#I'm hoping that it doesn't sound like Tim and Talon are in love

[thechosenferret]

The Myth of the Tom God

(Since I’ve been kinda busy (and lazy) this week, here’s a random story that we had to do in english class so here you go that I’m quite proud of.. Credit to @watermelani and @noonelikesnoah for helping with a few ideas of this work of not-quite-art. Also I swear I didn’t misspell Earth, you can thank another human that isn’t on tumblr for the quality name after misreading Earth, which sparked this whole disaster.)

It was the first day that the suns would finally shine on Erbth. After decades of fighting the suns and moons back into the void, constantly arguing over everyone’s roles, and trying to make the place livable after all the destruction that the constant fighting caused, all the gods and goddesses could start their work on bringing Erbth to existence. The Tom God, Tim, allowed at last to prepare his land as the god of all tom cats everywhere.

Every god had their creation. There was the Tree God, Jellyfish God, Dog God, and of course the Tom God. Well, technically he was the Cat God, it was, after all, the name he was given at the creation of the universe and the name he trained to hold. However, with his actual name being Tim, everyone just started to call him Tom God the minute they were old enough to understand names. Everyone seemed to find it hilarious that Tim, the most scrawny and weak god of them all, was given the name of the strongest, male cats of the, what everyone else liked to call, very weak species. Over the years, Tim thought long and hard about how to prove to everyone that cats can be just as strong or stronger than everything else.

“So what do you think of this land little guy?” Tim bent down and asked his trusted friend, Firstina, the first cat he created. Tim wasn’t as creative as other gods with names but he was definitely better at designing. Firstina was a small, fluffy, brown and white spotted cat that was only about the size of the first design of a monkey’s foot, which the Monkey God, Cace, deemed “too small and weak,” so Cace very quickly changed their feet into a much larger design.

Firstina nodded in reply, then started to find a comfy spot on Tim’s slightly hovering foot to have a quick nap.

Just as Firstina began to purr, the Goddess of Sharks, Puddle, approached, brushing a few pieces of stray seaweed off her arms, with her first and smallest shark swimming around in a little bubble of water that was hovering above her shoulders, the very tip of the fin slightly emerging from the water. Puddle had the curliest hair out of all of the gods that was dark black almost matching the void with streaks of dark green weaved in. She had hazel eyes and wore a long sleeve shirt with long leggings that looked more like a tangle of more seaweed than actual clothing.

“So, how’s your land of bunnies going?” She sneered, slightly breaking through the water to pet her shark.

“Cats, I have the cats.”

“Cats, bunnies, same thing.” Tim got back up from the ground, ready to speak after trying to suppress his anger when Puddle continued, satisfied with the anger she’s caused. “Sorry, almost the same thing, the God of Bunnies gave them the anger to do a bit of harm on occasion.”

“Actually, the- um- purring can make you vibrate a bit. If enough cats purr on you, they could make you uncomfortably shake for a second.”

“Okay, I change my mind. Bunnies are much more dangerous.”

Tim humphed as Firstina slightly woke up long enough to stretch and let out the biggest yawn before getting more onto Tim’s foot and passing out once again.

“Don’t you have some water you need to make more salty for them or something?”

“Actually I need to finish making defenses so that they don’t murder the rest of the world, which I guess is fairly important. I don’t think that it would be that bad, but everyone else says that would be bad so I guess I shouldn’t let them go crazy and kill all the cats and bunnies.”

Tim held back his anger and disgust. “Yea, you should do that.”

“Well, anyways,” Puddle said, breaking the silence.” This has been such a joy! Tata!” She put her hand on the back of the bubble of water, slowly pushing it back towards the see, out of Tim’s line of sight.

Even more discouraged, Tim began to raise a few trees out of the ground and grow the grass high enough so that the cats could play and hide in it, leaving a batch in the middle with lower grass, a small pound, and a giant tree casting a shadow over the area.

Just as Tim started to place fake fish and sharks into the pound for the cats to chase around, the God of Snakes slowly started to creep up the mountain with his small green snake curled up on the top of his head. The God of Snakes, Sleethy, was one slithery boy, as most of the other gods liked to call him. He was a shorter, thin man, who could easily slide through any spot and constantly seemed to appear out of thin air. Always carrying a smirk, he made sure his caramel brown hair would never see a day where it wasn’t slicked back.

“Ssso, what are your little sssoft balls getting sscared of now?”

“Something that is perfectly reasonable to be afraid of.”

“Like cucumbers?”

“What! They look just like your wicked creature, not like the snakes are more dangerous or anything.”

“Sssure.” Just as Sleethy stroked the back of his snake, the little creature woke up and glided down onto his arm where he curled up around his wrist, sticking his head between the gap of Sleethy’s thumb and index finger.

“So,” Tim asked, nervously playing with his fingers behind his back. For some reason, whenever Sleethy is around he just doesn’t feel as safe as he could be. Maybe it was because of hanging out with so many cats who are constantly jumping at cucumbers or because Sleethy has a habit of arriving out of nowhere, but Tim may never really know. “How is your newest design going?”

“Oh, that little thing. Well, I’m finally ssstarting to make them even bigger than they ssshould be. I’m thinking of making the reticulated python about, I don’t know, maybe 30 feet long. No big deal.”

“Yea, no big deal. You know, I’m starting to work on some ideas for bigger cats, too.”

“Oh really? I’ll be surprised to see how you can possibly make those things bigger without making them fall over even more.”

Tim tried to think of some kind of argument against that, because his cats rarely ever fall over, but it’s not like they don’t even have to since they’re already on the floor so much.

“Well, I mussst be going now, gotta work out how to make the larger ones move easier without any arms of legs,” Sleethy smirked, already sneaking away without any sign that he was ever there in the first place.

Finally alone again, Tim sat down under the main tree in the middle and spread out a few empty blueprints to try and make his design a bit more dangerous. Firstina bounced around the tree for a second before getting too tired and finding a comfy place in the middle of one of the empty blueprints, causing most of the page to slowly start getting more crumbly, but Tim didn’t care, he was too focused on his mission at hand.

Tim spent the next few moons creating and erasing lines, and pulling up a few prototypes made of mist that ran around for an hour before fading away once the wind blew across the land. He had almost finished his newest version of a cat that he wanted to be able to live in more of a desert environment when the Goddess of Eagles swooped down on her prototype of wings she had strapped onto her back.

Talon, the Goddess of all Eagles, had a short pixie cut like hairstyle with her strawberry blonde hair glowing from the sun behind her. She wore a brown and white dress that went down to her knees that was made to have the appearance of feathers without having to kill anything, and a flowy fabric for her sleeve that fell slightly past the end of her hand.

Talon immediately sprinted over to Firstina who was running around, swatting at a few fake fish in the river. She pulled the small cat into her arms, petting the top of Firstina’s head.

“Please, make sure these things are always this cute!”

“No Hi?”

“Oh, how could I forget! Hi Firstina,” she replied, picking up the cat’s paw and shaking it very gently. “And, of course, you too.” Talon pulled Tim into a tight hug, letting Firstina climb up onto her head in the process.

Talon is one of the few gods that Tim actually likes to hang around with, except for the one week where her eagles first thought about having a nice little snack on his babies, but now they’ve limited the murder to only on rare occasions.

“So, whatcha got there?” she asked, admiring the hundreds of spread out papers surrounding the area, half of them wrinkled by a sleeping cat.

“Oh, just a few new designs I had in mind.”

Talon picked up a page labeled Machairodus. It was the biggest model that Tim wanted to make, being about 2 meters long, with long teeth and an extremely intimidating face. “So, straying away from the cuteness a little I see.”

“Just a bit, maybe.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know, I just thought that they could be a little scarier, that’s all.”

“But can’t something be adorable and scary? So far every other god also wants to make their animal the most dangerous version possible, and I just want one animal that is at least slightly cute.” Talon strooked Firstina’s head, looking into Firstina’s shining eyes as she did. “Plus, wouldn’t it be funner to make them look cuddly, but then they pull out a surprise move? It’s what I wanted to do with the eagles but all the other gods complained that I can’t make everything look cute.”

“I guess keeping the fluffiness could help them. Except this dude is staying, he won’t last too long anyway.”

“Hurray!” Talon screamed, waking up the cat for a second.

“Anyway, how’s trying to figure out the best possible wings going for you?”

“I think I’m close to getting them now. I’m thinking of maybe a prototype with more pointed edges next time, and then I’ll gather a few ones made of mist to help test out a few new techniques I have ideas for. I am still struggling though with figuring out a better combination of wings and claws for them.”

There was a distant cry from Talon’s bird who had decided to go on a hunting trip earlier that morning, followed by the shriek of an innocent animal.

“You should probably go take care of that, huh.”

“Most likely,” Talon replied, starting her wings up again, sending most of the leaves nearby flying all around. “I’ll see you late though!” She lifted herself off the ground and disappeared before Tim could yell a reply.

After getting all the papers to stop flying, Tim sat down and worked for even more moons, barely sleeping and living off the new idea of coffee, but he has work to do and not much time to do it before they have to start placing the animals permanently on Erbth.

When Tim was finally done, he felt that the bags under his eyes could hold a few million souls, but, at last, he was done with most of his designs and was finally ready to show them to someone, and he knew exactly who should see them first. Tim sent out the cat hair covered letters by the bird prototypes the very next day, asking for them to come in about a moon.

Before he knew it, the morning came where he could see Puddle, Sleethy, and Talon coming to the tree in the middle from all different directions.

“So, what exactly did you want us to see?” Puddle asked, her words cutting through the silence.

“My newest designs for cats.”

“What, is it 100% more fur or something?”

“More like 500% more fur so it can cover up their new, huge design.” Tim pulled a few mists of the sketches up from his blueprints laying on the ground, and soon about a dozen ferocious cats were pouncing on everything, still acting like they were the size of a pea, while having the ability to murder anything they touch.

“Ssso, what’sss ssso different about these overgrown ssscaredy catsss?” Sleethy asked, backing away from where a jaguar was trying to lay over his feet.

“Well, they’re clearly bigger, and with that now you can clearly see their wit, claws, and teeth.”

“Where did that wit come from?” Puddle commented, backing away from where a tiger was trying to hug her.

“Oh, they always had it. It was the first trait I gave them. It’s just no one got to see it because the fur blocked it out. All the deadliness was just hiding under the layers of fluff, and it took a while to figure out the perfect combination of cuteness, deadliness, and easiness, but I think they’re perfect now.”

“And you will still keep the smallest models right?” Talon asked, already on the floor, cuddling one of the lions.

“You mean Firstina’s prototype. Of course, but I’m thinking about making the fur a bit shorter so they can live in a more hot area, but I had more ideas for the longer fur in the colder climates. I’m thinking of calling them the rusty-spotted cat.”

“And what’s the name of this cutie?” Talon asked, still hugging the giant spotted cat, making the cat purr in reply.

“That’s the cheetah. They’re made to be the fastest land animal and their claws can never be hidden.”

“Still not as great as the megalodon, tho.” Puddle snickered, stepping back into the water, not looking affected at all, but clearly Tim had hit something since she only mentions that creation when she really tries to be impressive against the other, fiercer gods.

“Well, I think it’s great!”

“Ssssure you do, Talon, everything is alwaysss ssso great.”

“Well everything is great.” Talon embraced a lion, starting to braid the misty version of its mane.

Defeated, Sleethy and Puddle went back to their animals to pretend that the conversation never happened. The only one left was Talon, who managed to get all the cats to surround her in a giant hug before the cats slowly disappeared into the mist.

She got up, brushing off some of the grass off of her, before throwing her arm around Tim. “Hey, I bet we can convince Gaius, the God of Pancakes and the Universe, that a few of these cats could be at the top of the food web.”

“Really?’

“Duh, they’re the perfect combination of everything, he’ll love it. Plus I personally know that he has a soft spot for cute animal noises.” She reassured, leading Tim and Firstina, who was resting on Tim’s shoulder, to the steps of clouds to go visit Gaius up on his flying pancake.