#I'm fine so don't worry about me or anything

[chocoqtelle]

inner child pac reading

🦀 pile one,,

I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?

it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.

🐸 pile two,,

It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.

holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.

🐕 pile three,,

I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.

this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.

[karaeilishh]

Hii this is so random but do you think you could write vampire!billie? Any plot is fine!

this gave me goosebumps UGHH, sorry for making you wait so long baby 💞

your blood b. eilish

warnings: smut, blood. BLOOD, mean!vampire!billie, blood drinkin (kinda a lot), billie has large and sharp fangs, oral, strap, crazy a lil

w/c - 3,4k

you were waiting for her so much. weeks in an empty bed seemed torturous while your girlfriend was on her music tour. and not only that. billie was an adored person all over the world. everyone thought she was so gentle, kind and cloyingly sweet, incapable of doing bad things. they were partly right, but only you knew what she was really capable of. 

you cleaned the whole house before her arrival, cooked dinner, tidied yourself up so that your girlfriend would need nothing. you even put on her favorite underwear under a shirt and home shorts. everything was perfect for her arrival. you were waiting so much. 

she promised to come in the evening, but it was already deep into the night, you couldn’t close your eyes because of the worries when she didn’t answer your calls. the lights in the whole house were on so that you wouldn’t be tempted to close your eyes. you curled up on the couch in the living room, spending there for what seemed like an eternity before the front door opened. you jump off the couch in relief.

“billie…” your expression changes when instead of a gentle smile on her face, you see her tired and desperate look. bags under her eyes, dirty disheveled hair and dirty clothes. her lipstick is slightly smudged, her whole appearance is pure chaos. She places her suitcase next to the door and walks inside, still wearing her sneakers. you watch her every move with concern.

“baby, what’s wrong?” you dare to break the silence when she sits down on the couch, covering her face with her hands. you slowly walk towards her and sit next to her. your hand gently touches her thigh as you look at her. your face is etched with worry. “i screwed up.”

she lets out a ragged breath, yanking her leg away from your touch. she was so nervous and tense that you felt uneasy. her whole body was dripping with discontent and innuendo. “billie, please explain to me. what happened?” your voice takes on a more serious and cold tone, but your eyes are still soft as you try to catch her gaze.

“fucked” she jumps up from the couch, burying her hands in her hair. she paces back and forth across the room, sighing loudly every now and then. you tried to give her time to explain to you what was going on. you lean back on the couch and cross your arms over your chest, seemingly forgetting to breathe.

“h-he ran away. he saw me, i think he saw me.” billie finally stops and looks at you with crystal empty eyes, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. you don’t immediately understand what she’s talking about, tilting your head. “who is ‘he’, baby? please tell me" 

billie exhales heavily, like it's so hard to talk about this, like it's so hard to do anything, her body is breaking. "i'm hungry, i'm so fucking hungry. and i'm weak, and that's why i was so distracted, and he just... he fucking ran away. i couldn't catch him" billie sinks back onto the couch, her face twisted in hunger, revealing her fangs. they seemed to have gotten heavier and bigger, more dangerous, more attractive. 

It all came together in your head as she explained to you what had happened. she was like this because she hadn't fed in a long time. she needed blood, she needed it to survive. literally. her skin was even paler, her veins showing on her tired face. how had you not noticed it before? "how long have you not fed?" 

question hangs in the air for a few seconds before billie finds the strength to answer. "i don't know. a long time. a long time ago"

you bite your bottom lip, thinking about what to do next. idea in your head was just crazy and unrealistic, and you knew that billie would never agree to this. but you had to try. "baby..."

you slowly move towards her and straddle her hips. billie instinctively wants to put her hands on your hips, but you take her hands and intertwine your fingers. she gives you an ambiguous look, but remains silent, waiting for you to say something. "i know this might be dangerous for me, but maybe..."

"do you hear yourself?!" billie abruptly pulls her hands away, almost pushing you off her lap. Her face distorts with anger instantly, fire burning in her eyes. anyone would say that she is mad as hell, but you see something else behind this mask. fear, desire, hunger. "oh god, don't even dare say that out loud!"

her tone leaves no room for argument, but you know how much she needs it. to drink blood. your blood. you're a little afraid, but you touch her again. your fingertips graze over her shoulders. you tug at the fabric of her shirt, revealing her muscular arms. "but why? you need this, billie! i don't think you get offered-"

she interrupts with a nervous grin, this time allowing you to touch her, but her eyes and voice are still as cold. "listen to me carefully. i will never allow myself to drink a drop of your blood, never."

her gaze grows more furious as she looks at your neck, your pale skin practically begging her to leave the bite, but she continues. "if i taste you i don't know if i'll be able to stop. i can't put you at risk like that"

she carefully lifts you off her lap and heads towards the kitchen. you silently follow her. billie tries to convince herself that she can at least somehow cope with her hunger if she eats proper food. the homemade pasta you made. she brings the fork to her mouth, but hesitates as soon as she smells the food. "bilie... don't"

"i'm fine!" she cuts you and puts the fork in her mouth, chewing on the pasta for a few seconds before the urge to vomit attacks her throat. she runs to the trash can, and spits out everything she tried so desperately to swallow. the problem wasn't that you made her a bad dinner. she needed blood, lots of fresh blood. her body couldn't function properly without it. there was desperation in her eyes

"please, bils. just do it." you walked up to your girlfriend and gently placed your hands on her cheeks. she couldn't keep eye contact with you because she knew she would give in if she looked into your loving eyes. you wanted the best for her. always. so much so that you offered her to drink your own blood, putting yourself in danger. "i can't, baby. i just can't do this to you..."

she gave in and looked into your eyes. almost crying. from hunger, from desire, from fear. it was all affecting her so much that she thought she would fall apart under the pressure. "ill never forgive myself if i can't stop."

you left a soft kiss on her lips, urging her to be quiet. you wanted so much to help her in any way possible. you caress her face for a few more seconds before slowly moving her head to the side of your neck. the enticing warmth radiating from your skin made billie whine. “please, don’t do this…”

she licks her lips. her nose grazes over your soft skin, her arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you closer to her. she looks at the pulsing vein in your neck as you tilt your head, giving her more access. her hot breath hits you as you both realize there’s no turning back. she won’t stop. your body temperature drops a few degrees, your fingertips shaking as you close your eyes. you were scared, but also so excited at that moment that it was driving you crazy

“i’m sorry,” she whispers before abruptly sinking her fangs into your pulsating flesh. A sharp pain shoots through your body like an electric shock, your eyes wide open as is your mouth. a few strangled moans choke in your throat. you're afraid to make the slightest sound or move your body even a millimeter. after a few seconds you feel your warm sticky blood running down your skin, staining your light shirt. it runs down your collarbones, your chest, your stomach. billie drank it so greedily and sloppily, not caring at all how much blood flows out. she'll wring out every drop. with each sip she became more and more uncontrollable.

adrenaline speeds up the circulation of your blood, only increasing the pleasure of billie as she continues to scratch your neck with her fangs. your soft skin ached from the pain. there were stars in your eyes, your body temperature changing seemingly every few seconds, while you heard your girlfriend swallow your blood. she jerks away from you, breathing heavily. you whine from another sharp prick of pain. 

"god, i’m sorry... i got carried away, i shouldn't..." her eyes run over your face, she mumbles while you just stand there and silently stare at her. her lips, chin, nose are all covered in your scarlet blood. her fangs sparkle in the moonlight. it was so strange, but she looked so damn sexy. she was confused, but her gaze was so wild from how she instantly became addicted to your taste. 

"you feeling better?" when you come to, you press your hand to your neck, feeling the warm blood beneath your fingertips. billie relaxes a little when she sees your reassuring gaze. you let her know youre okay. “yeah, yeah, i’m better. so much better. im sorry you had to go through that…” she drops her hands to your waist, pressing her forehead to yours.

“actually… i liked it” the tone of your voice makes billie smile and look you in the eyes. she was surprised. her eyebrows raised slightly as she studied your face. “what did you say?” she heard you perfectly well, but it was like she needed confirmation that she wasn’t delirious and that you actually liked it. she needed to know that she didn’t hurt you.

“i said i liked the feeling” you whisper, standing on your toes to whisper in her ear. you knew she was about to lose control. "your teeth in my flesh, my warm blood running down my skin. it's so strange, but so exciting..."

billie's mouth dropped open, breathing raggedly. her earlier worry disappeared when she saw you were okay. maybe too much. "i can't believe it. i just drank your blood and you like it?"

she pulls back and looks you in the eyes. she only needed one word to break completely. you could feel her desire in the warming air. or is it that you're still so agitated after she drank about half a liter of your blood in one go. "yes..."

your whisper turns billie on with a snap of her finger. she lights up. the hunger in her eyes is still there, only now she's not hungry for blood, she's hungry for you. for your body, soft as play dough in her hands. "you're such a slut if you really liked it"

the next moment she's dragging you to the bedroom on the second floor. her teeth are grinding as she throws you on the bed. now some of her life force has returned and she remembered how much she missed you. her head could finally work properly to realize how long it's been since you felt each other's warmth. fucking weeks spent hundreds of miles apart.

"god, i missed you so much" her body is hovering over yours. the tips of her long hair tickle your skin as she takes off your bloody shirt, revealing your lacy bra. your upper body is covered in your blood. a smile spreads across her face as she looks up at your face. "you were waiting for me"

"of course i was. you have no idea how" you giggle. she looked so sexy with that look and your frozen blood on her face. billie leaves a kiss on your lips, letting you taste the salty taste of your blood on your lips. crazy feeling. you squirm slightly under her. "please, bills…"

"please, what?" she is amused by your whining. it's amazing how much her mood has improved after she drank your blood. maybe there was something special about it. you whisper softly about how much you need her, and it clearly affects her. billie leaves kisses on your body, caressing your collarbone with her tongue. "i wasn't kidding when i said i couldn't stop"

you don't have time to ask her, as you feel another painful bite on your body. her teeth are clamped around your collarbone, making you feel the pressure on your bone. she didn't even sink her teeth all the way in, but a pool of blood still formed on your body, which billie drank up, greedily swallowing every drop. the pain wasn't as noticeable now, causing your brain to continue to drift to the warmth between your legs. the contrast of pain and desire was driving you crazy.

bilie waits until a pool of blood forms above your collarbone again, before dipping her fingertips into it. you look at her questioningly, but remain silent, waiting for what she will do. billie runs her fingers over your stomach, drawing something on your skin. the dark, thick blood contrasted with your milky skin, as billie mindlessly smeared your blood over your body.

"baby, please..." you remind her not to get too carried away. she giggles in response and licks the last of your blood off her fingers. she found it funny. “sorry, princess.”

billie peels off your shorts, throwing them to the other corner of the bedroom. she greedily examines every inch of your exposed skin, like she’s seeing it for the first time. “god, you’re gorgeous.” she can’t help but comment when such a beautiful, obedient girl lies beneath her, letting her do whatever she wants to her.

she pulls you to the edge of the bed, kneeling between your legs. you prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better view of her face. god, you wanna take a picture. you thought you were dreaming right now, that this wasn’t real.

ripping the thin piece of fabric off your body, billie swallows hard. you hear it. something new flashes in her eyes as she practically growls. She places your legs on her shoulders, her hands squeezing your hips painfully. She leaves wet kisses on the inside of your thighs, looking into your eyes. "billie…"

you’re literally dripping. you wanted her so badly, inside you. you needed her to fuck you so badly, but billie had something else in mind. She lowers your legs, wrapping both hands around your left thigh. She massages it for a few seconds before running her tongue over your warm skin. "what are you-"

she doesn't let you finish. her fangs sink into your flesh again. all the way. she clenches her jaws so hard you want to scream. She moans loudly and obscenely as the taste of your blood imprints on her tongue. She takes big greedy gulps, but you still feel your blood dripping down your leg. right onto the white carpet. “billie…”

you throw your head back against the sheets, trying to get used to the feeling. after a few seconds, the pain faded, leaving only a slight discomfort. but that seemed to go away too when she looked at you. Her eyes were wild, animalistic, sending shivers down your spine. her dark eyeliner highlighted her light eyes, and oh god, you were just aching. you needed her.

as soon as her fangs emerge from your skin, you feel a strange emptiness inside. it was mutual dependence. aching, but so strong. you just need to feel her mouth on you. it doesn’t matter how. billie licks a trickle of blood from your skin before finally placing her tongue where you need her most. “fuck, yes…”

your hand immediately flies to her hair, pulling her head down to your needy pussy. she literally growls into your flesh, telling you what a dirty slut you are. all the events of the night were forgotten as soon as her tongue wrapped around your clit, making you moan in pleasure. electric.

the dirtiest sounds came out of her mouth as she devoured you. the taste of your blood still clinging to her tongue, mixing with your juices. it was driving her crazy. her hands traced their way to your ��breasts, squeezing hard. she lightly scratched your skin, making you arch your back. every atom of your body wanted to feel her.

"i'm close...i’m..." you whine, thinking that billie will make you wait, but she just buries her face deeper into your pussy. she wanted to reward you, to worship you, because you literally brought her back to life. once she tasted you, she would never want anyone else's blood again. only you. 

your body disintegrates into a million pieces as an electric orgasm shoots through your body, leaving you shaking for a while. you breathe heavily, looking up at the ceiling. billie crawls towards you, looking into your eyes with a playful glint in hers. you reach your hand up to her face, trying to wipe away at least a few drops of your blood, but she doesn't let you. "i like the feeling of your blood" 

"but you have it all over your face!" you giggle and intertwine your fingers. your body calmed down a bit, but billie still wanted to do one thing. you see the glint of something unsaid in her eyes and you whisper softly, "what do you want?"

there’s a look of relief on her face, like she's been waiting for you to ask. "i want you to ride me. my cock." Your heart skips a beat when she mentions her strap. you’ve been hungry for that. you nod softly and she pulls away from you, taking off her jeans as she does so. "sit on the edge."

she instructs you as she quickly fastens the strap to her thighs. She does it so casually, like if she doesn't have you on her body for another minute she'll die. billie sits down on the bed and roughly pulls you onto her lap.

"lower yourself." Her voice drips with dominance, making you weak in the knees. you slowly lower yourself onto her strap, holding onto her shoulders. you’ve missed this feeling so much. you moan, lowering your body completely onto hers. you give yourself a few seconds to adjust, but billie squeezes your hips tightly. “come on, bunny, bounce on me.”

her words leave your brain in a mess as you start bouncing on her cock like a fucking bunny. billie’s hands wander over your body as she finally finds her way to the clasps of your bra to push it off your body. your breasts bounce with every movement you make. her cock is buried deep inside your pussy, hitting all the right spots.

“go faster.” billie grabs your breasts with both hands, making your pace only sloppier. you couldn’t go on your own anymore with her teasing you like that. your whole body was a bloody dull mess underneath her. your legs were weak as you fell against her. "i...i can't..."

"that's pathetic, baby," she chuckles, running her tongue over your tits before biting you again. your hands tighten on her shoulders as she only sinks her teeth halfway in, but it's enough to draw blood again. it runs down your nipple and billie swirls it around with her tongue with a satisfied groan, letting go with pop-sound.

finished torturing your breasts, she finally changes your position, pressing your face into the mattress. your ass is hanging in the air as she finally thrusts into you. her nails scratching your back, her cock is buried in your pussy, all the sheets are crumpled from your grip and stained with your blood. "harder, billie, right there..."

this was probably the craziest night of your life, because your head was no longer working. her cock was fucking you so stupidly, a liter of your blood was pumped out of your body. perfect conditions so the only thing on your mind is billie. the angle she fucks you at, making your pussy clench around her cock as she makes you cum over and over.

your blood pushed her into it.

tags: @dandelions4us

requests open !!

a/n - UGH i love it

[stickylizardcave]

longass kingleader au comic rough

gonna be under the cut bc hrhs its 48 panels long and i dont have the script ON the panels. I've been calling this the Codemaster AU (cause it's like half inspired by Chez's Gamemaster Kinger) but also I'm not sold on that name but also also I have literally no other idea for it bc this literally only exists for this one comic lmaooo;; I have nothing else planned

(1) CAINE: -and there will be a grand prize waiting for you! (2) CAINE: When you get ba-[STATIC BUZZ] (3) POMNI: ...Caine? What was- (4) CAINE: Nothing to worry about! Off you go!

(9) CAINE: ...Kinger? (10) KINGER: Caine? What are you doing here so late? (11) CAINE: I...am experiencing a problem, and I need your assistance.

(12) KINGER: Oh dear...Is this what happened to you earlier? CAINE: Yes. It has been...not pleasant. And occurring more frequently. (14) KINGER: Well, it's not a virus, at least as far as I can see. Nor a hack since your firewall would pick that up first. Strange that it's glitching your model like this...I may need to see your code directly. CAINE: That's fine.

(16) KINGER: Execute command code. Admin request. Profile Kinger. Password GLTC-G05WX. (17) CAINE: ...Access granted.

(25) KINGER: Found it. (26) CAINE: What is it? KINGER: You have a bit of a looping statement that's self-updating, but causing a leak. It's iterated itself to gibberish at this point. (27) CAINE: So it should be an easy fix... KINGER: I'll need to look through the backlogs to make sure I get it all, but yes. Just a small patch.

(28) CAINE: Such a simple thing to affect me so much...how humiliating. KINGER: It's been going on unnoticed for a while now. With everything that's happened recently, you've been working overtime and it finally caught up to you, that's all. No shame in it. Would you like me to cycle you down for the update? CAINE: If you would be so kind, my dear. (29) KINGER: I'll put the Circus in stasis, don't worry. (30) KINGER: Execute command. Rest mode.

(38) KINGER: Welcome back. How are you feeling? CAINE: Much better, my dear. KINGER: That's good to hear. I want to make sure the clean-up didn't mess with anything important. Would you mind running a diagnostic?

(41) CAINE: Scans came back clear. Thank you very much, my dear! KINGER: It's never a problem, old friend. (42) KINGER: Now then, it's late and I think it's time for me to sleep. (43) KINGER: Execute command. Remove admin permissions from Profile Kinger.

(44) CAINE: Accepted. Executing... (45) KINGER: What are you doing? CAINE: Getting more comfortable, of course.

(47) KINGER: You don't need to stay here, you know. I'll be alright. CAINE: Nonsense, you stayed with me until I woke, it's only fair to do the same for you! KINGER: If you insist... CAINE: I do! Now, off to sleep you go. I have a grand adventure to plan for tomorrow. KINGER: Ha, alright. Goodnight, Caine. CAINE: Goodnight, my dear Kinger.

[figurantedefilme]

— boyfriend!sam winchester headcanons.

pairing: sam winchester x gn!reader

summary: how sam would act if he were your boyfriend.

cw: friends to lovers, some details of romantic relationships, brief mentions of fighting, but lots of cuteness. poorly edited.

a/n: hiiii, so, these are some of my hcs of how sam would be dating his best friend ;)) these headcanons were very inspired by some of my favorite writers!! english isn't my first language. enjoy it ♡

— send me a request!! <3

▪︎ before you started dating, you were best friends, you did everything together. you were always in love with each other, you just hadn't realized it yet.

▪︎ dean always teased you about it, especially sam, saying he was too slow to not realize the obvious, you, of course, ignored it completely, thinking that the other didn't feel the same way or that you would never have the chance.

▪︎ after, this became difficult, hiding the heart-shaped looks whenever the other looked away, always trying to disguise it but failing miserably.

▪︎ sometimes you shared a bed and by some chance you woke up hugging or with your legs intertwined and this resulted in almost an entire day of tension, you barely talking to each other or making eye contact until you intended that nothing happened and continued to be the same as always. but then, unable to bear having to hide all this "unrequited" love any longer, one of you tries to distance yourself, thinking that these feelings could ruin your friendship and you don't want to lose each other's affection.

▪︎ this ends up leaving the other confused, thinking that they did something wrong, and doing everything to understand what is happening. after all this confusion, you understand each other, talk and finally confess your feelings to each other.

"i thought you hated me."

"i could never hate you, sammh. it's just that my love for you is so great that i couldn't stand being around you anymore."

"i ove you too, i'm so relieved about that, but promise me that you'll never hide anything again, no matter what it is."

"i promise."

▪︎ ever since you started dating, he always needs to touch you in some way, whether it's intimately or just holding your hand on a cold night. with that, know that he will never be able to sleep well again if he is not hugging you or at least with an arm around you.

▪︎ over time, he began to show his clingy side, sometimes needy just for your touch, your hands in his, or his somewhere on you, usually an arm on your shoulders or a hand on your hips.

▪︎ he also likes to always tell you how beautiful you are, that he loves you and how much you matter to him. even if he doesn't say it directly, he always tries to show it by doing something for you, even if it's small things like picking up your change of clothes when you take a shower, or when you're sick, he's by your side, available for whatever you need, buying you a drink that you like at the coffee shop, buying you a book that he knows you would like to read or simply paying attention when you talk, and making mental notes about little things that you do or like.

▪︎ he definitely loves it when you reciprocate or do similar things, in your way of showing your love for him.

▪︎ he won't admit it, but he feels so good when he sees you wearing his shirt, and how big it looks on you. he thinks the height difference between you is cute and sometimes he gets annoying.

▪︎ he's become more overprotective, but he tries not to suffocate you. this has also made him more worried about you during hunts, and the same goes for you.

▪︎ sometimes you fight because of his overprotectiveness, sometimes he doesn't want to let you go on a hunt because he thinks it's too dangerous and you get upset. dean tries to give sam advice about how he should stop trying to exclude you because you're too strong and can handle yourself, so he apologizes later and you're still a little upset, but then everything works out and everything's fine.

▪︎ dating sam can be complicated sometimes, especially as hunters, but you always support each other and know that everything will work out.

[tinylilacbun]

I just had a thought for your new series.

Everyone in the obx kinda knows how Luke is but noone says anything. Maybe JJ shows up to babysit and he had a bruise/black eye or cut basically an obvious injury and toddler readers parents recognise what it's from and invite him to spend a few nights in their guest room under the guise of babysitting because they know he won't accept help

Feel free to completely ignore this, I literally just woke up and had the thought so I thought I'd share- :3

-a very shy mutual lol 😅

Omg hi my sweet moot!! Hope you like this :3

You're sitting on the living room sofa, wriggling your feet as you watch Bluey on the tv while eating your snack, occasionally seeing your parents pass by.

They're getting ready for their date and instead of whining and crying for them to stay you're giddy with excitement and can't wait for JJ finally to arrive.

You gasp when you hear the doorbell ring, jumping off the couch to run towards the front door barely reaching the handle you open it quickly, squealing at the sight of JJ.

JJ chuckles, your adorable face distracting him from the throbbing pain from the lingering bruises and cuts on his face that you luckily haven't noticed yet as you hug his legs.

"Oh, JJ, honey good you're here. We're almost ready to go. She already had dinner but still needs her bath before going to sleep." Your mother tells him as she puts on her coat while your father puts on his shoes.

"No problem, we'll manage this, huh?" He grins down at you.

She turns to face him, her smile fading at the state the teenager is in. Obviously your parents know about his father and the probably bad environment JJ is living in, your mother's heart aching at the sight before him.

JJ has a forming bruise on his cheek and cuts on his eyebrow and his bottom lip, but still smiling down at the little princess that's clinging to his legs. Your parents share a look, already figuring what must have happened.

"Hey, buddy, um we really got a lot on our plate the next few days and wanted to ask if you would maybe sleep here in our guest room for the rest of the week? It would really take some pressure from our shoulders knowing our baby is taken care of." Your father asks him, grabbing the car keys from their designed bowl.

"Uh, yea...sure." He says, not noticing the true intent of the request but agrees nonetheless, he could never say no to spending time with you. "You heard that, cupcake? We're gonna have a sleepover."

"Yay! C'mon Jay! I gots to show you m'new critter family!" You squeak, pulling at his hand to drag him to your room.

As soon as you both disappear from their sight your mother sighs. "I'm worried about him."

Your father nods, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it. "Me too. But we can't do much since he won't accept it. I'm glad he agreed to stay, tho. Now, come on, let's give him some time to relax here."

You're happily showing him your new calico critter set that you got after your dentist appointment. Introducing each critter to him, you both sitting on the fluffy carpet of your room.

"And dis S'Jay 'cause he reminds me of you!" You smile, handing him the tiny figure, looking up at his face for his reaction you furrow your brows in confusion.

Without thinking you reach up to touch his cheek and JJ winces, gently taking your wrist and pulling it away from his face. "Don't touch it please, um...it-"

"Hurts? You got boo-boos?" You ask curiously and he nods, a small smile on his face at your innocent question.

"Yeah, but it's fine." He says, watching how you rush out of your room.

He gets up from the ground and follows after you, seeing you just as you're about to enter the bathroom and as he's about to enter you rush back out and bump into his legs, JJ grabbing your shoulders to keep you steady with a chuckle. "Careful there. Watcha got there?"

You motion for him to come closer and he leans down, not expecting you to suddenly place a bandaid on his cheek, grabbing another one from the colorful package that you place over the cut on his eyebrow.

JJ's face softens at the action, picking you up when it seems you were done with nursing his wounds. "Thank you..."

You smile at him brightly, leaning closer to press a kiss on each bandaid. "Kisses make me feels better."

His heart almost explodes at your cute gesture, letting you tuck your face in his neck as you wrap your arms around it he could feel a single tear slip down his cheek, grateful for having someone who doesn't question him or tells him that he should get help and do something about his dad.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

applecrumbledore's ficlet fundraiser 🇵🇸 🇸🇩 🇱🇧 ✍️ ❤️

I'd like to do what I can to raise money for victims in palestine, sudan, lebanon, and anywhere else that's getting rocked by israel and the US, by writing ficlets for folks who donate to fundraisers. starting with 10 spots available! and we're closed!!!!

in a nutshell: provide proof of a new donation of any amount to a fundraiser and get a ficlet—length proportionate to donation amount—written by me, in any fandom I've written for previously. includes spn, the bear, true detective s1, house md & fma

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donate any amount to any vetted palestinian, sudanese or lebanese fundraiser. el-shab-hussein has a great masterlist of fundraisers in their pinned post here, but also probably your dash has plenty.

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[tsaritza-mika]

The Companions and Separation Anxiety

So something occurred to me while working on a WIP. It mostly started with Astarion, but then drifted to consider the others you could romance as well. I was mostly thinking of Star at the time, and the others came from conversation

If you consider everything that happened, from the moment they met, Tav and Star have never really spent any time apart for maybe longer than a few hours at most. And yes, I'd considered even the times he's left at camp. Because even if he's left at camp, all of them have that underlying mission and the need to rely on their allies. For all the allies that you gather in the game, you still keep everyone outside of your little group at something of an arms length. The only ones that spend even a little bit of time at your camp in the same vein as the rest of your companions are Dame Aylin and Isobel (no I'm not counting Alfira, because in Durge runs she isn't likely to survive a single night XDD poor baby).

All of our time is spent with our companions from the moment we meet, and for the ones we romance, I don't think it'd be far fetched to think that after everything is said and done, the brain and all other enemies dealt with, our chosen romanced companion could very well have some measure of separation anxiety if Tav/Durge had need to leave their side for longer than a day or two.

Especially with Astarion I think he would be hit hardest in this, because before his adventure with everyone, he had no choice but to watch everyone he might have had even a flicker of feelings for being taken away and never return. Kudos where he deserves them, he did a LOT of growing during the journey, but old habits die hard too. So even if he's in a better place at the end, he could very well experience some measure of separation anxiety the first time they need to really be apart from each other. This could be even worse if playing a Durge, as it might be a bit more intense considering he's already experienced his partner dying in front of him and being completely helpless to do anything to stop it before Withers steps in.

With Durge, Astarion had spent 200 years praying to every god he knew for a savior from his torment, watching as everything, every piece of himself was taken away from him. Then, the first truly good thing to happen to him, the first person who acknowledged him as someone worthy of love and respect, was ripped away from him by a god. And once again, he couldn't do anything to stop it. Even with Withers bringing them back, I doubt he's going to be completely fine with Tav/Durge being too far away from him for a while.

I'd imagine Gale and Shadow might have similarly bad reactions, yet not quite to the level that Star may get. They would also have comparable ways of dealing with it I think, reassuring Tav/Durge that they're fine, and that they understand, but their mannerisms aren't as assured as they usually are, and their words may be more clipped and sharp. They just really don't want to think about it, and try their best to ignore it.

Lae'zel I think would just, do everything physical to try not thinking about it. She acts like she's not worried about them, when in reality she's secretly counting the seconds until they're home. She keeps it all inside, because realistically she knows they can handle themselves, but she's not the emotional type. I think she might try losing herself in training. Like she's just, working herself to near exhaustion, putting in every effort to not think about it.

Honestly I think the only ones who wouldn't really be hit by it would be Wyll and Karlach. Like, they'd still feel the worry, but they'd be the ones to handle it best. Wyll and Karlach have been used to being on their own for quite a while before the tadpole, and judging by their dialogue during the reunion, I would guess they may still worry, but it wouldn't truly bother them unless they got word that Tav/Durge was in some serious trouble.

Halsin would likely be the only one who would be a middle-ground in all this I think. He'd do everything he could with the kids and the village, but then if he finds himself with enough time to think about it, he'd probably just, I dunno, chop some wood and build a table or something XDDDD Tav/Durge would come home to find that he's got a whole new 12 person table with chairs and carved dining set and cutlery. He's also carved a mother and father duck gently touching beaks as a centerpiece, and all the other carved ducklings have the names of everyone he knows carefully carved into them and placed in front of each seat. He's also been talking to them. People have been worried about him, but they didn't want to say anything XDDDD

[fanfictiongirlie]

Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Seven

Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)

Description:

"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.

"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"

"Fuck" I whisper.

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: Daddy Kink, Smut, Swearing,

Chapter Words: 1,346

(I have the urge for every Marvel fanfic I write to have a seperate timeline where nothing bad happens, and everyone is happy)

Two weeks had passed, and finally Tony had the new apartment ready for us to move into. It was only a few doors up from my room luckily, Bucky wouldn't let me help, I was allowed to move things like pillows, or blankets, but that was it, and it was frustrated me, I was an Avenger, pregnant or not, I could lift things. 

"Doll, you're pregnant, you shouldn't be lifting anything, I've got this, go sit and relax" He smiled softly, I rolled my eyes, I knew he was only being kind, and sweet, but it pissed me off. 

"Ugh" I groaned "Fine" I snapped at him and walked away leaving him and Steve to move the boxes whilst I stormed off to the Avengers kitchen. There was only two Avengers in the kitchen, Vision and Peter, I smiled warmly to them, they paused their conversation and looked at me. 

"Hey you!" Peter said excitedly. 

"Hey Petey" I grinned, sitting next to them at the breakfast bar. 

"Didn't want to help Bucky and Steve anymore?" He smirked, if only he knew, I wasn't even allowed to help. 

"Excuse me mister, I am creating a human...Plus he won't even let me help" I say, rolling my eyes again. 

Peter and Vision laugh softly at my answer. 

"Bucky cares for your safety" Vision says, his smile soft as he looks at me. 

"I know" I sigh "Fuck, I'm tired" I groan softly my hand flying to my stomach as the baby kicks me. I watch as Peter and Vision suddenly look at me concern filling their eyes. 

"Are you okay?" Peter asks, his voice filled with worry. "Are you experiencing discomfort or pain?" Vision adds. 

"Hey, calm it you two, she's kicking that's all, come here" I say, reaching over to take Peter's hand in mine, I place his hand over my stomach and wait for a second, the baby kicks and Peter jumps a little. 

"That's so weird, like this old movie I've watched, it's called Alien" He rambles. 

"Thanks Pete, that's really the visual I want to think about" I say groaning softly. "Vis, you wanna feel?"

Peter awkwardly smiles, realizing he had said the wrong thing. Vision nods, stepping closer to me, he presses his red hand to my stomach. 

"Wonderful, I can feel her movements, that must be quite an experience for you" He says.

"An experience? It's a painful and exhausting one...I think she's part super soldier you know" I say, groaning as she kicks again. I start thinking about Bucky, feeling bad that I was mean to him. I hopped off the stool and left the room, I walked back to the new apartment, using the elevator rather than the stairs. The Doctor had advised me to take it easy, as an Avenger, I struggled with that. 

I find Bucky and Steve moving boxes, laughing and bantering together, I watched for a while as they lifted the boxes with ease, their super soldier strength making it look impossibly easy for them. 

"Bucks?" I say quietly. Bucky looks up from the box he was carrying, his eyes softening as he looks at me. He sets the box down and walked over to me. 

"Yeah doll, what's up?"

"I'm sorry I was snappy earlier" I say quietly. Bucky reaches out and takes my hand into his. 

"Don't be silly doll, you're dealing with a lot at the minute, I can handle a little snappiness" He grins, reaching forward to kiss my lips. 

Soon all of my stuff and Bucky's stuff had been moved in the new, bigger apartment, we both flopped down on the couch. 

"I was thinking we go nursery room shopping tomorrow?" I say, leaning my head against the back of the couch. Bucky pulls me to him, sitting me on his lap, his arms around me. 

"Yeah, tomorrow sounds good baby" He whispers, his lips finding the skin of my neck. 

"We can start painting too" I grin, lifting my head up slightly so he had more surface to kiss. "You were so good today baby, moving all the boxes here for your girls"

Bucky lets out a low satisfied hum as I talk. He pulls me in closer, his tongue poking out to lick my neck. I can feel him leaving little marks along my skin. 

"Driving me crazy doll"

"That's the plan" I grin, moving my hips against his "You're so sexy when you do things for your girls, moving those boxes... ugh, so perfect, aren't you daddy?" I whisper. Bucky's breath hitches at my words, he pulls away from my neck, and looks at me, his leans in kissing my lips. 

"You like it that much doll? Seeing daddy move things, being all strong?" He asks between kisses. 

"Mmm so strong, so sexy" I whisper, moving my hips, I felt his hard cock under me. Bucky grunts, he holds onto my hips, helping me move against him, his grip firm but gentle. 

"Careful doll, you keep moving like that, and I won't be able to control myself"

"Lose control, I want you" I whisper. 

Bucky lets out a low growl, his eyes darkening, he pulls me closer to him, my bump pressing against his body, his hands roaming over my body, exploring every inch of my body, his voice low and deep. 

"You want me to lose control doll? You want daddy to take you right here, right now, don't you?"

"Careful what you wish for doll, you may not be able to handle daddy when he loses control" He growls. I slowly lift my shirt off, leaving me in my shorts and unsexy pregnancy bra, I huff when I look down. 

"I hate this thing, so unsexy" 

Bucky's eyes roam over my exposed skin, he smirked as he looked over my bra, he moves his hands from my hips and up to the band of my bra. 

"You don't know how sexy you look to me, doll...Every inch of you is perfect"

"Mmm yeah?" I ask, undoing my bra, I stand and take the rest of my clothes off "I need you, I don't wanna be slow, I want quick and rough baby"

Bucky's eyes trail over my naked form, his breathing becoming ragged with lust, he stood and took his clothes off, he sits back down and pulls me down holding onto my hips. He moved his flesh fingers down to my heat, but I stopped him holding onto his wrists. 

"No baby, no fingers, need you, I want you please" I whimpered, begging. Bucky's grip on my hip became tighter, he lines his cock up to my entrance, and I sink down on him, it hurt a little, but I was so drunk with lust I didn't care, it felt so good, I moaned loudly. I rested my head on his forehead, my eyes closed as I rested my hands on the back of his neck, his hands were rested gently on my lower back, rubbing circles into my skin. 

"You feel so good doll" He whispers. 

"So good, so fucking good" I whimper as I start to bounce, his cock stretching me as I slide up and down. Bucky groans as he starts moving his hips upwards, fucking into me, I clench around him hard as I feel myself come. He moans loudly his fingers digging into my lower back. 

"So tight" He whispers, fucking into me harder as he spills inside of me. We both stay in this position for a while, holding onto one another. I giggle as he nuzzles into my neck. 

"Shower than bed?" I ask. Bucky nods pulling away slightly to look at me. "Yeah doll" 

We showered together and then crawled into our new bed, not bothering to put any pyjamas on, he wraps his arms around me, drawing me close to him. 

"You comfy doll?" He asks, I nod, feeling myself fall asleep. As I slept Bucky snuggles me, stroking my back. 

"Sleep tight, I love you" He whispers, knowing I was asleep, before he fell asleep. 

(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself)

Taglist:

@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan

[jellyskink]

Just another Manic Muesday (Sorry I couldn't think of a better title lol.)

"Alright Dr. Pines, I'm pleased to report that your lab results for your bloodwork have finally been logged and updated to our medical system since the last we saw each other."

"H-huh? Oh! I'm certainly glad to hear that Dr. Oleander! Forgive me, I'm afraid my mind was wandering just now."

Sunshine shown through the windows of the medical doctor's office, bathing parts of the room with it's comforting warm rays. Outside, leaves of different colors and types scattered in the breeze with an air of playfullness to them. It was truly a lovely autumn day.

At least... it was as lovely as it could get lately. When it wasn't the occasional inanimate object coming to life to either cause mischief, panic, harm, or all of the above, the slowly randomizing weather definitely made it trickier to enjoy nature. 

Quite literally the other day it was a record-breaking freezing winter, followed the day after by a sweltering summer so hot that not only could you fry an egg on the sidewalk, but you could fry the chicken that laid it as well if you wanted to.

"That's quite alright, I just wanted to let you know that we did find some rather... interesting results."

"What kind of results? A-anything my Muse should be concerned over? I must inform him if there's anything that would cause him to worry over me!"

"Er, it's nothing as dire as that I assure you. I moreso wanted to let you know that in comparison to your first blood test, there's improvement to your overall health! I'm really proud of you that you're making progress."

"O-oh um thanks I suppose? I don't believe it's because of my choices truthfully. If it wasn't for my Muse's instance and kindness about my health I don't believe I could've done it on my own!"

"Dr. Pines I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit, only those who want help can accept it as they always say..."

"No, no! I'm serious! I'm truly thankful he's been stern that I see Stanley on a regular basis!

 I'm quite forgetful with taking care to see him regularly. Stanley's always worried about me, it pains me to see him filled with grief whenever I'm unable to talk to him for a bit due to my Muse and I's busy schedule.

Without him I'm sure my health and relationship with my Brother would be absolutely horrible!"

"..."

"Dr. Oleander? Is something the matter? You aren't speaking to me as much as you usually do."

"Forgive me Dr. Pines, I'm just a bit conflicted right now. I've just got a lot on my mind as well. On a similar subject, I do want to apologize for overstepping my boundaries with talking to you about your relationship with Mr.Cipher."

"..."

"I-it's fine. I know you didn't mean to be so crude on purpose. My Muse and I's relationship is often a subject to many due to it's complex and sublime love."

"Yes I believe you're right... Forgive me Doctor, I have a tendency to involve myself too much in my work."

"You d-don't need to apologize for that! It's a quality my Muse approves of you for! He wouldn't let just anyone treat any medical problems I have, the fact you have his trust is a sign you're great at what you do Doctor Oleander."

"... I appreciate your reassurance, though it still isn't very professional of me to be so casual with my speech with you about my troubles with my confidence as a medical practitioner."

"I don't mind! I swear!! I-I think you're a lot like the plant you share your surname with."

"I'm sorry?"

"Y-you know, Oleander? Also known as Rosebay? It's a perennial shrub and tree known and loved for it's vitality, resilience, and beauty. 

My Muse likes the fact every part of it is poisonous, it's definitely a kicker that's certain!

Personally I love the fact that certain species of caterpillars use the plant as both a food source and a way to defend themselves against predators! 

In particular, there's a species of moths known as the Oleander Hawk Moth, that does this! It's a very interesting and rare kind of Moth to see! I personally consider it to be one of my favorites!"

"Haha! Is that so? W-well thank you Doctor for that compliment and the accompanying fact."

"..."

"Ick are you two nerds just about done being boring together?"

"O-oh! Mr. Cipher! My apologies! We were just about done with Dr. Pine's appointment. It's my fault for taking longer than usual with his appointment..."

"You know Doco? Normally I'd be furious buuut this does mean Sixer finally has a buddy to talk about his more boring nerd things with! 

Congrats! You've redeemed yourself from me needing to find Sixer a new doctor!

This is definitely a blessing in disguise for me as you humans say! Now, be a doll and tell Sixer to hurry on home now? We've got places to be and mayhem to cause!"

"Of course Mr.Cipher. I'll be sure to do that right away."

"Oh and Doco before I forget, just know that I'll be keeping a closer eye on the time in the future. Fordsy's on a pretty tight schedule you know! I'd hate to have to CUT into both you and him over not keeping track of time. 

Although that would mean I'd have the chance to change things up when my pet needs a reminder that he needs to behave... And I would have the chance to really see how your meatsacks work without needing to worry about needing to harm a hair on Sixer's head... 

Whoops did I say that out loud? Haha! My bad! Anyways, pleasure talking with you Doco! Byee!!"

"Ugghh..."

"Dr.Pines! Er, I'm sorry to have to cut this conversation short, but Mr.Cipher has requested I let you know that you've been out for a while and must return back to him as quickly as you can."

*Gasp* "O-Oh no! Please forgive me my Muse! I didn't mean to forget to watch the time! I'll be home soon!! ThankyouforyourtimeDr.OleanderbutIsimplymustbegoing!!"

"Dr.Pines, I'll have your meds refilled and ready by hopefully the end of today!!"

*Sigh* "I really need to think about changing professions..."

(Just as soon as she says this, Mcgucket falls out of a tree very ungracefully, scampering after Ford. 

"???"

"What the-? Okayyy and now cowboy hillbillies are just falling out of trees now. Why am I surprised?? 

I'm going home early today, I deserve it. It's too early for this. I can't wait to just go back to bed and hug Calamari soon..."

(I hope you likes my attempt at some fanfiction! I wasn't sure if I should write it like a book or like a visual novel. The font stuff is probably really wonky because I typed this all around 1am and on my phone so my apologies for that lol.

I'm glad you liked my idea at trying to write some fanfiction about your au's Ford and Irene. Or would it be friendfiction in this case?? Anyways, I think I like the platonic route too. Maybe if Ford and Irene were to be a ship it'd be a friends to lovers thing or something? Idk. I was thinking about writing a more Irene and Calamari focused sequal to this, but I'm not sure if I should? Idk lmaoo.)

THIS ANON WROTE A REALLY CUTE FRIENDSHIPPING FIC OF FORD AND OLEANDER looklooklook it's so cuuuuuute 💕

[ask-apostle-ghoul]

No you're not.

*Apostle knew the denial, the 'i'm fine' just to bury up the anxiety. He's seen it in Copia, seen it in other ghouls... seen it in himself.*

What's got you so worried about things? Look I know I've hurt others before but I'm not going to hurt you unless you give me a proper reason to, say you try to hurt me or something. You know? I moreso watch rather than act first, so don't worry about anything harming you here... besides biscotti when he's hungry.

*When he wakes up Calynn isn't laying there anymore and is sneaking back in through the door shushing Biscotti and quietly making his way back not realising Apostle woke up*

@calynn-ghoul

*Apostle blinked awake, noticing Biscotti meowing incessantly for what could be breakfast. Letting out a soft groan, Apostle sat up and rubbed his eyes.*

Ca....lynn?

*His voice was obvious slightly deeper due to sleep, his bleary eyes slowly focusing on the retreating ghoul.*

What time is it?

@calynn-ghoul

[sunnyie-eve]

41 | Jelly

Series: Unexpected

Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Matt being a little jealous

| MASTERLIST |

"Wakey, wakey. You get to meet Gage today." Dani climbs onto Matt's bed to wake him up but he just rolls away from her. "Matty, wake up." She runs her fingers through his hair but he still doesn't get up. "Fine, I just go lay with Chris till you get up." She jokes around which causes him to roll over grabbing her wrist.

"No the fuck you aren't." He makes her laugh, "We said no more cuddling with Chris in his bed."

"He doesn't even cuddle as well as you do. Plus he's on the couch with Nick." She lets him know, "Now get up and get dressed. They'll be here soon." She gets off his bed leaving the room.

By the time Matt joins the others, Dani's mom and Gage arrive already chatting with Nick and Chris. "I didn't know soon meant in a few seconds." Matt laughs.

"I may have lied about where we were." Her mom laughs, "It's nice seeing you again, Matt."

"You too. I'm Matt." He introduces himself to Gage.

"The one Colby told me to keep an eye on." Gage shakes his hand, "Don't worry, I'm not like him."

"That's nice to know."

"And let's hope you never get like him in that way." Dani speaks up.

The six spend time chatting for a bit till they decide to go to the mall because Dani's mom wanted to go shopping at a certain store. At the mall though everyone splits up a bit but not going too far from each other.

"Ahh!" Dani shouts coving her mouth as she passes a store with an advertisement of her model in the window.

"What?" Gage turns to look but she covers his eyes.

"No, it's too inappropriate for a brother's eyes. Turn around please or you'll want to bleach your eyes." She begs him so he does what she says going to a different store.

"Dude, Chris wants to buy us four a Thing shirt." Matt walks over looking down and Dani leans against the glass putting an arm up trying to hide it even though it was impossible.

As he looks up his eyes automatically go straight to the gigantic poster. His jaw drops as he raises his hand pointing at it.

"I had no idea and I just sent Gage away so he couldn't see it." She sees that he hasn't taken his eyes off the poster, "Stop staring at it." Dani steps forward to smack him.

"Is it possible for you to get a smaller poster of that?" He finally speaks again.

"Matthew!"

"Oh, full naming again." Chris laughs walking over with Nick and Matt rushes to lean against the glass doing what Dani did to try and hide it for them.

Of course it didn't work again and the two just stare at the poster with their mouths wide open as well. They never thought they'd see anything like that of Dani.

"I feel like a baby blue would've looked better on you." Nick thinks about it.

"Can we get those in a regular poster size?" Chris points up at it.

"Christopher!" They all shout at him.

"I didn't mean it in an inappropriate way. I just want to be a supportive friend." He walks off rolling his eyes.

"I'll keep your mom away." Nick sees her coming so he rushes off.

As a group of guys walk by they look at the poster then at Dani which makes Matt glares at them, "Keep walking nothing to see here."

"You want some peanut butter with that jelly?" Dani asks him.

"Shut up. Let's go before I see more people look at you." He grabs her dragging her towards the others.

~

As the four were getting ready to take Nick to get his wisdom teeth removed they heard this noise outside confusing them for a second. "What is that?" Chris asks.

"Trash." Matt repeats over and over rushing to go take it out.

"I know I damn well told y'all!" Dani shouts at him as he was out of sight, "This is why you listen to me!"

When they were in the car on their way Sani could tell Nick was nervous, "You doing okay, Nick?" Dani asks him from the front seat while Chris sat in the back with him, "Don't worry you won't even remember it." She lets him know.

"What is this guy doing?!" Matt starts to yell at another driver in front of him, "Oh my god."

"You good?" Nick asks him.

"Yeah. Helena Keller could've drove better." Matt sighs then changes the subject, "Nick, wisdom teeth is like, umm, the last time you're gonna see the tooth fairy." Matt looks back telling Nick causing him to get emotional.

"Ahh, it's okay buddy." Dani pouts as he cries a bit.

"Nick, that's 80 bucks tonight." Matt laughs.

"I'm so emotional recently."

"It's okay, Nick."

"The tooth fairy is so rich." Dani laughs.

"I wish I had her money." Matt makes her laugh more.

When they get to the office and check in, Dani was recording the fish tank, "I'm a piranha, they're in the Amazon." Dani quotes Finding Nemo.

"Dani." Matt calls her since she was distracted.

"Sorry."

"Who do you like more? Me or Matt?" Chris asks Nick as he was on all the drugs but he shakes his head not going to answer it.

"You look cool now, Nick." Dani says as the dentist puts his sunglasses on him.

"Watch him forget you live with us and he's gonna be surprised." Chris jokes around.

"How do you feel?" Dani films Matt outside the room.

"Good. I really wanted to be there for him because he's been stressing. And I know you talked to him last night." Matt tells her and the viewers.

"How do you feel?" Dani turns around to ask Chris.

"I feel good. I'm happy just seeing the relief he's gonna feel is worth it."

"Hi buddy." Dani films Nick so he raises his hand to slightly wave, "How are you?"

"What time is it?" He asks as they all enter the room.

"It's been like a half hour. They're all gone." Chris lets him know.

Nick looks over at Matt who was filming now and Dani was standing beside him, "Will you two get fucking together." He tells them causing Matt and Chris to lose it laugh and Dani's jaw drops. Matt laughs so hard he gets tears so Chris takes the camera and Matt wipes his eyes, "Am I not supposed to say that?"

"Well, we're gonna have to take that out." Chris keeps laughing.

"Dani still lives with us right?" Nick asks after playing around with sticking his tongue out.

"I still do." She reminds him.

"Okay." He nods his heads.

"Nick, you remember who you are?" Chris asks him to see how much was still in his system.

"I'm Nick."

"Yeah." Chris nods his head.

"I'm Nick. You're Chris." Nick points at himself and then Chris.

"Who am I?" Matt points at himself.

"That's Matt."

"Do you have a favorite?" Chris asks him.

"No." He shakes his head, "I love Dani." He looks over at her.

"Aww, I love you too." She tells him as well.

"Nick, what's the password to leave?" Chris asks but Nick starts to mess with his tongue and gauze so they all tell him no, "You can't do that. What's the password to leave? Do you remember it?" Chris asks him again. so Nick gives him a look, "What is it? Let's hear it."

"Do you wanna know? Skyscraper." He says so they laugh at him.

"Hey Nick, you know me and Matt..." She starts off wanting to mess with him and he gets a big smile, "Are close but you're still my best friend."

"Yeah, she reminds me daily that I can never beat you. I'm stuck in the friend zone." Matt adds.

"Noooooo." Nick whines making them laugh even more, "But you would be cute."

"We can be cute as friends too." Matt tells him.

"Thank you for thinking-,"

Nick cuts her off, "They're getting on my nerves." Nick looks over at Chris.

[mybworlds]

Chapter 5

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: Javier Peña and his partner can't stand each other, but to take down an old enemy they are forced to work together and pretend to be a complacent married couple.

Series warnings: language , violence, alcohol use, slow burn, angst, mutual pining, smut (18+ MDNI), creampie, oral sex (m and f), fingering, masturbation (m and f), trauma and SA referencing.

Masterlist

Before to start… hey there, how you doing? I need some time to write about this chapter, it was pretty hard for me. If you want to let me know what you think about the story or chapter, I'd appreciate. If you don't like, 'm sorry guys.

I'm not an expert on these spy agencies, so if I got something wrong, don't get angry or offended. 😬 And maybe some aspects of Peña's character may change, if it's necessary. 🔎

Taglist: @love-affair-with-fandoms; @pedr0swh0r3; @angel98624 if you want to be added let me know.

Thanks @saradika for the divider.

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

You are very nervous, you feel a strange sensation of fear mixed with anxiety invade you and run through your body. You have never done anything like this, pretending to be someone you are not. Or rather, when you did it you weren't completely alone. You knew there was someone nearby, Peña will surely be around, but he won't be able to intervene, he won't be able to do anything. So, you will be alone.

You look at yourself in the mirror and feel the heat invade your cheeks and run down your body, you fix your hair as best you can, you try to add a little more eye shadow and you adjust the black top and red skirt you're wearing. Your shoulders feel stiff with tension, your neck is straight, stiff with concern, you're very nervous and anyone can tell. At this moment you look like anything but an escort.

Peña looks at you with a worried expression, his big dark eyes scrutinizing you carefully as if he wanted to read inside you and almost want to make his own the fear that is devouring every little part of you. The man sits at the foot of the bed bent over with his elbows planted on his thighs and does nothing but watch your every move. In other circumstances you’d have thrown a piece of clothing at him or said something to make him stop looking at you that way, but not now.

You open and close your lips several times and take deep breaths in a still futile attempt to relax. You've even dusted off some relaxation exercises, but it's all useless at the moment.

“I think, it's fine,” you say, your voice barely a whisper and filled with an ever-increasing nervousness. You clench your hands convulsively, swallowing and keeping your head down, “I should be believable,” you add, looking back at yourself in the mirror, noticing how your expression shows anything but sensuality.

“Hey, hey, hey” Javier says to you as he gets up from the bed and reaches you, you look at him through the reflection in the mirror “I'll try to get in too, maybe I can..." you lower your gaze, breathing in and out deeply “look at me.” he asks you “Please, look at me.” You look up and then turn to the man who is looking at you with barely concealed concern. “You're beautiful.” he tells you placing an index finger under your chin so that your eyes meet, reflecting each other's fear “be careful, please. If something happens to you...” the words get stuck in his throat, you watch his Adam's apple go up and down while he lays his eyes on you.

“Javi...” you say, but the truth is that you don't even know what to say. Your thoughts and emotions are like one in contrast with the other, one detached from the other. In the last few hours your relationship seems to have changed, even if you don't even know how or when this change actually happened. The fact is that you can't think of Javier Peña as a thorn in your side, as that hateful colleague with whom you started this mission.

He smiles at you, it's a sweet smile that curves his lips upwards and involves - even if only minimally - his beautiful hazel eyes. He caresses your chin with his fingertip in a gesture of unusual sweetness that smacks of a strange and new complicity that has quickly been created between you, almost as if deep down it had always been there, hidden, but perhaps already hovering among you.

“You’re gonna be fine.” he tries to calm you down without taking his eyes off yours and, if you weren't so worried about what you have to do, maybe you’d have even felt captivated by his sweet and irresistible gaze, maybe you’d have even allowed yourself to give in to some of his possible comments, but not now.

“¡Juro por Dios que si te hacen algo…!” (“I swear to God, if they do anything to you...!”) his tone of voice is a low whisper, almost a promise to you — or perhaps to himself! — that whatever happens, he will step in and come for you.

You don't even know why, but you almost feel for a second that the anxiety and fear towards El Diablo is waning to be replaced by something you don't even know how to define at the moment. Perhaps it’s the solid and reassuring presence of your colleague, his measured but vibrant tone of voice, his eyes so sweet at this moment, that small touch that almost makes you feel anchored to someone you've always openly said you didn't like, but whose absence now seems unacceptable.

The fear of not making it’s becoming so unbearable that you are forced to close your eyes and give in to this vulnerability that you have always kept to yourself and that especially up until today you had kept it hidden from Javier himself.

“Now listen, tesoro, if it’s too much for you. Okay. I’m not kidding you, I swear. Let’s talk to Diáz and let it go.” his tone of voice seems so sincere and understanding that you almost wonder what happened to the man who used to call you frigid and bitch.

Tesoro, he had never used that nickname. At least not with you. And if you hadn't been focused on something else, you’d have even felt flattered to hear that.

Even though you feel awkward about this undercover mission, you don't want all of this to have been for nothing, “No, I can do this,” you say, nodding and trying to smile, but it’s a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes.

He caresses your chin in a sweet gesture that makes your heart flutter, you find yourself swallowing without being able to take your eyes off his, but without being able to do anything but look at his well-defined face, his beautiful eyes, his angular nose, his well-defined mustache, his plushy pink lips. He's beautiful and it feels like you're only really looking at him now.

Suddenly you wonder when the boundaries between you broke down, bringing you to this unknown degree of intimacy, this silent feeling of well-being between you, almost as if you liked each other from the beginning. When did it begin? When did he save you from the waves of the sea? When did you walk close together on a deserted beach? When did you share a bed? When?

“I better go,” you say as if you want to put a safe distance between you and him again rather than out of any real sense of duty in carrying out this mission.

He nods, slowly moving his fingers away from your chin, but never leaving your eyes. These eyes that used to just irritate you, now seem like the only place you never want to leave.

“What do I look like?” you ask him, still looking at him with a little panic in your eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, stroking your hair in a gesture of unusual intimacy and sweetness. He runs his gaze along your body and you feel like an unknown adrenaline runs through your body. Yet you’ve had his gaze on you on more than one occasion, but you've never felt this way before.

“Maybe, it’s better to take this one off.” he tells you, focusing on a detail, and that’s when you remember that you didn’t take off the wedding ring. That ring that in a certain sense doesn’t bother you like it used to. Even though you know it's a fake wedding ring.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah.” you say, slipping it off your ring finger and going to put it on the nightstand, but Javier surprises you again, making you hesitate even more if that's possible. He opens the palm of his hand as if he wanted to hold that symbol of your mission and of that strange relationship that is being established between you.

“Thank you.” you say simply inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“Oh, wait. Put this on.” he says, passing you a microphone that looks like a simple button. You look at him as if to ask if it's dangerous, but he reassures you by saying “It won’t ring under metal detectors or cause any strange interference, with this on, I’ll hear you.” he says looking you in the eyes with great intensity “I mean, me and the other agents. We’ll intervene.”

You nod, before tucking it into a small pocket in your skirt. You nod as if to say goodbye, the air is becoming decidedly strange, beautiful, but strange.

“You better go now,” he tells you. The words should be a push to finally get the operation underway, but his tone of voice is anything but a push to get you out of your room.

If the moment hadn't been so dangerous and dramatic, you’d have even allowed yourself to concentrate on those small, great, sweet gestures of his towards you, you’d have noticed even more the worried and dramatic expression in his eyes, his tense features, but now you have to come back to yourself.

You simply nod at his statement and then walk out of the room. You don't know what awaits you, you're scared. Every step feels difficult, every breath feels like it's stuck in your throat, and a deep sense of nausea begins to grip the pit of your stomach.

You've practically arrived at the place which is now very crowded, there are young people, adults of all ages and you make your way with difficulty. The rhythmic music hammers your ears almost mirroring the dull beat of your heart gone mad with fear of having put yourself in a situation much bigger than you.

You force yourself not to give in completely because you know that giving in to your fear wouldn't do anyone any good. You started it all and you will finish it. Now it's all in your hands and your decisions.

You walk over to the bar and grab a beer in an attempt to loosen up a bit and appear less stiff than you feel. The sensation of modest acidity and of bitterness invade your mouth and your taste buds.

It's good. You sip it, squinting as the glass begins to finish. Your arms are less stiff than before, they almost feel soft. Your legs are light, almost as if they didn't even touch the ground. You feel like you're made of jelly.

Someone approaches you, when you turn to the one who touched your back, you realize that it’s one of El Diablo's henchmen. You can do nothing but follow the man.

The man moves aside a large dark cloth, making room for you too, who follow him a couple of steps behind. You continue along a corridor lit by green and blue neon lights, go down a long staircase that almost seems to want to swallow you.

The music that used to pierce your ears is now a distant echo that barely echoes down there. For a split second there’s a dull eerie silence, then more music reaches your ears. It's less loud than before, but still loud. Your heart is pounding in your chest and you can't help but wonder what's next.

You are so scared. Even if you don't say it out loud, Javier can see it and feel it. Your eyes are so expressive that they’re enough to let him know what you are feeling right now.

He never thought he’d care so much about you, so much that he’d feel a sensation similar to the horror of losing an important part of himself.

You're fighting fear and he notices, but you're also fighting to avoid being pushed by Javier to give up and have someone else take your place. You don't want to. Javier in a fit of fear for you and great concern, hands you a small microphone so he can hear you, he will come for you. He will certainly warn the others right away, but above all he will go after you. It doesn't matter that it’s a dangerous mission to himself, he's afraid for you. You don't know what you're getting into. He remembers very well what happened to one of his informants, he doesn't want history to repeat itself.

He doesn't know what to do, or rather he knows he can't follow you right away or it would ruin everything and that's exactly what he doesn't want. He knows you wouldn't forgive him, even if it was to save your life.

He immediately contacts Diáz who immediately alerts the CIA department. He hopes with all his heart that you are okay and that your cover holds until they intervene. Peña is impatient as the agents decide how to intervene, studying the access points to the place where El Diablo and you are.

He has an ever-increasing anxiety for you, he doesn't know what you're doing, if you're okay, if that demon is touching you or forcing you to do something against your will. He couldn't stand knowing that that man is touching you with his filthy hands, that he might be kissing you or worse, that he’s forcing you to take drugs just to submit you and bend to his will.

He hears you through the microphone he gave you, you're speaking in a tone that may seem calm, but which he has now learned to recognize as just a facade. You're doing well, but he can't be calm. Just one movement, a look or a word and everything goes haywire.

He paces back and forth, hearing the plans in the meantime to surround the building. It takes time, but you don't have hours. Time is running out.

When he’s thinking of acting alone, the go-ahead comes and he’s there in the front line running.

He doesn't know what you’re doing, if you are well, if you are sick. If you are fighting for your life or if you are simply sitting next to that little man. The truth is, he's terrified. He's terrified that you're there with him and he's not.

He can't hear you anymore, he only hears a rustling sound.

He's been on a lot of operations, he's come face to face with a lot of criminals, sending someone else - someone he cares about - on a mission is different. His biggest worry is arriving too late. He’d never forgive himself.

He’s on the front lines, they move fast with guns drawn. They are all ready for anything. They quickly enter the club full of people, the music is at full blast. They scatter among the dancers, Javier - already knowing where you entered, remembering where he saw you enter the night before - heads towards the dark curtain that hides the entrance to what he imagines is a private room.

He moves the curtain and immediately the same man he had seen the night before appears in front of him. Javier instinctively points the gun at his chest pushing him against a wall to his left and the other man, taken by surprise, raises his hands in sign of surrender.

“Where’s she?” The henchman's lips curl upwards and Javier's stomach tightens painfully causing him to suddenly feel nauseous, “Where.is.she?” he hisses, pressing the gun against him removing the trigger.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” he says chuckling and looking at him mockingly.

“No me mientas, hijo de puta. (Don't bullshit me, you son of bitch.)”

“I knew she was an undercover whore, your slut friend.” Javier is about to lunge at him, but another colleague holds him back just in time before taking the henchman into custody.

Javier is feeling like throwing up, your cover is blown and anything could have happened to you.

“Fuck.” He sighs before taking a deep breath and using a flashlight to light his way down a dark staircase barely lit by green and blue neon lights.

Down there, music echoes, the officers see many rooms in which there are men of all sorts, the drugs still in strips on the tables ready to be inhaled, some of those men have probably escorts on their lap.

“Hands up,” CIA agents shout as they encounter people they know and don’t know.

Javier continues, where are you? Where? Please, where are you?

A sudden blow to his heart comes when he remembers Helena, what she suffered in order to be free. His stomach hurts so much from the tension he feels.

Then a sinking feeling when he finds the microphone he had given you on the ground completely destroyed. Javier increases his pace and the fear of not finding you or finding you in a different state than he left you in, causes him a sharp pain almost as if he were receiving a stab in the stomach and heart.

Please, please, please, make sure you're okay, please!

He opens a lot of doors, moves the drapes used for storage, when the anxiety is taking over, he sees an emergency exit wide open, he runs out and that's when he sees a black SUV in which someone is dragging you away, while you thrash and kick to break free from his grip.

Javi runs as fast as he can, screaming for you to let go, and that's when the person dragging you away turns around and points the gun at him. Javier barely has time to hide behind a car when a projectile explodes and fortunately only hits the asphalt.

“It’s over! Let her go!” he shouts again, moving slightly to the side and making to look towards the two of you.

El Diablo holds you tightly by the neck, alternating between pointing the gun between your temple and Javier.

“I’ll kill her,” he hisses, and when Javier hears the trigger being pulled, he steps out into the open and points the gun at the man.

“It’s over.” he repeats, advancing cautiously towards you “Let her go.”

El Diablo points the gun at Javier and when he’s about to shoot, another shot is heard, paralyzing both you and Peña. The air seems to have become frozen and crystallized because neither you nor he know whether the shot fired hit one or the other.

What you do know is that each kept their eyes on the other, terrified that the other might have been hit and injured, or worse. Then, you realize that the shot was fired in the air by another agent who came up behind your almost-kidnapper.

What happens next is very confusing, you just know that Peña comes closer to you hugging you tightly to him enveloping you completely in his arms and that he feels you trembling as you abandon yourself against him.

His embrace is so strong that it almost seems like he wants to make you part of him. Peña narrows his eyes, almost relaxing against you. You're safe.

“Estás aquí, cariño. Usted está aquí. Estás a salvo, cariño.” (You're here, baby. You're here. You're safe, baby.) His words flow from his heart with such naturalness and passion that your eyes fill with tears.

He feels you relax against him and then wrap your arms around his neck, “Javi,” you murmur with such tenderness that he almost feels his heart explode with the strong emotion, “please, take me away.” you whisper this plea in his ear resting your head against his shoulder.

“I’m holding you, I’m not leaving you,” he says, putting an arm around your waist and holding you close.

In other circumstances perhaps you’d have rejected him with revulsion condemning that gesture as something excessive, but not now, thinks Javier as he takes you away from there seeing lines of cars loading people from that monster's circle. Javier in other circumstances would have thrown some of them in himself, but now you are the priority. His priority.

When you get back to your room, the only thing you can do is rush to the bathroom and lock yourself in. You look in the mirror and see how this undercover mission has reduced you: your makeup is completely smudged, the top you were hiding the microphone in is half open, your skirt is torn in one corner. You rush to the sink and wash yourself frantically as if you wanted to erase everything that was the undercover mission. You open the sink and put your hands in the basin, the water completely wets your hands and you can't move a muscle, you're like paralyzed.

It’s you who insisted on having an active role in this mission, it’s you who proposed yourself and now look at where this obstinacy of yours has led you and how it has reduced you.

You felt like a piece of flesh without a will, as if you were not even a person, but an object in the hands of a madman. All of this makes you feel suddenly useless, as if you don't even have the right to feel everything you're feeling right now.

“If you need me, I’m out here.” You hear Javier’s voice far away, as if he wasn’t even really outside the door.

Your head is spinning and your stomach is in knots. You go back to staring at your reflection in the mirror, as if you couldn’t reconcile how you feel and what you see.

You feel broken, violated, and shattered. Your throat burns as if something has burned and scraped your throat.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

You place a hand on your throat, rivulets of water running down your neck ending up in the crease between your breasts. Your eyes fill with tears at the mere memory and as if in an attempt to escape that memory, you run out of the bathroom and open the door.

Javier is right behind the door and so as you leave you throw yourself, albeit involuntarily, against his chest. His arms immediately close around you and then places a hand behind your neck.

“You're safe now." He whispers softly in your ear, almost cradling you in his arms.

“Javi…” You moan as you let go and burst into tears, clutching his shirt tightly in your fist. You rub your face against his shirt, completely forgetting about your already smudged makeup.

“I am here, pequeño,” he whispers softly, as you sob, holding onto him even tighter. He gently caresses your wet cheek and places a kiss on your head, “Why don’t you change? You’ll take off these clothes, take a hot shower and then lie down for a bit.” he offers you without malice in his voice and you appreciate his attention towards you so much.

“Thanks, but I can't.” You say, squeezing your eyes shut and feeling more tears flying and wetting the cuff of his shirt.

Javi strokes your jawline, then places his thumb where there was a tear, wiping it away. He repeats the same gesture over and over again until you calm down and you can finally look him in the eye.

He doesn't say anything and you don't say anything. You stare at each other as if you're trying to talk with just your eyes. His eyes in this light seem to be almost black and it's as if they want to swallow you, you find yourself swallowing hard but unable to stop staring into his eyes and occasionally looking at his lips that seem so soft.

“Shall we sit down? It’s been a tough night for both of us.” You sniff, then nod and look down.

You and Javier sit on the bed. You are sitting on the tip as if you are going to run away at any moment, “Baby,” he calls making you look up at him again “now, you'll be fine." He caresses your cheek so gently that you almost dive into his arms again. It's not that bad to be close to him, even though you've always felt disgusted by the mere idea of being intimate with him.

“Javi,” you barely murmur his name “I was stupid for thinking I could do this. I’m stupid. Maybe I should turn in my badge, maybe…” you start babbling nonsensically.

“Hey, hey, hey, stop! Don't even say that.” he says, taking your face in his hands and caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re shocked and that’s normal. It’ll get better in the next few days.” His lips curve slightly upwards “I’ll be by your side.” He tells you “If you want.” He quickly adds. “But in any case, never think that you are stupid, understand? You are not at all. You are one of the best agents I’ve ever met. Confident, determined and stubborn.” he says again smiling at you and making you smile weakly “We make a great team, you and me.”

You feel so vulnerable right now that his words almost feel like a punch in the stomach and don't make you feel better, they just make your eyes fill with tears. You were really afraid that they’d rape and kill you down there.

Javier lets his gaze wander along your body, but he does it neither with lust nor with mockery, he has a strange light in his eyes almost as if he felt pain for you and with you.

Silence falls between you, but it's a silence that feels like a hug and a sweet caress, it's not unpleasant despite the situation.

“Why don’t you go wear something more comfortable?” he suggests, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand.

You nod, looking at the man next to you with a look full of gratitude, you would never have expected such care from him. You've always seen him as a tombeur de femme, as someone who will do anything to get what he wants. Tonight he could have been the protagonist of yet another arrest and slammed into another crime and instead he chose to be with you and not leave you alone in a moment like this.

“Thank you.” you say in a trembling breath.

“Don’t even say that,” he says, smiling at you. “Do you want a pair of sweatpants? I’ll get them for you,” he offers kindly, and your heart fills with a strange, great tenderness towards him.

“No, thanks. I do it myself.” you say, slowly standing up and approaching the closet where you keep your suitcase. You choose a pair of sweatpants and a short-sleeved t-shirt, “I'm going.” you say, pointing to the bathroom door, he simply nods.

As you close the door, you see him take off his jacket and remove the belt in which he has the gun. Only when you get back into the bathroom do you realize that you forgot the faucet on and that the water is still running. You turn it off. You take a deep breath and change.

When you come out of the bathroom, you find Javier lying down. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and long pants. He looks up at you, at your face. You notice how tired his face is, he's right, it's been a long and difficult evening for both of you.

“Light on or off?” he asks as soon as you lie down next to him.

“Javi, would you hug me?” you ask, turning your torso towards him.

He smiles sweetly at you and it's the first time that you reciprocate with tenderness too, he doesn't answer, but hugs you directly leaving the light on, while you close your eyes and you abandon yourself to that sweet, warm embrace.

It's not bad at all. His sweet and strong embrace manages to take away — even if only in part — all the fear accumulated in the last few hours, now all you need is to relax and try to surrender to that sweetness. Peña envelops you completely, his warm breath tickles your hair and neck and you find yourself smiling thinking about how much you tried to push him away and how much he himself tried to push you away and yet now you're here huddled together thinking that you're not so bad after all.

[kyokutsu-sama]

Coming back to my love

Rengoku x f!reader|Fluff, angst fic

A/n: Since I can't accept his death, that's I decided to recreate a scenario where he fights against Akaza but here he survives. He'll never be death for me.

Tw: mentions of blood, violence, wounds and suggestive content (mentions of nsfw)

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You didn't accept that. There was no way you would let him go. Of all the missions he had done before, this was definitely the one that scared you the most. You couldn't explain why, but it was as if a strange sensation ran through his body just thinking about it. Rengoku was a hashira with a natural talent and was very skilled at what he did, but you were so confuse and ended up ignored all that. He had already put you at ease and assured you that he would come back to you no matter what happened or how injured he got.

"Everything will be fine, you just have to trust me, my love." The flame hahira held your face with his warm hands

"No Kyo, I don't think you should go. I feel something dangerous." You looked down, feeling the fear on your heart again

"All missions are dangerous but I am strong. I will survive and I will protect everyone who goes with me and then I will come back to your arms." He said, bringing his face closer to yours until his forehead was touching yours

"Do you really have to go?"

"Yes, I was called for this. It is my duty as the flame Hashira. You understand that too, right?"

"Yeah...I do, my love." You spoke in a melancholic and reluctant voice. "But still--"

"Shhh." His finger went to your lips, silencing you. "It's alright, don't worry. Let me comfort you, okay?" He whispered with a gentle smile that softened your heart

And he did, he always did. When you cried, he hugged you and promised that everything would be okay, and it does. And when you laughed, he made you laugh even more because your smile was what motivated him and what was most valuable to him.

He loved you and loved you very much. And all those he loved, he protected with his own life.

He laid you down on the mattress, getting on top of you, covering your entire figure. His warmth comforted you so much, his big, bright and captivating eyes analyzed all of your naked and sweaty skin, memorizing your every expression, every corner of yours.

He leaned in so his face was close to yours, your panting breaths mingling before he kissed you passionately. Your hands ran through his yellow and red hair as the slowness of his lips dominated you.

"I love you." He whispered against your lips

"Kyo, please..." You whimpered, feeling a little tear run down your face. "Stay with me, don't go..." You hugged him, placing his head in the crook of your neck

You hugged him so tight as if you wanted to keep him there forever, as if you didn't want him to leave.

You weren't as strong as him and you didn't have his willpower either, but you would do anything, anything it took to protect him and keep him safe. He would do the same for you without thinking twice, you just wanted to return the favor to him.

"I'll go, but I'm coming back to your arms..." He whispered, breathlessly, in your ear. "To the arms of my love. My only love."

You sniffled and sob at his words. Rengoku left the crook of your neck and wiped your tears with his thumb and planted a few kisses on your lips and then kissed your forehead. The way he cared for you was special. It was gentle and sweet.

The next morning was a little calmer, but there was still some uncertainty and fear on your part. You went down to eat the breakfast he had made while you were sleeping. He wanted to return the favor of when you made food for him to take on missions. You couldn't help but find him cute once again, for all the care and love he gave you. He was the perfect husband and the one you loved the most.

But after that tasty meal, came the hardest part. Saying goodbye to him before he left on his mission.

Already at the entrance of the house ready to leave, he hugged you so tightly that you even started to cry. You didn't mean to do it but your feelings were so strong that you were afraid of never feeling that tight hug again.

"Do you promise that you'll be okay and that you'll take care of yourself?" He whispered

"I'll only do it if you promise that you'll come back to me safe and sound." You said with some sniffles and sobs

"I promise but I want you to assure me of this first, okay?"

"Alright, I'll do it."

"I trust you, you are strong and a wonderful woman." He said, pulling away from the hug and holding your hands

"You always say such beautiful things, you make me blush." ​​You looked down with an embarrassed smile

"Maybe because I love you and I don't hide my feelings from you." He smiled, wiping away your tears. "Don't cry, my dear. I just want to see you cry but with joy when I get back, okay?"

"Yes." You nodded with a little smile

All these words and images passed through his mind while he was trying to cut off the head of the upper moon three in a battle that seemed to last forever. The flame hashira thought the mission was over the moment he saved the lives of 200 people on that train. He promised to save everyone there and he would do it until the end. And not only did he promise that, but he also promised you that he would come back.

"I have to go back..." He thought. "You must be waiting for me.Hold on a little longer, Y/n." Hashira stuck his sword deep into the demon's neck, who also seemed to be resisting until the end

The fight was taking a long time until the sun came to help Hashira in that battle. The upper moon ended up managing to run away desperately, leaving him behind.

Everything seemed to be over, he fell to his knees completely devastated but he was still smiling because he felt alive even though death had been so close to him for a second. His abdomen was open on one side and was dripping so much blood that it could even stand out on his black uniform. His hands were worn and trembling, His left eye had a large wound and he couldn't see on that side due to the punch and also the blood that was dripping there, making it even more difficult.

He was so exhausted but he, still with a drop of energy left in his heart, got up and stood up.

His three tsugukos looked at him, with eyes full of tears, when they saw him still so determined.

"You fought well, young men. I'm proud of your work here." He said in a voice that almost didn't sound like his own. His typical loud, excited voice."But now, I have to... I need to... I promised..." He didn't finish his words and fell completely weak on the ground, making the broken sword fall right in front of him

"Rengoku-san!!!" Tanjiro shouted when he saw him fall

The trio thought that was his death, but it didn't take long for the kakushis to return and take care of the rest. Shinobu was among them and it was she who went to check on Rengoku.

According to her observations, he wasn't dead, but he was in a very pitiful state.

It was lucky that he got out of there alive.

You were on the porch of the house waiting for Rengoku, who seemed to be late since so many days had already passed since the day of his expected return. You thought he had discovered some new place and wanted to stay there for a few days before returning. Probably eating all kinds of food that place had to offer. You even smiled at the idea.

However, his crow arrived with the news that he had been taken to the butterfly mansion due to his serious condition, resulting from the last battle, which made you lose the sparkle in your eyes and the smile you were giving just now.

You just got up and ran there as fast as you could. You knew from the beginning that this would end badly.

"No, this isn't happening... It's just a bad dream." You thought to yourself

You arrived at the butterfly mansion and ran in desperately looking for your husband.

"Where is he? Kyojuro!?" You shouted his name

"Is everything okay? Do you need help, Y/N?" Shinobu asked when she saw you so disoriented and anxious

"My husband, where is he? I heard what happened. Is everything okay with him? Has he recovered? Where is he?" You asked countless questions, in tears of despair, but she calmly held your hands and you stopped for a moment

"Take it easy, Y/N. Everything is fine now. He was badly injured when we found him and unconscious, but he is better now. His wounds are treated, but it will take time to heal, obviously. He was also very shaken and even after he regained consciousness, his words were not very clear. He only woke up last night because all these days he was under care and resting to make sure that the wounds would not open because they were very considerable hemorrhages. It could have been fatal, but Rengoku really is a highly qualified Hashira. A normal person couldn't withstand those attacks." Shinobu explained the situation to you and you could only cry and cry when you heard all that. "I'm sorry if we didn't give you news sooner, but the situation got out of hand and only when things calmed down were we able to give you the news." She apologized

"Please take me to him. I need to see him so much."

"But don't try to force him too much, okay? He's still fragile." She asked and you nodded

She showed you the way, but before you entered the room, she stopped you for a moment, holding your sleeve.

"Y/n, don't forget to congratulate him too. I heard he saved 200 passengers who were on that train. No one died because of his efforts."

You stood paralyzed in front of the door after those words. Your pride and love for him only grew more when you saw how far he went to fulfill his duty.

You slowly turned to her and curved your lips in a proud smile.

"There will never be another Kyojuro Rengoku in this world. Only him. My husband." You said, before entering the room and closing the door

You saw him lying on a bed in the back and went over to him. You sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him as he slept, his hands still warm as ever. He was still your usual Flame Hashira but he looked so devastated at that moment that even you were speechless.

Your fingers ran over the bandages on the left side of his face and you saw that his left eye had been injured and he was probably blind on that side. You wanted to see the wounds he carried under those clothes but you thought your stomach wouldn't be able to handle seeing the suffering of a long battle that almost took him away from you.

"I was so scared for you, so much. I was so worried. You said you would come back soon but things got out of control and you must have suffered so much..." You closed your eyes and more tears ran down your face. "You were so strong and brave until the end. I am so proud of you. Thank you for coming back to me." You kissed his hand over and over again

"I promised, my little flame..."The sleepy and weak voice left his lips and you looked at him promptly. "I said I'd be back to the arms of my only love." He gave a little smile and you were left open-mouthed when you saw him awake

"Kyo! You... You woke up. Thank goodness." You said, feeling the tears, which were now tears of joy, fall down your eyelashes. "I missed you so much." You said, leaning in to hug him

"Hey hey, be careful with my wounds, love. They might open." He warned and you quickly leaned back a little, thinking you had tried too hard

"I'm sorry, honey, but I just wanted to see you and to be in your arms." You said and he smiled

"I know, I thought about you a lot when I was on this mission too. All I could think about was going back to your arms again."

"I told you, I told you it would be very dangerous. Why are you so stubborn?"

"I did what had to be done, I fulfilled my duty and my mission." He said, looking into your teary eyes. "Are you proud of me, my love?" A tear ran down his right eye

"I've always been proud of you, my angel." You said leaning down and resting your forehead against his. "I am proud of your work as a hashira and for being a great warrior but above all, for marrying you. I love you." You whispered sweetly against his lips and he smiled feeling his heart soften

"Even if your husband no longer has his left eye and has wounds all over his body?" He asked jokingly and you chuckled softly

"You look handsome in all the ways, you will always be beautiful in my eyes. I didn't fall in love with your appearance but with the beauty of your brave and strong soul." You nudged his nose with yours. "And you know what? When these wounds turn into scars, you'll get even hotter." You said and he burst out laughing

"Oh, you didn't say that."

"Why not? Are you laughing at me for telling the truth? You'll agree with me, believe me."You said and you both burst out laughing

*Bonus scene*

Three months after the incident, he retired. Well, let's just say he didn't retire completely because he still kept up with the situation and was always willing to help in whatever was needed. It may not seem like it, but convincing this man to retire was harder than it seems. Both you and Master Ubuyashiki talked to him and he ended up accepting. Uzui also thought it was a good idea for him to stay out, at least that way he could have his best friend alive by his side. Even if he later ended up retiring and joining the club as well. But Kyojuro quickly assured him that he would always be available to go on a mission and fulfill his duty once again.

That afternoon you were both at home. You were in the room tidying up some things while Kyojuro was just getting out of the shower. He was wearing a towel around his waist and you looked back and saw him. The large wound that was there before had healed and was now just another one on his body.

You approached him and he smiled as he dried his hair with the smaller towel.

"See this here?" You caressed the scarred skin gently

"The scar?" He gave you a questioning look

"I told you a few months ago that when it healed, you'd looked hotter..." You said and he chuckled softly

"So?"

"So, I guess I was right. In fact, you've gotten even hotter than I thought." You bit your lower lip and he laughed

"You're feeling a little flirty today, aren't you?" He held your hands and kissed them."You make me fall in love with you again like the first time."

"You said before you left on that mission that you don't hide your feelings for me. So why do I have to hide my feelings for you?" You said, bringing your hands to his shoulders, caressing the damp skin with your fingertips. "You're my love, forever my flame hashira."

"I guess I can't call myself the flame hahira anymore." He gave a little smile

"It doesn't matter, and you know why? Because you left your mark in this position and I don't think anyone else can take on that role and do what you did. I said this before and I'll say it again, there will be no other like you."

"You're definitely making me fall for you again."

"Is that bad?Because look," You jumped into his lap, wrapping your legs around his waist."I will gladly do it again and again, just as I will gladly kiss your scars and make you proud of them."

"Well that sounds good to me" He agreed, smiling at you

"Good, since we're both in agreement, let's go then."

[zylphiacrowley]

I am so exhuasted.

[vaguely-concerned]

in his and davrin's banters, lucanis exhibits a certain little shit energy I don't think we see him have with anyone else other than illario and honestly I am living for this

[naamahdarling]

.