#I'm giving Kobb its own Revali ehehe

[bugcatcherwill]

Rage Against the Calamity - Chapter 58: Hylian and Rito Hospitality

Bokoblins, Moblins, Lizalfos, and Wizzrobe. One of each has managed to break free from the Malice that binds them. With their tie to Ganon gone, these monsters must fight to survive in a world where everything wants them dead. Yet, things are not always what they seem. For as unforgiving a land as Hyrule, it will continue to surprise even the most hopeless hearts. This is the story of those four monsters, and all their unlikely allies…

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It was a few hours into the afternoon and all of Akkala Stable was in a ruckus. Rudi's loose lips had keyed everyone in on the Lab's little secret before they planned on breaking the news, and the stable's reaction was exactly what Hoz had been trying to avoid. The residents and travelers alike yammered on and on about the situation, the implications, and most importantly, what to do. Hoz's pencil-thin mustache twitched in aggravation as the mini-crowd refused to settle down. Desperately he tried to gain control.

"My fellow Hylians, can we please simmer down?" he said, getting completely ignored. He removed the steel soldier's helmet on his head, a relic of the past that was still in pristine condition, and clanged against it with his fist several times.

"Again, can we please have some quiet to discuss this?"

A few members of the crowd softened up, but the loudest ones only raised their voice - too enraptured by their own conversation to notice.

"HEY!!!" Rudi, the stablehand next to him, shouted as loud as he possibly could. That inflection was only used when he really needed to get control of the horses, but it worked on Hylians well enough too. The entire stable turned white-eye, even those that had stopped talking long ago, and brought their attention to Hoz and Rudi standing atop chairs.

"Now then," Hoz said, pinching his dark brown goatee, "let's try our best to come to a consensus civilly and quietly. Of course, we wouldn't have to shout if Rudi kept his damn mouth shut until now, but I digress."

The grizzled dirty-blond Hylian twirled one of his hair tassels bashfully. He couldn't help but blab, with his whole job involving shooting the breeze with the entire stable. Still, looking at the panicked faces below him, he felt quite a bit of regret.

"Since no doubt everyone has a different account of what happened in their head, despite only us two even being there, I'm going to clear the air and tell you all exactly what I saw. Alright?"

Hoz was already preparing for the worst. When you have the job of the only "soldier" in that region, a lot of your dealings with the public involve wild goose chases and petty squabbles where nobody could get their story straight. Weakly, several faces in the crowd silently nodded, letting him finally speak his mind.

"Good. Okay, this all happened during my morning patrol. I heard a commotion at the Lab up the hill, and I found Robbie and a few Sheikah trying to wrangle an Eldin Ostrich around. You all know Robbie, right?"

Those that lived around the stable and the regular merchants all let out a round of staggered 'Yea…'s, having seen the man come down for food and supplies numerous times. Although most interestingly, his grocery list had amplified nearly tenfold in recent weeks.

"I also, however, saw an assortment of monsters run out of the Lab, too. But the shocking part was their demeanor. None of them acted like usual monsters, and they seemed to help the Sheikahs wrangle the bird, yelling words of their own, though I couldn't hear what they were saying. I saw a Lizalfos, a Blue Moblin, and two Wizzrobe amongst them. Once they managed to get ahold of the ostrich, they all grouped together and walked to the back. That was the last I saw of them today. Rudi can vouch for me because he saw most of it, too…"

Eyes turned to the stablehand and he nodded confidently, his bushy handlebar mustache covering his slight frown. Hoz continued.

"To tell you the truth, it was actually…pretty funny to witness. Never seen a Moblin panic like that before, heh," he said to a very tepid crowd, forcing him to awkwardly clear his throat, "But as you can see, there's been no monster attack on the stable, or anything of the sort. There were no burnt crops, poisoned wells, or mind-controlled Hylians. I'm sure we would have noticed some of the outlandish things I've heard this morning, and I'd like to remind you all that rumors are dangerous. They can very easily lead to unneeded panic and mass hysteria, which is why I try to do my job as best as I can - to prevent these misunderstandings."

A few members of the crowd tugged at the collars of their shirts - embarrassed that they did exactly that.

"But that still leaves the unanswered question of why we saw non-hostile monsters seemingly living with Robbie and whatever other Sheikah were up there. I'm sure if I just paid him a visit, we could get an answer straight from the horse's mouth."

Like steam erupting from a kettle the entire crowd exploded with negative rebuttals - nearly screaming at Hoz to let him know their opinion on his idea. The soldier recoiled back holding his open palms out while fists were raised in objection.

"What are you, crazy?!"

"You got a death wish, Hoz?"

"No! Don't go up there!"

Hoz finally raised his voice loud enough to carry over the rest.

"Whoa, whoa, HEY!" he shouted, Rudi nodding with a stuck-out lower lip showing even he was impressed with that one, "Now I've known Robbie ever since I got stationed here! He's been nothing but kind to all of us and even solved a few of our problems. It's hard to believe he'd be up to anything malicious after all he's done to keep this stable safe…"

He deliberately left out the fact that Robbie had recently used the de-aging rune on himself, knowing it'd only seed more panic and crackpot theories. Rudi gave Hoz a side-eye, knowing the Sheikah man's secret too, but let it slide for now. That still did little to temper the growing mob. Many voiced objections, with one in particular patiently raising their hand to have the floor.

"Didn't you hear about what happened at Hateno? You used to live there didn't you, Hoz? It was all because of the Sheikah Lab there, and they were hiding monsters, too! The woman responsible and the monsters were never found in the wreckage, either! It must be the same group, and the same might happen to us!"

More jeers were hurled that made Hoz wince painfully. He just knew this would come up if he had this meeting.

"I've heard the stories, yes. It's nearly impossible to get anywhere in Hyrule without hearing it," he said, crossing his arms and desperately trying to maintain the voice of reason, "But remember what I just said about rumors? Or do you think they did exactly what we're doing now? Riling ourselves up over nothing but assumptions!"

He was met with immediate anger, an unknown patron going so far to hurl a crumpled up piece of paper at Hoz - bouncing harmlessly on his head.

"You're calling children almost getting eaten an assumption?!"

This was already spiraling out of control. Fists balled with exasperation, Hoz stomped his leather boot on the chair and nearly cracked it. Just enough silence broke for him to speak.

"Remember the Fang and Bone incident? The whole reason I came up to Akkala? Eeeeveryone was coming to me terrified of some evil dark-magic wizard that was selling severed monster heads and trying to kidnap children in the night! And because of all that I almost cut down some weird eccentric, but ultimately harmless, Hylian in cold blood! What an awkward apology that was, right?! And I feel like the only one still feeling guilty about it! Sound familiar to you?"

For the briefest of moments, the mob felt a modicum of shame. The near-trance they were snapped out of forced them to look at each other's panicked ghost-white faces and actually think about the logical next steps. Thankfully for them, a stray voice was not so easily swayed by reason and enabled them to throw the blinders on their brains once again.

"But this time it's an actual monster! Scratch that, monsters! More than one! We have to do something!"

The steaming kettle whistled again, the crowd now all yelling their various ideas - none of them particularly pleasant. Hoz threw his fists downwards and glared into each and every face he could see.

"Well I'm not giving any of you the key to the munitions shack until I see some proof that we should resort to that!" he shouted so forcefully his helmet went askew, squinting his eyes nearly shut and pointing his finger so fiercely it could poke an eye out, "And the key isn't even on me - it's hidden well. So good luck with…whatever you plan to do unless you convince me those monsters I saw are an actual threat! I was sent here to keep you all safe, and that includes stopping you from yourselves!"

The bloodlust in the Hylians' eyes finally relinquished, if only for a moment. While they were an angry mob, they were an angry mob confined by the superficial barrier of politeness. They could, for all intents and purposes, simply bust down the walls of the shack and grab whatever torches, swords, and bows were stocked there. But that would go against their idea of law - regardless of whatever they were going to do with them immediately afterwards that directly broke said law. Almost acting like a representative, a lone Hylian separated from the sea of the crowd. He was one of the permanent residents of the Akkala Stable that went by the name Khini.

"Well you can twiddle your thumbs and wait for something bad to happen! We will find the evidence ourselves to ensure our children can sleep safely each night!" he said with a huff, practically dismissing the crowd by himself.

Some Hylians dispersed entirely, realizing they still had their daily work and schedules to keep track of. A decently sized portion stayed, however, following Khini almost like how ducklings follow their mother. Exhausted bags under his eyes, looking as though he missed several nights of sleep, Hoz turned to Rudi who just morbidly chuckled in response.

"Now do you see what I put up with on a daily basis before you got here?" the stablehand said.

The soldier rolled his eyes, getting a sudden desire to reach for his flask normally reserved for nightly fun and take a long swig.

"I don't know why you didn't side with them considering how you reacted this morning," he said disdainfully. Rudi scoffed and readjusted Hoz's helmet with a petty flick of the finger.

"Tch. I'd sooner try to keep a Lynel in the stables. Besides, now that I've had time to think, all of this seems…off. I've seen monsters. Too many monsters. Those monsters I saw…they were monsters, all right, but they weren't monsters. I would like to know what really went down at Hateno."

Hoz wearily sat down in his chair and pouted, his thin mustache shifting to the left and to the right.

"You could come up with me and ask them, like my original suggestion."

"Do you think they will let us get further than ten steps?" Rudi said, motioning to the rowdy circle of Hylians plotting around a nearby table.

"Grrgh…fair point."

…

While Teba properly led Kobb up and down the village, the Bokoblin nearly gave itself whiplash from spinning its head around. It hadn't gotten the chance to admire the scenery when it was led around bound by rope, but now that Kobb could go as it pleased its hands spent a good amount of time gripping the wooden railings as it gazed across the lake and every which way between. Its large snout vibrated in content with every breath, desperate to keep that fresh breezy pine smell. Many of the other Rito denizens found Kobb pleasantly endearing, often laughing or smiling at its reactions. It'd been quite some time since there was a new visitor to the Village, let alone a special case like Kobb - and it was always entertaining to see someone's first experience. 

Before long the sweet and savory smells of cooking all around it started to get to Kobb, its mouth subconsciously watering. It had missed lunch due to this whole debacle and Teba could hear the angry complaints of its stomach. Stifling a grin, he led Link and the Bokoblin all the way down the spiral boardwalk to the floating fish farms that encompassed the rock archipelago of Rito Village. Kobb was in awe at how well everything was seemingly built into nature. For a while it forgot about the hunger pangs and just watched the Rito fishers walk all around the bobbing wooden platforms, peering into the square holes that led to the netted tanks, occasionally pulling a fish out to measure and weigh it, before taking notes and tossing it back in.

When it was ready, all Kobb had to do was pick out a fish from the tanks deemed "ready to eat", and the Ritos there would gut and prepare it on the spot. Link was there to help it choose a nice healthy one. From there all they had to do was walk back up and either cook it themselves, or pay someone at the inn to cook it for them. With a hearty wave Teba took off to meet them at the top - using the updrafts from the lake to soar all the way up. Kobb and Link had to take the grueling stairs.

But the effort it took made the first bite of seared Hylian Trout all the more divine.

Kobb softly squealed in delight the moment the flaky buttery fish passed its lips. The tips of its ears twitched in delight, leaning its head back with eyes closed, ready to dive in for more. It had to hold back its ravenous appetite just to savor every bite. Zayl's cooking was objectively better, but the fish being as fresh as can possibly be was hard to beat. Although it made sure to take notes watching the dish get prepared - ready to ask Zayl to replicate it as soon as it'd return. Both Kobb and Link ate at the table in Teba's house, sharing their meal with him and his wife Saki. She had been brought up to speed long ago, but there was a difference between that and actually sitting this close to a Bokoblin. Regardless, she welcomed Kobb with a smile and gave it a wide hug with her bright purple wings, telling it that every guest always gets a "mom hug". Link tried to tiptoe away, not exactly the most touchy-feely with most people, but was grabbed by the shirt collar and hugged all the same.

"You know, I never expected Bokoblins to look so adorable up close…" she whispered to Teba, who playfully rolled his eyes and pushed her on the shoulder. There was still an empty seat, one higher up and smaller than the rest, and Saki's impatience soon showed.

"Oh where in Hyrule is that boy, he disappears like a falcon in an updraft, I swear…" she grumbled, getting up and sticking her head out of their open-wall house. Link gave Teba a smarmy little eyebrow raise, who rolled his eyes again. He never liked to raise his voice, personally.

"Tulin! I told you already, dinner's done! Don't let it get cold!" she shouted, her voice echoing through the whole village and giving Kobb some secondhand embarrassment.

Less than a minute later it saw the spitting image of Teba, only much smaller, bobbing up and down as the Rito child ran as fast as his tiny legs could carry him. Unlike Teba, the little one's eyes sparkled like his mother's. His wings were mostly developed, but Kobb doubted he'd be able to fly like the grown Rito for at least another few years. That didn't stop him from trying - taking a big leap every few steps and flapping his wings frantically to slow his descent ever so slightly.

"Aw, c'mon, mom!" Tulin whined before getting promptly scooped up in her wings, "I was on a mission!"

Saki giggled and nuzzled her beak into her child's feathers, tickling him as he kicked his talons playfully.

"Ohhhh is that so? Well your new mission is to finish that plate in front of you, so my little fledgling can grow big and strong like your father!" she said, plopping him down in his seat and tying a handkerchief around his neck. Tulin immediately began scarfing his meal down, needing a little correction on manners, before finally looking up and nearly jumping out of his seat when he saw the familiar Hylian at the table - somehow completely glossing over the Bokoblin also across from him.

"Link!" he cried, the Hylian giving him a little wave, "You're here again! I've done so much since last time!"

Link leaned forward with an elbow on the table and the hand on his chin, giving Tulin his undivided attention.

"Oh, you have?" he said with a warm smile, playing the role of a visiting uncle, "What have you been up to since I've been gone?"

Tulin's eyes lit up again and immediately began talking a mile a minute.

"So first I flew all around Hyrule three times! And then I beat up a Stone Talus with my friend Molli all by ourselves! And then I used my bow to hit an apple from a THOUSAND steps away! And then…"

The Rito child chirped on and on but Link stayed attentive the whole time, egging on Tulin to go into the thrilling details, which he did with great embellishment. Teba and Saki couldn't help but smile when they looked at each other, seeing Tulin's beaming face. Eventually he was running out of his 'missions' to talk about and his attention strayed, finally noticing Kobb that had been sitting at the table the entire time.

"Whoa! You're a Bokoblin!" he said, pointing his wing towards Kobb's large snout. Teba and Saki tensed up a little, wondering what either of their reactions would be. Kobb simply straightened its back and puffed out its chest slightly.

"Yes I am!" it said matter-of-factly, having at least some experience with the boundlessly energetic youth thanks to Ashen. Tulin's eyes sparkled with intrigue as he had never actually seen a Bokoblin in real life before - only in picture books and stories.

"That's so cool! …Can I fight you?"

"Tulin!" Teba and Saki shouted in unison, their feathers ruffling from embarrassment as they tried to quell his loose beak. Meanwhile Link and Kobb nearly choked trying not to laugh from the sheer brazenness of the child.

"What? I could see what it's like to fight a real Boko-mmph mmpph!" he tried to say before Saki covered his beak.

"Heh, kids can be pretty blunt sometimes, huh?" she said, blushing through her purple and white feathers, trying to deflect from the faux pas.

Kobb just laughed it off, much to their relief.

"Heh. It is fine. I am used to bluntness - though mostly from ones much older than this one…" it said with a morbid chuckle before turning to the Rito child, "Tulin, you hopefully will not need to fight any Bokoblins, but when you are old enough to hold a sword on your own we can have a friendly spar."

A muffled "Woo-Hoo!" could be heard behind Saki's wing, causing both the mother and the father to sigh. Thankfully that day seemed far enough away that they wouldn't have to worry about it for a while.

Once dinner was finished, Teba took Kobb and Link over to Revali's Landing - which offered a beautiful view of the sunset. The whole time Kobb sat itself next to Link on one of the benches, it was approached by several of the Rito children. Before one even walked up, Kobb spotted the whole gaggle of them watching from a distance - arguing amongst each other over who should go up to it first. One-by-one they took their turn running up to Kobb and either saying some childish quip, or making a playfully rude gesture and running away frantically giggling. Sometimes Kobb would return the gesture or stick out its tongue and make a raspberry sound, causing the small Rito to laugh even harder and sprint back to the group. With every visit it'd look back at Link and exchange a knowing glance.

"You'll get used to it, they don't see non-Rito that often - especially in times like these." Link said, having dealt with this exact bombardment of nosy fledglings, himself. Just as he said that, another one ran up to Kobb.

"If…if you're a Bokobwin, where's your cwub?" she said, leaning forward and back on her talons with wings politely held behind her back.

"I do not have one!" it said with a shrug, "I prefer a sword, like how some Ritos do not use a bow."

"Oooooo…pwefer…that's neat! Mother warned me not to talk to the Bokobwin, but you're pwetty nice!"

That last comment especially broke Kobb's heart and it had to restrain itself from showing too much emotion as the child bounded back to the group, the rest of the fledglings cheering her on and patting her on the back before finally running off somewhere else. With a deep breath Kobb stood up and looked out from the landing across Hebra. But it didn't have a chance to dwell for long as it was interrupted by stomping footsteps and a loud AH-HEM.

It turned to see exactly what it hoped wouldn't be there: a very pissed-off Thrush standing before it with his wings crossed in a withheld rage. Kobb's attention turned to a spot on the Rito's leather tunic. It was pristine and unblemished unlike the rest of the uniform - with holes around the outline where stitching once was. The shape was that of the crest Kobb has spotted throughout the village and on the other Rito guards. The two stared each other down - Kobb matching Thrush's scowl as it had yet to hear a genuine apology from him. And it didn't think that was why he came. Once again several other nosy Rito perched around the landing, waiting to see the conclusion of this altercation.

Without a word Thrust reached his wing up and behind his head, prompting Kobb to instinctively grasp at its sheathed sword. However the disgraced Rito Captain didn't reach for his bow. With a near silent poink he yanked a good-sized feather out of his plumage. It was a beautiful deep sea green, perfectly uniform in hue. The feather was then whipped towards the Bokoblin with a sharp fwish. The pointy end stuck perfectly between the wooden planks of the landing right at Kobb's feet. The crowd gasped and murmurs filled the surrounding pine air. Kobb looked down then back up at Thrush, feeling more out of loop than ever, its scowl replaced with a surprised confusion.

"Well?! What is your answer, monster?" he shouted, beak quivering in rage, "I cannot sink lower than I already have so I might as well take you down with me!"

The Bokoblin's perplexed stare continued.

"You're being challenged to a duel of Rito combat…" Teba muttered, leaning over into Kobb's ear.

"...to the death?" Kobb asked back, shocked at the assumption that Thrush would risk his life to prove a point like this. Teba burst in a deep laugh, not expecting that question.

"No, but close! To establish the pecking order. To claim yourself as the superior fighter. Although for non-Ritos, I wouldn't-"

"I accept." Kobb said, snapping its head towards the challenger without even hearing the rest. While it wasn't the vengeful type, the prospect of knocking Thrush down a peg or two was too tantalizing to ignore especially when the memories of that morning were still fresh and bitter in its mind.

"Wait, Kobb…don't-" Link tried to say, knowing the Bokoblin was being hustled and it knew none of the details involving Rito duels. But it was too late now that the growing crowd had heard it say yes. Another gasp followed, along with Thrush beginning a quiet chuckle that grew to a roaring cackle.

"Hah! Haha! Ahahaha! I can't believe it! You actually accepted! No backing down now! See you at the range in two days, hope you can grow wings before then! You probably should have listened to your Hylian friend!"

Thrush leapt up into the air triumphantly and circled around the main spire several more times before flying off out of sight - his maniacal laughter carrying throughout the air. Feeling more sheepish than ever, Kobb turned with purple-flushed cheeks towards Link and Teba, who both looked at the Bokoblin with unamused frowns.

"I…what should I do now?" it asked, knowing better than to make excuses for the situation it sprinted head-first into.

"Now," Link said, pinching the bridge of his nose with an all-too-familiar migraine, "we get your archery up to snuff and somehow teach you to fly because your mouth talked faster than your brain…"