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Mental illness really is a bitch. Every year I look at my phone gallery and I'm surprised by how much care for details I had and how full I kept my days the previous year. I'm slowly stripping my life to the bare bone, it's scary but I don't care enough to be scared. I take a good thing and then remove every slightly unpleasant part of it, even if it means throwing away good chunks in the process, and if I can't do that I'll just throw the whole thing away. But what really gets me is that after all that work, I'm still surrounded by messiness and still unable to manage what little is on my plate. I kind of want to get into details but I'm honestly too embarassed to
#i keep forcing myself to act normal for 1-2 days at a time and have#you know#An Enjoyable Time On This Earth#but really that's just me going through the motions#I'm hating every second of it#and it's just... what's wrong with me? why can't I handle shit#because it's not even that I lack motivation - I mean#that too lol - it's that I genuinely don't want to put myself through things#I wish I could just go to sleep for a long time
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#here in Brazil (and especially in my state)#we are facing#the highest temperatures#in recent decades#it has never been this hot#before in my entire life#and honestly#I'm hating every second of it#it's hard to exist here today#❅ wιтнoυт arrowѕ ( ooc ) ❅
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I love heat waves, I love the feeling of my skin suffocating, and I love the impending doom of a more than likely strong storm that comes to end it.
It's totally my fave.
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People who say 'parent-ifying Sebastian is out of character and dumb' literally have no joy in their hearts. MAYBE its fun to put the demon in situations, he didn't ask to be a single mother but there he is.
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#dadbastian#and I'm sure he hates every second of it#but too bad!
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billy hargrove: in every scene — 2.04 chapter four: will the wise
#m#gifs#damn this scene's hard to colour match considering every angle is like. completely different. thanks @ st camera crew#anyway. billy wouldve been insufferable to play bball with. but also he shouldve bullied steve harder#billy; been in town for 3 days and hates his fucking life: first of all i'm fucking skins second of all i'm ur worst nightmare#third of all i own this court now. jason get fucked.#billy hargrove#billyhargroveedit#bhies
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The time is coming, Alicent (x)
#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#aegon x alicent#alicent x aegon#house of the dragon#hotd#hotdedit#houseofthedragonedit#gameofthronesdaily#alicenthightoweredit#aegoniiedit#welighttheway#aegoniitargaryenedit#targaryensource#mariana does things#*aligon#photoset#*hotd#would you love me if i were you and you were me and you hated every single second of it?#i'm sorry this has a million gifs. my computer crashed
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personally i think the trope of "said something i wasn't supposed to while high on pain meds at the hospital" only works if it's smth actually incomprehensible. down with this trope. that and the whole "speaking out loud but the narrator doesn't know they are" trope. you should legally have to tag that i think. i know this usually happens for characters that would never admit something otherwise but actually there are a billion reasons someone would admit something they wouldn't otherwise. for example: someone else has a bomb-
#an essay i would never publish#/hj#a fic/book will be going so well and then they rush to this part#and it's like please give me a little more fun#also why is it that they always say this after waking up from surgery or smth like that and every single character is in their room#i'm fairly sure the nurse would be like “get the hell out of here so they can recover???”#like this is NOT a hate post if you like this then that's literally all the power to you#i just think you should tag it so i can't be surprised with second hand embarrassment#i also think it diminishes the impact of the reveal you're making because the character wasn't aware that they were giving this up#and if it's something personal to them then no one ever writes the part afterwards where they have to deal with the embarrassment#or the shame of it#or the fact that they had no control over that and now it's just open in the air for everyone to know#erinwantstowrite#writing
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In case you're wondering what I've been up to
Dragons
The answer is dragons
#when your dnd campaign has been on hiatus for so long you start making AUs like evil preschoolers playing dolls#obligatory apology to the one friend who's dms are being victim of me losing my absolute shit about this#hear me out what if our little guys but in h/ouse of the d/ragon eh ehhhh?#if you can't tell I've also been watching it and I'm hating every second#except the one (1) gay kiss and the dragons they deserve so much better#why am I brai rotting over this I HATE THESE DAMN SHOWS#but the dragon design are so good goddammit 😩#send help#my art#dragon#dragon art#character design#ishhhhh
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SALTOMMY + notes app poetry ↳ “your wishful thoughts, my deepest desires — buried.”
#ngl i was sweating blood with this one cuz 1) i hated every version of the second gif before this#and 2) sal my baby you needed some more screentime or better cut scenes cuz it was tough finding one that fit#i hope i managed though?!#i'm still not that keen on the text but at this point whateverrr agvasvag#saltommy#sal deluca#tommy kinard#911#911 abc#911edit#edits*#my gif#anztag#usernolan#saltommyedit#911gifs
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Cassandra, my love, how the hell have you managed to whip out this dwarf's name so quickly out of fucking nowhere while we are discussing not just your career path but your whole life and the political landscape of a half of the continent... and what's more important are you implying that you are ready to sacrifice your whole life at the proverbial altar, just to make the Chantry an institution Varric would approve of??? Can we.. Can we unpack at least part of it??
#cassarric#is one hell of a drug#tench plays video games#dragon age#regardless I'm not putting this woman near politics#she said like half an hour ago that i should let the rmpress be killed because she is holding a party#which isn't even true technically and also it's for a peace talks#i know she will hate every second of her life forever as a divine
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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okay so basically i drew stuff for a sneak peek
reason being is the actual thing i'm trying to draw is an animation and i am suffering for it (says the person who was suffering with the previous one i tried TuT)
ANYHOW ENOUGH RAMBLING, TAKE ZEROX MESMERIZER >:)
edit: yall i was so tired i forgot my watermark... get it together, brain!!
#megaman#megaman x#mega man#rockman x#rockman#mmx#mmx x#mmx zero#zerox#xzero#i suppose???#mesmerizer#brushie's vocaloid/megaman thing#ALSO I SWEAR I'M TRYING TO GET THE ANIMATION RELATED TO THIS DONE#I PROMISE IT'LL BE DONE AT SOME POINT#also idgaf if this is kinda cringe/outdated/whatever#i wanted to do vocaloid based stuff and at the time i made the list this was popular so-#take that :P#also apologies for the shoddy stripe work#i hated every second of drawing those stripes
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Oh man they are probably my fav tbna characters but also i'm unable to draw them idkk </3 i had at least once
#idkkk why it's much easier to draw other characters but not them#but have this... i hated every second spent on Easthies' outfit btw#tbna's designs are so good but also so detailed for me.. i'm a super simple design artist#easthies#utowin#easwin#i believe it's the ship name#witch hat atelier#tongari boushi no atelier#witch hat atelier fanart#fanart#my art
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Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.
Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!
And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.
Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!
But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!
#I have some actual gripes but that's just me being pedantic about something I know a lot about#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#loz link#loz botw#loz totk#the legend of zelda#totk link#lu wild#Okay but please stop making his teleportation a point of interest to the chain they ALL can warp it's not even slightly special#And the slate/pad doesn't hold any items I'm begging you that's just fanon it's never been canon or been implied to be#Travelling across hyrule (on horseback) is about a week and a half following the paths at a walk. Rito to lurelin. It's not weeks on foot t#Hyrule Castle!!#This isn't a problem but like. Let link be petty brats to civilians occasionally. It's enrichment. They all have beef with some rando.#They're all extremely polite and let people get away with more than they maybe should but like. Adults starting smth with a 16yo.#Also wild has serious beef with ganon why does everyone write him so chill. Like botw sure but totk?? Absolutely not.#'wah my home is in ruins it's all my fault' it's been like that for yonks no one's even mad and hello?? Miles on miles on untouched#Landscapes?? Millenia of ruins indistinguishable from the recent stuff?? Link literally died he could not have done any more#How anyone can play botw/totk and not be BLISTERINGLY proud of hyrule I don't know#Okay but why does everyone (particularly legend omg) always bitterly blame hylia like loz has a dozen odd deities and hylia is the ONE who#Got cursed right alongside link. It's just... Idk but it seems like such a culturally Christian thing. All the focus on one who then gets#Blamed for everything in life going wrong. Not even Christian but specifically American Catholic. I don't know.#Hylia is the one deity we can pretty safely assume is neither omnipotent or omniscient lmao#In every time she has a voice (botk/ss) she pretty clearly mucks up or gets tricked and has regrets#In ss when she was zelda she hated every second of leading link around and even then it all hinged on link being completely willing!!#And then she got kidnapped anyway!#In totk (spoilers) she loses contact with one of her statues and asks link to check it out. Another statue gets POSESSED by ol triangle hea#And again link has to figure out the problem. Like even in her divine form she is so far from all knowing and all doing.#It's a lot of conflating with the concept of fate maybe?
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OC Redesign
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about Tessa and Static Sky. I just don't think her character design appeals to enough people, especially with the comments I get that she looks like a man, and I'm worried people might be off-put by having to look at a woman over the age of 25. If this is a comic I want to be successful in the future, it's good to consider what other people want to see! That being said, I've done extensive research into what people consider appealing female character design, and I've been watching anime lately too for inspiration. I'd like to talk about some of the things I considered when overhauling her design.
Firstly I've decided she looks a lot younger now, her regenerative abilities are so strong they've started to reverse the aging process, so now she looks like a tween even though she's 94 :) Very youthful and much easier on the eyes! Also, because she's an assassin, surely it would help to have some Distracting Assets. Which is totally fine and legal, because she's an adult that just LOOKS like a kid, don't worry about it. It makes her enemies miss their shots because they're too busy looking at her chest, and she can seduce her enemies easily instead of having to go through the trouble of fighting them! (And it makes the merchandise sell like hot cakes, too.) I gave her a skirt because women shouldn't wear pants under any circumstances, not even if they have a very physically active lifestyle where a skirt would be completely inappropriate. Plus it gives the opportunity for lots of panty shots in the action sequences 😏 Which, reminder, is totally fine because she's actually 94! Ignore the part where she looks 12, this isn't weird at all, I swear. She's legal, it's fine! Her regenerative ability is also solar powered now, so she has to show more skin to recover faster. When she gets injured she needs to go out into the desert and sunbathe in a tiny bikini to heal her injuries. I think there will be a whole chapter dedicated to this idea. It's not for fan service, it's for the story, I swear. It makes sense in-universe. Trust me guys it makes total sense if you just read th
#april fools#doodles#art#tessa#static sky#what do you guys think :) i'm very proud of this redesign i think its gonna be a hit#this is an april fools post and i hated every second of it
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