#I'm blind carl not stupid

[olsenmyolsen]

This Is Me Trying - Three - (A Y/N Parker Spider-Woman X Kate Bishop Story)

masterlist

Summary: You and The Hawkeyes get ambushed as Kate meets The Spider

Word Count: 3.8K

Content: Guns, Shooting, Violence, Flirty Kate Bishop, Clint being protective

Your Y/N Tingle, as Peter so annoyingly called it.

You landed on a billboard and scanned your eyes around until the hairs on your body stood up.

It was another group of Tracksuits cornering a man.

"Please just take the car!" The guy yelled just loud enough that one of the four poorly dressed men raised his fist and connected to the man's abdomen.

"The city that never sleeps." You mumbled as you leisurely swung your way to the top of the car. Startling the whole crew.

"You know, fellas, I think there's better ways to get a car. Ever tried Uber?"

"Can it Spider-Girl!" A man barked at you, making you roll your eyes under your mask. "I was just asking. I've never used it." You gestured to your web shooter, making the guy look before you fired a web at his face, blinding him.

"Shit!" One of the three other guys called out.

"You know!" You jumped off the car to dodge an attacker with a crowbar. "Since you're all dressed the same, I'm gonna give you guys different names. Okay?" You asked, but no one gave an opinion as they charged at you.

You sighed and went to work catching the fist of the guy with a long grey beard. "Okay, you're Smokey." You said as you webbed his fist together and kicked him into a nearby dumpster. "One down."

The following two guys, each sporting a faded hairstyle, charged you together. One with ginger hair, the other blonde. "Would Ketchup and Mustard be too easy or not good enough?" You asked as you redirected Ketchups crowbar swing to hit Mustard in the back. Making Mustard miss his kick at your leg but giving you enough time to web his foot to the ground as you jumped over the two. Webbing the crowbar and flinging it down the alley.

"Huh?" Mustard asked as his foot didn't move after barely recovering from the hit. "Oh, here!" You said as you webbed his other foot to the ground, making him wide-eyed. "Ketchup! Get her!" He yelled, causing the other guy to tilt his head, confused. "But that's not my-"

You knocked him out in one punch.

"You know I actually hold back when I fight." You told Smokey, who sat on the ground with back pain thanks to the dumpster. "Whatever." He muttered, earning a shrug from you.

"You whatever," You mumbled back as you looked at Mustard and pushed him, causing him to fall over, thanks to his webbed feet.

"That's enough!" The man who you blinded with your web finally tore it off. "Oh hey!" You waved as he pulled out a gun. "You've caused enough problems!" He shouted at you as he cocked back the pistol. "This might not be the right thing to say, but trust me, I know.." He looked at you. "You see, I have an essay due on-"

"ENOUGH!"

He fired a shot into the air before pointing back down at you. You could hear the screams and hushed whispers of the people around this city block.

"Hey, let's put the gun down."

You put your hands up as he turned the gun to the side. "I don't think so." He turned the gun away from you and to the man lying on the snow-covered asphalt—the owner of the vehicle.

The owner looked from the gun to you with fear in his eyes. "Please..." You gave a little nod his way.

Internally, you named him Carl.

"Don't do anything stupid." The man with the gun.. let's call... Dean said. "I won't." You replied back. You kept your eyes in the direction of Dean, but behind the mask, your eyes were searching for protection for the car owner.

A tire a few feet away would have to do.

"I'm really sorry about this." You said, confusing both men. Without another wasted second, you webbed past the car owner. Your web sticking to the tire as you pulled it towards you,

Dean fired his gun.

The bullets began ricocheting over the rim of the wheel or getting stuck in the rubber of the tire as they flew past Carl's head.

With your other hand, you webbed the gun free from Dean's hand and sent it flying backward into Smokey's head, knocking him out.

Now free of the gun, you jumped and twirled in the air to add speed to the momentum of the tire before letting go as you flung it at Dean.

The tire bounced off the cold ground and right into his standing body, sending him flying a few feet away. The tire kept going until it collapsed down the alleyway.

Dean hit the snow with a heavy thud.

He was out.

You landed on the ground and let out a breath.

"I-I thought- I thought I was dead," Carl spoke up after a moment of silence, garnering your attention.

You took cautious steps and crouched in front of him. He sat on the ground shaking. The snow in the air added a quiet bubble between you and him.

"Hey, it's okay. You're here, man. You're here." Carl reached forward for your hand.

You extended it and helped him to his feet.

"You save-saved me!" He took in his surroundings before looking at you. You shrugged. "It's all in a day's work."

Carl shook his head and patted your shoulders.

"I get to go home to my wife because of you."

You weren't going to lie. That did feel good to hear. But even as a spider-based superhero, you still aren't the best at taking compliments.

"Ummm, the police should be here any moment. Okay?" Carl nodded. "Just get home safe."

"You too, Spider-Woman!" He cheered. "Just The Spider is fine." You laughed under your mask and started walking backwards. "You got it, Spider!" Carl shouted as you webbed up the passed-out goons.

"Merry Christmas! Well- uh- if you celebrate!" You shouted as you zipped onto a fire escape before flinging yourself to another roof.

Carl watched in astonishment and clapped. "You too!"

As you hung in the air, let out a breath and collected your thoughts. Getting shot at was never going to be an easy thing just to have happen.

You let out another web and launched yourself into the air, adding a little spin into your release. Your web reached another building, but before you could twhip yourself up, your tingle started going crazy, and before even thinking about it, your body twirled over to avoid an arrow.

Wait, an arrow??

You webbed it up and quickly looked around.

Your eyes eventually found the man you loved to annoy.

Clint Barton on a roof waving at you.

You smiled and let your feet hit the snowy roof with glee. "Hawkeye!" You actually called him by his hero name for once, surprising the man.

"Spider!" He called back as he took the arrow from your hand before looking at the webbing with disgust. "Does this stuff come out of you?"

You tilted your head. "Ew, no!" Clint tried pulling the webbing off the arrow but failed. "It'll dissolve soon." He glared at you. "Hey! You shot at me!"

Clint couldn't argue with you there.

"Why did you shoot at me?" You asked with a smile behind your mask. You didn't get to meet a lot of heroes doing this job.

"Well, honestly..." Clint sighed. "I wanted some information."

"Oh?" You said, surprised. "About?"

You walked past Clint and sat on the roof's ledge while looking at the rugged man. He sighed. "About that building?"

He pointed past you and to the building across the way. It was one you recognized from Ned's discovery. "What girlfriend kick you out?" You joked as you pulled out your phone to text Ned.

Ned sat in your room on the computer. Peter was lying on the floor, throwing a crumbled-up piece of paper to himself. They both had just finished their robotics report for the week and were decompressing.

Outside the room in the living room, MJ was napping with a bowl of Alfredo pasta turned over on the floor. It had fallen when she turned over earlier.

A game show was playing on the TV.

MJ only watched game shows by herself.

"Is that Y/N?" Peter asked when Ned's phone chimed. "Yeah," Ned replied after looking at your text. "What does she want?"

Peter got up and walked up to Ned, sending files and pictures to you. "Just information." He replied, making Peter tilt his head. "Information? About?"

Ned wasn't sure if he should lie or not, but thankfully, he didn't have to say anything when you sent a selfie of you and Clint Barton looking annoyed in the background. Followed by a text: "Hawkeye is bossy."

"Did you really say that?" Clint whined when he asked, making you laugh.

"No, of course not." You lied to the archer and smiled when you got the dump of information from Ned. You sent a quick thank you text and once again ignored Peter's text about doing school work despite the fact that you were hanging out with an ex-Avenger!

"Here." You flipped your phone over and showed Clint the info you had on the buildings. "So you really are tracking them too," Clint said, making you roll your eyes. "I have no reason to lie, arrow guy." You paused. "Hey, that rhymed!"

Now, it was Clint's turn to roll his eyes.

You put your phone away as Clint turned his head and looked at the building. "So... what's your plan? To just stay here and wait for something to happen?"

Clint moved his shoulders up and down. "Kinda."

You huffed and sat down on the snowy roof. You frowned as you immediately regretted it because you'd have to wash this suit next. "That's lame."

Clint chuckled.

You looked around the roof. "Hey, where's number two?" You asked, looking up to number one. "I'm starting to think they're not real."

"Oh, they're real." The older man said. "Look."

You looked to where he gestured, and through one of the broken-out windows on the building across the street, you saw a chick dressed in purple point her bow and arrow in your direction. "Oh, so she is real!" You looked from Clint back to the girl.

"So should we move?" You stood up. "That arrow is pointed directly at us!" Clint laughed. "I would if I were you."

"What does that me-?" Your body flipped itself out of the way as the arrow flew by you and plunged itself into the brick wall of the roof behind you.

Attach at the end of it was a giant black cable that got yanked up with a force on the other side, creating a zip line across.

"Was she aiming for me?!"

"Probably," Clint responded like it was no big deal. "You coming?" He asked as he attached himself to the zip line and clicked on a flashlight. Something you noticed the girl in the window do as well.

You look from him to the building where the girl was waving from.

You waved back. "I could've just swung you over there." You pointed out to number one. "Yeah, but if I broke another bone because of someone else, my wife would then probably kick me out."

You guess you could see the logic in that.

"Wait, you're married!?" That piece of news finally hit you.

"Happily. See you over there." Clint stated as he started making his way across.

You looked from Clint back to the building again.

You've never really done team-ups, but this was happening naturally. You and the two Hawkeyes were all on the same trail of crime. You all knew where it was potentially leading, so the more help wasn't something to shake your head at.

So when Clint looked back over to you when he was halfway across, you made your decision.

With one twhip, you beat Clint across and squeeze through a window to find yourself in front of Hawkeye number two.

But never in a hundred years would you have guessed who it would be.

"Hi!"

Her voice was the exact same, and the way her face scrunched when she looked at you full of glee was something that made your stomach flip with butterflies.

Kate Bishop stood in front of you in a purple ensemble with her bow in one hand and a quiver of arrows on her back.

Aside from the suit, you noticed that Kate had her hair down. She was wearing a purple beanie.

She looked cuter than ever.

Her cheeks were pink from the cold. You could also see a fresh coat of lip balm was recently applied to her lips. Lips that looked soft as- "I can't believe I'm with the Spider!"

She broke you out from your thoughts as she cheered in front of you.

"I'm Kate Bishop, Hawkeye." She extended her hand and waited for you to shake it. "Y/-Uhh I-" You fumbled over your words as you extended your hand. "The uh-" You went wide-eyed.

Your voice!

She couldn't recognize your voice!

You started shaking Kate's hand before making your voice deeper. Not a cartoony amount, but just enough where Kate would definitely know that The Spider is a lesbian.

Ya know?

"T-The Spider!" Yet you still stuttered in front of your crush, causing your face to go completely warm.

The need to rip your mask off to breathe normally was rearing its head.

"Sorry for shooting at you, by the way!! I just wanted to see if you really had it!" Kate said as she dropped your hand with excitement.

"It?" You questioned.

"You know the..." Kate acted out your acrobatic movements, all while her two feet remained on the ground. "Your dodgy spider thing." She smiled as she spoke.

Kate Bishop was the exact same.

You couldn't believe it.

A smile was on your face behind the mask.

"My Spidey sense." You said, making Kate's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh! Cool!" She nodded to her own words as she bit her bottom lip.

Something so innocent was making you blush.

So you turned around and started walking along the floor of the building just as Clint FINALLY came through the window. "I'm getting too old for this shit." He said as he unclipped himself from the zipline.

"Spider," Clint called out as you looked back. "Kate. Spider. Just in case this one was too star-struck to say anything."

That made you listen.

Kate looked at Clint, embarrassed. "No! No! He's joking! Like it's not true! I mean, I like you but- not like that! Like, I admire you... From afar! Ya know? Wait, that's not right!"

Clint covered Kate's mouth as you stood there, shocked at the jumble of words spilling from your crush's mouth.

"She admires you as a hero. Just forget she said anything." Clint said as he removed his hand. "Yes. Thank you, Clint." Kate nodded but avoided eye contact with you.

You just nodded back and grinned widely under the mask. "Well, thank you, Kate."

Kate tilted her head and looked your way.

"You said my name. The Spider said my name." She whispered loudly to herself before starting into the distance.

"Well, enough of... that," Clint said. "Kate, did you find anything?"

Kate nodded and singled for you and Clint to follow.

"Every floor was either empty or left to rot. And this one was the same until..." She stopped in the hallway of what you now recognize as an apartment building door and shined a light on the door.

It looked a lot like Aunt Mays. 

Kate pushed the door open. As it creaked to a stop, one by one, the archers and you stepped inside. The apartment looked lived in. Boxes and tables were removed from dust where others still had it sit. A bed was in the corner of one room, where a work bench and whiteboards riddled with equations and words sat in the corner of another.

"Somone lives here?" Clint asked to no one in particular.

"Lived." Kate held up a notebook left behind on the coffee table and started reading from it.

"I've done all that has been asked of me, and yet he keeps asking for more. I'm afraid of what will happen if I say no. But with the recent news of his disappearance, maybe I have a chance. Now is my time. I'm smarter than this. And if they come for this place-"

"It stops there. No more entries after that." Kate looks from you to Clint, who grabs the notebook and flips through it before returning to that final page. "This was written almost a year ago."

You take a few steps closer. "His dissapearance." You repeated. Making the other two look at you. "Yeah?" Kate asked as you thought about the words.

"Who owns the buildings? Who disappeared a year ago and is creeping up our backs. Powerful enough to have people go into hiding."

Clint sighed.

Kate knew.

"Kingpin." You snapped your finger and nodded; you went to say more, but your phone started to buzz. "Oh.." You picked up to see Ned's caller ID.

"One moment." You said, making Kate look at you a little differently.

Clint returned to the notebook and started to take pictures before combing over the place.

You took the phone into the other room and clicked the side of your mask. "What??" You asked in a hushed whisper. "Where are you?" Ned asked as he looked at live camera footage of a group of Tracksuits exiting a car.

"In a what we now know is an abandoned building."

"Okay, well I have- wait we?!" Ned asked as he took his eyes away from the computer screen. "Yes, me and the Hawkeyes!! Oh my god, speaking of which! I have to tell you-"

You stopped as your body started to feel it.

Your hairs went straight up.

You stood up and started walking out of the room and into the room Clint and Kate were in. "Spider?" Clint asked, a little worried. Kate turned to see you look around, slightly panicked.

"What's going on?" She asked.

Clint shook his head, and the two watched you.

Your body directed you to the abandoned desk. You squatted down and ignored the feel of Kate's eyes on your ass.

That's when you saw it.

A silent armed. Triggered to go off when the front door opened. Kate must've accidentally set it off when she discovered it earlier.

Yet your tingle didn't stop.

You stood up again and walked to the window. At the same time, Ned's voice came through your earpiece. "Get down!!"

Time slowed as the first bullet cracked the window, sending shards of glass your way as the bullet blew right past your face.

As the glass skimmed your mask, you turned towards Kate and hit a button on your wrist to send a wall of webs in her direction.

"Get down!" You shouted as your voice became muffled thanks to the rain of gunfire coming from the street below you.

You watched Clint hit the deck as he was the furthest away. If he could save himself quicker, the quicker he could save Kate and you. If needed.

As you hit the floor, your webs hit the ceiling and wall in front of Kate, protecting her from a shower of glass and ricocheted bullets, which left you unprotected as you began crawling toward the younger Hawkeye.

"We have to go!" You heard Clint yell as the gunfire didn't stop. You agreed and motioned for them to go first when you finally made it to Kate.

But she was going to leave without you.

Kate grabbed your left hand and started dragging you as she followed Clint through the front door of the apartment. The sound of glass and gunfire sounding further away as you three ran through to the other side of the abandoned building.

Back to where you entered. Except when you looked out the window, you saw men waiting on the roof across the way.

"Shit!" Kate said as she got her breath. "Language." Clint retorted, causing Kate to give a really?! look.

Clint looked around, ignoring Kate, until his eyes landed back on you.

"Spider, take Kate and get her out of here."

You opened your mouth to speak up, but Kate beat you to it. "Clint! I'm not leaving you!"

He looked at her and placed his right on the top of her purple beanie as the sound of gunfire started to become louder. The men entered the building.

"Yes, you are. I'll hold these guys off and meet you at your aunts."

You watched Kate shake her head and sign to the older Hawkeye. Leaving you out of the conversation.

Clint sighed and signed back.

Clint grabbed his bow and turned towards the window to line up a shot.

"Cli-"

"Kate!"

He turned his head back, stopping her. Kate deflated. "Spider, take her."

You lifted your eyes from Clint to Kate. You took a shaky step forward and placed your hand around the strong arm of your crush.

She looked back and nodded. "Let's go." She took a step towards a window positioned on the west side of the wall and broke it with her bow. She cleared the glass away and waited for you to climb onto the exterior wall.

"Right!" You nodded and jogged to the window.

It was a silent moment between the two of you as Kate stepped outside the window and into your waiting arms. You couldn't help the feelings in your stomach and the fire in your heart when Kate wrapped her legs around your waist.

Her chin on your shoulder.

You also couldn't help your mouth when it opened up. "Usually, I like to take a nice girl out to eat before this happens."

You cringed and rolled your eyes at your own words.

Thankfully, Kate laughed. Whether it was genuine or not was a mystery, but she smiled and wrapped her arms tighter around you.

"I may have a slight obsession with you, but let's slow down."

That was news to you.

"Obsession, huh?" You felt a grin grow on your face.

Kate quickly hid a blush and pushed herself further into you, which didn't help the moan stuck in your throat from trying to fight its way to your lips.

But you swallowed it down and managed to say: "You ready?"

You felt Kate nod.

"Hold tight." You said even though you would never allow Kate to slip from your grasp.

You twhipped you and Kate away from Clint as you heard him send a barrage of arrows to the idiots on the other roof.

On the outside, Kate tried to play it cool, but on the inside, her stomach was doing flips like it was qualifying for a gold medal.

The rush of air against her body hundreds of feet into be air was one thing

But being wrapped around your body was another. Especially when she couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't the first time the two of you had met.

But Kate would know if she had ever met the Spider...

So, who were you?

Tagging List: @daddy-jareau

dividers by @/benkeibear

[dreamauri]

begging for a new “for sentimental reasons” chapter.

I AM STARVED

♪ — 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗦 - part nine charles leclerc  x  fem! driver! reader (angst) “… forgetting is troublesome especially when you used to be enemies.”

voice notes 🔊 . . . ( very short, sorry. AND BEFORE YOU READ. IM ALSO VERY VERY SORRY. theres still a few more chapters to get to. so, relax )

( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )

You gulped as you turned up the volume on the tv, tears stinging your eyes as you watched Andrew Garfield's spider man on the TV, swinging around. And no matter how loud or visually distracting the movie was you could still hear your father shouting on the phone in the other room. Your one chance at getting a sponsor and you perform a very lovely last place. "ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THIS, BECAUSE I AM VERY HAPPY." You flinched as you watched him enter the room, shutting the door. "What was I even thinking? You're just a stupid girl."

-

"Hey." You wiped your tears looking up at the blurry figure. "Bad day, huh?" He sat beside you. You looked at him confused, who was this guy? "You had a bad day too?" "Very bad." You could almost put a finger on his accent. "What happened to you?" A deep sigh rocked your chest as you reieved your memories from earlier. "I haven't been performing that well in my profession recently, my team is going to drop me . . . My dad was right, I'm just a stupid girl." "I beg to differ . . . When I look at you I see, . . . this strong woman who's put me in shock several times. She's very strong, and just as beautiful." You tried to blink your eyes clean. Who was this drunk stranger trying to comfort an equally drunk girl on the side of the street. "What's your name?" “Carl.” He lied straight through his teeth.

-

“Carl? Are you following me? What are you doing in this part of the world?” “I was going to ask you that question! I missed you!”

-

“How long till she realizes Carl is the guy she hates the most in the world?” “Shut up, Lando.” “Oh, I’m sorry Charles— I mean, Carl.”

-

“Hey?” You snapped your head up, looking at the boy confused. Now was really not the time. You were balancing your whole weight on your feet. Rehabilitation sessions after a 48g crash wasn’t something you could chat through. “Leclerc. If you don’t mind, I’m expecting company—” “I am company.” “Boy, just go. I have no energy to fight with you.” “I’m Carl . . .” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Yeah I know, now please leave.”

-

“Y/N, please.” Charles held your hand. “In the time I spent with you, I’ve grown . . . feelings for you.” You chuckled. “You grew feelings? What is it? A plant? You don't grow feelings, Charles.” “Now's not the time to correct my english!” “Yeah yeah. Okay well, we were drunk, drunk people do stupid stuff.” “I wasn’t drunk! You were.” “—I’ll punch your face.” “SORRY, sorry. Just. I really do love you, Y/N!” “HAH— AND I'M A POTATO.”

-

“Give me this one chance! Please, Y/N." "Why should I?! Why do you love me?" "I— I dont know?! You make me happy! You make me feel safe. Its just— sentimental reasons, okay?"

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Oh . . .”

In extreme truth revealing situations, emotions are always easy to blind humans, especially when it comes to betrayal. Somepeople may act rashly and take risks. Some people stand incredibly still. Their eyes wide, heart cracking and shattering. Some feel silent anger, others feel a panic attack crashing in. 

Maybe things can be better. Right? You can always fix what's broken, whether it was objects or bones. Feelings too. You can fix your feelings, yes? Yes? You can forgive him. Of course you can, can you not? You love him. You need him. 

The tears that fill your eyes start to run down your cheeks and neck. A hiccup slowly leaves your lips as you continue to look down at your shoes. Breathing was getting harder and your hands that hugged you into yourself gripped your biceps a little too harshly, warm crimson was dripping down your arm and fingers.

“H—how—” how dare you, you wanted to ask. The blurry figure in red tried to take a step closer only for you to take one back in return. “I thought I— I thought—” You shut your mouth to hold back the sobs. You brushed your hair from your face, a sad chuckle leaving your lips as you wiped your eyes.

“Why—” You looked at Charles, demanding an explanation. The pain felt immense. The panic washed away and was soon replaced by anger and sadness. “I thought I could trust you? I thought we were a team?” You took a step forward grabbing his wrist holding up the pliers. “I don’t even want to know what you were doing.”

 You dropped his hand before pushing past him. 

[masturbucky]

Carl Grimes and 🌠baby trapping🌠 [2]

(aged up obv)Carl Grimes x dark!afab!reader

part where he's the scary one

In which you baby-trap him...

Ever since the incident we all know about, Carl is, obviously, very much afraid of the possibility to deal with a woman he cares about being pregnant and giving birth. It's almost paranoid, his whole behavior around the thing.

He will never do the do without protection. nuh-uh. He will check himself if you take your pills (if you take any), he will ALWAYS wear a condom - doesn't matter how much he wants to go raw on you, the mere thought of your dead eyes after a death in birth giving immediately shakes him out of this stupidity.

he doesn't want to see it. he's not ready for it, he lost enough people.

...but you want a family, he's not blind. he can see it.

how you baby Judith, your tenderness and warm smile whenever you see children, when someone lets you hold their baby... He can see this glint in your eyes, and he'd be lying if he said he doesn't like the image of you with a baby.

with a little Grimes, with his child.

he doesn't let this thought grow. he goes on, day to day, happy with what he has - protecting what he doesn't want to lose.

...he notices the change of behavior in you, though.

you get more...

...needy.

which is alright... great, even.

until you start begging for a baby.

"cum inside, Carl, I want it, i need it"

he cries out, and he nuts immediately.

he's almost disappointed that he's wearing a condom.

it happens again. again, and again, and again – you keep begging.

he feels like he's going crazy. while he loves how this makes him feel, the memories connected to pregnancy just break it off. he gets this odd feeling that you're up to something serious with something as silly as playing on his newly found, weird kink.

so he talks to you. he explains his position, once again. he tells you about his fears, and how it drives him crazy.

you don't fight. yes, you asks a few questions, but you don't insist and you don't throw a tantrum - which he's thankful for. it'll break his heart, fighting with you.

and everything is okay, until the next time he's cumming, he pulls out and sees that the condom leaks.

as if there's holes, so small he haven't noticed.

he doesn't say anything.

you're still on the pill, right? so what if the condom was... broken...

he's anxious, deep inside.

it just happened, one time won't get you knocked up. he won't lose you.

time passes and he almost forgets about this incident, until it happens again.

....you end up pregnant.

he's scared. you're scared. you cry in his shoulder for hours over the stick with two lines, and he feels like he has to be strong for you.

little did he know you faked the test, you faked the crying, and next time you're having sex you'll suggest to not use protection.

"Well I'm pregnant already, not like it matters anymore..."

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 36 ~ The attack

✧ Paring : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 3

✧ Word Count : 6.4k

In this chapter ~ The following day wasn't any easier as the group needed to have a plan for if the Governor returned. It all led to a pretty big argument, everyone having a different opinion about what they should do. But none of their ideas or plans could've prepared them for the sudden attack they were faced with. However, nothing else seemed to prepare them for the familiar faces that had returned just in time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ROSE POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning finally rolled around after a long night of restful sleep, Glenn wasting no time gathering everyone together in the common room for some type of meeting. He began to question Carl about where he found Tyreese's group, knowing that if there was a blind spot somewhere, we had to find it. We weren't going to risk anymore walkers getting in that way, but more importantly, The Governor and his men if they planned to come.

I stood up against the wall as I watched Glenn draw out a map on the ground with a piece of chalk, going on and on about the spaces we needed to fill. His voice continued to bounce off the cement walls as he couldn't stress enough about how important this was, but I couldn't help but tune him out after a while. Ever since he had brought up that he eventually spilled where we were located to The Governor, now talking about how easily they could get in, I couldn't help but stew over it for longer than I intended.

A figure stepped up next to me then, bumping their shoulder with mine and I looked up to see Michonne, tilting her head towards me as she silently asked if I was alright. I only nodded my head and turned my attention back on Glenn, but I knew I didn't convince her.

"Why are we even so sure he's going to attack? Maybe you scared him off." Beth spoke up.

Michonne then quickly shook her head, "He had fish tanks full of heads, walkers and humans. Trophies. He coming." she said seriously.

"We should hit him now." Glenn said.

My eyes snapped back to him at the suggestion, "What?" Beth asked.

"He won't be expecting it," he continued, "We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head." he spoke, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. As if it were that easy.

"We're not assassins." Carol said bluntly.

He ignored her comment as he got up from his crouched position, moving closer as he spoke to Michonne, "You know where his apartment is, you and I could end this tonight." he attempted to convince.

But Michonne stayed silent for a while as she looked at him with almost uncertainty, "I'll do it myself." he tried.

She eyed him for only a moment longer, seeing how serious he grew about this, before silently nodding her head.

"No," I spoke up, grabbing his attention, "This plan is too risky, you haven't thought this thro-"

"Believe me I have." he cut me off.

"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened. You were almost killed, Daryl was captured, and you and Maggie were almost executed." Hershel said.

He turned back to face the old man, "You can't stop me."

"But I can." I piped up.

His head then whipped back towards me, and he got closer to my face, "No you can't."

"Is that a challenge?" I asked with anger lacing my voice.

The room instantly grew silent as my voice echoed around the space, everyone watched intently what we would do next. I would never hurt Glenn, but if he tried to leave and do this, I wouldn't hesitate to tackle his ass.

He didn't say anything as he swallowed thickly, so I did, "I'm not going to let you get yourself killed over a stupid plan you barely put any thought into. We wait, and come up with a better one."

"He could be gathering his men to come over here and attack right now!" he yelled in my face.

"Well then he wouldn't be in Woodbury waiting for you to kill him now would he?!" I yelled back, "And there goes your big plan."

I was a bit taken aback that he was here screaming in my face, not liking what this whole situation was doing to him. But I wasn't going to back down, I wasn't about to let him be as reckless as he wanted to be and get himself killed somehow trying to do this just because he was angry.

I could easily tell by his face that he wasn't expecting me to yell back, to stand up to him and get in his way, but I would do a whole lot more than that if he kept it up.

It was almost like a face off as we stared at each other for the long passing seconds, before Hershel's voice cut through the intense silence, "Rick would never allow this."

Glenn then turned towards Hershel and took a few steps away from me, "You really think he's in any position to make that choice?"

"Like Rose said, you need to think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here, Lori too. The men that were here. It isn't worth any more killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now."

"And go where?" Glenn asked.

"We lived out on the road all winter." Hershel pointed out.

Glenn sighed, "Back when you had two legs, and we didn't have a baby crying for walkers every four hours."

"We can't stay." he said calmly.

"We can't run." Glenn countered back.

I stayed silent as I watched him continue to argue with Hershel, his arms flailing all over the place just to prove his point, I almost couldn't believe how he was acting. He had every right to be upset for what happened to him and Maggie back there, for everything that asshole did to them, but he had no right to take it out on us.

He eventually concluded that we would stay put and fight for the prison and moved down to continue to tell Carl the plan about checking the tunnels again, but then he stopped in his tracks.

"Who's on watch?" he snapped.

No one said anything, causing him to get up quickly as he cursed under his breath, but I stopped him before he could fully walk out the door.

"No, don't worry princess, I got it." I assured while pushing his chest back a little.

Without another word, I left the common room and let the heavy door slam right behind me. I was so pissed off at his bitchy attitude, he was being so stupid it almost blew my mind. I understood that he wanted revenge, but this isn't how we do it. We had to be careful not to lose anyone else, and the fact that he was going around acting like he didn't care who we lost, made my blood boil.

Feeling relieved as I was finally up in the watchtower with a sniper in my hand, I needed some air, and a break from his stupid tantrums.

About two hours had passed in what felt like a flash as I sat myself near the bars of the tower, keeping an eye on the trees surrounding the place for any type of threat. Though there were many walkers that seemed to pile up a little around the gated fences, it was nothing new. Just the same old shit that we had been fighting since the beginning, no sign of The Governor or his people, not even a sign of anyone alive for that matter.

Though when Michonne made a comment about how he would come, I believed her. She knew how this man thought better than the rest of us did, expecting him to return with rage and destruction. But I never imagined we would get here. In a place where we were suddenly at some kind of war with a man and his community, one that we barely even knew. It was a lot to take in.

The door below began to creak open slowly from behind me and I rolled my eyes as I adjusted the gun in my lap, "Go away." I said in a sing-song tone.

"It's me." Maggie's voice called out, and I turned around to see her standing there with a solemn look on her face, "You want me to leave you alone?"

I pretended to think for a second before shaking my head, "Nah, you're the only exception."

She slightly smiled, "Thanks babe."

I nodded and gestured for her to come over and take a seat next to me, and she moved upon see in my silent invitation. We both sat down while the gun I had now rested in my lap, continuing to gaze out at the tree line just a couple yards away.

She stayed quiet from beside me but I knew she had a lot on her mind, she just didn't know where to start. I could feel her eyes on me as she tried to find her voice, opening and shutting her mouth a few times in hesitance. I didn't want to push her, but maybe if I lightened the mood it would get her talking.

"So, did you come up here to talk, or just stare at my pretty face?" I asked, glancing over at her with a smirk.

She let out a chuckle and looked down at her hands, "Both." she replied reluctantly, getting me to laugh along with her.

"What's on your mind?" I asked as I turned better to face her.

She hesitated for a moment before making eye contact with me, "Nothing, I just... kinda snapped at Glenn." she admitted, sounding a little ashamed.

I scoffed, "Well, apparently I was one step ahead of you on that one today."

She laughed with a shake of her head, "Yeah, I guess so...but I'm kind of glad you did. In my opinion I think he was way out of line, with you and my dad." she said.

I nodded my head, "He was. The Governor shoved a stick so far up his ass and now he's taking it out on all of us."

She silently agreed, beginning to nervously pick at her nails as she spoke the next dreaded words, "He's just mad about what Merle did to him. And...what The Governor did to me." she admitted quietly.

My eyes widened, but she answered the question before it even came out of my mouth, "No he didn't. He just...made me take off my shirt and bra, and...pushed himself up against me. He didn't do anything really, it was nothing...just scared me real bad."

I shook my head, "That's not just nothing Mags." I argued.

"It could've been worse." she said quietly.

"...It could've," I agreed, "But that doesn't mean you should brush this off like it was nothing...that must've been so traumatizing...I'm so sorry."

"Thanks." she nodded in appreciation, her voice coming out practically a whisper, "I'm just having a hard time processing it I think, and Glenn keeps avoiding me because of all of it...well until just a few minutes ago."

"What happened?"

"He...he came into our cell to check on me, but I didn't feel like saying a whole lot to him. But he almost pushed me to tell him what really happened while we were separated, what happened with The Governor. I didn't want to relive it and go into detail, but he kept asking...so I told him. And then I yelled at him...I think I'm just pissed he pushed me to tell him more about it. But...that's probably a stupid reason to snap at him huh?"

I shook my head, "No it's not, you weren't ready. He should've waited until you were comfortable enough to tell him about it yourself."

She nodded her head in agreement and looked down, "You want me to beat him up for you?" I asked.

I heard her laugh a little but she shook her head, "No, that's okay, I just needed some time to cool off. I'll talk to him later."

I nodded, showing her I understood completely before moving forward to pull her into a hug, which she gladly returned. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. And don't you think for one minute that we won't make him pay for what he did."

"I know we will." she whispered, still holding onto me tightly.

We stayed in each other's arms for a little while, the gesture and comfort being something she really needed before we finally broke apart, silence taking over once again. This time however, the silence wasn't tense as it seemed to be before. It felt peaceful just sitting with each other instead of both of us being by ourselves with our racing thoughts. I enjoyed the company even though I originally wanted to be alone, she somehow truly was an exception.

But I could then feel her eyes on me again after a few moments of her thinking, and I just knew the things she wanted to say. It was almost as if I read her mind, just by briefly seeing the one saddened look on her features.

"You don't even have to say it." I muttered.

Her frown stretched even further, "But I want to...we haven't talked about it."

"There's a reason we haven't." I brushed off, "It's over. It's done."

She sighed to herself, looking at me with furrowed brows and saddened eyes, "I'm sorry about Daryl." she said softly, so softly I almost didn't hear it. Though a part of me wished I hadn't.

"Maggie-"

"No," she cut me off, "You're hurting, I can see that. I just didn't want you to think that you couldn't talk to me about it. I'm always here to listen."

I shook my head, "I don't need to talk about it because there's nothing to talk about. He left. And I...didn't follow him."

"Do you regret not going with him?" she asked.

"No." I said instantly, "...Yeah? I- I don't know." I muttered in defeat.

"Hey," she whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder to get me to actually look at her, "I don't want you to think you have to put up this front like you're okay, because I can tell you're not. Just...let it out."

I shook my head, "I have, trust me. I just do it alone, I don't want anyone else seeing me like that." I said with a sarcastic laugh, before pausing upon seeing how serious her face had become. Maybe I had been putting up a front, more than I even originally realized.

And then it happened, he entered my mind again like he always seemed to do. "I miss him." I admitted quietly.

She sighed in sympathy before bringing me in for another hug, as I tried desperately not to break down in front of her. "I know you do," she whispered, "But it'll be okay, everything will work itself out." she promised, rubbing my back lightly.

Tears built up in my eyes, ones that she couldn't see. I couldn't bring myself to speak in fear that my voice would crack at the first word that left my lips, so I only nodded. Not fully knowing if I could believe that, but yet wanting to more than anything.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My feet trucked heavily through the woods as fast as I could, ignoring Merle's quick steps from behind me as he yelled, trying to keep up to really rip into me. His reason for being this pissed was stupid, getting all fired up at me for stopping him after he wanted to rob an innocent family we came across. They were fighting off a small herd of walkers when we found them, leading to us making a beeline over towards their direction to help take care of the rest. Merle's actions honestly surprised me...until they didn't.

As some type of "payment" for saving them he wanted to pick through the supplies out of their car, shouting at them and threatening them however he pleased. But I had already had enough of his dumbass, aiming my crossbow at his head to finally get him to stop harassing these people we didn't even know.

I told the family to just drive, get away fast while I had stopped him for the time being and right when I saw they were far enough away, I turned around swiftly to avoid the confrontation, heading back towards the forest. I should've expected this from him, his old tendances resurfacing, but I guess it was something I didn't think about when it came to taking off with him again. But everything he did, everything he said, was starting to piss me off more than I could even describe.

Ever since the first night when he brought up Rose the way he did, trying to convince me of things that weren't true, I was even done with him then.

"The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?!" he asked harshly while still following close behind.

"They were scared man." I said, not slowing down or stopping.

He scoffed, "They're rude is what they were. Rude and they owed us a token of gratitude."

"They didn't owe us nothin." I grumbled, thinking back to how they were struggling to protect themselves on their own, all while also trying to keep the baby they had safe. Helping them was the least I could've done in my mind.

"I see you, helpin people out of the goodness of your heart? Even though you might die doin it. Is that something your little girlfriend taught ya?"

I stopped in my tracks once he said that, whipping back around to look him in the eye, "There was a baby." I snapped.

"Oh, otherwise you would have just left them for the biters then?" he questioned, and I knew exactly what he was implying.

I shook my head, "Man, I went back for you. Ya weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand either, you did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. Ya asked for it." I said.

To my surprise, his face formed into a smile as he started to chuckle a little to himself. "You know what's funny to me? You and sheriff Rick are like this now." he crossed his pointer and middle finger together, "Right? I bet ya a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told him that we were planning on robbing that camp blind."

I paused for a moment as I thought back to our plan we discussed a long time ago, long when we first found the group to begin with. "It didn't happen."

"Yeah, it didn't cause I wasn't there to help you." he spat.

I took a step closer to him, "What like when we were kids? Huh? Who left who then?"

"What? Is that why I lost my hand?!"

"Ya lost yer hand because yer a simple-minded piece of shit!" I snapped.

Upon hearing that, he began to yell things that I couldn't bring myself to listen to anymore as I turned away from him, my eyes widening once I felt him grab the back of my shirt to pull me back, hearing it rip. My knees buckled and hit the ground at the amount of force he used, feeling his eyes burning at the spots on my back that I didn't want him to see.

I felt like I was melting under his gaze, practically feeling his eyes widening as he eyed every single one lining my skin. The feeling that came with his realization felt awful. Fearful even. But when I showed Rose, ashamed and scared, she kissed over them with such love I had never felt before, making my fear instantly disappear. Hell, I felt like I fell even deeper in love with her in that moment alone.

But here I was now, fully exposed to my brother who now suddenly was at a loss for words when normally he didn't know how to shut the fuck up. I quickly tried to pull my shirt back up to cover them out of embarrassment, but I felt it was too torn. So I quickly took my backpack instead, shrugging it on my shoulders to hide them once more.

"I-I didn't know he-"

"Yeah he did." I interrupted him, "He did the same to you, that's why you left first." I muttered almost bitterly.

I meant for my tone to come out loud and intimidating, but when I spoke all I could hear was insecurity in my voice.

"I had to man, I would've killed him otherwise." he told me.

I only scoffed towards him, not even looking him in the eye as I stood back up to my full height, walking away from him through the woods, "Where you goin?" he called after me.

"Back where I belong." I snapped.

"What? Back to your little girlfriend? Besides I can't go with ya. I tried to kill that black bitch, damn near killed that Chinese kid."

My blood boiled at his racism, "He's Korean." I corrected.

"Whatever! Doesn't matter man I just can't go with you." he replied.

I took a breath, "Ya know, I might be the one walkin away, but yer the one who's leaving...again." I spoke, walking away from him for good.

I should've known from the beginning not to go with him and leave everyone else behind. Leave Rose behind. But that was a stupid mistake, and all I could think about now was finally getting back to her. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her and how she never once left my mind, how I was constantly trying to find a way to come back to her.

And now I was.

My feet couldn't take me nearly as fast as I wanted to go, harshly pushing through the branches in my way as if that would somehow get me there quicker. To finally get back home.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ROSE POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Maggie left a little while ago to go back to her cell to have some time by herself, while I stayed on watch for a little while longer. No one else had offered to take over for me whilst I had been up here for hours, but I honestly didn't mind. In a way it gave me some peace of mind that no one remained out in the distance watching us. Seeing for myself that there truly wasn't a threat, even though I continued to double and triple check.

But my attention was pulled away from the tree line once I saw a brief glimpse of Glenn getting into another argument with Hershel just outside. I caught myself almost stepping down to yell at him for flipping out on the poor old man again, but he was already making his way to a truck before I could say a thing.

My eyes slightly widened, "Glenn Rhee, don't you dare get in that truck!" I yelled down to him.

Everything was screaming at me, telling me that I knew exactly what he was doing. He was going back, and he was going back alone.

But like a child, he just made dead eye contact with me, slightly glaring, while slowly getting into the driver's seat anyway.

"Glenn!" I yelled again but he quickly started it up and drove off, stepping further on the gas and out of the gates before anyone had a chance to stop him. I cursed under my breath as I watched the vehicle disappear further into the distance, leaving only a smoke cloud behind.

The man was being so goddamn stubborn, and he was going to get himself killed. Tossing the gun I had on the ground, I turned to make my way down from the watch tower to talk to Hershel about what was said between the two of them, but something else in the distance caught my eye.

There was a person lingering towards the woods, wandering around the outside of the prison gates. In a split second, I had picked the weapon back up, looking through the scope to spot the figure clearly, but stopping completely when I saw it was Rick. He was looking left and right repeatedly as if he was looking for someone, and I lowered the weapon with furrowed brows.

I didn't hesitate then to get down from the watchtower, exiting through the gate before jogging across the field to talk to him. I was growing more worried about him with each passing day, watching him slowly lose his mind as his eyes spotted things that weren't actually there. His movements only reminding me of what happened the other day in the common room, staring up at the balcony before breaking out in a cold sweat as if something was watching him.

By the time I made it up to the fence, he had walked a little further into the woods as he continued searching, making me have to call his name multiple times so he would acknowledge my presence. After a few seconds, he finally heard my voice, turning back slowly to walk over up to the other side of the fence.

Once he was close enough, I spoke, "You know I wouldn't have ran my ass all the way down here if it wasn't important." I tried to joke, still slightly out of breath.

A soft smile crossed his lips, "When are you coming back? I love Glenn but that man is really starting to get on my nerves. We need you." I said.

"If you're worried about him leading this group, then you lead." he said seriously.

"Hilarious." I deadpanned, briefly looking around behind him, "What are you doing down here?"

He paused and looked away from me as he stuttered, "I've- I've been, I've got, stuff out here. Stuff..." he trailed off suddenly.

"Stuff." I repeated with a slow nod of my head, "Well...how much longer does this stuff need?" I asked, my concern for him only growing.

He shrugged, "I don't know."

"Rick, you know you can talk to me. Why are you out here?" I asked softly.

He stared at me for a few moments, wanting desperately to tell me what was on his mind but something was holding him back. Maybe it would sound crazy, maybe he felt that no one would believe him, but the truth was I would. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on with him, so I could know how to help him.

"I saw something..." he finally said, "Lori. I saw- I'm seeing Lori...I know it's not really her, but there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something you know?"

I nodded my head as I saw him finally confiding in me, "Do...do you see her now?" I asked cautiously.

He looked around for a moment before shaking his head, "I don't think you're just seeing her...I think you're looking for her." I stated.

"I'm waiting." he corrected.

"For what?"

"I don't know, something. There's an answer. I know it doesn't make sense- well it does, it can make sense, I think in time it will make sense-"

"Rick," I sighed to stop his rambling, "When was the last time you slept?"

He shook his head, "I...I don't know." he admitted quietly.

"You need rest." I told him gently.

He didn't reply, just looked down at his feet as his mind clouded with more thoughts, "Do you remember last night when you told me not to blame myself...for what happened to her?" I asked.

He slowly looked up at me and nodded his head, "The same goes for you." I spoke, "Don't blame yourself...it'll destroy you. Especially when it wasn't your fault." I repeated back to him.

He opened his mouth to say something else, but then looked over my shoulder as if he caught a glimpse of movement. At first I was fearful to turn around, not knowing if there was going to be an actual person behind me or not, but I slowly managed to turn over my shoulder to only see Hershel hopping his way down carefully towards us. Thank God.

When he caught up with us, he placed a hand on my shoulder, "Mind if I talk to Rick for a moment, dear?" he asked me and I nodded, glancing back to Rick once more before heading back up towards the prison to give them a second alone.

As I was walking across the long field, I spotted Michonne standing by the abandoned bus in the grass, giving me a small wave once our eyes locked. Raising my hand up to wave back, I slowly made my way over to her instead.

But right as I was finally close enough to speak, opening my mouth to say something, I didn't even get a chance as she quickly reached out and pulled me back with a thud against the bus. Her hand was placed firmly on my shoulder as she kept me behind the hunk of junk, peering around the vehicle with widened eyes.

My brows furrowed as I tried to ask what she saw, but not a second later, I heard a single gunshot fire come from the trees. Then a loud, shocked scream came from just inside the prison gates, whipping my head over to see it was Carol as a body collapsed on top of her. It was Axel, a bullet piercing through his head and his blood splattering over the side of the watchtower.

My eyes got wide as I scanned the area for where the shot came from, spotting a single car in the distance with a few people surrounding it. It didn't take a genius to know who it was, and I quickly became furious. That son of a bitch really came back here.

After I spotted him standing still, far enough away from our gates, I quickly loaded the gun in my hands. That's when more gunfire started coming from all around us, and I peeked out from around Michonne just in time to see Hershel dive to the ground to avoid the flying bullets. I pushed past her lightly and began shooting at the men standing behind their vehicles in the tree line, firing at the ones who were the closest to him.

My gaze then spotted a stranger standing near one of the watch towers, shooting at Carl and Beth as they were trying to take cover. I quickly moved my aim, firing right at the man and instantly watching him go down with a single headshot. Not even hesitating as I whipped back to my original spot and kept firing just as before, in hopes it would buy the older man some time.

But then it very quickly grew silent, everyone stopping their actions suddenly. But once I listened more carefully, I could briefly hear the engine of a car coming our way. I hoped to God it was Glenn, but my face dropped even more when I saw it was some type of white van coming straight at our gates and quickly barreled through them without a second thought. It rushed past the bus Michonne and I were still hiding behind, feeling her hand quickly pull me out of the way so I wouldn't get hit.

It came to a stop in the middle of the field, leaving us all waiting in anticipation for something else to happen. Then all of a sudden, a man popped out of the driver's seat and headed towards the back, ducking and avoiding all the shots our people were trying to fire at him. He opened the back doors quickly, letting walkers spill out of the van and onto our land.

I immediately panicked once I saw how close they were to Hershel, attempting to run over and get to him but Michonne pulled me back again, seconds before someone began firing right at the spot we were hiding behind.

"Hershel get out of there!" I yelled.

I saw him pull out a small gun and start firing at the walkers, while trying to crawl away as best as he could, not being able to get back up without help. The Governor's people all started to make their way back to their vehicles to make a run for it, leaving our group to spread out further to kill all the many walkers they had just released. Fucking cowards.

I saw the van start back up, beginning to turn around and beeline it out of the field right as Glenn's truck pulled back up through the broken gates. Oh, I wanted to kill him right now.

He made his way over to Hershel the second he caught sight of him, and I began to run alongside of the truck so we could help get him in and get him the fuck out of here. Michonne was killing off walkers around us as we ran, and I finally made it to Hershel who was still laying on the ground, putting one of his arms around my shoulders, helping him up and back towards the truck.

Glenn then hopped out of the vehicle only seconds later, rushing over to the two of us to help him move faster on the other side of him. Hershel jumped as fast as he could as we guided him over to the passenger side, glancing behind us to see Michonne still stalling the walkers away from us.

Once he was in safely, I slammed the door shut and watched Glenn get back into the driver's seat, starting it back up again. Michonne turned back to jump in the back, kicking her legs over to make it in safely and reached a hand out for me to take. I ducked out of the way of the walker's grasp, trying to make it over towards where she was reaching, but I was quickly cut off as more of them caught sight of me in the middle.

I pulled out my gun again to try and shoot at them, but it clicked. Fuck.

"Rose!" Glenn yelled from the driver's side, knowing he couldn't wait much longer with the amount coming at him.

"Just go! Get them out of here!" I screamed.

He hesitated for a moment before groaning to himself, driving back up towards the prison where everyone else was watching. I got my knives out and began to throw them at any corpses coming my way, backing up slowly so they couldn't corner me. Many of them had now caught sight of me alone, and I looked over to see if Rick was still outside the gate, but I couldn't spot him anywhere from where I was placed.

But the second I caught an opening through the small herd of walkers, I booked it through the space in attempts to make it back up to the prison on foot. My curly hair bounced wildly as I pushed myself to run as fast as I could, the wind momentarily blowing it towards my face to a point where I couldn't see anymore. I moved my hands to get it out of my face the second it was in my vision, but it was already too late as I missed the walker coming at me from my right.

It collided with me and I fell to the ground harshly. I was so close to the gates that I could hear everyone calling my name desperately, hearing them try to make it over to me. I groaned and struggled with the walker on top of my chest, catching it trying to claw at my shoulders. But then it fell limp against me just as quickly as it tackled me.

My eyes looked up to see a bolt sticking out of the side of its head, piercing through the entirety of its skull. My breath caught in my throat at the thought, but he left. He couldn't have come back, right?

As soon as those thoughts echoed in my mind I looked up and my eyes widened. There he was. Side by side with Merle and Rick as they fought off the many walkers that got too close, firing repeatedly at their skulls. I finally shoved the walker off of me and stood up immediately, nodding back towards the gates without a second thought so we could actually make it out of this thing alive.

"Come on!" I yelled at them, and the three quickly followed me the little distance we had left to go, Maggie rushing to open the broken gate before slamming it shut behind us.

The moment I knew we were safe, my eyes connected with Daryl's from the space between us. I didn't hesitate before I was running towards him quickly, watching as he stayed firmly in place, opening his arms up for me to crash into. I practically tackled him in a hug with a gasp and my legs immediately wrapped around his waist, feeling him hold me up in place while burying his face into my neck. I felt myself begin to tear up at the familiar feeling I had craved so badly, his grip on me never loosening.

We held onto each other for what felt like forever before he leaned forward a little and set me back down to my feet, his arms still glued around my waist. I pulled back to get a look at his features, seeing his perfect blue eyes again and I sighed to myself as I placed my hands on either side of his face, bringing my lips up to his cheek to kiss him multiple times.

He chuckled as he brought me into his chest once more, hugging me tightly again as if he never wanted to let go. I couldn't even begin to explain the emotions I was feeling right now, but all I cared about in that moment was that he was here. He came back. I couldn't bring myself to care about anything else at the shock was still so evident that he was truly here standing right in front of me.

As we finally pulled apart, he quickly placed a kiss on my forehead before looking back down at me. "You're here." I whispered.

"M' here." he repeated, "I ain't goin anywhere else, m' here." he said softly while taking his hands and wiping away the tears that somehow managed to escape my eyes.

I laughed, unable to contain my happiness as I pulled him in for another hug, our intertwined bodies rocking from side to side. I took everything in as I held him close, glancing over his shoulder momentarily to see Merle standing off to the side with an odd expression on his face. Though I couldn't tell what that expression was for, nor could I tell what was going on in his mind. But I didn't linger on it for very long as Daryl pulled away slightly again.

"I'll explain everythin later. But right now..." he trailed off as he glanced back to Rick.

I turned to look over my shoulder, following his gaze to see Rick standing there with his eyes on the field, looking about ready to burst into flames with how angry he had become. But the man didn't utter a word. Not a single word as he just nodded back towards the prison, expecting us all to follow behind him.

This should be fun.

~Thanks for reading!

[smutinlove]

You were my light (Part 5)

Carl Grimes x Reader

Warnings: surprisingly none.

☽ Author's note☾ this is the end. or is it? i love everyone who read this. DO NOT STEAL, COPY, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE.

Thank you to everyone who read this!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Alternate ending

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Summary - The daughter of the now dead Negan Smith is walking in the woods. She thought she was alone. But she wasn't.

❝ This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you ❞

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Three words.

Three valuable words could change everything. What are those words, you may ask? Well, no one knows. I guess you'll just have to figure it out yourself.

Or not. Who knows? It's just three words. I'm sure you can figure it out, 'my dearest reader.'

Oh, love. What a parasite. Fools love that shit, don't they? They eat it up. Hot guy? They fall in love. If a guy or girl even looks at them, they fall in love.

And maybe it was like that with you and Carl.

Love at first sight? No. Not really, I guess.

But who knows? Blindness can be contagious.

Alexandria was just another suffocating town.

So, you had the lovely idea of leaving for a bit. Just a few hours. Nothing more. Now, it was six in the morning, and you were happily opening the gates of Alexandria when you heard, "Going somewhere?"

You laughed.

"You coming?" You asked. "What?"

"I said: Are you coming?"

He nodded in response and took your hand. This is fun isn't it? Stupidity can get you killed. But it is fun.

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"You idiot! Get up." Carl had fallen on his back after attempting to climb a tree. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

He got up and brushed the dirt off himself. The two of you continued your stroll out in the woods. Trees, fallen leaves, and even more trees. Those were the only two things you and Carl kept seeing.

"Hey, look!" Carl pointed towards a cabin. It looked old and abandoned. It looked like it could collapse any minute now. "That looks fun. Let's go inside." He said.

You agreed. But it awfully felt familiar. It was like you had already been here before. Maybe it was━

"Y/N, you coming?" He asked. "What? Oh, yeah." You walked inside the dark cabin.

It was simple looking. There was a fireplace, a rocking chair, an old mattress, and a lantern. That was it. "This is cozy." You joked.

"Very." He responded with.

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"I never thought that a stupid cabin would be a nice place to just relax."

"I know it's fun." You answered. "Just going away from everyone. It's just us now, just us."

The three words were never really said. I guess you two were a bit scared.

But after all, this is only the beginning.

The end.

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☽ Author's note☾ WOW. This is the end. Or is it? Okay. It is butttttttttttttttt @loveforcarl had a fucking great idea and i am gonna go through with it. maybe im writing it right now. 🤭

alternate ending

[puppypopcornpizza]

Survivor's Guilt

One: Sleeve

Two: Guilt

Warnings ➳ self-harm, survivor's guilt, depression

Pairing ➳ Daryl Dixon x F!reader

Word Count ➳ 570

A month of silence. Soft smiles and subtle humor replaced with stiff nods and nothing. The quiet was deafening, painful that his voice would ring of things she wish he'd said. She wanted to listen to pent up words he kept because at least then she'd know. 

But a month went by and he was silent. 

"They're healing up nicely," Denise covered lines and gashes. "I'm glad you came to me before they got infected."

She said it with such a smile, such kindness in her eyes that it seemed feigned. Hands gentle on damaged skin, bandages that should be used for importance instead of stupidity. 

"Thanks for not making a big deal about this," her voice sounded foreign. The last month had been silent. 

"Anything you need, I'm here okay?" Denise squeezed her shoulder, eyes still beaming warmth. 

She nodded, body moving without thought as footsteps carried her into the street. Sun blinding as the heat made longer sleeves warmer. It was normal. 

Daryl sat on the porch, smoke in the air and a curtain of dark over his eyes. Hunched over and deep in his mind, she passed him on the stairs before words left his lips. Gruff and quiet. The month had been silent, after all. 

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Can ya talk?" Eyes over his shoulder, focused on boots to keep from her gaze. 

"Yeah," the stairs felt different. Usual late talks and dozing off on his shoulder seemed too far to grasp. 

"'M sorry," she almost didn't hear him. Fidgeting with his hands, clenching his fist so hard knuckles went white. He was soft spoken and sincere, gentle . 

"'Know it ain't easy for ya, but seein' 'em…" Breathing unsteady, she watched his jaw tense. "Ya said it stopped."

"I know I did."

"Why didn' ya say somethin'?" He glanced to her, pleading eyes meeting broken. 

"It wasn't a problem," her entire body tensed at hearing him sigh. "We had a lot going on, Daryl. It wasn't anything important."

"When're ya gonna figure out tha' yer 'part of this? Tha' yer fuckin' impor'ant to everyone here?" 

She knew he was right, words pouring from him weren't meant to hurt but to try and convince. She pressed her palms into her eyes before speaking, his eyes would break her. 

"I felt guilty," stars in darkness. She couldn't look at him. "I feel guilty about being happy and still being here after everything that's happened."

Blurred vision lifted to pure blue as a bitter laugh escaped. "I feel guilty that I can still laugh while Hershel can't. Lori can't see how amazing Carl and Judith are, and Beth-" 

Tears stung, numb and nothing breaking as she felt her walls break. Chest heavy as fingers trembled. 

"Ya couldn' do anythin'," head lowered to get her to see him. "None of tha' was on ya."

"I know," voice brittle and uneven.

His arm went around her shoulders, pulling her close to his chest. She wanted to curl into him, make everything disappear while his touch ran down her arm and his whisper of assurance. 

"They didn't deserve that," breaking voice muffled into his shirt. 

"They didn', but ya can't hold the guilt."

A silent sob and he squeezed tighter, safety in a world where the concept sounded like a joke. 

"I love you so fucking much," she gripped his shirt. "Please don't die on me, Dixon."

"Only if ya promise the same." 

[pureanonofficial]

This is excellent analysis, and reminds me quite a lot of Marc Kudisch’s take on having played Gaston.

CB:   You spoke about not being a leading man, but you've done a lot of roles where you're this dashing fellow, but there's a goofiness behind it, like Gaston in Beauty & The Beast, which brings us back to the big business of theatre too.

MK:   Well, listen; I've got nothing against money. We all like it. But you can make money and still be artistic. Everything is possible that way. I had originally auditioned for that, a long time ago. I wasn't necessarily ready. The person who played the role originally was Burke Moses, and he was brilliant. He established a structure and a creation that everybody followed from there. I was lucky enough that I came in early to replace Burke when they were going out to Los Angeles. It was eight or nine months after they had opened, so I went in with the original company. I remember when I saw the film originally, I was on the tour of Bye Bye Birdie, and we all went to see it when it opened. I saw that character and thought "Oh God if they ever make a musical of this, I'd love to do it." Who wouldn't? I like to play characters that are self-deprecating in some way. I like playing characters that will end up not as they expect. Maybe the audience expects they're gonna end up that way, but they don't expect it.

CB:   My favorite number in that show is the "Gaston" song where all the townspeople sing about how great Gaston is. All the while he has no clue that he's just this oaf.

MK:   But his vanity ... he's not a stupid character. It's very easy to go that route with those kinds of characters. Gaston's not stupid, he's just so vain that he's blind. He's blind to his own fault. And when he's exposed he in turn exposes his true belly, which is very mean and nasty. I like finding the flaw of a character and absolutely exploiting it.

My favorite line in the show is when Belle says to him "Gaston, you're positively primeval." And he says, "Why thank you." And it's not that he doesn't understand it, he completely does. That's a compliment to him. She means it as an insult and he takes it as a come on.

CB:   People who've only seen the cartoon may not know that the show put back in a couple of songs, including one called "Maison De Lune" where we see that evil and the crafty side you just mentioned.

MK:   And cowardice. There's a certain cowardice there, too. He has to get someone else to do the dirty work. A bully is generally someone who is a coward in one way or another.

It's fun to play characters like that. They don't bend, they snap. Carl-Magnus (from A Little Night Music) is in some ways a similar character; he's a man of his vanity at times. Again, not a stupid man. Unlike Gaston, he's a very honest man. Gaston lies, Carl-Magnus never lies. I like playing Carl-Magnus because he's the most honest person on the stage. People don't think of it that way, they only see the result, not the intent. An actor's job is to see the intent. I always say that in rehearsals. I'm looking for the intent, not the result. When I find the one, I automatically get the other.

Opinions on Gaston? 👀

the way disney was in no way fucking around with their renaissance-era villains... i miss it. i miss it so bad.

part of what makes gaston work so well, i think, is the escalation. his first scene with belle - you could put this interaction in any period romance made in the 1990s, and still confidently convince your audience that they’d be happily ever after in the end, after he works on himself a little.

and, as we were discussing earlier, it is clear that he does, to a degree, care what belle thinks of him! as you said, he really thinks he’s making a good impression, haha. there’s the part where lefou starts making fun of maurice, and gaston laughs along right up until belle objects - and the proposal! it is obnoxious and terrible, to us, the audience, but this is not, like, the gothic villain menacing and threatening the heroine into marriage (at this point, anyway). he genuinely thinks he is delivering belle the greatest news she will ever receive. he genuinely thinks he is going to make her happy. he does not want to hurt her. he just cannot get out of his own ego and worldview enough to comprehend that she would not want to live this way.

fascinating way to handle a villain in this mold, in my opinion.

(and this is just me going wild on interpretation for a second, but i always thought there was something kind of similar going on, when he complains about her reading and goes “the whole town is talking about it.” like, it is not hard for me to imagine his thought process being, like, come on, belle, don’t you just want to be normal, and have friends, and hang out with cool people like ME? it makes life so much easier!)

i think your point about how it doesn’t really make a lot of sense to treat gaston as stupid is true, too! his plotting against belle and maurice is effective and, yeah, he definitely knows what the fuck he’s doing while he manipulates the whole village (although, in fairness, i do not think the villagers are, uh, particularly difficult to manipulate).

ALSO. MAN QUOTES MACBETH. shakespeare exists in this universe. belle and the beast read romeo and juliet in the deleted/restored interlude between “something there” and “human again.” ergo gaston saying “screw your courage to the sticking place!” is AN IN-UNIVERSE SHAKESPEARE REFERENCE. i intend to start bringing the energy people give belle as The Smart Princess to gaston as The Smart Villain for this. (mostly kidding. but my point stands.)

[natsu12291]

Smol smol wuzi wuzimu

[lexumpysfunland]

Who r the other sugar cubes? Since you introduced Sam and Bob I'm now curious

here is a little bio of them:

Sam: the leader! he is keeping an eye on everyone, all his siblings know that they shouldn't make him angry... also makes sure papa is ok.

Bob: he doesn't talk at all, he looks dumb but he is not and is the strongest of his siblings so he follows orders from Sam because he's fair with everyone

Marvin: he's the most bullied of his siblings. he's just an innocent little guy trying to live his life peacefully so he's usually around Sam.

Dale: sleeps almost all day long, he loves sleeping so every time you'll see him he'll probably be asleep.

Howard: knows almost everything about dark stuff from how to summon a demon, to cursing someone you hate, you don't want to be on his bad side...

Walter: he's one of the kind kids who like crafting stuff, he has only one eye because he hurt himself while crafting something... he is positive in his life.

Ray: he's just super dumb.

Carl: he's made fun of because of his right eye so he has a hard life.

Joseph: it's the artist !! draws every time, he's very obsessed with doing stuff perfectly. But out of that, he's very creative.

Harley: a drama queen, she loves causing trouble and putting the blame on his siblings

Josh: he's the bully, so he's always up to bad things

John: He's super chill, like a hippie you know? all about peace and love (yes it's "cliché")

William: believe he has to be treated like a king and is sure to be one

Norman: he is "blind". He doesn't seem like an ordinary being. by that I mean, for persons, he sees colors, and depending on the person's aura it'll have a certain glow. As for objects, they look grey and are not very accurate. you can call him a psychic

Tea: smells like tea and has tea leaves glued on her head thanks to Dave... she's kind and is curious about a lot of stuff that's why she hangs out with Hellen

Hellen: loves dark stuff like demons, eldrich gods, etc... she looks bored and she hates normal people but somehow she doesn't mind having Tea around

Molly: the absolute sweetheart you need to brighten your day but she is very naive ...

Thomas: he doesn't like being in any conflicts and he's usually alone, so everyone believes he's hiding something...

Dave: the chaotic child, he loves danger and he is very aggressive. ye he burned himself because he's a bit stupid too, but he has no regrets. definitely a psycho...

Arthur: the "mister knows all", he's very intelligent and talks perfectly. He's a grumpy little guy because all of his siblings annoy him but Sam maybe...

[podcastenthusiast]

Have a little fic about Woozie's angsty teenage years.

Wu Zi Mu is 14 years old.

He feels cursed. His temper has a hair trigger, and his best friend is a Triad enforcer whom his father pays to ensure he doesn't get kidnapped or fall down the stairs or something.

"Hey, Woozie," says Guppy. He will never admit he actually likes the nickname.

"I don't need a babysitter," he snaps. This car ride can't end soon enough.

"Okay. Just wanted to let you know you're covered in blood."

He is well aware. He could probably have his bullies killed if he desired it, but he doesn't want to be feared like that. Those idiots aren't worth it. Woozie just gets into a lot of fights, that's all. Always has. But these days he throws more punches than he takes.

"Yeah. You should've seen the other guy."

"Your father won't be pleased."

"He doesn't believe I can handle myself."

Guppy sighs. Woozie doubts he believes it much, either.

"There's a first aid kit and spare clothes in the trunk. Are your glasses broken?"

Woozie feels them. The right lens is cracked. He probably has a black eye. Shit. At least it will heal faster than that fucker's hand.

"Fuck. Yeah."

"Glove compartment."

Woozie opens it and retrieves a new pair of dark glasses.

"Why are you doing all this?"

Guppy doesn't answer.

Maybe to save him an additional beating, he thinks later.

--

Wu Zi Mu is 16 years old.

He feels restless. He is blind, but he wants nothing more than to drive a car. Well, there is one thing he wants more: to race.

"No."

"Come on, Guppy. I would split the cash with you if we win. 50/50."

"No."

"I know how to drive. The basics, anyway."

"Empty parking lots and dirt roads are nothing like a street race."

"I'm not stupid. Seriously, what could go wrong?"

Guppy counts on his fingers. "We could be arrested. We could die in a fiery crash. The boss could find out and fire and/or kill me."

"Which is why I need you to...be my eyes, so to speak. It'll be fine."

Guppy sighs. The thing is, Woozie could easily order him. He doesn't like to do that much. But he likes asking for help even less, they both know. He might just drive himself if Guppy refuses.

"...Okay. Get in the car before I change my mind."

He doesn't win the race, in the end. It's not even close. But Woozie has never felt more free and alive in his entire life, so that's all right. There is always next time.

--

Wu ZI Mu is 18 years old.

He has never once fired a gun, which is kind of remarkable given his upbringing and the fact that Guppy never goes anywhere without at least one.

He has also never had sex with a woman, but that doesn't interest him nearly as much.

"The Triads have been engaging in more violence. It's time I learn to defend myself properly," he says. There is a tone of authority in his voice that neither of them have heard before.

Guppy can't really argue with his logic. Their enemies are growing bolder every day. So he starts driving Woozie to the shooting range. He practices until he can hold a gun steady and his aim is as true as it can be, considering.

This might save his life one day. Guppy won't always be there to protect him, after all.

--

Wu Zi Mu is 20 years old.

He is the new Dai Dai Lo of the Mountain Cloud Boys. Part of him already misses when his problems felt simpler, when a lot of things could be solved with a fight.

The Triad needs an even-tempered leader now. He will be what they need, despite his...everything about him.

"Hey, boss," says Guppy, entering his office. "You called?"

"I did."

"Is this about that Blood Feathers deal?"

"No, no. Take a seat. I was just about to have a drink."

He pours two shots and holds one out for Guppy, who accepts.

"You're not 21 yet, are you?"

Woozie smiles. "You know, somehow I think that's the least of my worries, legally speaking."

"I can't imagine why. Underaged drinking is the worst crime there is."

He laughs, feeling the tension in his shoulders ease slightly for the first time in weeks.

--

Wu Zi Mu is 27 years old.

He is in love with Carl Johnson.

Guppy can see it plainly. Both Woozie and CJ apparently can't, and while one of them is blind he doesn't know what the other man's excuse is.

He doesn't think he's ever seen Woozie look happier, though. Like the Triad, CJ would do anything for Woozie, and he clearly feels the same. They are good for each other. That's got to count for something.

He hopes they figure it all out soon. Life is short, especially the sort of lives people like them tend to lead.

[qyllenhaal]

God’s Face in the Fire || Part 2

Dark!Lee Bodecker x Dark!Reader

Summary: A wife who would do anything to give her husband the world, even if it means getting herself involved with his trouble.

Word Count: 10.3k

Chapter warnings: dark themes!!! contains mentions of murder, non-graphic death scenes, smut (loss of virginity in a flashback scene), manipulation, brief mention of sexual assaults, misogyny, uncomfortable situations. Please heed the warnings!!! 18+ only

A/N: It's been forever since I posted. The last two weeks have left me discombobulated that it was hard to find time to sit down to write and edit this, but I'm glad I got to it! The next part is going to be the last part but I have plans to do one-shots for this universe. I'm going to be posting a Senator!Chris fic tomorrow so stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

"You remember when I took you out for milkshakes and you spilled yours all over me? You were wearing that exact same color," Lee said pointing at the dress she was pressing.

"All those years ago, and you still remember that?" Y/n wanted to drown in this tender moment she's having with her husband. Hearing him laugh, his stomach shifting, and his eyes wrinkling.

"How could I? Watching you get all flustered and cute really got me goin’. It's when I knew I was gonna marry ya."

The days have been incredibly warm and beautiful since Y/n had done what she did. It was cruel irony that she was enjoying another day while someone’s body was rotting. The softer moments of life were few and far between these days, but right now she’s offered her a wonderful distraction.

She had taken on more tasks than usual to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts she had. She even accepted a last minute invite to help put on an event at the local rental hall with some of the other mothers in town. It gave her an excuse to look nice and show herself off to anyone who had some doubts about Lee. Things were looking good for him, but there was always something to do to further rehabilitate his image. She always looked her best as the sheriff's wife. Keeping up the appearances exhausted her since they have become more frequent for her. However if she wanted the people to fawn over her lovely family, she had to show up. An arts and crafts event for the kids is also a good chance to get their daughter out of the house.

Teenage Y/n did not see herself becoming a housewife so young. It was unsavory to think about being a homemaker for one of the boys’ at school. She surmised that she would’ve stuck by her original plan if she had not been so lonely. All of Y/n's friends left within a year of graduating high school. She didn't have that many friends to begin with, but she thought that at least one would always be there for her. Rose went to college, and Barbara found a man to marry and moved to upstate New York. Only one stayed for some time, Judith, but she eventually left after having a shotgun wedding. It was selfish of her to think that someone would stay just because she got rejected from the only college she had applied to. Other people had lives and Y/n was just not at the center of them.

The absence of her friends made her pregnancy more lonely. Her baby shower consisted of her family, Lee’s sister, and his co-workers and their wives. None of the women seemed to be fond of Y/n. It always plagued her mind to know if they thought she was too young and stupid or if it was just something else

She found solace in some of the other mother's in town. When she began showing up around to volunteer at bake sales and food drives she expected them to look at her face and then down at her belly and reject her. She is younger than them and feared they'd find her naïve. She had kept to herself for so long that she thought they'd write her off as the sheriff's meek wife.

Y/n didn't get a chance to mingle with anyone prior to her marriage and Lee made it harder by insisting in little ways that she stay in the house. No one was at fault that Lee wanted to keep her to himself. It was possible he did it out of insecurity, but Y/n now speculates that it was because he didn’t want to hear or even see what he may have been doing.

One of the ladies who Y/n only knew by her dark hair and distinct, pointy nose joked that Lee had, "finally let Rapunzel out of the castle." When the other mothers joined into laughter, she felt small. It was only a harmless joke that was steeped in the truth. It took her persistence to no longer wanting to feel alone while being pregnant to get the women to warm up to her, and the did.

"I remember spilling the milkshake, but I was too embarrassed to remember anything else about that night," she admitted.

Lee remembers that night very well. He wishes that she didn't end the night so quickly because she ruined a pair of trousers that could easily be replaced. He had only bought them to impress her, but it didn't take much to get her to swoon over him. No other man was giving her the time of day.

"We should go out to that diner Friday night. Now that we have someone to watch the little one, we don't have to stop by your parents to drop her off anymore. I can just scoop you up and we can have a night together," Lee pressed himself into Y/n's backside. She giggled when his hands lightly danced against her ticklish sides.

Lee had also been aware of the slim moments of intimacy with his wife. He was serious about this race but he truly underestimated how much time and effort he'd have to put into this. But people really did love the old mayor. The only slight Lee had against him was his old age and how some believed that if he kept going then he might run into some health problems. The rumors about him becoming more and more forgetful were minute compared to the dark gossip swirling about Lee though. Some of the people in town would probably vote for a paper bag before Lee.

His biggest fear is that he loses the election and drives his wife away. He could lose the race, but if his wife somehow slipped away, taking their baby with her, he’d drink himself into a stupor. Lee tried his very best to hide his insecurities from her. When he worried, she worried too and it made it much harder for him to plan his way out of whatever hole he is in when he has a hysterical wife to deal with. That's why he'd rather not tell her anything.

Lee also wasn't the young man in his prime anymore, he believed that his good looks were fading, and he has gained a considerable amount of weight. The fear of Y/n just up and leaving him for someone younger than him and riding off to the city always plagued him. The birth of their daughter should've assuaged him, but his self-doubt always lingered like a cloud that made him stick to his vices.

"I've really missed ya honey...missed this body of yours."

Y/n flinched when his hands ran down the front of her body, over her stomach and then circling up back to her breast. Her body has changed considerably since giving birth and the hormonal imbalance left her feeling tired, sad, and alone. Her mother told her that all she had to do was look at her child and she'd feel better, but every time she looked at her little girl all she did was worry. Was she a good mom? Why was her daughter crying so much without much working? Was Lee staying at work for long hours to avoid the crying and her? Did he still find her attractive?

They’re both too busy thinking Lee's mayoral bid to realize they felt the exact same way as each other. If there was any other time that proved they were an extension of each other, it was now, but they were too blind to see it.

"Lee y-you're going to be late for work," her voice was weakened by his lips now nipping at her neck.

"Don't give a damn," he whispered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent, "just wanna feel my wife."

Today, Y/n felt herself slipping back into her normal self and normal life. She melted into Lee, hoping that maybe they could have a moment to themselves, but they were interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. Every early morning and late night phone call had her on edge. They never seemed to be about anything important but it hasn't failed yet to make her stomach churn.

Lee groaned and pulled away from her. She watched him disappear to go answer the phone.

It has been nearly two days and the only thing on her mind is what happened after she left that brothel. The anxiety made her feel sick. Hours later after it happened, around 2 a.m., she woke up and darted to the toilet. Lee kept asking her if she was pregnant as he held her hair back while her face was in the toilet. She dismissed his claims, knowing full and well that she was just sickened by her actions.

Lee had not mentioned a death or anything related to that brothel, so had he even been found? Was his death even reported? The girls who worked for him were probably too worried about their own arrest than the death of their abusive boss.

She wiped the look of worry off of her face when she heard his heavy footsteps coming back up the stairs.

"Who was it?"

"Your brother," his tone held disgust, "invited us to dinner on Sunday. He asked to speak to you but I told him you were still sleep."

"Lee!"

"I don't want to hear it," his voice boomed, much more dominant and rough than hers, "I ain't having dinner with him and I don't want to hear your mouth about it."

Y/n stayed silent and watched him grab the police hat resting on the dresser. She hated for him to leave on such a sour note, but she wouldn't dare say anything in fear she might make things worse.

He started towards the door of their bedroom before turning back to his wife, "Sandy supposed to stop by Saturday. I don't know why, so don't ask, but she claims she's comin'. Who knows if she'll stick to her word."

It’s like Lee did that on purpose, as some sort of sick payback for her brother calling. Y/n was not fond of Sandy and did not like to be around her for more than ten minutes. Sandy was a nice girl, a bit unsavory at times, but her husband Carl was a stain on her life. There was something about him that reminded her of the men her mother had warned her about when she was a young teenager; a man with a slick tongue and a creepy air around him. However, she found Carl much more sinister than that. The look in Carl's eyes when he looked at her and flashed her that unsettling smile was imprinted into her brain. They did not come around much, but when they did it was always a traumatic experience for Y/n.

Lee left the room before Y/n could respond. He knows how Y/n feels, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. She’s not going to protest against it because she knows better than that. He focused on the sound of soft babbling from his daughter as he walked into her room.

"Hey you," she looked up at him with her big eyes and her widening smile that made his heart swell, "you gonna be good for your mama? You've been on a mean streak lately and I'd hate to make good on my threat and put you in baby jail."

His daughter reached up and tried to grab at his face. Lee was clean-shaven now, but for the first few months of his daughter's life he had enough hair on his face for her to grab a hold of. It was funny to see how she still tried to grab at his non-existent hair, pinching his skin in the process.

"Miss the beard little lady? You're just like your mama," he kissed her forehead and felt a deep sense of guilt that he had to leave her to go to work. But everything he did was for her and if he believes that the long hours are going to pay off. All of his work is going to pay off when he wins that race.

-

The dress her daughter wore was blush to complement her mother's golden one. She looked around at every single building and person they passed as if it was her first time seeing it again. Her sense of wonder always made Y/n adore her even more. Y/n wondered what was going on in the little mind of her and what sense she made of the world.

She was never fussy when they were out, which was good for Y/n, but also good for the rehabilitation of Lee's image. He has such a good daughter and pretty wife, he must be doing something right. Every single person who stopped to say hi or coo at how cute her baby was, Y/n wondered if they have ever said something negative about Lee. Y/n never received weird stares or grimaces that would make her paranoid, but she still felt on edge. She always wanted to be on her best behavior, especially when Lee was not with her.

Y/n was forced to be her normal self; cheerful even though her mind was reeling over two nights ago, her sister-in-law, and what the conversation between Lee and her brother this morning may have sounded like. When one of the toddlers thrusted their drawing her face she feigned an excited smile. She hoped the mother's didn't notice her lackluster attitude.

"Y/n , can I speak with you?"

It was Sally's voice that called to her. She looked at the blonde woman with a bit of panic on her face. She thought that she was going to get chewed out by her, especially since she pulled her far away from the other children, and her daughter who was being held by one of the recently graduated girls.

"Is everything alright Sally?"

"I should be asking you that. Why am I hear things about Mrs. Blackwater sayin' she seen your Lee dumpin' bodies in the river behind her house?" At that moment Y/n could not hear her despite her lips still moving. Her blood ran cold at that last name being mentioned. It's been years, close to a decade, since she thought about that old woman, but the mere mention of her name brought Y/n back to a place she didn't want to be.

"I-I...I don't know what she's talking about-"

"My husband and I made a sizable donation to your husband's campaign, and it would be a shame to see him lose," the sugary voice and fake smile on Sally's face made Y/n's stomach ache. She didn't like how some of these women could be so fake because it always made her question if they really liked her or not. But Sally didn't care what Y/n would respond with, all she cared about was her and her husband's reputation, "you're not that much younger than me so you remember them days when that old bitch would be on her porch spewin’ whatever nonsense she could think if at any girl who walked on her sidewalk. No one likes Mrs. Blackwater, but don't think for a second they won't consider what she has to say about that husband of yours. I've heard too many whispers about him and I don't like it. I'll pull my endorsements if you don't fix this shit."

Was murdering one person not enough to save her husband from losing this race? The brothel owner was one person, someone who would not be missed by many people, but could she do something about Mrs. Blackwater?

'That's not right, that's not right.'

No matter how much she tried to shake that evil idea off, it kept creeping into her mind. Murder was the unlikely tool she had in her arsenal all along. It was morally wrong to kill someone, but her victim and the potential one had not been nice people. Mrs. Blackwater's stain on this Earth paled in comparison to Reed's, but that woman made her blood run much colder than the brothel owner.

It was so ironic that Mr. Blackwater was a beloved man in town because no one could stand his wife. They knew not to cross her path and that pies and home cooked meals would not abate her disdain for people. A man who was so kind and friendly was married to the most antisocial person Y/n has ever come across. But he never wasted a moment to sing her her praises. Y/n remembers one of her sons and he was mean just like his mother; a school yard bully that would beat up on anyone he saw as weak and alone. Y/n was lucky that he knew she had an older brother to protect because the Blackwater’s youngest boy never tried anything with her. However, she was not lucky enough to escape the wrath of Mrs. Blackwater. The irony was that she probably would've been better off being a victim of her son. That woman was nasty and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Don't you two get tired of dressing like whores?"

They had to pass the Blackwater house to get to Rose's house. Her house used to be at the end of the street before it got burned down, leaving the Blackwater house the last one on the street. It was nice, and had a big, big porch that Mrs. Blackwater always sat on for most of the day. She didn't stop at calling them just "whores'' and "wenches" either. Y/n never could understand why they always took the brunt of that woman's anger. Rose went home in tears every time she walked by that house. Maybe Y/n's anger is displaced, but she blames Mrs. Blackwater for why Rose was so eager to leave. There wasn't much here, but Rose always promised she'd stay. But ever since they encountered Mrs. Blackwater's misery, Rose had changed.

She could imagine that same venomous voice saying awful things about her husband, "Lee Bodecker put that body in the water. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

The thought of her husband killing someone shouldn't sound so crazy, especially after being able to do it herself. But her Lee can't be a cold-hearted man who slept with whores, murdered people, and ruined people lives. He was so sweet to her, he wasn't always was, but his touch was so soft against her skin, how could he hurt anyone?

Y/n had just turned 19 when she met Lee. He was a deputy, closer to being the sheriff than either of them knew at the time. Their age difference scared her somewhat; she only gave him a chance so she could distract herself from reminding herself that she should be finishing up the last year of being a college freshman. She had the grades and thought her test scores were satisfactory but she got rejected from Indiana University. Her father told her that there is always next year, but her mother told her she should just figure out a new plan.

It was the uncertainty and loneliness that made her get closer to Lee. He was close to his late 20s, unmarried, and he didn't exactly make his loneliness unknown.

He left a sour taste in her mouth in their very first encounter; pulling her over as an excuse to get her number. She gripped the steering wheel to stop them from shaking so much. She only had her license for a few weeks and made sure to be careful in fear of this exact situation happening. His slick talk didn't make her feel that much better either. She was too shaken up to even look at him in the eye or take in any of his features. She just remembered seeing his badge the words DEPUTY SHERIFF etched into it.

Lee let her off, saying she had a "pretty face" and that he hoped to see her around. She didn't think much about their interaction the days after he pulled her over, but she began to see him more than before. Y/n couldn't remember a time she had seen him prior to that one night and found it odd that his face kept reappearing. (He later told her that it was fate, but it was not. Lee purposefully put himself in her orbit. It was not hard to learn what her routine was and when she went out.)

She was weary about his advances, unsure how to react to them because the most experience she's had was with two boys, only one of whom she kissed. Their first date was not by choice either, he just decided to stick by her side while she was at the local dinner by herself.

And he has always stuck by since then, always hovering around her until she realized he was not going to go away and it’d be futile to ignore him. Lee never gave her the chance to make the decision for herself, but his girl was so sweet and she just needed a few cushy words for her to understand that this was where she belonged.

"Do your parents know you're out here meeting me?" It had only been a matter of time before she learned to be very obedient to him; always accepting his plans, even if it meant sneaking out of the house in the midnight hour. The smirk he wore on his face every time he watched her walk up to him left her feeling enchanted.

"Don't talk too loud. If my brother hears you he'll kill you and have my head."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her front to him. Lee groaned at the feel of her breast against his chest. She was so nervous to do anything with him that she only let him kiss her. It was fine for a while, but he had grown tired of waiting. Tired of being teased by her in those soft, pink dresses that would ride up whenever she had to bend over even just a little bit. He couldn't believe how naive she was to believe he was always dropping things like a pencil or his wallet on accident; he just wanted to see her bend over for him just for a chance to peak at what pretty panties she wore that day.

Getting her to come out with him at night was surprising, but the idea of riding in his patrol car was so alluring. The sparkle in her eyes gave him an overwhelming sense of machismo; enough for him to realize he just needs to take what she wants.

The full moon hung in the clear sky and they had a vast, open field in front of them. He took her just to the edge of the county that was secluded and was his favorite spot to go for some quiet (or getting his dick sucked). The moonlight and a few street lights that were actually working were the only light they had.

"You look so pretty today baby," his hand rested on her thigh the whole entire drive but only now did he actually move it to stroke her skin, "you always look so pretty for me. I'm the luckiest man in town."

Y/n giggled and her face felt like it was burning up. No one had taken the time to compliment her sweetly, and that was obvious to Lee. He cradled her face in the palm of his hand and watched her turn into putty. His hand inches closer to her heat causing her to jump like his hand was made of actual fire.

"Relax baby...just relax for me," Lee planted his face in her neck and nipped at it. His lips tickled the skin on her neck and she did her best to suppress her giggles but they spilled from her lips. Lee smirked against her skin, "there she is. There's my girl."

She let a laugh slip through, but she suppressed the moan that was stuck in her throat. It was so odd to feel him on her neck but it was an unfamiliar feeling that she liked. His hand never left her thigh, in fact he had sneakily moved it closer to her sex. She felt ashamed about the growing wetness that she could feel sticking to her.

Lee grabbed her hand and placed it right over the bulge straining in his pants. She let out a heavy sigh when she realized what it was. "That's how hard you make me. You making me so fucking hard girl," he growled in her ears. This was something only the senior girls from her high school could dream about when they talked about hooking up with their boyfriends. None of them were even half the man Lee was, and here he was: hard and ready just for her.

"L-Lee," her voice broke into bits, her body overheating from Lee taking control, "wait, can we slow down?"

"You taste so sweet baby," he continued kissing her, ignoring her until she was pulling away from his grasp. "What's wrong girl?" The furrowing of his brow made her worry that she pissed him off. Lee was all she had, he convinced her to put away her dream of going to college and stay here for him, if she ran him off then she'd have nothing else.

"I'm just nervous. I’ve never done this before Lee," she hoped her honesty went a long way and would make him take her home instead. But all it did was make him readjust himself in his seat and pull away from her rather coldly.

Lee was irritated with her, she got him all hard, but he did his best to temper his anger. She's lucky that he was on the job all day and didn't have a chance to drink yet or else she'd see the side of him that he purposely hid from her.

"Don't be nervous baby. You know I love you right?" She nodded her head with her wide eyes holding a sad look in them, "good girl. Let me show you something."

Lee patted his lap and Y/n looked at him with apprehension.

"C'mon now," he patted his lap once again, this time with a bit of impatience in his voice.

Y/n awkwardly shifted over the center console of his patrol car and found herself in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She tried to ignore how his bulge poked at her slit through her cotton panties.

"You ever been in a car this nice before?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, somewhat distracted by the beautiful interior and his cock poking at her. The only car she's ever drove was the shitty one that was passed down to her. Lee's patrol car doesn't look like it's more than five years old.

Seeing her look in wonder at the dash made him even harder. He began to rut against her, trying to feel as much friction as he could, but it wasn't enough to satiate a man who has been waiting a few months for this.

He sat back and started fumbling with his pants. Y/n heard the sound of the metal on his belt and unzipping of his pants but she froze on top of him instead of moving. She grabbed the steering wheel and held onto it as tight as she did the night he first laid eyes on her. Her alarm rose when Lee lifted her up a little to push her panties to the side.

"Lee what are you doing-"

"Shhh baby don't worry, I got you."

The sensation of his head poking at her slit and her sliding down him was unspeakable. She was uncomfortable with his splitting size, but he didn't move her at all, trying to give her some time to adjust but it was just so hard for him to restrain himself. She was so tight and warm, and definitely untouched by any man. "Fuck," he mumbled warmly in her ear. She felt him wrap his arm tighter around her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to somehow run away from him. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't know her way back home and she'd be stuck out here. She was safe with Lee even though she found herself feeling more confusion than pleasure.

Those girls from her high school days had to been lying to her, sex didn’t feel all that magical; his patrol car was not a romantic place to lose her virginity. Lee rocked her on his cock slowly as she tried to find the same pleasure that he was experiencing. His heavy breath was on her ear as she stared straight up into the night sky.

"You feel so good. You feel so fucking good baby."

His pleasure is what made her want to stay on top of him like this. She cared for him so much and she just wanted Lee to be proud of her. The "good girl" that continuously spilled from his lips sounded like a hymn she wanted to memorize.

Y/n let Lee have his way with her body. He groped her breast through her dress and then let his hands graze her sides. She wondered what he was doing when his hand slipped into her panties, but the warmth that shot through her made her mind go blank. Lee rubbed at her sensitive bud and she constricted around him. Instead of whimpering, she was now fully moaning; the way it felt so good had put her discomfort into the back of her mind.

"Oh fuck -- move your hips girl. You feel so good."

He rubbed her harder as a reward for swirling her hips against him. She began to bounce on top of him and he no longer had to do the hard work, just lean back and feel her engulfing him in her warmth.

"Lee," she whimpered, unsure of herself, but then she called his name again, "Lee," as if to let him know that he was the one giving her pleasure.

Lee knew he wasn't going to last, not when she was as tight and wet as she was. He can't remember the last time he took someone's virginity, nor when he was this hard. It was clear to him that she had no idea what she was doing by the way she bounced on him without a rhythm. Sometimes she'd stall herself before moving fast again. It didn't irk him, he found it endearing that she was so inexperienced. He was going to have to show her a lot of things and get her to fuck him to his liking.

Y/n gasped when Lee pulled out of her and jerked himself until white liquid was splashing on the back of her panties. She'd have to wash them before her mother saw the stain.

"You did so good baby, taking my cock like a big girl," he placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, still trying to catch his breath while she shifted on top of him. He put himself away and nudged her towards the empty passenger seat. She was silent the entire time he drove her home. A sense of pride filled her because she had made Lee feel good. The sex itself was too weird to describe as being good, but she liked how she felt inside when he told her she felt good and that she made him cum. That's all she wanted to do was please Lee.

-

Saturday morning proved to be another beautiful day. It seems as if Summer didn't want to leave just yet even though October was near. There wouldn't be many more opportunities for Lee to make his impressions and sway the last few voters not on his side.

The event had been boring at most, but Sally's words really shook her up. No one in town would deny that Mrs. Blackwater has always been a bitter women, but they also wouldn't necessarily turn the other cheek if she starts going around saying that Lee Bodecker is a murder. Y/n's new problem made her forget about the decaying brothel owner. She doesn't care how mean the whole town thought the old woman was, she wanted her gone.

"You slept in. Did I tire you out last night?" Lee had the same smug smirk on his face that has been imprinted on her brains since their early years together.

Y/n nodded even though it wasn't completely truthful. She slept so hard because she's mentally spent and it was finally catching up with her body. Lee had been too distracted to notice how distant she was last night and how she is still distant now. In his eyes, as long as she was eager to lay under him then everything was fine.

Most mornings started like this: Y/n waking up next to her still tired husband and waiting to hear her daughter crying for her. He trudged out of bed and she heard him beat a path down the hall to the bathroom. There was still no sound of her daughter needing her, giving her some time alone. It was nearly silent except for the faint sound of the shower going. She breathed deeply and found herself feeling serene. Just five minutes without the memory of Sally threatening to pull her and her husband's support taunting her.

"Y/n! Do you not hear her crying?" Lee held a stern look on face, he must have been standing there for a few minutes. His towel was wrapped around his waist, stomach hanging over the soft white cotton, "what's wrong with you girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing Lee. I'm just still a lil' tired."

His face softened at her explanation but he nodded his head towards the door so she could take care of their daughter. Y/n hurried not to upset him for the rest of the day.

Their baby was just fussy and hungry. Her little eyes weren’t that red so she hadn’t been crying for long. “You hungry?” Her daughter somewhat understood what her mother was saying because her eyes went wide. The nightgowns Lee had bought Y/n made it much easier for her to pull herself out of them to feed their girl. She could see her daughter calming down, eyes closing once again. Y/n thought about keeping her daughter with her but she needed to rest in her crib. She placed her down gently as not to disturb and wake her again. At least one person in this family deserves peace.

"Back to sleep?" Lee's voice startled her, but the hand on her hip soothed her. Y/n nodded, never taking her eyes away from her girl. "Precious isn't she? So sweet when she's not fussin' about."

"She only fusses because she's teething, and she misses her father."

"Honey, you know why I'm at work longer than usual. It's for her. It's for you. It's for us. Do you know how much better her life, your life, is going to be better after I win that race?"

"But what if you don't win?"

Y/n rarely questions Lee, not even over small things, so he was confused as to why she was questioning him now. Did his wife not believe in him? She worried a lot, but when he first ran for sheriff, she was not this doubtful.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Lee, I didn't say that. It's just that people been talkin' and -"

"And you believe them? So my own wife doesn't think I'm going to win because a few people can’t got some things wrong?”

Y/n flinched as his voice got louder. The brashness of his voice woke their girl up from her attempt to fall into a deep sleep. Instead of waking up and silently looking around, the first thing that came from her was a cry. It served as a way for Y/n to escape Lee's wrath. She pulled her crying daughter into her arms and held her close to her chest. One glance at Lee's face and she knew he was going to deal with her later. But for now he just sighed and walked out of the nursery.

"Aww don't cry honey. It was just your daddy, okay? He's not mad at you sweetheart. Don't cry...don't cry," Y/n's voice cracked and tears slipped down her face. Her pleas were more for herself than they were her daughter.

Lee's hesitance to address the obvious problems he faces in regards to the election made Y/n feel uneasy. All she wanted was for her husband to just outright say he never did those things, but he never did. And if Y/n has resulted to murder, then she knows deep down that he did some of those things that people allege. There were just things that were too loud to drown out. The business when it came to solving a string of murders that happened a few years ago and people talking about him didn't affect him when he was going for re-election. There was no one else that had a strong enough presence to go against him and the folks in town figured that Lee gets enough done as far as crime goes, even though he could do more.

Y/n should be tired of trying to clean up his mess when he was so short with her. However it is not entirely his fault; he does not know. Maybe one day he'll learn and be grateful for what she has done for him.

-

Lee just couldn't stop reminding her that Sandy and Carl were coming over. It's almost as if he knew it got under Y/n's skin and used it against her after she hurt his feelings this morning. He's a sensitive one, even though he hides it well from most people, but her moment of vulnerability wasn't meant to hurt him. Though if their conversation had progressed any further, she might have spilled what she did to the brothel owner. She may want to believe Lee would be proud of her, but she cannot be so sure. It's sickening to assume that someone would be proud of a murder. She quickly began to feel dirty after a few minutes with her own thoughts ever since Lee snapped at her.

"Can you clean up? We're going to be having guests soon."

There were just a few baby toys on the floor but it was best not to make things worse with Lee (even though those toys were going to end up in the same place anyway).

Lee stepped outside as Y/n put their daughter in her high chair. Ever since her birth Lee was mindful not to smoke in the house; it was one of the house rules Y/n proposed that he was surprisingly very accepting of. She had taken away most of the things that he used to destress: alcohol, cigarettes, and candies.

She heard the motor of a car and Lee's muffled voice. She knew it was them, but hoped they were just making a short trip over. It's not like Lee likes Carl, and he's constantly complaining about his trouble making sister. Y/n hates that Sandy uses their daughter as an excuse to come over. She wouldn't mind if Sandy came alone, but she hated Carl around her little girl and she's sure Lee feels the same way.

Y/n's mother had gotten their daughter such a stupid gift when she was born. A baby that's not even half a year old yet didn't need a toy that had a million little pieces they could easily choke on, but of course it was her favorite thing to place with. Lee never cleaned up the mess, it was always Y/n who was doing it. She tried her best to pick everything up before they stepped inside but she heard the front door open. She tensed up, but she only heard the heavy footsteps of one person, and god did she hope it was Lee.

"What you doin' down there?"

Her eyes trailed up and Carl was gazing down at her. Words got caught in her throat and she clutched her hand around one of the toy pieces, the edges of it painfully digging into her palm.

"Did I scare you?"

The smirk on her face made her want to shriek. She noted that he didn't call her "darlin'" like he used to. She can only guess what Lee did to him when he "took him out back" after calling her that for a few years.

"Where's my niece?"

Y/n shot up, not caring about the toys still on the floor. She'll be damned if Carl is alone with her daughter for even a second.

Sandy came in with Lee following behind her. He gave Y/n a look of understanding, he too hoped this was going to be a short visit. The sound of Sandy fawning over her niece overtook the room. Their daughter giggled and babbled at her aunt as if she could understand her.

"Y/n go make us some ice tea."

Usually Lee doesn't command her to do things, unless he was stressed or horny. She knew her was the former by the look on his face. He was aggravated and this visit wasn't going to make him feel any better. As Y/n left the room, Sandy sat down on their couch with their daughter in her arms. Carl sat next to them, making the alarm in Lee rise.

"I got you something honey," she pulled out a little doll from her purse. It looked tattered and Lee wondered where she got it from.

"You know she already has enough dollies," Lee joked. It didn't matter to his girl, it was a new toy, "got anything for your brother?"

Sandy eyes him before pulling out a small bag of candy. She tossed it to him and he caught it, "I knew you'd ask for somethin'"

He opened it and instantly popped a sweet cherry candy into his mouth.

"Y/n's not letting me drink since the girl is so young. This is the only thing I got, even though she's on my ass about that too," Lee knew that Sandy wasn't too interested in the ins-and-outs of his everyday life but he gets tired of complaining to his deputies.

"Yea, I bet," she kept a snide comment about her sister-in-law to herself. The box of cigarettes she had calling her name we're going to have to wait. "How's that mayor race going?"

"It's going."

"Heard that whore house owner croaked," Carl's voice carried to the kitchen and Y/n paused, "found in unusual circumstances...chairs pushed up against the door...poisoned. Reckon one of those girls got tired of him holdin' them down-"

"No smoking in the house," Lee interrupted when he noticed Carl reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Carl laughed as if he wanted to challenge Lee, but his hand went back to resting on the back of the couch.

"Wouldn't want this little darlin' smellin' like a bar."

Anytime Carl spoke at or about her daughter, Y/n wanted to vomit. Carl is not nice. She wonders how twisted Sandy might be to marry someone who is awful to women and has no filter.

There was a cloud of fear over her head when Carl was around. She wishes Lee was more apprehensive but Sandy's his little sister, and he cares for her no matter how much those two causes. Things would be different if Y/n had told Lee about that time Carl pressed himself against and put his hand up the skirt of her dress. His threat would forever bounce off her skull and it only got louder when he was near. "Shut you're fucking mouth or else your husbands gonna see his slut wife bending over for another man." She was five months pregnant and had no way to defend herself. He only groped her, but she always wondered if he would've gone further if Sandy hadn't come in looking for the cooking tongs Lee told her to fetch. Sandy knew something had happened, but she said nothing. Y/n's disdain for her only grew from that day on.

Lee redirected the conversation from what Carl had started to something a bit more asinine. He didn't want to talk about something work-related because he didn't need to be stressed out any further. Reed’s death wasn't another blow to his reputation like Lee thought it would. It was going to be another unsolved murder from the way it was looking though. The people assumed one of the girls did it. The place had been emptied out; it surely looked different from when Lee was last in there. Lee was lucky that Reed was extremely disliked, unlike that preacher Roy who died some years ago. More people said "he had it coming" instead of "why isn't the sheriff doing anything?"

He laughed about it though. When he was alone in the car after leaving the crime scene, he laughed. There was no more worrying about the rumor that Sheriff Lee Bodecker beat one of his girls. When Lee did go to that place, he was never forceful. Lee could be mean towards women at times, but he was never violent.

-

If Lee was called in on a Sunday morning, then it was very important. He woke Y/n up at 5 am and kissed her out of her confused state to say goodbye. She only slept for another hour after laying her head down back on the pillow.

This morning felt so different.

The morning she woke up knowing her task was to deal with Reed, she was distracted and jumpy. But she had grown so accustomed to her guilt that it's become a comfortable feeling. Mrs. Blackwater was a more personal score to settle. That woman was throwing dirt on Lee's name, but the turmoil she caused her teenage friend would never leave her mind. Y/n had learned how cruel someone could be without physically hurting you. The boys on school grounds were annoying brats, but that woman had a truly awful mouth.

The Petersons’ daughter was over right after church. She had a wide smile on her face, happy that Mrs. Bodecker was giving her another opportunity to make some money.

"She's been a fairly good mood lately," Y/n handed her daughter off to the shorter teenage girl, "she slept through the night for once, but she's still gonna need a nap. Once she starts fussin' put her in her crib. I should be back before Lee."

Y/n wished her well and the Petersons girl wished Y/n a good time running her errands. It was comical to think of this as an errand, even though today she was going to treat it like one.

She was in Lee's nice car again meaning she was going to have to temporarily get rid of it. Y/n put much more effort into this, her haphazard plan to take out Reed could've gone horribly wrong. She spent her time snooping around town when she was out with one of her mom friends. The plan had been simple: park the car at the crowded grocery just two blocks away from the Blackwater house. The house sat at the end of the street, a bit separated from the other row of houses because of the larger amount of land they owned. It wouldn't be a problem to walk to the house seeing as others in this neighborhood do the same thing.

When her mother had made that dress for her to wear to the Spring Formal, Y/n cried, saying she was going to look like a nurse instead of "the prettiest girl in town" like Jim, the guy who asked her to the dance said. A teenage grievance had somehow come in handy almost a decade later. It was under a long coat that was a bit abnormal for this warm day.

Y/n felt sickly confident. That only thing she worried about was Lee cruising through and seeing his car in the parking lot. But the grocery store offered a great cover. The sun was covered by a thick cloud as she walked away from the grocery store and to the old Blackwater house.

That porch still looked the same. It was old and rickety, squeaking as she stepped on it, she's surprised it didn't give it away some years ago. The rocking chair Mrs. Blackwater sat on while terrorizing people was no longer there. At least her days of scaring off the newer generation of kids were over.

Y/n knocked on the door and waited. She had to knock again, and by the third time she wondered if the old lady did the job for her!

"Who is it?" The voice was much more frail, but it was that voice.

"I'm here to help!" The upturn of her voice at the end made her statement sound more like a question.

The locks on the door began to click and Mrs. Blackwater peered at her.

"You're not the one they always send."

"Oh, she's sick today! I'm just filling in for her today!" After two weeks of watching, Y/n learned what days Mrs. Blackwater's nurse came and went. She came everyday but she was absent on Sundays. It's somewhat astounding that Mrs. Blackwater didn't ask about Y/n turning up on a Sunday.

"Ahh whatever," she dismissed, unlocking the screen door, and wheeling backwards in the wheelchair that she had been relegated to a few years ago.

Y/n didn't know what to expect when she stepped inside, but it wasn't too far off from how her parent's house looked; black and white photos littering the walls and stacks of paper that probably could've been thrown away a decade ago. What is different from her parent's home is that this place is an utter mess. The nurse that usually comes to take care of her could at least tidy it up a bit. With how much she hated everything, Y/n would've assumed she hated mess too, but her home says otherwise. This lady was an absolute hoarder.

"Don't bother me," Mrs. Blackwater sniped at her. She wheeled herself next to the couch and glued her eyes to the black and white television screen.

Y/n doesn't know how many hours Mrs. Blackwater spent sitting there and watching The Andy Griffin Show. She didn't laugh when something funny happened, she just sat there still, sometimes grumbling to herself in reaction to what was happening on screen.

The least Y/n could do was tidy up a bit. It would be a kind gesture to leave her to die in a presentable place.

Mrs. Blackwater is not going to die a violent death. She was awful, but she did not deserve the brutality like someone who has done physical harm did. (If she was just a little bit braver, she would've hacked him to death, but the sight of blood makes her ill). Mrs. Blackwater was up in age, nearing her 90s, and it would be time for her to go soon anyway. Y/n dusted around the TV, one of the last things this old woman may see. All the photos of people on the walls were staring at her as she moved about cleaning the dust from the frames. So many people, many dead but most probably alive. Mrs. Blackwater had children and probably grandchildren but no one came to visit her. Her tongue was sharp, but how could no one come and visit their aging mother?

"Stop moving so damn much. Sit down girl."

The venom was still in her voice. It would never go away, at least not until she dies. This woman didn't appreciate anything and enjoyed being miserable. Y/n listened to her like that scared little teenager she used to be. She sat on the couch, a few feet away from Mrs. Blackwater who had not taken her eyes off the TV or moved at all. Y/n was spending time with a woman who was going to die at her hands today. If she's going to die then at least she's going to die doing what she loves; watching her shows and bitching out the closest person in reach.

She had only moved to grab the newspaper from the table on the other side of her. It was Friday's addition, Y/n could tell from the photo on the cover. She couldn't help but eye the old woman as she read the paper. It has been probably three hours and she hasn't even asked for anything to eat.

"People droppin' like flies in this shit hole."

Y/n's ears perked up, but she didn't say anything, she just let the lady talk.

"Leroy should know better not to do that shit here...especially with that corrupt sheriff around...would've had an easier time gettin' away with it in the city. Everyone in the city already does all that illegal shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Now he’s dead."

Y/n had heard that name before. She remembers vividly Lee chewing someone out on the phone and saying their name with contempt. Leroy, Leroy, Leroy. The name "Bobo" also came up in the conversation a few times. Y/n wanted to be mad at Mrs. Blackwater for referring to her husband as "corrupt" but something nagged at her to keep the conversation going for her sake.

"W-what do you mean?" Her voice cracked but it was ignored by the old woman.

"You must not be from here. Everyone knows that if you get caught up with that fat bastard sheriff you must be doin’ some awful shit. The only reason why he keeps gettin' re-elected is because everyone is scared of him. It doesn't matter how many babies that man has, he's a killer...dragging that man's body and fucking up carnations..."

No one had ever talked to Mrs. Bodecker about her husband like this. Town gossipers had the decency to wait until she left the room to say something about him. But she's not Mrs. Bodecker right now. It does not matter anyway because the old lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She hasn't spent the hours with Lee, with him being sweet and so soft with his daughter. Y/n firmly believes that if Lee did indeed kill someone then it was for a good reason. She knows her husband involves himself in dirty things, but it had to be for a good reason. Lee did not show brutality for no reason; he didn't get his rocks off on hurting innocent people.

"People can change. I'm sure he's a different man now."

"Why!? Because he got a bitch and a bastard? You are too naïve...at least the other girl they send has some more sense in her head. No man is going to want to marry a dumb girl."

An awkward silence surrounded them but it was mostly felt by Y/n. She found herself frozen with a ball of rage and anxiety in her stomach. But she had no time to dwell for much longer though.

"I'm thirsty...go make me something."

Y/n noticed Mrs. Blackwater flinching when she grabbed the remote to turn the volume higher. She either had arthritis or just pain in her hands.

"Okay...do you need to take any pills at this time?"

"My husbands gone and my children don't visit me. You think I care about taking my pills?"

Maybe Mrs. Blackwater would be kind to her if she knew Y/n was going to take her out of her misery. Breaking open the capsules and dumping it in the tea she made for her is going to do the job. She might succumb to a heart attack, or pass peacefully. The only person Y/n felt bad for was the poor nurse who was going to find her dead tomorrow morning.

-

Lee was able to leave his shift earlier than expected. Sundays are very quiet, the only thing he got up to was paperwork at the station. He could go home early to his wife, play with the girl while Y/n makes dinner, and get a nice ride from his wife while their daughter sleeps. Y/n said something about needing him to pick up some chicken stock from the grocery store.

People filled in and out of the grocery store as the sun began to set. A few people spoke to him, never for too long knowing that he's not fond of small talk. But more people being friendly with him was a good sign. Even without his sweet wife next to him, no one shied away from saying hello to the man running for Mayor.

Two boxes of chicken stock should be enough even though his wife sent him for three. The brand she likes isn’t exactly cheap. Lee promptly made his way to the cashier who greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening sheriff!" her voice was sweet and she batted her eyes a few times. Lee offered her a smile, but a small laugh escaped. This girl couldn't be younger than 20 but she fawned over him like a young school girl. Her behavior reminded him of Y/n when she was that age. "Darlene said she saw your car in the parking lot but didn't get a chance to catch Mrs. Bodecker herself."

Lee stopped caring about the items (a few snuck in there for him) being rung up. His brows furrowed and the girl realized that she had said something maybe she shouldn't have.

"My wife was here?"

"That's what Darlene said. Her shift ended right as I was coming in so I wasn't there when it happened...do you still want the chicken stock?"

"Yea yea just ring it up."

Lee's mind was too preoccupied with the weird behavior his wife has been exhibiting for the last several weeks. She often hovered over him when he was on the phone like she was interested in what he was talking about. All the swearing and terms she didn't understand kept her from asking what his loud, and often abrasive, phone conversations were about. But now she was listening a little too hard for his liking.

The only time Y/n was supposed to drive their car is if Lee told her she could or if there was an emergency. A trip to the grocery store did not fall under either of those categories. But it was particularly weird to him that she would go to the store when she told him to go himself. If she had forgotten something, she would have not hesitated to call the station. Something was up with her.

Everything felt normal as he stepped into the house. The smell of what she was cooking hit his nose and the familiar noises of his daughter babbling louder than the Y/n moving around the kitchen. If he had no questions for his wife, then he'd feel all warm inside walking into his home in this current state.

Y/n was talking to their daughter as if she was holding a real conversation with her. Their daughter started squealing when she saw Lee appear in the doorway. He put his index finger to his lips to tell her to quiet herself, but she was only louder.

"I couldn't believe it either! They said the hairdresser purposefully dyed Marie's hair darker," she spoke, thinking her daughter was just squealing because she was talking to her and not because her husband was creeping up behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist and she nearly jumped. "Oh yea? Is that what the town is gossipin' about today?" Lee's familiar voice soothed her and she turned around in his arms. She deftly kissed him and looked up at him.

"Wanna know what else I heard?" He whispered to her. Y/n nodded, a smile spreading on her face as she rested her forehead against his, "heard the sheriff's wife been out and about and driving his nice car."

Y/n's smile fell from her face, but it only made Lee smile wider.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out?"

"I needed something from the store."

"So my task to pick up the chicken stock after work was for nothing?"

"No...I went to my parents house...didn't want to go empty-handed. You know how my mother gets."

What a sweet little liar.

But she still had the smell of an old house lingering around her so maybe it wasn’t completely a lie. Still, he knew something was up with her.

“How was work?” She quickly tried to change the subject. Lee was not really in the mood to interrogate her, it was Sunday after all. He sat down in the chair next to his daughter's high chair. She started reaching for his hat but he was too far away, so Lee rested his head on the tray and let her have her fun. Y/n was probably going to be mad at him for putting his head where she eats and getting all of his “outside germs” all over it, but he didn’t care.

“I’m tired,” he confessed, a heavy sigh escaping him, “I’m really fucking tired.”

Y/n wishes she could lift more of her husband’s burdens. Killing people who were talking about him did not get rid of the core problem. Sometimes she wishes he never decided to run for mayor. Life was so much more comfortable when he would run unopposed for county sheriff. Instead her husband had a bigger dream. From the very beginning she felt like it was a long shot that this would be successful, but they had gotten so far in changing how most of the people viewed Lee. And even though they felt a way about him, they still respected the sheriff.

“It’s going to be over soon. I promise.”

He truly wanted to believe her, but the sinking feeling that the past was going to catch up with him was not going away.

[hotchley]

heyy sumayyah! firstly: i'm so sorry you got hate asks >:( some people really can't be nice... that sucks. i'm back with my hc to (maybe, hopefully) distract you/cheer you up!! just saying, it's LONG and it's kind of angsty in the beginning lmao sorry oops, but it gets a little better towards the end!! i promise!!

tw mentions of (bad) eating habits, very briefly implied abuse/domestic violence and alcoholism, brief mention of almost-fainting!!

so my own horrible eating habits got me thinking of Hotch who already doesn’t eat that much because of how he was raised (on his father’s bad days, his mother wouldn’t even be able to get up to make food and his father would be batshit drunk anyway, so no one made food and there’s nothing at home, and Hotch is too young and doesn’t know how to cook for himself, and that just carried its way into adulthood even after he learnt to cook (for Sean, because Sean is a growing boy and still has to eat and he would do anything to make sure Sean grows up happy) and even after he gets together with Haley, who always has to check in on him to make sure he's eating properly)

like, man would throw himself into his work, sometimes not on purpose but because he just was so intent on finishing just one more document, and time just slipped by and when he looks up again it’s 8pm, the bullpen’s almost empty, and then he realises that he actually hasn’t ate anything since he had his morning coffee. and after especially bad cases (Vincent Perrotta, Carl Buford, Tobias Hankel, that case on the pig farm, Foyet, etc.) he just, avoids food on purpose, distracting himself by finishing all the paperwork he has, even if they’re not urgent, sometimes even completing the team’s paperwork (as much as he can) just because he feels like he’s failed them. the team doesn't deserve to be bogged down by all these bureaucratic issues but he does, because what good is his role as their unit chief if he can’t even shield them from the evil out there, if he has to send his team into the abyss every single time and every time someone else gets more injured/fractured, and the least he could do is to help out the team with what he’s best with, right? all those behind-the-scenes, messy, cutthroat politics, because it’s okay if he takes the brunt of the scrutiny of the brass and if he could he would not even let the team relive what they’ve been through because they don’t deserve that, they don’t deserve having to recount their traumatic experience in a bloody report that will eventually just be filed and chucked aside but will leave emotional and mental scars on his agents that will never be erased.

or sometimes he’s just stressed out and anxious and food just really doesn’t go well with his stomach, and he opts to skip meals entirely - he drinks coffee only because he still needs to keep awake, to make sure he’s paying full attention on all these cases and victims and his team who deserve his 120%, and because his stomach’s been conditioned to accept coffee no matter what (over 10 years of being in the BAU after over another 5? years as a prosecutor, where he drank coffee like his life depended on it). and sure, he’s lost weight, his ribs slightly showing when he raises his hands to reach for things/take off his sweaters, sure he’s looked a little more gaunt and tired as the years go by, sure he’s had some almost fainting spells in his office after a long day without food, where his vision just blacks out for 5 seconds after he stands up and he has to clutch onto the edge of his desk to stabilize himself, but it's okay to him, because he must be the strong, stoic, reliable leader for his team and he can’t faint in his office, not when the blinds are open and the team can look in and when he knows that Derek, Emily and Spencer are all looking in concerned because he hasn’t left his office all day

and i’m just also thinking about how the team would just, do their best to feed him??? like, when they stop for gas on long road trips to/back from cases, he always doesn’t buy anything besides a coffee (black, as usual, with just a dash of sugar and cream on good days) for himself, but then JJ passes him an unopened nutri bar which she claimed she bought earlier for herself but now 'doesn’t feel like eating anymore', Dave silently hands over a cookie (chocolate chip, his favourite) and stares at him with his eyebrows raised until Aaron accepts the cookie and actually eats it, Derek slips a wrap into his hands somehow and offers to drive because 'Hotch, you gotta finish your wrap', Spencer casually asks Hotch if he can help him finish off this sandwich which he bought but cannot finish, and Hotch looks down and sees a perfectly fine egg and ham sandwich which hasn’t even been bitten into, but Spencer’s looking at him with those eyes (he thinks of Jack and how strikingly alike his sons they are) so he takes the sandwich and eats it, Emily openly challenges him and says ‘here’s the bag of chips i owe you, you better finish it all because i took the trouble of actually getting them or else’ and he goes along with it because he’s learnt that arguing with her is sometimes equivalent to arguing with Penelope, and that mostly ends up with him going along with both their ‘suggestions’ in the end anyway, and on the rare cases where Penelope goes with the team out into the field, she always packs homemade cookies and cupcakes that are so wonderfully bright and colourful, like everything about her, and when she gets to him with those sparkling hopeful eyes and says ‘I made these myself, come on, have a taste and let me know what you think?’, Hotch can’t help but accept it because he doesn’t ever want to disappoint Penelope and make her sad, because her bubbly and innocent demeanour reminds him of Jack and he would never do anything to kill that bright light that is Penelope

aND I’m getting some big emotions. imagine all the subtle (& not so subtle) things the team does just to make sure he eats (regularly) which may include and are not limited to: inviting themselves over to Hotch’s house for homecooked meals (Spencer, Derek), inviting him & Jack out on outings or playdates which most often than not end with them at restaurants where Hotch eats because Jack needs a good role model on healthy eating behaviours and he’s got to be that for Jack (Derek, Emily, JJ), or just showing up at his house/office to leave him baked goods/cooked meals that were always somehow ‘extras’ or ‘leftovers’ (JJ, Penelope, Rossi, Spencer) i'm sorry this got so long!! it was written a little over a month ago when i was procrastinating on my literature essay in the middle of the night, so i got a little angsty LOL. i hope this distracts you somewhat from the horrible ask you got! take care of yourself! sending love and hugs <33

🌙

Putting my answer below the keep reading for scrolling x

Aww thank you for sending it!! When I saw I had an ask, I really thought it was you, and then it was that stupid anon and I was like: Oh okay then... I have to go eat dinner so....

Ohh... his childhood... the poor kid would've been so much smaller, but so determined to do everything for Sean because that's his little brother and he loves him more than anything... I love Haley though <3

He would so do that though. He would tell himself he could eat once he's done something- which is really unhealthy, if you're reading this do not ever withhold food, if you're feeling hungry just eat something it doesn't matter what it is because something will always, always be healthier than nothing- and then he would pick something else up and the cycle would repeat...

He would convince himself the coffee is enough, that there's nothing wrong with his habits because he's never done anything different, but he would know deep down that it's not right. But he still wouldn't eat anything because he knows it'll make him naesous either way.

The worst part is what are the team meant to do in that situation? They can't force him to eat... as much as they may want to, they can't...

YES! The team would have a tally chart of who last had to make Hotch eat, so they would have a rota, and occasionally (all the time actually) they would deviate from said rota and then they would all look at each other and then laugh because eh, it's fine!

That ending was so cute, I love them <3

Noo!! Don't be sorry it go so long, I love it so much!! I might have to work it into a fic... wait... one of them may have referenced JJ giving him in a sandwich, unless that was only in my head lol

[sircarolyn]

kuala lumpur thoughts:

ah famously everyone's least favourite episode excepy it's ok! i'm martin crieff blind so i only remember the carolyn + arthur bits and boy am i excited fot them

in fact i think s2 is my least favourite y'know, or at least the one i listen to least of all

carl <3

arthur and his car and honestly those things are really valid reasons for not liking a car

ohhhh the mystery passenger <3 bless arthur so much

'how the gods smile upon me' i shall say it once now and once in a little bit even though i shall think it a good deal more: stephanie cole's delivery of lines is beautiful and i love her

'rats and cobwebs and skeletons' hsjsksks yeah i bet it is my love i bet it is

martin is so damn obnoxious in this episode but i guess bless him that no one invited him to the pub

arthur and his lies <3 arthnold manacatsaman is a name that haunts me so much

carolyn honking the plane horn ahdjsjjsk

i think the worst bit in this episode is that douglas and martin are back to being the Worst to each other like in early series 1 but like they've grown since then and this just feels like the animosity of before

carolyn just going along with arthur's 'lies' god them

literally their relationship means so much to me like carolyn knows exactly what he's going to say <3

'i'd still quite like to write it down'

mate douglas having martin on is so painful

'how did i do?' arthur hun you did one customer

arthur's microwave instructions gajdjsjs and getting confused with which person he's talking to i love him

'he's not stupid' 'yes he is' i love how much she hates customers

martin love you don't need to lie everyone knows you don't know squat about sports please stop trying to be one of the lads

unfortunately only having one topic of conversation which one is able to do well is Relatable

stephanie cole's different accents literally make my heart feel so full i love her

I was friends with a celiac in my last year of undergrad and literally this conversation 'i'll try not to be too gluten annoying' went around my head literally six times a day

how can he not know about bread, oh arthur <3 i think also finnemore hams up arthur's daftness a bit too much in this one, but i think that's ultimately much more forgivable than what he does with the martin + douglas dynamic

'but i can eat cake' and then he goes off on a little tangent i love that guy

poor arthur getting so overwhelmed and giving them all names and treating carolyn as a character too, god i love it and then his own little roleplay i'm honestly going to cry i love them both

'i have to admit it is what i might have done' my god she's proud she and arthur are so similar actually! hh hh h hh

'I'm quite enigmatic though' yes darling you are i love you and how many times do we think he practiced his story before he went in to see martin

the way this is all just an elaborate scheme of douglas' is just peak douglas chaotic energy

and actually! carolyn is a shit liar too like if you listen carefully she's just being ever so slightly too hardline she and arthur are so similar!!!!!!

[naraeragon]

Naib: Hi, I'm a mercenary and I'm here to find thriller.

Martha: Naib, no.

Naib: [runs toward hunters]

Martha:

Martha: Carl. Prepare a coffin.

--

Naib: Hi.

Naib: [sees Jack]

Naib: I'm gay.

Jack: Hi gay. I'm Jack.

--

Fiona: East folktales say that when you walk among mist and darkness and hear ringing noise. It means death is coming to you.

Hei Wu: [rings bell]

Fiona: Shit.

--

Hastur: This tastes delicious. What does it call?

Jack: Takoyaki.

Hastur: What does it make of?

Jack: Tentacles.

Hastur: [chokes]

--

Jack: [be unconscious]

Naib: He is not breathing!

Naib: I'll give him mouth-to-mouth!

Jack: [wakes up]

Jack: Don't you dare.

--

Kreacher: Miss Michiko, I bought you a present.

Michiko: That's very kind of you.

Michiko: [opens box, sees pairs of high heel]

Kreacher: Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you didn't have legs.

Michiko: [intensity screech]

--

Hei Wu: What if the world turn their back on me?

Bai Wu: I'll be with you and turn our back to the world.

Hei Wu: Why?

Bai Wu: Because you are my bro.

Hei Wu: Bro.

--

Naib: I'm straight as hell.

Jack: [passes by and smiles]

Naib:

Naib: I'm straight to hell.

--

Eli: You can't do bad things.

Naib: Don't worry. I got permission for this [handles a piece of paper to Eli]

Eli: [opens the paper]

Eli: It says "I do whatever I want".

Naib: Yes!

--

Jack: At the moment I cannot control my stupid heart to have a mental attraction toward an arrogant inhuman idiot such as you.

Hastur:

Hastur: You could have just say 'I love you'.

Jack: Nope, bitch.

--

Kevin: Each man has a bird.

Eli: I have five birds.

Kevin: I say-

Eli: FIVE. BIRDS.

--

Kreacher: I have an album for you.

Helena: Thanks, but you realise that I can't read, right?

Kreacher: Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you are blind.

Michiko: [intensity screech]

--

Joseph: There is a strange handsome man in my room.

Joseph: Oh wait. It's just me.

--

Eli: Big bird.

Jack: I'm not a bird.

Eli: Big bird.

Jack: I say-

Eli: BIG BI-

Jack: [stuffs feather in Eli's mouth]

Jack: Listen here you little shit head.

----

Naib: Do you think I'm stupid?

Jack: No, I don't think so.

Naib: [eyes sparkling]

Jack: I'm 100% sure you are stupid.

--

Jack: How dare you motherf--

Joseph: Senior, be elegant.

Jack: Apologize.

Jack: How dare you despicable ungrateful piece of stinky solid methane being spat out of your birth giver's lower organ staring at me like that?

Joseph: !!!

--

Helena: I just did a terrible thing.

Martha: [holds a shovel]

Martha: Carl. Prepare the coffin.

Helena: Wait. What do you think I did?

Carl: Doesn't matter. No one will ever know.

--

Hei Wu: Joseph, you sleep?

Joseph: I would if you didn't disturb me.

Hei Wu: Do you ever forget to switch between illusional world and real world, then you think you are living in real world but actually it's illusional world and you can't get out because you think it's the real world?

Joseph:

Joseph: IT'S 3AM LET ME SLEEP!

[vegandoughnut]

PART 5: Are You Kitting Me?

"You're good to go, Anekke" says Stephen, scribbling on his clipboard as if he were actually using it for something. Anekke frowns.

"I can't just finish the hour?" She presses, nearly pouting.

"Fine but make sure you clock out on the dot. I just don't have the patience this evening" Stephen says, voice laden with an exhaustion that doesn't even make sense. Anekke continues to spray some of the food prep surfaces with the natural mint scented surface cleaner and wipes with the cleaning rag.

Humbert hums in a whiny pitch as he adds the finishing touches to another serving of the Fall Special. Black anise waffles, vibrant orange pumpkin ice cream, chocolate chips and raisins, cat face drawn with chocolate or molasses. The ingredients seem to have plastered themselves all over Anekke's brain. She mutters them to herself as she cleans.

"What's that?" Comes Humbert's voice.

She ignores him, almost laughing with relief when Kitt joins them behind the counter. Kitt looks tired, with dark circles forming under her eyes. She flashes a smile to counter it.

"You need a coffee" Anekke says.

"You've never been more right" Kitt replies, picking up the staff french press off the ceramic hot plate, and pouring herself a mug of aromatic medium roast. "I have like five minutes to snag Gary Nygard's autograph but I just can't bring myself to. This is a once in a lifetime thing. Like. He's going back to Finland at some point. The band doesn't even tour anymore. Today literally feels like a weird dream and I don't know how to move. Like I'm walking through invisible cake batter or something"

"This is not a therapy session. You have a customer Kittie" says Humbert. Kitt sucks her teeth before turning to face the rest of the cafe to take a customer's order.

"You know we already have a supervisor and a manager right?" Anekke says through clenched teeth. Even if Humbert had said it to Kumlyun instead of Kitt, she would still jump in on the defense. She was getting tired of Humbert's antics, and was glad she'd be going home soon.

Humbert grunts and gets back to putting together a catering box.

"Wow" says Anekke, shaking her head.

A customer walks up to the bar holding Salem, the chill black cat purred softly in his arms. He orders an oat milk vanilla shake. She let's Kitt take that order, then goes back to cleaning, annoyed that earlier Kumlyun had implied the mess was made by her, when really it was probably Harper who was often sloppy with the food prep and forgetful of cleaning up. But at least she made Kumlyun look bad by implying she came in on her day off on purpose.

Finally some serenity blankets the cafe when all the customers are seated and eating, drinking or petting or feeding the cats they were paired with. Anekke quickly checks her pocket planner and crosses off a few things she remembered to do.

Memorize the recipe for the blueberry muffins by heart. Check. Disinfect the sink. Check. Renew library checkouts online. Check. Schedule a dentist appointment for next week. Check. Organize the discarded customer cards into her little file folder. Check.

"Anekke"

Anekke nearly jumps out of her skin when Kitt places a hand on her shoulder from behind.

"You scared me Kitt" she says, stealthily shrugging out from under her hand.

"I seem to do that for a lot of people" she says with a frown. "Anyway, what time are you leaving? so I know when to mentally prepare for the next few grueling hours behind this counter"

"Honestly just 30 minutes to go" says Anekke, taking a sneaky bite of the energy bar she hid in her half apron.

"Okay. Thanks" says Kitt.

Carl turns to look at the counter and smiles warmly when he coincidentally catches Anekke's eye. She smiles back quickly but goes back to her resting face just as soon.

"Hey Carl, want to cover for me real quick?" Kitt calls from the bar, undoing her waist apron.

Carl walks over immediately, and almost trips over a feathered pet toy but regains his balance without much embarrassment. Anekke watches intently. Still nervous, that one.

"You'll be working with the pretty blond, she should have no problem drawing in lots of orders so you can take a few pointers" says Kitt to Carl. Anekke's head spins upon hearing the strange sentence, and she wonders what Kitt was really saying. She had to force herself not to spiral into the whirlpool forming inside of her. What does she mean? What does that mean? Is it face value? Is there a joke or jab hidden in the arrangement of the words? Why does Kumlyun complain so much? Does Kumlyun whisper lies about Anekke to Kitt? Is Kitt trustworthy? Is Kitt priming Carl against her? She said "pretty blond". Maybe she should go to HR about Kitt. That'll make things make sense.

Carl and Kitt switch places. Carl ties a waist apron on and picks up a few beechwood mixing spoons. Why?

"Break a leg" Anekke tells Kitt who walks carefully towards Gary Nygard. Kitt flashes a confident cheese smile before heading straight for the Special Guest, the charming gothic rock star who had been in the cafe since before noon.

Anekke had thought he'd looked familiar, then realized he was a member of a band that had been really popular back when she was in high school. Yuck, she thinks, picturing those cringey teenage years in her mind with distaste. It was hard to imagine Kitt was one of the spooky kids who were obsessed with vampires and fingerless gloves, but who would've imagined that "pretty blond" Anekke was a nerd with no friends? The one who, even if she tried to make a joke, it came off as awkward or distasteful? Why were these things bothering her so suddenly?

20 minutes pass. Two customers came. Carl had watched eagerly when Anekke operated the waffle maker which she hated completely. The waffles would sometimes have holes in the outer pockets around the edges if the batter didn't spread perfectly. That's why she hated it.

"See you guys on Thursday" Anekke says, gathering her khaki trench coat, personal mug and backpack. It was without really looking at anyone in particular.

A few co-workers say bye in friendly voices. Why so friendly? Do they think she's stupid? Childish?

Then Carl says, "thanks for the tip about the waffle maker. I'm sure people prefer a perfect waffle over the skeleton of one" he says with a warm smile, trying to make her laugh probably. Anekke nods then goes out the door, relieved beyond words.

Kitt pulls her fingers through her dreads, which were the color of fallen leaves--- the characteristic Autumn hue between plum and red. She felt just slightly embarrassed to meet one of her teenage rock idols looking like a millennial-barista-spoken-word-slam-night-attendee-who-keeps-a-million-potted -succulents-around-their-house person, but so it goes. Some of teen-life's craziest caterpillars emerged from their cocoons as less stand-outy butterflies.

But there he was. Gary Nygard looking exactly the same, though less dressy, as she remembered during the heyday of Finnish metal's popularity in her generation. Jetty curtains of hair. The cozy cat skull sweatshirt over the pants with the boots. Gosh his legs were so perfectly thin. Kitt shakes her head.

"Darling" Nygard's voice steals Kitt's attention as he strokes just under the fuzzy siamese cat Sandra's chin. He is smiling slightly. "Is all well?" he says nodding towards her, like he could sense her trepidation, "this is a lovely place, beautiful really. Tell your boss, see, to keep doing whatever he or she is doing to keep it going. The cats are so dear, and you, all of you, have been lovely hosts"

He's so sweet and down to earth and candid and Scandinavian and beautiful and what inspired that song.... and will the band ever get back together and what does he do now that the band is... omg stop brain, stop it.... Kitt thinks.

"How long has the place been running for? It seems like a very hip sort of thing, an import, from Japan maybe... lovely country, Japan. They're very nice there" he continues as Sandra squirms and scratches at his sweater. But Gary Nygard is on to the silly cat, trying to distract her by scratching behind her ears while her head is turned in the opposite directions.

Kitt's mouth opens and closes. She blinks a mile a minute yet there's no wind in her face.

"Just a few years" Kitt responds, finding her composure again and holding onto it for dear life. "Yeah cat cafes, well, themed cafes in general, seem to be way more popular over there. This is kind of a knock---"

"A knock-off, but very nice" he finishes for her with a chuckle. He scratches his head then throws back the last of his green smoothie, Sandra sitting snugly nuzzled into his side on the velvet highback chair. Kitt watches the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows the drink, the pale white of his throat exposed and blinding.

Suddenly she forgets that she can language, and just clasps and un-clasps her hands.

"It was lovely. Truly" he says, getting up from the chair. All 5'10 of him. Sandra scampers off across the cafe to bother some of the other kitties. "Kittie? Was that your name? Good girl" he mutters, pulling on his faux fur jacket. Kitt stands there dumbly.

She is frozen as he crosses the room towards the front door. She pretends to go fix tables near there then discreetly says, "wait. Sorry just a minute"

He stops and turns to face her, pulling a dark grey beanie over his hair and looking more and more like a mysterious pedestrian, becoming less and less real at the same despite. He was crossing the threshold of Kitt's world, reality, back into the far away world of teen angst nostalgia and dreams come true and old fires doused.

"I was a big fan when I was high school..." she says, quietly, softly, only he could hear.

He grins. A warm and genuine smile that touches his eyes that turn up slightly at the outer corners, like a cat's. He hands her his VIP customer lanyard and tag with his name and personality notes on there in his real life, almost-neat handwriting. The one thing customers usually toss.

"Thank you for today, Kittie" he says, with a brief, too light pat on her shoulder.

Then he's out the door.

Just like that.

A dream.