#I'm bigger than my body
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I luv her your honour
#hetalia#nyotalia#nyo italy#aph italy#I tried making her to have more of my body type#though i think I'm still a bit bigger than this lmao
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:and Control by Halsey:
:listens to Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood and Body by Mother Mother on repeat as I write the next chapter of CBTY:
#I'm bigger than my body#I'm colder than this home#I'm meaner than my demons#I'm bigger than these bones#and all the kids cry out please stop you're scaring me#I can't help this awful energy#goddam right you should be scared of me#who is in control?
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Can you draw Hank and Dean Venture hanging out?
…I got carried away.
#Hank forgot to take out the trash incident in the first image ten dead fifty injured#honestly this style is so fun to emulate#instead of doing all of my other requests I spent two hours on venture bros <33#brothers of all time#venture bros brotherhood is magic#I'll post mecha shiva as a separate image cause it's way bigger than the others#I wanted a higher rez for it#I did it without reference for the bodies cause I'm dumb and like to suffer#venture bros#the venture bros#hank venture#dean venture#venture bros fanart#vbros#fanart#art#artists on tumblr#wmp requests#art requests#mecha shiva
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on one hand, i can make olivine the biggest juiciest bottom where eiden has to top him with climbing gear attached
on the other hand, i could make olivine the equally powerful priestly short king who only reaches eiden's bellybutton but can twirl that boy around his finger like a weighty necklace
#i am ignoring the canon height chart that says eiden and oli are the same height#i never imagine oli as that height 😂#either he's close to garu's height and twice as thick#or he's TOWERING over eiden but still wants to get topped into oblivion by that lil twink#there's a drastic discrepancy between how i draw him and how i imagine him#the canon-adherer in me is fighting back and i'm struggling every day#why would you make them the same height ! ! when you can.... PLAY GAMES LIKE A GOD#STRETCH THEM UP AND DOWN AND ALL AROUND LIKE A WET PIZZA DOUGH#i am torn between several variations of body types for him...#does he have stupid superhero cliche body with booba and no leg? like dante lololol#is he soft and fat and stronkkgk????#is he just as thick in his thighs as his boobs? i hope so.#ARE HIS BICEPS BIGGER THAN HIS CALVES?#OR THE REVERSE?#IS HE PROPORTIONALLY BALANCED IN ALL LIMBS LIKE SOME PERFECT LITTLE FREAK?#will i ever find the way to draw oli that makes me happiest? we continue the journey#for example i love making yaku the most pathetic limp noodle#but oli....oli has multiple critics in my brain weighing in.... debating at all times#WHAT DO I WANNA MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE *Shakes his in-game portrait* WHO ARE YOU OLI#nu carnival olivine
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What's cosmic depression?
when you're depressed but in the cosmos
#it's like. depression that's so much bigger than your body. depression that encompasses all of reality.#i go into Walmart after walking 500 miles from my car because the parking lot is vast and eternally full#i need one specific thing. katsu sauce for example. only walmart has it according to an online search.#i am overwhelmed by the sprawl. I'm like there's no way all these clothes are gonna be bought. this is so many waffle makers.#against my better judgement i pass by the pet section. half gallon self cleaning betta boxes are 50% off.#I've lived here all my life and remember when this was a local chain grocery store.#there is a specific smell.#i hate walmart i hate going in. i can get cheaper bananas at smiths. in fact everything is cheaper at smiths. why am i here.#oh right. katsu sauce.#i find the condiment aisle with an asian section. there is no katsu sauce.#and that's cosmic walmart depression#m2a#m2answers
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Why were they kinda fine tho
Them as Semi-Humans as part of a 'What if' AU where they're still bugs [albeit really big ones] but take on a more human appearance to give the town the illusion of a 'normal' looking family.
#fanart#my art#art#growing up creepie#caroleena creecher#vincent creecher#vinnie creecher#Vincent wears the cape to hide his wings#their 'skin color' is really just non toxic#body paint#I'm keeping the original idea of Vincent being 'retired' from drinking blood because I like the vampire aesthetics he has going on#caroleena has a bigger appetite in this too since they're much bigger than canon#MIGHT draw Creepie's brothers too#and the thousands of larvae will just be triplets in this AU#only they'll be 'human' tho#the rest will stay as regular bugs
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i love nuance, i love learning, i love knowing how something fundamentally works
#i was struggling throwing knives the other day bc my body picked up the muscle movements but what i taught it wasn't right exactly#i had to rly think about how my throw works and what I'm doing exactly. fundamentally#🚶🏾♀️ had to go back to being a noob at it while i trained w the right perspective and I'm v happy to not only have it back but#be better at it. much easier to switch between different sizes and weights‚ (much) higher stick rates‚ deeper penetration#☝🏾 my true test will be going to my friend's on Sunday and seeing if her bf still has his throwing knives and how i do w them 0:#i only played w them a bit on the first day but they're p small 😹 i feel comfies throwing the heavier n bigger it gets but idk#how it feels to move in the other direction yet. anyways‚ i am having fun ૮ – ﻌ–ა 🤌🏾 very happy i got back into this bc i feel like#in however brief time it's been i got better way faster than i did at 17 🙇🏾♀️ but I'm sure that initial learning helped#i mean. it did. that's why i was able to hit successfully sm times that first day. hm. so ig I've just been getting a more nuanced view 0:#muscle memory is crazy
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No crafting update today because I spent all my spoons checking out a local(ish) wildlife reservation/hiking place, which was awesome! I could not explore the whole place, and it is very much "only wheelchair friendly if the person pushing my wheelchair is capable of holding my entire weight against a steep slope and immediately pushing the chair up another only partially paved steep slope", but I walked the whole time*! I got to hear wolves howling through the forest and it is a whole hell of a lot eerier to hear on a foggy day in a winter forest than it was the only other time I've heard it, which was a very bright sunny day in an amphitheater at a zoo where one wolf howled alone on stage. There were crows cawing and wolves howling and it was absolutely magnificent and suddenly a whole lot of things from various fantasy novels I read as a kid hit very different. Like, I get why hearing the wolves howl in the night would be alarming now! *we did bring my rollator/transport chair in the car, and the backup plan was that my dad or my brother would go get it and push me back to the car if I needed help
#the person behind the yarn#there were other animals and educational stuff but dang those howling wolves were something else#what can I say I grew up in a city with like zero wildlife that was bigger than lizards#well okay there were crows and seagulls and pigeons but I lived so far into a city there weren't even coyotes!#when I got a little older I did move somewhere with more wildlife (including but not limited to coyotes) but no wolves#my physical stamina is absolutely terrible at the moment because of the anemia and POTS#but the meds I am on are working pretty well!#I mean. they don't make me able bodied but they mean that my heart rate might be elevated but my blood pressure is okay#like my heart rate might be in the 130s but I'm not going to pass out! which is a huuuuge improvement!#it was also good to find out that the rest of my muscles are absolutely fine with an hourish long walk across uneven terrain#like. my heart was not so cool with it but the rest of my body was fine! and that's cool!#uphill slopes are still my nemesis and today was not a good heart day so I had to take very small steps#like half the length of my foot at a time#but it was a bad heart day and I COULD walk up slopes!!!
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Wrecker: *exists*
Me, a 4'11, 115 lbs, 20-year-old with the lowest pain tolerance known to man and actual noodles for arms: I could take him.
#yup definitely could take him#nevermind it's probably thicker than my fucking arm#fuck#it would kill me actually#but i would die happy#i think about wrecker's body in proportion to mine a LOT#found out that when i'm on my knees i'm actually the perfect height for him#crazy#anyways#you don't understand how badly i need this man#his hand is probably bigger than my face#could probably easily snap my neck#his arm is probably thicker than my thighs#ugh ugh ugh#i need him#tbb wrecker#wrecker#bad batch wrecker#big guy <3
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Misc. photos from the past year or so ~
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow#2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze#in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol#3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0#4. CHILDREN.... love to see them.....#5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol#I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets#at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah#actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol#6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other#yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern#But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's#like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that#long.#7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something..#probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one#maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas#are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry#and vastly anemic... huzzah to them...#8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had#an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own#long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt'#or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on#it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... !#photo diary
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#rant#i think one of the most annoying things about being fat is having to be so conscious of how often you say you wanna be skinny#like oop don't wanna be annoying to the skinny people in my life#oh don't wanna piss off the people who are bigger than me in my life too#also it's not that easy to get skinny when you're poor and busy#i can't afford to buy another sports bra in my size because I'm a 32 M#the last one i bought didn't fit#any now my sister who started ozempic is comparing bodies with me as if she hasn't been fatter than me our entire lives#and I've always made sure never to talk about my body or food intake around her because i knew she waa jealous#i remained completely body neutral#and now this bitch is comoaring body composition bitch you're on ozempic and unemployed shut the fuck up#i can't imagine hiw kuch worsw it is for people who are bigger than me
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December Icon Change.
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Christ, I am so tired of people sending me messages, replies, etc. like "well, in my experience, performers never know if their venues are accessible! you should be contacting the venues instead!"
LIKE THAT'S NOT THE EXACT PROBLEM I AM DESCRIBING IN THE POST. Like I have never been to a fucking show before!
I am literally upset that they do not ask!!! And do not ask once they are asked!!! I am upset that they have the privilege to not ask and are happy to keep that privilege to themselves rather than even the playing field for the marginalized groups they claim to care about.
like??? Why are people asking like it's impossible to know these things??? Do they think that disabled performers never book venues? Do they think if you ask these questions you just drop dead?
Like at this point, the only thing more exhausting than the original issue is all the people showing up in my notes treating me like I'm an idiot for expecting the bare fucking minimum, which is businesses even knowing whether they're in compliance with the ADA or not before they take my money.
Jesus.
#I'm! irritated!#I swear this happens every time one of my disability posts gets bigger than I was expecting#people over here acting like I'm stupid or selfish for expecting people to care about accessibility#that's the exact attitude that's pissing me off!#like damn the lack of self-awareness is staggering#stop making my life harder and go google accessibility or something#the post was LITERALLY about how exhausting it is to have to do all this myself because I can't depend on the able-bodied for shit#stop proving my point and taking what very little spoons I have left#cw:#ableism#disability
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also. feeling feelings. abt my gender.
#woofing#like I'm a man! im so so very much a man#and i feel like thats Bad.#like yeah im more than just a man but above all else i am a man.#and like. idk. idk i feel like im wrong for being a man on purpose ig#and esp since my partners have a heavy attraction towards women and femininity in general im. worried sbdbsndbd#that they'll stop liking me as i get more physically masc in a way that cant be denied ig#like my dicks getting bigger im gaining weight im getting harrier and my voice is changing.#and im both so ecstatic to finally be able to give myself the body ive wanted for YEARS and also terrified bc what if im suddenly like.#too man. ig.#idk im rambling wbdbsbdnsb
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tw ed in the tags !!
#im feeling sooo awful abt my body today its crazy#i dont wanna relapse but also i have prom and grad coming up so its very very tempting#silly side note but ive been friends w some moots on edtwt longer than I've known some of my irls and that's crazy to me#anyway i was looking at tweets of me being so majorly uber excited abt final hitting 45 kg T-T like man omfg#feb 23 me was the skinniest id ever been and i was thriving !!#and i highkey wanna be that again#was my hair thinning and did my face look so gaunt it scared me at times? yes#did i also feel my prettiest + have the most external validation from strangers etc ever? also yes !!#i feel fat and ugly rn but I'm also just very averagely weighted#but i have a naturally broader built but i feel like i look bigger even if I'm not ?? 9ufdkjhjs#anyway its scary looking through old tweets bc I'm talking abt skipping lunch like everyday and stuff like that's scary !! don't do that#but also it makes me wanna do it again like if i could look like that again... id genuinely kill myself for it#i was kinda also p healthy back then LOL only ate god food#cardio every evening + muscle training every morning#anyway teehee thats all i very much dislike my body rn and i hope i can lose a bit so i don't feel like dying <3#i have hope bc im only 5kg off what i used to be so !! shouldn't be too hard yaaya if i can just get back in the 40s ill be happy like a 47#i got this !! hopefully will not destroy myself in the process yay#tw ed
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you think exercising a lot and building a strong body is going to fix your issues but really now i'm just depressed in a body that can bench more
#ignore this this is just interesting to me like#i'm trying to foster body neutrality in that#if i fuel my body it can lift things! it can do press-ups! maybe one day even pull-ups!#and i am lucky that being at an all-women gym means literally every workout i'm surrounded by thE MOST inspiring middle-aged lesbians#squatting 100kg like it's nothing like ma'am your lack of chill your STRENGTH#and i'm delighted that i'm at a place where i've literally never been fitter#but do i still hate myself? i mean yeah#i just do it with bigger more solid thighs#and more confidence that i could carry my partner out of a burning building#anyway body neutrality or whatever but everyone should try lifting#nothing creates more awe in me than the little old french lady who's 70 if she's a day who marches into the gym and starts benching 45kg#or indeed the girl i partnered with yesterday who was like 4'10 and deadlifting 50kg like GIRL#people (wimmin) are inspiring and i hope to be like them one day but more than that i hope to feel genuinely apathetic about my body one da
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