#I'm incredibly proud of the work I've put into this
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On one hand, I'm relieved to see that it isn't just me suffering in the engagement department whereas I used to get flooded with comments and the like every time I dropped something. It isn't the only reason why I've moved from fanfic work to original work, but it is part of it. The last round of engagement on the latest MM chapter was abysmal, and while I know it's not a reflection of my quality in writing, I kept beating myself up over the possibility that I took too long to update it and people gave up on it/forgot/fell out of love with my work because I as a creator was not performing good enough. It drove me into a bit of a depression for a while.
On the other hand, this is making me rethink my stance on never telling my favorite authors how much they have inspired me to take off with my writing career. This is going to get a little lengthy but I want to talk about it so bear with me here.
Closed circles know how much of an insane, unhinged fan I am of certain writers, yet I have never actually said a word to them. I think I left one comment on maybe two fics that went unanswered (which is fine. They're not active in the fandoms I'm in anymore and I'm just some guy out of probably hundreds all saying the same thing. They're not gonna reply to me) but apart from that, you wouldn't catch me dead actually admitting how much the works mean to me. But why?
I guess I was far too proud and too terrified of being let down if I exposed myself like that. Despite the fact that these authors were literal catalysts for borderline impossible feats I have done within the last year, WELL RECEIVED FEATS at that, I swore I'd never tell anyone how inspiring they were for me. (Unless a casual friendship has been established. I have had the tremendous honor to able to talk to some of my inspirations one on one but under incredibly lucky circumstances)
I had a scenario in my head that these were the cool kids, and if you ever got picked on at all for admiring anything, you know damn well you never tell the cool kids about your admiration. I was afraid that they'd take one look at the work that was inspired by theirs and laugh at it in their enclosed circles. I wasn't going to risk having my confidence crushed and lose the motivation to continue working on my projects by being a fan.
I know not all authors do this. Every time someone comes to me and tells me I've inspired them to be a better writer, I literally frame it in a collection of screenshots I have saved on a hard drive. Every. Single. Time. And I know anyone else would tell me that if the person I admire would actually be cruel enough to mock an up and coming writer, then they're not worth admiring. Which I agree with! But try telling that to sensitive little Kaeli that safeguards their interests with the fiery defensiveness of a feral bear on cocaine.
But then I see posts like this, and I put myself in their shoes. I don't know them. They could be a jackass but they could also be like me - someone who bases a lot of motivation for project completion based off of whether or not people even care to see it completed.
This is all a very long, round about away to say that who cares if the author you build a mini-shrine for in your brain thinks your cringe for liking their work? Odds are they probably need to hear that you liked it so much, it inspired you to do something with that feeling. We all need to hear it. They inspired you and now you're making something that will inspire someone else. To be a creator is to share that passion everywhere you go. There's nothing cringe about it.
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#this means I have to actually not be a hypocrite and voice my inspirations openly#DO IT SCARED#and have to remind myself my work isn't cringe people like it for a reason#WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER#LETS SHARE THE LOVE FOLKS LETS BE BETTER
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Chapter 10 !
It's finally here!!! It's just under 14k words so I hope it was worth the wait!
CW for this chapter: body checking; lots of talk about sex and intimacy; explicit smut
I was determined to post this on the 30th and I just barely made the deadline by literally two minutes. So this is NOT actually proofread. (Though I do proofread and edit as I go) so please do let me know if you see any glaring mistakes.
Thank you again--so very much--for waiting! I can't wait to hear what y'all think <3
#fengqing#feng xin#mu qing#ao3 fanfic#fic: distance#I'm exhuasted#I also got my very first Mean Comment#of someone being like “I'm so frustrated that you keep delaying updates!”#and oh boy when I tell you I almost deleted the whole fic right then and there#but !#I'm incredibly proud of the work I've put into this#and I know everyone else has been incredibly kind#so one little weirdo isn't gonna ruin this for me
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BRUTAL OUT HERE | op81
SOCIAL MEDIA!AU oscar piastri x fem!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)
side note: the way i used to dislike oscar and now i'm so immensely proud of what he's achieved is crazy. what a character arc of me.
♡ liked by conangray, oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 238,495 others
yourusername i am beyond the moon happy and proud to announce that my debut album is out now in store and on all music platforms! having worked on this for so long, it feels like seeing my little child grow up 🫶🏻 my team and i invested a lot of time and effort into this and i'm insanely excited for you to experience it. let me hear your thoughts and opinion on this! 💜
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user1 JUST LISTENED TO IT AND I AM NOT OKAY
user2 the way this captures the spirit of being a teenage girl so well ⤷ user3 she literally took my feelings and put it into words it's incredible
conangray i'm so proud of my babygirl comment liked by yourusername ⤷ yourusername ah stop! you helped me so much in the process, huge huge thank you for supporting me 🫶🏻😭 ⤷ user4 i love y/n's and conan's friendship so so much!
oscarpiastri 💜🖤 ⤷ user5 OSCAR?
♡ liked by conangray, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 201,394 others
tagged: conangray
yourusername the last few weeks have been absolutely crazy! i've recieved so much love and positive feedback for 'SOUR' ... i can't even describe how loved and appreciated i feel. i love you guys so much!
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user6 you deserve this so much!! your music makes me feel so many emotions, it's incredible
user7 can't believe how far you've come! been listening to your solos for so long and now you have a whole album aaahh ⤷ user8 remember when she used to upload covers on youtube?
oscarpiastri insanely proud! comment liked by yourusername
user9 oscar is being a bit suspicious these days i don't trust him ⤷ user10 lando is also liking sooo something is brewing in the paddock for sure
♡ liked by conangray, madisonbeer, oscarpiastri and 302,183 others
yourusername my first performance here in melbourne (my hometown) felt so fucking special i'm in tears from how amazing you guys were! my official tour dates are coming soon!
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user11 is it true that you and oscar are childhood friends ⤷ user12 what if they're dating ⤷ user13 what if sour is actually about him?
conangray ahhh i'm so proud of my bestie! comment liked by yourusername ⤷ yourusername couldn't have done it without your pep talk
user14 someone said sour is about oscar and y/n's former relationship? ⤷ user15 is this confirmed?
oscarpiastri what an amazing show 💜 comment liked by yourusername
♡ liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 328,283 others
tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris
yourusername cat's out of the bag thanks to this dingus
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user16 no because it's kinda sweet they revealed their relationship during oscar's homerace (even if it was accidental) ⤷ user17 and her having had her first concert a week ago in melbourne as well (which he attended) like since when is melbourne so romantic like that
oscarpiastri i already told you i'm really really sorry ⤷ yourusername save your apology and gimme a kiss
landonorris great so now i see your annoying asses in real life AND on social media ⤷ yourusername haters gonna hate
user18 but... i wanna know who the album is about then ⤷ user19 real like babes let us knoooowwww
user20 i love childhood friends to lovers aaahh comment liked by yourusername
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#f1 imagine#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fluff#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 instagram au#f1 social media au
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it’s a tradition ✹ jude bellingham
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
PAIR: JUDE BELLINGHAM X FEMALE!READER
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST
A/N: literally decided to post an early birthday fic for jude! 😁
→ INSTAGRAM
2021
judebellingham
Liked by erling.haaland, yourusername, jobebellingham, and 140,002 others
judebellingham I want to say how fortunate I am to know someone like yourusername. I reflect on the memories and experiences we've had, writing about how you've made me laugh and smile. I talk about how you make me feel more alive and how much I value having you in my life. I'll close with a heartfelt wish for you to have a fantastic birthday, bud.
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yourusername Thank you I guess 😓 (Why did you chose this picture out of all the pictures you've took?)
↳ judebellingham yourusername Hey, this one gotta do (This is the most fun you look)
erling.haaland Hey, where's my silly birthday post?
↳ judebellingham erling.haaland See you next year, mate.
user1 Now if you don't bag her Bellingham...
footiefan7 Enough with the girl, give us more football posts
↳ judebe footiefan7 Tell me you’re single without telling us that you’re single
user2 She's so gorgeous
user3 Oh to have a dedicated post on Jude's page
judebellinghamlive I've seen two pretty best friends now
yourusername
Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, trentarnold66, and 5,920 others
yourusername Happy birthday to one of my bestest friends in the world! judebellingham You constantly brighten my day with your humor and charm. I also want to congratulate you once again for getting into the Dortmund team, you’re already achieving so much at your young age. I am so proud of you, bestie. Here's to another year of laughter and good times! 🍰
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judebellingham Who's this cheeky lad you're hanging out with?
↳ yourusername judebellingham I think his name is Joe Birmingham??? Correct me if I'm wrong
yourbestfriend Okay WAG 🥰🥰🥰
↳ yourusername yourbestfriend Nah, is there a FAB option? (Friends And Buddies) 🤗
↳ user1 yourusername You can be like the honorary WAG
2022
judebellingham
Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, gioareyna, and 402,920 others
judebellingham Happy birthday to the friend who's put up with my bullshit for so many years. I honestly don't know how you do it, but I'm grateful for your questionable (good) taste in friends. You literally deserve a medal for being this loyal after this long. My true ride or die buddy.
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yourusername Ooh, and she got a glow up since her last birthday post! 😍
↳ judebellingham yourusername This is a sign that I'm getting better at taking pictures, right?
gioareyna Do I deserve a loyalty medal too?
↳ judebellingham gioareyna No.
↳ yourusername judebellingham Tell him🤭
user1 She’s so pretty
bellinghammer Happy birthday to the funniest and sweetest girl ever!
user2 I always get excited for these birthday posts
ilobjude I hope Jude realizes how much we fans love Y/n
user3 I refuse to believe that they aren’t together
yourusername
Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, gioareyna, and 8,829 others
yourusername Happy birthday, Jude! Today is your big day, and you have an extra reason to celebrate: you have officially made the England team for the World Cup in Qatar! What an incredible achievement! I am quite impressed with all of your hard work and dedication to your football career. You've worked really hard to reach this stage, and the praise could not have come at a better moment. I am convinced that you will represent England honorably and make all of your fans proud. Congratulations bubs!
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judebellingham You finally got something nice to say about me
↳ yourusername judebellingham *And the only time I’ll say something nice to you, sir.
yourbestfriend If I were to be on the England team, would you write me a long ass paragraph too? 😍
↳ yourusername yourbestfriend I’ll write you a novel instead 🥰
↳ judebellingham yourusername I expect the same energy next year 🙄
2023
judebellingham
Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, camavinga, and 1,503,292 others
judebellingham As another year passes, I can't help but think about all the moments we've made together yourusername. Listening to your late-night chats to creating any last minute plans, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have you in my life. You laugh at all of my idiotic jokes, even when they aren't very amusing. You give me the most honest advice when I need it most, and you always know what to say to make me feel better. When I am among you, I don't have to put up a face or pretend to be someone I am not. You accept me as I am, no matter the flaws. So, for your birthday, I simply wanted you to know how much you mean to me. You're more than a friend; you're a true partner in crime. I would not want to spend my life with anyone else.
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yourusername Awwww (I wrote this)
↳ judebellingham yourusername Selfish much?
camavinga At this point get a room already 🤣
↳ user1 camavinga What are you trying to say here?
↳ user2 user1 I feel like he knows something we don’t
madridistar OH NO WHAT’S HAPPENING….🧍♀️…..🐕
jobeyjude I just want to be friends with Y/n, is that too much to ask for?
mbappeswife My favorite time of the year! (Jude’s dedicated post to Y/n)
user3 My [zodiac] queen
modricsfave Happy birthday gorgeous! 🎉🎂🥳
yourusername
Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, vinijr, and 20,020 others
yourusername Another year older, and possibly wiser. Happy birthday, Jude! You're more than just a friend to me; you're my confidant, rock, and partner in crime. Our bond is unbreakable, and our relationship is something I treasure deeply. But don't forget that you've joined Real Madrid in addition to being another year older! I can't wait to see your success on that field. You've worked exceptionally hard to get here, and you deserve all the success in the world.
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judebellingham Gracias amiga 🤍
↳ yourusername judebellingham Those Spanish lessons coming in HANDY 🤭
vinijr Happy birthday Jude! 🎉
camavinga Family ☝️
judebells_ We stan a supportive friend like Y/n 🙌
2024
judebellingham
Liked by yourusername, jobebellingham, ardaguler, and 4,901,639 others
judebellingham Today marks as Y/n's birthday, and I just want to say how everything has changed for the better since the past year. You have given me so much love, happiness, and joy in the previous year, and I will be eternally grateful for every moment we've spent together. I still can't believe you're mine and I can call you that. It feels as if a dream has come true and I can't wait to see what's next for us.
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yourusername I love you beautiful 💕
↳ judebellingham yourusername Love you more than anything 🤗
jobebellingham Saw this one coming 🫣
↳ beellinghamm jobebellingham I just want to know how long you’ve been waiting for this moment to happen
user1 It’s official…Y/n is my favorite WAG
halamadridjude You’re such a lucky man
user2 Mama y papa 😇
vinisoulmate I wish I had someone adore me the same way Jude does to Y/n
bellingfanatic I don’t know what’s his biggest win, Champion’s League or finally dating Y/n after so many years
user3 Sending you both lots of love 🫶🫶🫶
yourusername
Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, lukamodric10, and 206,385 others
yourusername I can't believe I call this cameraman, judebellingham, "mine." In all seriousness, you know I value you for so much more than just taking my pictures. Happy birthday to the man who I refer to as my partner and best friend, who tries his best to keep me sane throughout the day. Every day, I fall more deeply in love with you. You're like my other half, the missing piece that makes me feel complete. You've witnessed my most raw and vulnerable moments, and you still adore me for who I am. I consider it a privilege to have you at my side, someone who understands and accepts me for who I am, camera or not. Love you lots, bud.
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judebellingham Here's to growing gray hair together!
↳ yourusername judebellingham Okay. Now you're making me feel old.
yourbestfriend Remember the times when I called you a WAG?
↳ yourusername yourbestfriend Yes, you've won…
user1 IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME THEY STARTED DATING
#x reader#fluff#smut#angst#football x reader#football imagine#soccer imagine#jude bellingham au#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham one shot#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham blurb#judebellingham#jude bellingham#bellingham#bellingham x reader#real madrid#madrid spain#hala madrid#madrid
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#first of all ppl in the notes are yall okay did everyone just forget how to community effort vet fanzine producers lmao#also who the fuck is doing fanzines on kickstarter and for profit????? yall are crazy#i really think the only solution to this that would benefit everyone#would be to call the fan projects that go to a glossy printer and are sold at book prices 'fan books' or 'anthologies' or 'art books'#and for ppl to try to make and trade more actual diy zines in the same communities#bc like its not bad to get to work together to make these nice books esp the charity ones which is the only kind ive ever had experience w/#but i dont like how its at the expense of traditional no barrier to entry diy zines. we can have both#actually speaking of this dr who fandom pre-2010s-ish had this down#and the actual scholarship by fans and collecting sites etc all categorize the professionally bound books as Anthologies#and they were a markedly different thing from the Zines#which were more diy and passed around at cons and in pubs and in the mail#the anthologies were still indie and werent for profit either#but its sort of a different thing with a different barrier to entry bc of needing to apply and needing to pay a printer etc#incl professional on demand printers too i think#like literally in dr who fandom they used to call these charity anthologies and i just think thats more accurate and useful#i regularly participate in modern 'zines' in gomens fandom that are just this type of charity artbook#and i do it bc i like the activity and community and charity donation#but yeah like are these even actually zines??? i think calling them so is inaccurate#but i genuinely think this inaccuracy just happened by accident as the ways fans get books made and distributed changed#often its just 'we want to make a high quality book so we're printing it at cost'#but since zine is just short for magazine im also unsure why it shouldnt refer to more than one thing#esp two things with the same roots arguably#and fandoms arent going to stop using this terminology that DID originate with these diy zines#also i should make zines but i dont think anyone would buy them lol#fan culture
@ouidamforeman coming in with the excellent tag meta per usual.
the whole point of a zine is that it's cheap to produce, amateur and homemade. if you're being asked to apply to participate in a print project, it is not a zine. if the final product is being printed and bound professionally, it is not a zine. if you are being asked to enter into any kind of licensing agreement more complex than "my work can be reproduced as part of this publication" it is not a zine. nine times put of ten if the final product costs more than $5 you have left zine country. im so serious about this.
#having produced a fancy artbook zine with a high formalist premise while also being very much against for profit zines#I have a bunch of thoughts on it#I'm incredibly proud of Iconic and I don't think the premise would've worked if we hadn't put in the level of professionalism that we did#and we most certainly did not charge anyone for it beyond asking for postage reimbursement when sending them out globally#and we managed to get that fee down to about £11 which to ship a paperback book to Pakistan was pretty alright I think#but yeah I don't think the fancy artbook zines need to disappear or anything but I agree they are at this point a divergent species#I've done a few library teen crafts on how make zines#either with staples or if you wanna get creative with a simple pamphlet stitch#I want my teens to just be able to make them and do whatever they want with them#I'd love to actually host zine swaps at my library but I would have to teach basically the whole community what that even means#there isn't a big history with it here the way there is in say California
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can you write a fic where nika and reader have been doing long distance for a while and reader surprises her at a game or something. i need more nika fluff in my life
wc: 826 warnings: none, just fluffy pairings: nika muhl x fem!reader
“Don’t you have to get ready for your game soon?” Your voice echoed out of the speaker of Nika’s phone.
She sighed. “Yeah, but I wanna talk to you more. I wish I could see you, why didn’t you FaceTime me?” You smiled, hearing the pout in her voice.
“My FaceTime isn’t working, I told you. I tried to call my mom and it wouldn’t go through.” You lied straight through your teeth. Nika didn’t know that though, she always believed what you had to say, for better or for worse.
“Now go get ready for your game, it’s uh.. almost 4:30 in Seattle right?”
You heard a rustling coming from your phone and you assumed that Nika was getting out of bed. “Mhm, fine, whatever you say.” You giggled and you heard a small laugh come from her. “I love you, babe.”
“I love you too, go crush it out there.” You two said your goodbyes and once you hung up, you felt a smack on your arm. “Hit me again, I swear to God, Paige.” You glared at the blonde standing next to you.
“Sorry, can’t help it. Our plan is working!” She grinned.
You rolled your eyes and pushed her by her shoulder. “Our plan. You're only here because I invited you."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now, lets kill some time and go get your girl some flowers."
Although you wanted to be up close to see Nika's game, you had to sit further back to stay hidden. You wanted this to fully be a surprise that you were here, you didn't go through all the little white lies for nothing.
The game was nearing the end and Seattle was down by a few points. You bit your nails anxiously, scared that the outcome of the game would ruin the surprise.
Seattle's coach called a time out and you watched Nika with keen eyes. You'd always admired her passion for the game, but you'd only ever seen her play when she knew you were going to be there.
Seeing her playing this good, for a professional team, when she didn't even knew you were there? It made your heart swell. Whether she would admit it or not, she would do everything to impress you on the court.
But with her not knowing you were there, she played for herself and her team, and it was a whole other side of her playing that you hadn't seen in a while. You were incredibly proud of her and how far she's gotten.
The game resumed and stakes were high. Seattle had managed to catch up, but a last second buzzer beater from the opposing team had dimmed their hope in winning.
Nika's shoulders immediately slumped and you found yourself frowning. Paige put a hand on your shoulder. "C'mon, let's go down and cheer her up."
You agreed and walked down to the staircase that led to the courtside seats. You hid yourself from Nika's gaze and let Paige approach her first.
The second Nika saw the blonde she smiled. She rushed over to her and hugged her. "The hell are you doing here?"
Paige hugged her back and laughed. "Wanted to surprise you." You smiled at the look on Nika's face. "I've got another surprise for ya."
Nika looked at her confused for a second before she saw you emerging from behind her. She froze in place for a quick beat before running over to you and almost tackling you.
You squealed at the contact and wrapped your arms around her. The feeling of her breath hit your neck, and everything felt like how it did before she left. You missed moments like these, you craved them, and Nika did too.
She pulled back and held your face in her hands. "You're here?! You're here!" She kissed you briefly before pulling you back into a hug.
You giggled and let her soak in the moment with you. "I'm here." You mumbled into her ear. The feeling of her lips pressing small kisses on your neck made your knees weak. "Baby, stop." You laughed out.
She pulled back and your eyes met her glossy ones. "I just.. I can't believe you're here. When did you?-"
"Me and Paige flew out this morning. That's why I was up so early and why I couldn't facetime." You held out the bouquet of flowers you had for her. "And these are for you."
She took them and wrapped her arm around your waist. She pulled you into her side and kissed your temple. "So you lied to me? Hm?" She teased playfully.
"Guess so, but it was worth it, wasn't it?" You leaned your head against her shoulder and angled it to look up at her.
She looked down at you with pure admiration. "It was, this makes up for the loss. I love you."
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Be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)
Neighbor!Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: you and Joel have been neighbors for a while but despite your mutual interest in one another, you never crossed this line. until, after one tense situation, Joel slips up (based on this wonderful request!)
Tags: friends to lovers, love confessions, fluff and angst, Joel is your sexy neighbor you shamelessly drool over, also his toolbelt is an important character in the fic (don't judge me)
Warnings: angst, 'nice guy' alert 🙄, attempted assault (stopped by Joel), some nsfw content but not actual smut (yar girl is gettin there 😌)
Word count: 6.2K
A/N: hiiii my darlings!! sorry for the wait, i know it's been a long time but life was crazy. here's sth i've been workin for a looong time and honestly i stared at it for so long i no longer know if i'm proud of it or not 🙈 anyway, i really hope you guys will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕
“I really don’t know how to thank you, Joel. This is incredible.”
Joel watched, slightly embarrassed, as you walked around the table with a wide, bright smile. You gripped one of the legs – the one that was previously crookedly attached and broke down when you put something heavier on the counter – and tested its stability. After a successful inspection you looked up at him.
“You’re a lifesaver.”
“Nah, nothin’ of the sort.” He waved his hand, feeling a big lump in his throat when you directed that pretty smile of yours at him. “M’just glad I could help.”
“You didn’t have to fix this, too, though.” You brushed the edge of the table which Joel sanded so you wouldn’t get a splinter from the rough surface. His eyes followed your fingertips before he coughed.
“Didn’t want you to hurt yourself. This side was practically smashed up, after all…”
“Still, I didn’t even need to ask you.” You shook your head in thoughts before glancing at him with gratitude. “Thanks again.”
“You really gotta stop thankin’ me.” Joel started to gather his things into the toolbox and wiped his palms on his pants (certainly not because they were slick with sweat). “It was a piece of cake.”
“But, you know.” You tilted your head to the left and right, scrunching your nose playfully, and it was so fucking adorable that Joel thought his heart was going to give out. “You already fixed the sink in my kitchen, that hole in the wall, my door, and now my table… Are you sure I’m not leeching off your generosity?”
A half-smile found its place on Joel’s face, and he shook his head with a chuckle. “M’sure. It’s only fair since we’re neighbors, sweet girl.”
Sweet girl.
Joel never knew if he wasn’t crossing the line by calling you that. You never gave any sign of discomfort or disgust when he did, but he also recognized that regardless of your reaction, he should stop. He couldn’t deny that his old heart harbored an embarrassingly big crush on you – after all, you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on – but it wasn’t right to think about you in that way.
If he only knew that every time he let those words of endearment slip, your heart started to do crazy somersaults.
Joel Miller was an extremely handsome man, there was no denying that. And with his deep drawl, the salt-and-pepper hair, the warm, brown eyes and that dangerous smirk he sometimes sent in your direction… it was no wonder you fell for him.
It also didn’t help that he was so kind, always ready and eager to help you with the smallest inconvenience. Sometimes it made you want to smash something in your house yourself, just to have an excuse for him to come over again and for you to be able to watch him work.
But you weren’t that desperate, yet. Yet.
Your daydreaming was rudely interrupted by a series of knocks on your front door. Both your heads snapped in the direction of the sound, but when you recognized the familiar pattern of it, your mood dampened in an instant.
Joel noticed the change in your expression, of course, and immediately stood up, leaving the toolbox on the floor.
“What is it?” he asked with a hint of alert in his gruff voice, but you shook your head.
“It’s nothing. Don’t go yet, okay? I’ll be right back.”
You exited the room before he could ask another question, and Joel furrowed his brows. He stayed rooted in spot, listening to your heavy step as you walked to the door and opened it. And then… he heard a male voice that started to say something to you.
Joel couldn’t help but grind his teeth as he finished gathering his stuff, ready to go back home. It was the second time that some man came to visit you while you had him over, and the bitterness he felt in his mouth was even more noticeable than on the previous occasion.
He knew you were quite popular in Jackson, especially with boys your age. There was always someone offering to buy you a drink or dance whenever you went out with your friends, and once Joel had to even step in when two drunk guys kept pestering you. But as much as it pained him, some of those men who showed genuine interest in you were quite nice. And good-looking.
And a lot younger than him.
He knew very well that he was too old for you. He knew that he shouldn’t fantasize about sharing a life with you, and that thinking of any form of intimacy between you and him was making him a big old creep, but no matter how many times he swore to himself it’ll be the last, he could not stop. You were just so beautiful, so sweet and so nice…
He saw your smiling face when he went to bed late at night, and imagined your body beside him when he woke up early in the morning. He looked at your house on his way to work and wondered if you were eating breakfast already, taking a shower or still sleeping peacefully amidst the many blankets he saw once on your bed. He felt a rush of energy and endorphins every time you knocked on his door, asking him to help you with something, and it only enhanced his already existent protectiveness toward you.
Suddenly, Joel heard a raised male voice from the porch, which instantly got his guard up. He quickly followed the sound, and upon rounding the corner he saw you trying to close the door on Jack, a boy he recognized but never talked to. He saw him a couple of times at the bar, though he wasn’t one of those bothering you and never seemed to give anyone any trouble.
Still, you looked really uncomfortable, so when your and Joel’s eyes met, he nodded reassuringly and took his place in front of you.
“Is somethin’ the matter?��� he asked dryly. The sight of him took Jack aback and he opened his mouth, looking lost for a good moment. Joel raised his eyebrows, and the young man cleared his throat.
“Nothing at all. We were just chattin’.” Then Jack looked over Joel’s shoulder at you, completely ignoring the other man. “What the fuck is Miller doing in your house, anyway?”
You stammered, but Joel kept his cool, leaning against the doorframe casually. Jack was tall and well-built, but still smaller than Joel, and he made use of this fact to intimidate the boy to the extreme.
“Mr Miller is helpin’ her with the sink that needs fixin’,” Joel answered instead with a pang of irritation. “And you’re kinda interruptin’.” Jack didn’t move, and Joel clenched his jaw. “Scurry. Now.”
The boy huffed, murmuring something under his breath before he bid you a grudging adieu. Joel shut the door behind him with more force than he intended and took a second to calm his breathing before turning back to you.
“Sorry if that was too harsh–”
“No, don’t apologize.” You sighed tiredly and went to the living room, plopping down on the couch. “It’s okay. Maybe he’ll back off a little.”
Joel bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should ask the question that was gnawing at him mercilessly.
“Are…” he started, and you lifted your head. “I mean, are you two…”
“No!” you quickly answered, blushing a little to Joel’s surprise. “No, no, nothing of the sort. He asked me out and I told him I’m not interested, but he still tries to…” You waved your arm in the direction when he saw the youngster last. “I don’t know, convince me?”
Joel sat down next to you, clasping his hands together. “Well… if he ever gives you any trouble, you lemme know, alrigh’?”
A small smile spread across your face when you tilted your head to look at him.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Then a playful glint appeared in your eyes, and your smile turned mischievous. “...Mr Miller.”
A breathless laugh escaped Joel, and he dragged his hand over his face, praying that he managed to stifle a groan wanting to escape his chest. He shook his head to regain some clarity, but could still feel all the blood in his body rushing down. It didn’t help that your couch was too small, and your knees were touching – though Joel couldn’t tell if it happened when he sat down or a little bit later.
Fuck.
“Shut up,” he just murmured, not looking at you in fear you’ll see what your words did to him. “I tried to make him leave quicker.”
“And he did. And I think you deserve a reward for your help.”
You stood up and for a second Joel panicked. A reward, you said.
He couldn’t help the images that flooded his brain in that moment – of you on your knees in front of him, or bent over the table he just fixed. His eyes went to your thighs, and his own flexed involuntary when he envisioned how you’d feel underneath him, what sweet sounds he could coax out of you, how soft your skin would be in those places you kept covered…
But then you walked past him, and he snapped out of the naughty daydreams.
“Wh-where are you goin’?” he asked, his voice strained, and you looked over your shoulder with an oblivious smile.
“I made a cake this morning. I’m gonna bring you a piece, yeah?”
You didn’t wait for an answer, and just left the room with pep in your step.
Joel groaned and let his head fall back, covering the redness of his cheeks with his hands.
Idiot.
Almost two weeks have passed since the last time you asked for his help with something, and surprisingly, Joel was okay with that. After that embarrassment he experienced in his own mind, he told himself that it would be prudent to distance himself from you for a little bit. At least until he could act normally around you.
He still thought about you constantly, that he couldn’t help. Every time he saw you in town he instantly felt lighter, but so very often you were accompanied by another man – and no matter if you seemed comfortable with the attention or not, Joel always had this urge to come over and protect you from any unwanted suitors.
He was being ridiculous, he knew that. You didn’t like him the way he liked you, and even if he somehow grew a pair and told you about his feelings, a pretty and young girl like you would never be interested in someone who could be her father’s age.
The thought of you thinking of him as a father figure churned up his guts, making him feel sick. Jesus Christ.
But it still did nothing to weaken his infatuation, and when you finally knocked on his door again, asking if he could fix the rack in your room, he didn’t even hesitate before agreeing.
So here you both were. Joel, looking at the problem at hand, and you, looking at (none-the-wiser) Joel.
“S’nothin’ big,” he finally said after some examination. “I’ll replace the shelf and reaffix it to the wall better. Shouldn’t take long.”
You nodded, but truthfully you were only half-listening. The sight of Joel in your bedroom was far too distracting.
It’s been so long since Joel was a guest in your house – well, only a couple of weeks tops – but you missed seeing him in your private space. Though one could say, he never truly left with how often you thought about him.
So maybe that’s why you were so shameless with your staring.
His broad shoulders were to die for, and you bit your lip absentmindedly as your eyes wandered across his muscular back and forearms, usually hidden under the sleeves. You knew you shouldn’t be ogling your neighbor who was nice enough to lend you a helping hand whenever you needed, but… well, a little admiring wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?
And there was a lot to admire.
“You listenin’ to me?”
The brutal wake-up call of his voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you blush wildly and your body hot with embarrassment at being caught staring.
Okay, maybe it would hurt someone.
“Y-yeah,” you stuttered, feeling your whole neck heating up rapidly. “Uh-huh. I understand.”
Joel’s lips stretched into a lopsided smile, and he turned to face you fully.
“I asked if you have some nails in the house,” he repeated, not breaking eye contact. If you allowed yourself to be delusional, you’d say his voice sounded almost… flirtatious. But that was probably only your head telling you what you wanted to hear.
“Yeah…” you breathed distractedly, but then shook your head quickly. “I mean, no. No, I don’t.”
Joel smirked, stepping closer to you and making you swallow heavily. Your gaze once again dropped to his strong arms, down to his big hands and… fuck. He had his thumbs hooked in his tool belt, already hanging low on his waist, and it made him look so ridiculously hot.
Lord have mercy.
“What got ya so distracted, sweet girl?”
Have fuckin’ mercy.
“Nothing!” you said, a bit louder than you intended, crossing your arms over your chest to do something with this splitting tension in your body. “I was just looking at�� the shelf.”
Joel’s eyebrows shot upright. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he didn’t believe you. “The shelf,” he repeated blankly, and you nodded, trying to appear calm despite feeling like you were going to burst into flames if he kept looking at you like that. But then Joel chuckled, and his eyes turned as warm as always. “M’only teasin’. Stop lookin’ so scared.”
“I’m not–” you started, but your lips also spread into a grin when you saw his genuine smile. “God, you’re insufferable. Will you fix it or not?”
“So demandin’,” Joel mused, shaking his head and walking out of the room. “I’m gonna go get the nails from my house. Be right back.”
You whispered under your breath something he didn’t hear, but it made him smile to himself nonetheless.
It was so easy to slip back into this playful banter with you, Joel thought as he made his way back home. Maybe things between you two won’t be as awkward anymore (though he was aware all this awkwardness was his fault), and he could go back to being your friend.
No matter that he wished he could be something more. No, it wasn’t right to think that way. What you two had was enough.
Still, as he looked for those damn nails, he couldn’t get out of his mind the way that adorable blush spread across your face. And how your eyes lingered on his figure when he looked at you. But no, surely he was only imagining things.
…right?
Joel sighed, closing the door behind him and going back toward your house, his thoughts already on the best way to fix that shelf of yours and maybe stabilize it a bit more, because by the look of how it hung on the wall, it was only a matter of time until he’ll have to visit again.
Or maybe he’ll leave it be. Only to have an extra excuse to see you sooner rather than later.
He rolled his eyes at his own musings, but the train of his thoughts abruptly stopped when he saw your front door slightly opened. He slowed down, wondering if you went after him… but no, there was no sign of you anywhere, and he was pretty sure he closed it on his way out.
And then he heard a faint sound of glass shattering.
Joel’s mind went completely blank. In a blink of an eye he stormed into the house, his survival instincts formed over the last twenty years kicking in and screaming for him to find you, to make sure you’re safe and unharmed.
But your bedroom was empty and when Jeol yelled your name, no one answered him. You were within the safe walls of Jackson, and there was no way the infected or raiders could ambush you, but still Joel felt an icy wave of panic washing over him, his mind providing him with terrible scenarios that would explain the open door and your silence.
Then a small thud reverberated from the other room, and Joel’s legs carried him there without a second thought.
He slammed the door open, and his eyes immediately locked on the man holding you against the wall. Your assaulter – that fucking kid, Jack – had one hand covering your mouth, the other forearm pinning your shoulders to the wall. His knee was between your legs and Joel could see you standing on your tippy toes, trying to pull away as far as possible.
Joel’s hands were itching to get rid of the threat that guy was for you, but first his gaze involuntarily shifted to your face – and his heart clenched painfully when he noticed your terrified expression and tears streaming down your cheeks.
The blinding rage in Joel’s veins almost charred him from the inside out and he felt like he was about to explode from the fury seething inside of him. In two long strides he ran towards Jack and all but threw him off of you, stepping to the side to act as a shield between you and him.
“You just signed your death sentence, kid,” he growled and punched the other man in the face when he tried to get up. You screamed behind him, but Joel ignored it, the need to beat the living daylights out of this little shit almost overwhelming his senses.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” Jack yelled from the floor, holding a hand in front of his face. “You broke me fucking nose, man!”
It was true, the blood was flowing freely from the already swelling nose, but it didn’t feel like enough. Joel had to utilize every fiber of his willpower to keep himself from venting his wrath on this kid. He knew damn well it wouldn’t end well for either of them – Jackson had hard laws when it came to violence.
“You deserve a lot worse,” Joel gritted his teeth and motioned with his head towards the exit. “Now get out.”
“She wanted it!” Jack shouted, as if he hoped that his explanations would make the situation any better. He wiped the blood flowing from his nose, glaring at you angrily. “Stupid bitch,” he snarled, “can’t make up her mind. Didn’t I do enough for you?! I was nice, always helped you–”
“Get the fuck out of here before I break your jaw,” Joel cut in, clenching his fists and taking a step forward. The young fucker seemed to size him up for a couple of seconds, probably wondering if starting a fight was worth it, but eventually spluttered contemptuously.
“Fine,” he snarled, and then looked below Joel’s arm at you. “I wouldn’t want to catch somethin’ from you, either way, if you’re already fucking this old geezer.”
Your face, and also Joel’s, grew hot – but while yours was red from embarrassment and shame, his was burning from barely concealed rage.
“OUT!!” he shouted, his thundering and powerful voice making both you and Jack flinch. His face was twisted in fury and the other man must’ve realized that staying here longer would only mean worse for him, because he scrambled to his feet and ran out without another word.
The front door slammed shut behind him, and for a few seconds a heavy silence hung in the air.
Joel took a steadying breath, trying to restore his cool, but he felt himself shaking from rage. If he didn’t come back in time… if he was a minute late, he didn’t want to think what that bastard would’ve done to you.
Trying to shut down the intrusive thoughts, Joel turned around and knelt by where you were still seated on the ground. He couldn’t will the tension in his body to lessen, and his muscles and tendons were so taut that he thought they were going to snap. But he forced his hands to unclench before he gently cupped your face.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked quietly, his brows knitted in worry. You shook your head, but your eyes were filled with tears, and it felt like something was ripping Joel’s chest apart.
“He pushed me. And I… the glass.”
You lifted your hand and Joel winced when he saw a shard of green glass – from the flower vase which previously stood on the table – embedded in your palm. A trickle of blood was running down your wrist, but he presumed there would be much more once he took it out.
“It’s alright, sweet girl. I’ll take care of it.” I’ll take care of you. “Let’s go to the kitchen so I can patch you up, ‘kay?”
You nodded, letting him pull you to your feet.
Once you made your way there and you instructed him on where some bandages and disinfectant were, Joel gently grabbed your waist and hoisted you up onto the table, seemingly without any problem at all. You blushed when you felt his touch, for a moment forgetting about the pain piercing your palm, but the gravity of what you just experienced crept up on you again soon enough.
Joel noticed your silence as he carefully removed the shard and bandaged your hand. He didn’t want to imagine what exactly happened when he was gone, but it was obvious it shook you quite strongly. So when he saw tears welling in your eyes, he threw all caution to the wind and wrapped his arms tightly around you.
Not one ounce of regret had time to haze his mind over, because you instantly clung to him, too, letting out a shaky exhale. Joel hugged you tightly, letting go of all the tension and fear in his body. He was never this close to you before, and he allowed himself to indulge in the warmth of your body and the feeling of your arms around him, reminding him that you’re okay, that you’re with him now. He breathed in your scent, hiding his nose in the crown of your head and pressing his lips to your hair, hoping to calm you down.
“It’s alright, baby. I’m here, you’re safe now.”
You tensed, but Joel just held you closer, not realizing he said something wrong. He planted a soft kiss on your hairline, sighing when you started moving your hands up and down his back soothingly. Despite standing up, Joel felt relaxed like never before, like he could fall asleep right here and now.
That is, until you spoke up.
“What did you say?”
…shit.
Joel opened his mouth, then closed it almost immediately. His eyes raced wildly across the room, trying to think of what to say, but he didn’t let go of you. There might’ve been a selfish reason behind his inaction, but mostly he didn’t want you to see his flustered face.
“Nothin’,” he answered after a pregnant and rather uncomfortable pause, and cleared his throat. “You don’t wanna… t’was nothin’ important.”
Maybe you really didn’t hear him. It would have saved him a lot of trouble and embarrassment, and probably another two weeks of his life of avoiding you. But judging by the silence in the room, he wasn’t so lucky.
“Did you…” You swallowed before finishing softly, “call me ‘baby’?”
Joel cringed, closing his eyes tightly, and prayed for some higher power to smite him off the surface of the Earth. But again – luck wasn’t on his side.
The silence prolonged, and you finally grew impatient. You pulled away, looking up to scan his face. “Joel?”
“I’m sorry, it… slipped out,” he mumbled, all red and not meeting your eyes. That was a shame, because if he did find the courage to look at you, he would notice a small smile forming on your face as you regarded him.
“So I heard you correctly?” you asked again, and he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and rubbing his eyes.
“Yes, yes you did. M’really sorry, I wasn’t thinkin’. I just tried to comfort you and– fuck,” he whispered to himself, lowering his hand but still not looking in your direction. “I, I don’t want ya to feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I can go…”
“No.” Your uninjured hand shot out and grabbed his shirt before you could process what you were doing. Joel glanced down at your fist clutching the material, and then back up into your wide eyes. “Please, no. Stay.”
His lips parted slightly at your request and unexplained (at least from his perspective) hope filling your gaze. He looked so adorable that you had never wanted to kiss him more than right now.
“Come closer,” you pleaded, barely louder than a whisper.
Joel obliged, letting your hand guide him. You gently pulled him to you, so that he was almost standing between your legs, and your fingers loosened their hold, now smoothing over the material of his shirt.
You took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing your weight on his chest. Joel looked puzzled by your behavior, but when he realized what you were doing, he stopped you gently by putting his own hand on your shoulder.
“No,” he whispered, his voice full of pain, but steady. “Don’t do that. You… you’re in a state of shock.”
“I know what I want,” you spoke equally quietly, staring at him with nothing but pure genuineness and need in your eyes. “And I want you, Joel.”
“Please, ba–” he cut himself off before he could finish this word. It pained him deeply to reject you, but he knew that if he let you kiss him, you’d regret it later. And that he wouldn’t be able to survive. “I’m sorry, sweet girl, but it wouldn’t be right. I don’t wanna be takin’ advantage of you.”
Your face fell in confusion and disappointment, but you didn’t let him go even when he put a light pressure on your hand.
“You never..” you gulped, searching his face, “thought about it? About… me, in that way?”
Christ, what was he supposed to say to that? He wouldn’t be able to lie to you, not if you kept looking at him with those innocent and full of desire eyes of yours.
“Don’t ask me.” Joel closed his eyes, the muscle in his cheek pulsing when he felt your touch on the side of his face. “Please, don’t ask me.”
“Because I have,” you continued in a sudden rush of courage. “I think about you constantly, and about us. Every time I invite you over or see you in the town working... And I’m only saying all that, because I thought maybe… maybe you felt it, too. I think you do.” Joel didn’t answer, and you looked up at him with determination you didn’t really feel. “Tell me.”
Joel clenched his jaw, exhaling heavily, but didn’t pull away. He weighed the options in his mind while you waited patiently, and finally, his resolve cracked under your hopeful gaze.
“I think about you,” he began slowly, earnestly, “every night. Every fuckin’ night and day, sweetheart.” His voice was raspy, but that drawl of his so soft and delicious to your ears. “But I shouldn’t. You and I both know that.”
He still hasn’t looked your way. You tried to lean to the side to fit in his field of vision, but Joel turned away even more, attempting to take a step back. You grabbed his shirt again before he could do that, and he didn’t fight you.
“Why not?” you whispered, transfixed on his handsome features.
“‘Cause you deserve better. I’m way too old for you,” he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, like you should know it already. “You have so many admirers who are probably much more fit for you, and it would be… it is so wrong that I’m lettin’ those thoughts linger.”
“I don’t want any of them, though.” Joel finally locked eyes with you, but still seemed conflicted. You slowly let go of his clothes and reached for his hands, then guided them to your cheeks. You saw his throat bob nervously when you placed them there and brushed his knuckles with your thumbs. “Look, it’s hard for me to open up, but… I really like you. Really.”
Joel swallowed heavily, his face contorted in pain – as if your words were wounding not only his soul, but his very flesh. Then the pressure on your cheeks became a little stronger, and he tentatively swiped his thumbs under your eyes in a loving manner. Your heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings as he slowly scanned your face for any sign of hesitancy, then let his eyelids drop and pressed his forehead to yours. You lifted your chin slightly, nudging his nose with the tip of yours.
“Call me that again,” you whispered pleadingly. His wooden, earthly scent was enveloping all your senses, making you feel so very calm and safe. You’d gladly lose yourself in him. “Please.”
Joel instantly knew what you meant. His resolve was wavering and his body giving in, but the doubt was still there in his mind. The fear that he was somehow reading you wrong.
“Don’t beg me, sweet girl.” His breath was on your lips, beckoning you even closer. “M’too weak for that.”
“Please,” you repeated more urgently, and when he didn’t move, you turned your head and pressed your lips to the inside of his wrist tenderly. “Joel.”
He cursed softly. It appeared that the tension between you both was getting to him, too, and Joel was losing the battle he fought with himself. He lowered his lips to the edge of your jaw, his pupils blown wide and eyelids heavy, almost as if he was under a spell. You whimpered when he withdrew one of his hands on your cheeks, but the loss was quickly replaced by relief when he moved it to the small of your back, pulling you closer and flush against his body.
“You sure about this?” he murmured lowly, making you shiver against him. His nose traveled along your jaw and the column of your neck, then back up until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “I don’t want ya to regret it.”
“I won’t,” you promised. “Please, baby.”
Your plea sent a shiver down his spine. Joel couldn’t hold back anymore, didn’t want to. It was clear you wanted him, and he never was a strong enough man to deny you anything.
Your eyes met, and Joel took a second to get his heart under control. You were so beautiful, and your skin so soft under his touch… He tilted your chin up, barely able to comprehend that all of it was really happening, that it was you who put his hands on yourself. And you wanted him to kiss you.
For fuck’s sake, you begged him to.
All the remaining traces of his self-control evaporated in a heartbeat, and he pulled you in, pressing your body closer before bringing his lips to yours, locking them in a soft kiss.
His mouth molded perfectly to yours, causing you to sigh with relief at the gentle caress. You felt heat pooling in your stomach, and you were glad for sitting down because your weak knees would surely buckle under you in different circumstances. The intensity of the kiss gradually grew until it became so heated that you had to grab a fistful of Joel’s hair on the nape of his neck for support.
At one point, Joel pried your lips away, searching your eyes with concern. You worried that he was having second thoughts, but the longer he looked at you, the more his own irises darkened with lust and insatiable hunger, making your face burn like it was on fire. His clear want and the knowledge that you were the cause of it made you feel powerful, but somehow at the same time completely naked under his gaze.
Without any warning, he dived back in, his wide palm enveloping one side of your face while he tangled the other hand in your hair. He tugged on it, probably a little rougher than he intended, eliciting a needy moan from your chest. You instantly felt embarrassed about your response, but when you tried to pull away, Joel practically growled, not letting you turn away.
“S’alright, baby,” he rasped, trailing hot kisses down your neck, making your breath hitch in your throat. “Keep makin’ those pretty sounds for me.”
You felt dizzy. Like he could make you melt from the tone of his voice alone.
Having his lips on yours felt better than you have ever imagined, and so perfect that you never wanted this moment to end. But one thought kept nagging at you, making it harder and harder to focus, and finally after some time Joel softly drew away. He sent you a soft, almost shy smile.
“What is it, sweetheart? Not havin’ second thoughts, I hope?”
It hit you in that moment that it wasn’t the first time he looked at you with so much warmth and affection in his eyes. You just never noticed before that he always looked at you this way.
“No, no,” you hurried to reassure him. “Just something… Something I wanted to do for a while.”
He raised his eyebrows playfully. “Somethin’ other than kissin’ your handsome neighbor?”
You clicked your tongue at his unexpected cockiness.
“Not exactly.” Your answer only made him more intrigued, and you grinned. “Indulge me and take a step back.”
Joel squinted suspiciously, but eventually humored you. You bit your lip, feeling giddy at finally having a chance to do something you thought about every time this infuriatingly handsome man was in your house.
His eyes followed the tip of your tongue when it ran across your bottom lip… and you took this moment to hook your thumbs on his tool belt and yank him forward.
Your lips connected again, though it was far from perfect – your teeth clashed together and your noses collided, causing you both to yelp in small pain and discomfort, but you didn’t let go of him. Your joy from this silliness lasted only a couple of seconds, though, because before long Joel started to laugh uncontrollably.
You huffed and tried to kiss him again, but he withdrew out of your reach, wrapping his arms around your waist with a big, goofy smile.
“Get back here.”
“What the hell was that, sweetheart?”
His eyes crinkled in amusement and you felt a bit foolish from what you just did. You turned your gaze down, but Joel lifted your chin with his fingertip, and you couldn’t help but smile, too, when you saw how happy he looked.
“It looked more romantic in my head,” you murmured with an awkward chuckle. “I actually wanted to do it the first time I saw you with that belt on.”
“S’that so?” Joel asked and kissed you briefly again, this time with a hint of hunger he was keeping at bay until now. “You like seein’ me in it?”
“I really, really do,” you whispered, hiding your face in his chest. “I don’t know why, but it look so fucking hot on you…”
“My dirty baby,” Joel purred into your hair. The bright grin on his face only grew when he heard you groaning in embarrassment. “Gimme a kiss.”
You didn’t move, not wanting to face him, so Joel opted to nuzzle the sensitive skin of your neck with his nose. “You’re adorable, y’know that? Don’t get all shy on me now, babygirl.”
A deep sigh escaped your chest and the tension in your shoulders lessened. Joel smirked into the crook of your neck, still planting soft kisses on your skin. His lower back was starting to ache from the position, but there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather be.
And then all the discomfort in his body was put in the shade when you moaned quietly, pressing yourself against him more and wrapping your arms around Joel’s neck.
“Do you wanna get back to my room?” you asked after a while, and Joel hummed into your skin, now littered with love bites his lips and teeth left in their wake.
“You want me to fix that shelf of yours?” he teased back, making you snort.
“Just wanna cuddle with you. If that’s okay.” You nuzzled into his neck, and added quietly. “I can still feel his touch on me. And I only wanna feel you.”
Though Joel would be more than okay with that, by the sounds you were making and the look you were giving him, he doubted that’s all you’ll be doing. Still, his back hurt like hell and he almost let out a relieved groan at the thought of laying down.
“If you want me, baby. If you want me, then I’m all yours.”
Not a week has passed, and Joel had to get his toolbox out again – this time to fix your broken bed.
Though now he knew exactly what caused the damage.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#the last of us#joel miller fluff#i played with perspective a bit in this one as you can probably tell#joel miller x you#joel tlou#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction
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SCREW IT IM GONNA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A BIT
So it's been like a month since I put up my last big mashup, and the response has been awesome. I wanted to talk about all the little bits I put in there, because frankly, I put a lot of love into it, and I want to share it! Here's the video of the mashup with the music video (which is a big part of it.)
youtube
First of all, shoutouts to Shoocharu for the incredible animation for the original MV. I've found him to always have the best Game Grumps animations, and his abilities work perfectly for this music video.
Okay, now just to talk about all the Silly Jokes and Bits and Stuff. A lot of these were noticed by comments (and shoutouts to them! I love seeing people get these)
-Ska Cha Cha is used as a reference to the name of the actual song "Transcendental Cha Cha Cha". Close enough.
-A couple samples are used multiple times at different points in the song. For "Tik Tok", "Ska Cha Cha" and "Down" it makes sense since it's the chorus of the song. However, I also bring back "I'm Blue" and "Toxic" because in the original song, those samples are played over the lyrics "The universe is getting colder, colder. Still every universe somehow got Zumba". Those lyrics are repeated at the end of the song, showing how what was once madness is now being embraced. I thought playing those samples again with the full mix was appropriate.
-And yes, in the two appearances of The Void in the music video, MEGALOVANIA plays because he looks kinda like Sans.
-"words, words, words" was a super interesting inclusion. At first I added it because of the lyric "Just relax..." which is a lyric during that portion of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha. Also, not only did "here's two facts" thematically work well (since the song was about to discuss two separate universes) but it also perfectly aligned rhythmically. Also, that "words, words, words" line might be one of my favorite pre-choruses ever.
-I included Cruel Angel's Thesis at someone else's suggestion, but I'm really glad they suggested it. I actually start it with a somewhat heavy low pass filter before slowly fading off it because I thought it sounded cooler.
-I included "Harder Better Faster Stronger" during that portion because Tom's vocal effects sound similar.
-Cha Cha Slide matches perfectly since the lyrics of Transcendental Cha Cha Cha are also "Slide to the left....slide to the right". Incredibly proud of the little breakdown I included during the mix-up portion.
-"Sometimes this song, it sounds like" segment is referencing myself, since over the years I have developed my own patterns. Sometimes the song does indeed sound like Crawling (plus funny commercial next to it. Again...patterns) and sometimes it does sound like All Star (shoutouts to Star Shop)
-The Mighty B! Theme slaps actually.
-I felt like I had to include the Peanut Butter Jelly snippet, since "it's everything and nothing, it's a baseball bat" sounded almost like it was a direct reference to it. I wanted to include the original Tom Cardy lyric on top of that one both to hammer home the joke and also because I thought the harmonic vocals layered perfectly onto Peanut Butter Jelly Time would make for a nice touch.
-Every time I saw someone notice that I put the "God Dammit" directly after Never Gonna Give You Up to imply that he was mad about getting rick rolled, I gained a year of my life.
-Keeping the "Blink!" from the original song I felt was useful to help kinda punctuate the wildly different samples I was using.
-"Money Game" and "Money Money Money" being played over the French Revolution. Completely unrelated, but have you noticed how much wealth inequality we're facing here in America? That's interesting.
-"Closer" and "Closer" is such an easy joke. In fact it's so easy I've done it before. Did it anyway lmao
-During the big buildup, "Larger Than Life" was used mostly because I hadn't used that song before and I thought it was time. "Dare" was put in because I think that the vocals work really well to naturally create a sense of buildup (unless it's the Live version). "Brain Power" was put in to replicate the noise gate that Tom put on his extended note.
-Monkey Watch and Mr Brightside. Again! Patterns!
-toes
So yeah that's Transcendental Fever Dream. I'm sure if I had more time and excuses to talk about all the nitty gritty details and choices made I'd do it, but I think this is a pretty big breakdown. Something's always felt kinda Big about this one. I think that save for Super Smashup, this is the best mashup I've ever made, and I think it acts as a sort of a culmination of these last 7 years or so of mashups. No idea what the future holds, but if it comes from love, then it's gonna be great.
Thanks for reading.
#long post#mashup#my thoughts#rambling#been in a weird spot lately where i feel like im moving to a new sort of era in my life#idk what it means but its something#Youtube
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ILYILYILY YOUR MEGUMI INSTA POST WAS BEAUTIFUL I NOW NEEEEDDDDD A YUUJI ONE 🙏🙏🙏🙏
YUJI FANGIRLS RISE UP!!! indie I LUV YOU TOO!!
DATING YUJI ITADORI INSTAGRAM!
details!
instagram posts w/ comments while dating Yuji Itadori!
a/n OBVIOUSLY these are just pictures off of pinterest, reader can be however you imagine!
a/n Americanizing this one because my homecoming is next week and I think Yuji would be such a good hoco date
a/n Yuji plays football and track/cross country((idk the difference, sue me)) (GO WITH IT.)
a/n modern!no curses!AU
m. list
aoi.todo replied to your story: the friendzone is a terrible place for my brother. luvfromy/n: huh!?! No way! Yuji doesn't like me like that there's no way!! We're just super best friends! aoi.todo: oh I see. aoi.todo: Say, Y/n, whats your type? luvfromy/n: uhhh well... selfless, enthusiastic, and incredibly kind people. someone who's like the sun aoi.todo reacted "👍" to this message
yuujithetiger replied to your story: No need to thank me for hanging out with my favorite person :DD luvfromy/n: :D Being with you is my favorite part of my day yuujithetiger: same here!!
yuujithetiger · 9w
430 likes Liked by megumi.fushi, barabara, and luvfromy/n
yuujithetiger She was the first to run on the field after I got a PR!! :DD I luv my best friend!
luvfromy/n I luv you too!! I'm so proud and happy for you! yuujithetiger luvfromy/n THANK YOU!!! i think I did better because you were cheering for me... just saying! luvfromy/n yuujithetiger well I'm glad I could help then! :DD
barabara nice job loser
aoi.todo THATS MY BROTHER!! choso.kamo aoi.todo 🤨🤨🤨
luvfromy/n · 6w
1.2k likes Liked by yuujithetiger, barabara, choso.kamo, megumi.fushi, and togetalks
luvfromy/n two weeks before homecoming! Had to cheer yuji on at his practice <3
yuujithetiger i always perform better when you're in the stands luvfromy/n yuujithetiger guess I'll just have to keep coming 🙂↕️🙂↕️ yuujithetiger luvfromy/n guess you do :/// (:DDDDDD)
barabara tell your man to put a shirt on 🤮🤮 luvfromy/n barabara HUH? MEAND YUJI ARENT DATING!?!?!??! barabara luvfromy/n oh! that's interesting...
okkatsuyuta its like hes a machine when you're cheering for him! please keep coming to our games and practices!! luvfromy/n okkatsuyuta wouldn't wanna be anywhere else! I'll always be cheering for Yuji!
luvfromy/n · 6w
1.4k likes Liked by yuujithetiger, megumi.fushi, aoi.todo, barabara, and choso.kamo
luvfromy/n I almost CRIED! I'VE LITERALLY WAITED FOR THIS FOR SO LONG!!!
yuujithetiger MY HEART WAS POUNDING SHOWING IT TO YOU. I'M SO GLAD YOU SAID YES luvfromy/n yuujithetiger WHY WOULDNT I???? yuujithetiger luvfromy/n I THOUGHT I WAS IN THE FRIENDZONE! luvfromy/n yuujithetiger I THOUGHT *I* WAS IN THE FRIENDZONE!!
megumi.fushi finally barabara megumi.fushi literally. choso.kamo barabara listening to him talk about her nonstop was giving me a headache 😭😭
aoi.todo THATS MY BROTHER.
yuujithetiger · 5w
510 likes Liked by megumi.fushi, barabara, choso.kamo, aoi.todo, and togetalks
yuujithetiger the most beautiful girl in the world <3
luvfromy/n the most handsome boy in the world <3 yuujithetiger luvfromy/n homecoming was so fun! It felt like a dream being with you luvfromy/n yuujithetiger NO REAL! I was so nervous the whole time!! but being with you made it better (as it always does) yuujithetiger luvfromy/n I'm glad I could make you feel not so nervous :D luvfromy/n yuujithetiger you really are the sun <3
© https-milo. please do not repost, steal, copy, or modify my works!
Thank you so much for reading <3
#jjk#jjk yuji#jjk yuji itadori#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smau#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smau#anime#anime x reader#anime fluff#anime smau#yuji itadori#yuji#yuji smau#itadori#itadori smau#yuji itadori x reader#yuji itadori fluff#yuji itadori smau
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as the flowers bloom, my heart does too ⋆*·゚misa x putellas!femreader, social media au, (12/-)
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when your relationship ends and all you want to do is hide and cry, flowers suddenly start to appear on your doorstep.
or; misa hating to see a pretty girl cry and suffer and going out of her way to cheer her up while staying anonymous
fic: see my masterlist 🤍
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yourusername: conquering my jet lag, one yawn at a time Liked by albaps9, begovargas, janafernandez3 and 2,309 others
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alexiaputellas Our lucky charm is finally here 🤩 ↳ marisabel_rguez Good things to come for sure!! ↳ alexiaputellas 😎🙌
albaps9 oh no! there goes my peace! ↳ yourusername and here i thought you'd enjoy another slumber party 🙄 ↳ albaps9 so long as you won't hog the bedsheets again, sure 😬
bff2 Have the best time! 😊
jennihermoso Aye, she's here!
username1 yay she's in sydney!!!! liked by 23 others ↳ username2 effing finally 🤭 ↳ username3 Took her long enough 😂
bff1 bring me back a kangaroo pls ↳ yourusername can't fit that in my carry on. how about a melon sized spider?
marialeonn16 🎉👯♀️
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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story
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yourusername: the happy faces i'll never get tired of seeing. i'm so proud of you both!! i've seen all the hard work, energy and time you've both put into this dream and the things you've had to sacrifice to get where you are. and i feel so grateful to have been there to support you both from the sidelines wherever and however much i could. this one's for the little you's who had a dream, and for all the little kids you've helped want that same dream tonight. here's to more successes, and i can't wait to cheer you on for as long as i can! i love you two. Liked by bff2, alexiaputellas, janafernandez3 and 4,290 others
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albaps9 what about me? 😪 ↳ yourusername i'll always want to see your ugly face 😘 ↳ albaps9 sigh, i'll take the backhanded love ↳ bff1 and what about me?????? 🥺 ↳ yourusername you too bb 🤗 ↳ albaps9 stop stealing her attention from me ↳ bff1 go CRY about it 😡
bff3 Congratulations Misa and Ale! 😍
marisabel_rguez ❤️🤩🇪🇸😱😭💪🏽
begovargas woooooohoooo 🎉
username1 stop, i find it so cute she's celebrating both their wins 😭 liked by 78 others
alexiaputellas I LOVE YOU!!!!
bff2 Congrats lovelies!!
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↳ 16min ago: alexiaputellas added to their story
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↳ 16h ago: yourusername added to their story
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↳ 1h ago: yourusername added to their story
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tagged: yourusername marisabel_rguez: Reunited with my woman and it's never felt better 🤩 Liked by bff3, albaps9, haleyraso and 38,389 others
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alexiaputellas The dream team is together again!
bff1 mama... y papa. papa y mama. ↳ yourusername delete tiktok or vine or wherever that's from ↳ bff1 vine's been dead for YEARS omg you're such a grandma ↳ yourusername oh em gee no!!!😱 ↳ bff1 but hey, who's mami and who's papi? ↳ albaps9 real questions being asked 👀
bff3 Enjoy your vacation, sweethearts 😘
username1 'MY wOMAN'!! 😭 ↳ username2 i was going to say! 😪 ↳ username3 They're the most adorable couple rn omg
jennihermoso Teaching her to surf? Where's her lifejacket? 😂 ↳ marisabel_rguez Jajaja, we could still stand there. She didn't want to go further out. ↳ yourusername because of the fishies and the sharkies. i need to be able to run and not wail around in the water if i see something approach 😭 ↳ marisabel_rguez You're cute 🤣
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Text Messages
18:01 Misa 🤍 You're adorable, you know that right? And I love you.
18:01 Misa 🤍 And incredibly irresistible too, but sshh.
18:03 you only for you chula. and i love you 😘
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tagged: marisabel_rguez yourusername: bliss 🤍 Liked by bff3, bff1, marisabel_rguez and 2,872 others
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marisabel_rguez Best birthday ever 😘 ↳ yourusername so my birthday surprise for you last year wasn't memorable enough? 😤 ↳ marisabel_rguez I loved that, but considering you keep on raising the bar for yourself, it's going to get better every year, just like the rest of life with you. ↳ albaps9 i think you broke her or else she would've definitely replied ↳ marisabel_rguez Jaja yes, she's a teary mess beside me now.
alexiaputellas Very sweet 🤗
username1 happy birthday, misa!! 🍰 liked by 56 others
bff1 ohhh what did you do for her birthday? ↳ yourusername each other <3 This comment is no longer available ↳ bff1 YOU SHE-DEVIL, I SAW THAT ↳ albaps9 saw what?? let me in on the goss!!! ↳ alexiaputellas What's going on? ↳ bff1 nothing! ↳ albaps9 👀.... ok gotcha. ↳ alexiaputellas You know what, I don't even want to know. ↳ bff1 they had birthday cake, that's all 🤷♀️ ↳ alexiaputellas 🤨
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↳ 16h ago: yourusername added to their story
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Direct Message
albaps9 ok, you have had that picture as your lockscreen, sent it in every groupchat and now also flaunt it on ig. it's adorable but are you ever going to stop boasting that your girlfriend won a world cup? 👀
yourusername NO, duuuh! my girlfriend is a gold medalist 😌
albaps9 if you're now going to make a goalie dad joke and say that it were her golden hands that won a golden medal i will actually block you
yourusername .... ☹️
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yourusername: black is my favourite colour 🖤 Liked by marisabel_rguez, albaps9, bff2 and 5,323 others
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marisabel_rguez What a woman 🖤 (and it is my favourite too 😉) ↳ yourusername all yours ↳ marisabel_rguez ❤️
bff1 black isn't a colour, idiot ↳ yourusername i know, it's an inside jOKE
username1 Absolutely living for the resurrection of their comments 😭 liked by 39 others ↳ username2 can't believe we worried they'd broken up 🤣
bff2 Yesssss 🔥
ingridengen 🤩
janafernandez3 😍😍😍😍
bff3 It's getting hot in here!
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↳ 6h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story
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username1: misa and y/n with fans last night ^
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username2 fyi misa was such a smitten gentlewoman <3 ↳ username4 YOU MET THEM? ↳ username2 yeah we were lucky to run into them! misa was constantly giving heart eyes and sticking close to her and yn is the sweetest human!! she absolutely doesn't look like half the devilish things she comments come from her 🤣 ↳ username5 Why would you approach them when they're out together? I don't understand 😭 ↳ username2 they were walking by and seemed fine with it tbh ↳ username5 Yes because how else should they react?
username3 am i the only one who's kind of getting the ick with fans disturbing them on their night out?
username6 Hot couple alert incoming wee-woo-wee-woo 🚒🚨
username7 yn's so pretty 😣
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↳ 1min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 26secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story ↳ 3secs ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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tagged: yourusername marisabel_rguez: My favourite person to match and be in-sync with 😎 Liked by alexiaputellas, ireneparedes4, yourusername and 18,837 others
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alexiaputellas Yeah, you've become inseparable now, it's annoying 😆 ↳ albaps9 don't act like you don't adore it 😡 liked by alexiaputellas
username1 of course her handwriting is as beautiful as she is
username2 are notes their thing? bc i feel like they are <3
sofie.svava Fit 🔥
yourusername love you love you love you
marialeonn16 😍
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yourusername: my everything. Liked by patri8guijarro, claudiaapina, marisabel_rguez and 9,349 others
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bff1 aw the 'm' necklace! ↳ yourusername i got it for our 600 day anniversary ): ↳ albaps9 you've become a hopeless romantic, bc that's not even a THING ↳ yourusername IT IS NOW ↳ albaps9 well if anything, it's more of a reward for misa for sticking it out this long 😂 ↳ bff1 alba's just jealous bc she's single ↳ albaps9 the audacity to say that?? ↳ yourusername don't be, your perfect someone is out there!!!!! ↳ bff1 definitely 👀 ↳ albaps9 don't you get ideas now ↳ bff1 never 😯
bff3 ❤️
bff2 Girlies!! 😍
marisabel_rguez My entire world 😉
marialeonn16 ohh lalaaa 🌅🤩
bff1 what flavour icecream was that? ↳ yourusername cappuccino! ↳ bff1 oh wow i could've sworn it looked like hazelnut ↳ yourusername hmm, i can kinda see that! close tho. i should probably get that next time. ↳ bff1 i only like hazelnut if they have tiny wafers in them ↳ yourusername OH! but those get soggy. it's like leaving cereal out in milk too long ↳ bff1 duh, that's why you gotta eat it fast ↳ yourusername no thank you, i don't want a brainfreeze ↳ bff2 🙄😂 ↳ bff3 Tweedledum and tweedledee, said with love xo 😘
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yourusername: i miss her already. Liked by ingridengen, begovargas, alexiaputellas and 1,193 others
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jennihermoso Who knew Misa was secretly a dorky and smitten romantic? Definitely not me 😆 ↳ marisabel_rguez Only for her! 😁 liked by yourusername
username1 well this is utterly adorable
marisabel_rguez Miss you more. ↳ alexiaputellas 🤢 ↳ alexiaputellas Jaja, kidding ❤️🤔
username2 whoop, yes, notes are their thing
sofie.svava You've exposed her, don't know how she'll feel about that 😆 ↳ yourusername if i've ruined her tough act, then girlies will never steal her away from me 😏 ↳ sofie.svava I think they'll love this soft side even more, though! ↳ yourusername 😩 ↳ marisabel_rguez I'm not going anywhere, like I wrote, I've left a piece of my heart with you 😌 liked by 85 others
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Text Messages
21:58 you waaaatcha doing, love?
22:10 Misa 🤍 Texting the most gorgeous woman in the entire world!
22:10 Misa 🤍 What about you, love?
22:10 you omg ew, i have competition now? 😒
22:10 Misa 🤍 Jajajaja never!
22:10 you but i'm missing you. haven't stopped doing that since you left.
22:10 Misa 🤍 ○○○
22:10 Misa 🤍 Y/N ☹️
22:11 Misa 🤍 I'll be back before you know it! Okay?
22:11 Misa 🤍 And I know you can be patient.
22:11 Misa 🤍 Especially for me.
22:12 you hmm i don't know, can i? i'm not too sure.
22:12 you ○○○
22:12 you i might need a little something to hold me over?
Delivered
23:45 Misa 🤍 Fuck, I'm so sorry for disappearing on you. Let me call you. I like it better on the phone than through texts.
23:45 Misa 🤍 Y/N?
23:45 Misa 🤍 Are you still up?
23:45 Misa 🤍 I'm sorry, my love. I hope tomorrow will be a good day at work. I'll call you before you leave 😘
Delivered
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↳ 5min ago: yourusername added to their close friends story
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Text Messages
23:59 Misa 🤍 Wait, you're awake?
23:59 Misa 🤍 Are you still up for it?
00:06 you it's late, misa, you should go and catch some sleep.
00:08 Misa 🤍 Okay, beautiful. Your say ❤️But I see how it is... I'll remember this 🤫
00:08 you i sure hope you will. you'll have to make it up to me somehow ☺️
00:08 you sweet dreams, chula 😚
00:08 you ○○○
00:08 you and i love you.
00:08 Misa 🤍 Sweet dreams, my love. I love you.
00:08 Misa 🤍 And I will make it up to you, don't worry 😉
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Text Messages
Groupchat
09:45 ale 🐻 Ay dios mio, I did not need to see that on a Thursday morning.
09:49 albaquerque 🌼 what did she do now?
09:49 ale 🐻 I love how you know what it's about before I've told you.
09:49 ale 🐻 Go to your instagram.
09:51 albaquerque 🌼 AYYYY MAMACITA
09:51 albaquerque 🌼 damn we've got some good genes 🍑
09:52 ale 🐻 I should've just stayed quiet 😫
09:52 ale 🐻 I'm pretty sure that picture was meant for someone else to see??????
09:53 albaquerque 🌼 i bet misa's having a GREAT morning 😱
09:53 ale 🐻 Wouldn't know, haven't seen her come down yet to the breakfast hall.
09:54 albaquerque 🌼 as i was saying- i bet misa's having a GREAT morning!!!!!
09:54 ale 🐻 Great, you've ruined my appetite now and breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
09:54 albaquerque 🌼 i think misa would beg to differ 🤣🤣🤣
09:55 ale 🐻 OK😑 Bye.
09:55 albaquerque 🌼 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
09:56 you stop spamming my phone it's way too early
09:56 ale 🐻 It's ten??
09:56 albaquerque 🌼 oh there she is
09:56 albaquerque 🌼long night, hey? 🤣
09:56 albaquerque 🌼 you didn't happen to be on the phone with a certain goalie just now? (who's late btw)
09:56 you i have no clue what you're talking about 👋
09:56 albaquerque 🌼 sure you don't, but ale does. right, ale?
09:56 ale 🐻 GOOD BYE. Dios mio, I'm not doing this.
09:56 albaquerque 🌼 ok bYEEEE. so laelia, why the story??
10:01 you well i couldn’t text it to her directly, that’d be too much of a gift. and i'm just confident in my body idc who knows 😚
10:02 albaquerque 🌼 ohhh she made you maaad?
10:02 you hmm no
10:03 albaquerque 🌼 sexually frustrated? 🤣
10:05 you noooo 😫
10:08 albaquerque 🌼 ok so that's a yes lol. do you still have mami on your close friends?
10:08 you god no, not after last time
10:08 albaquerque 🌼 what else did you think would happen that time tho?
10:10 you she’s always been very open minded, i honestly didn’t think she’d bat an eye or notice 😔
10:11 albaquerque 🌼 yeah with us, you’re her little pookie poo. i’m surprised she doesn’t still talk to you in a baby voice 🤣
10:11 you 🙄
⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚
↳ 1h ago: marisabel_rguez added to their story
⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚⋆*·゚
a/n: long overdue update, but i hope you've enjoyed it. here's a flower to brighten up your day 🌻
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FFWAD 24 - Sins of the Father by @selfproclaimedunicorn
For my first foray into this yearly celebration with @renegadeguild, I picked the brilliant and fantastic story, Sins of the Father by @selfproclaimedunicorn. Misa has taken the fantastic AU premise 'What if Daemon Targaryen and Rhea Royce had kids?' and has run with it in the most delicious and satisfying way. The story isn't complete, but the first 'arc' has a good stopping point at a whopping 160k words, which made for the chonkiest book you could imagine.
This was the twelth book I've bound (both fic and rebinds of old favorites) and I tried several new techniques for it including rounding and backing the spine. I also stretched my legs in the formatting department and went all in with the interior. That meant ordering some special springhill paper to do these fantastic maps for the endpages. Full details behind the cut!
Typesetting: Normally I've kept my settings pretty minimal as I got used to the ins and outs of InDesign (during this, I did purchase Affinity Publisher and might end up moving to that, but I'm finally getting the hang of ID and you can pry it from my cold hands). I really wanted to mimic some of the interior of Fire & Blood for this, so I hunted down the fonts used and took an image of the decorative banner you see on the sides to use for the chapter openers. I also wanted to include timelines and family trees in true historically inspired fantasy tradition.
The family tree was created based off of the author's spreadsheet in Google Drawing, which I found to be the easiest thing to use when it comes to creating chaotic family trees like this (In the past I'd used lucid chart for a printable version, but google worked better here).
the timeline is honestly my favorite thing and I learned how to use tables in ID for the first time. I'm incredibly pleased with it. The formatting is based upon the line of kings in the source. The timeline covers the events of the first arc as printed in this particular story.
The chapter openers are some of my favorite! As the children are proud to be House Royce, I wanted to reflect that. The runes you see behind the Chapter number and title are the Floki font and name the character whose the POV for each chapter.
Since there's plenty of High Valyrian spoken and the author doesn't include the translations within narrative, it was the perfect moment to set up footnotes. I'll absolutely be doing this for my own story when I bind it!
Rounding and Backing: So this was a total adventure, but I really wanted the old book feel. I made the mistake of pressing the book for too long and lost a lot of the swell in the spine to round but it worked out AND I managed to back it a little bit. Since I wasn't doing cord tapes for the spine (this was a version of the three piece bradel), I had to troubleshoot. I ended up cutting strips of the leather cord I bought from michaels and laminating those pieces together and placing them on the oxford hollow on the spine (given how thick the book is, I wanted to give it as much structural strength as possible). The 'leather' covering you see is actually the craft leather (polyester) from Dollar Tree and it's pretty awesome but definitely has difficulties staying put with glue. I followed the normal procedure and slathered both sides up and used twine to compress the bookcloth along those leather pieces. there's a little gaping in some places which I think would help if I'm able to properly apply backing paper to the polyester.
HTV do's and don'ts: Hi! don't be me and forget to apply your teflon sheets before applying the HTV because then you fuck with the polyester but it's not too bad. The other pro-tip is to gently apply the iron to the cover so it's warm before applying the HTV so it can start to stick. I had to apply the front cover in three pieces and do the title twice. Also, it's really difficult to apply HTV to a rounded spine so I'll have to figure out how to set up the spine and cover before applying (since there's a certain amount of stretching the bookcloth over the spine). The spine might end up having to be regular adhesive vinyl for that. Also, it's stupidly hard to find metallic HTV in bronze.
Front matter and final thoughts: The bronze dragon was a lucky find through an extensive google search, and the runes surrounding it are 'we remember with fire and blood', a combination of House Royce and House Targaryen's words. Seems fitting four Yorick, Ella, and Aemon! The copyright page is mimicked off the source's style, including the AO3 information, the creative commons and fair use information, the guild stamp, a QR code to the AO3 page, and my own press stamp! The summary is pulled from AO3 as well.
All in all, I made this book twice and I loved it and learned so much every time.
I'm so happy with this project and I'm so excited to do the next arc! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story, Misa!
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I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.
For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.
Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.
So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.
And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.
So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?
--
Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.
Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.
Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.
Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.
--
As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.
If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.
--
But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.
The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.
--
Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?
Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.
Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.
Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.
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“Now hang on, Joseph, you’ll make it someday”
Oscar Pastry x Theatre Actor! Reader
SMAU
childhood best friends to lovers with Oscar Piastri (you dont need any musical theatre knowledge to still understand this)
ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, user3, logansargent, and 872 others
ynln: ⚠️DON'T FEED THE PLANTS⚠️ Thank you @/melbournecomminitytheatre for the opportunity to play Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors!! It was a dream!!
tagged: melbournecommunitytheatre
oscarpiastri you were wonderful love!!
ynln 🫶🫶
nicolepiastri such a beatutiful job sweetie!!
ynln thank you!!
melbournecomminitytheatre It was an honor to use your talent!!
ynln the talent you taught me?? anytime!
user1 praying you get to move to a larger theatre
user2 it is kinda sweet its the same theatre she's grown up in
logansargent incredible show!!
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ynln
liked by user3, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 923 others
ynln: closing a show means I have some free time to support my best friend 🧡🧡
tagged: oscarpiastri, mclaren
oscarpiastri you look lost in that second slide, take about 4 steps over
ynln my knight in shining armor! What would I do without you
landonorris you wore the wrong number this weekend...
ynln keep dreaming Norris
landonorris can't blame a guy for trying
mclaren come back anytime!!
user1 ah yes the second pic flirting, celebration dinner, all looks very extremely platonic to me
user2 let them be friends, its playful banter
user3 exactly boys and girls can be just friends
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oscarpiastri
liked by user5, ynln, mclaren, and 839,394 others
oscarpiastri: great performance, great audience
tagged ynln, landonorris
ynln boo 🍅🍅🍅
oscarpiastri what's wrong with this now
ynln emotionless caption
mclaren great weekend!!!
landonorris mate
oscarpiastri what now?
landonorris last slide? im hurt
user1 lmao not Y/n and Oscar both giving him shit
user 2 who's the girl??
user3 Y/n L/n, she's oscars childhood bff. She's a theatre actor who is well known in Melbourne and fairly popular on tik Tok for her music/theatre content
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oscarpiastri posted a story!
caption: no one told me looking over scripts took this much work...
replies
ynln
imagine the work I put in when get the role
why does theatre take more work than racing 😭😭
thank you for all the help tho 🫶
anytime 🫶
user1
omg does Y/n have a new role??
user2
not you announcing her new potential role
ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, user32, landonorris, and 2,921 others
ynln: I'm so excited to announce I've booked the role of the Narrator in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat!!" Thank you Her Majesty's Theatre in Melbourne for taking a chance on me!!
tagged: hermajestystheatre
oscarpiatri CONGRATS
oscarpiastri IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU
oscarpiastri YOU ARE GONNA KILL IT
ynln THANK YOU
oscarpiastri why are you on the floor
ynln twas the moment after I found out I landed the role
nicolepiastri I will be at every show!!
friend_1 moving on up!!
user1 booking my flight now
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ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargent, actor3, and 2,293 others
ynln: "Go, Go, Go Jo!!"
tagged no one
actor1 we really are "go, go, go" -ing
actor4 im so glad our break is here
ynln you can say that again!
actor2 t-1 months until opening!!
ynln so so excited!!
actor3 the second photo is so real
user1 I can't wait!!
user2 im so excited
user3 what's your fav song??
ynln probably "Go Go Go Joseph" but I love "Close Every Door To Me" despite not being in the number!
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oscarpiastri
liked by ynln, mclaren, georgerussel63, and 834,929 others
oscarpiastri: First Grand Prix and ive taken home more than a trophy 🏆
tagged mclaren, ynln
ynln IM SO PROUD
ynln SHOW THEM HOW ITS DONE OZ
ynln ITS THAT BEST FRIEND LUCK
oscarpiastri *girlfriend luck
ynln I LOVE YOU🫶
oscarpiastri I love you too🫶
nicolepiastri I'm so proud baby boy! I love you so much ❤️
oscarpiastri thank you for everything! I love you too ❤️
carlossainz55 congrats oscar 👍🏼
georgerussel63 well done mate 👏
mclaren thats out OSC 🧡
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ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, user4, friend1, and 9,923 others
ynln: HES A GP WINNER (and my bf🤭)
tagged: oscarpiastri
ynln i have so many new followers, hi new friends 👋😁
oscarpiastri surley those were not the best pics available to use
ynln ...
oscarpiastri I love you 🫶
ynln i love you too 🫶
nicolepiastri ❤️
usser1 lmao she may be dating him now, but she'll always come at him like a best friend
user2 im still not over this
user3 im crying
user4 Y/n is out here living our dream life
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ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, actor4, user72, and 9,828 others
ynln: tech week 🥴
tagged: no one
Actor1 we got this
ynln 🤞🤞
Actor2 push, push, push
ynln 👊👊
Actor3 screaming crying throwing up
ynln you can say that again
nicolepiastri remember our dinner plans! You deserve it
ynln you’re too kind ❤️❤️
user1 I am so excited!!
user2 ahhhh opening night is coming!!!
user3 poor girl- tech is the worst!
user4 I’m so ready to see the entire thing
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ynln posted 6 stories!
Captions: (1) come with me to open Joseph at Her Majesty's theatre!! (2) Warm ups and lift call!!
captions: (1) @/oscarpiastri thank you for the flowers love! They make up for you not being here (2) 5 minutes til places
captions: (1) I love you @/nicolepiastri!!! Thank you for supporting me like im your own daughter (2) so many of you came to the stage door post-show!! It is so crazy to me that that many of you wanted to take pics, get signatures, and talk to me! This community theatre girl is properly blown away! Thank you and goodnight 🫶
messages:
Oz 🧡
Congrats on a wonderful opening!! I know you killed it
Mom has not stopped gushing about it
thank you Oz
and thank you for the flowers, that was really sweet
just because im not there doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of you
I just can't wait to see it myself
me either!!
well you need sleep so goodnight
goodnight, call me tomorrow
I love you ❤️
I love you too ❤️
oscarpiastri posted a story!
caption: busy off week planned @/logansargent✈️🇦🇺
ynln posted a story!
caption: another week, another set of shows!! @/josephactor
oscarpiastri posted a story!
caption: (1) I heard something about some cute actress here idk
ynln
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargent, actor1, and 3,923 others
ynln: "I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this"
tagged: oscarpiastri
oscarpiastri good cause we're never going back
ynln ❤️❤️
logansargent you were amazing!! I was in awe
ynln thank you Logan!!
user1 im gonna cry
user2 they're soulmates your honor
user3 that second pic is adorable
user4 the costuming is incredible
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oscarpiastri
liked by ynln, user4, user5, and 832,203 others
oscarpiastri: my star
tagged ynln
ynln call us the solar system cause we both shine
landnorris that was bad even for me
ynln 😔
ynln I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oscarpiastri I love you too!!!!!!!!!!!!
nicolepiastri my babies ❤️
mclaren a star and a moon 🔭
user1 I love them so much
user2 his star ‼️
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#f1 imagines#f1#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 smau#formula 1 imagines#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri imagines#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#mclaren#mclaren x reader
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Blood is thicker than water
Peter hated being out in the fresh air. He had hated working on the farm ever since he had had to help his grandparents muck out the barn during the summer vacation. Yes, there weren't many other ways to earn money here in Lincoln now. But Nebraska wasn't Peter's future either. He was very sure of that. His future would be somewhere in New York, Singapore or London. Somewhere where the big money was. That's where he wanted to go. And that was where he belonged.
The job at the local bank wasn't that glamorous yet. But it was the starting point. Working at the cash desk, processing loan applications, it was all just a prelude to the glittering world of investment banking and hedge funds. He was hardworking, he was smart and charming. And he looked incredibly good in a suit.
When the board called him into his office, Peter saw his big moment had come. He adjusted his tie knot, took a deep breath, knocked and entered the office of his top boss. "Peter, good to see you, have a seat!" Mr. Harrison greeted him. "I hear wonderful things from you. I thought it was long overdue to meet you in person." Peter had to make an effort to stay cool. "As you probably know, the head of our corporate client department is being replaced. And even though you're actually a bit young for a position as head of department, I've been advised to consider you." Strike, thought Peter. "However, I have a, shall we say, delicate task… But if you master it successfully, I have no doubts that you are the right man for the job." A few minutes later, Peter wished he had never started at the bank.
The farm he was on his way to belonged to his uncle Cleatus. It had once been his grandparents' farm. His mother's parents' farm. Not the one where he had had the humiliating experience in the cowshed. This was his father's parents' farm. Damn it, he thought to himself. I must have manure running through my veins. I come from a clan of cows. "Anyone home?" he called out as he arrived in the yard between the stables and the house. The farm looked run-down. He hadn't been here for a long time. Suddenly he heard someone loading a shotgun. "I'm not expecting visitors!" Peter heard a harsh voice. Peter turned around and grinned as friendly as he could. "Hi Uncle Cleatus! It's me, Peter" "Peter, damn it, why are you in disguise? You look like an asshole from the bank!" Peter gulped. This was going to be fun. His uncle invited him into the large kitchen. It was dirty and untidy. Peter saw the pile of unopened post. He took a deep breath, declined the offered beer and began: "Uncle Cleatus, I'm actually not here by choice. And let me get straight to the point: I'm one of those assholes from the bank…"
"Junior!" roared Cleatus. "Say goodbye to your cousin!" Peter looked down the barrel of the shotgun. It hadn't gone as well as he had hoped when he told his uncle that the farm would have to be foreclosed. "Junior, now!". The floor shook as Junior approached the kitchen. It was beginning to stink. Slurry, sweat… And then his cousin Junior stood in front of him. A colossus! He took him in his arms and almost crushed him. "Throw him out, the asshole!" Peter lost the ground beneath his feet. Junior carried him out into the yard. And threw him into the mud. He lay in mud, cow shit and manure. Peter picked himself up and turned around. He wanted to protest. But one look in Junior's direction was enough. And he took off in the direction of the town.
Something was strange… Peter should actually feel humiliated and bad. But he was fine. The dirt on his ruined suit was drying. He was sweating in the warm air. He whistled a song. He was doing well. Of course, his uncle's farm hadn't been saved, but at least he hadn't put his own family out on the street. Shit, that wouldn't be worth a promotion on this planet either. He was beginning to develop pride in his grandparents' accomplishments working this land. They had made this country great. That made him very proud. And he was growing, without realizing it, in his suit.
He had parked his car outside on the country road so as not to get it dirty on the muddy dirt track. Peter now stripped out of his dirty suit on the road and sat in the car half naked so as not to soil the seats. The suit lay crusty, but neatly folded, in the trunk. It wasn't the end of the day yet. He had to report to the bank. He needed something to wear. And, given the way he smelled of cow shit and manure, a shower, too. Peter scratched his chin to think. His chin was scratchy. Very scratchy. And his upper arm looked kind of powerful. His cock in his boxer shorts was getting hard. Shit, what was he going to do now? Fortunately, he remembered the workwear store at the entrance to the town. He would find something to wear there. Maybe nothing from an Italian designer. But it would certainly be better than underwear.
The waitress in the store looked as if she was always serving men in their underwear. Peter mumbled that he needed something for the office. The waitress nodded understandingly and said that a guy who was built like him was certainly not the kind of person who would fit into an office. Peter didn't understand, but nodded. "Go into the changing room, I'll bring you something," said the sales assistant. Peter did as he was told. He looked in the mirror. Yes, he was a man who, in his underwear, you would probably expect to see as a construction worker or tree cutter. Arms like his didn't really fit into a shirt. "You look like you have an appointment at the bank," said the sales clerk. "You'll want to look respectable." Peter actually wanted to say that he worked at the bank. But somehow he had the feeling that wasn't true… "Yes, I have a farm to save," Peter replied. "Shit situation," replied the salesman. "Bankers are all vultures!"
When Peter arrived back at his small office, where he was a corporate account manager, he took a deep breath. Yes, he too was a vulture. But not as bad as the money-grabbing careerists up there. He was a passionate banker. He wanted to help people. His people. Before he called Mr. Harrison, he took a deep breath. His huge chest rose and fell. He reeked of sweat in his cheap polyester shirt. And after his visit to the farm, he probably had cow shit in the treads of his rough boots. But he just wasn't the type for penny loafers and Egyptian cotton shirts. He was a guy from Nebraska. Even if he did work in a bank.
The conversation with Mr. Harrison went as Peter had expected. You couldn't expect sympathy from a man like that. And Peter didn't want to work with a man like that again. He had saved hard. His dream had been to buy a house in the suburbs soon. But now there were more important things. One word followed the next in the phone call with Mr. Harrison. Until Peter plucked up his courage and told the vulture to stick his money up his ass. Peter would pay off his uncle's debts. And then turn his back on the bank. He threw his tie in the garbage can. And unbuttoned his shirt. Free! Free at last!
Junior was quite a challenge. His cousin was a few weeks older than him. And he hadn't been softened up by working in the city. But Pete had been living on the farm for a few weeks now and, thanks to his cooperation, there was a silver lining. The auction was off the table. Everything would be fine. And at the next wrestling match in the cowshed, Junior would lose and Pete would win. And the winner would get his cock sucked by the loser. Life on the farm was wonderful!
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●Miss you●
Daryl Dixon X fem.Reader
Era: Farm (S2)
Summary: The group rests at Hershel's farm and Daryl searches for Sophia all day. You, his girlfriend, think it's great that he cares so much about the little girl, but you also want a little attention from him.
Warnings: +18 CONTENT, angst, fingering, missionary, soft sex, soft Daryl, unprotected sex
Words: 3k
Masterlist!
____________________________
PoV (Y/N):
Our group is currently living at Hershel's farm until we find Sophia again and Carl is back on his feet. Daryl, my boyfriend, looks for the little girl every day. He leaves early in the morning and doesn't come back until late in the evening. I'm incredibly happy that he cares so much for Sophia and wants to bring her back to her mother, but sometimes I feel a certain emptiness. I also work all day, but I'm usually so tired that I don't even notice that Daryl comes into our tent and lies down next to me. It makes me sad, but also proud to have such a warm-hearted boyfriend. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he cares a lot about Sophia and Carol and that's exactly what makes me sad.
And today is no different. I'm already lying awake in the tent, Daryl is still sleeping. I can hear his quiet breathing, which is slow and rhythmic. He's snuggled up to me, my back is pressed tightly against his chest. Since we've been together for many years, he's also okay with me being able to see his upper body. Since it's very warm now, in the next few days, we mostly sleep in just our underwear, sometimes I ask him for a flannel. Daryl is wearing his sweatpants, though, in case he hears someone approaching our tent. I sigh quietly, which immediately provokes a reaction from my boyfriend.
He starts kissing my shoulder and caresses my sides. "Mornin'…" He murmured softly against my skin. A smile automatically creeps onto my lips when I hear his tired, deep and rough voice. At the same time, a tingling sensation spreads between my legs. "Morning… How did you sleep?" "Good… wha' abou' ya?" I just nod slightly before turning around in his arms.
His blue eyes sparkle briefly and they look at me full of love. God, I love it when he looks at me like that, no matter what the situation is, he always looks at me like that. Full of love, full of gentleness, like after our first kiss. He has looked at me like that ever since I confessed my love to him and he returned it. "I need ta go now…" His voice pulls me back to the harsh reality and I bite my tongue hard so as not to look at him disappointedly. "Okay… don't you wanna eat something first?" I asked, hoping that we could at least spend the breakfast together. But I should know my boyfriend better by now, because he shakes his head and kisses my forehead gently. "Na… 'll eat later…" Later. So not until the night, when he comes back.
But I don't want to argue with him. So I just nod and kiss him gently. "Okay…" And after I say that, he sits up and stretches briefly. Then he puts on jeans and a sleeveless flannel. His crossbow is always next to us in case he needs it. He quickly grabs it before giving me a kiss and then going out. "Be careful…" But he has already left the tent before I have even finished the sentence. Sighing, I fall back into the tent bed, my gaze directed upwards.
<Time Skip>
All day I've been helping Lori and Carol wash and hang the laundry. I always sigh inwardly when I wash or hang up Daryl's clothes. "Is everything right, dear?" I heard Carol ask. I can hear clear concern in her voice and I flinch. I look at her before putting on a fake smile and nodding. I don't want to tell her that it bothers me that Daryl is looking for Sophia all the time. She is her daughter after all. "I'm good… just tired, Daryl can snore quite loudly." I then lie and laugh. Carol smiles amusedly before nodding and turning back to the laundry.
"Please tell him he doesn't have to do that." The worried mother suddenly says. Confused, I look at her as she quietly continues washing the clothes. "What do you mean?" Carol lets her shoulders sag before smiling sadly at me. "You and Daryl aren't spending time together anymore, it's not healthy for your relationship.." I flinch, caught, before looking at her sadly and shaking my head. "No… We've been together for many years now, we can handle it." I then assure her. It's not even a lie, our relationship is not suffering from the long period of no contact. It was worse back then because Daryl was always arguing with his father, but now we're both used to it.
Carol looks at me uncertainly for a moment before nodding. "You should still spend time together again." She then says and turns back to the laundry. I just stay quiet, what should I say? I don't know. But inside I'm already thinking about the conversation, how I could confront Daryl about it. I was lost in thought all day, I didn't even eat anything. "(Y/N), you should eat something." Lori just admonishes me, with a stern look. I look up at her before looking at my plate, which is still full.
"It's okay… I'll eat later with Daryl." I say and avoid her gaze again. I can still feel him on me, but I continue to ignore her.
<Time Skip>
As the sun sets, I say goodbye to the group and slowly walk towards Daryl and my tent. We set up our tent a little further away, Daryl feels more comfortable that way, so I didn't say anything against it. Incredibly, I feel much more comfortable with Daryl than when I'm in the group without him. So as I slowly walk towards the tent, I look around a bit, hoping to see Daryl, but my hopes are not fulfilled.
In the tent, I drop to my knees and grab one of Daryl's flannels. I slowly take off my clothes until I'm only in my underwear, but I also take off my bra. When I look down, I notice that I haven't shaved in a long time. Uncertainly, I run my fingers over my legs and over my covered pussy. Sighing, I let my shoulders sag, maybe I shouldn't spend much time with Daryl today, I'm not as well-groomed as I was before the apocalypse. "Why ´re ya sighin´ like tha´?" I suddenly heard a tired voice behind me.
Immediately, out of reflex, I press his flannel against my chest to cover my breasts and I turn to Daryl. He looks tired and has some dirt on his face and clothes. It will be fun to clean that up tomorrow. "Hey… sorry, it was just… a hard day, I guess…" I mumble quietly and look down again. Daryl just hums quietly before coming in and closing the tent door. He puts his crossbow back next to our tent bed before taking off his clothes. I just watch him quietly before speaking quietly. "Do you miss me…?" My voice was very quiet, I almost thought he hadn't heard me, but his body twitches. The archer immediately looks at me, his expression confused. "Wha´ do ya mean? Yar here."
Sometimes I could beat myself inside. Daryl isn't stupid, he's very intelligent, but sometimes he's really short-tempered. Sighing quietly, I shake my head and press his fannel closer to my chest. "No, I mean… do you even miss me…? While you're searching for Sophia?" I ask again, but this time much more clearly. Daryl seemed to understand now, but he doesn't look me in the eyes, but at my bare legs. "´f course I do… why shouldn't I?" A voice screamed in my head, forcing me to say something mean. But I don't want to.
"… it doesn't matter… you're tired, you should sleep…" I whisper quietly before I turn around and put on his flannel. But before the fabric can slide completely down my body, I feel his rough hands on my hips. I gasp briefly because of his warm, rough hand. He kneels behind me and kisses my head gently. "Is it 'cause I'm awa' all day?" He then asks me quietly, in a gentle and loving tone. My chest tightens and I feel like I could start to cry. I nod slightly while swallowing hard. "Yeah…"
Daryl stays quiet for a moment, probably now realizing how much it hurts me that he leaves early every day and doesn't come back until late in the evening. "'m sorry…" "Don't apologize…" I don't want him to feel bad. It's not his fault that Sophia is gone and he wasn't forced to look for her. He's doing it because he doesn't want to see Carol so depressed anymore. None of us wants that. "'ll make it up ta ya…" And with these words he gently pulls the flannel back up until he has completely taken it off me.
His hands caress my skin very gently, first my stomach, then my sides and then he reaches my breasts. I immediately inhale sharply as he reaches around and massages them, his fingers twirling my nipples slightly. I close my eyes and lean closer to him so that my bare back presses against his bare, strong chest. Daryl's lips wander over my neck, sometimes gently nibbling or licking my skin.
"Daryl…" "I gotcha…" His voice gives me a pleasant shiver and I straighten my back more and more. As soon as Daryl decides that he has paid enough attention to my breasts, his hands wander back down until he places them flat on my abdomen. Out of reflex I grab his wrist. "Wha'?" "I'm… not shaved…" I murmur quietly and blush heavily.
Daryl hisses quietly before he frees himself from my grip and his fingers go under my panties. "Don' care… ya think I'm shaved?" I stay quiet for a moment before shaking my head. "Righ'… and I don' care if yar shaved or no'…" Daryl's words make my heart beat faster and I nod slightly. I slowly let my hands fall and I gasp quietly as his rough fingers stroke my clit. Breathing heavily, I close my eyes, lean my head against his shoulder and Daryl massages my clit in circular movements. I feel myself getting wetter and wetter and my pussy gets tighter in the hope of getting some kind of friction. "D-daryl…" Before I can say anything else, Daryl pulls his hand out of my panties and gently pushes me to the ground so that I'm lying on my back.
He climbs over me skillfully, his lips decorating my skin with kisses again. He goes further down until he gently bites into the fabric of my panties. I look down at him, his blue eyes meet mine immediately as he pulls my panties down until my pussy is completely free. "So wet…" I hear him growl softly and deeply. Before I can say anything, he presses a loving but intense kiss on my clit. I let myself fall, panting, his skillful tongue now playing with my clit. It's been so long since Daryl and I have been intimate, we never felt it necessary, but now it feels really good. I am incredibly sensitive, every one of his touches makes me whimper or moan.
"Yar so sensitive, baby~" He growls quietly, his hot breath blowing against my entrance. His tongue gently massages my clit, he has placed my thighs on my shoulder. Daryl's rough hands gently stroke my thighs and a cold shiver runs down my back. After just a few seconds, which felt like hours to me, he lets his tongue enter my pussy. I immediately grab his dark blonde hair firmly to press him closer to my throbbing cunt. Growling, Daryl lets me do this, his tongue moving slowly inside me. "I've missed ya~…" These words make me whimper loudly and my heart beat faster. I wouldn't have thought that Daryl would show me that he misses me like this, but I enjoy every second.
"I've missed you too~…" I whisper quietly, my hands wandering to my breasts to massage them. I gently swirl my sensitive nipples, which makes me arch my back. Even though I'm feeling and getting so much from Daryl, it's still not enough. I want his cock inside me. "Daryl~…! Please~…" The archer seems to understand my pleading words, because the next moment he pulls his tongue out of me. He kisses my clit briefly again before crawling back up to me, his lips kissing every inch of my skin. He stops briefly at my breasts to kiss both nipples again. "Ya wan' it this badly~?" His question just makes me nod quickly and Daryl grin slightly.
He quickly pulls down his boxer shorts and his erect cock immediately jumps against his abdomen. As he had already said, he is not shaved. But his pubic hair has never bothered me, nor has the hair on his chest. It has a certain appeal to him, which makes my insides tingle with excitement. "Ya see~? Not shaved~…" He gently takes my hand and he lies down on his chest. I can feel his light hair on my fingertips and I can feel his rapid heartbeat under my entire hand. My cheeks blush slightly as I let my hand wander further down to his belly button. Under his belly button where he also has hair. Swallowing hard, I look up at him before nodding and lying down again. I spread my legs wide pleadingly, I can feel my arousal on my inner thighs.
Daryl stares at my pussy for a while, his hand pumping up and down his shaft. His intense blue eyes are staring an another hole between my legs and goosebumps are spreading across my skin. "Please Daryl~… make love to me~" And I don't have to tell him twice. Without hesitation, he bends down so that he is lying on top of me. He supports himself with one arm next to my head while his other hand positions him at my entrance. "Ya ready, baby~?" Daryl asks me, his eyes looking deep into mine. I immediately wrap my arms around his neck and nod quickly. "Yes~…! Please~…" After saying this, Daryl slowly pressed his pelvis against mine so that his tip is now penetrating me. Immediately I grab his hair tightly, my eyes widen and I suppress my voice as best I can. I wrap my legs tightly around Daryl's waist to prevent him from escaping. Even though he probably didn't plan it anyway. "Oh fuck~… yar so tigh~…" "Daryl~…! God, I've missed that~…!"
Daryl has pressed his face into my shoulder, his rapid breathing hits my skin as he presses his pelvis ever closer to mine. Now he supports himself with both arms, which he has placed next to my head. When our skin touches, we both breathe out loudly. The feeling of being stretched out, of being filled, feels so good. I never thought I would miss sex so much. But now I have that feeling again. Daryl is deep inside me and I lightly dig my fingers into his shoulders. Since we haven't had sex in a long time, I have to be very tight now and Daryl confirms my thoughts. He breathes fast and heavily, like a bull. But it's not strenuous breathing, it's pleasurable breathing, as if he missed it as much as I did.
Daryl slowly raises his head so that we look deep into each other's eyes and at the same moment he pulls his hips back to thrust into me again. He repeats this process over and over again, our eye contact never breaking for a second. His hips keep thrusting against mine. His thrusts are intense and hot, but also full of love and affection. Sometimes he moves a little faster, but not fast enough to make me scream. "Daryl~…" I moan his name over and over again. Even though he moves so slowly, this sex feels so good. He doesn't fuck me like before, no, he makes love to me. Real love. Of course I felt love in the sex before, but our lust always came first. Now Daryl wants to make me feel all of his love and affection and fuck it feels good.
My legs are wrapped tightly around his hips, my heels press lightly against his ass. Daryl's movements become a little faster and he puts his forehead against mine. That makes me close my eyes and concentrate more on the fullness. "So good~…" I moan softly against his lips. Daryl just growls softly before covering my neck with kisses. He sucks on my skin a few times, creating light marks that will last until tomorrow. "I love this tigh´ pussy~…" These words make my pussy flutter and it contracts more tightly around his shaft. My insides suck greedily on his cock, as if my body never wants to let him go again. "Baby~… I'm gonna cum~…" Daryl warns me, his voice sounds much deeper. A pressure is building up inside me too and I know that I will soon reach my long-awaited orgasm too. “Me too~… cum inside me, please~…!” “Ya sure~?” I can sense a certain uncertainty in his voice, but I nod immediately.
I look pleadingly into his eyes. "Yes~…! Please, cum inside me~…" Daryl nods just slightly before pressing his lips firmly against mine. We moan loudly against each other's lips as we both reach to our orgasm. Daryl presses his hips firmly against mine as his sperm flows into me and I arch my back strongly as my insides contract even more around Daryl. Breathing heavily, we hold each other tight until we have recovered from our orgasms. Daryl slowly lifts his head to gently kiss my lips. "I love ya…" "I love you too… we should get some sleep…" Daryl nods just slightly before pulling out of me and taking one of his flannels. He puts it under me so that our juices flow onto it and I sigh quietly inside because I can wash it out later. But what wouldn't you do for a passionate night with your boyfriend?
#daryl#daryl dixon#daryl twd#twd daryl#the walking dead daryl#twd#twd daryl dixon#daryl dixon twd#the walking dead#daryl dixon smut#daryl dixion x reader
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so something really awesome just happened in my life.
some of y'all might know i've been working on a Big Writing Project for the past 9 months and that's the reason i've been pretty inactive posting fics and whatnot.
this Big Writing Project has been the most difficult, most vulnerable thing i've ever written. it is also the best thing i've ever written. (that used to be slippery slopes. now it is this.) i am so incredibly proud of this piece and the work i put in to create it.
i just won an award for my Big Writing Project. and with that award comes a publication opportunity.
this award and opportunity is something i've wanted for years. i'm still in shock that it's actually happened. i've never felt so supported or recognized for my original fiction before and i'm overflowing with gratitude and joy.
the career path of a writer is never easy. especially now. but to everyone who's supported my fic writing, who's commented about how i should be a professional writer, i wanted you to know—i'm doing it.
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