#I'm having issues with Tumblr trying to force legacy

[frozenfischer]

'If that's what it come to.'

The words sent a chill down Alex's spine as she realized that the monster in front of her truly felt this was the only way to make his point, to refuse to back down even in the face of clearly overwhelming odds.

The fact that he seemed rather nonchalant about it didn't exactly soothe any of Alex's concerns, though obviously that wasn't the point here. Dr. Gaster was willing to let his death be a message to his own people, but... she wasn't certain that it was the right message to send, either to the monsters or the humans.

And if he either hurt or killed any of the humans in that mob, Alex knew it would be used against the monsters as a whole. It could set back everything they were trying to achieve.

Book-bag slung around her head and shoulder to rest at her back, she found herself moving to stand between the stage and the door even as the sound of the door opening and the shouts of the mob became muffled no longer. But instead of facing Dr. Gaster, instead she put her back to him, instead turning to face the rushing crowd, arms upraised in a halting gesture.

She didn't exactly know what she was going to do, or really have any hope of stopping the mob, but as she saw someone heft something that looked suspiciously like a brick, she just...

Stopped thinking.

And reacted.

Her magic had gone largely unused in the last ten years. It tended to leave her with no so much in the way of control of what she did, but a whole lot of power to dump into it.

It felt achingly familiar, in ways she didn't have time to process. But unlike the last time her magic tried to do this, she didn't summon a simple inch thick wall of water.

This was a three foot wall of ice, bisecting the lecture hall entirely and thick enough to muffle the shouts of alarm coming from the other side.

She didn't have time to think about what a stupid move that would be. She didn't have time to think about the monster at her back. All she could really do was try and focus, to keep that wall up even as she could feel the people on the other side begin to pound against it, an effort that made her legs buckle and her arms shake.

Keep them back. Keep them away. That was all she could focus on.

"If that's what it comes to."

Though Gaster's back was turned, his voice carried with ease; no hesitation in those simple few words.

Laptop snapped shut, and he held it in his hand a moment longer than necessary, before tucking it away in his bag, which he then proceeded to tuck into his coat, despite, once again, there being no logical means by which it fit in there.

He pivoted back to face her.

"The unfortunate answer to your question is yes, it may very well take something as drastic as my death for my people to finally realize just how drastic the situation is, that they cannot sit down and be polite and that they must fight for the life they want to have.

"Fortunately for both of us, I have no intention of it coming to that.

"It's not me you should be afraid for should the situation escalate."

[in-every-reality]

Hi! I hope your doing well!

I feel like we are particularly parched when it comes to Tam x reader (Or any Kotlc x reader) especially on Tumblr so I was wondering if I could request a Tam (Kotlc) x f!reader where reader is also a flasher and is a little jealous of Rayni. Not in a way where she hates Rayni but more like she feels like Rayni would be so much more perfect for Tam. Also reader being Keefe's sister and while Gisela was giving Rayni a home, she was neglecting her actual kids and so reader never really feels like she deserves to be loved. Maybe she was kind of like a backup in case Keefe messed up and Gisela tested a lot of things on her like she was an experiment. Reader feels really guilty because she does like Rayni and she feels like she's in the way and very out of place. I know guilt can be really serious within the lost cities so its like shes trying to push it out of her mind and just stop feeling. Maybe she ends up breaking down in front of Tam and he comforts her.

I really hope I made sense here because I'm super bad at this and its my first time requesting something, haha. Thank you and I hope you have a great day! :)

(Trope: Hurt/comfort w/ established romantic relationship)

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! Sorry it took me so long to finish this 😭 I started writing it a week after I got it and it took me a week to finish (no excuse there). I’ve missed writing for my favorite boy <3 I took some creative liberties with this request (majorly self-indulgent… my bad) :

reader is a flasher, but has some other abilities as well due to experimentation

reader was taken to the Neverseen with Tam during Flashback/ Legacy, but they didn’t have much time together and their experiences were pretty different.

Reader wasn’t raised with Keefe, despite being Gisela’s daughter — and Cassius is NOT her father (though no other clear parents are outlined in this work).

Hope you all had a great Christmas (or any holidays you celebrate around this time) and Happy New Year! My requests are open <3

CW: use of y/n, angst, mentions of breakup/leaving (doesn’t happen), forms of SH (overworking to the point of pain), blood, death mentioned, torture mentioned, violence, ability malfunction, kissing (nothing too heavy), language (f#ck is said once).

Nothing.

You could find absolutely nothing to hate about Rayni Aria.

Sure, she had her flaws — she was vague, had an attitude, had bound you and Tam with ethertine and forced you both into Keefe’s “transformation,” and was part of the terrorist group that had been trying to kill your friends for years.

But you just… couldn’t hate her.

Her shiny, black hair that seemed to float before her face as she spoke, her petite build adding to her angelic beauty, and her pale blue eyes that stood in stark contrast to her bronze skin — they all worked to make Glimmer absolutely stunning.

You were sure your boyfriend had noticed the same; you couldn’t help but wonder how he stayed with you when she was right there.

No. You wouldn’t let yourself think like that, not when Tam had always assured you of his loyalty to you; not when Rayni had helped you through living with the Neverseen just like him (albeit your relationship was more awkward with Gisela in consideration); and definitely not when you had so many greater issues to worry about.

“[Y/N].”

You were pulled from your thoughts as a voice called your name, and only then did you realize you had zoned out. “Sorry, what was that?”

Rayni pursed her lips. “I just asked if you were down for lunch.” She paused, a look as close as she could get to concern across her face. “You alright? You’ve been… spacey, recently.”

“Yeah — I mean, yeah, I’m fine. But I’m… not hungry. Thanks, though.” You walked over to where she and your boyfriend stood, picking up your Imparter from the coffee table between them and pressing an absent-minded kiss to Tam’s cheek. “I’m gonna get out of here for a little while.”

He tilted his head into the contact, but it was gone all too soon. He looked down at you, slightly puzzled. “You sure?”

Rayni raised an eyebrow, her gaze flitting between you and Tam — but she kept quiet.

You nodded, though your smile definitely looked forced. “I’m sure. I’ve been meaning to get some training in. Just need some time to think, yeah?” You laced your fingers with his, giving his hand a light squeeze before pulling back.

“Yeah, okay,” he muttered. His touch lingered on yours for a heartbeat longer, but he didn’t push.

Rayni looked you up and down for a moment, but she didn’t seem interested enough to press further either. “…Okay, then. Catch you later?”

“Later,” you muttered, though you were already halfway out the door.

<>

You flexed your palms, energizing and dimming the multicolored orb before you. After the ethertine had blocked your umbrakinesis for a while, you’d had some time to focus on your other abilities — specifically Flashing.

Not that you were making much progress. You had to keep it small, and you couldn’t control anything “experiment-worthy;” you were probably on par with Wylie. The last time you’d tried something bigger, you’d ended up blind for two hours and the strobe rays were visible from Eternalia. It was the one ability you couldn’t seem to get some control over.

Deep down, part of you couldn’t help but stop yourself before you could do anything substantial. Even so many days after you’d been freed, you still felt the freezing burn of the ethertine bonds at your wrists, the flashes at your eyes when you were using your other abilities without orders. You weren’t sure you’d ever truly recover your relationship with the light. Maybe you’d never be able to use it properly.

Unlike Glimmer.

Were you even useful as a Flasher anyway? The team already had Wylie and Elwin, and Rayni’s mastery had rendered yours practically obsolete.

You closed your fist, the orb vanishing. This wasn’t going anywhere.

Maybe it was time to move onto something else, something you were confident in.

If there was one thing you were good for, it was fighting.

<>

Eighteen. Your hands were growing sore.

Nineteen. That’s when your knuckles began to sting.

Twenty. You let your hands drop to your sides, rubbing at the crescent indents in the heels of your hands from your knuckles digging into your palms. The cloth hand wraps were coming loose, but you couldn’t be bothered to fix them.

With each breath, your chest heaved. Your forearm came up to rest against the leather of the punching bag, forehead following in suit as you closed your eyes and took a minute to breathe.

That was set three… out of ten.

With one final groan, you took a step back and shook out your hands. Raising your fists again, you braced for set four.

One.

Damn, this hurt.

Two.

What other choice did you have?

Three.

This was all you were made for.

Four.

Hit after hit.

Five.

Punch after punch.

Six.

Strike first.

Seven.

Or take it.

Ei—

“[Y/N].” Tam stood at the entrance, arms folded over his chest as he crossed the room to you.

Your fist paused, lowering back to your side as you looked to the doorway of your training gym. You visibly relaxed, turning to face him with the closest thing to a smile you could muster. “Hi,” you said breathlessly. “You doing okay?”

“I should be asking you,” Tam deadpanned, stopping before you. “I haven’t seen you in over an hour, you haven’t eaten in six — what’s going on with you lately?”

Oh. So, you hadn’t been that subtle. “It’s nothing. Just… felt like clearing my head.” You turned back to the punching bag, fists up once again.

“What’s on your mind, love? I can’t help if you’re not telling me anything.”

You felt a pang of guilt at the love in his voice, the concern etched between his features. “I don’t even know myself. Everyone has enough on their plate. Guess I’m just… feeling a little guilty for this whole thing, you know?” You sent another punch, avoiding eye contact. “Got everybody so worked up over us being gone—” Hit. “—but I’m not really that useful while I’m here, either.”

Eight. Nine. Your hits grew erratic. You lost track of the counts in your head, knuckles landing harder and harder.

You heard him draw in a breath, letting out a low sigh as he stepped closer, holding the bag still. “Stop that. You know how dangerous guilt is. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Ten. Eleven. You had everything to be sorry for. Countless times you had lost control, distracted everybody by almost getting yourself killed.

Twelve. You’d gotten the Black Swan a few victories, sure. You were a good fighter; but you couldn’t fight yourself long. You were fast. You couldn’t outrun the truth, though. You were powerful; yet you couldn’t overtake your own head when it really mattered.

Thirteen. “I know.” Lie. “Not something I can really control, is it?”

His hand caught your next punch, wrapping over your knuckles. “[Y/N].”

You forced yourself to glance up, stomach dropping. Tam’s eyes were narrowed, but you caught purely calculating worry in the way he looked over you.

He took your hand into both of his. “You’re bleeding.” You could do nothing but watch his movements as he carefully removed the wrappings on your knuckles, stepping so close you could feel his breath against your neck.

It felt like a lifetime before he finally dropped your hands — though he didn’t let go. “You’ve been so distant since we came back. I know everyone deals with things differently, but I’m worried about you.” With two fingers on your chin, he tilted your face up to really look at him. “Talk to me.”

Maybe it was the softness of his voice. Maybe it was the gentle touch on the back of your hand. Whatever it was, something about his actions made you fall apart.

You felt your eyes begin to burn, tears blurring your vision and threatening to spill over. You managed a whisper, guilt gripping at your throat.

“It’s not about us coming back.”

Tam cocked his head, lips pursed in confusion.

“I mean, it is, a little.” Your eyes dropped to the side. “Feels like… maybe I shouldn’t have. Like everyone would’ve been better off.” Your voice got thick, and you could feel Tam tense at your side.

“And what the hell would lead you to think that?”

The solemnity of his voice destroyed you, and before you knew it, you had resorted to punching again. “I’m being replaced anyway. I can’t keep up with what I’m needed for, anymore. I might be powerful, but I don’t have enough else going to keep being a priority.” At this point, you were talking to yourself. It was as if he wasn’t even there, your words taking over your own thoughts. The only thing grounding you to your surroundings was your damp, stinging knuckles slamming into cold, rough leather.

You swallowed your cries, blinking furiously as your vision clouded. Yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing.

“[Y/N], please. What are you talking about?”

“I know she’s better than me. You know it, the group knows it, my own mother knows it—” Your words caught in your throat, tears finally spilling over. You laughed. It was a sound without humor, a sound of hysteria, mixing terribly with your broken sentences. Your punches stopped, arms wrapping around the punching bag as you slide to your knees.

Tam instantly crouched down beside you, an arm wrapping around your waist to hold you up. His other hand guided your head into the crook of his neck as his thumb ran over your jaw. Realization settled into him like wading into cold water — he wanted to step back, back to where it was more comfortable, back to where he didn’t have to acknowledge his own wrongs.

But for you, he stepped forward.

“…This is about Glimmer.” His voice was soft; no judgement, no impatience.

You forced yourself to pull your face from the warmth of his shoulder, staring up at him. You hated realizing how pathetic this must seem. You hated being seen like this, so immature in your jealousy.

“It’s not her fault,” you whispered. “But… ever since she came back with us, I haven’t mattered. I don’t know if I ever really have. Gisela chose her. All those years I didn’t even know I was hers, never had any acknowledgement her blood ran through my veins, and she was out there raising Rayni like her own perfect daughter. And I know–I know that’s not fair, I know Gisela mistreated her, too, but… why not me? All that work into making me the perfect weapon, and she tossed me aside. But that’s not… Glimmer’s fault.”

Tam held your gaze, a hand on your shoulder keeping you steady. “And… you’re going to trust the infamously manipulative terrorist leader’s judgement? [Y/N]. Gisela didn’t choose you because she knew she couldn’t control you. She’s quite possibly the worst person to have approval from. And you — you’re strong, yes. You’re powerful, yes. But you’re so much more than that to all of us, okay? You’re so much more than that to me. However, I know you, which means I know there’s something else to this. You said Rayni was better than you. You said… ‘everyone knows it.’ Do you—do you think I think that?” His voice was still calm, but a little worry seeped in.

You wanted to give him the good answer. The right answer. You tried to assure yourself, to assure him, you really did.

“Of course not. It’s just… I’ve seen the way everyone looks at her. You’re not quite the same, but it’s close. She’s just so… so beautiful. Fuck, she’s amazing. No matter how much everyone wants to hate her, I know they all see it. I know you see it. And it feels like I left everything worth loving about me in the Neverseen. I don’t have it in me to be beautiful anymore.”

He blinked slowly, letting out a sigh. His grip tightened gradually as he tugged you onto his lap, his heartbeat against yours.

“[Y/N]. Please. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry that I haven’t made sure you know that. To tell you the truth… I have been talking to Rayni more; and I have been talking to you less. But… Sources, I—the issue was never you. And it was never that I preferred Rayni. I was scared, love. I was scared that I lost what was worth loving; that I wouldn’t be enough for you after what the Neverseen took from us, from me. I spent more time with Rayni because it was easier to face her and know she’d done worse, to know I’m on her level at least… than to be with you, and know I may never deserve you; to know I’m not the light you need.”

You cupped your hands around his neck, about to speak, but he stopped you.

“But this isn’t about me right now. Because I know better. I know, even if I don’t deserve it, I’ll always be yours. This is about you. The point is, I haven’t done nearly as well as I should have at making you feel loved.” Tam paused, brushing your hair out of your face. “You are loved. Not just by me… but especially by me.” You smiled at that, and some of the remorse in his heart eased.

“I love you,” he whispered. “It will always be you.”

You two stayed like that for a while.

Just him and you.

<>

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3

[poplohours]

oh shit since this is tumblr i could hide my insane thoughts about ryuunosuke behind a read more wrt dgs.

i think ryuunosuke keeps trying to appeal to the older men he meets in britain in order to try and regain the sense of stability he lost after he got accused of kazuma's murder as well as everything around "kazuma shoved me in a suitcase and then a literal closet and now i have to carry the reins of this legacy i have no idea how to follow."

ryuu trying to appeal to sholmes and zieks only to be turned away awkwardly bc they're like ... you're ... listen, kid, you're 23, but you clearly have issues, let's just. not. do that. ever. awkward pat on the head. ryuunosuke gets drunk and cries on sholmes. sholmes is sweating thinking about the fact that he kinda sorta mighta covered up a murder of this guy's friend? and maybe that's kind of why he's so hyper-dependent rigth now?

but also i'm insane and think of ryuu and kazuma and go "oh they were bad for each other" because i think that's fun for some reason and get stuck on "ryuu should probably disengage from that kind of intensity and have normal non-romantic relationships for a while." meanwhile susato is trying to figure out how to be a person in another country after being an object to the side of kazuma for most of her life. sholmes is like "ahaha! yes, i can fix this."

no you can't. you can't just fix this. trying to adopt an adult man and a teenage girl forced to be an adult too early is not going to fix anything. the best you can do is give them a place that won't fall out from under their feet.

i'm also weird tho bc ziek never seemed that "racist" to me in terms of the really weird nationalism that soaks the broader narrative of DGS (are you a japanese nationalist takumi???) zieks should calmly say hello to ryuu and ryuu should latch on and then zieks can go "oh um alright, i have somewhere else to be" .

why do i think about this. great question. i think ryuu is more compelling if i think about him trying to latch onto people who are older and really aren't interested in him in trying to find some thin comfort in a strange place. funny bc i don't even care about dgs but this does live in my brain. zieks has his boyfriends but all of his relaitonships are normal (i mean the blood drinking but thats fine). sholmes is operating on another level that i do not think anyone elose can touch because of how many drugs he's taken, so he's not really available or interested either.

do i ship anything in dgs. this is a good question. honestly i dont even think i ship susato with her friend bc her friend isn't much of a character u_u also i think susato deserves the chance to become her own person considering how withdrawn and cold she often is. her dad kinda seems like a slut but i have no strong feelings about that either. slut in a normal way not in a weird way. again this is a Vague Impression. i do not remember most of these characters. i think kazuma should maybe never be allowed to date anyone until he is at least 35. i think kazuma needs to be studied under a microscope. i think there's not a cure for whatever disease kazuma has.

[isobug]

I'm trying to go through and add ALT text / image descriptions to posts which don't have the on OP but do have a ( graciously! ) provided one in the reblogs, but I'm having so much trouble with the new forced "Beta Editor". Especially on posts which I made using the Legacy Editor.

Please be patient with me as I add these and please understand that if a post only has ALT text on the images, it's most likely because the editor is making it difficult or impossible to add and format large chunks of text on these posts. Same with some posts with an ID but not ALT text ( sometimes the editor will not let me access the ALT text option on "Legacy" posts, but this is not completely consistent )

Tumblr is making some strides towards being more accessible. I'm happy ALT text shows up on the mobile app, many blog themes, and on the mobile website at all since it used to be restricted to desktop-only. But it's still a struggle to try and adapt as a disabled person with sight and joint issues.

I guess I'm just saying, please allow me some time to add these things and to struggle with the editor. I will not be offended if anyone chooses to reblog a reblog with the provided ID text instead of directly from me and I even encourage everyone to check and see if one is available for that post! Tysm everyone ( imagine a pleased / friendly emoticon here )

[rpschtuff]

Hi Jeanette! There may be an workaround with the switchover from legacy to the new editor for Trim Reblogs that should still work (I haven't tested it as I've been using the new editor for months now) that you could test.

So what matters to Trim Reblogs is the root post of the thread, i.e. the initial post of that thread. So let's say a thread is 20 replies--you want to go back to the starter for that thread. Let's assume, for ease, that Partner A was the one who started it, Partner B replied to it. This would then be Partner A's first post that we are looking for.

Previously, Trim Reblogs just didn't work on legacy posts at all until a recent update to it. A way that I found to go around this was by finding the first post of the thread and editing it using the MOBILE APP EDITOR. Not the browser, the Tumblr mobile app for Android/iOs (in my case, it was iOS). By editing it and changing something small--bolding or italicizing a word was my go-to, you could even just bold or italicize a period or something--it sort of "forced" it back to the NPF style post, and then it would be recognized by Trim Reblogs as the new post format (NPF).

It's something I would test & see if it works to possibly get around some of the issues that happen when you're trying to convert old legacy threads to the new editor & Trim Reblogs just continually glitches out (it happens sometimes).

Also, something to note: unlike with the old xKit, you do not have to have your draft written before you save the post in drafts. You can save it as a draft with nothing in it, cut it, and then work on your post with no issues. It won't randomly post your drafts like the old Editable Reblogs did. (Posting drafts is why I got rid of Editable Reblogs myself, because it was just a no-go for me given how often I switch between drafts).

Thank you so much for your guide! I'm glad to see people switching over to the new editor finally, as it's been... a struggle to deal with not being able to cut posts for months now when I got annoyed with Editable Reblogs.

Thanks for the info! That trick of editing the starter post to switch it to NPF is really helpful for people who don't want to go through all the trouble of moving a thread to a brand new post -- I'll edit my couple of posts to include that. I did edit last night to add that you don't need to have your reply written before using Trim Reblogs anymore. I know that was the case before, but now it seems you can trim at any point, like you said.

About the randomly posting drafts issue -- if that is the same problem I've experienced, you can get around that by switching the save to drafts button to anything else, then back. I wasn't aware of this being an issue with legacy/editable reblogs, though it wouldn't surprise me, and I'm not sure if you'll still have the problem on beta. But I've just made it a habit to switch the button before saving to drafts if I know something isn't ready to post yet.

[oldblognotusedyh]

I have been binge reading your blog bc is great and fun, and came across some unsavory anons, so I will comment something and please feel free to ignore this bc it might be a little too negative and way too ranty ~~

People who have been watching this sport since 2014 and before (me) can say that top skaters TODAY have worse skating skills than many not ranked in the top. Is ISU’s judging fault. “Skating skills”, not “can rotate 2.5 rotations on air skills”. URs that are not called, PC caps that only work for a few athletes and ignored for others, GOEs all over the place (a judge gave Kazuki -1 in a element this Worlds while another gave +4 in the same element. Wth), lazy entrances for jumps, step sequences that cover a third of the ice, over cross overs with lack of speed… this is not “I feel like”, this is “I see it”. We have judges incentivizing and nurturing bad skills across disciplines.

I’m saying this bc I’m very very tired of people trying to brute force this narrative that good skaters have, somehow, become worse in what they are best. We watch these comps as well, we access the protocols. The underscoring is obvious and historic at this point. Who can explain Hope and Legacy 2017 protocol as fair? Will not even touch the women’s discipline, because Sochi was the alarm we should have paid attention to. Hell, Ice Dance has been messy for decades.

So, unless we can all agree that there is no objectivity in fs and therefore this is not a sport and it should leave the Olys, there is objective issues in how some athletes have been scored according to the ISU’s own rulebook. Recycling programs is not a problem, polishing your skills is not a problem. Emptying your programs is, not receiving calls in bad technique is.

(Also tired how people can all agree that something terribly wrong has been happening in women’s judging but if we go to any other discipline then no, corruption starts and ends there, no issue with ice dance / pairs and especially men, none whatsoever).

So sorry for this lengthy rant directed at you, and I know y’all are trying to make tumblr less negative than fstwitter, but there’s a limit to misinformed narratives that we can allow pester in these spaces I feel.

Again, please feel free to ignore this, hope you have a great rest of the week!

Thank you so much, I'm very happy you appreciate my blog 😁!

I very much believe that you have highlighted the issue well and put it out there more eloquently than I can. And yet, however much evidence there is to support the off ISU judging in all disciplines, there will always be people who blatantly ignore this and argue against it.

I'd like to quickly point out that I'm not well-versed into the details of skating skills, but even I who have not watched FS in almost 6 years until this year's Euros noticed how different the sport became from what I remember. In 3-4 months I have learnt as much as I could about the sport and seeing the performances of top skaters and then their protocols... I was baffled at some.

[kyber-heart]

I posted 1,275 times in 2021

344 posts created (27%)

931 posts reblogged (73%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.7 posts.

I added 838 tags in 2021

#queue or queue not there is no try - 278 posts

#swtor oc - 130 posts

#anto's ramblings - 122 posts

#anto plays: star wars the old republic - 105 posts

#ask game answers - 46 posts

#raven of domain kwaad - 35 posts

#oc: aidrien keyett - 34 posts

#oc: jost colton - 31 posts

#swtor ocs - 29 posts

#the kyberheart legacy - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it is also worth mentioning that lightsaber crystals in the eu lore can be found all over the galaxy and that kyber and adegan are just two

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I blame @the-raven-of-highever and @itstheelvenjedi for enabling this. 

I’m kidding, but she does look great.

21 notes • Posted 2021-03-24 17:20:06 GMT

#4

I have to say that for sheer world building alone, Alderaan is my favourite planet in SWTOR. Like the politics of all the noble houses is so interesting to me. I wish more planets had such an in-depth planetary story.

22 notes • Posted 2021-01-16 23:47:50 GMT

#3

Lightsabers for Hire

- Anthony G [Kyberheart]

Hey everyone! This is the first piece of writing I’m publicly sharing here! All comments and criticism are not only welcomed but appreciated! This fic can also be found on AO3, the link to which can be found here: [Link]

From: Hylo Visz

To: Aidrien Keyett

Subject: Need to talk.

Hey Commander. 

Got a new lead for ya’. I think you’ll be personally interested in this one! Meet me in the cantina at thirteen-hundred hours, we’ll talk more about it.

Hylo

The message was short, sweet, and accurate to Hylo’s assessment, intriguing. The vagueness of her message, and her emphasis on finding it ‘personally’ interesting, had made it so to Alliance Commander, Aidrien Keyett.

(link to full original post ⬇)

22 notes • Posted 2021-01-11 16:48:06 GMT

#2

This amazing piece of my OCs Aidrien Keyett and Jost Colton with Kira Carsen was done by @palepinkycat whom I commissioned and I could not be happier!!! It looks so cool, I'm amazed! Thank you for this!

26 notes • Posted 2021-09-06 16:37:39 GMT

#1

Anyway on a lighter note. I've been thinking about variety of looks for characters. Specifically Jedi and Sith.

I love having a variety of weapon options for my Force Users and BioWare has (in my opinion) provided a good amount of options from standard single blades, double-bladed lightsabers, lightsaber shotos, cross-guard lightsabers, curved hilt lightsabers, unstable blade lightsabers, and more recently, lightsaber pikes. While I absolutely would love even more of these (especially shotos, pikes, and curved-hilts) I wonder what they could add next.

So, here are some personal hopes for future lightsaber styles.

1. GUARD SHOTO/LIGHTSABER TONFA

Anyone who has played Star Wars: The Force Unleashed may remember this design as made famous by Maris Brood, Shaak Ti's fallen padawan. While not too different from a typical Lightsaber, I think they bring an interesting design that would look great for Sentinels and Marauders. Since they would have to be usable with existing animations, I figure they would have to be displayed facing forward rather than running parallel to the forearm but I still think it would look neat regardless. There is also the potential issue of them looking awkward in cutscenes or when using certain abilities like Riposte or Gore (horizontal stabbing motions).

(link to full original post ⬇)

39 notes • Posted 2021-02-02 00:41:05 GMT

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what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[countessofbiscuit]

What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!

Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3 

Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ...  (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)

I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?                         

And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.          

Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.

And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.  

Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.

(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)

Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s! 

Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”) 

The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not. 

And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.

Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.

If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength. 

Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)

I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.

Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:

They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.

They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two. 

Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.

Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.

Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice. 

So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.

They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.

Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.

For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there. 

They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.

When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.

Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”

Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka. 

When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))

Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \

Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it. 

(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

[aqvarius]

With people comparing Namba and Matsunaga (both older, both have an ex which feels redundant plot wise, and having moments of being laid back but also stern), which of the two do you think is the better?(Though I'm not sure if rmd will go beyond the 2nd epilogue since all the backlash from LC and we'll probably never see any more character development from each guy)

hmmmMMMM okay so i still have thoughts about the future of rmd (which i’m still working on slowly to try and get all my Thoughts in order) pending for another ask BUT i actually still haven’t read namba’s adversaries so i feel like i can maybe make a decent comparison without namba having too much advantage

so matsunaga and namba are REALLY similar. the sad thing is that matsunaga’s history with his ex should tie into the plot but it really doesn’t (or rather the link between ex and the plot comes out of literally nowhere) unless you’ve read all the right heart scenes (i’m just presuming this, it might also come out of nowhere even if you’ve read all the heart scenes and also i don’t know which ones exactly bc i didn’t wanna spend any hearts on this route lol). 

CUT FOR BIG SPOILERS

i do actually think that matsunaga’s route had more potential to weave in some more complex themes but ultimately ended up being a bit more basic(?) in terms of its core message. while yes, it is groundbreaking for voltage for them to write a bi love interest, i felt the way they tackled sexuality in this route wasn’t the most thoughtful. i mean, for the patient to basically go nuts (honestly don’t even remember his name bc this route made so little impact on me and i didn’t enjoy it enough to save screenshots lol) and murder his ex because he chose to preserve his public image as a celebrity and date a woman just felt like (1) not the most thoughtful character construction for a non-straight character and (2) just a way to (dare i say tokenistically) shoehorn in matsunaga’s sexuality without making it a genuinely impactful part of his personality and the development of his relationship with the mc. 

for one, i have to reiterate that it really did come out of nowhere. most of the route focussed on matsunaga’s health issues (frankly unnecessary imo). for me it felt like the health issue thing was a way for matsunaga’s backstory (particularly in relation to kasumi) to be written in, and then the thing with his ex was the way for his character to relate somewhat to a seemingly unrelated case (the actual medical/patient case aspect of the route), but they honestly threw that in so last minute and it was such a passing thing as well? like i feel like matsunaga’s route and his character were developed more from the whole downplaying his health issues thing than his sexuality. however, because the climax of the route was about the patient going berserk, they kind of were like let’s diffuse this situation with a dramatic reveal about matsunaga’s sexuality and that GENUINELY felt like all that was used for. like all of the “getting closer” moments were related to his health issues or hanging out the pomeranian lol. 

also honestly the ways in which both the patient and the female patient dealt with the singer’s death was exactly the same (i.e. wanting to die bc what’s the point in living if he’s no longer there) so i didn’t really see the point of there being two of them aside from setting up for a more dramatic ~gasp the singer was bi~ moment which in itself was just a setup for a more dramatic ~gasp matsunaga is bi~ moment right at the end. i also felt like they could have addressed the idea of fear of social discrimination in a more nuanced and thoughtful way? essentially i wasn’t a fan of the whole “he was afraid of being in a publicly gay relationship with me so i killed him bc he broke up with me to be with a woman” thing. and in my opinion, matsunaga contributed NOTHING to that entire theme aside from just saying “i had a boyfriend and we broke up for the same reasons except i didn’t become a murderer” which like........ you could have used this opportunity to actually explore the pain and difficulty of needing to hide your relationship because of social taboo or being discarded because your partner chose public image over you rather than just write this character off as a vengeful gay ex vs the good bi guy (matsunaga who just accepts injustices like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ que sera sera). i thought it would have been a stronger and more sophisticated story had they either focussed on either one theme or the other in this one route (health/life expectancy issues vs sexuality) instead of kind of having both be treated a little half-heartedly. the feeling i got was that the first step to getting closer (and i say this laughingly bc honestly the distance between them even after 30 chapters is GAPING) was the pomeranian and then the topic that gave their relationship a little more depth than “we’re just hanging out with your dog” was the revelation of his health issues. 

also the idea that people live on through your memories of them felt a little like... overdone/simple? or that it was lacking a more sophisticated engagement with the idea of death, legacy and memories. i’ve read school life shoujo manga that deals with that theme in a more interesting way. so for me, it felt a little ingenuine that it was treated by as a perspective or way of thinking about death that was like a mindblowing new way to look at life ahead, especially since the characters involved are in their 20s, not early teens. 

so anyway i think that matsunaga has potentially a deeper character? namba has more or less ‘healed’ or at least learnt to cope with his issues enough that you wouldn’t know anything is up but it’s clear that matsunaga still has a lot of personal issues to work through, so there was genuine potential to overcome some of that boss-subordinate power imbalance through having genuine connection between just humans or to develop him as a character whose prioritisation of others is maybe a flaw. i just think that they crammed so many things in that none of it really got addressed or developed properly lol.  

i will say that i find matsunaga is way less fun than namba? namba is more of a “my pace” kind of guy - he’s more random/eccentric which i enjoy. matsunaga’s persona is more just like a regular nice guy? you would NEVER find matsunaga just on the street in costume pretending to be a fortune teller for no reason but to give you random love advice? 

but on that same note, i definitely feel less chemistry between matsunaga and his mc compared to namba. maybe this is just bc i only read matsunaga’s normal ending in which she confesses and asks him out and he literally SAYS NO AND IT ENDS WITH HER GETTING REJECTED (and i’m p sure they still aren’t together even in the happy ending or the epilogue), but the whole time i feel like there was only ever a parent-child relationship between them. i never felt like matsunaga treated her any different than how he treats literally anyone else in the EICU. i actually think he treats kasumi the best out of everyone, including his mc. the weird thing is that rmd actually had way more time and potential - i mean they literally SET THE TWO CHARACTERS UP IN AN EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC CONTEXT and there was still NEGATIVE amounts of romantic chemistry??? HOW? namba and his mc literally were in a boss-subordinate dynamic the entire time and they still had more chemistry and genuine interpersonal connection without it feeling like the mc is a small pet vying for her owner’s attention the entire time while also somehow simultaneously trying to mother him? i’m not kidding when i say that namba and his mc are more fun in 10 chapters than matsunaga and his mc are in THIRTY.  

ALSO namba’s (consistent lol) berating of his mc makes sense with his character and the context and is justified every time because his mc is a thoughtless noob (but one with potential that he sees his old self in). on the other hand, matsunaga has one moment when he scolds his mc for... some reason... but because she’s supposed to be this superstar student, she doesn’t really make the mistakes that allow her those learning opportunities. and then matsunaga basically just lets her do whatever she wants re: dealing with patients.  

oh and also the plot of namba’s route is better. 

in short, matsunaga’s route had potential but i feel like the missed potential and the lack of thoughtfulness in cramming in too many themes and not making the most of them are huge negative factors. namba has a more fun character, there is SO much more romantic chemistry between him and his mc, the plot is better and more interesting and has a twist without it feeling forced, namba’s comments about his age/their age gap make more sense for his character, his sprite is more attractive (lmaoooo), the relationship development is more organic, even the moments of rejection feel both more earned and heartbreaking. tl;dr: namba wins

ALSO sorry it took me so long to reply!! i’m still half in and out of tumblr 

[blazehedgehog]

I'm curious if at this point you're good enough at writing and video editing, to get reviews out on time, and the gimmick is just held out of legacy. It feels like you could.

There is no gimmick.

This is going to be very “how the sausage is made,” meaning it’s a long post. A very, very long post. So I’m hiding it behind a “read more” tag.

I mean, I guess there kind of was a gimmick, nine years ago when I first started doing video reviews. And that’s because I originally envisioned my video reviews as the same stuff everyone else was doing at the time: older games. I didn’t have a lot of money, so it wasn’t going to be a show for new games. It was going to be whatever I was thinking of and playing at the time, which was universally going to be old games, and usually old games I’d replayed more than once. Astal, Shenmue, Klonoa, etc. Classics and oddities.

Starting with Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing, I started doing video reviews for new games almost exclusively. I’d get a new game at launch, and from the moment it was in my hands, I’d put together a video review for TSSZ. So, it took me six weeks to put together the All-Stars Racing review. Five weeks for the Sonic Lost World review. And so on.  

When I got bold enough to start doing video reviews in HD, things started taking exponentially longer. DKC Tropical Freeze, Mario Kart 8, etc. all took me around 3 months a piece. Part of that was the methods used to create HD reviews, as my crummy Roxio Gamecap HD required huge amounts of time (weeks, sometimes) to transcode footage out of their broken format in to something Sony Vegas would accept. But I also began to incorporate more artwork in to my reviews, because I wanted to utilize a talent of mine that was beginning to atrophy. It was a good excuse to draw again.

The longest video on my channel is my “How Do We Fix Sonic?” video. It’s 30 minutes and 30 seconds long, and took me 14-16 months to put together. It took more than a hundred drawings, and even some animation, something I’d never done before. It was the biggest video project I’d ever undertaken at the time.

For reference, the Sonic Mania video review I published in July is the exact same length – 30 minutes and 30 seconds. Depending on how you count, the Sonic Mania video review was put together in three months – the same amount of time it took for Tropical Freeze, Mario Kart 8, et al.

I say “depending on how you count” because Sonic Mania came out in August of 2017, in a period of time where I was homeless. I technically had a Sonic Mania video review script written by September of 2017, but we did not find an apartment to move in to until November of 2017. And, even then, when we moved in, my desktop PC was damaged – the motherboard and power supply had suffered an electrical surge when I plugged my system in to an unsafe outlet while staying at my brother’s house in the four intervening months. I spent $200+ on replacement parts and had to rebuild the whole system, something I was not keen on doing in the middle of the holiday season in an unfamiliar town, in an unfamiliar state. I’d just left my childhood home, the place I’d spent 24 years of my life in. It was a nightmare. All of this took place a year ago, and I still feel tremendously homesick. I abandoned everyone, everywhere and everything I ever knew.

So I didn’t get my system rebuilt until March of 2018, and didn’t really get to work on the Sonic Mania video until April. April to May, May to June, June to July. Three months. For a video that was the same length as the longest, most difficult video I’d ever put together for my channel.

Tristan wanted to air my video review on the TSSZ Twitch channel on the day Sonic Mania Plus was launching. I was hoping to get it out before then, but in the end, I think I only had maybe a week (or less) between finishing my video and Plus launching. So it goes.

There’s a small lie in there, however, in that Sega offered us an early review copy of Sonic Mania Plus. I recall that I was still putting the finishing touches on the original Sonic Mania video review when I had a copy of Plus sitting here on my desk.

I took a few days to myself, just to rest and recharge, before I dove head first into producing the Sonic Mania Plus video. Except that when Sonic Mania came out in August of 2017, I finished the game once as Sonic & Tails. I started files as Tails and Knuckles, but I hadn’t really played too far with them, knowing I’d need to replay the whole game multiple times for video capture purposes. When Plus came out, I was coming off a stint of having replayed Sonic Mania four times for the capture – as Sonic & Tails (with the emeralds), as Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic alone (without the emeralds). I was not actually in the mood to keep playing it.

So my playthrough of Mania Plus was… sluggish. I think the game had been out for a week by the time I’d finished it as Mighty, Ray, and done a full playthrough of Encore Mode. But, by early August I had a video review script written and production was starting to get underway on the Sonic Mania Plus video review. I had a sketch of what I thought the review would look like in the end (called a “shotlist,” which I have uploaded here) and I was starting to capture the video I needed and whatever else.

There was one problem with this: SAGE 2018. It dropped in the middle of August and upended everything I was doing. It was a tremendous undertaking. I wrote nearly 30 pages of text about 85 games in just six days. I thought I could handle it, and in a lot of ways I did, but it left me absolutely fried. On top of the growing burnout from spending now four and a half months doing two Sonic Mania video reviews back to back.

After SAGE, I was going to take a few days off, maybe a week. It ended up being nearly four weeks. That still didn’t feel like enough. It threw everything off balance.

Getting those gears turning again was a struggle. It was October now, and I had plans to do other videos for October. Halloween videos. I split my time researching potential Halloween videos with capturing the rest of my footage (a week), doing artwork (a week and a half), and getting my voice over in order (another week, as the stress was starting to get to me, and that doesn’t make for a good environment to do voice work).

I actually tried to cut corners on my video capturing. Rather than capture footage from six full-length playthroughs of Sonic Mania, I scaled things way back, hoping I wouldn’t need quite as much b-roll as I usually capture. Instead of playing Sonic Mania to completion six more times, I:

Captured one entire playthrough of Encore Mode, minus collecting the seven emeralds. I already had a completed file with the emeralds, so having two files would let me compare the endings.

Because I wanted footage of Ray and Mighty also in Mania Mode, I split one playthrough in half between them: every three levels, I would trade off. Ray would take Green Hill, Chemical Plant, and Studiopolis, then Mighty would do Flying Battery, Press Garden, and Stardust Speedway before I’d switch back to Ray again for the next three. This gave me half of the game as each character, and one complete playthrough between them.

Similarly, I needed footage of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles in Mania mode, but since I had Sonic Mania Plus on PS4 and my original review was produced using the PC version, my save couldn’t be transferred. Instead, I grinded out Blue Spheres medals until I could unlock Debug Mode, and summarily, stage select. Then I just did the same thing, but every two levels: Sonic would get Green Hill and Chemical Plant, Tails would get Studiopolis and Flying Battery, Knuckles would get Press Garden and Stardust Speedway, etc.

Unfortunately, even with being smart like that, it wasn’t enough, and in the middle of editing everything together, I still had to go back and capture footage of specific moments to fill in the gaps I was missing. The lesson is: though you’ll throw away 99% of it, you’ll never have enough b-roll captured. Never ever.

Which brings us to the end of October, me not getting to do any Halloween videos, and the final, finished Sonic Mania Plus review. This time, 20 minutes of video in four months.

Could I have been faster? I don’t know if that’s for me to say. Even though I took a month off (almost all of September), I was still struggling really hard with burnout on the Sonic Mania Plus video. I work on these videos from home, and I have an incredibly poor work-life balance as a result. Essentially, I wake up every morning, turn on my PC, and work on whatever until I go to bed. The only breaks I take are to eat, go to the bathroom, or run errands (shop for food, help babysit my nephews, etc.)

What this really means is something that’s familiar to people who have struggled with burnout, and that’s days where all you do is sit around and worry about work but not actually do any work. I’m trying to get better about this, to have hard cutoff points in the afternoon where I stop working and let myself relax, but that’s easier said than done when you relax at the same place you also work. It’s a learning process for sure.

So, like, yeah, it could have been done a few weeks earlier, but that’s assuming I wasn’t burnt out from working too hard, which means I wouldn’t have worked super hard to get to that point anyway, so no, maybe it wouldn’t have been done a few weeks earlier. I’m not a robot.

I am, however, incredibly stressed. Still stressed about moving to Nevada, stressed about being so far behind on the videos I promised to put out, stressed out about things I won’t even mention here on tumblr because they’re personal issues.

But I am going as fast as I can. I might even be going faster than is healthy for my body.

You’ll get your videos when I’m actually done with them and not a second sooner.

But for now, I need a lot of rest. It’s time for an extended rest-and-recharge session. I still have the promised Sonic Forces video to figure out, and that’ll get done eventually, but I’m running on fumes, I need to gas back up, and it’s a big, empty tank.