#I'm breaking the laws of physics with cookies

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

I did

another thing

-

The Ever-Loyal Monster, Blinding Syrup Cookie

Long ago, in the past when the Beasts were first baked, there were other ‘first Cookies’ outside of the ones that went rogue.

A hatched egg of defiance.

A iridescent butter of creation.

A gleaming oil of innovation.

And then…there was little Sterling Syrup Cookie. He lacked the obviously strong attributes of the others. He did not have great magic or powerful physical might.

What he was, however…was Loyal. He admired the first Heroes and their strength. And he admired the Witches for creating them.

…but when the Beasts went rogue, something in him snapped. And that admiration of the Heroes turned to hatred.

When he heard that the Witches doubted some of their creations after the fall of the Heroes, Sterling Syrup was determined to prove his devotion. He approached the Witches outright, declared his loyalty, and…

What happened next is unknown. But the Witches did not doubt his loyalty anymore.

But they couldn’t have known that the Virtue of Loyalty that Sterling Syrup held, had become Fanaticism.

He was rebaked into a new being - Blinding Syrup Cookie. And his role? One was to hunt down the Beasts, no matter the cost. No matter how far he had to go.

The other was to ensure loyalty and devotion among the Cookies that remained…and punish any dissenters.

While his exact involvement is unknown, he had a hand in the breaking of Gleaming Oil Cookie.

He tracked the Beasts across the world of Earthbread, doing whatever he could to drag them back in chains to the masters they betrayed. Whatever he did during that is also unknown - and the Beasts certainly don’t want to talk about it. Nor should you ask.

Shadow Milk Cookie remembers the burning light.

Mystic Flour Cookie remembers the groans of the suffering.

Eternal Sugar Cookie remembers the chains pulling at her neck.

Burning Spice Cookie remembers the cold gnawing at his dough.

Silent Salt Cookie remembers the screams he couldn’t voice.

In the end, Elder Fairy Cookie sealed them…without Blinding Syrup Cookie’s help. Utterly infuriated, he made a decision.

As it was his duty to forever hunt the Beasts, he would forever wait for their return.

As it was his duty to ensure loyalty and devotion, he founded the Army of the Oven - a titanic faith formed of any and all who served the Witches. Survivors of the Beast’s rampage, who wished to never suffer like that again. Their dedication would be forged to an unbreakable point by Blinding Syrup. He made sure they would never betray the Witches’s law.

And then…he went into dormancy. A slumber that would only break when the Beasts broke free of their seal. And they would break free.

He still needed to punish them, after all.

Eventually, the Army spread out across Earthbread, becoming several separate factions. One of which would eventually become the St. Pastry Order.

And the rest…is history.

-

behold, a terrible person

oh he sounds horrible(in a good way), am I allowed to punt him?/pos

also what the heck did he do to the beasts? I'm rather interested in that, as well as how he had a hand in breaking Gleaming Oil Cookie.

[athomewiththecicadas]

Life as a Senior NCO for a Head of Household that can't Provide, during Morning Coffee.

So all of these head honchos that are the hotshots.

They get to meet my weapons system. And we'll see why Sergeant First Class is "the Senior."

The Cookie Monster is "Head of Household."

Let's get him to meet "the height." And he's gonna teach all the girls how to be military officers.

Now that would have him.

"Miss Americana" didn't measure up to her girlfriends?

So "Taylor Guitars" can start with the "American Beauty Pageant," and the "women's dressing room." And when she finds the Universities are the split between Staff Sergeant and Sergeant First Class, they'll get some hands on experience with what it takes just to "see." And then she can figure out my "price" is not such a bad deal after all.

"It was her, and I would have her. And it's not just that I was a 25 year old boyfriend that was hot." (* And if that's not good enough, I'll sic Troy Aikman on you.)

Sergeant Major Nathan Marksmith, North Wales Militia/ Joint Militia Detachment Brigade (Virginia Militia Association)

--------

Oh .... Look at this. They are having so many problems.

Someone call up the State Department to invite the King of England. Because the President is having an Attorney General.

Listen to him. $40 isn't that cheap. Even make a special advertisement.

You want to know how Capital Group got started? I was a Sergeant First Class and was awarded merit for "best dressed" and "good behavior." Which you know the Army calls that a paid.

And afterwards I took up "small business." Compiling a portfolio of small businesses with a small "private equity," which is the correct term, to marry all of these small businesses and training start ups.

Some what similar to a Real Estate Investment Trust, or REIT.

-------

Okay, the President is struggling with "China." And how the economy is too weak to handle when the workforce breaks off from business facilitation.

And that's where it gets a little too personal with Shareholders and employers.

And that gets you right back to the Central Banks, and dress code. Which is directly related to minimum wage law.

Now, if you remember correctly, I struggled for years to point out that we are having an issue with extensive growth related to the new minimum wage law. And if I can't secure the investment I need, we're going to have a market bubble. And it could be the size of a market bust.

And the excuse was always: "You guys don't have the name to get that kind of investment."

And because of that, all I have to do is sit on a bill that says: "You're gonna need it."

Which turns out to every excuse in the world is out spending the simple fact that minimum wage also increases labor costs for general welfare.

Yeah, we need to spend more money on purchasing for what we use, but my complaint is still the size of payrolls.

-------

I'll say it again, none of you actually qualify traditional PT for $2 million. As far as capabilities, I'm off.

But then you get into espionage, confusing who is who.

And even though it doesn't really need $2.3 million, I'll admit it touches it.

However, in all fairness, if I was to go back and review enumerations with my Executive Officer, you would see there is plenty of room already for demotions. Because, none of this qualifies Physical Fitness standards to begin with.

And, I, as Senior NCO, have issued enumerations that still fall within your qualifications for the stated regulation.

If there is still an issue that must be reviewed, the White House can review the United Nation's "pact for the future."

If you are assuming that I, as Senior NCO, am assuming a position that is too arrogant, then you should address the claim I issued for this gaping hole in General Welfare.

-------

If you want to go back and review the wording. I'm addressing the elasticity of these claims addressed to Congress. Where the counter part is directly affiliated with posted Tax Laws. Which is still your job.

Otherwise the elasticity of a Militia, Necessary to the Security of a Free State is then relavant.

It's posted. Military Asset.

[queenscharacters]

"I'm just having an off day, I'll be fine." Ellery to Hunter

The sight of Ellery’s tears would never fail to cause Hunter agony. He was positive any more pain unto himself would break him, but he would take all of his girlfriend’s if he could. She didn’t deserve this. Neither of them did, but especially not her. He hated knowing that the two of them were suffering far more than the monsters that did this to them were. He refused to acknowledge them as his parents anymore.

Ellery was supposed to be 38 weeks along with Cookie today. She was supposed to be the one on baby watch of her sisters in law. Hunter was supposed to be teasing her about how big she was now, while also being a nervous wreck. They were supposed to be counting contractions and calling their doctor any time they thought it was time. It wasn’t fair. And when he caught Ellery looking at herself in the mirror with tear filled eyes, he knew that was exactly what she was thinking about.

Had she been triggered by the news of Raven and Elliot’s false alarm with the twins? Hunter didn’t know. Quite frankly, he didn’t care. All he knew was that the girl he loved wasn’t fine; she said she would be, but that didn’t mean she was now. Hell, he wasn’t okay himself. The weeks leading up to what would be their due date sucked. He couldn’t stop wondering what life would be like if their child hadn’t been taken from them.

“Oh, baby,” Hunter was choked up and even clearing his throat couldn’t steady his voice, “Come here.” He tugged on her wrist gently before guiding her arms into the tightest hug he could muster between them. The moment she was snug in his embrace, her cries turned to sobs for their daughter. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, but he was shaking almost as much as her.

“I miss her, too.” He whispered. It was crazy how much he missed someone he never physically met, but he did. He wasn’t sure he would ever stop missing Cookie. “I wish she was still here so much. There’s nothing I would give to turn back time and make sure she still was.”

But she wasn’t. Neither of them had to say it, but they were both thinking it.

It took a couple of steadying breaths before Hunter could stop his own tears and will himself to look his girlfriend in the eyes, but he did. Well, he did as much as Ellery could meet his gaze. “One day we’re going to experience everything the way we should have with Cookie.” His lip quivered as he said her name.

“And we’re going to have the happiest, craziest, most perfect family in spite of this. We’re going to honor her that way, because that’s the legacy she started, okay? That’s what we would have given her if she was still here; and that’s what I still want to give you when we’re ready.” Gently, Hunter used his thumbs to brush away stray tears from Ellery’s face. He tried to smile, even if the expression was more bitter than anything else. “And I don’t think that’s really up for debate, Celery.”

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #096

(taken january 1st; uploading surveys taken while gone)

What is the best part of your life? I don't like that this is my answer, but Girt. Still working on my favorite part of my life being just myself and who I am and stuff...

Do you care about gun laws? I care VERY fucking much about gun laws and how fucking necessary it is to make firearms SO much less accessible.

Would you ever consider getting a facial piercing? I've had multiple and want to get my nostril re-pierced. Possibly some around my eye area IF I ever don't need glasses at some point in the future, but this is insanely unlikely because I hate contacts and don't care enough to get lasik surgery.

Do you listen to '80s metal? Haha hell yeah, '80s metal has a special place in my heart. I'm not as into classic rock/metal as I was in high school, but I absolutely still do love it and will happily listen to it.

Do you like acoustic or electric guitar better? Electric, absolutely. I just LOVE the sound of an electric guitar, mmf.

What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh.

Have you taken a painkiller today? Yes actually, I've been having tooth pain since my dentist appointment a good few days back and eventually really needed something.

Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? Nope, I hate coffee and I hate anything pumpkin-flavored.

Are you currently in a relationship? If so, do you think it will last? Yes, and complete, total honesty, yes, I do.

Have you ever been camping in the wilderness? No. I'd be totally willing to in an RV or something, but not a basic tent; I'd honestly be too nervous and also I know EXTREMELY uncomfortable, I don't handle being down on the floor well *at all* with my current physical shape.

Did your parents go to college? If so, what did they study? My dad didn't; I actually don't think he even finished high school? Mom did, for social work, but of course her cancer and Covid stopped her from getting a chance to intern somewhere and eventually get a job, even though she got her degree... That remains such, such a sore spot for her, and it breaks my heart. I just can't imagine being so close to what you wanted and then circumstances outside your control just ruin it.

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Haha honestly probably the original Silent Hill. The first time I played it with Jason, it twisted my mind into fuckin knots and it took a loooot of online reading and video-watching to make sense of it. I was hooked immediately.

Would you pay if your dog needed an operation? In the hypothetical situation that I had the money to save Cookie, of course I would. My mom loves her so much.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store? A big container of literal fursuit heads lmfao, Wal-Mart is a lawless wasteland

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? No.

What states have you been to in the past year? I never left NC.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No, but it's a dream to rescue and raise an opossum one day.

Who did you last talk to in Facebook chat? Girt, very briefly. He just sent me a video.

What do you think of guys wearing colored skinny jeans? Guys, and everyone else, can wear whatever the fuck they want.

Would you ever get blonde highlights? Nah.

Will you go to your high school reunion? Hell no.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? Well for the most part my mom has been very accepting of letting me adopt the pets I want so long as it's a reasonable time and we can provide for it, but there's one type of pet I've desperately wanted for multiple years now, tarantulas, but she absolutely refuses to let me have any while I live with her, lol.

Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? Yup, most strongly the last time I was at the psych hospital. There was a man that regularly acted EXTREMELY predatory and I could not fucking believe how lenient the staff was at just letting him do his creepy fucking thing. I finally snapped the last day I was there because of this guy and sincerely feared I was about to be assaulted.

What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had? I have no idea; I have fevers so incredibly rarely.

One thing you promised yourself you’d never do and then did? Be able to love anybody again after Jason. I was so, so, so fucking positive that it was absolutely impossible.

Have you ever had to call 911? Twice for my mom, yes. I feel like I may be forgetting a third instance...

Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? To be honest I don't know many of his current friends; we had a lot of mutual friends in HS, but both of us have really drifted away from them. His best friend Taylor currently lives with him, whom I've met before and gotten on with fine, but we don't really interact much; even at Girt's house, he has his own room and does his own thing in there most of the time. I've sorta interacted with some gaming friends of his before, and apparently they really like me and I think they seem nice too, so I guess you could say I do "get along" with them.

Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I try VERY hard not to, but if not going is seriously going to impact my comfort, then yes I'm going to use one.

What is something that you do often with your family? Nothing, honestly...

Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? YES!!!

Do you need a haircut? I'm ready for a trim, yes. I know I'm ready once my hair starts regularly tickling my neck.

What is the most expensive gift you have ever given someone? The promise ring I got Sara LMFAO oops, that was a terrible choice

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yes, I know I have with Summer as well as once with Jason on my 16th birthday.

Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. I try to avoid killing them.

Do you like animal print things? I don't.

Do you have any pets that you had since you were born? Oh definitely not. The dog my parents had when I was born died before I was even one, I think. I have zero memories of her.

Are all your pets micro chipped? I highly doubt Crystal ever micro-chipped Cookie, seeing as she came with her collar. Roman also isn't; he wears a collar, too. Venus is a snake so obviously this doesn't apply to her. ... Unless snakes can be micro-chipped?? idk

Would you ever cope in a jail? No; full transparency, I would kill myself, and I know that with pretty much absolute certainty.

Have you ever seen an alligator in person? Yes; multiple times at the zoo and at least once in the wild, though I'm pretty much positive it was an alligator that escaped the local (and very nearby) zoo that had recently been destroyed by Hurricane Floyd.

Are you a liberal? I honestly don't know if that titles totally fits me, but I can tell you I am way, way more politically left than anywhere near right.

Were you fearless or a coward in the face of the child hunter in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? OH MY GOOOOOOOD I forgot about him, he absolutely scared me, lol.

Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I wish I was exaggerating, but I IMMEDIATELY hit a curb. In the fucking parking lot where I started, lmfao.

Have you or a pet ever gotten a tapeworm? *I* would rather fucking die than have a tapeworm; when I was younger, I was always SO paranoid I'd somehow gotten one. I've always been absolutely petrified of internal parasites. I've never had a pet with one, either. Thank fucking god because I would puke.

Do you know any furries? Yes; the roommates Jason and I housed with in the apartment were both furries. Jacob is still my friend (at least, we're on each other's FBs and will rarely interact), but he broke up with Amanda maaaaany years ago, and I never spoke to her afterwards.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I rarely snore, but I know I do move a lot and absolutely steal the covers; Girt is also a blanket hog though so I'm very thankful I got a bigger comforter for Christmas, haha.

Is the lion the best character in The Wizard of Oz? I think I liked the scarecrow most.

Would you immediately look for someone right after you broke up with your bf/gf? No; it would absolutely take a lot of time to get over Girt.

Have you ever studied any new age or occult religions such as Wicca? I've researched them to some extent, yes.

Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed? I am the most bottom motherfucker you will ever meet so do the math lmfao BUT I will add there is absolutely such a thing as being too aggressive to where I'm not into it.

Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? No. I only "help" my mom watch my sister's kids because she's the primary caregiver and the one who really handles things. I'm just there to engage with the kids when they want to.

Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? Well we haven't been friends for many years, but I thought Colleen's father-in-law was SUPER fucking creepy, and turns out he had gross sexual tendencies anyway.

Who did you last have over your house, and why were they there? Tobey came for dinner a few nights ago.

Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most? I only live with my mom, and we've been doing fine. She got under my skin last night, but I'm over it.

Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No.

If something was wrong who is the first girl you would go to? My mom.

What do you dislike about your smile? I feel like my eyes squint too much and I just look high.

Have you ever kissed in the snow? I don't believe I have.

Have you ever liked a football player? No. Jocks have never been my thing.

Has the last person you kissed taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? NO.

When was your first kiss? It was like a month into me being 16.

What’s your most popular post? On my old Tumblr it would pretty much definitely be the gif I made of Markiplier and his dog Chica that basically went viral in the fanbase.

Is anyone in your family over six feet tall? I'm quite positive my brother is, at least. Maybe my dad, idk.

Has anyone lost their virginity to you? No.

What improvement would be the most beneficial to your life right now? My legs recovering would probably be it. It severely affects so many areas of my life. I'm finally getting better about using the bike, though...

Have you ever merged finances with a significant other? No.

What’s the least amount you’ve weighed since reaching your full height? Uh, somewhere around 120, which I woulda fucking killed to be again for years until I semi-recently learned my very base adult weight is like 160; going below that would, for my basic body composition, be emaciation. How the hell a scale told the doctor that, I don't know, I just trust them with the explanation that the scale was thousands of dollars and just super advanced.

What were your high school’s team colors? Red and white.

Who were your best friends in high school? Jason, Hannia, Girt, Summer... I had a good number of close friends.

Have you ever been to Chicago? If yes, what do you like best about it? Once, when I visited Sara. It was just so, SO different from what I'm used to; I don't generally like cities, but visiting one briefly was nevertheless super cool. I just liked all the lights and activity, and seeing how tall the Willis Tower really is. Like even craning your neck fully back, you can't see the top.

Are you close with your cousins? Nope.

Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also no, not really.

What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Uh, probably swim if a pool was available and it was a good time of year. I liked doing a variety of things, like playing pretend, too.

Does your town have a big fountain in it? Yeah, we have a city park not far from here that has a fountain in the lake.

What’s your favorite rock band? SOBS Rammstein if that's the genre you wanna put 'em in.

Who’s your favorite country singer? I tend to like Tim McGraw songs, but I think Carrie Underwood has the best voice out of the country vocalists I've heard.

Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; my hair was dirty blonde as a kid.

[stawby-robo-lover]

Pancake Cookie should NOT be allowed to slay!!! He is already too powerful!! He defies the laws of physics!!!! The ones dad says I'm not allowed to break but definitely could!!!!!

anyway we're in parfaedia

[thecatchat]

Random dimensions thoughts

Ksq: fusion. Karl and Sapnap create a very polite sounding fusion, also constantly waxes poetry about fire and Quackity's eyes. Quackity and Karl created crazy man with more quick wit and silver tounge than anyone else, also calls Sapnap all the pet names and is vaguely more open with their feelings than Q is normally. Quackity and Sapnap create a vigilante type person, combining personal freedom and "screw the law" with being trained to protect people. Also has become Karl's ultimate guard dog.

All three at once creates a mental breakdown.

Quackity thinks the K'n'S combo should not be allowed to be that sweet and dorky and also hot at the same time. Sapnap finds himself unable to do anything but melt (himself and whatever he's holding) at the quick and clever compliments and sweet talk being thrown at him. Karl is a little worried for their sanities but enjoys being doted on and protected even if he doesn't need it.

The more I think about this the more I want to start writing it but it's 1 AM.

------ names

Dynamite or maybe Firework: Karl and Sapnap fusion, loves fire and Quackity, will do anything to protect others, instead of metal armor he wears leather armor with splatters of color that look like flames, has a sword but had a much looser and more unpredictable technique but you can tell he knows what he's doing, Sapnap's protective tendencies plus Karl's disregard for personal health and safety equal a person who's ready to protect themselves and others at near all costs, very physically affectionate, likes to keep Q within arms length at all times, very romantic at random times like they can wax beautiful poetry about Q while they're just hanging out or in the middle of a fight and they just have to tell Quackity that exact second.

Wit or Clever: Quackity and Karl, so many slang words and languages you can't understand anything they're saying, less physically affectionate but constantly complimenting or other affectionate words at Sapnap, knows exactly what to say (like 99% of the time), is very into doing Crime at all times for no reason, breaks into apartments, steals a Llama from the zoo, starting bar fights, why? "I'm bored/Why not?", wears a brightly colored pinstripe suit and the coat goes down the their knees, kinda like a ring leader at a circus, very friendly and makes friends quickly (by becoming a friend you accept that they may ask your help hiding from police, baking cookies, or other possibly life threatening situations. Terms and conditions apply.)

Judgment: Quackity and Sapnap, has the wings and the horns, Karl Will Not Be Hurt During This Time, it's not a statement, it's a threat, if they see crime they give it one chance to stop before fighting it, gun and wings for long range and sword and fire for short range, very good at fighting, very polite and charismatic, diplomatic, affectionate kinda stalls out here other than "I will kill for you. Look, I just did!", not sure on the outfit, maybe athletic wear?

@inkytrinket-irii

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[banditchika]

I came across your really old kotohonoumi harry potter au headcanons and I'm super curious about how you'll sort the rest of muse! Can I just mention I absolutely love the tiny hufflepuff!eli detail you slid in because that's my headcanon for her house too ahshdhshsjsjs

HI SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY the ask notification got buried under a lot of stuff :,D ill b rlly real here n admit that i had to reread these headcanons just bc its been so long since i wrote them LMAO life moves fast!! i think id end up sorting the other girls like this though: 

eli: hufflepuff. eli defies easy sorting, which is why i rlly love her!! she’s one of those characters where you could argue a p good case for her to be in any of the houses n there’ll b plenty of material to back you up. but my favorite house for her is hufflepuff bc she’s just.... such a dad... she belongs there among the badgers. i don’t consider eli particularly courageous in the way that gryff exemplifies bc she loves to dither over things and has Anxiety: Idol Fest, and for all that she’s a nerd i don’t think she’s much of a ravenclaw either. so tender-hearted, hardworking n upright eli for hufflepuff!! she might seem like a cool hardass on the outside but rlly, in her heart she’s always having a butterbeer and chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen alongside hanayo. eli, by the by, probably inherits the magic from her grandma and grows up treasuring the stories that her grandma passes on.

nico: slytherin. she’s,,,,, such a slytherin?? burning w ambition yeah n full of cunning ideas, but she’s also extremely loyal to those she considers her friends n family. she’s hardworking n has an unrelenting sense of personal values too!! good big sis nico yazawa whose also unashamed of wanting something beautiful for herself and owning her dreams.... i love HER!! she’s a muggleborn constantly punching up to make a space for herself in the wizarding world

nozomi: also slytherin. i feel like other ppl have written rlly lovely things ab nozomi being a slytherin kid n why it works so my ultimate breakdown would just be: im gay, i like it, n im not separating nozonico, now or ever!! i also don’t think that nozomi’s a pureblood, but like eli, she definitely has magic in her family--particularly a talent for divination. she befriended nico in their first year on the hogwarts express n was rlly shy n goofy n awkward, which nico thought was rlly charming. then they got sorted into the same house n became roommates, n then nico broke through personality proxy one n 2 to unlock the Deep Nozomi (tm). she complains that she regrets it every day, but she doesn’t. she doesn’t in the least. 

maki: ravenclaw. i don’t think i’m qualified enough to rlly go into why, but i don’t think i need to either. what a nerdy kid!! of course she’d be in ravenclaw. im rlly attached to the concept of her being the muggleborn heiress to a prestigious hospital n having to juggle between her love of muggle physical sciences and the bizarre scientific laws that govern the wizarding world. she can bond w kotori over being torn btw two worlds!! (edit: i just realized that maki’s all alone in ravenclaw, which actually suits me just fine?? maki kind of seems like the person to easily get lonely once she realizes that she has Friends n that they don’t share a lot of time together, so i think her being the only ravenclaw in muse could b the catalyst that eventually pushes her out of her shell n leads to her doing smth rlly out of character in her eyes n admitting that she loves n treasures her friends) she ends up being head girl in her last year n is so awkward about it

hanayo: hufflepuff. hanayo, like eli, has moments of courage n when push comes to shove will chase her dreams n ambitions against the odds, but the thing is that i don’t think she aspires to bravery?? the way i read her focus episodes in the anime was that she was stepping out of her comfort zone, but that she was glad to do it too and that she was proud of herself for it; it’s a quiet sort of drive and focus that suits hufflepuff more than gryffindor. i think it’d be cute if hanayo were ravenclaw so that she could hold maki’s hand in the library and stuff, but listen. listen. hufflepuff hanayo? is good. idk what hanayo’s backstory should be, bc the wizarding world doesn’t exactly have an equivalent for school idols and her backstory is constantly in flux depending on which love live medium you choose to consume. it’d be rlly hilarious if both she n nico were die hard quidditch fans tho 

rin: gryffindor. she’s a brave, brave girl!!! one moment that rlly cemented rin as a gryffindor for me was when she was ready to throw hands n fist fight maki, a complete stranger, just bc she thought that maki was intruding onto what rin considered to be hanayo’s decision in the s1 first year’s episode!! what a gryffindor mood?? i also think she’d rlly jive w hufflepuff, tho not enough for her to be considered for the house. she’s the second gryffindor chaser n becomes captain once umi graduates!! i put her as the seeker initially, but ultimately i don’t think rin would care to spend like, 90% of the game flying around doing nothing but squinting for some tiny golden ball. she wants to fly around and participate with the team!! im p set on her being a muggleborn; hanayo’s probably from a magic family n breaks rules to talk to rin ab magic, n when they were kids rin would listen to hanayo gushing ab all the stuff she loves ab the wizarding world while wishing that she could b w hanayo in that universe; well guess what rin!! ur a wizard!!

[fuck-labels-i-am-a-unicorn]

This is not about public displays of sexual activities.

This is about people thinking that a "greasy kid" will grow into something bad as if there was a rule for it.

This is about thinking shaming and bullying a kid is "contributing to society"!

Well newsflash: Puberty can be hella confusing for a lot of kids, especially if they don't fit the mold and even younger children can be cruel as long as you're in their age group!

And suddenly popular kids that have an easier time fitting in are shaming the kids that don't even know themself yet, let alone why everyone is painting a fucking target on them when they've never hurt anybody!

It doesn't even need much!

A kid hasn't the grip on personal hygiene yet? Suddenly everyone thinks they're entitled to make fun of them!

A kid is socially awkward and cautious?Well strap on, because this is going to be a wild ride.They can reek your fear after all!

A kid has a problem with speaking right?Maybe just a tiny weird pronunciation?The older kids won't care that it may comes from a problem with hearing, and suddenly a second grader has to hear mean questioning comments about their heritage because they happen to have dark hair and "why else would they speak soo weird?"

A boy likes SpongeBob and is too chubby to make a masculine impression otherwise?They don't care that he's sweet and doesn't hurt anybody, they just don't like that he's different as they're told to be and ostracize him as if he doesn't even exist.

A kid has social anxiety and tends to keep to themself?Their fears only get stronger for being labeled the "creepy kid" and treated as such.

Somebody is the only girl in the class but aren't really acting as they expect girls to?Suddenly every single one of them thinks that she is "not trying enough" and are harsh critics of her personal style.

A kid is poor and doesn't tend to wear anything that's from a designer or simply in trend?Maybe even baggy clothing that doesn't fit well? Look above!

A socially awkward Kid comes from a psychological or physical abusive household and tends to keep their emotions bottled up?The minute they break out, there isn't a big comfort party like the popular ones tend to have but helpful comments like "they're just acting, they never cry like they're some robot." or "they just want attention", which is like giving a fucking extra punch into their stomach for having emotions.

Any minority at all?What do you think?

The cards are literally stacked against anyone that doesn't fit the cookie-cutter that society chooses for them!

You know what bullying does to these kids?

"force them to fit in?"

Are you dense?

It sends them into therapy, because they can't fucking sit in a classroom without feeling like a rabbit in a lions cave!

It makes them depressed or even suicidal because they hear that shit so often that they start believing it!

It makes them even more socially awkward because all their fears came fucking true!

If you're shaming a kid for being different, and let us cut the crap here because that's literally the fucking translation behind "greasy" OP, than you're part of the problem and not the fucking solution!

Make jokes all you want, children and teens are still developing!Of course they're fucking sensitive!

And you know what?Taking something breakable and "working" on it with a hammer doesn't tend to make it any less breakable! Shocking, isn't it?!

I can't stand it when people think that bullying and shaming kids is excusable, let alone something that's "needed of society"

That's disgusting!

I'm not saying that the world is happy sunshine and rainbows, but hurting kids isn't preparing them for growing up either!

It just makes them think that getting hurt is a thing others are allowed to do to them, which is wrong on so many levels!

Humans always like to praise how much better they are then animals, but their kids still have to life after the law of the strongest because it's good for society? Are you kidding me!?

society needs shame. if you dont embarrass weird greasy kids in high school they turn into adults who walk their girlfriends around on dog leashes in the mall