when she’s really concentrating onsomething and taps her pencil when she’s thinking and-“

“You realize you sound more or less like a stalker, right?”Iwaizumi cuts in but his tone is gentler. He’s very aware now of just how muchthis girl has managed to get under Oikawa’s skin. Part of him hopes somethingdoes work out between the two of them simply so he could meet her one day andshake her hand. A girl who got the indominable Oikawa Tooru to sound like a love-sickpuppy? This was one for the books. 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whines, “was there a point to thatquestion?”

“Oh right. Well, maybe the reason she isn’t responding isself-preservation.”

“What?! It’s not like I’m gonna hurt her or anything-“

“Oi! You and girls don’t have a good track record Oikawa!You can whine about it all you want, but it’s still the truth! If she knows youfrom high school, which it’s clear she does, your reputation is already set!And it sounds like you should know her if she was that upset you didn’trecognize her. Which is also not surprising since you always had your headstuck on volleyball!” Iwaizumi takes in a breath, knowing his words are going to hurt his friend but he needs to hear them and it always seems to fall on his shoulders to tell him hard truths. “And look at you! You’re projecting this “bad boy” imagethat is totally not who you are! But if she thinks it is, how could she not beleery? She probably thinks you’re just toying with her! Or maybe someone placed a bet! Unfair as it is, Tooru, people do cast judgement based on appearances and pastbehavior and both of yours are not doing you any favors.”

Oikawa inhales deeply, pain radiating through his chest. “Is…isthat what you really think of me, Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi groans, flopping onto his back. “No, because I know your crazy ass too well. I’mtelling you all this from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know you. Just, shit,” he rolls to his side, unsure exactlyhow to even help his friend, “if she doesn’t want to talk to you, maybe stop pushingthe issue? Give her some space to breathe.”

“I have! I don’t try this shit every day you know!”

“Then stop trying all together! Clearly it isn’t working sowhy continue to torture yourself like this? And for what? A girl you don’t evenknow?” Iwaizumi is at the end of his rope, tired of the circular formation ofthis conversation.

Oikawa sits silent in the dark of his dorm, but he nods. “You’reright, Iwa-chan. I…I just need to stop,” he finally agrees.

“Good. Ok, now, let me get some sleep asshole.”

Oikawa can’t help chuckling but before he says goodbye,Iwaizumi adds, “And I really am sorry.”

It’s been weeks since she last heard from Oikawa, hisdisappearance just as sudden as his appearance in her life. And though sheknows it’s the product of her own making, she can’t help feeling a bitdisappointed. Every time she believed she’d have the courage to reciprocate insome fashion, she lost her nerve, resulting in cold shoulders and brusque pushoffs of his advances. Really, she’s surprised he tried as many times as he did.

“I have no idea what’s wrong with you,” her roommate hadsnapped one day after she witnessed her friend practically running away fromOikawa,” he’s ridiculously hot and so into you, it’s a little sad. Why won’tyou go out with him?”

“I…it’s just, complicated, ok?”

“You’re just chicken shit. High school is already a lifetimeaway!”

“Maybe for you but it’s still raw for me!”

Her outburst had ended the conversation never to be brought upagain.

And now here she is, the setting almost an exact copy of thefirst time they’d seen each other. A party, a sorority one this time, that she’sbeen drug to by overstressed and overtly horny friends looking for a cheap buzzand a one-night stand. And there heis, leaning against the wall, but now, instead of torn jeans and a t-shirt,Oikawa’s sporting a button down with sleeves rolled to his elbows, black slacksand shined shoes. The contrast of his “preppy” look coupled with the ink stilladorning his arm and the ring in his lip invariably makes him even moreattractive, a fact proven true by the swarm of girls around him. To his right,she sees who she now knows to be his captain from the volleyball team, dressedsimilarly but rougher around the edges, opting for dark wash denim jeans, tightwhite t-shirt and a black button-down vest.

It really should be illegal to look so good.

“Ok everyone!” the house mother calls out. “Gather round, it’stime to draw for…7 minutes in heaven!”

A resounding cheer from the girls goes up while the malesall smirk and chuckle, elbowing one another in gleeful anticipation.

Swallowing the remaining contents of her Solo cup, she triesto head to the exit but her friend grabs her wrist. “Nope, you’re gonna getsomething tonight, even if it’s just kissing.” Protests fall on deaf ears, herhand shoved in the fish bowl drawing out a number.

“Alright, ladies and gents,” the house mother calls againonce the bowl is empty, “first up, number 12!”

Terushima pushes off from the wall, his movement pulling outsmall appreciative gasps from the surrounding crowd of females and one of them,a red head with cat-eye glasses, sashays up to him. He grins, taking her handand giving it a peck. “Shall we?” he asks gesturing to the hall closet. At hereager nod, he pulls her in, winking at the spectators before slamming the door.

A faint moan is heard from inside followed by a ripple ofteasing taunts and catcalls being thrown at the door. Seven minutes pass andthe door is opened to reveal a thoroughly disheveled girl stumbling out whileTerushima looks smug. “Oh my god, that tongue ring,” she murmurs to her friendswho giggle.

“Next up, number 9!”

When Oikawa steps away from the wall, a collective squealerupts only to be dulled to disappointed murmurs when each girl realizes they aren’this partner. Looking around, Oikawa searches for the girl he’ll have to put upwith for…no way. And there, blushing so brightly she looks sunburned, is thegirl who’s plagued his mind, both conscious and unconscious.

Smirking, he grabs her hand. “Can’t run away now,dancer-chan,” he whispers pulling her in and shutting the door.

Her breathing is rapid, breath fanning his chest and neckand he can feel her shaking under his fingers. He’s not sure if it’s the dark,the booze or both but Oikawa lets down his mask. “You don’t have to you know?Or…I mean, you could just pretend I’m someone else, if that helps.”

Her eyes shoot to his face. His voice is so dejected she can’tstop herself from whispering, “I…I don’t want it to be anyone else.”

That gets hisattention in a hurry. Grasping her shoulders, he murmurs, “What do you mean?”

“I…I want it to be you, Oikawa-san.”

“Time’s running out, are you still alive?” a muffled voicecalls but Oikawa ignores it. Ignores everything except the girl in front ofhim.

“Explain to me one thing then, dancer-chan,” he says,fingers toying with her hair, “if that’s true…why have you been avoiding methis whole time?”

He can feel her trembling, the cords in her neckconstricting as she swallows nerves and steels herself. “I was…am…afraid ofletting myself really believe you wanted me. I mean, in high school-“

“Yeah,” he interjects, leaning his forearm above her head,face inches from hers. She can feel his breath upon her face, minty of coursebecause Oikawa Tooru is always prepared, “what was that whole deal the secondtime I saw you?”

Her eyes close despite the darkness still hiding her face. “Itried to…to confess to you in high school. It was your third year, just beforethe tournament.” She feels him flinch, memories of that loss still obviouslyraw. She presses on quickly, “I brought you a bento box and some cookies andleft them in your locker with a note. But…you never responded, not even to tellme no. I waited for you by the school gates like a fool and you never came.”

Oikawa stares hard at her face, his eyes having finallyadjusted to the dark. He has no recollection of her at all other than a visagein a sea of faces continually vying for his attention. After a while it’sdifficult to determine one from another. But he remembers those presents.

“There was no note, dancer-chan. And even with as busy as Iwas, I would not have just left you there. I may have a reputation for being anasshole but I wouldn’t have done something so cruel,” he says lowly in her ear.

“Wha…what? I was sure…I know I put the note with it!”

He shrugs. “That may be true. Maybe it fell somewhere in mylocker or out of it when I picked up the gift. I remember it, clearly. I rememberlooking around for someone watching me receive it but there was no one so Ijust took it to be from a secret admirer or one of my fans and moved on.” Hetouches her cheek gently, “Will you let me thank you for it now?”

Unable to find her voice, she nods. It’s all the opening Oikawaneeds, swooping down to seal his lips over hers, the taste of cherry coke and badvodka lingering. He licks into her mouth, her own flavor much, much sweeter makinghim moan rather loudly. Her fingers clutch his shirt, knees going weak underthe ministrations of his tongue and the feel of his lip ring grazing hersensitive flesh prompting Oikawa to draw his arm around her, pulling her to hischest.

“Tell me your name,” he rasps.

“________,” she whimpers, lost in the feel of his touchagainst the soft skin on her back.

Before time’s up, he hoists her around his waist, throwingopen the door to the shock and awe of those waiting for their turn. Lockingeyes with Terushima, Oikawa asks, “Guest room?”

His captain grins widely. “Up the stairs, turn right, thirddoor on the left.”

Ignoring everyone and everything around him, Oikawa surgesup the stairs.

“What are you doing?” she gasps.

His eyes shift to hers, gleaming with a predatory glow. “WhatI plan on doing to you will take much, muchlonger than seven minutes.”

I know Terushima is ayear behind Oikawa but since this is AU anyway we’ll just pretend they were inthe same grade since I find the idea of Terushima as Oikawa’s captainhilarious.

[electricbluebutterflies]

This might seem really weird for a fic but its a topic really sensitive to me and the show never discusses these type of things (bc clearly they have more obvious problems) what if Abby had an abusive hone life as a child and sruggled with an eating disorder, now that shes in the lab it is coming back in ways of not taking care of herself to help others until she collapses and Marcus comes to take care of her (nobody knows about her past not even jake) omg pls do this pls don't think I'm weird

Okay, for personal safety reasons, am just doing the “Abby has recurrent eating disorder and Marcus kinda accidentally finds out” part of this prompt. Also bonus content warning for vague suicidal ideation. Canon-divergent as per usual, PG13-ish.

When she was smaller - when she was barely in her teens, the first time it flared - Abby could justify it beautifully. She was simply conserving resources for those who needed them more than she did, and in the process gaining a little bit of desperately-needed personal agency. The fact that she was little more than skin and bone was incidental, really, and given her petite frame it wasn’t like anyone ever noticed. And eventually, she grew older and grew out of those habits.

At least, she thought she had. But like all her reckless hopes, that too comes crashing down around her.

Since the lab - since things she doesn’t want to deal with, can’t deal with, won’t deal with - Abby’s slowly slipped into all of her other bad habits in perfect succession. Her feelings and wants are the first thing she denies herself; next, the comfort of physical closeness to those she loves (and oh how she justifies that); next, the luxury of sleeping any more than she absolutely must. By the time she practically stops eating, she’s already a shell of a woman, and the great tragedy is that no one notices. No one gives a damn. Or if they do, they don’t say anything.

(She’s sure Marcus sees right through her, but she’s not about to ask him outright. That’s perhaps the greatest denial of all, the love so freely offered that Abby keeps at arm’s length out of fear and some other feeling she can’t put into words. She’s got no patience for that, not now, and won’t for a long time and-)

Control, she tells herself. She is doing this because she is lost and she wants control, and it’s one of the few things she can sink her claws into. When she digs herself out of her current hole of self-loathing, she’ll go on with her life. Until then…

Until then, not like anyone’s gonna notice.

She tells herself that, over and over again, for six weeks. Six weeks and then she is proved wrong.

Six weeks and then she collapses, falls to the ground and blacks out, because it’s too much and she’s gone too far. She’s done what she swore she wouldn’t, and her last thought as her eyes close and she feels her body hit cold metal floor is that she is so completely fucked.

And then she wakes. That’s a surprise.

For a few brief seconds the last time Abby was fully conscious, she hoped this would kill her. She hasn’t actively sought death - she’s not that brave, no - but nor has she tried to prevent it. The brief heartbeat thought of crashing hard enough to make her brain short-circuit was as satisfying as anything could be in those moments and she hoped… she hoped-

Daylight. Actual fucking daylight, and yet she’s on something very soft, and she knows exactly where she is within three seconds of her eyes opening because far as she knows, only one person has managed to modify their living space to include a fucking skylight and-

Yeah. Completely fucked.

It’s another couple heartbeats before confirmation, before callused hands cup her head and a familiar face places a reverent kiss on her forehead. He’s crying, something she’s never seen him do sober, and worse, it appears to be happy crying. Well that’s a few separate things Abby’s not even close to lucid enough to deal with, and everything in her is very tempted to give Marcus Gabriel Kane a long-gestating lecture about personal space and his questionable concept of it every time he dares to show an emotion to another living being, and-

“What the hell were you thinking?” he breathes, still hovering over her.

“I got lightheaded,” Abby shrugs. She can lie her way out of this, she figures. There are innocent explanations for what happened to her, and give her a few goddamn seconds and she knows she can think of them and construct them into something plausible that doesn’t reveal her descent and-

“Don’t.” The sadness is gone, replaced with something she isn’t awake enough to label. “You’ve been out for two days, Abby, and when they checked you for bruises… whatever you’re going to tell me happened…”

“I’m fine.”

“You. are. not. fine.”

Fuck him and his stupid worried voice and the fact that his hands are still on her face and his mouth is just inches from hers. Fuck all of that. For a brief moment, Abby’s tempted to lean up and kiss him and offer what’s left of her until all is forgotten, but she knows better and-

“You’re skin and bones, you’re not sleeping, you’re isolating yourself, you-”

“I wanted control.” Fine. “I took it where I could. Happy?”

“You are not allowed to do shit like that. You are not allowed to almost die on me. You’re the glue that holds this hellhole together and-”

“I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”

“No.” Marcus shakes his head. “What I want is for you to rest, here, until you catch up on most of the sleep you haven’t let yourself have. I called in a few favors with Indra and if there is anything left on this planet remotely resembling chocolate, her people are going to find it and bring it here. You’re vital to both worlds, Abby, and you can’t do stupid shit to yourself. Are we clear?”

“I assume you’re going to stick around and guard me? Like last time?”

He sighs. “Yeah. Like last time. Except this time I won’t be so surprised when you tackle me in the middle of the night and-”

“I did not tackle you!”

“Yes you did. You’re a cuddly octopus when you sleep. Why do you think I’m not in that bed with you?”

“Because you were off trying to track down the last chocolate on earth and get it for me?” Abby suggests playfully.

“Fine, that too, but-”

“I’m awake now,” she murmurs, patting the empty side of the bed next to her. “Get over here. I’m not that hard to push off.”

Marcus complies, kicking off his boots and shedding his jacket before slipping under the blankets beside her. “At least you’re a cute octopus,” he mutters.

Abby laughs. “Thank you.”

“Least I can do, love.”

She shifts closer and rests her head on his shoulder and oh, this feels like a turning point. She is not alone, and she will fight, and-

“Only good thing about this is I’m not going to have to chase you all over the known world for a little while,” he breathes, lips brushing the top of her head.

“You have no faith in me…”