#I'm in a glass case of emotion

[xhollowfaerie]

Dread of the Wolf

a/n: a little exploration into Rook's mind after picking to save Treviso as a Shadow Dragon. As always, you can find my Rookanis (Spookanis?) fanfic on ao3!

Warnings: endgame spoilers, slight body horror, angst)

-

“Ir abelas” Solas spoke gravely as he approached Rook.

Kore had been quiet since Minrathous, once she had stopped sobbing. Too quiet.

Her face was tight with dry tears. Her makeup was a smeared mess, eyes swollen. Passed out in the infirmary, she found herself in the Fade, watching the same memories replay over and over, like a broken record.

Her face lit up, for the very first time.

“Is that a smile?” Viper teased, and her sunken eye widened for a moment. A faint wave of color crept over the drained features of her face. “... smile” she repeated, voice as monotone as ever.

“That's right. It suits you. I hope I’ll get to see it again.”

“Show Viper? Smile. I'll try” she croaked.

“No, no, it's not an order. Not something you do consciously. You smiled just now because I called that templar a bumbling idiot.” “I'm right here, you know” Tarquin called from outside the room.

Kore’s chapped lips curled again. She didn't understand. She didn't do it on purpose. Her face twisted in confusion before relaxing. It was strange. But… it wasn't bad. 

“I like this” she voiced. Viper's eyes softened.

“Good. I like it, too.”

“I don't like this, Ash!” Rook cried as she buried her face in her knees. She didn't know eyes could sting in the Fade. 

“He is alive” Solas tried to console her.

“Blighted!” She screamed at him, her eyes lighting up as the air around her sparked with electricity. 

“MY fault. My fault… they're right! It’s all… my…!”

As indifferent and calculating as the Dread Wolf strived to be towards his pawn, his gaze lowered as she wailed. It hurt to listen to.

It destroyed him to know the truth.

The Blight…

It wasn’t her fault. It was his. 

Her agony was his responsibility. Not only was she Elven, but she had been a slave. And now, she was his only hope.

He had long since given up on ever getting close to someone again. 

Not after her .

He couldn't consider Rook a friend. And although her delusion about her past was not directly his doing, it was still his burden.

He had broken her before they ever even met. By putting up the Veil. By letting mortal whims taint his resolve.

That was exactly why he had to use her. To create a better world, for her , for Rook, and for every other elf who had ever drawn breath. No matter what it takes.

She grasped the dirt, scraped it with her nails. Her voice was growing hoarse from strain, her tears pooling underneath her tangled hair, dripping off the tip of her nose. Some of the salt got inhaled back in through her nostrils, stinging. Her breaths hitched, worse and worse, before she clutched her chest. 

“I killed him.”

The dread built up, coursing through her veins like poison. She was freezing. Somewhere in the depths of her memory, she recalled. Elven corpses, laying still and cold.

“I killed him. I-I killed Ash” she choked, grasping her head in horror.

“Neve will never forgive me. NEVER! She hates me! She hates me so much . She’s right! It should’ve been me instead. I should’ve been blighted instead. I doomed Minrathous. I killed so many. Tarquin’s right! I blight everything. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me! ”

Rook’s words were slurred, hectic. Her stomach was turning itself inside out, spilling searing acid into her throat. But nothing could compare to Ashur’s agony. 

“I’ll get them all killed. Every last one. Every single one. All of them. Dead! I killed them. I killed them, my friends, my everything! I killed them all .”

Kore frantically whispered their names, as if to not forget them. As if they were already dead. When she mentioned Varric, Solas clenched his teeth, remaining still and silent.

“Kill me, please, kill me instead. I’ll give anything. Trade my… freedom? For them… Yes, take it. For them. Anything, anything for them. Please… NO! NO, I KILLED THEM! I PROMISED I’D KEEP THEM SAFE! LUCANIS! Lucanis, no, no, no, please, please, PLEASE! Please, not Lucanis, not Spite. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Anything, but not Lucanis, not Spite… ”

Her panic began to melt into despondent lament. Her cries lowered and broke into a rhythmic ballad of sobs. She planted her head into the dirt, painfully kneading her fingers into her hair, desperately tugging it from her skull. Her body rocked in place, subconsciously aching for any shred of solace.

“ No, no, no, no, no, My Crow, not My Crow… I never told you… I should have told you… Spite, Lucanis… Ma vhenan… Ar lath ma, Vhenan… ”

Solas whipped his head away. He couldn’t watch. Those words burnt a hole right through his chest.

He couldn’t help her. What could he possibly say? What were his options? He thought to reason with her through Varric’s guise, but her state was so deplorable, he felt much too guilty to further intrude her mind.

A soft hand landed on the Wolf’s shoulder. He almost fell apart himself at the familiar touch.

‘You could talk to her.’

Elven words ghosted over his lips, too, but remained just that. A ghost.

Kore collapsed into a pit of serpents; they latched onto her, pumping her with venom, coiling tightly around her limbs. She wanted to scream, but she could no longer breathe. She couldn’t see. She just tasted her own bile, mucus and tears. Felt the fangs dig into her skin. Hearing hazy. Ears ringing. Scarred fingers tried reaching out to the sickly shaded sky, green eye trembling. It was too late. They completely enveloped her, choking her out, filling her lungs.

They were eating her alive.

Just like in Minrathous.

She had gathered a crowd of predators, swarming above them. 

Hungry. 

She was so open. So inviting. So vulnerable.

Her mind was held together by a thread - no, a black feather that was being ripped to pieces.

She started humming, out of tune, gurgling and nearly suffocating every few words. The demons grew in number and stalked closer.

Many, Solas recognized. Hurt. Shame. 

He thought it best to not intervene. He didn’t want to risk facing his own worst demon. The one that had been hunting him so eagerly, for so long.

“Hahren, na melana sahlin,

Regret.

Emma… ir abelas…

Souver'inan isala haaaamin,

Vhenan hiiim dor'felas…

In uthenera… na… revas…”

(Elder, your time has come,

Now… I am filled with sorrow…

Weary eyes need resting,

Heart has become grey and slow…

In waking sleep… is… freedom…)

The Elven eulogy.

He remembered the first time he had heard any Elven roll off of… her tongue. The warmth it had sent through him. 

The poem filled him with nothing but sorrow.

Rook was an important piece on his board. Her life was still useful to him.

He could hear her laugh at him. Lovingly.

‘You don’t always need to justify everything, you know.’

Ever since entering the prison, her voice had followed him.

One of the demons launched at Rook, drooling.

“ Varas! ” (Leave!)

The Dread Wolf knelt down next to her, shielding her body as his eyes began to glow. A brief flash followed before specks of dust floated around them peacefully.

“They are gone” he tried to tell her, but she was humming still.

With a huff, Solas pulled her out of the pit, knocking away any lingering snakes off her body.

“Ma ghilana mir din'an… ma ghilana… mir din'an…” (Guide me into death, guide me… into death...)

“Da’len. Listen to me. You are stronger than this pain. You have defied all odds. Risen above every expectation. You have inspired many, and saved countless more, at the risk of that which you held dear. Had I been given the choice of who to aid me in sealing away the tyrants and freeing the Elven people, I couldn’t have been more sure that it had to be you.”

She laid limp in his arms, lolling her head to the side as she continued mumbling incoherently, and he clicked his tongue in frustration.

“Being a leader means accepting sacrifice! It means doing whatever you must , whatever the cost!”

‘Solas. Gentle.’

Yes. Of course.

Abelas .

“Being… a true leader means… having those who believe in you. Having something to protect… And…”

His eyes dimmed.

“It means keeping them close. Relying on them. It is a privilege not many have the fortune of knowing.”

Solas’s hands trembled as he held the frail mage. His voice continued echoing through the emptiness of the Fade around them.

“You did well. Better than anyone could have, in your position. It was a difficult choice. Yet you persevere. Your companions are proud of you. As am I.”

Rook’s eyes slowly peered up at him.

“...Varric?”

His eyes widened in horror. He didn’t dare to speak.

But someone else did.

“You got this, kid. Now, go on, they’re worried sick about you. You can make things right, with Neve, with the Dragons. You’re not someone they can hate so easily.”

She had missed that hearty chuckle.

“I… I know… you’re right… I… I miss them terribly… I'm so sorry…”

“They miss you too, Rook. So show them. They all wanna help. And they know you do, too. Go kick some Ancient Elven ass for me, will ya?”

Solas helped Rook up wordlessly. When he glanced at her again, she had taken the form of a scrawny Elven child, beaming up at them.

“Okay! I’ll go do that! Thank you, Mister Varric!” 

The dwarf ruffled her hair and watched her run off. 

The Dread Wolf. What a fitting name. He would forever feel alone. Starving.

Varric nudged him, and little Rook turned around to wave towards both of them.

“Thank you, too, Mister Solas! You look scary, but you’re so nice!”

A swarm of fog floated over to Kore, taking the shape of the Viper. He placed his hat on her head and propped her up on his shoulder.

Little Rook giggled happily. 

Solas’s long, thin fingers clenched behind his back. 

“Lighten up, Chuckles. Look on the bright side! She doesn’t even know I’m dead yet.”

He deserved this punishment. He should be able to take it.

[olliequeensrecedinghairline]

Something about Barbie I really love is how perfect the casting was (I'll only go over a couple)

Margot Robbie was absolutely impeccable, hit all the right moments, and while I loved the joke where she said she's not pretty enough to be Barbie, with the narrator responding that "casting Margot Robbie might not be the best choice to convey this point" I feel like there's something deeper behind that

It's a long held stereotype in Hollywood that actresses are past their prime once they hit 30, they are no longer starlets and abandoned, with Margot Robbie being 33 she's right at the point that she would be considered too old

Greta Gerwig said her first and most deliberate casting was Ryan Gosling, which seemed to upset a lot of people, saying he was too old, but with both main characters going through existential crisis it makes sense for a man in his 40s, especially since he plays the classic Ken, one of the oldest models

I'm very happy my girlfriend was there to explain some history to me in how there have not been many Asian Ken's out there and would be a fairly recent addition, so using Simu Liu, who is the new Hollywood it boy, as the main opposition to the aging Kens insecurity about Barbie's interest in other Kens was very clever

As a mother America Ferrera has personal experience that she brings to the role that feels so personal, plus with her biggest role as Ugly Betty, the main character of a show about fashion and challenging traditional beauty norms is very fitting

(plus the fact that her movie husband is her real life husband was a nice touch)

Will Ferrell

[mercymaker]

bro, writing and making edits about a scene is not enough.. i need to hire paid actors to cosplay my blorbos and act out the scenes on repeat in my livingroom

[alraedesigns]

"I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!" - ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY (2004)

watercolor and ink, 4"x5"

[impishtubist]

Hello I'm back to being a Doctor Who blog, come tell me all your thoughts.

[waywardsculs-a2]

I AM BEING TORN BETWEEN LUCI/LILI FEELS AND HUSK/ANGEL FEELS AND THIS IS FUCKING GLORIOUS also don't be surprised if you see eve making out with lilith soon it's just two gals bein gals ;)

[discountreactionimagewarehouse]

[unashamedly-ineffable]

Me after watching the worldwide best streamed comedy:

Ineffably amusing indeed! Cheers to Good Omens Season 2 debuting as the #1 Comedy on Prime Video! @neil-gaiman

[the-hwaelweg]

I thought Unpacking was going to be a nice little organization game; I didn't realize I was going to be overcome with emotion about these little insights into the player character's life as they grow up 😭

[pikahlua]

Fourteen Days of MHA: Day 3

Light Fades to Rain

Okay, let's gush. Here are my feelings about the anime adaptation of chapters 360-362: season 7 episode 11. This will quickly devolve from eloquent discussion to raging madness I promise.

The opening five minutes are the weakest part of the episode. This is the only section I will lodge any complaints about, and honestly they're not that serious.

The sadomasochism got toned down :P

I kind of expected it, and honestly I get why. Even though it was scaled back, the scene was effective enough for most viewers because there's just something about seeing it animated that makes it feel visceral anyways. The detail was always going to be reduced in the art when adapted to animation, and a lot of that art could've looked really bad without the necessary detail.

But it wouldn't be on brand for me if I didn't mention that it bummed me out lol.

The only other thing I can complain about isn't even an issue with the episode, it's an error in the subtitles.

"...you're just goldfish poop next to All For One."

a) It should be "One For All," not "All For One."

b) I don't think they should have kept it as "goldfish poop." Sorry to any language purists out there, but the idiomatic meaning of this phrase in Japanese will not get picked up by an English-speaking audience--and that idiom is important. It has an impact on how Katsuki behaves going forward. I think the subtitles should have changed that to something like "a minnow in One For All's wake" or "a tag-along weakling," ANYTHING to get the point across that Tomura is trying to inflict psychological damage by telling Katsuki he'll never amount to anything on the level of One For All. That message informs the rest of the episode!

Now, if that's the only complaint I have about this whole episode--a slightly too-fast-paced-under-detailed opening scene and a bad subtitle--then I'm a happy camper. And indeed that is the only complaint I have.

This episode is a masterpiece of adaptation.

The focus on the Big Three is so good because it does such a good job of masking where the episode is going but it's perfectly in-theme because of the parallels the three of them have with Izuku and Katsuki. IT JUST WORKS MAN. I LOVE IT.

The music that plays when Katsuki mutters is an excellent choice, though I wish they could have done something to hammer the point home more that he was indeed muttering and analyzing like Izuku does. Maybe the little "mutter" text would've been dissonant in tone lol but still I wish there was a way they could've done it. I do think the point does come across in the end still, but it's just more impactful when you get to see the little "mutter" text come full circle. Yeah yeah, manga vs anime and all that.

I didn't expect the tone they went with for Jeanist's reaction to Katsuki's muttering, but it was just different not like bad or anything. I kinda liked the whole "what the fuuuuck" vibe of it. I was thinking more like "Holy shit, I'm a proud dad" tone but this works XD

Jeanist is such a dad.

HE SPARKLE. KATSUKI, HE SPARKLE. IT SO PRETTY. AT LAST.

The animators were SOOOO trying to hide the twist this episode from the anime-only viewers, they didn't even put Katsuki on the commercial bumpers, they didn't want to SPOIL THE SURPRISE. IT'S SO GOOD.

Lost it at Tenko's freak out (damn voice actor wow) and Mirio's "g-gomen." I need the dub of this scene so bad.

JEANIST MY FIRST LOVE, DAD-ING SO HARD ALL OVER THIS EPISODE LOOK AT HIM GO.

Nejire is adorable as hell and everyone in MHA is so easily read as autistic it's remarkable actually.

They really put the typography behind the plasma cannon they actually did that.

UNF THAT PIANO. THE PIANO GOES OFF ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS EPISODE, DAMN.

Also good job on making the plasma cannon blast look small and precise to contrast Katsuki's attack last episode, because Katsuki definitely has more firepower but Tamaki has the finesse to concentrate the attack for a sustained period.

BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS

Everything from BOOTS on is perfection I know you all already know that.

Jeanist's voice acting is underappreciated, I really loved him this episode.

The little special sound effect for his clusters now!!! IT MAKES ME SO EXCITED. I CAN'T WAIT TO SUPERIMPOSE IT OVER KATAMARI DAMACY NEXT SEASON

Present Mic with the La Brava's-Love-quirk soft narration omg [chef's kiss]

OKAMOTO. OKAMOTO OH MY GOD. YOU GIVING ME FEELINGS WITH YOUR VOICE CRACKS I CAN'T SLEEP

The slo-mo shots are so pretty ;_;

THEY GAVE US MORE KUDOU TOO AND IT WAS SO GOOD, THE CONNECTION WAS DRAWN SO WELL BETWEEN HIM AND KATSUKI I AM LOVING IT SO MUCH. IT ALSO HELPS THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING AUDIENCE UNDERSTAND THIS IS DEFINITELY THE AFO-DOMINANT PERSONALITY NOT TOMURA.

Even if this series ends without explaining it, I'm going to come up with my own explanation for that vestige world shit. That cannot just be symbolic afterlife bullcrap. IT MEANS SOMETHING.

He's just a boy ;_; He's just a baby boyyyyyy

GIVE HIM HIS AUTOGRAPH BY THE END OF THIS SERIES SO HELP ME--

he spin thru the air like a meme

It's time for Horikoshi's favorite character: Bakucorpse!

You wanted the blue sky gone, but at what cost?

YES I'M LOVING THE VIBE FROM THE THUNDER SOUND

Oh...oh it hurts a lot to see in color, oh he's so pale...ohhhh no

THAT ENDING SONG? NOW? HOW DARE.

That horrifying feeling of emptiness at the end :)

The joy of watching others cry over this 👀

Katsuki is the actual symbol of hope I don't care what anyone says. All hope of victory is lost with his death and the only chance of winning comes from reviving him with the literal power of hopes and prayers and wishes. He is Hope Incarnate. A very Sassy (Soft Precious) Hope Incarnate.

[xhollowfaerie]

celebrating my return to my roots (after like, a literal decade) with THESE CRAZY DAV SCREENSHOTS?! I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAUGHT THEM LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH!!!!

[cozza-frenzy]

THIS POST HAS COME BACK TO HAUNT ME. TRULY, THIS WAS THE MOST HALLOWEEN OF SPECIALS

What I love the most about the TADC fandom (or what I've seen of it) is how there's a subsection of people just, kind of run with the idea of hope being a persistent thing. Yes, we might as well be trapped here forever. No we can't remember our old lives, names, or bodies. But what if people are, at their core, actually good? What if an AI isn't evil and stupid, but well-meaning and uninformed? What if we found a way to make our hopeless situation a little less unbearable? We might not ever get out, but what if we made the most of what we have? What if we realized that even if we've lost everything, we still had each other? What if hope could still break through the cracks like a persistent weed, even in this digital hellscape? What if after what happened to Kaufmo, it was collectively decided there should be no more after him - that no matter what, they can't afford to lose anybody else to despair? Something to think about, I guess; how when some people are presented with an inescapable scenario, they think about how to plant flowers that bloom in the dark

[lvllns]

after almost 70 hours, i have finished veilguard. i loved it so much.

[eddiediaaz]

last week the person i'm seeing was like "it usually takes me a lil while to do sleepovers with partners because i feel the most vulnerable when i sleep" and of course that's okay i can definitely respect that, we do live super close to each other anyway. but last night after we were in bed together for the first time they were like "i know i said i'm not usually into it but with you i feel comfortable and i'd love if you could stay tonight."🥺 i couldn't tho, had to go home to feed my cats lol, and also work in the morning i guess. but!!! they just asked me again if i wanna sleep over on saturday after both our respective plans, and then we can get breakfast together sunday 😭 wtf!!! wtffff!!!!

[pure-jeff-ward]

Final dump! As much as it saddens me to leave, I shall look back at these past few months with sweet fondness. I rarely stan celebs but when I do I go HARD as you can already tell XD

Anyway, here’s Jeff going through the stages of grief at my departure!

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Biggest thank you to pure-jeff-ward blog for not just being one of the OG Wardians (5 years and counting!) but also providing a cool, safe space for us clownfuckers/lemonfuckers and being the arbiter of all things Jeff Ward!

Au revoir! Until we meet again! ❤️

what about my five stages of grief??? I'm not at the end one for suuuure (probably stuck on stage one tbh) 😭😭😭 thank yoooou so much @buggysamawaifu because this has been the best few months of my blog, thanks to you, your asks, your wonderful fountain of knowledge about Jeff and you helping spread the Jeff love to alllll of my followers!!!

come back soooooon!!! we will miss yoooou!!! I'll be right here waiting with more Jeff content for you to enjoy and to get more from you to share as well!!! teamwork is the dreamwork!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[satellitewar-archived]

what does "okay" mean in this context? what is it meant to explain? does a simple okay embody everything din needs to express, or is the word just not enough for what he needs it for? she's touching his bare hand as they share brief words, as bianca climbs out of the messy haze they shared against the wall (something about her ginger touch makes it clear she's reveling in it, scouring for any sliver of skin on skin to make it real, to pull him closer), and she wants to know if he's okay.

will he be? he doesn't know. din watches her let go of his hand, and he regrets it immediately. going against every scream inside his head, he seeks the touch again. he folds his hand with hers. for that small moment in time when his gloves are off, he's lacing their fingers and giving them a squeeze. it's tiny, subtle... maybe bianca might miss it if she's focused elsewhere. but it's there — it's the deepest sign of life the mandalorian can offer her surface-level expectations.

"i need time." it comes with painful honesty. din needs space to process what just happened... though he still maintains hold of her hand, if just for a minute. "and we have... a lot to discuss." but he doesn't want her to leave. that's the crux of the issue; how is he meant to say words like that from behind a heavy mask? more silence. if @belayadeath looks closely, she'll see his throat bob beneath the fabric of his undershirt. "you can stay for a while." there it is. finally, the truth comes ripped from his throat. "i'm not asking you to leave." i don't want you to. please stay.

his touch, the rag curled in between naked fingers, the simplest brush of din's skin against her face was electrifying enough. she knows of the code, what he gambles just shedding a single piece of clothing like this -- she never asked it of him, never made him go against the creed but it wasn't at all unwelcome. it was a thought she'd had to get used to at first, to never be able to see his face, to cup it between her own two hands or to even feel his lips on her skin just once. and despite all of that; somehow, she finds herself just as frazzled as she would have had the situation been different. mayhaps it's because she's starved of touch: of care and comfort, the way she's been treated her whole life, for as long as she remembers.

“  yea... i'm alright.  ” she insisted, though her voice was low and shaky. even now, after sharing a moment so intimate as before, bianca found herself out of her depths. and she almost didn't realize it when her hand climbed up to reach for din's holding the rag, fingers curl around the width of his four and their hands slowly drop. bianca's explored her desires like this before, though it was never something she craved much until now. until him. just holding his hand now, she can barely find it in herself to let go, the simple feel of his warmth, blood pulsing into his hand enough to make her wanna claim him for an eternity. “  i'm okay, just had a moment, is all.  ” collecting myself, rediscovering and re - evaluating every decision of her life up until this moment. her hand releases din's, eventually, slowly, retracting back into her shell.

            “  are you okay?  ”