#I'm finally becoming the 'life goals wife goals' I told you I wanted to become; not that it matters but I hope you're proud of me

[starcolle-archive]

I am a god ...or at least a domestic goddess!!

I put together this new organizer for our front door/living room, and I fucked up a few times while building it ...however, I figured out how to fix the issues! (Nearly stripped screws too tightened; I used Olive Oil to lubricate the joints & screws, then used blunt force at very specific points to loosen the points of contact, which eventually allowed me to take the screws out, flip the required piece around, then reinstall said screws properly without tightening them too much this time.)

I spent like 5 or 6 hours today [while "watching" a semi-leftist video essay on Fallout: New Vegas & its DLCs] putting this thing together. It's a present for my lawfully wedded roommate [aka my husband], and I'm looking forward to her having a place to hang her purses & bags instead of having to hang one on the deadbolt. It was exhausting, and I ended up eating a bunch afterwards, but I'm proud of myself.

I don't think there's anything I love more than acts of service for the ones I love. (Which is probably why it hurt not being able to make & send you or take you anywhere.)

[russo-woso]

My clingy girl | Chloe Kelly

"Baby, i'm so sorry. I wish I could be there. I really wish I could but I've still got roughly two months left." You apologised to Chloe over the phone.

You had been deployed in South Sudan for just over 9 months.

You had gotten used to being deployed for such long periods but there wasn't a day that went by that you wished you was at home with Chloe, going to her matches to support her.

Your job in the British army was so rewarding, but so demanding and sometimes heartbreaking at times.

This deployment was harder than any before though.

The last time you were in England, you had just been let go from being deployed for 7 months. That was in early July of 2022. This meant that you were able to watch Chloe in the euros. Including the final.

You were in the family and friends section with her family during the final. To this day, you still can't explain how proud you are of chloe. Not only for scoring the winning goal, but just for everything she's achieved.

Once the final whistle blew, Chloe ran straight over to you, engulfing you into a hug before pulling you in for a bruising kiss.

Once the celebrations were over on the pitch, and the trophy lifting ceremony was over, Chloe came over to us once again, but this time you got down on one knee.

That day will always be one of the best days of your life. You got to watch your girlfriend become a European champion, and then afterwards, you managed to make her your fiancé and soon to be wife.

The very next day, you got a phone call saying you had 48 hours before you was being deployed again.

You and Chloe were both sad that you had to say goodbye to each other but Chloe took it the hardest.

As the flashbacks of Chloe's face when you left played, a familiar voice was heard over the phone, bringing you out of the trance you were in.

"Y/N, I know you'd be there if you could. Don't be sorry, babe." Chloe said, her voice breaking as she said it.

The lionesses had a big match against Brazil. It was a one match tournament called the finalissima and with Chloe's top notch performances at the minute, there was no way she wasn't going to play.

"Listen Chlo, I only have thirty seconds left on the phone. I love you so much, baby. So so much. You're going to smash it during--" You began but the sound of beeps indicated that your time on the phone had run out.

You put the phone down before returning to your set up bed which currently had a framed picture of you and chloe on it.

The picture had just been taken when you had proposed to her.

You gently kissed the glass covering the photo as a tear ran down your face.

"Corporal Y/L/N, we need to talk."

————————

That conversation is what lead you to here, on your way to Wembley.

You had been let go from deployment for a month.

You hadn't told Chloe, you wanted it to be a surprise for her.

God, you couldn't wait to see her again. To hold her again, to feel her lips on yours.

You had spoken to Leah and she had managed to make sure you had a seat.

On the way back to England, she had messaged you explaining that to get you a spare ticket, she had to inform UEFA you'd be coming and they wanted you to help give out the medals.

You figured it made sense agreeing to it because it would be the perfect way to surprise chloe.

The main thing on your mind though, was chloe. Your Chloe.

————————

You had arrived at Wembley, in your full uniform, and made your way to the family and friends box.

Chloe's family spotted you straight away, gasping and immediately jumping up to hug you.

You sat down and watched the match.

Tears welled in your eyes when you saw Chloe.

She wasn't in the starting 11, but you saw her sitting on the bench, waiting for her turn to shine on the pitch.

With a goal from Ella Toone in the 23', we had stayed in the lead all throughout the game.

Chloe had come on in the 74', which ultimately made you cry again.

Somehow, 3 minutes into injury time, Brazil managed to find an equalizer meaning the game would go into extra time.

Everyone was sat on the edges of their seats all throughout the extra thirty minutes.

A loud sigh was visibly heard when the final whistle blew, indicating that the game would go to penalties.

Georgia was the first to take the penalty, which she successfully did, The Brazilian player doing exactly the same.

Ella missed the following penalty, but the Brazilian player did too.

It was when Rachel scored her pen, and the Brazilian player didn't, that a surge of hope ran through you.

Alex followed next, scoring her penalty.

Once the Brazilian player had scored a penalty for Brazil, Chloe stepped forward to take one.

She placed the ball down onto the penalty spot and took a few steps back.

The ref blew her whistle and Chlo took her iconic leap before smashing the ball into the back of the net.

You jumped up, hugging Chloe family before focusing my attention onto the pitch again.

You saw Chloe running into the corner before saluting.

It had become her new celebration, she had explained over the phone that it was dedicated to you. 

You started making yourway down to the tunnel because the trophy ceremony would be soon.

As you waited in the tunnel to be announced, you placed my cap on your head, making sure it was straight.

"And to award the medals and the trophy, please welcome Colonel Y/N Y/L/N." The announcement was made and you made your way onto the pitch.

Your eyes landed straight on Chloe, who looked as though she was about to fall to the ground.

A massive smile grew on your face as she started running towards you.

She jumped into your arms, her legs wrapping round your hips, your hands supporting her up.

"Hi, baby." You croaked, your voice breaking, as she buried her head into your neck.

"Are you really here?" She managed to get out through the tear as you nodded your head. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, my love. More than you'll ever know."

Chloe then took her head out of your neck and placed both hands on your cheeks, her thumbs rubbing over them.

She then leant in and you made the final movement to connect your lips.

"I've waited to do that for nine months." She admitted and you put her down on the floor, pressing your lips on hers once more.

"I know. And we've got a whole month to make up for times we couldn't." You tell her, resting your hands on her hips, holding her close to you.

"We can plan our wedding now, we can go out for walks at night like we used to do, I can show you the best cafe in town. It's just opened but it has the best coffee and every time I go in there it just reminds me of you. Oh, and I can show you—" Chloe rambled on and on but you just looked at her in awe.

"Baby, I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you." You told her and bought her in for a kiss

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, babe, but as much as I don't want to let you go, I've got to give your teammates their medals." You pointed out to her, pointing at her teammates who were all watching the interaction between you and Chloe.

"I don't want to let you go." Chloe whispered in your ear.

"How about you stand next to me whilst I give out the medals and then I'll give you yours at the end. That way you don't have to leave me." You chuckled at her clinginess and intertwined your fingers with hers, taking off your cap and putting it on her head. “My clingy girl.”

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 29

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 6.1k

IMPORTANT a/n: Hello! She's here....

I suggest reading The Holiday chapter I posted this Christmas, before this one.

I hope you enjoy. HEHEHE

December 1989

Javier’s uncle died very suddenly. 

Escobar didn’t. Javier swears he has spent twenty years of his life in Colombia. Tainted by death, sex and drugs. What is the point of anything when you’ve become desensitized to tragedy? Time slows each time. He can't keep count of how many hours he has spent outside of various buildings just waiting for medics to roll out the victims. Hours he spent, cigarette in hand just talking about what's next while bodies are wheeled away. Days spent in bed with women racking his bills sky high. Just because sometimes he can't come home to a bed empty.

 He had enough, he broke protocol and he knew that the hammer was to come down on him. He knew that the DEA was just as twisted, a fearful institution that only cared about profit. Because if there are no more cartels, there is no more DEA. The only goal was to kill the big man, capo, whatever you may have. Make the Americans proud, we did that. We killed The Drug Pin. But the cartel doesn’t just die with its leader but that's it, to the DEA, the performance is over and it's time to move on. Send them all home, leave the country in shambles. So fuck it, Javier was tired of being congratulated when he just felt like a bad guy. 

He knew the government, his organization, were aware of its corruption. There hadn't been a care. 

The rest of the guys were being reassigned and they asked him to resign quietly. After all he did for them. Bled himself dry. And all it took was for him announcing his disappointment for them to threaten being fired, tarnishing his reputation. 

Or of course, leave quietly and tell his colleagues he was just ready to settle down. 

Escobar and George Peña died on the same day. Javier wasn’t home for 3 days, he missed all the frantic calls from his father. On the third day he was asked to resign quietly. 

He went home, slept and drank. Skipped a session with Dr. Hertz. Ignored the phone calls that came in. Stared at the resignation form on his coffee table. Buried himself in a different cunt each night. 

Until he signed, packed his home and picked up the phone. 

Chucho Peña was one of 2 children. He was the baby, his brother was twelve when he came into the world. It was a rough age gap. They weren't always very close. George was around for the big milestones: Chucho's wedding, Javier’s birth, a few birthdays and there for his brother when his wife left. But mostly, George spent his time in his high rise apartment in Houston. It's where Javier lived for a year at age 15. When he wanted to be a cop, when Chucho took a chance and paid an ungodly amount for The School of Law and Order. 

George had just entered remission. He was diagnosed with melanoma a year prior, it wasn’t life threatening but still scary. Javier made sure he took his medication on time. 

He didn’t, he got sick again, how could he know? 

He finally called home and he was already buried. His father had to do it alone. 

That's when Javier decided to see Dr. Hertz again.

“Will you be continuing sessions back home?” Dr. Hertz had a furrow in her brow since the beginning of the session. Since told her about the resignation, about the death, about how fucking stressful it is to pack. He wonders if she’ll miss him.

“Are you still married?” He uncrosses his legs and ashes his cigarette on the tray next to his seat. Dr. Hertz has dealt with him for nearly three years. She just waves off his flirtation, she calls it a defense mechanism. An attempt to change the topic, ease the waters with something he’s good at. She’s immune to his ways. 

She laughs, “Yes. I am. Will you? Continue, therapy I mean.” 

“Happily?” Javier tilts his head. Dr. Hertz doesn’t entertain him any longer. He chuckles, “Sorry. I’m not sure. I don’t think I want to tell my story all over again to another person. Or professional I guess. Sounds fucking exhausting.” 

She nods, lips in  a fine line like she’s holding back. Javier sighs in annoyance knowing that face well. “Just say it Hertz.”

“Well,” She closes her notebook and he knows he’s in for it. “I think that you have made significant progress in dealing with your past. With your mother, with Andrea, with Lorraine. But life won't stop hurting you just because you worked some things out. And I know you. Very well. I know that the second you go home you’ll be contacting her.”

“Doctor I-”

“Nope. You know that's the truth. You might go home and she might be married, or pregnant or maybe you’ll come home and she’ll want you again. All of those realities come with struggle, and with change, and growth. You are capable, and very emotionally intelligent for a man your age so I’m not saying this to coddle you. But you should continue therapy, in any form. We all need to be heard. I don't care if it's bi-monthly. Or on and off for a few years. If everyone had a therapist we all wouldn’t have such a hard time handling the ups and downs of life.” She crosses her legs and locks eyes with him. “But, do what you believe is best for you. I will miss having you as my patient.”

His eyes fall to his shoes because fuck. “You’re right. I’ll probably need a shrink for the rest of my life simply based on all the dead bodies I've seen before the age of thirty.” He chuckles but she doesn’t reciprocate. She just opens her book again and goes right back into what she does best. Getting him to talk. 

“Talk to me about the resignation.”

“It’s like cancer. This fucked up institution. You know, my uncle George had melanoma at first. There on his skin,” Javier points to his elbow. “On the surface, and yes it made him sick. They removed it, and made him go through that radiation therapy. And the solution was a good one for a few years, but until it wasn’t. He was more susceptible to other cancers and years went by, and it was just everywhere. His blood, his colon. Topical solutions just don’t work like that. The sickness was systemic.” He leans back into his chair, legs spread. He hoped he wasn’t in pain. “Me, Murphy…” He pauses and thinks of the casket. “Carillo… we can’t be the medication. We don’t work. We haven’t worked. I’m aware, and I couldn’t be quiet about it. So whatever, I’ll take their hush money.” It was a lot. He can start working on the house he always said he’d build on the ranch this spring. He could have months of relaxation. Maybe get a degree, something.  “I’m a part of the problem too I guess.”

“You’re human. You deserve to breathe. We worked together for a long time and you still haven’t learned how to give yourself grace”

It was what he needed to hear. She has said it a million times but today it stuck. 

He’ll be home for the holidays.

“Are you in the right headspace to see your mom?”

“Is anyone ever in the right headspace to see their parents?” 

You sit on the floor of your bedroom, folding clothes. Honestly, you haven't spent a Christmas at home in years. You had no intention of heading back to Laredo until spring break. But you heard about the passing of George Peña. You hadn’t known the man but you knew that many of the Peña holidays were spent up at his home. It won’t be that way anymore and you’d love to visit him for this holiday. Bring him a gift, be there for him how he’s been there for you. 

Of course, you’ll go home. Your bedroom has a new bed for guests, so says your mother. You’ll see if maybe she’s interested in spending time with you. You don’t even think you’re going to try. You’re still curious if maybe she will.

Jaya walks to your calendar. “So you’ll be back… January 3rd?”

“Mhm.” You stretch out your leg with a wince. You had the nastiest scrape on your knee from this morning. You knew it’ll dry and crust by the time you get to Texas. 

In a rush to catch the subway today you tripped on the last stair and split right through your tights. You tried not to cry when you settled into the cart with blood trickling down your stocking. 

Jaya, who was already preparing her house sitting duties, placed cream on the scrape. 

She offered to stay at your place while you go back to Texas. Which means liberal use of her spare key to your apartment even before you leave. Crashing at your place after drinks with her boyfriend in your neighborhood. Or just showing up. But hey, she’s your best friend and she’ll be watching your birds for free. 

“I took two extra days off. Mr.Fyre will be covering for me.” You side eye her in anticipation for her questions. She smirks at you with a head shake. 

She rolls over in your bed, “That poor man. His dick still big?” 

You blush, “Yes. Too bad he finishes after ten seconds. Last week he was fucking me right there.” You point to the dresser and Jaya widens her eyes. “And he came the second he put it in. It was kind of hot. He fingered me afterwards so I forgave him.”

Mr. Fyre, Gregory Fyre. The hot new 24 year old substitute that you’ve been sleeping with for two weeks. He came in right after you cut it off with Christian. He walked in that teachers lounge and asked you to stop talking so loudly. The two of you ended up making out in the parking lot. 

He had you there on the dresser, knuckle deep in your cunt. While you tense your stomach and picture another face in front of yours. Gushing on his palms in ten seconds. 

Yeah. You’re fucked. 

At the very least he’s a man who can take a hint. So it’s been fun and easy. Easy to get off and you know, bye, get off now. 

“Your sex life is so interesting. Did he question why you were moaning the name Javier?”

You giggle tossing your panties at her. She catches it and twirls it on her finger before flinging it back at you. “That was one time, many months ago with Christian.” You cringe, “So it does not count.” 

Jaya sits up again, her face changing slightly. Here brows knitting and her eyes scanning the room. The habit of no eye contact that comes before she says something you don’t want to hear. Which happens more than you’d expect. She kept it real. You tilt your head at her gesture. “What if he’s there this time?” 

Brows lifting slightly you look back down at the dress in your lap and you continue to fold. You shrug. “He hasn’t been there every other time so-“

“You would purposely go home on random days of the year. It’s Christmas, Escobar's dead and you told me his uncle just passed.”

You frown at the realization. Washed over with reality. You know he hasn’t come home at all yet, you’re sure his job just doesn’t stop because Escobar is gone. But if it was anytime to visit , it would be now. You don’t respond and just place the dress in the luggage. “Will you be okay to see him?” 

“Yes?” She gives you a crazy glance and you can't even convince yourself.

“No. I don’t know. I'm not like angry at him because somehow his decision was a good one. I feel like… if he asked me to see him that day I would have never left town. Which by the way, has been the best decision ever.” You smiled at her and she smiled back. 

“So there’s no hard feelings.” She says it like it's bad. 

You know exactly why it could be a disaster. It's impossibly difficult to be angry at a person that could die at any moment in their line of work.

She continues to read you like a book. 

“It would be extremely easy to fall back into him when the only emotion you feel is sadness and longing.” You nod because she was always right. It would be so easy. So easy to find comfort in each other. So easy to see him and-“Whatever you do just promise me you won’t forget about your life here.”

You narrow your eyes and extend a pinky to her. 

She leans over the bed and you interlink. Sun peaks through your window and warms the two of you.

It’s the same sun. 

He knows it. 

It's the same. He knows you sit and feel it too. He can see you, looking outside the fire escape of your apartment. The sun offers you warmth in thirty degree weather. He does the same except it isn't so cold. It’s warm all around, hot even. He shares a sun with you and still feels like it's different. He misses you so badly that the thought of being warmed by the same star offers him a comfort beyond comprehension. 

Look where life has taken us. 

Javier is at the steps of the place he called home for a few years. All his belongings already ahead of him, delivered at the footstep of his fathers ranch. 

In less than a day, he’ll be dropped there just the same. Murphy has come to see him before he goes and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Javier clears his throat, afraid to reveal himself. He was an open wound, a live wire. Afraid to come home and not see you. Even more terrified to come home and see you. 

“You tell Connie?” He asks. Murphy sniffles, holding his fists together. 

“That you're leaving?”

Javi nods, “Yeah.”

Murphy exhales, “Yes. She said it was the right choice. Then told me to break the rules so I could come back too.” He laughs a hearty one and Javier follows, rubbing his chin. It was professional, sure, but Steve and Connie became like family during his years. They were older, had their shit together, they were making it work. Connie could read Javi. She was the reason he decided to just go to see someone. “Maybe I should. Olivia can walk now. Can you believe that?”

Javier purses his lips with an exhale. “Jesus.” What he wouldn't give to have a family with you. He’d leave it all, all over again at least. He’d ruin his name, leave in the most dishonorable way if it meant coming back to you and his baby. It's silent again and it's too late. His thoughts betray him. You're all he can think about. You hated the holidays with your family. There was no way you’d choose to just come home now. 

The silence rang loud. Loud enough for Steve to hear his thoughts. 

“You’ve got to talk to that girl. Don’t waste anymore time.”

“She wont want to.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because she's stubborn. Because I abandoned her when that's all she knew.”

Murphy shook his head , tapping his knuckle on the step between his legs in frustration and turned to Javi. “But you didn't. You let her go. You needed to. She needed to heal in her own way. You needed help, you fucking got it.” Murphy’s lips twitch. “And listen man, I know we made that pact two years ago. If you go, I go. When it came to therapy, I stopped going to that shit after 2 months.”

Javi’s jaw drops, brows furrowing. He was almost there, on the verge of tears but there Murphy goes. Making him laugh. “What?”

“Yup. And I’ve been lying to you because I saw something in you change-”

“You fucking asshole.”

“You’re fucking welcome Agent Peña.”

Javi scoffs with a chuckle and reaches in his pocket for his pack. “Yeah whatever.” 

“Yeah yeah. If all the stories you told me about that girl are true, there is no way she isn’t waiting for you.” 

“I didn’t wait.” There it is, that guilt he felt for years. The guilt he felt after finding pleasure with others. The stomach churning pain that came with being forehead to forehead, breathless, coming down, and opening his eyes and seeing a face unfamiliar.

Murphy shakes his head. “I didn’t mean it that way. None of that matters.”

A beep has the two flinching. Looking up at the taxi. Javier's heart is suddenly loud enough to ring his ears. The two stand to their feet and hug. Tightly, a brotherly hold he isn;t used to but welcomes. “Sorry If I was ever-”

Murphy shakes his head, “Don't worry about all of that. Make sure you check in on my girls.” They part and Javier nods like it's his duty. “And you know. Be kinder to yourself and just…” He pats his shoulder, “Just reach out to that fucking girl.” Javier feels the pat like a push, like a shove. 

Then he goes on his way, thinking of you like he does.

Melissa Diaz knows that it’s too late and frankly she feels like she’s too old to repair her relationship with her daughter. Each time you come home there's a thick air of discomfort. Like you're a stranger in your childhood home. Each conversation is laced with the unspoken toxicity that is your relationship with your mother. Too many years of hurt just to speak comfortably. 

Which is precisely why you decide to get a hotel room this time around. 

You unpack what you can, glancing at the clock to figure out if you have time to shave before driving to your moms. You promised to help her bring the gifts to Chucho’s house tonight. You had only flown in 5 hours ago. You decided those 5 hours were for your own mental preparation. 

The truth is, when you remove yourself from a toxic environment the second you get back you realize that your tolerance is close to none. So you decide to not only stay away but also give yourself time to brace yourself so you don’t ruin Christmas. 

And this Christmas was different. It was for Don Chucho. You knew that he’ll be over the moon to see you. Thrilled to have the kids running around his house. Javier always said that Chucho would have had 10 children if life hadn’t gotten in the way. He loved the holidays but now that his only family is gone, you knew you had to be here. You had an hour so you scurry to the bathroom and shave, wash the New York off of you and step out a true Texas girl. 

Black sweater dress and stockings rubbing against your split open knee. Chanting, fuck, fucking fuck, fucker, fuck when rolling the thing on. Spritzing yourself in the orange blossom of Night Musk by Prince Matchabelli. Feeling strangely anxious to spend the holidays back home. There was a sense of excitement to see your siblings and niece. Excitement to watch the kids open gifts, yet splitting nerves at the thought of being back on the Peña ranch. 

Excited to drink Coquito, listen to Hector Lavoe, dance and eat. 

You grab your purse, grab the sack containing all the gifts you accumulated for your family over the month and head out to your car. 

You get to your mothers house in fifteen short minutes, not even given time to get into the house and say hello before she’s out on the steps very frantic. Cursing in Spanish about Sol staining her dress. James, not taking anything seriously as always, unloading the Christmas gifts into the trunk of your rental and kissing your cheek welcoming you back home. You hardly had a relationship with your mothers husband, sometimes you wondered how a dynamic like theirs worked. He was a reserved, ultra-relaxed and goofy guy. Your mother, a tornado of frantic emotions and anxiety. It seems he was never phased by all of it. Maybe a part of you envied it. Envied being loved enough to be accepted. 

Your four year old sister seemingly unphased as well by Melissa’s tirade while she’s on her knees at the doorstep wiping ice cream from her red dress. Sol zeroed in on you, waiting for her mother to quit the distressed cleaning so she could run to hug you. Her knees buckling and moving from side to side in anticipation. “Stop all the moving.”

“But it’s my sister!” She whines and you smile at her with arms crossed at the side of your rental. Your mother sighed and let her free. She patters against the driveway in tiny black flats and into your arms.

Disfunction and all, you head to Chucho’s house. Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes ringing loud on the local station. Not a flake on the ground, fifty degree weather, Frankie’s car trailing behind, homes and picket fences littered in green and red.

 Christmas in Laredo was in full swing. 

The moment you notice that Don Chucho’s driveway was full you begin to panic. 

The second you park, Genie crowds your car. Little Annie’s face squished against her mothers shoulder. Asleep already. You hop out of the car and pull her into a hug that stirs the baby. “Sorry!” You whisper, a December breeze causing a rise of hair. Your brother joining in on the hug. 

“Merry Christmas.” He whispers, kissing your cheek and his daughters who stirs again. A little girl, too big to be carried but he grabs her anyway. Spoiled little thing. “All of Chucho’s friends are here already apparently. The whole town is in there.” He laughs and you furrow your brows.

“Amazing.” You deadpan. Of course, what could you expect from a Christmas Eve in your hometown. A place where everybody's family is yours even if they don’t like you. You nod and look around to see if everyone is ready to head in, hoping they weren’t so you could breathe. But when you look up you see James picking up Sol and heading toward the house you knew you were running out of time. Frankie’s gaze is burning and he’s reading your body language like a book. How much has changed between the two of you. It took a marriage and a baby to understand you. You'll take what you can get because when he places his hand on your arm you feel the surge of courage.

Genie comes to your other side and you follow your mothers footsteps. 

Despite the Chucho house being a second home to your family, your mother still knocks. Even when the holiday music is so loud it bleeds through the windows covered in Christmas gel clings. She knocks politely, of course. Then pounds after a few seconds of silence. Making her fiance snort and Sol giggle. 

The door swings open, meeting a smiling Chucho whose eye’s haven't landed on you. “Que bueno! Feliz Navidad.” He brings your mother into a hug, then James, and tickles Sol. His eyes then fall to yours and he takes a step back. His brows furrowed for a moment and you wonder if he knows something you don’t. But then he smiles and pulls you into a hug at the doorway of his home. “Andrea, wow. I’m so– when did you get here?” His hold is tight and he smells like he’s been in the kitchen all day. He smells faintly of Javier. 

A smell you thought you forgot until you were hit so rudely with it. It creates a pit in your stomach that you know you can’t shake. He’s excited you can tell but his body language isn’t what you expected. 

“We're going to settle the girls in.” Frankie holds your shoulder for a moment and your family leaves you in the hall. You hear them in the next room giving excited hellos and cheek kisses. Giving you privacy in a crowded room. Still, with a face of worry, anticipating your response. 

“I flew in this morning. You know it’s the holidays.” Which meant nothing, considering you hadn’t stayed for Christmas in the past two years. You smile weakly, afraid of his reaction. Eyes shifting across your face and he lifts an arm to hold your own. Like he’s bracing you. 

His hat casts a shadow on his face in this dimly lit hallway. Behind his head is that god awful picture of you in your cap and gown. Surrounding it are baby pictures of Javier, Frankie and Genie at their wedding, images of his brother and Javier straight faced in police attire. “I didn’t know you were coming– I was going to call to tell you–”

“Papi, was it fifteen minutes for the artichoke?” 

You and Chucho both snap your heads at him. Your brain short circuiting. Chucho letting out a sigh and you so desperately want to let out a sob. Your chest rises and he’s staring at you with stars in his eyes. Fork in hand, hair overgrown and a Kiss The Cook apron. 

You gaze at Javier Peña after three difficult years. Three years of concern, of healing, of yearning. Of–of, fuck you can’t think. He’s here. He’s here and all you want to do is hug him. Wrap your arms around him and melt into one. 

But he’s there in between the cased opening of the kitchen and the living room. Stealing the attention of your family that havent seen him in just as long. Still, his brows furrow and he takes a step forward. “Andrea.” He doesn’t say it like a question, he says it like it’s been on the tip of his tongue for years. 

“Javi!” Your brother shouts from the living room and runs straight into him. Taking the attention from your body while it floats somewhere unknown. Genie follows, and your mother. Hugging, and kissing and questioning and shoving babies in his face. Still you stare and he looks over his shoulder at you and his father at the doorway. There, you float, unable to feel, zero gravity. Soaring with your feet on the ground and your heart pounds so loud you feel it in your ears. 

Chucho looks back at you. “He came home today too. If I knew-”

You frown, absolutely turning down whatever blame he must be putting on himself. “No-no. Please, it’s okay.” You wonder if other fragile things would like to be treated with less care. You suck in a sharp breath and nod. “I’ll– I just need a moment.” Your jaw clenches trying to prevent your emotions from steam rolling your logic.

Your emotions that tell you to cry and run into his arms. Or your logic that tells you to take a step back to remember the speech you practiced if you ever saw him again. You swallow and look up at him again and turn away. 

Javier watched you open the front door and walk out. His heart sinking, he wanted to fall to his knees and beg you to look at him for just more than three seconds. He tunes out the questions from everyone he loves. He’ll feel bad about it tomorrow. He looks up Genie who noticed his fixation on the front door you just stepped out of and she presses her lips together and tilts her head toward the door. 

Javier takes the olive branch. He just needs to talk to you. Even if you tell him to go fuck yourself or slap him, or spit in his face. He’ll invite it in. Accept it. Accept anything if it’s coming from your dear hands or delicate mouth. You rot him from the inside out, spoiled love for him. He can’t love anyone else. So it’s worth a try. 

He steps away from the chattering circle with a murmur of, one second, and he walks out of the house. 

The brisk December air cools his cheeks instantly. Christmas time is strange. Its the only holiday that has a distinct feeling. A feeling of stress, comfort, and emptiness only served with a red bow and yellow lights. He expects to find you right on the porch but you're at the bottom of the stairs. Arm supporting your elbow while you bite your thumbnail nervously. The string lights on the porch roof illuminating your beautifully made up face, and the tears that came with it. 

Javier stands at the top, afraid to speak. Twirling the stupid fucking fork in his hand. Feeling like an idiot in his outfit. I would have dressed nicer if I knew you’d be here. You look just as beautiful, different, but still. Your natural curls framing your face, black dress high up on your neck and stockings connecting to black boots. Please speak to me. 

You wipe your tears and turn your chin up. Strong girl. Arms crossed, you begin your interrogation, 5 steps between you. “How are you home?” Not a quiver in your voice.

He fights the urge to just ignore your question and run down those stairs and kiss you, wipe your tears, take you away. But he decided to stop being selfish years ago so he answers. “I resigned two weeks ago. I’m back home indefinitely.” He clears his throat. “Forever- I’m back here forever- I mean.” He rasps and you don’t hide your shock. Still you hold composure, eyes gaping a bit but shrinking in an emotion he can't read. Your brows furrow. 

Licking your lips, “Your turn.”

Javier’s brows knit closely, “My turn–?”

“Your turn.” Gesturing for him to continue. “You ask a question.”

“Andrea– can we please-”

“No- This is how I want to do it. So we can fucking get back inside and enjoy Christmas.”

Don’t you know I can't seem to enjoy anything if you aren’t mine? 

“Are you single?” It’s his first question and you scoff. He shrugs, finding no shame. He needs to know now, before he becomes too hopeful. Before he creates a mess because let's be real, if she’s seeing someone, she won't be after this week.

“Yes. Did you really see a therapist in Colombia?”

Javier smirked, pleased to know that you asked about him. Still you don’t crease at his growing smile. So he bites it back because it looks like you want to rip his head off. “Yes. I went every Thursday for almost three years. She’s finding me a new one in our area.”

“She?”  You snap. 

And lord forgive him for how the blood rushed to his dick. All of this felt like the conversation you had in 1986 when he came home. He hopes this Christmas ends with you pinned against his bedroom door and him telling you that he will do anything to make it work. His chin juts in a mocking way, playing with fire. “You jealous?”

Your nostrils flare. “You fuck her?”

“Eh. My turn.” He reminds you of the rules of your own game. You purse your lips and he likes to way they pout. “Are you mad at me for asking you not to come see me after the wedding?” It's the question that haunted him. He begged forgiveness from no one, torturing himself for pushing you away. Hoping you understood his intentions and didn’t see it as an invitation for you to stay away forever. But the more time that past, more days of no calls from you, he feared that maybe he fucked it all up.

Your eyes drop. Allowing the sounds of Christmas bells and chatter fill the wind between you two. 

“I was angry for a brief amount of time. Then I just felt sad for you. Because I know–” There it was, the crack. “I know you were put through so much and you didn’t want me to pick up the pieces. I would have you-” You look up at him, cheeks stained now. And he knows.

“You would have. I couldn’t let that happen again. I was tired of hurting you.”

“My hands are still scarred. I’ll re-open any wound for you.” 

His gums itch and his chin quivers at that. “Do you still feel that way?” He breaks the rules and you don’t seem to care anymore. 

“Of course. It's hard being angry at someone who is so far–who was putting their life on the line of their work. Javi– I’d get so sick from worry-” Fuck it, he takes those steps down to you. Cradling your soft face in his hands, thumbs brushing away tears. You fade into him. “I missed you so much.”

“Andrea, I missed you. None of my colleagues liked me because I was so riddled with grief.” He leans in so close, so close he could see the small freckles that hide in the winter. “I didn’t even want to try to get to know anyone.” He thinks of the faceless women that took him to a climax before they were on their way. Sadistically, he hoped you at least found comfort in someone. 

You close your eyes and he leans in to kiss you. You turn your face, rejecting him but he doesn’t care. He kisses your cheek in earnest and tastes your tears. Planting soft kisses up your cheek.

 “Are you seeing anyone?” 

He pauses his kisses and chuckles. “No.”

“Okay.” Eyes, opening you get on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck. Nails entangling in the back of his hair and he’s in heaven. What a privilege it is to be touched by you. Kissing his cheek yourself. “I won't kiss you.”

He was in heaven, your soft lips nipping at his face and his neck. He groans, “That's okay.” You nod against him. Moving your head to the other side of his face, exposing your neck while you kissed his face. He presses his lips to your neck. 

“I need time…” You moan, “To think.” Your nails scrape the nape of his neck and he’s getting harder each passing second. How the fuck did I end up here? 

“That’s okay– When do you go back– fuck don’t press up on me like that.” Her belly caused a friction in his pants that would definitely spoil the holidays.

“January third– sorry.” You suck on his neck and he groans once more. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

“Yes.” He says it like it was a no brainer because it was. Whatever mess came with this, he was fully equipped this time. Nothing holding him back. Besides the fact that she lives in fucking New York of course. You pull back from him and he feels the pit in his stomach grow darker and deeper. No, come back, bite me. 

“Not like that. I just want to be in bed with you.” 

He shrugs, he’ll take whatever he can get. “That's okay. My place or–”

“I have a hotel.”

He shakes his head, craning his head to press his lips against your ear. “If we get into that hotel room I’ll have no choice but to fuck you into that mattress.” he whispers but he means every word. He doesn't care if it’s too fragile to be this forward.

“Your place then.” You step away from him and he feels a great loss in his soul. Eyes roving to the door. “We are being suspicious. We should go inside.”

“I’m not hiding anything this time. If you want to use me for this week as a sleeping companion or a fuck toy or I don’t know a mortal enemy I’ll take it and everyone can mind their fucking business.” Javier snaps, he doesn’t care if you're just making an irrational decision because you miss him. He fucking misses you too, if it means two weeks of playing house- so be it.

Dr. Hertz would be so disappointed. 

“Or… Maybe just a friend.” You lie straight through your teeth and he lets you. You straighten your dress and wipe the remaining tears on your cheek and walk right past him. 

“Wasn’t it you that told me that you didn’t know how to be my friend in the winter?”

 It rings out in the air. He can picture it, Christmas eve 1979. You half asleep at The Smithfield’s Christmas party. You had been so jittery and distant. His idiot teenage brain couldn’t comprehend that the love you had for him made you act outside yourself, especially since for the first time ever you watched him show love to another girl. 

Your lips twitch in a smile, seemingly shocked that he remembers just as much as you. 

“Merry Christmas.”

[freyasigtryggrsdottir]

I See Fire chapter 7. (Thorin x reader)

Summary: Reader is the Princess of Goldar. She almost killed by Vlad, the biggest orc, but Dis saved and raised her in safe. But what if the revenge is the most important thing? The reader wants her throne and she will fight until her last breath.

Thorin is a single dwarf without Queen and he knows this is not good. He always grumpy and the gossips speak about, he is a weak dwarf, who don’t have enough power.

Fili fell in love in the reader.He knows, one day, he will be a king. And he hopes the reader will be his queen.

But Dis have an another goal.

An arranged marriage between the reader and Thorin, which changed everything. Broken hearts. Hopes. Dreams. Pain. Everything will burn.

Pairing: Fili x Reader (one sided), Thorin x Reader

__________________________________________

I didn't know how much time I spent in the abandoned floors. I walked a lot and I thought about a lot of things. I missed my mother, but she lied to me in my whole life. And Thrun....did he knew or at least expected the truth, before his life ended? His brother and his wife were traitors. I was sad, I felt the pain in my heart. Thranduil... why did he didn't told me earlier? He saw when my home fell, he knew that I'm alive and yet he kept that secret away from me for years. He didn't even came to see me. But if I'm the princess of Mirkwood, it ment I have an army, probably, and the help with those elves, I can retake Goldar and my people will be free again.

I felt again that harsh pain in my stomach, but it was worser. I hissed and I leaned to the cold wall with my back. I wanted to cry. I heard soft footsteps, but the pain became unbearable and I fell to the floor. My last memory was Legolas, who lifted me up from the floor and carefully took me into his arms. My brother is strong and brave. When I was young we played a lot and he won almost every time.

I felt a warm body beside me. I slowly opened my eyes. Thorin lied next to me with concerned eyes. "Finally, you are here with me, Amralime" he hugged me thigthly.

At that moment, the door opened, and Thranduil stepped into our room like a wildfire. He was furious. I don't wanted to talk with him, but I felt the pain again. I whinced.

"You need to change your form" dad words were command "This is your only chance to survive"

I sighed and nodded. I almost forgot how to change between my forms. This human skin were not the real me. It was a shelter, where I hid. A shelter, which was weaker. The last time, when I was in my, real, elf form was when I lost my parents. Since that day, I was afraid to use this power, because I was afraid, If I use again, my loved ones will die, just like on that day. "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you" whispered Thorin with a voice full of love "But you need to do that, your body is weaker in this form"

I nodded again and closed my eyes. I imagined myself in a bright, white cocoon, like a caterpillar, before they become beautiful butterfly. I felt something hot, who flow through my veins. Power. I hearc loud cracks, there were my bones and my body. It didn't hurt, but it was strange and familiar at the same time. I murmured those ancient words again and aiagn. My mother thaught me them. They helped me to change my form.

When I opened my eyes, the whole world changed. My skin became lighter, my hair longer and my senses better. But the pain in my stomach gone. A took a deep breath and sat up. Curious eyes watched me. Thranduil, Dis, Legolas, Fili and Thorin. They were with me and I was alive, like really, when a door open again and you see and sense everything clearlier. Dis gave me some water and I drink with one gulp. She smiled.

"Everyone go out, except my sister" growled Thorin and hugged me. Their arms never left my body.

Some of them didn't liked what the King said, but they did, because in Erebor, his word were everything.

"I thought you can't be more gorgeous, but I was wrong" he whispered to my lips while he gave me a gently kiss. I blushed and hid my face in his chest.

"How are you feeling, my little child?" asked Dis with a proud smile and sat down on the bed, close to us.

"A little strange, but it will go away with time. Finally I don't feel that pain" I replied. I bit my lips "Thorin, I know, we need a big wedding, because its a porotocol, but I want to be your wife, so maybe, we can make a little ceremony today"

A lot of ting changed, while I was in my elf form, and my mind too, my feelings. I felt so much stuff deeper.

[cynicalruins]

Changérion Bible - Aizawa Kazunari interview

Translation by Windii, scans by me

(Spoiler alert for a few episodes)

Hayami Katsuhiko is a just and handsome hero cadet who failed to become the righteous hero Changéríon. He is a hot-blooded and frank guy with seriousness as his strong point, but he is quite a klutz. He is supposed to save the day, but is instead saved, and he partners up with Akira in an odd but funny two-man team before he knows it, yet he's a superhero who dreams big… In reality, however, he is an aggressive and fiery young man who moved to Tokyo when he was drunk.

"I honestly can't believe that Changéríon was such a memorable work for so many people."

-Like Hayami, who played the role in the past, he says so with a mysterious look on his face. However, contrary to his own feelings, he says he is still receiving feedback from various sources.

"The other day, I was participating in a theater workshop."

-It was a full-fledged one, inviting a teacher from England for professionals.

"There were about 10 participants, some of whom were from Bungeiza, Daisan Erotica, and former members of Yume no Yuuminsha, so it was quite exciting. On the last day, one of them told me that they had seen Changéríon. I was surprised. They seemed to have been thinking for a long time about when they were going to say it, since it was the last day. That's when I realized that someone had seen it."

-It was the same thing on stage.

"Sometimes people who have been fans since the Changéríon days come to watch me, which is kind of incredible."

-He confesses that he never intended to become an actor in the first place.

"I know I'm being cheeky, but I just didn't like the normal routine."

-It all started with a movie. He happened to see a film on holiday that was so romantic and interesting that he wanted to play such a role.

"The name of the work is too faddist, so I won't tell you. But I like romantic stories. That's why I often watch romantic movies."

-He was born and raised in Miyagi Prefecture. After graduating from high school, he took it for granted that he would work for a local company.

"That was a very nice place to work, everyone was kind, and I was blessed."

-He was assigned to a factory. He wore a uniform and did the same work day in and day out.

"…I am embarrassed to say this, but one day I saw my reflection in the glass as I was working in my uniform. I am now living with my parents, and I can see a future where I will get a wife, build a house, and have children. And I wondered if that was what I wanted."

-He went for a drink with agonizing thoughts and then went straight into action.

"I drank until morning and took the bullet train to Tokyo first thing in the morning (laughs)."

-It was truly an "impulse."

"One thing I remember very well was the news of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait that was playing at Tokyo Station. It was still early in the morning, but people were gathering around the TVs in the storefronts, and I wondered what was going on. Oh, it's war, they said."

-That day the Gulf War broke out. Unbeknownst to others, his life also changed dramatically.

"That was when I was 20 or 21. I moved in and lived at my senior's house for a while, but my parents scolded me. They said, "It's your choice to go to Tokyo, but you should do the bare minimum as a human being," and that was a good point. I had no more money, so I went back to my parents' house to visit my workplace and sell my car to make money… It was a great place to work, and I still feel bad about it, and I am grateful to my parents for not stopping me."

-Thus, he finally arrived in Tokyo. However, even at that point, he did not have a firm goal in mind.

"Since I was tall, I had been told since high school that I should model, so I decided to try modeling in Tokyo. So I looked at magazines and looked for an agency… Then I saw a movie, and I had a goal of becoming an actor. I guess I couldn't allow myself to make an escape route, so I gave up on the modeling agency. But I didn't know how to become an actor, so I asked for introductions and auditions. When you are alone in Tokyo, you have to help yourself to survive, so in that sense it is a tough city, although you can get by with your own efforts."

-However, he decided to live here.

Scouted out in the hallway?! First serial drama!

"I went to Toei's headquarters with my office manager to say hello."

-It was on the production floor, where the desks of the producers belonging to the company were lined up.

"While the manager was greeting the executives, I was waiting in the hallway and my shoelace came undone, so I had to sit down and tie it back on."

-Then a man appeared (he seemed to be a very important guy).

"He suddenly asked me who I was, and when I told him I was an actor, he said, 'I see, now come with me.'"

-He didn't know why, but he was called in for an audition for Racing Squadron Carranger that was being prepared at the time. Unfortunately, he was too tall to fit in with the other members and was rejected. He then decided to take on Super Shining Soldier Changéríon.

"When I received the script for the first episode, I thought that if it was going to be a choice between Akira and Hayami, I should be Hayami because of my personality. I heard that the two of them were competing with each other until the very end, but they decided on me at the last minute."

-However, he confesses that he did not really feel it.

"I mean, I was readily selected to appear in a serialized drama series, and I wondered if it would be so quick and easy."

-However, after that, he ended up having to work very hard (laughs).

Changéríon was a "playground"

"At first, Hayami was supposed to be more cool and carry the shadow of not being a hero. But before I knew it, he turned out to be such a serious fool."

-It was your own fault, said scriptwriter Inoue at the time, or not (laughs).

"I guess it's my fault. I was often told by Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue that Hayami was not really this kind of guy. It is true that I was a bit aware of it, and there was a part of me that got carried away. It was my first acting job, and I had the strength of not knowing, you could say, or the feeling that it would be fine if it was funny. And I went overboard."

-However, his fearless vigor has created an image of Hayami as a hot-blooded, upright, stubborn, and good-natured person. In episode 9 "The Radiant Hayami!", for example, he transforms into the long-sought Changéríon in place of Akira, but his good-naturedness causes the dark creature, who begs him to change his ways, to flee. The hero is unable to wield his sword in the face of the apologetic opponent… Akira was an unconventional hero too, but is it our imagination that Hayami has also created a stir in the image of heroes of the past? Indeed, a hero is a being who slaughters his enemies in the name of justice. The antithesis of this attitude seems to have led to the current Kamen Rider Ryuuki.

"I feel that Mr. Inoue and Mr. Shirakura have successfully created an amusement park or, well, a more primitive park or playground for us. It's like we were just playing there. For example, "We made swings. But this is a swing set, so how would you play on it?" So we all thought hard about what we would do. We were really just having fun playing. If you could see the antithesis of that, I think it was because Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue were so great."

-The only regret he has is that the program, which he says he played around in with all his might, was terminated in the middle of the cour. To be precise, it was not cancelled, but rather not renewed for a fourth cour, which was a shock to him since he thought it would continue.

"I guess I wanted more of a sense of convergence from everyone, because it ended without any. But now I think that last episode was good. The idea of a loop between a carefree daily life and a serious battlefield is amazing, isn't it? But I also think that maybe that's the way life is. As for myself, I wanted to settle things as Hayami. I think Hayami has always been a guy with a very negative attitude, thinking that he was supposed to be the one to make it. Just as it would have been nice to have a hero who was not cool and had no sense of justice, which Akira symbolized, it would have been nice to have someone with darker thoughts. Likewise, I think it would have been okay for Kuroiwa (Ogawa Atsushi) to be a villain and still fall in love with Eri (Kochihira Chika). …When you think about it like that, it was certainly a work that broke a lot of stereotypes."

-Hayami, who was in the midst of a conflict, however, finally achieves his longed-for transformation in episode 32 "Enter the Second Warrior!"… but this is Changéríon, after all, and Hayami transforms by eating dried plums (is he Suppaman?).

"For a long time, there were rumors. I wondered how it would turn out, and then it happened (laughs). I like the fact that Hayami is unaware of it, it's just like him."

-We asked him about his memorable episodes.

"I was happy to see the transformation. The scene where he eats Chief Munakata's seed of darkness and gets down on his knees saying, "That was delicious!" was funny. Then there was the scene where Akira and I switched places in "The Radiant Hayami!" That was a difficult episode. We were looking at each other and laughing, thinking, "This is not how it's supposed to be!" From that time on, I learned to do small acts in the frame, and we would restlessly do things together in the background. And the dubbing was separate, so it was mostly wasted (laughs)."

-What he did not like was dubbing.

"I hated it. When I saw the first episode, I thought it was so robotic. I thought that was so bad. I had a very hard time getting into the right mood for each episode."

-It was also around this time that he received his first fan letter.

"There was a one-time event called 'Cinefan' at Toei's Ooizumi Studios, and I wasn't scheduled to perform, but I went for one day and was surprised by the huge crowd. It was the first time for me to see fans in person, and I was surprised and happy to be called Hayami by a little kid, which was a strange feeling. I didn't really feel like I was playing the hero. I was more like "Detective Story" or "Tired Detective," which Akira likes, and we had said we would do something like that. So I was unexpectedly happy."

What Aizawa, an actor, thinks

"This job is more often hard and painful than fun, and there are more times when I don't do well, but sometimes I feel very fulfilled, and I want to savor it even more. At the time of Changéríon, I didn't think about these things, I was just playing like crazy, and I probably didn't wake up until later. But I learned a lot of things to wake up. Akira really has something that only he can do. I was very jealous of him because he had something that I could never have… but I was sure that there was a role that only I could play, so I decided to find it, because no matter what I played, I would always be me. I left because I didn't want to live a normal life, but at my age, when I interact with people from different professions, I often find myself empathizing with them, and I think that being an actor is not special. I hope that this will be a source of fertilizer. For me, Changéríon is like a "park where I went to during elementary school." I remember playing in the mud in the daytime, and I remember the dusk and the night scenery—If I had to give a word to my fans… I would say thank you. That's all I have to say."

-Thank you for a good time, too. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Akira & Hayami

Akira: The snakeskin jacket I'm wearing in Kamen Rider (Asakura) right now is my own. Hayami: Oh, I've seen it before! Akira: It's in my room, you know? I'm not wearing it outside. Hayami: No, I saw it outside! You were walking around with it on. Akira: You're lying! Totally lying! Hayami: Just kidding. ♡ Akira: (laughs) You know, I was thinking that if you found out that I was playing a Rider wearing such a thing, you would say, "Akira, what the heck… I'm so upset!" (*) Hayami: You're right (laughs). Rider, huh? I'm so sad, Akira. Akira: Actually, I know you're worried. ♡

Hayami: At the time, I was just so absorbed in things, so I'm glad that people still remember me after 6 years like this. Akira: Yes. But now, when I hear people say that my acting has improved as a rider, I'm like, "What?!" But it's true, we weren't very good at acting (laughs). The director would joke that if we were better, we would be able to do the long takes on camera, and the cutaways were very detailed. Hayami: Yes, there was a time when I was quite particular about getting a long take someday. Akira: Then, in the middle of the series, Director Konaka started making long takes of your scenes. Hayami: That made the acting more exciting. Then, I would make mistakes and get yelled at. Akira: And I get depressed (laughs). And it shows on my face. I can't smile when I should be smiling, and that's not good. Hayami: But I know that he is angry with me with love. I'm going to do my best.

Hayami: We've been talking about making a movie together for a long time, but it's not easy. Akira: But I would love to make a film! Let's really make it happen. *Editor's note: Actually, there was an initial plan for Hayami to visit Akira's Rider shooting site to correct his ways (?) as a hero. But unfortunately, it did not come true.

Aizawa Kazunari: Born August 1, 1969 in Miyagi Prefecture. After working as a model, he was scouted (?) in the hallway of Toei's headquarters and auditioned, making his debut as Super Shining Soldier Changéríon's Hayami Katsuhiko. Since then, he has been active in film and stage. He appeared in the movie "Dolls" directed by Kitano Takeshi, which will be released in the fall, and in the movie "SEMI" directed by Yokoi Kenji, which will be released at the end of the year.

[i-turned-the-emperor-to-dust]

EMILIE VS AMELIE DEBATE

I know this is a hot topic at the moment, leaning heavily in Amelie’s favor, but I'm still convinced it's Emilie, and that a lot of people are going to have a rude awakening once Season 6 hits.

So, just to clarify.

I know the leaks aren't "canon" and that they should be disregarded, but in all fairness, how? It's impossible to pretend we didn't see something when we obviously did, and these leaks were EVERYWHERE. Most of us didn't seek them out; we stumbled across them when we didn't want to.

But even if you disregard the leaks, there are enough context clues to support the Emilie argument anyway. So we'll get back to that.

First of all, WHY would Gabriel be okay leaving Adrien an orphan? In Emilie's video, she spoke as if Gabriel would be there to raise him in her place . . . but after getting cataclysmed, he knew that was no longer an option.

So if he really had a "change of heart" wouldn't it make more sense not to make a wish at all? Why is it okay to sacrifice himself to save Natalie but not Emilie? Yes, Natalie cares for Adrien, but she's not his mother. I refuse to believe that after everything he sacrificed, Gabriel would just shrug and decide, "Oh well. Adrien will be fine without us. I'll respect Emilie's decision and save Natalie instead."

…Natalie. Who ignored the video too and helped him terrorize Paris for nearly nine months? Who used the peacock miraculous willingly even after knowing what it would do? Who eventually defied him at every turn and even put him in a headlock?

He’s okay saving her because she didn’t request it in a video? 🤨🧐

And if he can only "theoretically" save one, why would he EVER choose his secretary over the love of his life? Over Adrien's own mother?!

I mean, I know Natalie was a good secretary, but damn! 😅

So just to recap: This is a video he had already seen, a video that failed to prevent him from becoming Hawkmoth in the first place. Yet now, right on the cusp of having his wish granted, he suddenly chooses to respect her last wishes??

A wish that would leave their “miracle” without a parent??

Doesn’t it make more sense if his epiphany was actually this: Emilie doesn’t want him to sacrifice someone in order to bring her back to life—

“No one should have their life stolen from them because of a mistake that we made.”

—so he finally hears her, and resolves that no one else will take her place?

After all, Gabriel’s life is already forfeit, so he doesn’t need to trade someone’s life for hers. So by choosing to sacrifice himself instead of an innocent, he’s respecting Emilie’s wishes, ensuring Adrien won’t be alone, and fulfilling his goal to bring his beloved wife back to life.

It’s not like he wanted to live without her anyway. 🤷‍♀️

And that decision IS huge because it means Gabriel is finally giving up on his ultimate goal: To reunite all three of them as a family. That’s the big "wake-up" call he gets, not that he shouldn't make a wish at all or that Natalie deserves it more.

Like he told Ladybug . . . originally, he was willing to sacrifice anyone:

“In order to bring Emilie back, someone else will have to disappear! In order to heal the wound that Cat Noir inflicted on me, someone else will have to be wounded!”

“Someone else. But who?”

“Anyone. No one matters except us.”

That's why he asked Marinette to keep his secret. He really was making a sacrifice by giving his son the parent he deserves, rather than damning an innocent so they could both be in his life.

He could have been selfish. He could have made the decision to save himself anyway.

But he saw his wife’s video.

But what about balance?! How could he bring two people back?!

This show retcons like no other. Trust me, they'll find some BS reason to explain how it was possible. They'll either use Gabriel's lines about the "heart and soul" to explain it away; or they'll claim he wished the peacock miraculous was never broken, so neither woman was technically ever ill.

The possibilities are endless. They'll think of something, or pretend they never said it. 🤭

Either way, again - why would he choose Natalie over Emilie??

Then there's the other context clues.

If Gabriel used his wish to cure Natalie, then why is "Amelie" the main focus in this shot? Shouldn't she be in the background so there's no confusion?

I've read: "But Amelie should be at that party!"

Why? Not every significant adult was there. Tom and Sabine weren’t? And there’s one very obvious reason why Amelie isn’t: If she's there and that's Emilie, then the jig is up. If both twins attended, then the mystery would be solved, there'd be no debate, and we'd all know that Adrien's mother is back. It's the same reason crucial shots were cut from the storyboards.

They're trying to create buzz, mystery, and anticipation for season 6. It's simple marketing. They really don't need another reason, guys. 

But let's listen to Astruc and look at the final scene closer.

Why is Emilie's memorial statue removed? Symbolism? No, it's because she's alive. Why did the mansion suddenly get a flowery, idyllic update? Is Amelie helping Adrien process his grief by installing a swimming pool? No, it's probably because Emilie is back. Why is Adrien smiling and happy, and free to make out with his girlfriend so soon after losing his father? Because he hated Gabriel? No, it’s because his sadness is mitigated by his mother's miraculous return.

Adrien loved his father. Even after everything he put him through, he never stopped caring. So even if he did die for a good cause, it’s normal that he’d be sad and depressed. The fact that he isn’t absolutely traumatized is yet another reason why that has to be Emilie.

For me, nothing makes sense otherwise.

These kids are celebrating something, and it can't just be Monarch's defeat, not when the cost was Adrien's father and they're having this party at his house. There are a million other places they could've gathered to commemorate the end of Monarch terrorizing Paris.

But it makes perfect sense if it was Emilie's idea. If Emilie is trying to cheer her son up following the “martyrdom” of his father. It's not like Natalie or Amelie would've suggested it, and I doubt it was Adrien or Marinette's idea or any of their friends. They know Adrien's grieving, so I doubt "let's throw a party" would've entered any of their minds.

But Emilie . . . planting flowers, bringing life back into the house. It fits.

And if a Tibetan temple can suddenly reappear after being destroyed 172 years ago and nobody bats an eye, then why can't a fashion mogul's wife? For her, it's only been a year 🙄. And as an explorer/adventurer, there are soooo many ways they could explain her return. The only thing limiting them is imagination.

And let's be real, most of us had a gut reaction at her appearance and it was "OMG, is that Emilie?!" It wasn't until Thomas Astruc baited us and this theory started making its rounds that we suddenly started second-guessing ourselves.

Apparently what we "need" is to be gaslit constantly?

Because story and character-wise, if that's not Emilie, then what did Hawkmoth/Shadow Moth/Monarch even die for? He literally wasted nine months terrorizing Paris for what? A commemorative statue? 😅 I mean, I knew he was incompetent, but that takes serious skill.

And finally, back to the leaks.

Now that the finale has aired, and spoilers are less of an issue, here's a friendly reminder that yes, leaked scenes do exist that seem to hint heavily at an answer. If you're trying to pretend they don't or are claiming the moral high ground, then by all means, don’t look. However, I still think it’s only fair to include ALL the evidence, not only what’s convenient or Astruc-approved. And since these leaks are already out there (by no fault of our own), it’s too late to shove them back into their box and pretend they don’t exist.

So if you’re curious and want to know all the facts as they currently stand, then click below.

(⚠️ There ARE leaks below ⚠️)

Here's that lingering shot everyone was demanding from the finale: It exists in limbo as a deleted scene on the cutting room floor.

And I know some people are claiming the writers simply "changed their minds" but they can't just suddenly decide that's not Emilie. A change THAT significant can't be made on a whim. It would've shaped the ENTIRE story moving forward. This had to be something they had planned from very early on in the season, if not sooner. Not a choice that was made during last minute editing.

Plus, there's the following scene to consider: In the script, Adrien says his mother gave him the rings, but in the storyboard, you can clearly tell that the line was dubbed over and suddenly changed to Ladybug. 

So why remove these scenes at all?

Again, to keep the outcome of the wish a mystery. It's to drum up interest for Season 6, that's all. Anything they lost by omitting them can be rectified in the next season: This show LOVES to backtrack.

Lastly, there's this. The 3D model is even marked Emilie:

I’m sure there are things I’m forgetting, but I think that covers most of it.

So in conclusion: Even though the internet has done a fine job trying to convince us it’s Amelie in that final scene, I still think there's much better reason to believe it really is Emilie.

You're not required to agree, but I had to throw this out there because I'm seeing a lot of people getting vocal and loud about one side of the argument, and seeing relatively little on the other side. So if you've read this far, consider this a friendly way of preparing you in case season 6 does end up going in this direction.

It's better than convincing yourselves otherwise and being blindsided later on.

[vivisviolets]

hey, i hope you're well. i'm here for your new game!

my initials are 'efa', she/her and i prefer male.

my favorite things are gelato, brownie milkshake, monster high g3, the weeknd and beach. ❤️‍🩹

EFA ⛳️☘️🍂 ♧ ◦ Ace of Wands, Four of Swords, Seven of Cups (reversed), Two of Cups (bottom of the deck) ♧ ◦ 111, 222, 1212, (december birthday?), Sagittarius/Aries/Pisces/Taurus/Leo/Aquarius/Libra placements, fixed sign energy, football/sports, big smile, glittery/sparkly eyes, home, channeled song, Rolling in the Deep - Adele

♧ ◦ Hello efa! I can already tell, that this will be an interesting reading~ so as always take what resonates! I see your person being very into sports- athletics, this could be them being an actual player of some sport or just a watcher of them (I'm hearing football really heavily,- they may even be euro/from a different country then wherever you are)- either way!! heavy athlete energy is coming through, which is a big part of who they are- they have a very *focused* personality and a heavy motivation drive towards their goals... this is the energy I'm picking up! But let me dive deeper because outside looking in this appears to be a very traditionally masculine figure (and maybe you like that!! but I want to offer as many different aspects for your person as I can!) Oh my goodness, Two of Cups!! I just drew out the cards, this is so sweet- this will really be a partnership, I'm seeing clearly them being the Ace of Wands, and them becoming attracted to you energetically when you are in your Four of Swords energy!- However I want to make note that there may be some strife within your relationship, with this Seven of Cups(reversed)- I'm picking up an environment around your person, where there is some sort of "normality" when it comes to cheating/infidelity (again they may be in a competitive group of people, where teamwork is not so much a factor, as much as infighting is- a messy group for sure)- but your person, they will not be a part of that energy, I promise you. I would not be doing this reading if this situation were to be hurtful to you ♡. I see a test is going to come up where they'll actually have to take a stand against this energy/group of people, I see them having to tell off a 3rd party/someone trying to be a 3rd party and get with them when they are already into you- and it will be their attraction to you that will fuel their strength to leave this group after putting their foot down. because they want to be loyal to you, and only you, that is important to them, more important than who they were hanging around with who could have gotten them somewhere- they will betray their drive to be the greatest, if it means not betraying you. Ok final details! I understand if anything I described is not attractive to you, but please know that you two will have shared interests!! I'm hearing in particular music taste, a bit like that 500 Days of Summer scene ("I love The Smiths" and also "-I love Ringo Star-", "Nobody loves Ringo Star!", "That's what I love about him!"), I see the relationship becoming like a song when you two share your music with each other (you could even say you make beautiful music together- what huh👀), the good times go fast like a supercut of pure domestic bliss, and you two become each other's best friend! I see them loving to gift you things that you love and that you chat about with them- even if you feel shy about sharing certain interests you have, they want to hear about them so they can do something to contribute to them!! (the type to not *fully* understand but be like- "oh ok dear😊❤️!!" and then buy something for you based on what you told them.) They've never felt this serious about someone- and you are the one. and they want to grow that connection/understanding. They want to bring you so many moments of joy (someone here likes Vance Joy), straight out of a coming-of-age movie. and they already see you as their life partner/wife omg😭❤️. they want you at their shoulder's-side when they're around their buddies (because they love you that dearly and also because they want to show off just how amazing your personality is- like, you're amazing! They got such a catch lol), they want you to have dinner with their family- because they're looking forward/planning on building a whole life with you. I'm hearing this will feel like a second phase of "growing up" for both of you. and while it's different, and new, and uncharted, it isn't scary! because you have each other to explore this new phase in life with ❤️.

*i hope this was helpful my darling ♡~ consider leaving a tip on my Patreon if you enjoyed, or follow and become a violet~ doesnt matter to me tho :>~ sending you on your wayyyy, bye bye!!*

[endlessly-cursed]

WWTG, Winter Solstice: The Winter Masquerade

Primrose once again checked her outfit for tonight: it was the signature Somerset blue, adjusted to nowadays' fashion. Her aunt, the Dowager Viscountess Alina, had agreed to come up and socialize for a bit.

Finally, she put on the highest tiara she could find, with jewels that Queen Anne gave to her ancestor. It was kokoshnik style and had a massive sapphire that sparkled as brightly as the moon. Malcolm entered the room and smiled at his wife's beautiful ensemble. He dipped his head to kiss her cheek as he rounded his hands around her growing belly "You look wonderful, my love. There won't be a doubt on who's in charge here."

"I'm glad my choice of outfit pleases my beloved husband."

"I hope you feel less dizzy. You left the archery contest really early."

Primrose grabbed his hand and kissed it "It's just pregnancy sickness. Nothing out of the ordinary. Almost every woman has gone through it."

He nodded, but was still unsure. Primrose was tense still. It was the night of the solstice, and tonight had to go perfectly well. She was not the perstitious kind, but in the wizarding world, magic did play a role. She would rather not risk it."

Composing herself, she gave Malcolm a smile "I think I'm ready."

Three hours into the ball, Primrose had decided to take a break from socializing and pretending not to hear the rumour mill about her past, and the fact that some ex-flames of hers were in attendance.

As she observed how the moon seemed closer to its goal by each hour, a pair of familiar hands surrounded her, kissing her bare shoulders. Malcolm.

"Thought I'd find you here."

"You thought well." She tiptoed, but Malcolm stopped her and crouched down to kiss her. "Given by how Aunt Alina's friends were gossipping, I knew you'd need a breather. Stress is not good for the baby."

Primrose bit her lip "Don't you mind? That I have a... past?"

Malcolm kissed her forehead "I don't. Do you know why? Because your past is there, in the past. There might have been others, but you chose me, and I'm thankful every day for it."

Primrose smiled widely and kissed him softly "Although, I do have a question." He nodded, a signal of go ahead "Did you? Have past relationships as well?"

He looked at her intensely "There might have been other women interested, but nothing of that sort ever happened."

"Why? You're handsome, rich and charming."

"Because I have loved you all my life, Primrose. Before I knew the word 'love', I knew that you were the one for me. Every time you were in the room, all the women ceased to exist, and when you weren't, they only reminded me that they were not you. You are my past, present and future, mitt allt. All I've ever wanted, the only thing my heart and soul ever desired and cried out for. My heart was born to be yours, dearest."

It might have been the pregnancy, or the fact that it had been the first time since announcing her pregnancy that he had bared his heart so, but Primrose couldn't help but tear up, feeling loved and stupid.

"Did I torture you, my love, every time I was in somebody else's arms?" She asked, her voice trembling.

"A bit. But in the end, here you are, in my arms, telling me that you love me. My dream coming true has overcome any torture or agony I ever felt."

And thus, they kissed, and he kissed the tears away. After what it seemed like an eternity, Miss Gwyn told the couple that they were waiting for the opening dance, and that Mr. Rowle could only stall the guests for too long.

With their heads high, they entered the ballroom and started to dance. Mal was yet to become as graceful as his wife, but with only looking at her in the eye and allow himself to become one with her, it was more than enough to conduct the dance with the grace the Somersets executed everything.

As they bowed, Primrose felt it. She gasped, her hands going to the growing three-month belly and beamed, looking at her husband "Kicking. The baby's kicking!" She cried out of happiness.

Mr. Demiurgos took the lead "It seems that the solstice has blessed our hostess. Let us give her an applause and carry on!"

Ignoring the claps, the couple embraced.

Cecilia observed the young couple wistfully. Years ago, the thought of forming a family scared and disgusted her in equal measure. But now, with Vinnie at her side, maybe it wasn't so bad. She looked at her and whispered "I'd love to have that one day."

"What? Her clearly expensive and ancient coronet?"

"No, my love. A family. The three of us."

Vinnie whipped her face towards Cecilia "Are you... are you sure, Cecy?"

"When it comes to you, my love, I am."

Both women smiled, holding hands for as much as they could before pulling apart, but a clear happiness in their eyes.

Tagging @gaygryffindorgal because Malcolm, Harlan and Vinnie belong to them <3

[supergirl-fanfiction]

Betrayal

Cat Grant x Reader

Sometimes the fame gets to people's head. Cat had told herself that would never happen to her. She had (Y/N)'s love, understanding, and patience to keep her grounded. If only Cat had known.

(Y/N)- Your Name

Author Note- Forgive me for any mistakes. Life has been crazy and its been awhile since I watched Supergirl. I'm so sorry for disappearing for awhile also gif is not mine and does not belong to me in anyway.

Warnings- None I can think of. Please message me if you would like any added.

20 Years Ago

Cat POV

"I did it (Y/N)! I'm finally going to be able to build my own media empire!" I shouted out to the love of my life. (Y/N) has been through everything with me. They held me on the nights I came home crying and gave me the motivation to keep going. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. (Y/N) jumped up with the twinkle of excitement in their eyes. They ran up to me and picked me up around the waist. (Y/N) swung me around as they held onto and laughed with pure excitement in their voice.

"I always knew you could do it baby!" They exclaimed without an ounce of doubt in their voice. They always have been my greatest supporter.

15 Years Ago

Things had become difficult at home. Cat knew that (Y/N) could tell something was off. Cat had been staying at the office later and later. She excused it by saying she was at a critical stage in the growth of her business. The truth was that Cat had men and women throwing themselves at her. She began having flings with people all over different cities. She excused all her travel as just her trying to help her business grow. Cat had never thought she would become this woman yet here she was.

At home (Y/N) was crying themselves to sleep every night. They could feel Cat slipping away and didn't know what to do to make her fall in love again. They had been with Cat when she was unable to afford even a coffee. (Y/N) had never strayed from her relationship with Cat. She helped put Cat through college and she had been there for every rejection Cat had received. (Y/N) just didn't know what to do or how much they could take anymore.

10 Years Ago

Tears filled (Y/N)s eyes at the image on the magazine. She had always suspected these past years that Cat was straying. They didn't want to believe it though. Surely Cat wouldn't do that to them. They stuck with her through everything. All the long sleepless nights. The even longer days as Cat worked to achieve her goal of building her business. She comforted her and kept her going even when Cat felt hopeless. Yet now there was no more denying it. The proof was right in front of them.

"(Y/N)?" Cat called out as she came through the front door. (Y/N) didn't respond. Their eyes focused on the magazine and the image on the front. The image of their wife kissing another person.

"(Y/N) darling where are you?"

(Y/N) slowly walked out from the bedroom. The magazine in their hands with a death grip. Their eyes slowly rose to meet Cats.

"How could you?" It came out in a strained whisper. Cat looked at (Y/N) confused before her eyes were drawn to the magazine in their hand.

"It's... It's not what it looks like. You know how the paparazzi are. They will twist anything and everything. You know I would never do that to you." The desperation in Cats voice was clear as she tried to talk her way out of this. She couldn't lose (Y/N). (Y/N) let out a sob laugh and looked towards the floor as the tears began to fall. Cat didn't actually expect them to believe that did she?

"I can't do this anymore Cat. I'm done. I am DONE being your second option. I am done with the sleepless nights wondering if you are even coming home. I'm leaving. Don't worry though I'm not going to try to go after your precious media empire." (Y/N) sneered at Cat.

"(Y/N) please no. We can....we can work through this. I'm sorry. Please don't leave!" Cat was hysterical the tears began to fall down her face. (Y/N) just chocked out a laugh.

"You're only sorry because you got caught Cat." (Y/N) turned away to go back to the room she once shared with Cat. She quickly packed a bag as Cat stood frozen. She just watched as (Y/N) walked past with their suitcase in their hand. (Y/N) turned around as they got to the front door and just looked at Cat. This woman was the love of her life. She had struggled beside her and had sworn she would never walk away from her. Yet in the end Cat hadn't given her much of a choice. (Y/N) turned back around and walked out of the only place that has ever felt like home.

Present Time

(Y/N) just stared at the catco building. Even 10 years later the memories it brings up would still sting. They had tried to move on from Cat but they never could. No matter how many dates they went on; how amazing the people were they just weren't Cat. A soft sigh escaped their lips as they shoved their hands in their pockets. They turned away and began to walk away. They couldn't stay here and continue to torture themselves with the memories that flooded their mind. They walked down the street to the coffee shop and stopped in. So many memories here too. A small tear fell down their check as the emotions overwhelmed them for a second. They went and ordered their usual and went to sit down in their favorite spot. A spot they had once shared with Cat. Their hands shaking slightly as they took a sip of their drink. As they set down their cup they began to play with their necklace. They had never had the heart to throw away their wedding rings but it had hurt too much to wear them. The necklace was a way to keep them close. Even after all this time the only person they wanted; the only person they held love for in their heart was Cat. Unfortunately for (Y/N) not all stories have a happy ending. The only thing they could do was to continue to take it one day at a time and maybe one day the pain of Cats betrayal would become a dull ache.

[tobydandelion]

Okay, so, as of today, the divorce suit against my ex is already underway. My abuser, Laurynn Lasnek, is about to have the last of her control over my life finally wrenched away from her. I've begged her for about a year now to just file for divorce amicably with me so I could go to school and get help for my disabilities easier, but she thought ignoring me would result in me just withering and dying on the street without her. She had actually told me as I was leaving her that I'd be dead without her, in pretty much those exact words.

Well, a little over a year later, and not only am I still alive, but thriving more than I ever thought I could be. I've never been more confident in knowing myself- a concept that I once tried to explain to her, but she gaslit as delusion. (She wanted me to hate myself so much she medicalized self-love as mania. And last I knew, she's studying psychology to become a therapist- yikes.)  I've learned a lot about my strengths and limitations in the last year, and I'm still sure that school is the right path for me- something else she said was delusional. While proving her wrong won't be my primary goal in school, it sure will be one great additional motivator to dredge up when needbe, lol. 

So as soon as the divorce process finishes, my *new* service coordinator (I complained about my old one till I got one who understood what "sensory overload" is, thankfully) is going to assist me with filing for fafsa and getting me in contact with counselors at the wonderful local community college! Right now the plan is just Gen Ed and English for a while, before going straight into lawschool once my grades and test scores and whatnot are all ready for that. The more I look into lawschool and the actual job of being a civil attorney, the more confident I am that I would find it deeply fulfilling and could eventually find ways around what would otherwise be limitations from my sensory and social disabilities. 

It's so amazing that the process is finally really underway. After waiting and planning for so long, it's finally time to really start living again, for the first time as a fully autonomous person in control of my own life. And I'm going to go to school to spend the rest of it fighting for other disabled people to help better take control of their lives as well. Not sure exactly what that's going to look like yet, but that's where my intrest in law really sparks from. I feel like having a special interest in advocacy is also making me lean toward a career where I would get to advocate for other disabled folks, too. Like I said, this feels so right for me. It's going to take a very long time, yes, but when I'm careful to take care of myself properly, I'm capable of being very steadfast and patient. 

And part of that self-care is occasionally darkly venting, so skip this next bit if that bothers you, lol:

To my abuser, and now soon to be ex-wife: "Give up the concern trolling. You know I was never manic, you just hate high support needs autistic people and thought you could convince people I was having a manic episode to try to keep control over me while I was trying to escape you. If you had actually been worried about my mental health, you would have told the police that you called on me for a 'wellness check' that I was autistic. Any high support needs autistic or their loved ones would understand what you did should basically be considered attempted murder where we lived. And while that would be difficult to get an abled jury to understand, the battery I endured from you definetly won't be. (Fun fact: I'm within statute of limitations for the next two years for criminal charges. I'm weighing my options on that still, right now. I do wanna just move on and focus on school, but I also want your potential future victims to know what you're capable of before you hurt someone else.) Laurynn Lasnek, you are an abuser and someone who has disturbing and predatory control issues towards disabled people. God help your clients if you actually become a therapist."

She tried to take everything from me, but I didn't let her. I took it back and then some. And now, the ball really is rolling on my amazing new life- a life that's even better than what I was imagining and hoping for back when all I had was blind confidence and stubbornness to stay alive while in the process of escaping her. If anything, I'm further ahead than I thought I'd be at this point right now, emotionally anyway. I've gained a few close, true friends these last couple months, which is something I still hadn't gotten my hopes up to actually expect. And yet I find myself feeling truly supported by people other than myself right now, both in my education goals and emotionally. And as much as it's reassuring to know I'm resilient enough to get through without that support, it feels so amazing to have after so long without it. 

I've noticed that when I rest, lately, I actually feel rested afterwards. And I can stay calmer and focus easier a little longer with the same amount of thc. Really taking care of my sensory disabilties and sticking firm to that has resulted in extremely reduced executive functioning issues- I was even able to find and contact and arrange a meeting with a lawyer for the divorce all on my own, my service coordinator didn't help with that- I'm so proud of myself. I can't wait to see what I'm capable of in school! And I'm almost one huge step closer to that, now. 

Right now my job is waiting, and to not burn myself out, so that I'm ready for anything with the divorce stuff. I think I can handle that for a while. Still gonna be saving up for attorney's fees for additional lawsuits I might bring against her, like I said, after more communication and research. But for now, the pace is truly my choice, because either way my education goals are actively being worked toward. 

I'm excited. :3

[ga-yuu]

Hi!

So I'm actually highly confused about ikegen sequel!

1. Who is masako? Does she has a frame?

2. How did the 2 brothers stopped the fight and start to get along with eachother?!

3. There's the only sequel of yoritomo and yoshitsune right? But what about Sueharu and Ibuki routes?!

4. Does the imperial trio compare in the sequel?

5. is yoshino getting a new power up?

6. Do feel like to translate the sequel?

7. Why is Ibuki so handsome?

Okay! Let me try to explain it in simple words....Imagine these are two universes.

Universe 1: The main prologue took place, where Yoshino saves Tamamo, she makes a contract with him which results in her getting the powers to absorb the demon's magic and the Shogunate adopts her so she can be used to fight against Yoshitsune in the upcoming war. During this, Yoshino falls in love with one of the male leads, and their main stories take place.

Universe 2: The same prologue takes place, but this time Yoshino doesn't fall in love with anyone but becomes friends with all the male leads and all the male leads care about her. The war takes place but the three parties decide to make peace temporarily. So this happens after the war. Then the bathwater demon shows up and gives the hero's might to two male leads that Yoshino selects.

I hope you understand now. Unlike Ikemen Sengoku sequel, the main story has NOTHING to do with the sequel and I guess if you're a newbie you can start playing the sequel right away.

The character of Masako in-game is based on the real-life historical figure Hojo Masako, a Buddhist nun, and politician. She was also the wife real-life of Minamoto no Yoritomo. In the sequel, she is kinda like the end game boss and the main villain in Yoritomo's Ending. She is portrayed as an obsessive crush. Just because Yoritomo rejected her confession, she wants to take everything from him out of anger and also kill him.

In her childhood days, she was spoiled by her family and she always got whatever she wanted. When Yoritomo was an exile and send to Izu Province which was under the Hojo clan. There he meets Masako. I think Masako fell in love with him at first sight or something IDK, then didn't make that part clear. Yoritomo clearly stated that he didn't love her and that made her angry.

2. Their problem would have been solved in about 30 minutes if these two brothers had sat down and talked to each other. The thing is, Yoshitsune wants to forgive Yoritomo, because, despite him cursing on the outside, he still loves Yoritomo. But he can't forgive Yoritomo because he thinks that Yoritomo actually doesn't care about him. He is also scared to be killed by his brother once again. When Yoshino communicates this problem with Morinaga, he tells her that according to him Yoritomo looked like he actually wanted to cry when he first told Morinaga that he was planning to kill Yoshitsune, because Yoshitsune was coming in the way of him and his goals. Right now, Yoritomo is purposely acting like he's unaffected by all of this because he's trying in his own way to make sure that Yoshitsune doesn't forgive him. He knows what he did is unforgivable.

Both these brothers want to start over again, but Yoritomo keeps acting smug because he doesn't want to be forgiven and Yoshitsune thinks that Yoritomo actually doesn't care about him. Miscommunication is also another problem in their relationship. Yoshino understood this, so she tries to make the brothers come clean with each other because she knew that their relationship still had some hope. Finally! Yoritomo tells Yoshitsune that he still loves him.

3. The other characters will have sequels too. Sueharu and Ibuki's main stories haven't been released yet. If the Ikegen doesn't die before that, they will release one of them. They did mention on their official website that they will release one of the main stories soon in the near future. So maybe in mid-Nov or Dec we'll get some news.

4. Yes!

5. No. There are no major changes with her powers. Instead, she gets a new title----' The Shrine Maiden of the Underworld. Her job is to absorb the Hero's might power with her fox powers when they go amok.

6. I'd love to but no.

7. *intense nosebleeds*

[yuyumnami]

Aoi's Last Words (1)

Master once told me, that the journey we passed through, no matter sweet or sour, will become our unforgettable memory and a reminder when we reach our end.

No matter what kind of road of life we got ourselves into, keep on walking and running ahead, it's not futile to end it.

We learn something new, we learn what's wrong and what's true.

We learn and understand the word 'friendship', and its bond can be so precious as vast as the ocean blue.

And who knows, we might learn what is love too?

Back when I was a child, my Mother is the light. She's the source of my life. I have no one else to hold to except her.

UntiI one night, When it all ended.

7 years old me witness her being eaten, shred to pieces by a monster with a horn and sharp teeth.

Just like that, I lost my light. Left alone in the dark and cold night.

I want to live, live for my mom just like her last wish.

"Keep on living my baby. Live this world. It's beautiful." She said.

But I knew a child 8 years old like me striving to stay alive with no source of life is futile.

So I just let it be, let my soul decide when they want to leave my body.

I don't even try to run when the monster with horns charged at me, bringing its arms before him for a slash.

'Can I finally be with my mother?' That was the question that rang in my head, as I got a glimpse of a spark of fire in front of me.

"Are you okay? Why don't you run little one?"

"I want to be with my mother."

"Where's your mother?"

"No longer here."

"Come with me then."

The man with blazing yellow hair and red tips softly take my hand, and welcomed me to his family.

From there I met his lovely wife and his two sons. They treat me nicely and never treat me like an outsider. They treat me like I'm a part of their family. Something that I yearned for years.

I decided to follow his path. Be a slayer. With a goal to end that bastard the demon king Kibutsuji Muzan.

I put my life ahead of others.

I don't ever regret doing it.

But can I at least say my goodbye?

My last message is still in my heart, left unuttered.

It was happy and wonderful to meet them.

I can't stop thanking god for meeting us all, even on this kind of journey.

If only I got more time to be with them, saying all feelings that are bottled in my heart, I'm sure I'm the happiest person alive.

Not to forget, my only sun.

I want to thank him for accepting me for who I am. Thank him for guiding me to know this world, lighting my darkness of life.

If only I can meet him again, I want to say just how much I love him, how much I miss him, and how much I want to be with him, in his life.

.

.

.

Even with the sun shining brightly in the sky, it is windy today. Curtains rhythmically swayed by the winds. The sun's rays seep into the room and land its brightness and warmth on a certain bedridden's girl's face.

With a lot of bandages across her arms and torso, showing how much injured she got before got sent here.

Her little finger twitches slightly, like a fish of the deep rising to the surface of bright air and sun, she swam up to consciousness out of a dead blank into a whiter world than she had ever seen. The daylight was blinding.

Her eyelids are open and closed, revealing a turquoise color as she tries to adjust to the bright room she currently resides.

'Where... am I?' With a hazy head, she thought to herself. she slowly brings her left hand close to her face. Even with blurry sight, she can see it was bandaged. She tries to grasp her hand, quite hard since it's a bit stiff at first.

She looks at the ceiling in a daze, deep in thought. 'Didn't I die? How am I here? What happened?'

'Besides, where is this? Smells...'

Mustering all her strength, she groans as she tries to sit up using her right arm. But it's useless. Given how weak her arm is, and a wire connected to her right hand. 'This... I know this... am I in a hospital?'

"You're awake!" The girl was surprised by a new voice. "You shouldn't move too much! I'll call the doctor. Do you remember what's your name miss?"

The girl looks at the nurse that comes to her aide and helps her sit properly. Bit weirded out by her clothing. Never once in her life to find that kind of attire.

The wind passes her white and single black streak hair. Her half-lidded eyes reveal a turquoise color as she looks at the nurse.

Her dried lips parted as she answers the question.

"Aoi... My names... Todoroki Aoi..."

I'm not good in english pls if you find any mistakes pls correct me. I really need a guidance

[nintendousimp]

Train of Thought...

Part:1 Getting Caught

Master 👉Next

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Miya Atsumux Reader.

Character: Gender Neutral! or I want to everyone to feel comfortable so any pronouns welcomed for this story.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW, Some angst and colorful language, mentions of cheating and getting caught in the action, mentions of also thinking to forgive unfaithful partner, some grammar errors 😅 ( I need to emphasize this by saying that English is not my first language and although my English is great I still have a lot of trouble so constructive criticism is welcomed 🥰)

Word Count: 2k

Released date: January 19th 2021

I feel like I need to emphasize that all of the characters in this story are aged up! I’m not comfortable with talking about sexual topics if the characters are still in high school and are underage so,this is a timeskip!😅

Before we go any further into the story, I plan to post part 2 of this! Part 2 will take me a bit longer to post due to personal matters but it will be posted!

Enjoy my first ever Haikyuu x Reader Fic!!!

——————————————————————-

You’ve been working late into the night for the past few months so he must’ve thought that this would be your same routine from your previous nights. He's always been a careful person. He knows you have your location on. He always knows where you are but not just for your safety but to also bring her over.

He knows this is wrong. He loves you and knows he could've talked to you about maybe spending less time at work and maybe make a bit more time for him. Atsumu knows that your work is important and he's not gonna take advantage of you like that, especially when you come home from work tired, and with his volleyball schedule and his career you guys barely got to spend time with each other.

He wants to stop this but his need never stops. He knows what he has with her is just something done out of lust and that’s it. Atsumu only wants her around just to make his cock feel good and that’s it. He's already made it very clear he does not plan to leave you and to not get any crazy ideas.

He thought that tonight would be just like any other. He couldn’t have known that you were on your way home. He couldn’t have possibly remembered that today of all days was the release day of your book that you've put months of work into. Who knew that by mistake you left your phone at the office. All he knew at that moment was that your best friend's pussy takes him so well.

As you were driving your way home all you could think about is to hug your husband and yell to the world that you've finally finished your first written work! You felt such accomplishment that this book that you've put all your heart, sweat, and tears into was finally released! So many people believed in your dream but you felt you really couldn’t have done it without the love and support from your husband.

There have been many times where you felt like you haven't been given Atsumu much attention. You've been working long hours and at times late into the night to get this book out before the deadline you've been given. All those hours of hard work you felt paid off, now all that’s left to do is celebrate and who to celebrate better than your husband. After all, he's the inspiration behind your book.

You get out of your car making your way towards the entrance of your house. You notice a car that you've seen before but you can't remember where, so you just brush it off and make your way to the door. As you're unlocking the main entrance door, you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. The house is dark and there's no one in the living area, I mean what did you expect its one in the morning. You were going about your routine trying to not wake Atsumu up when you hear some strange noises coming from your shared master.

As you're approaching the hallway that leads to your room, you've noticed the noises are starting to sound a lot more like sexual moans. Your first thought would've been that Atsumu might've fallen asleep while watching porn, and you'd believe that. But these moans sounded too real to be coming from the tv in your shared bedroom. You can see from the small gap underneath the door that the lights are still on.

You're getting ready to enter your room when you notice that the door is slightly open. If only someone were to prepare you for what you were about to see. As you enter the room you see what no woman ever wants to go through. Your husband Atsumu on top of another woman.

"I can never see myself with anyone that wasn’t my husband," you said.

Who would’ve thought that my marriage was falling apart… not me right?

Have I been so oblivious this whole time?

How long has this been going on? The question I proceeded to ask myself...

How did I not see this coming?

But now that you saw everything with your own eyes, you realized you’ve put all the pieces to a puzzle you didn’t even know you were solving.

Today was publishing day and you were gonna surprise Tsumu by coming home after the book release, you would have called but your phone may have been misplaced somewhere in your office. You didn’t have time to go back to the office, you’ve been missing Tsumu a lot. But the surprise you got when you entered your shared bedroom and watched as your husband was on top of another woman was not something you ever expected to happen.

As you stood there watching your husband fuck another woman and not just any woman but your best friend all you could think about was, Atsumu the man that promised to be with you for the rest of your life was in your bed fucking your best friend. You want to be angry, you want to run and scream at them, you want to ask why they did it. Not that any explanation would fix anything, you just couldn’t say anything. As you stood there for what felt like a lifetime. Did you lose your train of thought? Did you forget how to talk?

He finally notices that you’ve been standing there. He panics and gets off your best friend as he tries making his way towards you.  All you could think to do at that moment was to just close the door and run out of the house towards your car and make your way out of there. You started driving with no destination in mind, you just wanted to be anywhere away from this bomb. As you're driving, you end up taking the route that leads you to Akaashi’s place. You get out of the car and make your way towards his door.

It’s like you came here out of instinct.

How can you not when you guys have been working on this project for the past several months. He’s a great editor and a great friend too! He appreciates your hard work! You remember when you told him that you wanted to give writing another try and had an idea for a book he immediately offered his services as an editor. He’s always offered his help to you. Even goes out of his way to help you research some titles or genres that you could find interest in writing. He’s a great guy and you’ve grown very close to him.

Now you’re at Keijis place late in the hours of the night. You decided that you couldn’t do this by yourself so you knock on his door.

“Y/N are you alright, What are you doing out so late?” He asks.

You shake your head no. How were you gonna tell Akaashi your world was falling apart. He’s your editor, he shouldn’t need to know that your husband just cheated on you with your best friend.

“Would you like to come in? We can talk about whatever is troubling you?”

He doesn’t give you a second to answer before he grabs your hand and guides you to the living room. He has you sit on his sofa while he makes you both some tea. Some time has passed since you arrived at Akaashi’s, you’re telling him everything that happened an hour prior to being there. Akaashi is tracing small circles on your back. He tells you that this wasn’t your fault and you're not one to blame here and that

“Hey Y/N?”

“Did you say something Keiji?” Y/N says looking up from his shoulder. He can tell they’ve been crying. Akaashi hated seeing them like this. These past several months, he got to know Y/N as a very kind and goal-minded person. He saw someone who only strived to make her and other’s visions come to reality. The months Akaashi spent with Y/N were by far the best few months of his life. He would never tell Y/N that.t He hates that the book is done because now they won’t get to spend as much time together as they used to.

The months he’s been with her he got to spend a lot of time getting to know her world. He observed the way she would get when she had writer’s block. The number of times he’s watched her get frustrated at how she didn’t like the ending of a chapter for the book. He saw how countless nights she felt helpless and wanted to quit. She would fall into a negative state where she convinced herself she wasn’t a good writer. He also saw the nights where she would vent to him about Atsumu becoming distant once again. NIghts where they would drown themselves with work just so they didn’t think about crying.

He saw all of that. Nights where y/n needed Atsumu. Late nights where he was fucking his wife’s best friend.

“What’s your next move?” Akaashi asked.

“I think the best thing right now is for me to go home and get an explanation”

Your expression is giving regret all over it. How were you gonna go back home and look Atsumu in the face? What more could he explain that you don’t already know? You keep going back and forth between blaming yourself more than blaming him. You want to put this in your head as if it was your fault. But you know deep down that if Atsumu really loves you like he says he does he wouldn’t have cheated. At the end of the day, he cheated on you, not the other way around.

“I think I'm gonna call Yachi and see if she’s okay with me spending a few nights at her place just until I figure out what I’m gonna do. In the meantime, I gotta get back home.”

You sigh, you're getting ready to get up when Akaashi takes a hold of your hand

“Wait Before you go, I have a suggestion for tonight if you’d like to hear”

Akaashi doesn’t want you going alone but he also feels as if he’s overstepping his boundaries. He knows this is none of his business but why does he feel like it is?

“How about we go get some of your things and you spend the night here?”

It was a nice offer from Keiji, but you already feel like a burden. He’s been so kind as to listen to you, you just don’t wanna cause him any more trouble.  

“ I appreciate the offer Keiji but I don’t wanna wrap you up in my troubles.”

“ Y/N you’re no trouble, I just want you to know that you’re more than welcomed to stay here.” Akaashi knew you’d reject his invitation. He knows you’re not the type of person to rely on others' help, you’re a giver not a taker after all.

“Can you promise me if you don’t wanna be there with Atsumu you’ll call me and come here?” Akaashi the overthinker, always worrying about others.

“ I promise I’ll call you Keiji, if anything happens I promise to come back here.” The answer appeases him, he lets your hand go.

“Thank you Y/N Can I walk you out?” You nod and make your way towards the entrance door.

“Thank you for having me over at this time of night..” before you could finish your sentence, you were pulled into Akaashi’s arms.

“You don’t have to thank me Y/N, I’m glad you trust me enough to open up about what happened.”

You don’t know why but his words are making you feel safe. You trust Keiji, he’s not the type of guy to hurt anybody.

You thank Akaashi again as he walks you to your car “ Can I check on you tomorrow?”

You reply with a nod “ See you tomorrow Keiji.”

Both of you say your goodbyes. As you’re leaving Akaashi’s house, you can’t help but feel nervous about the conversation you were about to have with your husband. What was gonna happen with your marriage? Can this be forgiven? Questions that kept plaguing your head. Only one question stuck out more than the others…

Do I wanna divorce Atsumu?

Summary:

L/N F/N a young adult working on their first ever book with the help of editor and friend (Akaashi). Discovers that their husband has been cheating on them for the past few months that they’ve  been working nonstop. Heartbroken y/n decides to drown herself in their work. Will they be able to Forgive their cheating husband from his infidelity or will they approach the man who fell in love with them while working on their book?

© All fiction rights of the story belong to @nintendousimp​

Characters belong to the Haruichi Furudate.

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire 3

I'm not sure this game is as great as I remember. But while recently researching top PS1 RPGs, BoF3 was near the top. Ah-well, I think I'm nearing the end...

Last we left off, Nina just arrested the criminal Mayor while Rei was hunting for revenge.

Realizing the Mayor's connection to Syn City, we headed over there to arrest the boss only to find everyone dead or dying. We're told a giant Tiger (Rei) attacked and the boss has fled. Tracking the boss, we find Rei confronting the man, demanding revenge for Teepo's death. Ryu and Nina just want to arrest him. Rei, dissatisfied, attempts a killing blow. But the boss, wounded, turns into a monster (because this is a JRPG).

After we succeed, Rei seems a little down on how weak his tiger power is compared to Ryu and others. But he finds kinship in Ryu's dragon abilities and wants to join the crew to meet God and ask "what's up?"

Nina says there's a problem, her father the King doesn't like Ryu--thinking Ryu was responsible for the big messes that happened when they were children. Nina suggests we do a good deed to clear his name. There's trouble at the old plant.

We find Momo as she tries to keep the plant producing super-crops, but there's issues. Palet, the mad scientist that betrayed us before, is missing. In the game's "Resident Evil Mission" we wander the plant to find Palet is trying to use Chrysm and mad-science to bring his wife back to life. Momo's father invented the tech, trying to do much the same. But we tell Palet this is bad. We defeat him and unhook his wife from life support.

Damn.

We return to the king, but Nina asks Ryu to sit it out. Asking Rei in instead. She presents Rei to the king and queen as her savior and a bad-ass dude. But then they recognize him. The Jig is up and Rei and Nina flee.

Back to Angel Tower--but God does not appear. Garr is sad. We talk to the Urkan chief and are guided to another surviving Guardian who has recanted their oath.

Finding this guy, he insists on testing Ryu. Turns out he lost faith in the cause against the Brood before the war was over. We also learn that Deis--a powerful snake-lady--is being held captive at Angel tower. This guardian's death frees her, and he willingly allows his defeat.

We return to Deis and she punches Garr in the stomach for being a dragon slaying asshat, then asks us to meet her later. We do and get a flashback with her fussing at Guardians.

I can't remember the details, but the God that ordered Guardians to kill The Brood (dragons) is her sister. She says our answers lie across the sea.

Return to Rhapala to find our ship-friends, but the boat is missing again. We needed that! We travel to Junk town to find the ship needs repairs. Momo offers to do it, but needs parts. We go to Steel Beach to collect parts that continuously wash up on shore here.

No one knows where these parts come from, or how to make them. But they've been able to build some half-ass machines from them. There's an annoying mini-game here where you have to help someone haul in something big by following flag raising. Turns out to be a monster fish.

I struggled finding the parts. Firstly, they're pretty well hidden, and secondly, some were on the beach. Oh, and thirdly, you can't know whether you found the right ones without returning to Junk town...time consuming.

Parts collected, ship repaired, we sail back to Rhapala and are nearly rammed by "The Black Ship". The Black Ship was one of my favorite sequences as a kid, so I was excited to play it. But that's in the future...

Zig, who was once an antagonist, now wants to be a helpful ship captain and offers to sail use across the sea. But no one has ever left the bay. We try. We fail. There's rumor of a Legendary Mariner that sailed from across the sea. Supposedly, the mayor of some town knows about him. When we get there, it's a fishing town and he hates fish...

This is where I gave up a few years ago. It's one of those annoying JRPG fetch quests where you've gotta do a bunch of innocuous quests to scavenge a few items, and it's like--I just want to learn the secrets of the universe--THIS ISN'T FUN!

Goofing around with cheats, I gave myself every item in the game. So I didn't have to do this quest: HAH! But I still had to cook. Luckily they give you clear instructions. He likes the food and gives us a chart. I'm not sure the chart does anything but unlock an island. I still had to look up a guide to find it...

...

So the game, in the second half...or middle third...starts to lose some steam. You end up retreading a lot of ground. While it does tie up a few loose ends, it's a lot of busy work.

I think the problem is that the game gets to the "BIG" question too early. I mean, you start the game as a dragon. Dragons are supposed to be extinct. No one understands your power. So of course, the BIG question of "What's this dragon business about" is there. But it doesn't truly become a primary concern until Garr joins the party. At that point he says, "Lets head east to learn more about you". But heading east has a ton of road bumps. And instead of answers, you get a: "It's my life's goal to kill dragons: die!"

Nice twist, for sure, but when Garr and Ryu reunite, the primary question is set: "Why did God tell Guardians to kill the dragons?" And then it's just a bunch of bullshit!

Take Fellowship of the Ring. There's a lot of bullshit: dark riders, hobbit eating trees, mid-night attacks, horse chases through the woods, perilous mountain peaks, dangerous mines, a fire demon, dubious wood elves, corrupted allies, and orcs. But, even though the adventurers are constantly running into obstacles, they are always moving the ring closer to Mt. Doom one yard at a time.

Breath of Fire 3, on the other hand, is rarely gaining yardage, and very often losing yardage. It's a oppressively unrewarding experience. I mean, as a child you help train a weak guy to fight a strong guy over several "nights", wander a monster infested lighthouse, and then battle a trash talking dolphin all in hopes of getting a ship and they're just like: Nahhh.

It's much different than something like Elder Scrolls where you have a sort of "home base" and must travel around the world for tasks and clues.

Been trying to think of a better way to approach this...

Maybe Garr doesn't find adult Ryu cause he wants to confront God. Maybe he wants to apologize. As they leave, they learn about the Tiger (Rei). This leads them to McNeil--get Nina, and all that. Now it's time for Ryu to prove to the king he's worthy of a pardon. Missions include: Resolving the Plant Crisis, Fixing the boat, Stopping/Docking the black ship, and a few other tasks. All in the name of clearing Ryu and Rei's criminal record.

All the while, they're learning more clues about the Brood and the past. Garr admits that he's never spoken to God and doesn't know how. He's only goal is to make amends to Ryu as a servant/companion.

One of their quests leads them to the old guardian, which leads them to Deis, and that's when they first hear that God lives across the sea. Now, instead of a million distractions, we have a clear goal to hop on the black ship and sail across the ocean--which we do.

Now, all those mundane quests that prevented progress become a part of progress--because it's helping clear Ryu's name. AND, we don't set the final goal (meet God) until we're truly cleared to chase it.

[dailyaudiobible]

09/25/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 45:11-48:11, Ephesians 4:1-16, Psalms 68:19-35, Proverbs 24:3-4

Today is the 25th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it's great to be here. I cannot believe it is almost the end of September. I don’t want to get ahead of ourselves. We got…we got…we have some days to go, but man here we are getting ready to bring another month in for a landing in just a few short days. But everyday matters. Every day that we spend in the Scriptures matters. And, so, we have a few days left in this month and we can choose to embrace and end strong and finish well as we prepare to go into the final quarter of the year, but I’m getting ahead of ourselves here. So, rather than staying ahead of ourselves let's center ourselves right here right now where we are, the 25th day of September, the 269th day of this year. We’re reading from the Contemporary English Version this week. Isaiah chapter 45 verse 11 through 48 verse 11.

Commentary:

Okay. So, as we continue our journey through the letter to the Ephesians, this…this letter keeps telling us the story is bigger than you think it is, there’s a lot more at stake, you have to open your eyes and see what's going on here, this is of big deal. And, so, we've been kind of looking…looking at these different vista points as we make our way to the letter. And today, basically, the letter is telling us something we probably don't like to be told, but need to be told, “it's time to grow up.” And we might be thinking, “well…I'm…I'm up in years, you know, I'm…I’ve…I’ve been a grown-up, I've been an adult for a long time now. I don't need to grow up.” But, yeah, we…we probably have areas that we need to grow up in. For example, let me just quote what this letter suggests we should do. “Always be humble and gentle.” Like, I’m gonna go on but let me just pause there. Like are we that? Then we could say, “yeah. I’m mature in that area”, but if not, then there is some growing up to do. “Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other.” So, we’re seeing that maybe we all have some growing up to do. I continue to quote. “Try your best to let God Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace. All of you are part of the same body.” In other words, we are all in this together and it will not work any other way. Just like our bodies, right? Our hand can't just divorce itself from our body and it could be…it could be lopped off in some terrible accident but the hands not gonna live and the body’s gonna suffer. This is what Paul's been saying all along in his letters. So, continuing. “All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people. We have only one Lord, one faith and one baptism. There is one God who is the Father of all people. Not only is God above all others, but He works by using all of us and He lives in all of us.” Again, like that last thing, “He lives in all of us.” Chew on today. God lives in you. And all the things that are being suggested in this letter are things we can live into. We can choose not to. And honestly, most of the time we do choose not to, but that doesn't mean it's not available and that it's not real. Maybe we don't have eyes to see. Maybe there is some growing up to do. So, the letter continues to tell us that in order to become mature, in order to grow up, that Jesus has equipped the church. There are apostles and prophets and missionaries and pastors and teachers so that we could all grow and learn to serve and understand that we are part of one body and then when we grow strong, we are all growing strong. And when we are weak, we are all weak. We are one. We are one body, and this is gonna continue, these gifts that God has given to help us to mature and grow. According to Ephesians this is going to continue until we are united by our faith and our understanding of the Son of God, then…and I'm quoting…”then we will be mature just as Christ is and we will be” brace yourself… “and we will be completely like Him.” That's where this story is headed and according to the letter to the Ephesians and I’m just mostly quoting all of this, according to Ephesians “we must stop acting like children. We must not let deceitful people trick us by their false teachings which are like winds the toss us around from place to place. Love should always make us tell the truth, then we will grow in every way and be more like Christ, the head of the body. And Christ holds it all together and makes all of its parts work perfectly as it grows and becomes strong because of love.” So, maybe we do have some years under our belts. Maybe we do have lots of experiences upon this earth, but are we, for all of those experiences and all of those years, are we still spiritual children? Are we still immature? And if that were the case would that not explain so much about the rest of our story? Because so often we are confused at ordering our world around us with our senses is the key when actually life is inside out. If we are spiritually mature our world, our lives will fall in line accordingly because we will be spiritually mature. We will be closer day by day step-by-step into the likeness of Christ or re-quoting Ephesians, “we will be mature, just as Christ is and we will be completely like Him.” I mentioned where we are in the year at the beginning of our reading today and I was like yeah, we’re out in front of ourselves. There’s still five more days or whatever left this month, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But maybe just knowing that there are these days left in this month and then we will be turning into the final quarter of the year, maybe taking these days to consider our spiritual maturity, to consider maybe it's time to grow up and stop being little kids in this. Maybe that's what we spend our next few days preparing for and considering and meditating upon as we continue the journey forward because I would wager that a year like no other, this year, has done a lot of things but one thing that it has certainly done is expose different levels of immaturity in our lives. And I also would wager to say that, in order to finish this year well, this very very weird strange year we've been a part of and all the strangeness that is still out in front of us, we’re gonna need spiritual maturity. And, so maybe there's nothing more important to focus on today and in the coming days.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit we invite You. We invite You because You have promised to lead us into all truth. We are counting on that. And as You lead us, we are being made mature, we are growing up, we are being transformed into the likeness of the Savior. This is the goal, and this is what we are after. This is what our hearts long for. This is what we are crying out for. It’s just that growing up exposes that we’re not. Becoming mature exposes, the areas that we’re not. And then we squirm, and we don't like it because growing up takes work and requires responsibility and we don’t usually think of this in spiritual terms. And yet the quicker that we grow up spiritually and become mature within, the quicker we will be able to act with wisdom without. Come Holy Spirit we pray into this in the name of Jesus we ask. Amen.

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What’s up everyone? It’s Evan Olson from Greenville South Carolina just calling in a prayer request for my friend/coworker. Quite a divine appointment from God really. I just put in my two weeks at the pizza place I’m working at and then God presented a great opportunity for a job for me and my wife __  us before but…anyways I worked tonight…I prayed after I put my two weeks in and my coworker his name is Alex and he was standing in the back doing dishes and I just said I’m gonna go talk to him because he never really…he just started like a week ago and I just figured I’ll go talk to him. So, I walked up to him and talked to him and I mean the next thing I know he was telling me about stuff he was going through. His wife has cheated on him. He is going through a lot of suicidal thoughts. He’s tried commit suicide 17 times. I asked him if I..I asked him if I could call into this show and request prayer for him and he said yes and it was just amazing because, well, the Spirit just presented an opportunity and I invited him to church and everything and I just request prayer…prayer for him because he’s in a really tough spot right now. Thank you everybody. I love the Daily Audio Bible, longtime listener first-time caller.

This is Kitty Cat from Pennsylvania. This name was given to me by my beloved brother Tad and he’s actually also a DABber. He listens to Daily Audio Bible. I listened about four years and I just…I…this is my first time calling in for a prayer request. My prayer request is, after 65 years of really really excellent health…health…I’ve been so blessed in my life…I was diagnosed about six months ago with __ cell cancer in my face that unfortunately travels to some nerves. Now I went for 33 rounds of radiation and…and my prayer request is that while I wait for the test results that the anxiety will just be gone and that I can just be a shining light to my family and my friends and everyone, you know, and…and hopefully try to help them go through trials as well. And this, you know, obviously I hope the news is good and I pray for good news that I’m cancer free in November but I ask that you just pray that the fear is taken away…I…and I just can be a shining light during this time. And I listened today Psalm 63, O my word, that’s great. My soul clings to you, my soul thirsts for you. Your steadfast love Lord is better than light. And I love the Daily Audio Bible. And I just…I’m so thankful that you can pray for me. Thank you this is Kitty Cat from PA. Bye-bye.

Hi this is Jesse I am a resident in a hospital in Georgia. First of all, God bless everyone. And I’m having some problems at my residency. I just ask that God would give me the knowledge and wisdom to do right. I am being evaluated now so I’m just asking for God’s favor and I would ask if you can all join me in that prayer. And I will also ask for His grace and thank Him for it. I’ll say a prayer. Father, I only come before you and I just give you the thanks for everyone on this network. I thank you Lord God for letting them know you, letting them know who …who to come to and who to trust. I thank you for creating us. I thank you Lord God for the love that you’ve placed in us to give to others. And I pray now Lord God that every miracle in everyone’s heart of God will be made manifest Lord God before their eyes. And I thank you O Lord. God bless everyone. I love you.

Hey everybody this is Pelham calling from the great state of Alabama. I can’t even give you a city anymore because the Lord is moving me around, protecting me, healing me, binding up my broken heart and trying to show me the extent of His love, which is infinite. But I’m…I’m making this little call here today for Terry the Trucker. I’m trying something new. I’m gonna try to start caring about others instead of caring about myself. Wow…let’s see how long that lasts. But Terry, your call played like five days ago or a week ago something like that and I wanted you to know that I remember the first time you contacted the DAB. I remember…I remember the first time that you reached out and boy it feels like a lifetime ago but I wanted you to know there’s a guy in Alabama that’s praying for your peace and your strength and for your family and I’ve got to confess I probably need to listen to your prayer request again because there’s so much going on in my world that I can’t pay attention for longer than a few seconds. And the Holy Spirit has been gently nudging me to try something new and try to stop focusing on me and focus on others. And I’ll tell you, that’s not easy. But the Lord is so cool that He gives us the…the opportunity to experience how hard His job is getting the deal with all of his children and all of the forgiveness and the cross. I love you guys. Just wanted to say I’m alive. Bye.

Good day DAB family my name is Ron from the Philippines and I’ve been living in Dubai for 12 years it’s my first time calling using the app. Firstly I’d like to thank the people who have prayed for me on the Prayer Wall. They have been great blessing and encouragement and right now I’m just asking for more prayers because I’ve recently just lost my job and I only have a month to stay here in Dubai to try to find a new job otherwise I will need to go back home which is going to be tough. And, so, I need your prayers for God to direct me to the path that He wants me to go to. I’m also asking for prayers for comfort because there are bad days where I would sleep with a heavy heart, have nightmares, and wake up with palpitation. And, so, I’m just praying for God to cover me with this piece. I’m also facing the fact that I might not get anything after 12 years of service because I still have a loan and they would probably involuntarily put my benefits to the bank to pay off the loan. I’ve talked to the company and it seems that there’s no way, but I know that God will make a way and God will provide. And, yeah, I just thank you because I know that once you hear this a lot of people would be praying for me for an…an…an amazing job opportunity as well. And that gives me hope and strength and I know that this is a great testimony in the making. I am very grateful for this app for strengthening my faith immensely and for the people who are going to the same thing. We just need to trust God and He has amazing plans for our lives. God is good in God is Sovereign and we take comfort in that. Thank you, family, God bless you all.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community today is September 21st 2020 and it is 1:40 AM in the morning Central Time here in Newburgh Indiana. This is Diane Olive Brown shalom, shalom I’m putting my log in the fire and I want to go back to the 17th when I don’t know if it was a little girl or little boy but the song was so pure and so holy and I just wanted…I won’t be able to sing it like they…that little person did. [singing starts] Dear God please all the people that are in the fire. Please help them to be safe and not get harmed. Please help them to know that You are with them. Dear Lord, we love You so much. Dear Lord, we love You. You’re in our heart. We are in Yours too. Please help all the people to learn about You [singing stops]. Thank you little one.

[mewmewnyaart]

I'm not very good at drawing horror and blood but I recently have been getting into OFF lately so I figured I'd try to draw batter to pratice lighting and shadows

I also made my own au where batter and hugo switch places but I doubt anyone would like it or even read it heck I couldn't even get a single like on any of my posts

But here I go anyway :

So common belief that the world of OFF isnt real and that its all happening inside Hugo's head because hugo is in a comma and that the batter resembles the father and the queen resembles the mother

And that the guardians are the boy's immune system and organs that are intolerant to the drug liquid plastic that is being experimented on hugo

The mother was always a working woman and never gave hugo attention while the dad was a straight forward and loving man (I also have a personal theory that he's religious)

The mother wants hugo to live but the father wants to let the boy die because he's tired of seeing his own child in pain everyday

Ok now that I have that out of the way here's my au:

In this au its the father that ends up in a comma and hugo is the one who tries to save him from dying

Backstory to how the dad ended up in a comma:

Hugo in this au is healthy and lives a normal life the father was once a baseball player (as a hobby) so hugo got inspired by his dad and started to take baseball classes at his school

One day the dad was dropping hugo off for baseball practice and while waving goodbye while slowly moving out of the parking lot a reckless older student who wasn't looking quickly backs up his truck hitting the father and sending him into a comma

Ok now for the characters:

We enter the game as hugo and we are greeted by the judge and we start our journey of "purifying" the world just like batter

The enemies represent different family members who dislike or or even hate the father and the father's phobias or fears as well as microbes or poisons in the father's system

Then we have other characters like pets,neighbors,friends who are good guys or people who side with hugo in the this au

Also the puzzles would changed in this au

Hugo is a child and the father would probably play alot with hugo and his games since the mother was always busy ,so instead of floating boxes we'd get more complicated versions of kids puzzles like connect the dots or fill in the shapes etc.

Now for who each character represents and then I'll move on to what the goal of the game is or what Hugo's mission is:

Hugo= he represents the son in real life but he also resembles a new antibiotic that's being experimented on the father

The judge = in real he's the family house cat named milk ingame he's a guide but I have my own head canon

so alot of people tend to draw batter with his eyes closed some draw 4 eyes some draw no eyes at all

I like to think that the father irl has bad eye sight or sensitive eyes so he wears special glasses but will not wear any glasses when at home because he doesn't like to so he will walk around with his eyes closed

So milk will guide him throughout the house by purring or meowing at him

As for the smile the judge has on his face hugo likes the movie Alice in wonderland over and over so the image of the Cheshire cat would be embedded in the dad's memory which is why the judge appears that way

He views the judge as someone who is helpful

The queen = the queen is his wife however they start to have alot of problems and arguments before the father fell in a comma

And the relatives try to convince her to turn off the life support and move on with life

Dedan= irl he's the father's brother in law with a snappy attitude and he hates the father alot and even objected in thier wedding day he will do anything to hurt the father or cause trouble

The father sees his brother in law nothing more than a all bark no bite a big mouth

Japhet= in real life is the lady that lives next door (yes I KNOW japhet is male but he's based off if her in the father's head)

She's is very controlling person who enjoys gossip and can't mind her own business always sticking her nose where she can as well as pushing everyone around she does everything she can to get attention and impress people and she's flirted with the father mutiple times but she's ignored her every time

She has very loud and noisy birds and has killed thier other family cat Venice saying that she did it as self defense (Venice is Valerie basically)

The father views her as a parasite

Enoch= he resembles another dad that takes his kid to baseball practice but is in bad terms with the mother and will constantly pick on hugo for fun

He assumes if the father approaches him its because his wife told him to do so

and will constantly say that his child and wife are happy ,living a life with no problems thinking that he's got life figured out

Even though its clear that his son isn't enjoying baseball at all, is quite over wieght as well as his wife ignores him all the time not to mention he's constantly eating meaning that he has some sort of food addiction it seems he sees no irony in his life at all

The father sees him as an irresponsible over wieght person who's always lying to himself and to blind to see the truth thinking that his life is ok when it's clearly not

Zacharie = irl he's the father's best friend since middle school and they've known each other for years he was the best man at the wedding he's bisexual and in a relationship with a girl named sweetie (please don't hate me batterie shippers QWQ!) He used to crush on the father and even confessed to him on the wedding day he was heartbroken but accepted that the relationship was never gonna happen and was even mad at his best friend but realized it was wrong of him to feel that way

He eventually moves on

He likes to bring and buy alot stuff and show them to his best pal later somegimes illegal stuff (he even brought weed over one time oh boy) he's like an uncle to hugo and is always happy to help and defend his best friend no matter what

He views him as a brother and family member aswell as a very optimistic chill dude and will jokingly refer to him as "the merchant"

Sugar: irl she's zacharie's gf (before her he had 2 toxic exes and she helped him out of those toxic relationships) she and the father don't really talk all that much so he knows little to absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that she likes to talk funny sometimes and is really into dolls and aliens and a slight addiction to eating pixie straws (straws filled with powered candy or sugar)

He views her as a silent person nothing much

The elsens= they are the people that the father meets/sees/interacts with everyday/every once in a while but don't have much of a connection with (you know like a co worker you have small talk with or barely ever see)

Now for the plot :

After the father enters a comma the son starts to go from school to the hospital (they're very close to each other and you can say hugo is 5-7 years old and ) and visits his dad everyday and calls out to him hoping it'd wake him up

The mother scolds him for running off without super vision and that his dad won't wake up if he keeps calling him that whatever he does is useless that his father will remain to be a lifeless bag of meat on a bed

Hugo doesn't give up ignoring his mother's words

She realizes that hugo has an obsession with his unconscious father that is affecting his studies along with his social life

Zacharie doesn't make this any better because he offers to pick up hugo after school to prevent him from getting abducted or lost along with his jokes all the time

She slowly starts to Contemplate turning off the life support machine wondering if it would fix everything

Hugo hasn't been paying attention in class and thier marriage has been having a issues lately her family never liked or accepted him she sees zacharie and others as annoying and problems bringers and maybe they'd have less expenses if hugo didn't have to go to baseball pratice every day not to mention he'd less likely get hurt if he stopped playing

Everyone else started to convince her to turn off life support they discuss this next to the unconscious father

She prevents zacharie from seeing hugo and locks out any other connections the fatehr has

finally she becomes convinced however there's 1 barrier preventing her from doing that.....Hugo

The only person who truly gives hugo attention and love is his father without his father he'd feel lost and scared his mother is always working and doesn't give him much attention

Everyone tells him to give up on his dad and move on but hugo stands his ground

Alot of the arguments and conversations happen in the hospital room next to the father so he hears everything in his comma which leads to the creation of the world of OFF in his head

Therefore we play as hugo through out the game (dressed in a baseball outfit) solving puzzles and fighting enemies "purifying" the world

Not much changes the boss battles the add ons etc. Will remain the same in this au

Maybe there will be more rubber duck /duck/ bird themed stuff in this au aside from the pedalos (ex:move the boxes to make them look like a duck idk lol)

However the final boss will change

Canonly batter is stopped by the judge but in this au the judge sides with hugo because its the queen (the mother) who is trying to turn the switch off and hugo is trying to prevent that

So instead of the judge stopping hugo

Hugo will meet the queen, she will tell him to halt and not bother going any further that her intentions will not change hugo will begin to tell her off everything she's done wrong she will respond saying that she's doing it for thier sake (Hugo's and her's) but hugo calls her out and tells her its not true and she loses her patience with him leading to a boss fight if hugo wins then she will refer to him as "my little sweetheart" and fade into dust

"The room" will also change instead of hugo it'll be his dad (the batter)chained to a wall (basically a prisoner in his own mind) hugo will take 1 step forward activating a trap causing him to plummet down a tube and fall unconscious for a few minutes

When he wakes up he sees the queen and all the guardians standing before him the queen states that he can give up or die trying then she speaks to the puppeteer (the player) the you are given 2 options

1.aide with the queen

2.side with hugo

If you side with the queen you will have the guardians ok your side then Hugo's appearance will change as well he will appear to have a large head with a huge gaping mouth a baby rattle and apron and speech bubbles that say "wah wah" "whine whine" (stating that his mother sees him as a cry baby)

If you defeat hugo then the switch is immediately turned off and it gives 1 out of the 2 bad endings this ending is called "check mate" as a reference to a queen from chess

If you side with hugo then you will be defeated but you won't get a game over yet instead the queen will give you 1 last chance

Then you are given 3 options

1."surrender" 2."gasp for help" 3."cry"

If you choose surrender then you will get the 2nd bad ending in which in life support is turned off the father dies hugo becomes lonely with his mother busy all the time (and not allowing him out side the house and not trusting people) which leads to hugo growing up cold,plain and unloving

At some point there's a scene where adult hugo stares at his old mother laying on the kitchen floor in pain for a few minutes instead of helping her immediately indicating that he doesn't care

If you choose "gasp for help" then you will get the good ending "aye batta batta,strike!" In which hugo will call for help (while in deep pain from the fight) after a few calls judge,zacharie,sugar and a few elsens will come to the rescue and revive you fighting by your side allowing you to defeat the queen and guardians

Everything slowly starts to go back and the father wakes up from his comma everyone in the room stares in shock but hugo had the biggest smile on his face while standing next to his dad's bed "did...I miss something?"

"...daddy *breaks into tears*"

The 3rd ending called "better late than never" is triggered when you choose "cry"

Hugo will cry very loudly

The mother changes her mind and doesn't turn off life support but hugo stops visiting his dad and similar to the 2nd bad ending hugo grows up to be cold and unloving 13-16 years later hugo visits his father again and he finally wakes up from his comma and is discharged from the hospital after 1 year of rehabilitation therapy

By now the mother had remarried and the father missed his son's childhood so now he has to relive his life

However hugo meets a girl who is a complete opposite to him at work and church (rainbow hair,optimistic,enjoys music of various kinds,loves cute things,baking,jokes,and artist etc.) And is forced to work with her as well as she tries to get Hugo's attention so he asks his father for advice on how to get rid of this woman which leads to alot stuff going on and hugo allowing how to love and live life leading him to falling in love with the girl and becoming a new man

(This is personally my favorite ending lol and I MIGHT write fanfic of it on wattpad or here idk tbh )

Anyway this my OFF au I GUESS the name can change to the ON au or OFF/ON au lmao idk

Reblogs and feed back is appreciated

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY AU i worked hard on this thing spent 5 hours to write it all

Heh I sat this as of anyone is even gonna read whatever I dount it'll get noticed at all