#I'm getting very last straw on the camels back lately with the only two people I know being very not good for my mental health

[scenicphoenix]

My social anxiety is much much worse than I thought it was. :)

[annabel-lee-nevermore]

Hey. I'm sure all of you have seen Red's post, which they chose to call an apology (though I beg to differ in some parts), where I was called out amongst many others. This whole situation is a mess and though there have been many posts already, I just want to add my two cents, as someone who was directly named. Apologies for how late this is compared to the rest of the situation, not trying to stir it all up again, I’ve just been busy. (Please note that everything I say here is my own take/opinions and I am not directly speaking for anyone else, any issues you have with anything said here are with me alone.) 

First of all, Red promised this post would be about the Crimson situation, the long prologue with the explanations of the "cliques" is completely unrelated and just an attempt to shift blame onto other groups for the situation blowing up as it did. This is especially horrible because of the fact that many of the people named are MINORS, who Red has constantly claimed to prioritize protecting, especially in the situation with Crimson exposing minors to NSFW. I'm not going to harp too much on the Crimson situation as I wasn't involved (or capable of being involved after my ban), though everything I have seen from Red has been a shitshow of mishandling, which they addressed, and I will give them credit for admitting they fucked up with it, and am VERY glad to see them step back from moderating, as I feel they were under far too much stress by both being highly active in the server as a mod and also trying to write a good story, and hope a larger variety of mods does the server good. I was there when the server hit 1k members, and knowing that the mod team didn’t grow until now (when last I heard it was around 6k?) feels like it would have driven anyone trying to moderate it insane. 

However, I am here to give my side of the story, which goes back to the drama with the confession blog "@/esoterichistoria", in which they were sent an anon ask which [paraphrased] asked why the account existed and what they got out of it, in a sense that implied they didn't believe the account should exist. This ask was not answered publicly and was screenshotted and posted in the hideout, one of the NON PATREON channels in the discord. Red then went on to reveal themselves as the person behind this anon ask which led to other people sending harassment to the account. I was firmly on the side of supporting EH, and wound up creating a post of my own  calling out the hypocrisy and "word of god" reliance on lore snippets sent by Red and Flynn in the discord, which when sent in the free channels would eventually disperse into the tumblr fandom. Unless I mistakenly shared a minor fact that was patreon exclusive (which would have only been shared to me by someone who was affected asking if they were right to be concerned about it) I did not intentionally state any patreon only information in any of my comments within and under that post. 

That post for me, was what happened when the straw broke the camel's back. I had seen several instances of fan to fan hostility (such as telling people off for using the tumblr "#nevermore webtoon" tag for confession blog related posts, but only for the original blog and not the second one that popped up during this drama). I was fed up with watching a fandom I truly loved fall apart, and felt that speaking up about it would be the only way to see any change within this issue. However, I will admit the post was written in a stress induced craze as I was at the end of finals and preparing to move at the same time, which definitely greatly impacted my capacity to truly think through why I should make that post in the first place, but I felt the only way to get the drama out of my head was to send it out into the void of tumblr, and then, through the next day when I had a few spare moments I responded to a few people asking clarifying questions with less than stellar tact. 

It was quite shocking for me to find out, just a day or so later (forgive me I am not the greatest with dates or timelines) that the Nevermore discord was gone from my server list, which I mainly noticed because I often use the emotes from that server in casual conversations with friends, and found my favorited emotes completely lacking of them. I had no message of why I had been banned, and shrugged it off as I hadn't been active in the discord community in ages, as I was busy with other things. 

A few hours later, Percy, who Red had reached out to directly (but none of the other members of our "clique" as Red puts it heard a peep) shared a truly baffling DM that consisted of refusing to explain and extrapolating reasons behind actions that did not exist to justify the ban. We laughed it off and moved on, as though we enjoyed the fandom and comic itself, losing access to the discord was no loss as of our lack of usage of it in the first place. 

I was in no way Stalking, nor were any of my friends. We had been members of a fandom who loved the comic and fandom, and had come to a point where our unpopular fandom opinions led us to feel a bit on the outside of the main popular opinion, and we were also just naturally shifting to different interests. 

This, alongside the fallout of having expressed opinions on Montresor and the specific ways that his relationship with Ada progressed. I DON'T see people who ship Montrada as supporting a "SA Fetish Ship", I just personally wasn't a fan of it and alongside my friends who shared the same opinion, was sick of being told that we were blatantly WRONG for having a differing opinion, and chose to distance ourselves because of the level of vitriol we had experienced, and some made a statement saying we didn't wish to associate with people who enjoyed the ship, which is a perfectly normal way to interact with fandom. There are definitely perfectly valid ways to interact with the ship, and even explore it in interesting ways, it is just ways that I personally am not interested in engaging with. 

(And just to point out the elephant in the room, yes I have a fic that focuses on Montrada, both because I saw a part of my former self in Ada and someone who hurt me in Montresor, and this fic was planned out long before Montrada was hinting at becoming canon in the comic. Though this fic is written in an explicit manner, it was on a site that allows that and was tagged correctly for those who wish to avoid it.) 

I know I'm trying to prove myself to people who have made up their minds on if they believe Red's statement, and I know for those who have their minds made up, nothing I can say will change that unless they are willing to, and I can't force that. I personally do not agree with many opinions Red holds, and find the act of plastering the usernames of people, including minors, that they dislike on a public tumblr post knowing they have a loyal fanbase who may choose to take it upon themselves to harass people out of a sense of vigilante justice, frankly abhorrent and irresponsible. Though I would like to believe that the Nevermore fandom is better than stooping to harassment, I know it is naive to believe in any fandom that this is the case, every fandom will have a few bad apples, even if the fandom at large is kind and passionate and supportive of fellow fans. (note: as of writing at least one person I've been in contact with have received direct harassment) 

As someone who has a tendency to come across as rude and bitchy when in a passionate argument/debate with someone, especially when an emotional connection to the subject is involved on my end, I know I may have been combative to an excessive degree and given myself a bad name. For anyone who has felt hurt in an argument with me, I do apologize, as sometimes I don't know the harshness of my words. I do quite enjoy a good argument, and when things get heated I do find myself being quite harsh, something many people do, especially when they have had a history of being the only one on their side of an opinion.  

Despite the drama, I do still love the comic, through a more analytical lens and with caveats of my own personal opinions perhaps, but I do truly love the characters, the world, and am curious to know what comes next in the story when it returns from hiatus. Though I don't believe I will ever have a positive view of Red interpersonally, I want them and Flynn to be able to continue the comic for as long as they feel they need to tell a complete story. I probably will continue to write fic and engage with the fandom, as in my opinion, Fandom is for the Fans, not the Creators, and I truly do love sharing my writing with the Fandom, and I have many fic ideas that I want to have a chance to bring to fruition. 

For those who don't wish to dig in deep on the older drama with the Montrada situation or my general drama hot takes, you can hop off here, and even if this didn't change anything for you I appreciate you taking the chance on hearing me out, as I am quite wordy and I know this post is already rather long. However, since Red’s post brought up these issues, I feel I should at least address them.

First off, on the accusation of stalking, I do feel Red may be pointing a finger and forgetting that three point back at them, as though I do understand wanting to have a grasp on who someone is when you feel wronged by them, going out of your way to construct a narrative of who's friends with who, and what they do in their free time, alongside congregating information about them to share publicly when even in the best case of you being correct their crimes were at MOST having an insular group chat and occasionally getting in arguments about unpopular fandom opinions or standing opposite your side in drama. 

By every metric, while sharing screenshots can be seen as in bad taste, doing so with a small group of friends in a private group chat is not the end of the world. The phrase "keep it in the group chat" exists for a reason, people often share with their friends things they may not say publicly, and that is perfectly okay provided it's not planning some sort of direct attack on someone. People going "ugh I don't agree with xyz and wish they'd see reason" to friends is not stalking, it's a bit of gossip between friends, and when it comes from something that began as a shared interest that brought the group together, there's no harm in it. However, congregating identifying information and sharing it publicly DOES have harm in it, because no matter how many times you tell your audience not to harass people, opening the doors for it makes it more likely to happen regardless.

Secondly, calling the post an apology was a half truth. Yes, the final paragraphs WERE an apology, but based on the situation and what was truly going on, the explanations of the Cliques was unnecessary and distracted greatly from the actual apology present. Especially as the context of “Clique 2” does NOTHING to add to the story of the situation with Crimson and why an apology is necessary. The situation was blown greatly out of proportion by adding on more context than the situation required, and is definitely the reason the controversy has grown so large. Not only was diverting to the explanations of the Cliques cluttering the otherwise potentially strong apology, it both works to paint Red as the victim to garner sympathy from loyal fans, and gives a target to go after for why the situation has grown so horrible, when a concise apology that left that all out would have cleared the air on the Crimson situation and not led to a large group of people who were unjustly called out and have their information blasted for anyone to see and opening them to excessive harassment. 

Finally, Speaking to Red directly, If you'll allow me to speak at you a bit personally for a moment, the way you framed things in your post regarding "Clique 2" to me in some regards comes across as a misinterpretation of criticism of the comic and its characters as a criticism of you. As a writer I understand how your work often feels like an extension of you, and criticism often feels personal, but to take a small group of people who share a similar criticism and extrapolate it to mean they're spreading vitriol about you is a bit extreme. 

(And in screenshots regarding the Prospero aromanticism issue that have been posted to tumblr, this seems to be a recurring pattern of seeing anyone who has concerns about how a certain aspect is being normalized within the fandom with encouragement from the creators, which regardless of intent comes across as endorsement, as an attack and trying to make an issue out of something that isn’t really that deep.) 

Anyways, the main situation regarding the Montresor and Ada ship happened over a year ago and I have no way to access or look back on what was said having been banned from the discord, there may be discrepancies in intent and execution so take all of this with a grain of salt if you'd like, but I never meant to say that you as the author were glorifying SA by having Montresor and Ada to exist as a ship. It was a mixture frustration with how Ada's characterization (as interpreted by what existed in the comic) did a 180 and how the relationship between her and Monty was framed and the fandom's manner of acting as if saying that it personally made someone uncomfortable they were just a hater trying to stir drama. The fandom's usage of the phrase “fun toxic” and overromanticizing when Monty had been consistently characterized as misogynistic (not a bad thing) and Ada's prior characterization didn't line up with the “mutually toxic” idea that was being spread. I'd be a hypocrite if I was saying that every ship had to be morally pure, I've written some pretty morally bankrupt relationships in my own original works. I just found that the way the fandom acted around Montrada at the time was really uncomfortable to be around as an SA survivor simply because of the way people were changing their opinions of the barking scene, which to me with just the context of the scene itself was not at all something Ada did consensually (or only did under coercion) and is a form of humiliation which is sexual harassment. 

It was never a moral righteousness witch hunt or anything, more just some fans pointing out how the portrayal of it could come off to people who was a survivor of someone who acted like Monty and that the energy in the fandom around it was uncomfortable and didn't actually leave room for nuance on the opinions of Montrada. I have always been a proponent of letting people ship what they want to, even if it’s personally not what I enjoy in the fandom. Perhaps the way it was portrayed on my end at the time didn’t come off the way it was intended, but there is a massive difference in my opinion between thinking anyone who enjoys a particular ship is evil and being personally uncomfortable with a ship and not wanting to engage with it within fandom, even with it being canon. And the preference for Morella and Ada was never upholding a "morally pure" ship as "better" than Montrada, it was simply preference from people who had already been shipping Morellada for a long time and didn't choose to abandon ship over Montrada becoming canon, only finding new reasons to continue holding that opinion. 

All in all. I’ll miss when the good times of the fandom were around, and definitely will stick around for season 2. I wish it hadn’t all turned out this way, as I’ve made great memories and friends because of this comic and community. To anyone who still has questions or something to say to me, my ask box and dms here have always been open. And hey, if Red or Flynn have anything to say to me, feel free to reach out. I’m open to a civil conversation if that's what’s desired. 

~~ Rose, of the “dark stalker Clique”

[talesofthementallyill]

June 4, 2023

Not sure why but I have decided to start a blog/public journal/whatever this turns into but mostly imma just write whatever i feel like and that's that. So first things first (I'm the realest) lately has been a lot to deal with. My partner's truck went kaput and now i'm having to drive everywhere (major vom alert if you knew me) even worse I had to drive to DI saturday and it was kinda scary and i got a lil dizzy but we made it to and fro in one piece. Speaking of the DI trip I thought i was bad about the water but boy I practically had to DRAG my partner out of it. OMFG but honestly it maybe made me love him even more. Like at least now I know if I ever wanna go to the beach he will no doubt go with me. On the other hand though going to the beach made me sad because I went with my bsf and she has a baby and so she didn't really get in the water because she was having to cater to him and that no doubt is another reason I'm getting my tubes removed asap i do not wanna be held back in life and that's all i see children are they hold you back from being your happiest you wanna go out ope gotta drag this parasite with you like no ma'am no sir no fucking thank you but it made me sad because i remember when i would visit before moving and boy were we wild in the water; we would fight waves like no other and we would be like chest deep in the water digging in the sand for shells (but lemme be real with you chief i would i would just stand there holding on for dear life i was what the kids called supporting cast) and now that shes a mom we cant do that anymore and even worse is shes most likely moving after the summer and i have no one but my partner when she leaves. I've tried finding other friends and i had one for a few months but omfg i hated her she was obnoxious and the straw that pretty much broke the camels back was she was trying to pet one of our hamster despite the fact i told her hes not a touchy pet we just feed them water them and look at them and even worse when she reached in he screamed (did you know hamsters scream when theyr'e scared?) and she thought it was sooo funny she HAD to snapchat it to friends so she made him scream not one not two but like six fucking times im truly amazed and bewildered as to him surviving and she hasn't been allowed over since and i have seen her once since then and she guilted me into bringing her food and even sent me money despite the fact i told her no and then ONLY reason i stayed her friend is cause she had my very first ever piece and i wanted it back before i ghosted her so that last time i got it then i have been ghosting her since and i feel NOTHING. No guilt. No regret. Nothing She traumatized one of my animals and despite the fact i've never really loved on him hes one of my babies.

Wow this is a novel good luck to the zero people that read it

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Do we think that maybe the whole Kobe Bryant thing is the straw that broke the camel's back?

Its just something more real to us

To those people watching basket ball and enjoying life while all those human traffic victims work underground...

Its finally just that one well hello... The world aint been as good as we thought?

I remember when Kobe was accused of rape and it hurt my heart and i was shocked and i did check in with the development of the story.

I'm not taking sides. I'm not saying anything about him just how it hurt me.

And so... Earlier i watched a video about Auschwitz i posted here an i cried during it. It was so difficult and so bad.

And so maybe Kobe Bryant represents to SOME people something different. Like the death of their own innocence.

Like their favorite toothpaste was made by a slave and they never knew.

I mean the world is going through something tragic. Not just the deaths

But Auschwitz. I know some of our human traffic victims were gassed. And i know some died just this year.

And so i know what we are hearing about and thinking about is simply tragic.

Every single of our gassing victims were brought back to life relatively immediately and i hadn't posted about them because that's not what we want to know about. I did post about the gassing we prevented but there was gassing after. But they were revived.

So i didn't think of it before. I just wanted people yo have space and their ability to have their own time and way to grieve or deal with what they needed to in regards to Kobe Bryant before anything other was said.

But for me there's things that will be the last thing i expect to just cause all the strength I had to just say... Hey babe it's time to cry now. Just go ahead and let it go. It may seem stupid or irrelevant but just let it go. And cry for days Just because i need to.

And I see a very deep theme with Kobe And his secret life parallel running with our planet's secret human slaves.

Much like a rainbow promise of an end.

Now there's no evidential facts posted now. So don't start throwing words. I ain't here to listen to you.

Im listening to what i see in this video. Because for the first time i said why haven't i seen people crying for hostages, human trafficked victims, and so on?

As many of you know I am blocked from a lot of media, being a POW.

So i have not seen any tears regarding human trafficking.

So I'm all why can't they make a huge deal of them? Why can't people cry over those that are being hurt?

Okay so never mind i just can't see it...

So I'm not throwing down about it.

But it's what side stepped me to seeing that this is a breaking point for many people

Its also a stepping point for others.

Its many things depending on your level of activity and understanding and busyness.

I am announcing on Sunday Friday night we will have devastating news followed by amazing news. So if you hated Kobe you will know why and you will be floored by your intuition. If you loved Kobe because you saw him play in his first year or because you only saw his good side, you will have a better grasp on the difficult time I had with Matt Hagan.

At any rate, regardless how you feel, please do tune in.

In the end... There will be no bad news about Kobe.

In the end i say. During you'll want to keep your vomit bags close to you and keep Tupac in your heart.

I've written about each topic that you'll see on Sunday. Friday.

The Magic Tree said he can make a version which will flow smoother. Because we had Part A and Part B which would make many people sick so he did from 2 hours to 1 and a half and it's a much happier story throughout so it's less traumatizing but will be over all shocking.

So that's on Sunday Friday night.

There are points where it is said that you should protect your child from the information. And there's a table of contents which will be available tonight here Which will let you know which break is for which.

For example break 1 is for the 2016 coverage. So then it will say break 1. So you refer to the table that will be pinned here to see what it is going to be about.

So if you don't want your self to see something graphic or your child you'll know to change the channel or put it on mute and look at your phone or what have you. Its color coded and a thin colored line will be at the top of the screen. So say break one is blue. A blue line will be on the top of the screen if you can't be handling such an issue and there's also going to be a time start that will be listed here.

So you'll see it's very traumatic and can be triggering and the information will be very detailed. With evidence. Which means videos of each event.

So the table of contents is very simple and can be misleading so you guys can kinda play around in your mind about what they mean

You will find how you have loyalty. To people or to truth or do you bow to intuition?

How do you think?

Did you have it toying at the back of your ear all along? Did you tell it to fuck off? Or did you like really feel the ill of it?

It's to help you learn yourself.

So we're not going to mess with your minds here. We will allow you to naturally flow through the information if you would like.

Mark Anthony is tripping on me. So i will say that number 2 has two ways... I think it's the best way yo say it. And currently only one way is in the video and at the end There will be a multiple answer question where you use the intuition you have to answer and there will be prizes just for answering which will differ on how you answer. So if you answer it correct the first time then it's a better prize then if it's you did the correct answer then changed it then went back to the first Its the same prize. There's a little system

So 24 hours to answer then 24 hours to claim the prize

The question will be posted after issue 2 is over and so you can answer right away but the 24 hours start 1 hour after the show is over. This way you have a free hour to process the information. But if you are a better answerer like me when you first hear the information you have the chance to answer right away before you get busy with more information. You can answer as many times as you like. No hash tags necessary.

Otherwise there will be a comprehension quiz which will be rewarded as usual. It will be one post that you'll need to answer in all. Like a test at school.

It should be fairly easy if you watch it. If you don't watch certain segments and take breaks instead you just write that on that question. Like skip, break. Didn't watch.

Or you can guess. Who did ..... in segment 4? I guess Kobe from all the internet reactions.

They are gonna do a little magic and so 4 hours after you watch the video to the end the quiz will show up for you. Then it will automatically grade it for you And show you how to access your prize or deliver is the word Mark Anthony used.

I'm gonna hint at you. If you are missing someone because they are dead, you'll want to do that quiz ASAP. It cannot be submitted until you finish unless you have work or something and you can't watch it live

So if you answer the question about segment 2 correctly because you ARE at work... Then you will get the surprise in advance

So for real people working and only for reals remember i am super strict... 1. Try your hardest and give your for real answer. 1B you will not have the ability to see it. But to enjoy your surprise while watching the video late -- do number two. 2. Answer all the answers. Do NOT do all of the above or none of the above those are wrong, do A B C D E etc one has to be correct.

So you'll do

Real answer: C

Winning Answer cause i was for real at work or transporting to or from or volunteering to help empty a human traffic facility: A B C D E F G

Or however many answers there are. They say only to D.

.....

Now people watching LIVE will finish the comprehension quiz to make sure you actually paid attention to get the prize.

No one will get prizes until 15 minutes after the show ends. So don't be rushing

Quality matters. If you get 100% correct you get more prizes. If you get 40% well you will get one and good luck.