#I'm back after several years just to put this piece of crap and run

[the-firebird69]

Watch "X Ambassadors - Renegades (Live From Life Is Beautiful)" on YouTube

It does look like guys in the movie space Odyssey the year 2001 and we look at the obelisk but before going to look at it we check and see if we're going to look at it that's what we do we're about the same build and we walk slow and kind of donkey and everyone says that's us he says it makes sense I know what it is and everyone fights over it, the big boys that is and we say that way too what are you saying is it's a laser light computer it's Dave's and it survives the radiation because it is immune to it being made out of plastic it doesn't really absorb radiation the skin absorbs electrical current when they're clearing it out static was building up and turned it on and radiation from the Sun Powers it too it's a solar power and the machine is activated right now I don't see it I'm looking through a telescope it's not massively powerful and I'll keep looking

Bg

We have a massively powerful telescope trading on it and we know what it is at this time we're told by our friend and he knows what it is you can see it in the transformers movies it is their object they have cubes too and one of you looks dresses up like Preston and causing her mother boxes and transformer box and it's a computer and he says that those are probably remote boxes that activate the transformers control them and that the pillar is also a relay for a larger computer which might actually be in the Moon might be a trick but these relays might be all over and the computer might be traveling it was a smart way to do it because the ships everywhere and they are going to have a problem because he's saying he thinks the computer is there if they found that relay it may activate transformers to halts people from going there and that's what we're probably going to see it's not real simple because those are smaller and can't do that much but he says I can do plenty but probably only runs maneuvers and we noticed when he's saying but the transformers are semi-autonomous and can be made fully autonomous by a few scenarios and we know what he's talking about if it's left alone for a certain period of time is exposed it will run as fully automatic side so these are things that we know about and we are surprising several things from what's going on that is in Jeopardy it will turn them on and it's not just to stop who's doing it it's to ride these two people have been found to be the most proficient writers ever known and his wife is somewhere with these kinds of things too and he says it's kind of gross that they put you in there and you're doing the job and I'm starting to get the message to the missing people up big time and finally make a computers over there it's probably no simple task so we're going to get to it

Billium bill

And the kubricks in the Kennedys you're out front because you're out front

Preston

We approve this message to go out

Olympus

Wow that's quite a statement and we think you guys are right and there is a master computer nearby people think it's an inside the Moon and we do too and we think that space Odyssey 2001 happened because he can see there is that slab there and that's what he's arrogant about and the sun says so what he grab some time some diamonds that are square and start laugh a little cuz that's what they are

Thor Freya

Is slowly calmed down after he heard that I said it's just arranged so it hits it a certain way and runs a certain part of his computer each and all he was doing was deactivated it which I needed to do but yeah those are just diamonds and other computer kicked me off

Trump

Oh good it is a****** who tells people stuff that's terrific

Sarah

Hahaha you're both massive fools okay you deserve what you get coming and you really deserve to eat a lot you can really suck it doesn't take our ships back before you like a piece of crap next time don't bother

Sherry

I'm going to cut you in half overseas again and yeah we realize there's a huge fleet of the empire the stupid prick

Stan

[ritacaroline]

A New Series

By ritacaroline

Quips n Blips to Ponder

Episode 5

What will we be doing for the holidays ??

Thanksgiving has just passed. So how did we do ?

What food items were available at your Thanksgiving table ?

1. Turkey

2. Glazed Ham

3. Stuffing (please indicate what type)

a. Bread cube - (preferably from our friends at Pepperidge Farm. )

b. Corn bread stuffing

c. Sausage and bread stuffing.

d. Oyster Stuffing ( for the aphrodisiac lovers. )

e. None - instead, we like crescent rolls. ( that ones mine - no you ate 3 already. Mom ? Do you see him ?) Poppin fresh open a new tube Please.

4. Cranberry sauce

a. Fresh made from real cooked cranberries. ( wow, is your mom Martha Stewart ? Or Betty Crocker ? Circle just one )

b. Canned. Fresh outa the Oceanspray can. ( when it lands with a plop onto a plate - you see impressions of the can ridges all over the glob. ) The shiny glistening glob. That's the true sign of a fresh can of gelled sugar. Bon appetite.

5. Green bean casserole mush w mushroom soup glop. OMG. Gag me w a spoon. Pardon me please while I hurl.

6. Lasagna ? Yep. Some people do this. Not a bad idea.

7. Creamed onion pearls. Hmm. I don't think so. But ok.

8. Mashed sweet potatoes w marshmallows ? Diabetic kamikaze ? ( 10 points off for poor spelling )

9. Gravy. Yes. To be created by only experienced cooks please. This task is not for you if you're wishy washy about cooking. In that case you have little chance of success. And you will be off to Thanksgiving jail. Yes - it exists. Yes - it's awful. Imagine hordes of people wandering about aimlessly in the style of night of the living dead. Holding metal stirring whisks in the air while looking zombie ish in a tie back apron and chefs hat.

(So - get out the hand held submersion blender or die. ) If you don't know what that item is - give up now.

Or just buy a few cans of gravy. Voila. Magic.

10 Pumpkin pie. No comment.

How did you feel after eating said meal ??

1. Ok. Not bad.

2. Little tummy trouble. But I'll live.

3. Problems best portrayed by video of Mt Vesuvius erupting. :

4: I spent the day after thanksgiving praising the porcelain God. On my knees.

10. And how do you plan on celebrating Thanksgiving next year ?

a. Run for my life

b. Eat at the diner.

c. Make pb&js. And call it a day.

d. Bribe Martha Stewart to

provide a home visit.

e. I will be on a food fast that day.

For religious reasons.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day

Be sure to have the lemon lime flavored alka seltzer available in your cabinet. For the morning after you have over done it with the booze. That fizzy shit will be your best buddy.

Did you get all the toys you need ? If not - expect crying and tantrums. From you. For being negligent.

Did you put that crap together ? Assemble the toys that need that ?

Batteries ?

Yes

No.

I'm a dumbass. Expect crying and tantrums.

Do not walk about while barefoot. If you have purchased Legos. For the young ones. You will be damn sorry if you step on a few. It's very confusing why this form of weaponry has not been deployed in times of war. Way less costly than missiles and air to ground combat.

Do not steal this idea under severe penalty of the law ! Do you promise ?

During times of international conflict and war, simply hide the enemy's shoes. Secretly. Then shhh. Sprinkle lego pieces all over the grounds outside their tents and/ or quarters. Then watch them emerge and slowly but surely - they will be rendered unable to walk due to the steppage onto-age of afore mentioned Legos. That's a military term. Thus rendered unable to defend their territory in a painful surrender. And a sad day shall be bestoweth upon them. ( ? ) official quote from the victors, " It was the Legos amongst them that led us to Victory. "

Back to our normal programming :

What will we have for breakfast on Christmas ?

The family will be expecting a special breakfast. Have you thought about this ? No ? You must. Cereal or toast will not cut it.

How about an egg breakfast casserole ?

Cinnamon rolls ?

French toast. Without something like this - you're fucked. I mean it.

If worse comes to worst , swing by the Golden Arches for a few packs of the McSanta Delight. Mmmm. Yummy mush.

Now that the presents are opened and a lot of folks are seriously disappointed, ? Now wtf ? Instruct those spoiled brats to go play w the toys and stop fighting. And shut the hell up.

Grab you some eggnog. Spike that bad boy w some vodka or tanguray gin. Now that's a Merry Christmas. Do not over do. Or drive. Just hang out. And to all a good night. Ho ho ho.

[fyeahshinpachi]

Gintama  ABO  AU (SFW)

Do you sometimes wake up with the worst ideas? Yeah, so my headcanons for  Gintama characters in Alpha-Beta-Omega dynamics AU, where everything is the same, but there’s ABO dynamics involved. 

GINTOKI - omega. But not really bothering with it, as since he presented he was on heat supressing coconotions (which were more or less effective), or pharmaceutical supressants. Male omegas are rare (while not unheard of) so he can usually pass as a beta. He blames his need to help others... and every little  vice he ever had (sweet-tooth!) on ‘omega instincts’. While she would never tell him that, Otose almost cried in relief when he ‘employed’ Shinpachi and Kagura, as omegas have a deep instinctual need for contact, and the lack of human connection does terrible things to the psyche (a few times this led Gintoki into a really bad and frankly damaging relations with people). What Otose actually teases him with, is that taking care of two kids is absolutely his motherly omega instincts. Gintoki is absolutely sure this isn’t the case. He has issues with any sort of authority, but particularly when it stems from someone’s ‘alpha instincts’. There’s also some... history between him and Zura (who is an alpha) but neither  touches this topic with a 10 foot pole. 

KAGURA - none. Amanto have no ABO dynamics, and thus Kagura had no idea what is it all about. While with time she learned to take dynamics into consideration, it still adds to her lack of proper social skills, as she can’t read the room very well. People who don’t know she’s a yato think that she is an alpha or beta with some gland disability. It’s not a problem though in everyday Yorozuya life, as neither Gintoki or Shinpachi are too big on following proper ABO dynamics. 

SHINPACHI - alpha. And quite serious about being a good, considerate, protective and providing alpha. Expresses it in the very non-alpha way, though, by cooking, cleaning, washing, being overbearingly caring, and, as Gintoki says, by constant nagging. And while he’s not exactly non-confrontational (hooo boy), he’s not really bothered by shows of dominance, and he’ll usually just submit to skip the issue. (some alpha punk: wanna try me, huuuh? shinpachi: no (bows slightly in submission). can I pass, please? some alpha punk: :white guy bliking meme:  I guess?). Well. Unless other person threathens his sister or his friends. Then he goes full alpha, even if there’s no chance for him to win. As the time passes, he becomes better at knowing when to try to assert dominance, but he’s practically never the one to start the dominance contest, and he never has any problem with omegas or betas telling him what to do (what sometimes is an issue with alphas). His rather lax attitude towards the outward displays of being alpha stem mostly form the fact that his sister, who is also an alpha, was his only pack member for majority of his life, so he’s learned to channel his instincts in ways that wouldn’t challenge Otae.

OTAE - alpha. She works very hard to keep herself in check. Female alphas are, similarly to male omegas, rare but not unheard of, however it is considered to be, well, unattractive for a woman to be an alpha. So she tries her best to pass as a beta, especially at hostess club... but it doesn’t work. At all. Unlike Shinpachi, she’s very quick to try to assert dominance, but she’ll quickly fold if the situation becomes truly dangerous, to keep it from escalating. 

SHINSENGUMI - Kondou is a beta, and is slightly self-conscious about this. It works pretty well, though, because can absolutely play referee between Hijikata (alpha) and Sougo (alpha). The situation between them is extremely heated, as their (well, mostly Sougo’s) alpha instincts go absolutely haywire. Sougo doesn’t want to submit to Hijikata, and Hijikata is not going to back down. (They both submit to Kondou, though, even though he’s not an alpha.) Sougo has a lot of issues connected to dominance and being an alpha, and that’s one of the reasons he hits it off so well with Yorozuya, as they don’t particularly care for this pissing contest. And Yamazaki... is the most beta-like beta that ever lived. 

[shelby-love]

KELLY SEVERIDE

Skeletons and Whatnot.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none

Author’s note: I feel like this is rubbish, but I also feel like it’s not. 50/50 (1.6K words - might come back to edit it tomorrow)

Also you can see how tired I am (it's 4:30AM) I mean what is this title??? GOOD NIGHT.

~

"That's not possible. Check again."

"But I already did! Like a million times!"

"Adam, I swear to God-"

"Alright, alright…" Your colleague mumbled, turning on his chair to run the data yet again.

While he sat on the chair, looking through files he didn't have a clue about, you were leaning against the wall and shaking in your boots. Your heart hammered and your palms felt clammy.

Not possible. I killed him.

"No look it says right there," Adam declared; proud of himself for being able to gather information like this on his own. "Some girl named Lucy Riggs pawned a gun she got off some guy named Jon Prescott.

You squinted your eyes at the information that made no sense. "Get to the point."

Adam visibly swallowed, "Turns out the guy's name isn't Jon. Shocker. It's actually Parker Torres."

Your blood ran cold at his words. A million thoughts raced through your head. You wondered where he was, what he was doing… The questions that evaded your mind are usually normal, but here, when you thought about the dark man of your past, the questions seemed to be anything but normal.

"What about the gun?"

Adam clicked away until a picture of a metallic gun popped out. "Smith & Wesson Model 64 revolver."

Next thing you knew, a chain of vulgar profanities escaped your mouth, and you couldn't stop them. Ruzek's eyes widened ever so slightly at your lack of composure. "Mind telling me what this all about?"

You took a deep breath. "My skeleton escaped the closet."

***

The lack of information you found within the last couple of days was mind blowing. The only lead you had was the gun that wasn't even in your possession, having gotten lost in a misfit of undocumented sales.

Lucy wasn't of help either. The poor girl just wanted to get rid of her husband's gun, saying everything but useful information along the way. "If he wants a gun, then he better get a good one… A new one too! I don't want that piece of garbage in my house. God only knows who used that gun!" Lucy told you, just 48 hours ago. Those exact same words.

She was right about one thing.

That dammed gun went through so many hands and took double more lives.

And you didn't even have a lead.

"You look like crap," Kevin Atwater teased, handing you a steaming cup of coffee.

You didn't even manage to smile, looking at him through your shades that were, so far, doing a great job at concealing the bags under your eyes from the world.

"Rough night?"

"Mhmm."

Kevin didn't know that you no longer lived with Kelly. The temporary solution to your problems turned out to be moving back to your own place. Putting Kelly in harm's way, no matter how much he thought otherwise, was something you didn't want to do. The comfort of his bed and body were replaced by a thin blanked and an uncomfortable dining chair.

Dozens of glass decorations were laid out all over your apartment. On every window still, next to every door… On every surface, really. You slept on the dining chair 5 yards from your front door with a pistol strapped to your back, a shotgun under the chair and a rifle wrapped around your two arms, acting as a teddy bear for every time you dozed off.

Friends from Interpol would call here and there, with nothing more than sad news.

Hank Voight was pulling out every contact from his little notebook, but not even they could solve your years long case.

You wanted to throw up.

"Hey Kev."

"What's up?"

"You still friends with that FBI agent?"

***

"Second floor clear," The grip on your radio loosened after the second you needed to inform your team about your situation had passed and you moved on upstairs. You could hear them respond in the same matter as you held your gun with both hands and carefully climbed up the stairs.

You didn't let a sound slip your lips as you trekked the stairs up to the very last floor, save for the attic. For a drug house, everything was eerily quiet. It didn't feel like someone left in a hasty hurry.

It felt like as though there was no one there in the first place.

Your need to report that to your Sergeant faded away quickly once you saw smoke. It seized your full attention within a few seconds.

Smoke grenade was your first guess. Nasty things but nothing new.

That was, until you took several steps closer and the smell of the source journeyed through your nostrils. It clicked in your head immediately. Three years of being a squad lieutenant's girlfriend can do that to you. The scent of fire is nauseating and sweet, putrid and steaky, or something like leather being tanned over a flame. The smell  of it can be so thick and rich that it's almost a taste. Kelly's words rung in your head, and  you pulled your radio to your mouth.

"Call CFD! There's a fire on the third floor!" You informed, shielding your eyes. "Stand down! I repeat –"

Things went black after those words.

***

"We have a detective trapped on the third floor," Voight informed the first responders. "That's where the fire started."

Wallace nodded, "Squad 3, take the third floor."

Unlike Wallace, who had found his source of information in Voight, Kelly Severide had found it in Jay, who stood on the street visibly stressed. "Jay where's Y/N?"

Jay frowned, "She went to scope ahead. She was on the third floor when the whole place just blew up…"

"She could be unconscious right now," Kelly muttered. "Squad 3 let's go!"

Kelly Severide was already in the burning building when Chief Boden found out just who was trapped upstairs. "Dammit."

***

"Y/N?!"

Kelly's patience was thinning by the second. Knowing that his time is limited and that the place could blow in a stronger matter at any moment, he paced toward your unconscious body expeditiously.

Noticing the angry streak of blood that came from your nose had his heart in his throat. You were twisted in a way not normal for a human body to be in, catching him off guard the moment he laid his eyes on you.

Despite all that, Kelly still swooped in to grasp your limp body in his arms.

The stress of the last few days he went through didn't come close to a match with this very moment. "I'm coming down chief!"

For a moment Wallace wanted to bark back, but he bit his tongue. Love makes people do crazy things.

He knew that better than anyone.

"Get the hoses ready!" Boden announced and turned to the Intelligence.

"She'll be okay."

***

You were okay.

Maybe even better than you thought possible.

"Kelly wake up."

You smiled cheekily at doctor Mannig, who stood by your hospital bed, waiting for Kelly to wake up with the same thin line of patience as you.

You woke him up with a slap to his shoulder.

Natalie was beaming, her eyes sparkled despite the fact that she was the doctor to the most heavily guarded patient in the whole city of Chicago. "I think congratulations are in order."

"What do you mean?"

She winked before handing you the tablet, "You're 11 weeks along Y/N. Congratulations you two."

You shook your head wildly and pressed a palm to your mouth, acting out what your defense mechanism wanted you to do. "Oh God…"

"Really?" Kelly asked next to you. He had already grabbed your hand and gripped it tightly, holding you to the ground of your new reality. "Are you for real?"

She nodded, "The tests don't lie. I'm so happy for you two."

Natalie hugged you both closely before disappearing back into the crowded ER.

"Hey," Kelly murmured, grasping your chin with his index finger and thumb. "What's wrong? You're not happy? I thought…"

You shook your head immediately, stopping him from saying something that was untrue. "No, Kelly… I'm really happy."

Two heartbeats within one body. Your body.

A child that was going to take after you and the man you loved most in this world…

You felt so incredibly lucky at that moment.

Yet so guilty.

"Our baby could've died today…"

Fresh onset of tears attacked your eyes, pushing through until the moisture was dripping down your face, and you tried to muffle the hiccups with your hands. Everything started to make sense.

"Baby you didn't know…" He tried to calm you.

You shook your head violently, dropping his attempts into the water. "I should've known better. We didn't use protection... Then I felt so sick last week."

"Y/N-"

"But I was so obsessed with Parker Torres that-" You couldn't even finish the sentence because the guilt turned into anger. "God I'm so stupid!"

"Babe, look at me," Kelly's voice hardened yet the hands with which he cupped your face were gentle and comforting. "You didn't know, so none of this is your fault. If you knowingly went in there that's when it would have been your fault."

He kissed your tears away and gave you the softest smile ever. "Do you want to have this baby with me? Because if you don't, we can…"

You stopped him with a kiss.

You were venerable in the moment of the kiss, yet you never felt more at home. In this kiss is the promise of years of love and the sweetness of life. No one mattered at that moment. Not Parker… Not anyone. Only you two and the vow you just shared.

The next few weeks will be hard, that much you knew. You were introduced to a new reality and priorities shifted. The hunt for your skeleton will continue in the hands of the people you trust most and as months go by the light will greet the darkness of your tunnel.

But the next few years, you see nothing but light and happiness.

No skeletons to torture your life, but a baby and a soulmate to make it better.

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MASTERLIST

[incoherentbabblings]

Hi!

I love your content, your love for TimSteph, and I was actually going to ask what you love so much about them. I, for extra credit for English, decided to write an analysis of Stephanie (and why I love her so much), but I just got into comics, and cannot really put my feelings for her in words ... which is odd, considering how much I love her and writing. Also, I was going to do a section on why TimSteph is narrative genius, and I needed help elaborating on that too.

Could you help me out, please? Thanks!

(I feel the need to mention that I have read quite a lot of comics with Stephanie in them, though not all. I'm not much of a comic book fan, but I'm really interested in the Batfamily!)

I'll be very happy to write out bullet points that you could talk about, and feel free to go through my ask and I'll babble/TimSteph meta tags for anything that you think may be worth discussing in your own words - there's like four or so years of stuff there to spark your brain.

HOWEVER!!!! Keep in mind though that much of what I have written is half based on textual evidence and half me just writing what I like/wish would crop up in canon.

For example, yes I like to draw comparisons between Tim being cold and Steph being warm, moon and sun and so on, but there's genuinely nothing in text to hint as this being an actual character trait or symbolism. If anything Tim's stated to be warm several times, more than Steph.

So, and I am sorry to be so blunt, but if I take your request in bad faith for a moment, don't use either directly or indirectly what I've written for your work. Especially without actually going and reading the arcs I talk about. A lot of the time it doesn't hold up under genuine textual scrutiny, and we want to be good academics here! There's Death of the Author and then there's me making crap up because I want to include it in a fanfic. Not the same thing! My blog is called IncoherentBabblings for a reason after all!

I will therefore say this: If you want to write about Steph as a character, I would use the below video as a point of reference. Using the below, you can then go into why she resonates with you the way she does, or why her relationship with Tim is so interesting to you.

If I were you: focus on her dynamic character development: cynical to idealistic. And use three points in her publication history to do this: her introduction in Detective Comics, War Games, and Batgirl. I am sorry to recommend War Games as something to read but it is important to her character. Use the Stephanie Brown Wiki to help!

That lends itself to a biography of her character, a look at her motivations and values, her role within the batfam, and so on. You can also use this to make comparisons with her peers, specifically Tim moving in the exact opposite direction development wise; Babs and Cass in their approaches to Batgirl; and the other Robins through her similar character progression as Dick, which in turn allows her to be a good mentor to Damian, and finally how her character arc runs perpendicular to Jason's. Does that make sense?

Anyway, let's get going! If I were to write an academic piece on Stephanie, these are the main points I would work through. In other words, this is what I would do. You probably will not need nor want to go into this level of depth, and you will want to make it much more personal about why she resonates with you, which may be different to why I love her. So don't worry about touching base with all of them. This is like... 10,000 word essay level stuff. And don't get overwhelmed. I've taken your request far too seriously is all.

Again, I can't write it for you! You gotta do the reading and writing I'm afraid.

...But I still wrote 1,500 words anyway. Gosh darnnit.

Steph’s Character Development

Always keep three points in her character history in mind – her aged 14/15 in her introductory arc in Detective Comics, her aged 16 in War Games, and her aged 18/19 in her Batgirl run.

How does she change? How does she grow as a character? What events caused these changes? Compare that angry 14-year-old trying to choke her father, to the 19-year-old crying happily on the roof. A lot happened between those two points! Outline the main plot beats.

Steph's Role as a Batfam Character:

Protagonist or Antagonist: Supporting Protagonist

Static or Dynamic: Dynamic (think of her character development - angry to alturistic; she softens in her life outlook and in the way she treats others as the years go by)

Minor or Major: Minor and we all mourn that fact :(

Foil or Symbolic: A foil to Tim Drake (and to a lesser extent the other Robins, specifically Jason Todd)

Importance of the character/Position in Society: Fourth Robin, third Batgirl, own superhero. Tim's girlfriend, Cassandra's best friend, one of many of Bruce's 'children'. Initially introduced just as a one-off character for a small arc in Detective Comics, brought back with the intention of being a supporting character to Tim Drake, and eventual love interest. Eventually gained enough popularity on her own terms to support her own solo comic, but has since returned to a supporting role. The character she supports, at the end of the day, is Bruce Wayne.

Motivation

What influences their decisions?: Stephanie's dynamic characterisation comes in here. Compare her motivations during her introductory arc, versus why she does what she does in War Games, versus why she dresses up at Batgirl - Stopping her father, getting Batman's approval, need for redemption.

What do they value?: Values emotional openness, vulnerability, second/third/fourth chances.

Goals/Hopes/Dreams: No long term goals/hopes/dreams in the domestic sense... Continue to be vigilante. Be respected by her peers. Continue to improve self worth through deeds. Graduate college?

What are their views: Views the justice system and police as corrupt, but still trusts in the inherent goodness of people. Focus is usually on the individual, rather than societal or structural.

Actions

Behaviour, Attitudes, Impact on Story and other Characters, Internal Struggle (Wants versus Needs): This is why I think you are best to look at three points in her story - Intro Arc, War Games, Batgirl. Focus on her Wants versus Needs - Steph's take a very long time to align, but they finally do in Batgirl.

Character development is usually driven by the conflict between what a character wants. The plot forces them normally to confront the fact that what they want is not gonna work out, and what they needed instead takes priority.

Everything usually goes tits up for Steph when she is in the driver's seat of the narrative because what she wants from a situation is rarely what she actually needs to happen. See every time she seeks Bruce's approval. She wants it. She absolutely does not need it. And only as Batgirl do we get that acknowledgement, which coincides with her being at the healthiest point in her life emotionally. Look at what she wants as Spoiler during her introductory arc, as Robin/Spoiler during War Games, and then as Batgirl. Why is she so unhappy in the former two? Why have her wants finally aligned with her needs with her time as Batgirl?

Character Traits

Personality: Cynical but perky. Sardonic but sincere. Think about how she changes over the time. This can be attributed to her different writers, but - for example - is there a universe reason for why Batgirl Stephanie is so much more socially awkward than Spoiler Stephanie?

Strengths & Weaknesses: Link these two together because Steph is a very good example where her strengths as a character can simultaneously be a weakness. Her determination can lead to her making ill conceived decisions. Her empathy can lead to her putting her trust in the wrong people. Her forgiving nature can lead to her being taken advantage of. Her temper, whilst landing her in hot water, can also just as often get her out of it.

Relationships

How do they interact with others: Focus on which characters pop up in all three arcs – Steph and her parents; Steph and Bruce; Steph and Tim. I am chucking Cass out the window here, sorry Cass, but if you’re focusing on these three arcs, Cass doesn’t really fit in.

How others view them: Conditional love/affection from her father and Bruce. Unconditional love/affection from Tim and her mother (though both are not without serious pitfalls).

How they view others: Stephanie has explicitly never loved her father. She has also never explicitly hated him either. What does that say about her? Look at her changing closeness with her mother. What changed between them, and again, what does that say about Stephanie? Crystal got sober, supported Stephanie through her pregnancy, Arthur was removed from their lives, Stephanie makes a conscious effort to be closer to her after returning ‘from the dead’, though continues to lie consistently to her. Stephanie admires Bruce, whilst also right from the get go insisting she does not answer to him. She never quite lets go of wanting that approval.

How does society view them: Her outsider role within the Batfam. She never quite belongs, and at points her closest relationships are actively discouraged from seeing her. Which Tim specifically never entertains. This outsider nature bites literally everyone in the butt during War Games. Her outsider status is still in place by the time Batgirl concludes, due to its largely self-contained nature as a book, but this is less being an outsider more having earned to right to operate independently. Trust has been given and earned.

Dialogue

What does she say and how: A teenage girl in New Jersey from a working class background has a very distinct voice. She does not mince words, nor does she hide what she is feeling. If she is happy, she will say so. If she is annoyed, she will say so. What she won’t do is ask for help when she needs it, due to her background formulating a need for her ‘to do things on her own’.

Think of famous/important Steph quotes from the three arcs I keep talking about – the excuse me if I don’t jump when you bark, the I really was part of the legend, the only variable you can control is yourself. These show how Steph views others and herself.

When I was writing I Would Have Loved You, I literally made a spreadsheet where I have picked out what I think are pertinent quotes from every New 52 issue featuring Tim or Steph along with a synopsis that explained what they were up to/what the main theme of the issue was. Not saying you should do the same because I’m just that goddamn anal when it comes to this sort of stuff, but the point is – look for quotes by/about Steph which highlight the above things we’ve talked about. You have thirty years to go through!

Author Intention

What purpose does this character serve?: A character that young female readers could get attached to – the every girl/girl next door archetype or a character that young boys could have a crush on – the kind of girl who’s into the same sort of stuff as you, I think Chuck Dixon once said of her, from her initial appearance. Fodder for Bruce and Tim’s man pain in War Games. Batgirl it’s a combination of filling the void for a female lead solo character in the batbooks, but also tonally taking on a much lighter and self-contained book that new readers could jump into very easily, directly compared to the more lore heavy Batman, Detective Comics, and Red Robin books.

What is the author trying to communicate: Steph’s character shows that determination can only get a person so far, a support system and doing things for the right reasons (again remember that want versus need argument) is the only way a person will genuinely succeed.

What is her main theme?: Balancing cynicism and idealism – doing acts for the right reasons, and discovering what these reasons actually are.

...

Is this even usable for anyone but myself? Possibly not!

Still... Go write! And good luck!

[pink-peony-princess]

I'll Always Protect the People I Love

I really couldn't tell you how it happened, one minute I was hanging up washing on the line and the next I was on the ground in a load of pain. It had been one of those days, you know the ones where everything goes wrong? First I woke up late and missed an important virtual meeting,then I somehow managed to knock over a massive glass of water,the contents going absolutely everywhere. All over my bedside table, my phone (luckily it was waterproof) and several important pieces of paper which I'd been reading for the very meeting I had missed.

Maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I shouldn't have even bothered with today? Maybe I'd have been better if I had stayed in bed. One thing was for sure, I'd be in less pain right now.The only good thing was that my husband who usually worked as a doctor in the local hospital's E.D had taken an annual leave day to get the filing done which he'd gotten behind on.

"Crap," I hissed as I lifted my arm to inspect the massive scrape that had resulted from the fall.

Everything hurt, my arm, my legs which I could see from the droplets of blood falling onto the concrete had also copped a nasty whack, even my side hurt. I could feel myself getting nauseous at the sight of the blood, I'd never been any good at anything to do with medical stuff, it just made me want to vomit. What Shawn got from it, I wasn't sure, but he was passinate about medicine and was always so good. Not only at solving the actual issue at hand, but at making connections with his patients,at gaining their trust.

I tried to stay calm, to take a few deep breaths, but I could feel my composure crumbling as all the day's events caught up to me.

"Shawn!" I called out,voice shaking with the effort of trying to hold back tears. "Shawn," I shouted a little louder when there was no response. Finally I was met with the sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

"April, what's the matter, I was in the middle of a -" he stopped dead in the middle of the yard when he saw me.

"What happened?" he asked, recovering his composure quickly and rushing over to me.

"I tripped," I sniffled, as he bent down,noticing the blood on my hands and knees, and the way I was holding my aching side.

"I can see that baby," he spoke softly, lifting the hem of my dress up just enough to see how far up the wound was.

"This looks nasty and sore," he commented, pouting,causing me to whimper. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, especially from him,someone who spent his days seeing gross wounds and abbrassions.

"It hurts," I cried reaching for him out of habit,only to have my hands sting in protest. I couldn't help the tears that came steadily now, rolling down my face and clouding my vision.

"Oh, honey, please don't cry," he shushed me, reaching up to wipe them away. "It's okay, I'll fix you up, I promise,"

"I'm sorry for being a cry-baby," I muttered scrubbing at my tears with the back of my hand.

"You're not a cry-baby Honey,you've just had a tough day is all," he replied,pressing a kiss to my forehead. I sat there for a minute forgetting the pain,just resting my head against his chest, letting him hold me. He was the one person in the world, who could always make things better.

"Alright Princess, do you think you can stand up?" he asked,taking hold of my upper arms, supporting most of my weight. I stood slowly,my entire body felt as if it was simultaneously being set on fire and hit by a truck.

We made our way inside. Slowly. Incredibly slowly, but Shawn was patient as I hobbled along beside him.

"Here, sit down here," he told me, helping me onto one of the dining room chairs.

"But what about the blood?" I pointed to the blood which was still flowing slowly from several of the wounds.

"It's okay, the chairs can be cleaned," he replied clearly unphased."I'm going to get the first aid kit, stay there," he told me.

"Not like I can go anywhere," I retorted making him laughed as he ran off in the direction of the bathroom.

He came running back less than a minute later, "I'm okay Shawn," I laughed,going to lean back in the chair, but the contact caused the grazes on my back to sting furiously. "Ah," I hissed, leaning forward again.

"Yeah, you look fine," Shawn sassed back, placing the large box of medical supplies on the ground and opening it. It was overwhelming just looking at all the different things. I had no idea how Shawn knew what he was doing, but he obviously did, because he pulled about 5 different things out, before looking up at me.

"Alright sweets,I'm going to wipe off your hands and knees first,it might sting a bit, just tell me if it gets too much and I'll stop okay?" he told, looking up at me as he pulled the wrapper off an antiseptic wipe and gently wiped it across my left knee.

"Ahh," I hissed, fresh tears coming to my eyes,my hand flying to his, stopping him from what he was doing.

"I know it hurts baby," he moved his other hand up to rest on my thigh comfortingly. "But if we don't get this all cleaned up then you risk getting an infection,who knows what sort of stuff has been on that ground, especially with Tarzan out there now,"

At the sound of his name Tarzan came running, tentatively putting one paw up on my lap.

"Aw, Tarzan,good boy, you come to look after Mummy hey, you know she's sad," he cooed,wiping my knee again. It hurt as much as the last time, but I tried to stay still and let Shawn do what he needed to.

"And I'm done," Shawn smiled five minutes later, stepping back from your hands as he gave them one last wipe.

I sighed, feeling relieved, but then I remembered he still had to deal with my side and back, and I knew that would be worse that both my hands and my knees. I'd really done a number on myself there,having landed with most of my weight in that one area.

"I think we're probably better off going to the bathroom for your side, from what I saw outside I'll need to give it a proper rinse out before I do anything with it," he spoke,causing me to groan.

"I know honey, but I promise once I've dealt with it you're all done then how about we have snuggles on the couch and other a take out?" We didn't often get to spend a truly lazy night together with both of our jobs being as crazy as they were.

Really?" I asked, smiling properly for the first time all day.

"Really," he smiled back "Work can wait till tomorrow, my poor invalid baby is more important," he pouted, causing me to laugh, as he helped me to the bathroom.

"That's my favourite sound you know," he told me as he helped me undress and get situated in the tub so he could use the detachable head to wash out the wound.

I smiled, feeling suddenly shy, even after being married for a year, and together for 4 he still had that effect on me.

He spent a few more minutes getting everything set up, towels,bandages, antiseptic wash, tweezers, before he finally turned the water on low, being careful not to get any water on the wounds he'd just dressed.

"Can you turn around for me April?" he asked, helping me to maneuver my body the way he needed it."I'm going to start washing it out now baby, there's a fair bit of dirt and crap caked in there so I'll need to give it a good rinse out. Do you wanna hold my hand?" he offered, extending the hand he wasn't using which I took immediately. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation.

As soon as the water hit it, my whole side felt like it was on fire, the tears that I had managed to hold at bay until now, flowing freely. "I know Princess," he soothed, "One more minute okay," I nodded, opening my eyes, watching as he skillfully flushed the wound. "Can you arch your back for me a bit?" he asked stopping the water momentarily. I did what he asked, leaning over, seeing for the first time just how much blood was coming from me. The bathtub had streams of red water that just seemed to keep coming.

"Shawn," I squeeked, the blood.

"It's okay, Honey,I promise you it looks way worse than it actually is," he tried to console me continuing to work on my wound. I sat there, like I had outside trying not to focus on it, but I could feel the familiar twist of my stomach as he nausea set in,waves of dizziness washing over me like the water.

"Shawn, I-Im going to be sick," I gasped, holding my bandaged hand over my mouth. He was quick to act, switching off the water immediately, and reaching for the trash can that sat next to the toilet, holding it under my chin.

"Deep breaths, April," he spoke softly,pushing some of the hair that had fallen into my eyes out the way.

"You must think I'm such a whimp," I groaned, head still over the bin as I tried and failed to take steady breaths.

"Not at all," he promised, "You're just not good with blood, lots of people are like that, hey, at least you haven't fainted," he laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I feel like I'm going to," I whispered.

"It's okay, just breathe, that's it, nice long breathes," he coached still holding the bin patiently.

Finally after five minutes of sitting like that, the feeling started to lessen and I was able to sit up again. I must have looked like a complete mess, because the look of pity on Shawn's face was ridiculous.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he placed the bin down beside him and took my hand.

I nodded still not entirely trusting myself.

"Ready to get out and I'll fix the rest up out on the couch?" he asked offering me his hand again.

I nodded again,allowing him help me out of the bath and wrap a towel around my body.

We made our way back to the loving room slowly where he deposited me onto the couch, before running back to get the things he needed from the bathroom.

"How bad is it?" I asked, as he sat down beside me.

"I've seen better I've seen worse, it's not as bad as it probably feels though," he added in sympathy.

"What do you need to do?" I asked, turning to look at him. He frowned, obviously weighing up whether to tell me or of it was better to keep me in the dark.

"I need to get this gravel outta the wound before I dress it," he answered carefully. "Why don't you turn the T.V. on while I work?" he suggested quickly when he saw my face fall. He grabbed the remote off the table and handed it to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked when the screen came on.

"Whatever you wanna watch babe, I'll be focussed on this."

I nodded,turning on Once Upon A Time, immediately being pulled into the fantasy. The story helping to distract me. He kept a hand on my good shoulder the whole time he worked, occasionally squeezing it when I let out a whimper at a particularly sore spot.

"All done," he announced as he stuck the adhesive strip down half an hour later.

"Really?" I asked, turning to see he was indeed done, already in the process of picking up all the trash, going to dispose of it safely in the bin.

When he came back he had a glass of water, a bottle of Tylenol and an ice-pack in his hands.

"Here babe, take these,it should help with some of the pain," he spoke, coming around the couch to hand them to me, before sitting down next to me.

"What's the ice-pack for?"

"For your back, it'll help to stop the bruising," he lifted me onto his lap confusing me slightly.

"Won't you be cold?" I questioned as he placed the ice-pack between my back and his chest, pulling me back

"I could never be cold with you around baby," he murmured kissing my head, leaning back into the sofa.

"Thank you for looking after me," I spoke after a few minutes of comfortable quiet in which we were both focussed on the television.

"Of course baby," he replied, running a hand gently through my scalp. "I'll always protect the people I love."

[detectiveinchicago]

Sparks Fly: Chapter 7

Chapters list here

Note: Hi guys! Thank u for all the comments and reviews, you are amazing. If you want to be tag in this story please let me know. Sorry for taking so long for this one. English is not my first language. Enjoy xxx. 

DISCLAIMER: GIF IS NOT MINE.

WARNING: Bad language 

“What is this?” Jess asked getting out of the car.

“This is the most annoying police unit in the world” Caitlyn answered looking across the street.

“They don’t give up, do they?” O.A asked looking at the suspect in custody.

“They clearly don’t” Caitlyn answered again rolling her eyes.

"I think we should have a link with them, one or two people who can give us a better picture. They play local" Sheryll explained “I was like them” she added referring to the fact that she once was a NYPD cop.

"This is not how we work Sheryll" Jess said looking at her.

"They can help us talk to the detectives who investigated the previous cases and save us time” Hanna added looking at Jess.

“This is also a local gang, they have advantage” Kenny said talking for the first time. Every time he spoke, Caitlyn’s heart was a complete mess. God, he still had that effect on her, even after all those years.

“If they are so good why they couldn't catch this man when he wasn't out of control yet?” Jess asked.

"I’m good Jess, because you taught me right and I couldn’t even touch this guy so far” Caitlyn answered quietly “Believe in me, they are not my cup of tea but we need them"

"I know you don't team up with cops Jess but we can give it a try" O.A said looking at Jess shrugging his shoulders.

"It’s the most annoying elite unit for sure" Caitlyn added rolling her eyes “But it’s an elite unit after all”

Jess walked through the police line to the Intelligence Unit that was now picking up suspects to put them in the car.

"Sergeant, I am Jess Lacroix, Special Agent in Charge of the Most Wanted team" Jess showed up holding out her hand.

"Sergeant Hank Voight" Voight replied curtly shaking Jess's hand.

"I'm going to need you to give us the suspects, we have a search warrant” Jess said.

'We have one too" Voight answered with an unfriendly face.

"This man is on the Most Wanted list" Jess explained peacefully “but if you want you can choose two of your detectives to join us and keep you update with the investigation”

"Halstead, Upton” Voight called his detectives “You are joining them, I want daily updates”

“Good for me Sergeant” Hailey answered looking at them.

“So what do we know?” Sheryll asked looking at the suspects in handcuffs.

“This is a local gang, well known allies of the Russian mafia that has several crimes to their credit among them are known for the trafficking of women” Upton explained.

“I went undercover to see if I could find out some information about their drugs. We believe that this gang provides drugs to Russians for the trafficking of women, so if they are providers of the Russians then there is a very good possibility that they are also offering this drugs to our suspect” Caitlyn explained to the Most Wanted team.

“Which drugs?” Jess asked

"The common ones but the police think they are also offering GHB, Zolpidem, Benzodiazepines, MDMA” O.A answered.

“Rape drugs” Sheryll said looking at Jess.

“Did any of the victims test positive?” Jess asked.

“All victims tested positive for benzodiazepines” Upton said.

“Thing is that benzodiazepines are prescribed to treat anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, and several other conditions, and are also frequently used recreationally but since he uses them very often we think he must be buying them” O.A explained.

“We need to test the other victims” Caitlyn told him.

“Other victims?” Jay asked his sister surprised by this new piece of information.

“We think there were at least fifty-five victims in Chicago in the last six years” Caitlyn admitted looking at him.

“We were hoping you can help us out to check this with the detectives who run these cases, most of them went to different detectives but we figure his M.O out” O.A said.

“All the victims were brunette with blue eyes and were wearing red lipstick” Cailtyn added “I asked the forensic to run a lab on the lipstick”

“So he has a type” Hanna concluded.

“But not an M.O, that’s how he kept police distracted. He cuts their fingerprints in most of the cases and usually all the victims died stabbed or in a very violent way” O.A answered.

“Ok, split out, find something useful” Jess said while Caitlyn started looking around, she saw and alley next to the house.

“Hey, is that a camera?” She asked a police officer pointing at the brick wall “Do you think it works?”

“It might, doesn’t seem too damage” The officer answered.

“Get that footage out for me, would you?” Caitlyn asked looking at the camera in the alley before turning around. She saw Kenny working on the car with his computer so she started walking towards him. She rubbed her sweaty hands and took a deep breath but before she could even open her mouth Kenny spoke first.

"How many hearts do you think you have broken since you left me, Catilyn?" He asked without even looked at her. He was completely sure that she had moved on very quickly, probably start dating people a few months after she left.

Caitlyn was astonished. To say that the question had taken her by surprise was an understatement. “Wait, What…? Where that question even came from?”

“What do you need?” Kenny asked with an annoyed face.

“I came here to tell you that I have just found a camera in the backyard and that I told CPD to get that footage out for me so you can check it out” Caitlyn answer starting to feel enraged “Stupid son of a bitch” she whispered to herself.

She was completely furious. How dared he to talk her like that? She was just trying to be nice since they were going to work together. She could think a thousand of insults to him, she couldn’t believe the boldness and presumption of Kenny.

————flashback————

It had been two months since she had left Kenny but Caitlyn was still trying to get back into her feet. She was having a rough time adapting to the new office, the new coworkers and the new expectations, something that everyone seems to have about her. She couldn’t complain tough; her teammates were pretty cool but they weren’t the Most Wanted team. Sheryll and Clinton texted her a few times to see how she was doing and of course Jess called or texted her almost every day but still. She was still feeling like crap. Caitlyn was seeing a therapist weekly and that was helping a lot. The first month she could barely sleep or do anything at all. And also, there were the panic attacks every time she came home, when she realized she was all by herself and really lonely. No friends, no family. Loneliness was the worst part of it, feeling the silence and the lack of people in her house, not only because of Kenny but also because of her team, they spent so much time together that she was never really alone. The first few days, she used to sit there just listening to the silence. She started having nightmares about her tours for the first time since she got back from Middle East, at first it was about Angelyne, Jess wife but then it was about everything, things she wasn’t even afraid of. In all those years she had never even have one nightmare and now she was falling apart. Therapist said it was due to the stress and anxiety.

“You did it good today, new girl” Her partner O.A said walking into the locker room and taking her out of her thoughts.

“Thanks, I’m trying to” Cailtyn answered taking her bag “See you tomorrow” she added walking to the door before Scola walked in.

“So who wants to go to that bar in Soho to celebrate a case well done?” Scola said walking to his locker.

“Mm, nice. I’m in” Kristen said walking in with Emily.

“Let’s go then” O.A accepted.

“We can watch tonight’s game” Emily added.

“What do you say new girl? Are you in?”

“I think I’m going home for tonight; it was a tough case”

“Oh come on! You have been here for a month now and you haven’t go out with us not even once so I’m start thinking that you might hate us”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and sigh to that monologue “Ok, let’s go then” she said.

How bad a few drinks can be after all? It was better than staying at home alone for sure. Caitlyn knew she was going to be alright eventually, maybe someday. Caitlyn knew it deep inside her. One day she will be ready to move on. Maybe having a game night with her teammates was a good start for that path.

————flashback————

“I saw you talking to Kenny” O.A walking from behind her “How did the ex-husband – ex-wife talk go?”

Caitlyn gave him a death look “I hate people O.A”

“Oh, that bad?” He said raising his eyebrows

“He asked me how many hearts do I think I broke since I left him” Caitlyn answered rolling her eyes.

“So he is angry” O.A commented

“As if I wasn't too, he wasn't the only one in the relationship, the last time I checked there were two of us”

“Wasn’t? So you are not angry anymore” O.A pointed raising his eyebrows.

“I moved on, O.A” Caitlyn commented looking at her partner.

His partner replied “Did you? You have just told me one hour ago that you possibly haven’t move on, that your heart stops every time he looks away and that he makes you feel like a teenager”

Caitlyn gave him a death look “I changed my mind” she said clenching her teeth.

“We are taking them to HQ for questioning” Sheryll said “We found some stuff at the house but no drugs so far”

“C’mon, let’s see if we can find this son of a bitch” Caitlyn answered looking at them.

--------------------------------------------

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[pinkpeonyprincessblog]

I'll Always Protect the People I Love

I really couldn't tell you how it happened, one minute I was hanging up washing on the line and the next I was on the ground in a load of pain. It had been one of those days, you know the ones where everything goes wrong? First I woke up late and missed an important virtual meeting,then I somehow managed to knock over a massive glass of water,the contents going absolutely everywhere. All over my bedside table, my phone (luckily it was waterproof) and several important pieces of paper which I'd been reading for the very meeting I had missed.

Maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I shouldn't have even bothered with today? Maybe I'd have been better if I had stayed in bed. One thing was for sure, I'd be in less pain right now.The only good thing was that my husband who usually worked as a doctor in the local hospital's E.D had taken an annual leave day to get the filing done which he'd gotten behind on.

"Crap," I hissed as I lifted my arm to inspect the massive scrape that had resulted from the fall.

Everything hurt, my arm, my legs which I could see from the droplets of blood falling onto the concrete had also copped a nasty whack, even my side hurt. I could feel myself getting nauseous at the sight of the blood, I'd never been any good at anything to do with medical stuff, it just made me want to vomit. What Shawn got from it, I wasn't sure, but he was passinate about medicine and was always so good. Not only at solving the actual issue at hand, but at making connections with his patients,at gaining their trust.

I tried to stay calm, to take a few deep breaths, but I could feel my composure crumbling as all the day's events caught up to me.

"Shawn!" I called out,voice shaking with the effort of trying to hold back tears. "Shawn," I shouted a little louder when there was no response. Finally I was met with the sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

"April, what's the matter, I was in the middle of a -" he stopped dead in the middle of the yard when he saw me.

"What happened?" he asked, recovering his composure quickly and rushing over to me.

" I tripped," I sniffled, as he bent down,noticing the blood on my hands and knees, and the way I was holding my aching side.

"I can see that baby," he spoke softly, lifting the hem of my dress up just enough to see how far up the wound was.

"This looks nasty and sore," he commented, pouting,causing me to whimper. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, especially from him,someone who spent his days seeing gross wounds and abbrassions.

"It hurts," I cried reaching for him out of habit,only to have my hands sting in protest. I couldn't help the tears that came steadily now, rolling down my face and clouding my vision.

"Oh, honey, please don't cry," he shushed me, reaching up to wipe them away. "It's okay, I'll fix you up, I promise,"

"I'm sorry for being a cry-baby," I muttered scrubbing at my tears with the back of my hand.

"You're not a cry-baby Honey,you've just had a tough day is all," he replied,pressing a kiss to my forehead. I sat there for a minute forgetting the pain,just resting my head against his chest, letting him hold me. He was the one person in the world, who could always make things better.

"Alright Princess, do you think you can stand up?" he asked,taking hold of my upper arms, supporting most of my weight. I stood slowly,my entire body felt as if it was simultaneously being set on fire and hit by a truck.

We made our way inside. Slowly. Incredibly slowly, but Shawn was patient as I hobbled along beside him.

"Here, sit down here," he told me, helping me onto one of the dining room chairs.

"But what about the blood?" I pointed to the blood which was still flowing slowly from several of the wounds.

"It's okay, the chairs can be cleaned," he replied clearly unphased."I'm going to get the first aid kit, stay there," he told me.

"Not like I can go anywhere," I retorted making him laughed as he ran off in the direction of the bathroom.

He came running back less than a minute later, "I'm okay Shawn," I laughed,going to lean back in the chair, but the contact caused the grazes on my back to sting furiously. "Ah," I hissed, leaning forward again.

"Yeah, you look fine," Shawn sassed back, placing the large box of medical supplies on the ground and opening it. It was overwhelming just looking at all the different things. I had no idea how Shawn knew what he was doing, but he obviously did, because he pulled about 5 different things out, before looking up at me.

"Alright sweets,I'm going to wipe off your hands and knees first,it might sting a bit, just tell me if it gets too much and I'll stop okay?" he told, looking up at me as he pulled the wrapper off an antiseptic wipe and gently wiped it across my left knee.

"Ahh," I hissed, fresh tears coming to my eyes,my hand flying to his, stopping him from what he was doing.

"I know it hurts baby," he moved his other hand up to rest on my thigh comfortingly. "But if we don't get this all cleaned up then you risk getting an infection,who knows what sort of stuff has been on that ground, especially with Tarzan out there now,"

At the sound of his name Tarzan came running, tentatively putting one paw up on my lap.

"Aw, Tarzan,good boy, you come to look after Mummy hey, you know she's sad," he cooed,wiping my knee again. It hurt as much as the last time, but I tried to stay still and let Shawn do what he needed to.

"And I'm done," Shawn smiled five minutes later, stepping back from your hands as he gave them one last wipe.

I sighed, feeling relieved, but then I remembered he still had to deal with my side and back, and I knew that would be worse that both my hands and my knees. I'd really done a number on myself there,having landed with most of my weight in that one area.

"I think we're probably better off going to the bathroom for your side, from what I saw outside I'll need to give it a proper rinse out before I do anything with it," he spoke,causing me to groan.

"I know honey, but I promise once I've dealt with it you're all done then how about we have snuggles on the couch and other a take out?" We didn't often get to spend a truly lazy night together with both of our jobs being as crazy as they were.

Really?" I asked, smiling properly for the first time all day.

"Really," he smiled back "Work can wait till tomorrow, my poor invalid baby is more important," he pouted, causing me to laugh, as he helped me to the bathroom.

"That's my favourite sound you know," he told me as he helped me undress and get situated in the tub so he could use the detachable head to wash out the wound.

I smiled, feeling suddenly shy, even after being married for a year, and together for 4 he still had that effect on me.

He spent a few more minutes getting everything set up, towels,bandages, antiseptic wash, tweezers, before he finally turned the water on low, being careful not to get any water on the wounds he'd just dressed.

"Can you turn around for me April?" he asked, helping me to maneuver my body the way he needed it."I'm going to start washing it out now baby, there's a fair bit of dirt and crap caked in there so I'll need to give it a good rinse out. Do you wanna hold my hand?" he offered, extending the hand he wasn't using which I took immediately. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation.

As soon as the water hit it, my whole side felt like it was on fire, the tears that I had managed to hold at bay until now, flowing freely. "I know Princess," he soothed, "One more minute okay," I nodded, opening my eyes, watching as he skillfully flushed the wound. "Can you arch your back for me a bit?" he asked stopping the water momentarily. I did what he asked, leaning over, seeing for the first time just how much blood was coming from me. The bathtub had streams of red water that just seemed to keep coming.

"Shawn," I squeeked, the blood.

"It's okay, Honey,I promise you it looks way worse than it actually is," he tried to console me continuing to work on my wound. I sat there, like I had outside trying not to focus on it, but I could feel the familiar twist of my stomach as he nausea set in,waves of dizziness washing over me like the water.

"Shawn, I-Im going to be sick," I gasped, holding my bandaged hand over my mouth. He was quick to act, switching off the water immediately, and reaching for the trash can that sat next to the toilet, holding it under my chin.

"Deep breaths, April," he spoke softly,pushing some of the hair that had fallen into my eyes out the way.

"You must think I'm such a whimp," I groaned, head still over the bin as I tried and failed to take steady breaths.

"Not at all," he promised, "You're just not good with blood, lots of people are like that, hey, at least you haven't fainted," he laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I feel like I'm going to," I whispered.

"It's okay, just breathe, that's it, nice long breathes," he coached still holding the bin patiently.

Finally after five minutes of sitting like that, the feeling started to lessen and I was able to sit up again. I must have looked like a complete mess, because the look of pity on Shawn's face was ridiculous.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he placed the bin down beside him and took my hand.

I nodded still not entirely trusting myself.

"Ready to get out and I'll fix the rest up out on the couch?" he asked offering me his hand again.

I nodded again,allowing him help me out of the bath and wrap a towel around my body.

We made our way back to the loving room slowly where he deposited me onto the couch, before running back to get the things he needed from the bathroom.

"How bad is it?" I asked, as he sat down beside me.

"I've seen better I've seen worse, it's not as bad as it probably feels though," he added in sympathy.

"What do you need to do?" I asked, turning to look at him. He frowned, obviously weighing up whether to tell me or of it was better to keep me in the dark.

"I need to get this gravel outta the wound before I dress it," he answered carefully. "Why don't you turn the T.V. on while I work?" he suggested quickly when he saw my face fall. He grabbed the remote off the table and handed it to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked when the screen came on.

"Whatever you wanna watch babe, I'll be focussed on this."

I nodded,turning on Once Upon A Time, immediately being pulled into the fantasy. The story helping to distract me. He kept a hand on my good shoulder the whole time he worked, occasionally squeezing it when I let out a whimper at a particularly sore spot.

"All done," he announced as he stuck the adhesive strip down half an hour later.

"Really?" I asked, turning to see he was indeed done, already in the process of picking up all the trash, going to dispose of it safely in the bin.

When he came back he had a glass of water, a bottle of Tylenol and an ice-pack in his hands.

"Here babe, take these,it should help with some of the pain," he spoke, coming around the couch to hand them to me, before sitting down next to me.

"What's the ice-pack for?"

"For your back, it'll help to stop the bruising," he lifted me onto his lap confusing me slightly.

"Won't you be cold?" I questioned as he placed the ice-pack between my back and his chest, pulling me back

"I could never be cold with you around baby," he murmured kissing my head, leaning back into the sofa.

"Thank you for looking after me," I spoke after a few minutes of comfortable quiet in which we were both focussed on the television.

"Of course baby," he replied, running a hand gently through my scalp. "I'll always protect the people I love."

[derl30]

ALTERED STATES REVIEW TIME!

OK, this tumblr is, today, a vehicle for me to review ALTERED STATES. And you (the one person who stumbled on this review two-hundred years from n- oh who am I kidding, when the aliens from A.I. who show up to thaw out Haley Joel Osment and the teddy bear who was the real hero of that movie find this) should be very excited about this. Because this movie is insane. And highly entertaining.

Yes, the movie poster looks like ass. If I told you this was a movie where William Hurt (not the William Hurt from that awful 90's Lost in Space remake, or the one who slept through an entire performance as Duke Leto in the Syfy miniseries of Dune. This is before the body snatchers got him) took ayahuasca and got in a isolation tank and it blew his mind so hard he started devolving into a neanderthal and creating dimensional portals and he couldn't stop because he was addicted to finding the truth of existence... Well you wouldn't get that from this poster, would you? So let's move on. Shall we?

The film opens in 1967 with William Hurt's character, psychopathologist Edward Jessup, already immersed in a sensory deprivation tank, whilst his colleague and “buddy” Bob Balaban (he's just Bob Balaban in everything I'm not giving you his character's name look it up yourself if it's bugging you so much) oversees.

Now, you may notice I put buddy in quotes. The reason for that is that Jessup is a self-obsessed ass who seemingly has no reason to be around other people unless he can expound to them one of his various monologues. Bob Balaban barely gets a word in edgewise throughout the entire film. Bob Balaban.

See, Jessup loves the sensory deprivation tank experience. Unsurprisingly, as it allows him to be completely alone with himself for hours.

Later, at perhaps the lamest party ever, a bunch of faculty are chilling out and listening to the Doors. Everyone we see is talking about Jessup. Why? Well, much as Jessup is obsessed with himself, everyone else seems to follow suit by being obsessed with him. One young woman, Emily, (Blair Brown) is introduced to him in this very shot below as he arrives at the party:

Notice how is framed in holy light? There is a closeup after, of him framed in blinding glowing light followed up with a zoom in on Emily's face, enraptured with this incredible dynamic man. So much so that the moment he tries to make a goddamn sandwich she starts grabbing his celery (get your mind out of the gutter) and flirting with him. Which for these two that means talking science, immediately. Talking more at each other than with each other. This is often the way with Paddy Chayefsky's scripts.

PAUSE

Paddy Chayefsky is doubtless one of the great American writers for the screen. He wrote Marty, The Hospital and Network (which is a fucking incredible piece of work). He got an Oscar for all three. He also wrote this movie (Altered States, remember? Good lord) and disowned it completely three weeks in to production. His scripts tend to have very intelligent, driven characters at the center, who monologue extensively at each other. These scripts are not attempting to sound naturalistic.

Ken Russell, however, directed the film. He, like Chayefsky, is top notch at what he does (Direct. I said he directed the film like a second ago, come on keep up). His films, like Women in Love, The Devils, (which was banned in several major countries upon release and has never been shown publicly in its full, uncut form (by the way it's a masterpiece)) the Who's Tommy, Gothic, and Lair of the White Worm are all fucking gonzo nuts. I mean like, when you gave this guy the reins, you were going to Overthetopsville and there will be no stops on this trip. And god bless! I love directors who GO for it!

You're getting the chance to make a movie. Stop hemming and hawing and hit me over the head with what you want to say! Film is a visual medium, USE IT!

I feel I might have made my feelings clear here. So, moving on...

Ken Russell and Paddy Chayefsky immediately started butting heads, right from the start. Chayefsky was a BIG deal, and he wanted control over the picture in a BIG way. Ken would listen to his suggestions on everything to lighting and set dressing, and politely tell him, “No.”, and continue being the director of the film. Chayefsky hated him pretty quickly.

He had much more control over films like The Hospital. Which, if you watch The Hospital, well, it shows. You've got great actors (George C. Scott, Dame Diana Rigg (Dame may be the greatest official title of all time)) saying great dialogue. But its just two very witty bitter people sort of expounding on topics and speaking at each other and suddenly admitting they are in love and discussing what drapes they will have to buy for their new home. It's utterly preposterous, and it doesn't work in the way Sidney Lumet got it to work in Network, by literally making one of the lead characters realize his life is turning into a ludicrous soap opera.

So of course Ken tried to humanize, naturalize, the dialogue sequences. And it works! The film feels more human than the Hospital or Network. Despite the fact that Jessup is literally becoming more and more inhuman throughout the film. One of the ways he does this is by having the character's eat, drink, and work on other things during the dialogue sequences. This is perfectly normal in film, it's called giving the actor “business” to do, during the scene. Chayefsky HATED this. “They are mumbling my precious dialogue! Chewing through it! Sucking it through a straw!” Sorry, Chayefsky buddy. It works for the picture. Chayefsky also felt the actors were too emotional with his dialogue. Right. See, they call that acting.

UNPAUSE

Which brings us back to the first meeting of Emily and Jessup at the party. They are eating during this important scene! I can just picture Chayefsky seeing this, and running to the studio brass to tattle and get Ken Russell fired (as he got Arthur Penn of Bonnie and Clyde fame fired before Ken Russell came on board).

Emily and Jessup are, true to Chayefsky form, extremely intelligent, driven people and hearing them discuss topics such as anthropology and schizophrenia is quite interesting. It's just that what is to come, film being a visual medium, will eclipse just about any dialogue, no matter how good, from our mind thingys.

The two give up on the science talk and go straight to banging on her couch. After, she asks what he was thinking about. His answer is priceless. “God. Jesus. Crucifixions.”

She smiles.

Bwahahaha! Oh Paddy Chayefsky, you sure know women.

He admits he used to have religious visions. She listens to him from the sweaty couch whilst he sits naked on the floor, and starts going on about his father's horrible death of cancer and his loss of faith. And he admits to her that he's a nut. Her response is to call him a fascinating bastard. I think Lucas may have taken notes for Padme and Anakin.

So naturally, they get married immediately.

But none of that matters because Jessup gets back in the sensory deprivation tank and has his first vision. A nightmare of his dying father and lost faith in christianity. It's pretty great, filled with foreboding hospital rooms, his father's face being covered in a burning Shroud of Turin, everything covered by horrible blood red clouds and then THIS FUCKING THING SHOWS UP AND ITS ALIVE AND WRIGGLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

excuse me...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The many-eyed goat is slaughtered over a gold bible and suddenly Jessups screwing Emily again and we enter a blood vessel looking thing and the vision ends and he never mentions this again. Oh. Okay,

Emily continues on about what a nut Jessup is as they make marriage plans. Her monologue:

“You're an unmitigated madman. You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are. I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. Even sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant... Which can be very nice, but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. (Emphasis mine)

"And you are a Faust-freak Eddie! You'd sell your soul to find the great truth. Well, human life doesn't have great truths. We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. I can't imagine living without you. So let's get married, and if it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster.”

It's a disaster.

As in, by the next scene. It starts off happy enough looking, they have kids and people are smiling. And hey, wow it's seven years later! But, well, see, whoops, they are getting a divorce. Well, not they. See, he is divorcing her because he considers the seven years with her a complete waste.

She still loves him, desperately. He doesn't give a shit about her or the kids. He tells Bob Balaban this, straight up. And then starts bugging him about deprivation tanks and Hinchi Indians in South America who have sacred mushrooms that can really fuck you up.

It's at this point you would like for Jessup to be hit by a Mack truck. But the movie continues on. By the way, this is one of the kids he doesn't give a crap about:

That's right. Drew Barrymore's first role is a kid that William Hurt doesn't give a shit about. Something that William Hurt would make a career out of with narcoleptic performances in Lost in Space and Syfy's Dune. So, Emily takes the kids to Africa for her anthropology work while Jessup goes to South America to go deeper into his own creepy mind.

The Hinchi Indians agree to allow him to participate in the drug ritual. They enter their holy cave.

This shot is beautiful. At this point the film becomes increasingly gorgeous. Ken Russell has started to go into overdrive, ladies and gentlemen. Buckle. Your. Seatbelts.

The Indians grab Jessup's hand and cut him, freaking him out. They pour his blood into the drug mixture. They begin to drink. Then he takes a sip. The intensity of the film here has quadrupled. The vision begins, fireworks going off all around him. He sees cave paintings of humans and komodo dragons and this:

The proper life he left behind with Emily. He's convulsing, sweating. The Indians are all around, masked. Snakes. He's laughing in pain. Energy spills from the void. A snake under the parasol strikes and begins to strangle him. He and Emily march toward a nuclear explosion as energy pours from the cut on his hand, becoming a lizard. From within a sandstorm, Emily watches him, naked. Jessup looks at her, entranced, as the soothing sands cover them both, slowly.

It's a beautiful sequence. A perfect film sequence. I can't overstate how strong the vision sequences are from this point forward. Great visual effects work and the madman mind of Ken Russell create something unforgettable, with it's own pace, independent from the rest of the film.

Jessup awakens with a komodo dragon laying before him, ripped to pieces. The Indians and the others all claim he killed it in rage. Jessup remembers nothing, takes samples of the drug to reproduce it, and goes back home.

Back home, Jessup keeps doing as much of the drug as he can and having Bob Balaban record results. They can't up the dosage any more so Jessup hops back in to the self deprivation tank to create a more extreme experience.

In his next session, Jessup states he is having a vision of early man, hunting a deer and killing it. Suddenly he states he is one of them, killing the deer. He begins to grunt like an animal. The two pull him out. He's incredibly pale, blood seeping out of his mouth. He can't speak, and has difficulty breathing. He insists they do an X-ray. It shows that there is a vocalizing lump in the front part of his throat. Jessup claims that his body had begun to revert to a simian state. The medical doctor agrees, stating the throat X-rays looks like that of a gorilla.

Luckily his throat returns to normal. So Jessup finishes up his day by having over a student of his and sleeping with her.

Our hero, people!

At this point we hardly feel sorry for him as his body suddenly begins to twist and bulge in the middle of the night, shifting in and out of neanderthal shapes. It's a horrific sequence, disturbing as hell. You certainly didn't expect the film to shift into body horror.

Jessup feels normal after a while. but sees visions of lava explosions, the birthing of the Earth all around him. Not a good sign.

He goes to pick up Emily from the airport the next day. She asks how he is doing.

“Oh, fine.”

Yeah right.

Emily has been told what Jessup has been doing and is worried, which of course pisses off Jessup even more. The guy is obviously obsessed with reaching the truth and root of existence, much as Emily surmised earlier, and we see he has no fear of even losing his own soul, again true to her word. The only thing that allows us to give a shit about him at this point is that Emily cares for him and she's decent people, okay?

So back Jessup goes into the tank with his ayahuasca or whatever it is. Alone. The tank door opens from the inside.

The hand that pushes it open is covered in thick hair. He's devolved.

Ape-Jessup escapes the tank room and chases a janitor around the building. Again, this scene is fucking freaky as hell. We can't get a good look at this screaming animal that was Jessup.

The janitor gets a guard to help and chases after him into the boiler room, where we finally get a good look at him when he assaults the security guard and escapes.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ape-Jessup runs through the city at night, making his way to the zoo where he kills a antelope and eats it. The Ape-Jessup sequence goes on way too long, but is nonetheless unforgettable. The makeup is much more convincing than the above picture suggests, and whoever performed Ape-Jessup did an admirable job.

The cops find an unconscious Jessup in the zoo and bring him in. Emily picks him up and questions him. Jessup admits everything that he can remember. He also admits that he probably killed that security guard. And once again doesn't seem to give a shit. Prick. He calls it the most supremely satisfying time of his life.

Even Emily seems disgusted with him. But, she's also fascinated with what he's accomplished. As an anthropologist, his transformation fascinates her. And so, she agrees to help oversee his next session. Big mistake.

Before the big session Emily and Jessup romantically reconnect, and then into the climactic session we go!

Get your popcorn ready!

After a few hours in to the session, the video monitor shows Jessup begin to literally melt apart like goo, reverting to primordial ooze, the very beginning of existence. An attempt to open the isolation tank doors blasts everyone unconscious, as light and energy pour forth. Emily is the only one left. She sees Jessup's life energy pulse from within the tank.

Rain pours down around them. The pipes on the walls twist and turn like jelly. The ground is covered with a pool of swirling fog and energy. Emily advances toward the vortex of the tank.

In the emptiness of the beginning of everything, Emily seizes the energy before her and reconstitutes Jessup.

They take him home. While he sleeps, Emily rages over the fact that she loves such a insane bastard, and can't get over him. And, then, after Bob Balaban leaves, leaving Emily alone, Jessup wakes up.

He sweetly admits that the truth he learned was that there was no learnable truth, just unknowable horror, and all that's real is human experience. And he'll be a good boy from now on. Well too bad!

Because that horrible truth isn't done with him, and it's back to goo-Jessup! Emily tries to help him, grabbing him, but this in turn effects her, turning her into a shimmering lava form of herself. Both of them begin to self-destruct as Jessup, enraged, watching her in pain, struggles to retake his humanity, slamming himself into the wall, reforming himself through sheer will and physicality. He grabs her and brings her back, mirroring what she did for him during the final session. They embrace naked in the hallway. He finally admits, “I love you, Emily.”

Fade to credits.

Awww true love!

What can I say to sum up? Awesome 80's practical effects. Genius wacko go-for-it Ken Russell directing. Out of this world vision sequences. A awake and actually remarkable performance from William Hurt. An occasionally turgid but often fascinating script by the ever ornery Paddy Chayefsky. Whats not to like?

Well, the ending is a little rushed. The ape sequence goes on for a little too long and takes up perhaps too much of the films overall running time. The central love story is, well... a little hard to swallow, but hey, I guess there really is somebody out there for everyone. Even self-absorbed, deadbeat, cheating, sensory deprivation loving, ayahuasca dropping, Harvard teachers with a messiah complex!

And on that note, aliens from A.I. Artifical Intelligence, have a good day, and don't leave poor Teddy alone with no one to keep him company!

Sayonara!

[lbat1901]

Rantception S1•E1 - princeofmints exposed | ft. TatSquirp

(I am about a month late on posting this here)

Welcome to the first episode of my brand new series titled Rantception where I talk about a topic or some unfortunate soul who became a total jerk as of recently. I am starting this series off by talking about the user by the name of princeofmints.

princeofmints is apart of the Eddsworld community and they are apart of the official EW Amino, Tumblr, and Instagram. Unfortunately princeofmints is in some hot water right now.

Oh and before I get to that, I just want to make this clear, the princeofmints that I am referring to isn't the one who made tomtord p*rn. This princeofmints is actually accused of tracing and being a total d*ck.

Also they got banned from Amino, but they are still going strong on both Tumblr and Instagram.

One more thing: don't harass them. Instead I want you to stop supporting them. Don't not praise them.

With that out the way, let's get into the news.

I unfortunately didn't know any of this drama that happened till seeing callout posts about it. But I used to like princeofmints's posts until what happened recently.

I decided to to take a look at their wall after seeing a few callout posts on them before they got taken down.

Annnnnd yeah.....they are such an arsehole. Just...just look at these screenshots....

(the third one is my favorite in terms of arsehole energy that's being radiated from it)

I'll be honest with you, the third is the one that show the bitterness of princeofmints. Trying to guilt trip you. I'm sorry to say this, but it's not working. Nice try.

Now I'll handing the rest of this over to the one and only Squirp/TatSquirp who've agreed to be on the show and I certainly didn't kidnap them.

Squirp: ...Why am I here? Why am I tied u-

Lbat1901(me): Shhhh! Just give the audience your side on this

Squirp: Ok, fine...*clears throat*....so a week ago, I've made a callout post exposing princeofmints titled "Dethroning a Prince". It took me awhile to everything and not too soon after posting it on Animo, I've also posted it on Instagram.

Oh boy...it got taken down. No actually I got told by a model on Animo to take it down which I did while on Instagram it got flagged for harassment. I eventually reposted it.

princeofmints (or what I like to call her, Prince) is a 15 year old artist who mostly draws Tom, Tord, and the ship TomTord. She was on the EW Amino since January 13th of this year before getting banned. S

Alright with that out of the way, I'll try to make this brief

She also has been known to cause quite the trouble.

I have been caught up to speed on what Prince has done even learning th as t she had actually scammed someone.

I believe that Lbat told you this already, but Prince's name was stolen by someone who has the same name, but let's dwell on this.

Part 1 - Tracing:

Squirp: Ok so, a few days ago some of my friends and I looked at one of Prince's art and discovered that it was traced from an already existing drawing made by P-Nim. Of course Prince denied this and claimed that it was her own art.

Ok I'll make this clear, Prince didn't draw it for a DTIYS. If Prince didn't trace it then she shouldn't be claiming it as her own.

Also if you want to compare posts or have a look for yourself, you can't cause she deleted it. So much for being reasonable which goes into this next part....

Part 2 - Blocking those who've cornered you for being unreasonable:

Squirp: Oh yes, just like TBATF, Prince also blocks people for calling her out. Unlike TBATF who only block people for giving them criticism and calling them out on their behavior, Prince blocks people for many reasons.

One of them being totally unreasonable. She blocked one of my friends who called her out for tracing. Prince even deleted several comments when trying to defend herself for being called out before deciding to hit the block button.

She even blocked me after I tried to call her out on her wall. I did PM her a few days later about and guess what her response was. The reason why she blocked me was because she didn't like me.

My god....that has to be most stupidest as all hell reason to block someone and folks, we're on the second part on this and things are already getting heated.

Part 3 - Being a b*ch isn't all that cool:

Squirp: Hold on a minute, why is b*ch censored?

(Editor: that's because it's Lbat's show and I am meant to help with anything that Lbat puts out for everyone to see)

Squirp: Yeah, but why? Who cares anyway?

(Editor: well you're probably have a point, but it's my job. Now are you going to continue to argue or are you going to keep going with your side of the story?)

Squirp: I am...geez! I've never meant an editor that's who picky. This isn't YouTube with the whole COPPA thing you know.

Anyway..... pt 3....Prince has to be one of the biggest d*cks that I have ever talked to and- oh my god, why would you censor the word- forget it. Forget it...

Erm...yeah....she cursed at some many people that it's just mindboggling. She's not the most pleasant person to talk to on Amino or anywhere else.

Before you say that she probably has some mental health issues, don't even bother. Well I know she does has some issues, but it doesn't give her the excuse to not be a total d*ck. People who do have issues are at least well spoken and are respectful to others.

But Prince on the other hand, not a freaking single chance.

Part 4 - Stop acting sad:

Squirp: You're probably thinking to yourself, "Wow, Prince is a jerk" and you'd be right. But to make matters worse, she likes to guilt trip people.

How? Well she tries to make you feel sorry for her by giving you a sad sad tale before deciding to cuss you out.

That's right, it's pretty low for her. I don't need to explain why this is bad just because it is. It's really scummy especially when she's in the wrong here. Next!

Part 5 - Don't let Prince do commissions. EVER:

Oh yeah, she actually did this. I did found the person who got scammed and they are a person known as BadBoy.

You see BadBoy commissioned Prince to do a drawing for 92 coins. Unfortunately for BadBoy, Prince said that the price was actually lower than that. But it gets much much worse than that.

Prince got wicked with them and refused to give other pieces of art to BadBoy. Eventually BadBoy had enough and asked for a refund. That's when things started to escalate really fast.

Prince told BadBoy to piss off. After a long battle, Prince gave BadBoy 72 coins back when BadBoy asked for a full refund.

Squirp: I have been saving this part for last and it gave me a reason to make a callout on Prince in the first place. She literally scammed someone over 72 coins.

In summary, Prince just stole BadBoy's money and was a total d*ck towards them.

And that should do it for now, but I one final message to Prince. If you're reading this now while getting harassed for being callout for your crap: none of this, and I stress this a lot, none of this wouldn't have happened if you were to just act a tad bit kinder and a whole bit wiser.

Oh and maybe if you would've just listened. Also running away from your problems, lying, and pretending that they didn't happen makes you look like the bad guy here.

You know, I wouldn't mind you being on Animo at all if you just shallow your pride and try to do better by apologizing to everyone.

I didn't mean to make my callout post to hurt you in a way. In fact, I still believe that you can change. But atlas, your problems need to be addressed to make that happen.

All you need to do is try. That's it. That's all I ask for.

Lbat1901(me): *claps* Nicely done, Squirp. Nicely done.

Squirp: Thanks Lbat. It's been a pleasure being on here. Now can I go home now?

Lbat1901(me): Uhh.....*walks away from Squirp and walks out of the room before shutting the door*

Squirp: Lbat? Uh Lbat? Lbat? This isn't funny! Untie me! Hey cameraman, you're still here. Untie me, please

Camraman: *shrugs before shaking their head*

Squirp: What do you mean no? Ugh!

{screen cuts to Lbat sitting in a chair}

Lbat1901(me): Well that's the end of the first episode of Rantception. I want to thank TatSquirp for coming on and helping me out. Please check them out on the EW Amino and possibly their Instagram as well while you're at it.

[lovelucigoosey]

We Need to Talk

(requested by @zeto1304 )

(Not sure if I’m gonna continue this yet, until I finish I’m Not Good At All, but I hope you enjoy this!!!)

The phone felt heavy in his hand as Steven hung up.

He swallowed and leaned back a little, shifting to pocket the phone again. His heart was pounding - not fast, but hard enough to make his chest ache; he heaved out a sigh, which quickly turned into a groan, closing his eyes for a second. That had been a disaster; he should have known going to Homeworld would end like that. He should have known something bad was going to happen. And it had! He had… he had almost… he had almost shattered White. He had tried to! It had taken slamming his own head into a pillar - god, it still hurt - for him to even actually realize what he'd just done, but even then, even then, it hadn't completely erased the thoughts. It hadn't made him want to do it any less. Hell, for a split second, while he'd been sitting there, holding his head, it had almost made him want to kill her even more.

He shuddered, staring down at his feet for a moment. His shoe was missing. He needed that- no, wait, what was he thinking now? He couldn't go back to Homeworld for a stupid sandal. Then he'd have to see White again after almost shattering her and- god, no, no, they could keep the sandal. Needed something to remember him by, seeing as he wasn't ever going back there.

Keep it together, Steven, he reprimanded himself, twisting his foot slightly and lifting it from the floor for a second, only to lower it back down again. Did you think of shattering White? Yes. Yes you did. Buuuut you didn't! You didn't actually shatter her so that isssssss good. I mean- yeah Jasper, you still shattered, but that's… you can work with that! One is better than two, right? Right? Right! This is fi- No- wait, what? What?! What am I thinking? This isn't fine!

He put his head in his hands and screwed his eyes shut, trying to force his thoughts into a relatively calm state, but it was far too late now. They had already trailed, wandered, gone so far that he was running double time to catch up and still somehow missing them by several thousand miles at the same time. No, no, no, no, no… this isn't… I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to shatter Jasper…! I didn't mean to think that-! I didn't really want to shatter White- right? Yeah, she did some really, really messed up things and… and… and maybe I'm… mad…?

His head throbbed, and he gripped it harder, screwing his eyes shut and letting out another soft, breathless groan into his hands. The familiar sound of the television turning on didn't register until he suddenly heard White's voice - which was enough to make his head shoot up - and wide eyes fell onto the screen. He nearly stopped breathing, mostly on purpose, every muscle in his body spasming and going completely tense as he scrambled backwards onto his bed and pushed himself as far away from the TV as he possibly could, chest tightening with… panic.

"Time to come out, Pink…"

Steven couldn't keep himself from gasping in time. It was the only gulp of air he was going to get in a while, because he immediately went back to holding his breath the second the sound left his lips, slapping his hand over his mouth and fighting back a gag. He wanted to move, he wanted to turn the TV off, he wanted to look away - but he couldn't do anything.

Just like then.

Just like when she had held him in one hand with her nail digging into his skin as she held his shirt up to reveal his gem. Just like when her other hand had come down toward him, agonizingly slowly but far too fast at the same time. Just like when he had tried to scream, to plead with her to stop so that he could talk to her. Just like when he had looked into her eyes and realized at the last second - the very last second - that he was completely, utterly, one-hundred percent helpless. The gems were being mind-controlled, Connie was being held back by Pearl and he was trapped in White Diamond's cage-like claws as she- as she-

He had felt so weak. So useless. So completely out of control. For the first time in his life, he had finally been terrified about something that was happening to him - because for the first time in his life, it was something he genuinely couldn't stop. He couldn't talk her out of hurting him. He couldn't lay on the old 'Universe charm' and flash her a soft smile and puppy dog eyes and have her fall right for it. He couldn't befriend her so that she wouldn't hurt him or his family, and his planet, and his friends and everything he'd ever known. He wasn't 'Steven' to her. Right then he'd been nothing - nothing to her than his mother. He'd had gems look at him like he was Rose. He'd had the Diamonds look at him like he was Pink. But there was something about her.

Something in her smile.

Something in her eyes.

And for the first time, Steven had been afraid. He had been helpless. He had realized how totally out of control he was and how this gem could crush him in the palm of her hand- and he couldn't do anything about it, because he couldn't talk her out of hurting him. He couldn't get enough words in to open her eyes up, to make her realize what she was doing was wrong. He hadn't had the time. He hadn't had the chance. By the time he managed to, it was too late.

He could still remember sitting alone that night, curled up and sobbing, remembering how much it had hurt. Now, his hand twitched down to his stomach somewhat out of instinct, right when the White Diamond on the screen pinched two fingers around his gemstone and pulled it out. The television cut to static after that, and he actually did gag this time, recalling that that was pretty much how it had actually happened. After that, once the white-hot pain had subsided, everything had suddenly just kind of stopped. Everything had gone dark. It hadn't even stopped hurting, even when the darkness consumed him; no, it had kept hurting. Up to the second he woke up in Connie's arms, it still hurt. Everything had hurt. His stomach. His body. His head.

He had been terrified.

Terrified that he wasn't going to be able to fix it this time. He wasn't gonna be able to befriend this gem. She had hurt him. In a way that nobody had ever hurt him before.

It was, undeniably, the worst thing he had ever experienced… and he had just shoved it down. One snide comment - "I am a child. What's your excuse?" - was the only thing he was able to snap at her. The only thing to release barely a fraction of the anger and hurt that had welled up in his chest. He had wanted to scream and cry - and he had, he had done that a lot later on - but right then, he could only watch as his biggest enemy fell apart on him just like everyone else. And then he had to pick up the pieces and put her back together, brand new again.

And then he had to live with her for two years. He had to see her face. He had to see her smile. He had to look into her eyes. He had to deal with it when she wanted to pick him up. He had to remind himself that things were different now and she wasn't going to do that again. He had to wake up alone after every nightmare, calm himself down from a panic attack after every interaction with her, force himself to keep a straight face and a grin when he was near her instead of lashing out like he wanted to, screaming and crying like he wanted to, instead of showing an ounce of the fear he felt - for even more fear that she would turn against him again.

And she would hurt them. And she would hurt him. And then it would be his fault. Because he couldn't look her in the eyes for the sake of the galaxy after she had ripped his gem out.

With tears steadily brewing in his eyes, Steven couldn't help but wonder, now, why. Why. After everything she had put him through. After everything she had put them through. Why did he have to be the one to put up with her? Why did he have to be the one stuck with her? Why did he have to be the one to help her after she had hurt him like that? After she had managed to do the one thing none of the other gems had ever managed to do - and genuinely scare him?

Even Jasper hadn't scared him like that… and, at first? Yeah. She had scared him.

Malachite had scared him.

But Jasper didn't scare him anymore. It had been a long time since he felt that kind of fear toward her; but he still felt it toward White, despite his best efforts to ignore it. And it wasn't just when he was around her, either. Sometimes it was just the thought of her, the mention of her. Anything about her was enough to make him tense, make him want to shudder and curl up. He never wanted to feel so out of control again. He never wanted to feel so helpless again.

And maybe that was why it was easy to lose himself in the fight with Jasper. Maybe that's why it was easy to think, for just a second, that he wanted to inflict as much pain on her as he could. Because, for once, he was the one in control. He was the one dishing out the blows. He was the one, finally, unafraid, with a steady grip on his powers, one he wished he could say he'd had on his emotions, too. It had been too late when he realized what he'd done; when he realized he'd let all of that anger and pain overpower him, getting high on his powers, on the control he held. And that was what had happened back on Homeworld; realizing White couldn't hurt him. Because he was controlling her.

Just like she had controlled him that day. Just like she had controlled the gems that day.

A new scene unfolded on the screen.

"She's the one who should be afraid…"

Again, more insistently, as he stared at the screen, he wondered why. He had been - what? Fourteen? When it had happened. Fourteen when he made the decision that his own fear, his own discomfort, his own pain, mattered less than everyone else. Who cared if White scared the living crap out of him? Who cared that he still dreamed about what had happened that day? Who cared that he still wanted to cower before her when they were face to face, wanted to curl up and beg her not to hurt him. Like he had. Like he had when he had been controlling her. When he finally let a little bit of that fear slip, finally reverted back into that fourteen year old that had writhed and struggled against her hold, too scared to open his mouth and beg her to stop.

He still remembered - everything he wanted to say - every single pleading word on the tip of his tongue he couldn't spit out. Stop! Stop it! I don't like this! Let me go! Please- you're scaring me!

The scene changed again, and Steven finally decided he'd had enough when he heard those same words being screamed right back at him. A different scenario; a different victim. But still so similar that it made his chest ache. He scrambled off of the bed, hitting his knees on the floor and fumbling for the button to turn the TV off - and breathing out a sigh of relief when he did.

The relief didn't last long.

He recoiled the second he saw his reflection; the second he saw the diamond eyes staring back at him. And that… that was it. That was the second he completely unraveled. At first, he could only gasp, every part of him trembling. His hand rose toward the black screen, toward his reflection, only to pull back again. He couldn't breathe; he was trying his best now, no longer holding his breath and trying to gulp in as much air as he could, but every attempt was shaky, stifled, feeling like his entire body was simply about to shut down and collapse right there.

And then he screamed.

The screen cracked as he pushed himself back, hitting the foot of his bed, and promptly dissolved into hysterics. He felt fourteen again, crying and screaming out for his dad in the spaceship on his way to the human zoo. Sitting alone in his bed night after night after the nightmares that haunted him, sobbing and trying in vain to calm himself down. He hadn't cried like this in three years; he hadn't felt like this in three years. This helpless and hurt.

"No, no, nononono-" He covered his face, struggling to speak through his tears, but that was the only thing he could get out before he just couldn't speak anymore, only able to spit out stuttered, short attempts through his sobs as he only grew more hysterical, more frantic, more desperate.

"This isn't-" His ribs hurt, body spasming and jerking with the force of his sobs as he pressed his hands harder against his face in an attempt to just make himself shut up. "This c- I can't- I don't- I- I- why is this- HA- HAP- PENING TO ME-?!" The entire room shook this time as he screamed, not out of anger, but complete, raw pain, and terror. He continued to sob, doubling over and gripping the sides of his head now instead, fingers burrowing deep into his hair. He pulled, tugging as hard as he could - and even managing to tug several strands loose in the process. "I don't wanna be a Diamond! I don't wanna be a Diamond! I DON'T WANNA BE A DIAMOND!"

He felt like he was falling.

He tugged at his hair again, more desperately now as he cried, shaking his head and trying to rid himself of some of the tears streaking down his face. He felt like he was about to drown in them at this point; a few even went up his nose when he tried to breathe in, but it only brought on another series of choked, body-wracking sobs, loud and filled with pure, unadulterated pain. "I ju- just w- wanna b- wanna- wanna be- be me I just wanna be me I just wanna he- help-"

A few more tears fought their way to freedom, coursing down his cheeks, and he cried a little bit harder. He couldn't stop himself. It was just another thing he had lost complete control over now. "I- I just wanna help," he whimpered, "J- Just wanna help pe- people I do- don- don't w- don't wanna h- hurt th- I- I- I- can't-" He gasped, struggling for air, and covered his face again.

He couldn't say with complete certainty how long he stayed like that, sobbing and gasping. He eventually gave up on speaking through his tears, just letting himself cry in a way he hadn't in a long, long time now. He felt like he was breaking inside, something squeezing his lungs and shattering each one of his bones and internal organs into pieces and there wasn't anything he could do about it, nothing, nothing but sit there and cry and feel as helpless as he did when he was fourteen years old, when he was nothing but a child with the weight of two worlds on his shoulders.

"It hurts…" He whispered shakily as his sobs finally quieted, just a little. Subsiding slowly into sniffles, too tired, too sore for his body to keep working itself the way it had been. "It h- hurts… I'm scared-" He choked out another sob, hiccuping almost immediately after, as if his body was trying to breathe on its own now. It didn't quite work - if anything, it made him hurt even worse. "I want my dad…" He shook his head, his face pressed into his hands. "I w- want my gems…"

They had hurt him, too.

Deep down, he knew that. He knew how much they had put on him - how much they had led him to put on himself. But right then, at that moment, he just didn't want to be alone.

He was still trying to calm himself down, still struggling with himself, still trying to breathe, when he heard the stairs creak. He jumped a little, still in panic-mode, head snapping up at once as he blinked rapidly to try and see through the blur of tears in his eyes. It wasn't much, but - a familiar blob of purple was all he needed to see. That was all it took for his eyes to scrunch up again, for his mouth to twist, for his body to tremble and shudder in protest before he started crying again. This time, it wasn't outright sobbing; it was quieter, but just as messy.

Just as painful.

He heard Amethyst gasp, footsteps rushing over to him, but he couldn't force himself to calm down enough to look up at her again. He only buried his face into his hands again, hiccuping and gasping as he tried to force himself to breathe. "Steven, what- what happened?!"

"Steven?!" Pearl practically shrieked, her voice a little further away - but when she spoke again, accompanied by the sound of more footsteps, she was much closer than Steven had expected. And it was enough to make him flinch and recoil, looking up just in time to see Amethyst pulling her hand back in shock, while Pearl reached out for him without hesitation, either having not seen his reaction or simply not minding it. Regardless, he didn't even fight her, as she only managed to utter, "are you okay-?!" Before she finally seemed to register him completely.

He didn't know what it was. The tears. The pinkness. The hair. The diamond eyes. But she gasped, sucking in a breath that didn't come back out for a long, long time.

Rubbing his eyes, he opened his mouth to speak, but the only thing he could muster now was desperate, completely unintelligible stuttering. He didn't have the strength to put any words together now, much less to form an even slightly coherent sentence. They were here; they were right there in front of him, asking him what happened and if he was okay and, oh, god, he wasn't. He wasn't okay. And he wanted nothing more than to finally let go of all his doubts and fears and just let everything pour out, but he still couldn't form the words to do so.

"Steven…?" Amethyst's voice was softer, a little more panicked.

He choked out another sob and covered his face with one hand, letting the other one drop. Rather than hitting the ground, as he expected it to, it landed in another hand instead; he recognized Pearl's touch with ease, as both of her hands curled around his, and it only made him shake even harder with the sobs he couldn't muster any more than he could speak.

But he squeezed her hand, half to reassure her and half to beg her not to leave him, not to go anywhere until he could finally pull himself together enough to say something. And she squeezed back, a reassurance of her own, and Steven finally let his shoulders droop.

After that, it was a little easier to calm himself down. He rubbed the tears away as they fell, breathing in slowly and steadily - in through his nose, out through his mouth, just like Garnet had taught him - as the gems only watched. He could feel their gazes, confused and concerned, and as much as he wanted to open his mouth to speak, to explain, to talk - he didn't know what would come out when he did, and if it would be words, or if it would just be more sobbing. So he just kept his mouth shut and forced himself to breathe, until, finally, he managed to calm down just enough to get a few good, long deep breaths in, going limp with relief once he had.

"Steven," Garnet spoke softly, and he flicked his gaze up to her, still blinking past the remaining tears. Her hand raised to her visor, poofing it away with the simplest touch; three eyes stared back at him, one red, one blue, and one purple, each one filled with nothing but concern. "We're worried." And he wondered who the 'we' was in this situation - her, Amethyst and Pearl, or Ruby and Sapphire. Regardless, he managed to breathe in again, rubbing his eyes a little harder.

It took several minutes for him to spit out the words, but he'd never felt more relieved than when he finally managed to, breath hitching and stuttering every so often, but managing to speak his request clearly and loudly enough for them all to hear. Because they all needed to hear this.

"We- We need- t- to talk…"