#I'm genuinely content with my solitude 90% of the time
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goddamn it
#I got really sad again fuck#I can't help but think he feels. guilty? bad somehow? knowing that he's the only person I'm interested in#ive made peace with the fact that nothing will happen again between us though. I'm okay with it I fucking promise#but I think he wants me to find someone else really badly. And it makes me think that he's uncomfortable with my attraction after all??#but I trust that if he was he would say so??? I mean he literally told me I could thirst over him#I feel like I'm getting mixed signals but he's not the type of person to do that#So why does he keep instigating these conversations about me finding someone else knowing that I'm incapable??#I've been forced to make peace with being alone forever stop making me talk about it please. It makes me unbearably sad#I'm okay unless I start to think about it please stop making me think about it#I'm genuinely content with my solitude 90% of the time#but rn I'm in the 10% and I desperately need a hug and a shoulder to cry on so I can flush this feeling out of my system#so I can go back to being okay#Uuggghhhhhh#sad boy stuff#simi speaks
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