#I'm choosing to have faith
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Do we have confirmation anywhere that The Cavalry Has Arrived will have a standard runtime? Because if not, I'd put money on it being at least hour long. It's the series finale, episode 15 of a traditionally 16 episode season, and Aftermath ran for 75mins.
I'm putting this out there because a lot of us are wondering how they can possibly wrap this up in two episodes. Me included. Seriously. Two episodes?!
But like, those two episodes could easily run for 90 minutes. That's a whole-ass movie. A lot can happen in a movie.
#I'm choosing to have faith#If I'm delulu#let me remain delulu#and maybe do a cheeky lil welfare check after e15 drops#the bad batch#sw tbb#the bad batch speculation#tbb speculation#tbb meta#the bad batch meta#ADH-D2's Patented Bullshit
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lover by the sea
#wow it doth be me#caption is because the weather is like a seaside storm so that is why 🤸♀️#tavros in the background haunted by junior high (i choose to keep him up)#anyway face feels weird irl but pictures are so cute again i feel better#faith is right i do have a great smile#anyway I'm gonna go get tipsy byeee#well not bye send asks
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Speaking of GW1 and GW2 ... I've had plenty of complaints over the years about how GW2 has chosen to handle and retcon human-centric GW1 lore, the framing of the human gods, etc. That said, I've recently been appreciating that GW2 has retained a particular element of GW1's treatment of humanity and their gods that I've always really liked.
Humans in the GW universe are not really generic everymen, as humans so often are in fantasy settings. Nor are they so wildly varying and unpredictable that there's no sense of humanity having its own distinct flavor like the other playable species do. In many ways, they occupy a vaguely "elvish" position in the world—they've been on this world for a very long time and used to be a major power, or rather, made up many major powers with various warring factions that sometimes found common cause.
But in more recent eras, many of the ancient human civilizations have dwindled and/or suffered various atrocities and/or lost their minds. And culturally, humans tend to have a strong affinity for the mystical and even more for the divinely mystical, which their political power in previous eras was directly tied to. The vast majority of humans in this world are faithful worshippers of a human pantheon of six gods (formerly five).
Not all humans are magical or religious, to be sure, but a lot of them are, to the point that this seems their most distinctive cultural quality. Minor NPCs tend to have background dialogue invoking the gods ("By the Six!"), or referencing one of the gods (often but not only the goddess Dwayna, leader of the Six). The main human NPC of the core game, Logan Thackeray, continually references the gods, as do most of his military fellows.
Most interestingly, though, if you choose to play a human, you will automatically be a devout adherent of the faith of the Six regardless of any other choices you make. In addition, human PCs are blessed by one specific god among the Six whom you choose at character creation.
This mostly has minor flavor effects in practice. A priest of the god you chose permanently hangs out in your home district, and sometimes other priests of your god can perceive some mark of their deity's favor when they look at you.
Howeverrrrr, when I say "their deity," I don't mean that they exclusively worship the god they've dedicated their lives to, or that "your god"—the god whose favor you enjoy as a human PC—is your god in any remotely monotheistic way. Humans faithful to the Six are faithful to all the Six until one of the gods falls to evil. And when that god becomes the villain of the second GW2 expansion, various human NPCs are shown going through a crisis of the soul regardless of whether he was their particular patron or not. Having a more specific personal tie to one of the gods, or being particularly blessed by one of them, or being specifically devoted to a life of service to one of them, does not in any way prevent humans from devotion to the rest of the pantheon.
Mechanically, this means that no matter which deity you choose as your particular patron, your human PC starts the game with the ability to pray to Dwayna, goddess of life and air and healing. When you pray to her, a blue image of Dwayna materializes, heals you, and vanishes. As you level up, your human-based skills will extend to prayers to the other gods.
Praying to Lyssa, goddess of illusion/chaos magic and water and beauty, confounds foes by inflicting random conditions on them and random blessings on you. Praying to Kormir, goddess of spirit, order, and truth, will free you from negative effects like immobilization. The final prayer you can use, iirc, and the most powerful, is the prayer to Balthazar, the god of fire and war who ends up going super evil. If you're playing a fragile class like an elementalist or mesmer, praying to him is actually great, because he blesses you with two fierce hounds made of flame who fight alongside you and soak up damage. (Praying to Balthazar does feel a lot weirder in retrospect, I'll admit.)
In any case, the point is that you can pray to ANY human god and receive a brief visitation from that god, because the entire human pantheon are your gods even if you're only special to one of them. A similar dynamic is at work for NPCs as well. A recurring NPC in the core GW2 story, for instance, is Rhie, a priestess of Grenth, god of cold, darkness, judgment, and death (he's not evil, just goth). Even by priest of Grenth standards, Rhie is greatly favored by him, and as a result is able to perform powerful rituals dealing with the boundaries between life and death. But there's no expectation that this means she should abjure the other gods in any way, and she certainly does not (in fact, she provides a Human Religion 101 rundown about the gods in general in her first appearance in the human storyline).
And it's so common in fantasy, I feel, that polytheistic cultures are conceptualized as giving adherents a wider choice of gods to be the one they actually worship for real, often with the implication that worshipping one god in the pantheon naturally translates into hostility or apathy towards other gods in the same pantheon. And so I do enjoy playing a religiously devout character who has a special patron deity blessing her and who is emphatically polytheistic throughout her entire original storyline.
#i don't even remember how pof plays for human characters and i'm not going to look. but looking forwards to it tbh#especially because i imagine gwen as particularly faithful to the six; the street origin pcs get some markedly devout remarks#yeah lyssa is the one who went out of her way to bless gwen but that never stopped gwen from praying to balthazar before#the hounds of balthazar rock for a mid level illusionist actually! lyssa understands using whatever tools are available!#anghraine babbles#long post#ascalonian grudgeblog#anghraine's gaming#cw religion#sff blogging#guild wars 2#i will admit that i think it'd be cool if the blessing of a literal god had more of an impact#the human gods are incredibly powerful beings!#or alternately i think it would be cool if the human pc isn't particularly blessed by the gods and just generically devout#and instead they choose a more specific cultural background#normally you can only select an ascalonian elonian canthan or krytan background if you choose one specific storyline#and it affects almost nothing#even though the city you come from is mostly organized around the different human diaspora communities so it's still very much a thing#but that said i do like that it's very clear that you can have a special relationship with one of the gods#without that making them the only one of the pantheon who matters to you#anghraine's meta#priestess rhie
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Can I be real for a second? I don't think L giving a foot massage to Light was very in-character of him. Like manga!L would've totally scoffed at how pathetic anime!L appeared when he did that.
I like the rain scene bc it's really pretty (also Light MOANS bc of L? *sighs* yeah i ship lawlight) but I'm always so ?? at anime!L's behavior? The anime made L way too melancholic and y'know self-deprecating kinda guy. In contrast, manga!L (whom I love to death) is so so confident in doing what he's doing and has the time of his life during the Kira case as he's intellectually challenged (by Light) as he figures out the case little by little.
I don't get where the anime creators got the idea that L is a very sad character who cares about justice so much so that he's actually Justice itself? Manga!L enjoys solving cases. I'm not saying that L doesn't care about justice at all- just that he cares more about winning.
So, the anime creators looked at a character who cares about winning (& his own ego) than everything else and decided to... make him give a foot massage to his nemesis (surprise surprise bible symbolism featuring L as Jesus *🤮* coming up) apparently due to accepting Light's (boy's first debut as Judas) 'betrayal' how can there be betrayal when there was no trust between them in the first place and saying "It is the least I can do to atone for my sins"...
The only way I could've made a little sense of this is if L was mocking Kira with that line but the anime just had to go above & beyond to make it (L's actions) seem too genuine for that to be true. which is. so. FRUSTRATING
Manga!L wouldn't have done anything like that. Not even ironically (he'd have thought it to be below him for pretending to be accepting his defeat mockingly to Kira). Even Manga!L's not enough of a bastard to try to compare himself with Jesus (and just after knowing (god knows how) that he's going to die)- like that's too stupid omg: even for a mockery.
Does he actually think that Light would pick up on the (him as Jesus) symbolism and be like 'oh no! L is too noble like Jesus to die by my betrayal i'm such a bad judas how come i NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE'... and decide to spare L's life? Or embrace his inner Judas like the bad bitch he is and finish L for that godawful mockery of Jesus?
Whenever I think about Anime!Light's in-character reaction I crack up as it would be smth like 'wow this guy who graduated summa cum laude from torture university is pretending to be Jesus? lol what a real piece of work. would've expected better from you L: so pathetic lmao i hope rem kills you soon i'm so done with you rn- rip 💀'
Manga!L (if he knew he were going to die (don't know how that's possible in the anime; still we're talking about how the anime creators seem to see L as Jesus so ~anything is possible~) that is) would never go 'guess i'll die' accept his defeat offering a foot massage to his enemy and inwardly throw a pity party being all "… It'll be lonely, won't it?" GIRL you were the one going on & about how you'd EXECUTE Kira once you catch him on live tv (also saying that you'd bring Kira's head to the task force) I REALLY doubt you'd feel lonely if either one of you were to die- that (killing each other) was the point!!
Manga!L is a selfish character: he values his victory above all else so the anime making him accept defeat that easily + gracefully doesn't sit well with me.
#death note#l lawliet#light yagami#manga vs anime#manga!L#anime!L#anime!Light#the rain scene#the foot massage scene#yes i ship lawlight; no i don't think the rain scene was very faithful to L's character in the manga; yes we exist#as you can see i rlly RLLY don't like anime's take on L: i prefer the og manga!L :)#anime!L just isn't my cup of tea#manga!L's confidence in his assholery is much rather appreciated#i keep thinking about how i don't like certain parts of dn anime: the first of which being this rain scene#the second being how the anime handles Sayu's kidnapping and Light's reaction to it#but that's a can of worms i'll open later#i can't shut up apparently so here's a teaser: Light wouldn't have MURDERED Sayu OH MY GOD READ THE GODDAMN MANGA#in which he bends over backwards to protect her! and succeeds!! (at the cost of losing the death note to Mello) would you look at that??#yeah i'm aware anime!Light doesn't kill Sayu but the way he's shown seriously considering it#(and choosing to let her live only so as to not increase suspicion)#leaves me so ANGRY#SAYU MEANS A LOT TO LIGHT OK?#he would not fucking do that#aaaaand....end rant#p#my meta#sorta#100
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Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.
Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.
How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!
#this is so incoherant#I'm also thinking about how Marisol fits into this narrative and how this idea of being taken in or fooled by a person plays into what we#know of her - how she wasn't upfront with Eddie (not saying she had to be right from the off but before moving in!!!) - how she is kind of#representative of secrets - especially around faith and ones connection with faith because she is essentially a stand in for catholicism#which (sorry to all the catholics out there) peddles in magic and secrets in order to keep the mystery of faith alive and therefore keep#people believing. How Eddie's reckoning with himself and the ghost of Shannon ultimately means choosing either to follow the path of#catholicism or non catholicism#How Marisol is a tie to religion and therefore his reasons for not having successful relationships after her (or even with her) and how#Eddie letting go will ultimately mean letting go of Marisol - how he can never fully move forward while catholicism still lingers#how I don't' think we'll be seeing the queer aspect of this narrative this season - that dealing with this first part is key and only once#he has figured it out can he then be free to know himself - is true self better - and accept and move into his full self as a queer man#so yeah - catholic guilt arc 7b and 8a - as its really a two parter - finally dealing with the remnants of Shannon - and its connection wit#his faith and then when truly free of that exploring his queerness!#So yeah - Marisol will possibly be here until towards the end of the season because she is meant to be the trigger point for Eddie in#relation to Shannon - its why they made the difference (and similarities) between S and M very obvious in 7x01#they have the time to build this story arc more fully now with the s8 renewal - to do it justice and unfortunately as part of that it means#she'll probably be around longer than any of us would like!#I don't know if I even make sense at this point#but I do want to reitterate that the show is goig out of its way to contrast her with Buck as well#to really show how close and right for each other Buck and Eddie are so no one needs to panic - she's here for the narrative not forever!#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz
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Teruko and Yosano should've faced off. I think Yosano should've been posed that question that Atsushi was; that reveal of the "future war" - Teruko went along with Fukuchi out of a mix of indebtedness and being at a loss for what to do. War is all she's known; of course she doesn't know. But Yosano has been to the depths of despair and come back out of it again. She might've faltered at this horrific reminder of her trauma, but when it comes down to it, she saves the lives before her. She fought for a way back to light and life. I just think there could've been a really interesting conflict there. And it would've made Teruko's role much more tragic if she wanted desperately for there to be a third option but just didn't have enough time to sit with it and process what that third option might be before Fyodor made it all go to hell.
Also a fight between them would've been interesting, because Teruko is much physically stronger than Yosano, but Yosano can heal from any physical injury inflicted. However, since we now know Teruko can alter mental age, she could inflict psychological wounds by de-aging her, which would've been a good callback to the horrors of war in her backstory, and also been a nice bit of foreshadowing for Teruko actually being a child.
Teruko eventually allowing Yosano to leave out that door after seeing her resolve would've been a deeply bittersweet and powerful moment, I think, especially in hindsight after her backstory reveal.
#look i love atsushi's response in that scene - it's a wonderful bit of character development for him to choose to walk out that door#i wrote a meta about it even#but it didn't go anywhere. and with teruko being present and having such an impact at the climax of the arc#her tragedy would've hit harder if she'd had literally any moment of relation with a member of the main cast.#also atsushi didn't even really do anything with the info. it was literally just to tell the audience that there was more to the story#his conflict really should've focused solely around sskk's previous failure and akutagawa's sacrifice#and meursault arc should not have been so prevalent. sorry.#either that or they should've kept dazai and fyodor contained and had sigma nikolai and chuuya be the main actors. but whatever#the arc should've been more focused on fukuzawa ranpo yosano fukuchi teruko and tachihara#from the start.#see i actually think the twists are fun and good but man i do wish we actually had the time to sit on them.#the emotional core is there it's just... buried under shock value plot twists. doa arc is a tragedy. let us sit with the tragedy.#fukuchi is a tragic figure by which i don't mean he makes me sad but like. a classical tragic figure. he was doomed from the moment#he went to war.#his desperation to avert another caused him to go hurtling down the path of no return. to hurt his friend ironically because he had#unshakeable faith in him#fukuzawa and fukuchi are the emotional core#the themes are war and desperation.#those only became fully evident at the very end. there was some great set up then the middle became a bit. muddled? to me?#i just think we needed to have picked a few focal characters and stuck with them. imo.#eh ignore me i'm not even really complaining i'm just thinking#bsd#storyrambles
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today on random languages my brain is going 👀 at is biblical hebrew and biblical greek
#the following tags will have discussions of my faith and christianity in general so if you're not interested in that then stop reading ig#some lore: in my early teens i did consider doing a theology degree at uni and becoming an ordained minister/taking a role in the church#this was before i found out a) in my denomination only men can be ministers (deaconesses exist but yeah) and b) the church as an institutio#is pretty yikes#and then finding out i'm queer and nonbinary threw other spanners in there but despite it all my faith is still so so important to me#i want to start learning about christian/comparative theology more broadly to understand both my own faith and others' better#idk why but today i randomly ended up on the webpage for the theological college in NI and was just looking through the courses they offer#maybe someday in the distant future i'll have the money and time to burn to do an online postgrad degree with them#but yeah they have a postgrad certificate in biblical greek 👀 which looked v cool#the internet is a wonderful place and i found a pretty comprehensive looking biblical hebrew course on youtube and i'd probs be able to fin#biblical greek somewhere if i looked hard enough#greek and hebrew are both such linguistically interesting languages and being able to read some would also help in my theological adventure#so new side quest just dropped ig? at least it's my reading week this week so I can dabble in them with no consequences#i've also been wanting to try and learn a language via an immersion focus - obvs can't do full immersion with biblical greek and hebrew but#yeah using a less grammar and vocab focused approach than i'm used to#i have access to digital bibles so i could just choose a v literal english translation and then try and parse what's happening?#yeah we'll see#langblr#ellis exclaims
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if more people knew Herstory (aka 2004 season and sete&vale) so many questions wrt 2015 season(mostly “why would vale….”) would immediately be answered addfghjk like guysssss guyssssss
it is kinda funny that there's a simple cheat code out there to understanding most of valentino's career but it's just about long enough ago that most people simply... ignore it. like there's a three year span that more or less tells you what you need to know about him. it's like you say! pretty much every possible "why would vale..." secretly has a straightforward answer, and 9/10 it's something that was established in 2003 to 2005. simple as
if anything it's almost annoying because it's too easy. the 2004/2015 stuff in particular is incredibly funny. oh, so you say you have a controversial last lap at assen where valentino beat a rival in direct combat and said rival reacted surprisingly poorly, making valentino reevaluate his relationship with the rival? might that tell you something about how a seed of suspicion once sown can remain dormant for months until valentino is given cause to revisit it? valentino quite literally says in his biography that he could never have hated biaggi because he wasn't a friend and didn't have the power to hurt him... the sepang pressers thing is genuinely just silly, I know this is mainly a function of when they happen in the calendar but what a bizarre coincidence. 2015 is like a slightly more opaque funhouse mirror version of 2004 - but so many of the major beats are virtually identical. which means you've got a season Out There where a younger less experienced less guarded less cynical valentino basically walks you through his internal processes so you get a really good handle of what his deal is. he's piecing together his identity as a competitor going forwards in real time - and then in 2015 he just reminds you of what exactly that identity involves. it's a reaffirmation and not a departure... he's not that inscrutable after all, in the end
#i kinda feel like i've done my civic duty on that front like it's now easily available for the people if they choose to Perceive#with the vale/marc rivalry in particular obviously you'll always be hampered there if you're not paying much attention to pre-2013#but also the sete stuff is open to BORING bad faith interpretations so i'm extremely fine with the details remaining niche#u do sometimes see a take where u go Well Ackshually if u consulted this obscure interview from 2004 - but that's the devil talking#it's fine and valid to not care about valentino's interiority but obviously there's only so far u'll get with that#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#fun story: the sepang 2004 presser isn't available in full in the actual motogp search function#so for ages I heard the commies refer to it in various races and was SO frustrated because I had like. a minute's worth of clips#and then I did some creative googling and eventually discovered it WAS on the website but just not. searchable#first time I watched it my mouth dropped open cartoon-style like wdym this is a thing that happened this is a thing that exists#it is absolutely BIZARRE that this is out there it genuinely broke my brain. and nobody talks about it???????#probably for the best but you really wouldn't know valentino's villain origin story is literally just. out there. like you CAN watch it#I've heard some people canonically were already motogp fans in 2004 and it's kinda incredible this has been completely memory holed#if I'd been a journalist in that presser I would literally never shut up about it. not a SINGLE sepang 2015 article makes reference to it#I have not seen a single person apart from myself make the EXTREMELY obvious connection and I just?? how is that possible??#IT'S LITERALLY IN THE SAME PLACE MOST LIKELY THE SAME ROOM LIKE THIS ISN'T A BIG LEAP#maybe he really is some kind of malevolent demonic creature because at this point... people were canonically in that room y'know#curse tag#idol tag
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the practice of taking multiple names... i do wish it was a bit more supported in places like the united states. i love my family name, my family means the world to me,
but there's also the last name of berri that i'd love to take. it was the second name that stuck with me after "mira", and i've nicknamed myself "miraberri" in a lot of things over the past year i've had it...
...i suppose the other trouble is that i've already changed my legal name once, and so now i'd have to pay for it to be changed again... ahh, the wonders of capitalism and rigid social systems.
wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a society that embraced Change?
that freely allowed, even encouraged changing oneself? embracing the fact that everything will change eventually, and must do so for things to not become stagnant?
that some things might not be right as they are, despite the state of things being comfortable for many people? that the status quo, or our time-honored traditions, aren't infallible, perfect concepts?
i guess the idea is too much for some people to understand.
maybe some day, that'll change, too.
#i've held that belief for as long as i can remember really holding beliefs about society...#it's really funny finding someone i can identify with so well- in both name and ideals- in media i wasn't expecting to#faith's the one thing i still haven't necessarily narrowed down fully in myself. like i know i'm not christian- but i'm not atheist either.#i've had an idea of what afterlife i hope for... but that doesn't really mean much if i never get to see it until the end- now does it?#i suppose if there's one thing i can believe in... it's the ability for things to change- for life to take its own path...#even if it feels like a frustrating endless cycle sometimes...#some day... something will change. it always will. and suddenly you won't feel so trapped anymore.#because if everything's a cycle... your sadness had a start to it- it'll have an end to it as well! it'll come back around!#and everyone... everyone has the power to change things for the better! for themselves- and for the world!#so... if i had to choose one god to believe in... i think it'd have to be a god of change.#so i guess... thanks in stars and time. for helping me reach a decision about faith.#if you read my little tag ramble... thank you as well.
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#fallen london#want to know because I'm nosy#flmp#mp#I went with crooked cross and have no regrets#mostly because I saw the part a priest from his faith and convince him to deface the sign of his god bit and was like sweet sign me up#well I have one teeny regret to the tune of 1001 memories of light#but otherwise#yeah yeah I could switch temporarily but ugghhhh#'you need 1001 memories of light! you have 18!' fml#edit: is no one choosing licentiate because none of us know how to spell it?
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You spent weeks with him. Just you two. He comes through sometimes, right? He's unpredictable. Last 24 hours, he sucker-punched us and tried to steal our train.
#nbc revolution#revolutionedit#miles matheson#revolution#declaration of independence#my gif#i'm choosing to have faith in him#someone hold me
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I know we've been waiting forever for this adaptation and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion, but we have to remember the season is gonna be 8 episodes long. We only saw 2 so far. This is not a movie, give the tv show time to flesh things out on its own time before judging its quality.
We are so familiar with the material that it's easy to forget there was a time when we weren't. Plot points and characters were introduced slowly, you can't expect the tv show to get to that level of depth when they only adapted a third of the first book.
#im guilty of that as well#there are things i think they could have done better#my first instinc was to complain about it#but i'm choosing to have faith#pjotv
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🫥
*it cut off my last tags which were: I don't know what I can do about this but in the meantime it's a struggle
#random personal stuff#back on my soapbox feel free to ignore#okay so I have been struggling a bit in the Sunday school class that I am being taken to#which is not surprising because I have been struggling socially in this church for the past year#it's a women's class taught by the pastor's wife but not all the women in the church are in it#most of them are middle-aged/elderly#what we're learning is perfectly fine#I appreciate that they're going through an epistle and not lecturing us on How To Be Good Wives and Mothers#but the other women will chime in with their thoughts in between discussions of doctrine#and it will be things like empty little slogans#(such as 'Choose joy!' or 'GodisgoodallthetimeandallthetimeGodisgood')#(not that there isn't any truth in those but they're used tritely)#or What The Lord Did For Me (or: My Life Is Perfectly Peachy)#or things that suggest their faith is all about never being upset by anything ever because you Have Peace#and I kind of wonder if this is a generational thing#because sometimes I'll call my mom with something that's troubling me#and she'll tell me things to the effect of 'just don't feel that way'#or 'ask the Lord to take it away'#which is kindly meant but ultimately ineffective in my experience#but anyway I'm sure these women mean what they say yet at the same time it just...feels insincere to me#as if as Christians we're just supposed to paste smiles on our faces and never have negative feelings#I'm not saying we should all come to class and dispense our personal dramas#but it feels like we're showing up and performing Niceness#and not allowing room for anything that isn't Easy Answers Positivity#and I sit there feeling like there's a huge invisible brick wall around me#and I'm sure that's a me problem#but...I don't know what I'm trying to articulate here sorry#I guess I don't know how to interact with these people because nothing seems real#and we can progress no further than the smallest of small talk because heaven forbid we let our real honest selves slosh over in public#and it's draining!
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Sally's apology to John really struck me as a raw, meaningful parent-to-child apology. She didn't dumb anything down, she didn't lie to soften anything, she claimed all of her actions... he was so young, and Sally reacted to his age not by talking down to him, but by finding a way to describe the whole truth so he could understand
Most importantly I think is how she kept saying that John is a good person. Like...she thought she was about to die. And she didn't spend that time asking John for forgiveness or to remember her in a good light. She dedicated her words to making John feel loved. She spent that precious time giving him something to make sense of it all, to heal somewhere down the line even when she's not there
#HHHHHHUHHHHHHHHHH#i know that Sally & John's interactions at the college indicate a bunch of fucked-up-edness#ie him saying 'i love you' & her not hearing it. her asking him for reassurance#but i see the apology scene & her concern for him after the shooting#as evidence that she's going to give him SOMETHING good as his mother.#call me what u want but i have faith in them.#She's not perfect and they've got SOOOO much shit to live with. the both of them.#but amongst all of her motivations there is a genuine desire to see her son safe & happy#and i'm crossing my heart & hoping to die that -- now that Barry's not there -- that love for John comes through. and that he feels it.#the fact that they had an easy conversation outsite the theater; there was no indication Sally is using substances; John is sober;#and that John has friends.... I'm choosing to take these as indicators that -- despite the genuine problems that Are there --#John & Sally are reasonably healthy and so is their relationship.#oh god. this show. takes a fucking Lot out of me#barry hbo#sally reed#john berkman#barry finale#barry meta#pyra speaks
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"horikoshi confirms my hero academia's epilogue ends in 5 chapters"
(rant thing in tags)
#if yall think this is a sad reaction meme it's not#it's a “really?” meme#bc he there was so much to cover and now it's shorten to 5 chapters?#i have a feeling some higher ups did that but w/e#those chapters better be long and doesn't fool around and addresses the main points#what happened to the villians the corruption of hero society and the mysterious guy and the future of hero society#bc if it is some nonsense i wouldn't be surprised#the official ending not counting the epilogue was ass#i'm not even saying that as a tomura fan it was just. ASS#like for once this dumb fanbase agreed that entire fight was ass#i still think the 2nd war arc sucks and i'm just nervous for what these 5 chps entail#or maybe they're not bc he said the epilogues would be long idfk#i've been in this fanbase for 4 years but i can't imagine how longer term fans feel this was just. fucking ass#i've always had mixed opinions of horikoshi's writing but never lost faith in the writing but i kind of have#i'm choosing to be on hopium still so let's hope!#mha#my hero academia
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Am I supposed to take advantage of the night to keep working on my thesis, of which I've barely completed 1/9th (discounting research, abstract, introduction, structure and bibliography)? Yes. Am I instead reading my second novel of the day? Yes. Should I go to bed instead because it's 4am? Yes.
Earlier today I read This is How You Lose the Time War, that I had been meaning to check ever since it was published, and it was gorgeous. Really beautiful, the letters, the descriptions of the multiple universes, times and planets visited, the ways Red and Blue work, the emotions... Pure joy.
Right now I'm reading The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet, and it is fascinating. I love a good scifi book, especially a scifi book that really takes into consideration the vastness of space and how varied other species and planets could be. Also punching holes through subspace sounds like a pure adrenaline trip and I'm deeply interested and captivated.
Anyway. Thesis is not progressing, deadline is getting closer. I should stop reading and start writing at some point. Meh. Stress levels are still not optimal. Stars aren't aligned. Need more adrenaline.
#rapha talks#rapha reads#books#book recs#literature#sf literature#scifi#this is how you lose the time war#the long way to a small angry planet#i know i'm the one who came up with my thesis subject. i know i'm the one who choose to go back and get another master's degree.#but still. why the hell did i do that. this thesis is killing me.#or maybe not the thesis itself but the stress of writing it coupled with the intense family drama i have to deal with at the same time#adding to that the fact that i don't have a job lined up next yet + won't have a flat after the 31st and need to get my stuff back#... i can't focus at the same time on my thesis my dad going through it my mom and her dumbass decisions and my future situation#it's just too much. so instead i read. reading has never failed me. reading is the most faithful companion of my existence#if i couldn't read anymore i don't know what or who i'd be#i need somebody to find me a flat and a job and someone else to deal with my parents while i finish this thesis#sadly no one is jumping on the tasks and i'm left with too much noise in my head
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