#I'm feeling angsty

[prema2018core]

I wanna write past PieRio to present Yukierre fic with Pierre still longing for his first ever love he found on track and he realizes that he dated Yuki because he reminds him of Rio in some ways... Chat should I do it-

[dirtytransmasc]

What does quaritch think about spider running around half naked all the time at the Rda? Especially around rowdy military men, do you think he has a conversation with him about why he should wear human clothes or something else?

TW: referenced/implied sa

miles thinks about it each and every day, worries about what may happen to him. he knows what will happen to him, that this problem runs rampant in the military, that humans are still their filthy selves, taking and taking and taking. he knows when it happens, spider will get no justice, no apologies, no support; hell, depending on who it is, they might use that machine to turn his brain to mush or better yet, they'd kill him and make sure no one found his body. miles knows and it terrifies him, that his baby boy, innocent to the horrors of the world.

spider was na'vi in mind, he didn't understand something like this, like rape. the na'vi didn't even have a concept close to it, outside of human greed and he didn't even understand the basics of it; lying, hunting for fun, squashing bugs just for the sake of it. spider wouldn't even understand what happened to him, when, it happens. miles knew that's what would break his son, feeling that pain and not even being able to understand it, put a word to it, conceptualize it.

he tries to explain it, tries to explain the filth of the human race, their immoral lack of self-control, the savagery they are capable of. he hates having to imply it would be spiders fault, that his lack of clothing makes it ok, hates having to put that guilt on his son. it disgusts him, that spider is this young and has to worry about this, that his perfect innocence has to be destroyed. he tries over and over again to find the words, to get over himself and just say it, but he can't. the part of him that against any and all better judgment wants to scoop his boy up and run away, hole him and his squad up somewhere no one will ever find them, protect him with every primal instinct burning him up like an egg on a Georgia sidewalk in the middle of July; that part of him, couldn't break his boy like that, couldn't just spit out the truth not even to protect him.

he tries to always be with him, to never let anyone hurt him, but every day he gets more and more scared he will fail. so he forces spider to wear human clothes, only when he's inside and around the inhabitants of the lab, but spider still hates him for it. the kid would never fully grasp it, not without experiencing it, and miles would take his son cussing him out and shooting glares over that any day, so that's fine. he makes sure to take spider out more often, finds reasons to keep his son in the field even when he himself has to go back in to deal with ardmore, he's never forced to wear his human disguise for more then a few days at a time. miles promises that boy that he will move heaven, earth, pandora, wherever he thinks he's going when he dies, whatever he has to, to keep him safe.

but even with spider in the oversized t-shirt and baggy cargo pants, he still see's a little boy who human filth will lust after. now that he feels this fear, the pain of it wringing his gut, it will never stop. he worries about his baby boy every single day, longs to let him live in a world where the amount of skin he shows won't get him killed or worse. every day he continues to work as some sort of dog, follows every command, finishes every task, fights day in and day out to protect his son from the very company that is a threat to his safety, his innocence, brings him one step close to just leaving, following that gut instinct to just run and hide. maybe he will.

[yourenotdonefighting]

In my Romanogers feels

I'm feeling particularly angsty and nostalgic today, so here's a repost of one of my recent Steve x Natasha fics, "When a Minute Lasts Forever".

“See you in a minute,” followed by a confident, closed-lipped grin that he returned without a second thought.

Her smile, the last one she ever gave to him, would be imprinted on his brain until the day he stopped breathing. The smile that had him convinced that he would, in fact, see her in just a minute.

He didn’t, though. He never would again. And that was something Steve still couldn’t reconcile. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever understand how to live in a world where Natasha Romanoff was dead.

[glitterinlowgravity]

does anyone have any good lucigast (gen or slash) fics focused on past widomauk?

[shatouto]

don't they know they're making love to one already dead

[sheikfangirl]

Alternate Totk headcanon: Puppet Zelda won and and broke Link. He got entirely consumed by hatred and despair and is beyond saving now. No hope, no heart, unredeemable. Link is Puppet Zelda's corrupted knight. He is Dark Link.

[leona-hawthorne]

today i started thinking about mattheo riddle in his first year of hogwarts, trying to be outgoing and make friends as a little 11-year-old kid, but being pushed aside and left all alone because of the rumors he had yet to understand.

^^ imagine this little sweetheart looking around all confused when he walks up to people, asking to be friends, only to be left with all the kids his age outcasting him and looking at him like they're afraid. he'd just be hearing the whispers and seeing the eyes on him & wondering what it was that he did wrong 😭

(right now, i'm really fighting the urge to push aside all my requests and make a long ass list of headcanons about his life during his younger years and all the things that shaped him into who he is when he's older)

[starry-bi-sky]

The first time disciple Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu meets Liu Qingge, it is during a Bai Zhan peak raid. And what ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu gets kicked in the jaw with such force he feels his teeth clack together unpleasantly. And frustrated with his situation, the system, and quite frankly a ton of other little things that have been building up over the course of the last few weeks, he feels something snap in the back of his mind like that of a rubber band after being stretched too far.

What ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu turns and locks onto the very first figure he can see that is dressed in grey-and-white like a homing missile, and then with the force of a twin-tailed mountain tiger, lunges towards said figure with an equally menacing snarl.

He ends up taking the Bai Zhan peak disciple by utter surprise, and they both collide into the ground in a tangle of angry yelling and limbs. What ends up happening is that Liu Qingge gets the subsequent wind knocked out of him and pinned into the dirt by a Qing Jing peak disciple who is filled with the might and fury of a scholar having their peaceful afternoon interrupted and a once-grown-man re-experiencing puberty.

It is with that might and fury that Liu Qingge meets the wild, frenzied eyes of Shen Qingqiu, with his lips pulled back into a truly ferocious scowl. Shen Qingqiu hisses out, with such force it makes his voice rasp, as if he might as well sink his teeth into Liu Qingge's throat and rip it out; "Get the fuck off my mountain."

Liu Qingge is so shocked by -- well, quite a many things, but most importantly the fact that he has been pinned, and the way the sun is bouncing off this boy's face, -- that his brain needs five seconds to reboot. It's five seconds too long, because by the time he registers what just happened, Shen Yuan has clambered off him and disappeared. Gone and thrown himself into the closest dust cloud scuffling in order to unleash the rest of his fury on the other Bai Zhan Peak kids.

Qing Jing Peak experiences an unfortunate uptick in Bai Zhan disciple visits -- specifically of the Liu Qingge variety. Specifically Liu Qingge, actually. Who very much wants to find the boy that managed to get one over on him and demand a rematch. (Or maybe kiss him.)

[leashybebes]

Kiss meme: BucjTommy, 34, to pretend

whoops, angst incoming. thanks for playing!

Buck can't even claim that he didn't intend this. He took Eddie to the airport, wearing the same fake smile he's been wearing for weeks, so familiar now that it's starting to make his jaw hurt. He went as far as he could, smile still pinned into place, gave Eddie a warm hug and a slap on the back at departures, promising to see him soon.

Then he drove to a bar, where he got methodically drunk enough that looking at the Uber app stopped making him feel a little curl of shame, until the thing he wanted to do felt like a good idea.

So now he's here, in front of his ex-boyfriend's house, and he's drunk enough that he doesn't remember getting out of the car, doesn't remember walking up the path, doesn't remember knocking on the door. He does remember thinking on the way over - god, what if some other guy opens the door?

What happens is even worse - because Tommy opens the door and for a split second it's like he's forgotten, like the gorgeous smile that curves its way across his face at the sight of Buck is a reflex. But then it drops away, and Tommy's hand tightens on the doorframe. Buck sees his mouth start to shape a word and he can't - he can't hear Tommy ask what he's doing here, or tell him to leave, he can't.

"Everybody leaves me," he says, and that's not what he meant to say, but Tommy's face falls.

"You're drunk," he says carefully.

"Eddie left. You left. Tommy, I'm - I'm so alone."

Tommy's jaw tightens. "Come in," he says, and Buck crosses the threshold of a house he never thought he'd enter again.

Tommy's hand hovers over his elbow, not quite making contact, and he steers Buck to the couch, disappears, reappears a moment later with a glass of water that he carefully presses into Buck's hands. Buck holds it and looks at it, but doesn't make a move to drink.

Tommy crouches down in front of him instead of sitting next to him on the couch. Buck hates that, even as he likes the way Tommy looks looking up at him, his eyes dark and concerned.

"What do you mean, Eddie left?"

"Moved back to Texas," Buck says. "For the best. Chris is more important. But it - Tommy, it hurts."

Tommy sighs and unfolds from his crouch to sit next to him on the couch, finally touching him, even if it's only with a carefully platonic hand on the shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Buck. Can you drink some water for me?"

Buck does as Tommy asks, gulping down half the glass of water in a couple of mouthfuls.

"Take it easy," Tommy says gently and Buck drinks the rest of the water more slowly. He looks around as he does it - Tommy's place looks exactly the same as it does in his memory, as it did the last time he was here. It's like a time capsule, like he's been transported back to before.

Tommy takes the glass from him and leans forward to place it on the coffee table and when he comes back, Buck reaches out, fumbles a grab for his collar. Fumbles an attempt to land a kiss on his mouth.

Tommy stiffens and straightens up, taking himself further away, and it aches.

"Buck," he says gently, and it's the worst thing Buck's heard since 'they're not in LA, they're in El Paso'.

"Please. Just once. Just let me pretend."

"Buck - "

"Don't - don't, not that."

"Evan…" Tommy's voice breaks on the word, like Buck's doing exactly what Tommy was afraid he would do, like he's breaking Tommy's heart, right here, in real time. But he opens up his arms and lets Buck fall into him, and he kisses his hairline, just like he used to.

Buck closes his eyes and he presses a kiss to Tommy's collarbone where his face has landed and he pretends just as hard as he can.

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Its 2004... I need someone to hook my guy up with a skype account NOW.

[sketches-lauer]

Me suddenly remembering that Breath of the Wild came out SEVEN years ago:

[lotsamozzarella]

Rose of Revolution

[yeagrave]

🫵🤨

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've seen the last '"g-d made you perfect" that I can handle, and it's led me to a realization about how I think of g-d.

I don't think we were made perfect. We were made human. And, if I'm honest, the only perfection in my mind is g-d, and that sense of perfection is what differentiates humans from g-d. If humans were as perfectly-made as g-d, I for one wouldn't see the point in following, believing, trusting, caring for, or loving g-d.

I guess for me, I see the ways in which humans alter the Way We Were Created that I really don't think it's right to speculate as to if there's a limit to altering our abilities or bodies. For instance, as a trans person, I've definitely been inundated with this idea that because g-d made my body "perfect" that I shouldn't alter it ever, but isn't that a dangerous precedent? Is it really so, that our bodies are magically made perfect, as g-d that to even tamper with the idea of change would be the same as cursing g-d? I really don't think that's compelling.

I love thinking about just how much g-d is placed into people, but I don't think it warrants restricting the ability to learn, create, grow, or change. Thank g-d that He created the ability to change!

[doki-doki-imagines]

There is no love in your relationship. At least not from Kaiser's side. He likes you, as he may like someone else, but you make him feel good, and most importantly Michael firmly believes your actions, your words aren't born from the heart, but from a deep desire to use him, to wrap him around your fingers.

The blonde never reveals his feelings to you. He keeps a smile on his face even when your honeyed words make him gag. They are mellifluous, and Kaiser can hear the lies dripping. He is always on the alert, waiting for you to drop the mask and show your true face. Michael tells himself he is ready for your betrayal and it's not like he is getting used to you, not moving a inch when you ask for something he doesn't want to do, provoking and teasing you, fueling the fire to see your real self.

The problem comes when he notices that there isn't malice in you, or at least there is no malice towards him from you. Michael isn't used to that, unloved since the day he was born, disliked by many, a disgusting guy that finds pleasure just in other people downfall. That's why when he starts to feel his heart beating dangerously fast when you smile at him, or when he feels the need to put a cover on you when you fall asleep on the couch, even tucking it in so you won't get cold, he starts to worry.

It's not the same affection he sports for Ness, more similar to the one a kid has for his new favourite toy, or as Alexis' parents would say, "an experiment well made". It's totalising, making him feel like dirt under nails, something that scratched old memories that still wound his mind. He searches for an explanation of his emotions in his psychology books and everything points at love. But the outcome isn't the same because Michael broke the first rule of a loving relationship; truth. So now worry and anxiety pervade Michael's body because now that he desperately cares about you, he understands that you'll never love his real self, would never love the corrupt person he is.

A laugh with no real joy leaves Michael's throat, hands scratching his eyes, blonde long lashes already sticking together thanks to the newborns tears. Fingers digging into the skin of his cheeks. Imagines of you smiling, of the handmade gift you gave him for his b-day, of your eyes filled with joy, of you angry but still loving him flash in front of his eyes.

But nobody loves dirt under the nails. Seems like he was born to be unlovable after all.

[lunarharp]

orufrey