#I'm an explorer who likes having things to do in the BG <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[thundertide]

Just a small heads up - Now that Natlan is out, I will not be writing anything in a Natlan setting until the Archon Quest's story is complete! This is a personal choice; I'd prefer to have the full story and time to explore the nation at a slower pace before I dive into anything related to it on my own. This doesn't mean I won't write with Natlan muses - I just won't write in a Natlan setting, is all~!

Happy Natlan Exploring, everyone~!

~Pom

[oldsweetchildomeow]

Reviewing GG character design part #1 GG 1998 Axl

I chose him first because he's the best char obviously.

Hear me out. Character design is not meant to be appealing to all viewers, they are meant to tell you about the character. If it end up being appealing to you, it's for a personal reason. FGs will, obviously, try to be as appealing as possible with their character menu for you to choose the most appetizing because they need money from your horniness and devotion. But despite all that capitalism mindset, the idea is always to explore the origin, personality, preferences and such, from the respective character.

I will try to separate it into some sections that are relevant, such as: 1. What does it tell about their personality (in Axl's case, British) 2. Is it visually appealing to some extend? (a bit more personal from an artistic pov) 3. Is it actually PRACTICAL realistically speaking? (a bit more logical from a "would anyone actually use this to fight?) and etc.

I was actually considering putting every GG game in this post, but it would take way too long and be boring to read, I think.

GG 1998

This design is quite interesting and pleasant. I see that many of us, Axlettes (this sound literally like a pokemon name, but I will stick to that for serious reasons) seem to like this one.

What does it tell you about Axl?

He's British.

just kidding. Actually... not entirely. He has that damned flag on his boots' tip, and it's a detail that really does tell you where he is from, specially in a game where you won't hear him s'peakin like di's mate. I'm not including his stage bg of course, but exclusively what you can tell by simply looking at him. He wears some grunge/punk-like bracelets, which makes him look like... well, a punk. The bandana he wears, his choice of weapon, his torn sleeves, and even the fact that his eyebrows aren't visible, gives you the impression of someone dangerous, someone you would easily see on a gang. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone who just started this game, and had just seen him, would fear him somehow. To some extend, he gives me the same energy as Billy Kane from the Fatal Fury/KOF series (they are both British and zoners and do the cat emoji smirk).

Is it visually appealing overall?

Short answer: Yes, it is. He wears a short jacket that has the same color as his shorts. That's very, very pleasant to watch, due to the harmony it presents. It gets even better when both pieces are torn at the ends. And to continue this harmonic idea, his boots are the same color as his gloves, and the details on his boots are red like his bandana. It's a never ending cycle of good usage of colors. The only considerably random color choice is that the bracelets have blueish spikes on in-game sprites, but it matches both the blue are of the flag on his boot, and the jeans colored clothing he wears. Although...

Here you can see that on the art they are white, like they were supposed to. It's normal to change when in-game due to pixel reasons, but either way. Now, with that picture from just above in mind, I wanted to say that it's very nice detail from his belt having a skull (he's sooo fire dude wow), which compliments the grunge concept of his one-arm spiky bracelet. His sickle matches the spikes very nicely too, but the best part of all that is the gap between his short jacket and his shorts. They just compliment in a very satisfactory parameter, not making it entirely blueish, but just enough for it to match nicely (it's kind of hard to explain it, but when I keep repeating this over and over on the next reviews it will make more sense).

But what I'm trying to say is this.

Just see how nicely the colors were placed on his design. It just follows a very perfect cycle. I KNOW my friends tend to think i'm out of my fucking mind because of how perfectionist I'm about those little things but it's so amazing really.

Is it actually PRACTICAL to fight with that figurine?

Mostly, yes. I do think so. Despite the fact that high boots really do bother you when you do complex movements with them, I wear them a lot and even when walking sometimes it bothers me, I can't even imagine fighting. But it's just a minor detail, they aren't even high enough to actually be some nuisance. His short clothes make it easier to move, despite being jeans. But it's a nice choice, you can actually fight with that in general and still look cool.

THIS is not practical at all. At some point everyone will see your boobs and it's not nice. But if he wants to be a whore...

Overall

Masterpiece, beautiful and functional. It's something someone like him would wear really, specially from his epoch and all. And I want to kiss Ishiwatari's mouth

[spotsupstuff]

whats your opinion on the games scugs?

(monk, arti, enot, etc.)

which ones are your favorite lore wise / gameplay wise?

i don't have much of opinions! as one could... probably tell from my excessive iterator posting and extreme lack of scug posting

lore wise i will forever stick with my ultimate fav scug, Hunter. being a pre-Downpour fan has conditioned me into thinkin of the vanilla scugs the most and i'm most attached to them as well. Hunter is my fav of the three because of how unique they are compared to the other two, the amount of special lore and explanations their campaign offers to us. also i fucking love NSH endlessly so those two are a combo to open up my heart. they are actually the reason why i ended up hyperfixating on RW the first time around!

Survivor at the end of the day is the most basic scug, no matter what people say that's just a factual truth with her bein the first lil bugger peeps usually try out, but i've had a lot of fun playing with her characterization and my absolutely favorite thing to do is pair her up with Pebbles. Survivor is Five Pebbles' Cat to me. from the olden days

still up to present

even with Arti around now these two get to me emotionally more still. my old ass is cursed </3

i don't have much to say about Monk except the fact that i'm still quietly laughing about how on THEIR campaign i got more pissed than anywhere fuckin else except Gourmand i think. like this peaceful little sunshine parading around in the world and then there's me behind the screen cursing up a fuckin Storm truly embracing my inner Bitch... i had fun with that..... either way, the fact that he can see traces of Survivor in the shelters is So Fucking and the possible parallels between vanilla scug sibs n Pebs n Moons are eating my brain alive whenever i dedicate a braincell to the slugcats

the Downpour scugs are more in the bg to me and also offer a sort of like... not exactly completely 100% continuation of the game, but one of the possible canonical paths the story could've taken n i ain't gon lie i often forget or ignore some Downpour facts because of my ass bein so stuck with the vanilla game

either way, Arti's maul ability is the best thing invented for this game, Gour is Neat and i really gotta go and explore OE better with Surv cuz that place is Very interesting from the lore stand point (also that map Pebs flashes when openin the gate is SUPER cool). Spearmaster is prolly my favorite of all the scugs cuz of their mechanics n the whole uncollapsed LTTM structure is a delicious world-building, along with the first hint towards the climate, the shit with Seven Red Son-of-a-bitches and the broadcasts at large. i'm affectionate for Spear. that lil fella can climb up with the vanilla scugs i shall allow it. Riv was... the most notable things to me about them was The Rot/Pebbles condition/his last words and then their crack cocaine eyes. love headcanoning UI made 'em like that with actual crackies. the ending with Moon didn't... really hit me for some reason- but still, i'd rank the coolness of their lore on the third place because of The Rot kush

now Saint... Saint is a though nut to crack to me because of Two ✌ reasons. 1. i still haven't fucking finished playing this asshole. 2. there is a lot of room for interpretations. which is a GOOD thing, i Like when that happens, but it makes talking about the lore of the rat harder. ultimately without any brainstorming, Saint's lore is a confusing outta-nowhere mess that is so extremely far from the original ideas and themes of the vanilla game that my head spins. at first i legit thought that the lore of the thing would break what vanilla has already laid out, but thankfully i'm a person who likes to shrug so i shrugged and let it be n started figuring out my own interpretation of it all which has been a lot of fun. what i have going on for Saint in my stuff i adore all SO so so much n ofc shout out to shkiki's interpretation for being one of the coolest i've seen too

n Sain't mechanics have. made me stupidly daring with death jumps i don't know what's happening but that tongue has made me basically jump off a ledge without any preparation before that Sky Islands/Chimney karma gate n i didn't even flinch about it cuz the.. tongue... i don't fucking know what happened to me there but it was bizarre n i like bizarre in this game so i'm givin that shit 4 pats out of 5 you-tried stars. i also got fucking BULLIED BY A SCAVENGER IN FRONT OF A SHELTER FOR TEN MINUTES THATS GETTING A 5 MINUTE FROWN OUT OF GODDAMMIT THIS GAME

[basicsauarchive]

Aight finally have time to update this account ughhh.

So I'll have a few set of aus you can ask and some you can't cause there's no story lol.

Keep in mind, some may make absolutely no sense lol so don't expect accuracy in these things lol.

Aight, so starting off with aus you CAN'T ASK.

1. Genderbent unikitty

Simply cause this au HAD an ask blog before and I had no idea how to continue it lol. Cause it's basically just the plot of unikitty but they're different genders lol. Only difference in this au is the characters personalities and motives may be different but plot wise and ending wise it's all the same.

2. The bad trio (I hate that name so much)

Reason is cause like genderbent unikitty, this au doesn't really have a lore that's interesting enough for me to expand on. The bad guys team up and fail all the time so I think it's best if I just stick to drawing than making asks stuff with them. Until I come up with something interesting that is.

Okay that's all for aus you can't ask.

Now here are aus you CAN ASK.

1. Alterkitty : [AK] <- code for asking the aus.

Kay' this au isn't that hard to explain, an au where unikittys characters are switched with each other.

Unikitty -> Puppycorn

Dr fox -> richard

Hawkodile -> Eagleator

Master frown -> brock

Score creeper -> flamurtle (yes they are there too)

Basically you can ask whatever. I'll of course change some things in the plot so it isn't just unikitty 2.0 lol.

2. Cake brock : [CB]

Random au I know but hear me out. This au will mostly focus on master frown cause I wanna toy with his anger and frustrations cause like. Cake Brock is a lil goofier than the original one.

(get it? Cause cakes don't really have brains and they're silly. Plus he probably already ate that part of his brain)

I changed the backstory on how he became cake and basically everything in general so yeah lol.

3. My frock fankid au [FK]

Now this au I'm a bit excited for. Mostly cause I don't wanna focus on the kid I wanna focus on Brock and master frown's relationship. I think you notice a theme with my aus. So basically they're relationship, would it be on the rocks when a child is introduced? What if the kid's an exact copy of master frown. Would they be able to tolerate a teenage douchbag? Who knowsss. Also familial drama drives me.

4. Broken gay [BG]

Au where master frown (in his master big frown era) witnessed his boss kill Brock. Oh and he killed unikitty and the gang. OKAY BASICALLY, Mf kills unikitty and the gang and that ticks Brock off and they have a huge fight that master doom comes in and was like, "kill him" and frown's like, "uhhhh" and then she grabs both of his hands and makes him kill Brock haha I love making myself sad. So he's a mentally unstable wreck the entire time. Forgive me I'm exploring angst here AND I SUCK AT IT.

5. Au where frown is a prince(ss?) and Brock is a low-key downer : [PF]

Technically this isn't really NY au but I was inspired. Plus I brain stormed quite a lot to make this au not so bland. See the thing is their personalities aren't all different, just a bit more amped up for the positions they've been put in. And yes, they're friends ( ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠) the au. I don't wanna give away too much so do what you will with this.

Okay, that's all. I'm gonna have fun with this lol and I hope you guys do too lol.

[knickynoo]

Fic Author Self-Rec

Share five of your personal favorite works, then tag five authors to do the same. Thanks to @bg-sparrow for the tag!

Harborage

Harborage: shelter; refuge Marty spends the weekend with the Browns, who have settled permanently in early 1986. While there, he's forced to deal with the impact of his travels through time.

I have a feeling that no matter how many fics I write, this one will always be the most special to me. It started out with one scene I had stuck in my head (which was written out long before I worked out the actual plot and specifics) and turned into a ten-chapter story that garnered more attention and kind comments than I ever could have imagined. I loved crafting this little post-trilogy world and exploring the time-travel baggage Marty is left with after his adventures. I had a particularly fun time working Clara, Jules, and Verne into it.

2. Despite the Distance

On October 2nd, 1982, Doc entered his garage to find a trespasser who ended up becoming his best friend. But when a mishap with a new invention lands him in an altered 1986 where that meeting never occurred, he's faced not only with figuring out how to set the timeline right but also with the reality of the influence his friendship had on Marty.

A nearly 60,000 word, 17-chapter fic that spawned from this ask I'd gotten about how a BTTF version of "It's a Wonderful Life" would go. I didn't even have anything of value to say to that ask, but it caused the concept to stick in my head, where I continued to roll it around for several weeks. And while it ended up branching away from the initial "It's a Wonderful Life" concept, it did end up being a story where Doc gets to see what Marty's life is like without him.

Creating this altered, "tougher" version of Marty was my favorite part of the whole process, and getting to see him form a tentative friendship with Doc in such different circumstances was such a fun thing to tackle. I still have no idea who sent me that ask, but if you see this post: thank you. This story was challenging and emotional and a blast to write, and I'm so pleased at the way it's connected with people.

3. So, Your Brother's Befriended a Mad Scientist

Working as assistant for the town's most mysterious inventor isn't exactly a job Dave would've expected Marty to get, but it sure is an interesting one.

My most recent fic! Have you ever wanted to see a fic about Doc and Marty's friendship written entirely from Dave McFly's point of view? No? Well, I wrote it anyway. And I loved every second of it. Dave is a wonderful big brother, and I'm already looking forward to utilizing him more in the future.

4. In Case of Emergency

Who else is a kid supposed to call for a late-night rescue?

Perhaps my laziest summary, but one of my favorite one-shots. A little slice of life in which Marty decides to go to a party, immediately decides "this is bogus," and calls Doc to come pick him up. A lovely little look at their dynamic and the trust Marty places in his best friend. Also featuring: Doc having an entire conversation with his dog.

5. The Real You

Alex gets ready for a date with Ellen and, in typical fashion, is a nervous wreck. Good thing Mallory is there to provide some words of wisdom.

I really struggled with what to put in this final spot, but I'm going with my one and only (for now) Family Ties fic. Writing Alex is intimidating, but I enjoyed putting this together and being able to include some nice sibling relationship moments between him and Mallory. I've got a bunch of notes on additional FT one-shots that I want to write at some point. I'm so used to writing Doc and Marty at this point, and it's nice to have all these other characters to write about and Put In Situations.

I'm going to leave this open to anyone who wants to take the opportunity to talk about some of their favorite fics they've written :)

[alphabetboyluvr]

Hey Holly!

How’ve you been? How was the trip? Saw some beautiful pictures on your ig story and got super excited for u!! <3

This is gonna be a long one but here goes!

I’m here because I wanted to tell u how much I love each and every one of the characters you’ve written. I’ve read most of your works and each one has its own beauty and aura(?) that is so uniquely its own. Bd!jk and B and so different from CV!jk and Annie who are so different to YU?!jk and Neva that it messes with my head sometimes. How you’ve managed to give jk such a distinct yet familiar personality is truly astounding.

I’m so happy seeing all the love you receive for BD (which is so soooo very well deserved btw) but i think we don’t talk enough about CV. I mean the plot. The characters. The attention to detail. The insane storytelling. Heck, even the chapter names leave me in such awe. I’m truly truly grateful to have found your work when I did and I know it’s silly to say that I’m a changed person for it. The kindness u show us and the love u have for the tannies is so heartwarming. Holly, I hope the people around u know how lucky they are to be in your presence. Your work is not just some silly little stories, it’s a piece of you that you’ve chosen to share with the world and it is such a privlidge. I don’t think I’ll ever stop talking about it.

The amount of times I’ve cried tears (good and bad ones) from all the emotions surprises me too. I constantly think about your writing and even though this past year I’ve given a piece of my heart to bd I think a bigger chunk will always go to color Vision. This is in no way a comparison of your work, it’s just something I’ve come to realize recently that cv just has a very special place in my heart. However, in my mind I’m practically married to bd jk and he’s MINE (sorry B :3)

Sorry for the rambling but I hope u know that u have a forever fan <3

-BG

helloooooo!!

my trip was really lovely thank you - it was a bucket list location for me, and I got to experience it with one of my best friends in the whole entire world so yeah, super special <33

before i get into it, i just wanna say thank u for sharing your thoughts with me - I know it takes a fair amount of time to send an ask like this and so I really appreciate it!!

i always like to think of my jk characters as multiverse versions of each other. there are similarities that run through (after all, they're all based on the same muse!!), but they all have different lives that shape them into the character they are.

ahhh cv <3 im currently in the process of doing some edits to it and honestly I wish I had more time to devote crafting it into an even better story. i love the world the world of cv - I'm constantly thinking about the spin off stories I could write (like hobis, gawwd I wanna explore his experience of colour!!)

I know it’s silly to say that I’m a changed person for it.

i'm always in such a state of disbelief whenever I read things like this. to know I've had an impact - and a positive one at that - is just wild to me, and you'll never know how appreciative I am.

writing these stories has really been helpful for me, and sometimes can be a way that I process my own issues. I'm a changed person for them, too.

thank you thank you thank you for this overwhelmingly gorgeous display of kindness.

im so lucky <3

[ahiddenpath]

Do you have any advice for a-spec writers who struggle with writing allo characters or just allo things like attraction, romance, and sex?

OH MAN what a great Pride Month ask?!?!?! Thank you for trusting me with this. (For anyone who might not have the bg info, I'm a-spec myself, and I do write romance and sex).

There must be so many wonderful ways to answer this q, but I'll take my shot beneath the cut!

1.) Intimacy and sensuality

I think my biggest tip is to try to reframe how you think about romance and sex as intimacy and sensuality. Maybe an a-spec person doesn't relate to how it feels to be magnetically pulled towards someone, to feel their pulse beat faster when you see them, to want to, ah, engage in consensual adult activities with them. But maybe they do know what it feels like to worry about someone, to want to help them and see them smile, to want to experience the "feel good" hormones that are released from a hug. These things are also present in platonic relationships, but they're a huge part of romantic relationships, too! If you focus on them, you might be able to portray a romantic relationship in a way that feels comfortable and relatable to you.

For me, my favorite aspect of a relationship- any kind, really- is showing how it makes the characters feel as though they are home. They are safe, they are loved, they are accepted, they belong. It's an achingly human desire, and while this isn't the only way to portray a meaningful relationship, romantic or otherwise, I think it's a good way to convey what love is like without getting into sexy stuff and attraction.

I wrote a bit about this concept in the first two qs of this ask game, if you're interested!

2.) Songs and poetry

If you want to try your hand at conveying a character experiencing attraction, songs and love poems are an amazing resource! Obviously, don't plop lyrics and poetry lines in your work, I'm not asking anyone to plagiarize. But maybe google greatest love songs/poems and explore what language is used.

Attraction tends to be associated with physical signs like an elevated pulse, feeling physically hot, or being distracted. A character may act clumsy/nervous/shy around their crush, or try to do silly things to impress them, especially if they are young. You can try googling signs of attraction for writers, too.

These physical signs and "falling in love" behaviors are linked to powerful emotions, which is why I'm recommending the songs and poems. These feelings will move your readers far more than listing physical indications of attraction- those are mostly there to signal to the reader what is brewing.

3.) Utilize the off-screen sex scene

Real talk, it once took me over a year to write a 14,000 word sexy story. I usually update my fics with a 4-7k word update every other week. Sex scenes are one of the most challenging topics for me, is what I'm trying to say!

That's why the off-screen sex scene is one of my favorite maneuvers! You can imply that characters had a sexy encounter and discuss what it meant to them without getting into it. This is. So much easier.

4.) But what if I WANT to write the sex scene?

I don't think there's a quick solution for this- or if there is, I haven't found it. I start by writing what I want the characters to get out of their sexy encounter. How does the sex reflect where they are in their relationship? With their own body and physical/mental health? What needs do the characters have in this moment (physical or not), and how can they help each other fulfill them? If they can't, what does that mean for the relationship and the individuals?

I have no clue what is sexy/hot, and I don't experience attraction. But I do know that sex is a complex topic that means wildly different things to different people. Sometimes, people experience an urge that they want to scratch, without or without a partner or partners. Sometimes, people feel lonely or stressed, and sex can alleviate that. Sometimes, people like to think of fun scenarios and role play with their partners, or explore a new facet of their sexuality, or...

Man, I'm sure there are a zillion other things I could mention here. Basically, as a writer, you can approach sex from many different angles. Some of them might be comfortable/relatable for you, some might not. There's room to explore here and see if something works for you :D

I hope that helps! Thanks for the q, and happy Pride!

[snowsheba]

ok anyway i finished aveyond 3-1: lord of twilight. thoughts below cut

characters

mel mel is about as resourceful as a walnut. hate this immensely. she's training as a spy and couldn't figure out her friend edward is the prince? she doesn't know basic geography? i get the gag of "she's stubborn and hates admitting she's wrong" but it got old FAST baby

i do appreciate that they lean into her selfishness though. i think it's EXTREMELY funny. like when you see eston and he's like i'm blind and lost :( and she's just like well i'm sure you'll find your way home :)

or you find out the merchant died and instead of saying literally anything else she's like "i guess he won't need his merchant pass anymore!!!!" like girl. you and stella were MADE for each other.

stella stella is perfect. i love her. perfect balance of ditzy and serious to underly whatever the fuck she's got going on underneath. 10/10.

i really REALLY like the dynamic she and mel have. it literally feels like mel is like "we can't do that" and stella is like 🥺 please and mel goes: ok... i guess we will do that. i deeply, DEEPLY desire more of them interacting in the next three games outside of the weird catty jealousy from mel at the start.

also, i think she and mel should kiss.

edward honestly edward pissed me off because he got more lines than literally anyone else and also he knows things because... he's the prince. ok?? i am a strong believer that edward thinks he's hot shit until he has to fight a monster and then it's mel who's pwning ass while he's freaking out in the bg. i think edward should be a himbo.

i hate that the writing rewards every single smug moment of his too. not only if he insufferably know-it-all but he's always RIGHT. and like yeah boohoo he doesn't believe mel's story but the writing is like "yeah but it makes sense he doesn't because vampires aren't thought to exist." WE GET IT. YOU LIKE EDWARD. WE GET IT!! WHY DOES HE HAVE MORE LINES THAN MEL, THE PROTAGONIST!!!

te'ijal i learned more about te'ijal in this game than any other aveyond installment combined. if anything, it made me feel more confident that i'm writing her in a way that works with game canon. i loved every single one of her stupid nicknames she gave people and i LOVE how she and mel get along. immediate synergy just because they've got shit to do and muscley men to help them do it.

i also think it was extremely, extremely funny when she gets untied and she's like "the sun! it's too late, my crumpet. we're dead." like LKJDSKLFJKSLDJF that delivery!!! also, what the hell is a crumpet.

galahad i looked up what a crumpet was and it is unsweetened bread made of flour, water, and yeast cooked on a pan. usually you put stuff on it. i bet galahad wouldn't. galahad looks as plain as a crumpet. i can see it.

this is probably the first time i've actually liked galahad as his own character, rather than how he can be used as a foil to others. also, shameless plug to read iz's fic about the bar scene because after i experienced it the fic became Very Very Important To Me.

others i like how professor gray's house remained locked up for the rest of the game. i thought that was very funny.

story

predictable in the classic rpg way. extremely good because of it. i do think it's very funny how heptitus plays into everything consistently. i also appreciate that you are rewarded for exploring everything!

gameplay

if i had realized the fast travel required activating the mirrors first i would've been happier throughout the game. unfortunately, i did not. whoopsies!!!!!

i think my main complaint is that it is super unclear what needs to be done next. you're given one dialogue prompt ("go east" "go west") and if you forget it you're fuuuucked. i didn't know what to do until i was like hang on i bet wine delivery guy will tell me the next town to go to! and he did! and i went there and got confused again. i ended up severely overleveled by the end of it because i kept wandering into places i shouldn't.

anyway i looked up a walkthrough and sorted it out but the idea that edward going "let's find civilization!" means to talk to the reporter and then talking to heptitus in witchwood makes sense is....... i mean. really?

conclusion

as always, a banger. hopping right into 3-2 🤪

[daveslutstaine]

hello Andy, how ya doin? :D would you recommend some classical music, more on a emotional/grand scale if you don't mind? :D (I'm on a hunt for new stuff to listen to while drawing and finally kinda overcame the feeling of being a pretentious fraud if what plays in the bg is in any shade classical)

Hiya! I'm doing great! I hope you are too! I'd love to recommend you some stuff!

In terms of emotional works, I tend to lean towards the more melancholic works, but there are some works I do feel are very over the top with their emotions, especially if you play them at loud enough volumes. Anyway since it's spooky season, let me recommend you one of my favorite songs for the season

Here is Camille Saint-Saens "Danza Macabra" and one of my favorite works by him

There's also Organ Symphony No. 3 in C Minor that I also really enjoy by him! Also as a side note, I'm personally really picky when it comes to performances and renditions of songs, so some of these links might take you to places like the internet archive bc I personally hated all the versions of this one song on yt (do not get me started on performances bc I will rant for ages about that), but this link is the one performance I actually liked! Camille also did The Carnival Of Animals which I also really like!

Now one emotional work I really really like is Requiem In D Minor by Mozart!

I have yet really explore much of Mozart's stuff tbh since I'm currently obsessing over other composers, but so far this is my favorite work of Mozart's! Very beautiful and chocked full of really bittersweet emotions!

And another composer who's stuff I also haven't really dug deep into but so far really enjoy, is Bach! I specifically love Toccata and Fugue in D minor! Especially for this time of year!!!!

And now for one of composers I really love, here is Giuseppe Tartini's Sonata in G Minor, or more famously known as "The Devil's Trill"

I would really recommend you stay with this version of the song. All other versions I've listened to have completely disappointed me in the past, but like I said, I'm just really picky. Anne Sophie Mutter is a fantastic violinist and she put so much emotion into this piece that it never fails to blow me away each time I listen to it! Another one of Giuseppe's works that I love is less known but it's so sweet and I just AAAAAAA 💖💖💖💖💖💖!!!!

If love had a sound it would be this song! It makes my heart go ❤❤💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗 every time I hear it! Oh to have the talent Tartini did.

Now this next piece is by composer Dmitri Shostakovich and it's my favorite work by him!

It's called String Quartet No. 15 and is more on the somber side of things, but it has it's semi-dramatic moments. Shostakovich also has another string quartet that is more dramatic than this and that's String Quartet no. 8 which is way more well known that the previous one

There's also string quartet no. 14 which is more on par with no. 15, but does sound a lot tamer

Speaking of Russian composers, here is one of my favorite pieces by Tchaikovsky! And it also happens to be the one piece he fucking despised

There's also this song called "Autumn Song" that he composed that I have in my 💖💖💖💖💖 playlist. It's a really sweet song on par with Sarabande by Tartini

Now this composer is one I haven't heard much from at all, only this one song, but so far I really like it! It's Schoenberg's Verklarte Nacht! (Would post the video but it seems I've hit tumblr's stupid video limit -_-).

Now with Beethoven, there's a few songs of his I feel would fit your request and those are Moonlight Sonata (the full 15 minute version) and Symphony No. 7 second movement along with his most famous Symphony No. 5

And now on to the final and my favorite, and I mean favorite boy, Father Antonio Vivaldi! Begining of course with everyone's favorite works of his, The Four Seasons. I personally love Summer and Autumn the best. I like the second movement of Spring a lot too! There's also Violin Concerto in B Minor that I really love!!!! Makes me feel as though I were right in the baroque era! Then there's also this concerto he wrote for the organ and violin and I just 💖💖💖💖!!! My favorite part is the second movement, but I like I said, I'm a sucker for the slower, calmer parts!!!! Not too slow of course, but slow enough that it manages to be beautiful without being boring. Then there's also La Stravaganza which is just so..... AAAAAAAA!!!!!! The ending especially! I would kill to see this played live by a metal band. And then there's one of my current favorites by him and that is cello sonata rv 40 .Not the most grandiose of his work, but I love the how gentle it is! Even the more faster parts are still ever so gentle. Ah I love it so much!!! And then there's La Follia, which is again another song that I would kill to see played by a metal band!

And that's all the recommendations I have for you today! I really hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

[siren-virus]

It's time for asks :D Luckyboy!Ben AU is the theme for today :P This time I'll make one asks that would encapsulate everyone and give a little speculation on each character a paragraph each :3

How would Ben deal with his fans? considering he already has a fanbase I imagine there would be a lot of aliens that would get out of their way in order to get an autograph and a photo with him, as well as have a chat with him if possible. How often does that work? Who knows? Not everything that is said in the internet/extranet is to be believed, and Nekomata's already a cryptyd, Have you seen the amount of theories there are about him? Some are crazy, like, who said that he was the ancient representation of the future version of an alternate universe of all cats that once were gods of the human race? Jimmy definitely didn't write that one, most definitely not, he's better than making a theory without evidence (He totally did a crack theory that everyone else started taking seriously because it's the internet/extranet) Also cosplayer, there would be so many cosplayers of Nekomata that I wouldn't be surprised if they eventually managed to make a Nekomata Convention in Undertown one day XD

Gwen 10 and her fans, which are mostly kids because, let's be real, they are the only ones who would not consider the ramifications and severity of being a child soldier, wouldn't understand it, or would just gloss over it because "That lady is SOOOO COOOOOOOOL (☆▽☆) ". I imagine that she would go to a lot of events, conventions, fundraisers and more only to be able to be there dfor the children, because let's be real, despite being the most stoic and down to earth of the OG trio, she still has a soft spot for a lot of things, and I wouldn't be surprised if children were one of them. I wonder what other kind of fans she would get over the time, like, she wouldn't get cosplayers because that shit is hard with how many aliens she has (though she would still have some dedicated fans that she HAS to promote because DAMN they did it really good), but fanartists and merchandise collectors for sure I think.

Would Rook ever have any fans out there? I imagine that he would have some rookie Plumbers that would look up to him and ask him for some advice on different things, or to ask for some stories of his, after all he's one of the few competent, functional and future magistrate. Would he have any humans fans though? I'm not sure how often he would be in the public view, but I imagine he would get some fans out there, and I feel that those fans would think something similar to us with OG Rook (or I think of him at least), that he's a sunshine boy that must be protected yet can and will kick ass.

Jammie, I imagine that with all the theories and conspiracies that he would've done in the past, he should have a blog online where he posts them and has a following with him, many of whom would share his interests of said theories, sharing their own; a fraction would be there only for the interesting facts taht he could display as well as the once in a blue moon crack conspiracies that he would post (let's face it, despite everything, he's still a teenager, of course he does crack stuff once in a while). The latest hit, what's up with Nekomata? Is he a cryptyd, and alien, a human with neon hair dye? And why does he loves Mr.Smoothie so much? Also on a tangent. Mr.Smoothie, is there a secret ingredient behind their tasteful beverages?

Ok, this'll be the last luckyboy thing ngl, I'm dried up and out of ideas ;;;

I do have a new idea tho just a lil outback (not australia lol, outside) and explorative thing. I've been playing a lot of BOTW and I forgot how much I love adventure shows. Mainly an excuse to learn BG's. I've managed to finally figure out 2-point perspective!!

Maybe I draw art of it, maybe not. I'm busy fighting people at the moment. (and drawing hefty BG's)

Ben, being the illusive fellow he is wouldn't deal with his fans, I mean he'll entertain them sometimes, but he knows he'll get a big head if he does it too much. So he just poofs away when the crowds get too big.

Jimmy would most deffinitely belive that at some point cat people roamed earth. His evidence, the Egyptians. Cat statues, portaits with cats. Cats are descended from aliens! Therefore. Jimmy might be a closeted furry too, but he'll never think on it.

Perhaps not a nekomata convention, but maybe an alien hero convention, so all the big heroes known throughout the universe are celebrated.

As for Gwen, cause she's a well known hero, I'd believe there'd be conventions not extactly shaped around her, but she'd be included, artists would sell portaits, figures etc.

You'd most likely find her stuff at a Sci-Fi convention.

Rook, not known to the medias eyes, would not have any fans, just a few kids that wanna be plumbers when they grow up.

Jimmy would deffinitely have a blog, like that one guy from Stven Universe. His blog was somethn about keeping Beach City Weird

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

(pt. 1) as an allo, i will say i experience the things on the first list, but like most of the time. it's not a constant thing where i just constantly get horny seeing or thinking about people i'm sexually attracted to. sometimes when im super not in the mood i don't feel anything, and that feeling can last for weeks. but when i am in the mood, it's that first list on overdrive omg. there's other things going on and not just me being allo (hormonal cycles, etc.)

[I’m gonna jump in with two things. This is long so I’ll put most of it as well as my response under a cut. And if any other allos or gray-aces wanna tell me about how they feel sexual attraction feel free to I am fascinated and confused]

Some of that I get, like libido is attached to hormones as well as mood and general well being at times. And if libido and attraction are linked for you that would make sense. Idk how you would get anything done if you were constantly distracted by this kinda stuff

(pt. 2) so yea i feel the first list semi-regularly, and it can happen with people i've never personally met, or even fictional characters (*stares in yelena from black widow*). and the level of sexual attraction and how intensely i feel that first list, that can differ from person to person. and the intensity can go through ebbs and flows as well. for me anyway it's not a static state of constant high arousal or constant medium arousal or anything like that. there's other factors that go into i

(pt. 3) there's other factors that go into it. but to answer one of your questions yes, this is why some people ask about dick sizes. that visual helps fuel the fantasy more and can increase sexual attraction once there's a visual to attach to the person you're attracted to. for me personally, i can experience that type of attraction, very intensely, for a bunch of different people, some at the same time (this is why on my blog you'll see me jumping from person to person so much). and idk how tm

You know, it occurs to me that I don’t ever picture their dicks? That’s just not a thing that I want to imagine. But I’ll come back to that in a bit. 

(pt. 4) and idk how tmi this is (this whole thing might be so if it is feel free to ignore) but when i'm in my "i wanna be railed and that's the only thing on my mind" mood, i can fantasize about anyone i'm sexually attracted to, or multiple people i'm sexually attracted to, and it'll give those intense orgasms op was talking about. this is part of why i insert myself in reader inserts, bc if i don't i just can't get into it as much.

(pt. 5) i can't always imagine someone i'm sexually attracted to fucking someone else and kinda reading it like a voyeur. often that doesn't do anything for me. i gotta imagine myself in those situations. that's part of the reason i'm so picky when it comes to reader insert stuff (and why it's so easy to get my feelings hurt when there aren't proper warnings). i just really immerse myself and during those times where my hormones make me extra horny, honestly any orgasm i have will be intense

I do know that being more mentally into something makes the feelings better and more pleasurable. And I do remember talking about that. It’s interesting that it makes it better for you. I think you mentioned once something about it tying to who you write for as well. 

But yeah I could never insert myself. If I try and picture myself I get really grossed out (for more reasons than one though) and can’t keep reading. I have to have a disconnect from what I read to some level. I can sort of step into the shoes of the pov character a little bit (and I do get invested somewhat, there are some kinks that that I can’t read about with a reader insert that I would happily read in member x member) but there has to be some distance or I can’t do it. And for writing even more so.

(pt. 6) but especially if i'm imagining doing something i'm into with someone i'm sexually attracted to. and for me personally, it's usually not just looks that'll get me sexually attracted to someone. when i say i like funny people, i mean on many occasions, i can't be sexually attracted to a person unless i find them humorous. this doesn't always happen, but most of the time if you're not funny or i don't enjoy hearing you talk, i can't be sexually attracted to you.

mmmm yes, other factors can go into primary attraction other than just looks. 

(pt. 7) there's a bunch of people i know that, bc of other physical factors that i generally like in a person, i may have been sexually attracted to, but i never have been bc they're just not funny to me. so as soon as someone makes me laugh or smile or i find them humorous, even if i'm just watching them in a video, other factors about them become attractive to me and i end up sexually attracted then. this goes for some ggs where, i like them, but i can't write smut for them bc i don't find

(pt. 8) bc i don't find them funny. this goes for bgs as well, but bc of the difference in presentation this happens more often with ggs for me. this went all over the place so i guess in conclusion, for me, i go feral when people make me laugh and generally have physical traits that i tend to find sexual. i can feel sexual attraction to people based on looks alone, but in general they gotta make me laugh first. and this fluctuates i'm not in a constant state of feral. sometimes i feel nothing.

It is really interesting cuz there are so many things I like in other people but those things don’t turn me on. I realize that I have been using the term feral different from y’all lmao. 

At the moment I’m trying to parse out if, in my last relationship, I wanted sex because I wanted it with him, or because I was comfy with him, it felt good, and I knew he would be caring. At this point like like sex with the right person and I know I desire it in a sensual sense, but not in a person sense (I’ve been in a very don’t touch me mood lately. Like I wanna feel these sensations but I absolutely do not want a person to cause them)

Also I never fantasized about my partners. I can with idols sort of? But there’s a massive disconnect. It’s more of a character with a story line than just, imagining have sex. And any imagining of having sex, suddenly I’m not thinking about their voice or face because doing that makes things supremely uncomfy. I kinda wonder, do y’all fantasize about your crushes sexually? Cuz that was another thing I could never do. If I explored the ideas it just felt really weird and any sexual dreams about friends always make me feel real uncomfy.

[wonwooslibrary]

ult. group questions! (i am sorry this is SO late)

thank you @cha-lan for tagging me!

i’ll tag @heartshxkr and @woozisnoots (to support the meteor garden watching group!) and anyone else who would like to do this!

directions: answer the following questions based on your ult group(s).

I actually have 5 ult groups, but for this, i’ll stick with my main ones: bts and seventeen!

1) who as your first bias?

bts: surprisingly to me, my first bias was namjoon, and he was also my first ever kpop bias. I'm pretty sure he became my bias because he was the only member I recognized for the first two weeks before I learned the other member's names

svt: if I am remembering correctly, it was either jihoon or minghao. though, the first member to catch my eye was jun in the don't wanna cry music video.

2) who is your bias now?

bts: seokjin! he created my bias type (for bgs); vocalists, and members of hyung lines. I just love how funny he is and how he isn't afraid to do anything (like cut his hair with kitchen scissors when the company refuses to let him cut his hair)

svt: ...there are five of them. in order, soonyoung, jun, wonwoo, jihoon and seungcheol. basically, the 96 line and the leader line. though, they do fight over the top spot a lot, especially jun and soonyoung. though after silent boarding gate, I think jun might be #1

3) what is the first ever mv you watched by them?

bts: it was dope! since it was in october of 2017, i'm really confused how it wasn't dna. but my first three were dope, save me and spring day!

svt: don't wanna cry! also in october of 2017. I think the first three were don't wanna cry, boom boom and adore u? I don't really remember the 2nd and 3rd ones lol

4) what's your favorite mv?

bts: hands down, spring day. not only is it my favorite era and song by them, but it was also the time of grape joon and that must never be forgotten. though, stay gold and hearbeat are close seconds.

svt: ...do I have to pick? I guess i'll say; change up (because i'm a leader line stan), fallin' flower (because it's freaking beautiful), oh my! (because that's my favorite era) and don't wanna cry (because it's the first mv I saw).

5) if you could listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

bts: maybe...heartbeat? I just really like the song and the mv is amazing! if I couldn't pick heartbeat, I think i'd pick fly to my room

svt: either moonwalker, call call call, rocket or no f.u.n. I am very bad at picking one song lol. but I wouldn't mind listening to any of these for the rest of my life

6) who would you want to see them collab with?

bts: I actually have the same answers for both groups, but i'll say one for each. so the first option is TROYE SIVAN. I ~love~ louder than bombs, and to have them actually create a song together would be so freaking amazing I would cry.

svt: the second option is 5 Seconds of Summer. I think it would be really cool to see either bts or svt work with 5sos and make a rock/pop punk genre song, since that is pretty different compared to what both groups make.

7) what mv concept do you want to see them do?

bts: I really want to see them do something similar to maniac by conan grey or universe by exo? i'm a sucker for those types of songs and seeing bts do that would be amazing.

svt: i'm thinking something along the lines of view by shinee / 4 walls by f(x). I really like those styles and I think svt could pull it off.

8) have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

bts: I know for a fact I had a dream with yoongi in it once, like a year ago, but I can't remember what happened in it for the life of me

svt: after watching silent boarding gate the day it was released I had a dream similar to that mv, but I was obvs the girl in the mv and I didn't leave jun cause I could never do that to him

9) if you could spend the day with one member, who would it be, and what would you do?

bts: i would absolutely love to spend a day with seokjin. not only because he is my bias, but because he just seems so fun and energetic and I want to hang out with someone who can make me laugh and act chaotic.

svt: ...i have an idea for each of my biases so because I can't pick here they all are; with seungcheol, i'd want to go on a midnight drive to nowehere, kinda like my drabble, all my love. with jun, all I could think about is a cat cafe date...just...ugh I would love that. with soonyoung, I would love to go to karaoke or an arcade. he just seems so fun to hang out with, so we’d need to so somewhere that we can be chaotic. with wonu, I would love to go to one of those HUGE libraries and just kind of explore and read. lastly, with jihoon, I would love for him to teach me how to produce music. I’ve always had an interest in that and having someone like jihoon teach me, I would cry.

10) which member do you think you would get on best with?

bts: either yoongi or jungkook, tbh. with yoongi, we’re both pretty quiet, but we can also be loud and we have similar personalities. with jungkook, we both like games and have a lot of interests and we’d definitely be able to have a long discussion about the things we love.

svt: most likely either chan or seungkwan. chan and I are both used to being the youngest when with friends and we’re sick of it lmao. with seungkwan, I feel like we’d playfully argue a lot? and I do that with my friends anyway so I think we’d get a long like we’ve been friends forever.

11) which member would you think you would argue with?

bts: most likely taehyung, I think we’d end up arging over whether we are arguing or having a discussion. we’re just kinda like that I guess lol.

svt: hands down, jeonghan. I would fight him in a heartbeat whether there was a purpose or not or whether it was verbally or physically. there is just something about him and his slytherin energy (let’s ignore the fact that i am also a slytherin).

12) if you had to choose one member to scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

bts: probably jimin or yoongi. jimin would just laugh at everything and yoongi would just silently judge me.

svt: either vernon or jihoon. vernon would most likely say something along the lines of “you do you” and move on with his day, and jihoon would be similar to yoongi, but instead of silently judging me, he’d say everything he’s thinking out loud. rip.

[3416]

emma, babes!! aw, that’s a mood, but i hope the Bad softens! ahh there’s around 145 songs, i can’t do faves 😅 but rn i’m on better days by roosevelt & it’s rlly nice :) 🥺 it's beautiful how you find smth beautiful in all the colors :') ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💖 oh YES i see where you're coming from. the fact that it's the ""norm"" to choose a major/career straight out of high school is so. dumbakfdh i kinda always knew what i wanted to do, but rn i'm doubting it, so i might take a year off. (1/3)

and yOU WILL!! i believe in you & your ability to fill it out in time. i’m proud of you for taking the next step; we love that Growth for you. but aHHH!!!! production!!! that’s very, very cool. and :/ that’s the us of a babey :/ hopefully, it works out somehow 🤞 i’m sure whatever you do, you’ll excel in it. oh My, while i don’t listen to podcasts (yet), i’ve wanted to for a while and will give these a go, so thank you!! oh, i’ll switch between fics/books, but rn, i’m in a book period. (2/3)

BABE!!! YOUR TASTE!! i LOVED iwwv, i read it last fall and it was Beautiful. i watched tgf two nights ago and loved it!! djfshk yes, there is Rambling, and that’s why i’ve tried twice but haven’t finished the book. (a/n: may i suggest the secret history to read next?) ah yes, it’s amazing how much we’re willing to watch the “"same”“ show again and again. now: fave holiday? describe your fashion style. do you cook/bake? hoping you get study visual media! rooting for you 💓 (3/3)

((last thing: i finished the soundtrack whilst replying and now i;m sad again 🥺😭 talk to me abt what you’d like to see robbe and/or sander do in s4/the future!!)) (4/3)

YOU are really.. the sweetest of all time. sorry it took me a bit to respond, i haVEN’T HAD TIME TO SIT DOWN N ACTUALLY GET ON TUMBLR IN A COUPLE DAYS SO I AM RN BEFORE I LEAVE FOR XMAS DINNER…. that song is so vibey and lowkey, i like it omg… i agree it’s so fucking stupid lollll, especially when the education system doesn’t really allow to explore your interests THAT much. it’s getting so……… involved and One Thing has to take up your whole time in order for you to be part of smth and it’s jsut.. dumb. it’s hard to navigate. WHAT DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL FOR?? or want to i guess? before you started doubting. there’s always time to decide :’) sometimes i feel truly paralyzed by decision-making, even when i logically know that there’s nothing stopping you from changing things up and learning throughout the entirety of your life, lol. NAYWAY. THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT. it makes me warm.

OHHH you should totally get into podcasts!! if you have any monotonous work or a commute or anything like that, they’re SUPER helpful to pass the time… they’ve really gotten me through the past year and a half of work, lol. and LUCKY YOU’RE IN A BOOK PERIOD.. i love that feeling so much, one of the best in the world.FJKLDSJFKLSD I FEEL LIKE.. I COULD NEVER JUST SIT AND READ THE GOLDFINCH LMAOOOO, props to ppl who did bc LOL that shit just keeps GOING. i had it in audio form and took lots of breaks so it took me like a week to finish but it was really good!!! i liked the movie, and that’s why i decided to give it a go fkldjfsd. the way i’m TOTALLY a movie before book person bc i get the visuals presented to me before AND i can’t be disappointed bc the book is so additive and better most of the time. iconic. i wonder if that’s a popular opinion, but i feel like it’s not. also i’VE HEARD mixed things abt the secret history, but the ppl who love it really love it. i actually legit own a copy and have for years, i just haven’t read it YET FJDFKSD i have so many books like that.

oh YOU’RE A SKAM FAN LET’S GOOOO.. what’s your fave remake??? and your fave characters in all of the skamverse in general???? have u seen them all? as for robbe and sander in the future, LISTEN….. THEY ARE THE SWEETEST…. for s4, i dont really know, just lots of them being cute in the bg is what i want. i highly doubt we are gonna get much of them, but i need to see them being happy and couple-y and annoyingly sweet through the eyes of other ppl…. as for the later future… i want them to be able to enter careers they love aka art for sander, and for robbe… it’s so hard bc we don’t really know what he’s fully into??? i know he’s into music though, so maybe smth with that!!!! always got those headphones around his neck, my artsy boys. i want them to have a small apartment together where they have a million traditions of their own to make up for the lack of them in childhood!!!!!!!!!! and a CAT bc sanders a cat person as everyone agrees on (so are all the evens) and they name it smth bowie related…. oddity but they call him odie? tom………? jdkfjkdf ash? who KNOWS IM BAD AT THAT PART. sander with a little studio and sander with art shows once he starts gaining a bit of attention in the art world, and there’s always one work with a little piece of robbe in it somehow… probably more than one most of the time. the two of them getting to take trips togETHER!!!!!! sander proposing in some grand romantic way i have yet to comprehend. their wedding night they DO stay at that hotel just for shits and giggles bc sander meant every word he said!!!!! (except the naked part but hed still do it if robbe was up for it lMAO) i just want them to be happy. a great group of friends and family they still get to see all the time. meeting each other’s parents and working through their past trauma together…. just. sap.

my favorite holiday….. unpopular opinion but as a single person, i love valentines day even if it makes me ache for love. i just love a holiday that celebrates love. and generally christmas!!!!!! this year i have a LOT going on around this time, so it doesn’t really feel like it’s christmas at all so. less enjoyable, but ! still love the cheery vibe and i love giving ppl things. wbu?

my fashion style is……… lack of style. i have a hard time finding clothes that look good, in my opinion, on me, so it’s hardjdkfjdklfjs.. i wear a lot of like. leggings and tshirts and jeans with sweaters and cardigans, you know.. very basic, not advanced or remarkable in the slightest. which is not to say that i don’t love fashion bc i do have a style i like i just. don’t own much that fits into it bc i hate spending money on clothes for some reason.

the way i’m the least capable human… i don’t really cook. i feel like i overthink eveyrthing in the kitchen and it takes me 489593458 mins to prepare bc it has to be PERFECT, but cooking can also just be a feel thing and i’m not good at thatjdklf. if i had to, i’m resourceful enough to start making meals for myself, but i don’t really as it stands. with baking, mostly the same, although when i was younger i loved it!! i think i’m pretty good when i do do it, i just….. don’t often lol.

ANYWAY THANK U FOR ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND INDULGING MEEEEE… drop more abt urself any time, i don’t want to seem like i’m prying but!! i’m curious and you’re a sweetheart. merry christmas to you if you celebrate, and even if you don’t, hope you’re having a great day regardless!! ❤️ 

[emberz7]

💚 AND IT'S THE LION'S DENW HERE YOU WILL DIERGKHKHKHJJ

help, I NOW HAVE A NEW FAVORITE SONGG

2:35 is my fav on that video for reasons :3 FRICTION IN YOUR HEAD, FRICTION IN MY, I STILL REMEMBER HIS EYSSBFJFKHKKBN

i love love LOVE the bg colors and the slight animations and the way you drew Hajime and Izuru and djgjhkdkgksg

is it bad that whenever Nagito appeared i was like– THERE'S THE GAY HOPE BOY, THERE'S THE LAD!!! :D im sorry Chiaki i love you too but i am very very transmasc and love Nagito's gender *sobs* HE. LOOKS. SO GOOD IN UR ART.

okay but in general the animatic, gods, i love it so much?? THE FLOW, actually, this song, it wasn't my vibe? at first at least, a really really good video/animatic/MAP makes me go feral tho and boy, i'm adding this to my music now O(-(

related but also unrelated, i actually drew Izuru as a lion before bc i wanted to know how his hair would work as a mane andnbdjgkdkd suffice to say the lion is vey handsome–

OMG, i forgot to talk abt Hajime, the whole animatic was focused around him, IM SORRY IM JUST, HE IS SO GOOD, I LOVE HIM, he just hits too close to hime for me but i love him and i love how the song fits him and how well you did his story, the flasshes to the past and through the NWP anfndkgkdkbgb

much love :3 ah, wait, i think i never did get to finish watching your other animatic? i should go watch that one too :DDD!!! sorry for the long askskgkd

ASHEJESJDJD IM GLAD U LIKE IT!! if u like that genre of music i really recommend the front bottoms (band) and maybe the song gender school dropout, if you ever feel like exploring some alt music!

THANK YOUUUUU!! i loveeeee making the designs for the characters a little perked up so im happy u enjoyed hajime, izuru and komaeda’s designs <3

chiaki has gotta be one of my faves ever <3<3 theyre so cool and nice and chill and i wish i had a friend as nonchalant as chiaki

KAMUKURA’S HAIR IS VERY MANE-LIKE. him and enoshima are hair queens

HAJIME IS ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS he’s like a cadbury egg !! simple on the outside but almost an overload of stuff om the inside. i didnt like him in the beginning because he seemed super basic and i didnt understand why everyone else liked him but then we learned more about his character and why he went to hopes peak and then found out about the izuru thing and HOLLLLYYYYY CRAP you can fit a lot of trauma and personality and learning into one dude. gotta love em guys who realize their self worth. overall, i think hes really neat!! as my initial attraction for komaeda declined into kin territory my love for hajime stonk’d into “god you are such a great character and i hope you kiss your knuckles before you punch me” territory

ANYWAY you might have found that animatic by now, i hope you enjoy the arts and stuff <3 i think ill try to post more dangan art, i used to do it more often but i dont anymore…ill try!

[nonbinaryresource]

I don’t feel feminine though I'm afab. I used to say if I had a choice I'd rather have a male body because I don't really like my female body and what comes along with it (breasts & bras, period, the idea of pregnancy and menopauze and the idea of having sex with someone by something going on me appals me), but not to the point I can't look at myself in the mirror or even that I'd want to change myself by surgery or hormones because I feel like I'd be uncomfortable by that as well. (1/7)

I don’t relate to female gender role most of all. I hate it, but I always thought that was just me being femenist (even though I didn’t know what femenism was, I always tried to show I could do the same things as guys). But I also feel like if I was a guy, I’d have trouble with those gender expectations as well since I’m been told I’m pretty sensitive and I don’t like rhough stuff. (2/7)

Someone suggested I might be a demiguy. I was like ‘oh, that’s like me’ when they linked me the page, but then I started thinking about it and felt unsure if I should be calling myself that because I am not very masculine. I felt like I might offend people, because I do like some stuff associated with girls (eg. 1 dress, 2 earrings, sandals, a bracelet) and I did use to dress up in pink when I was younger, but stopped around 10 when people started associating me to barbie over it. (3/7)

My language doesn’t have alternatives between 'he’ and 'she’ (have looked it up) and I don’t really mind 'she’ per se either, more being grouped with woman (“Why are women like this?” -look at me- me internally:“Why are you asking me???”) or being called stuff like a 'lady’. I have some English people who call me 'they’ though at it feels nicer than just she, like a preference. (4/7)

I switched to non-binary but that’s also really vague and I don’t know if it really helps explain who I am, but I’m also stressed out about picking a more specific label, because nb feels safe because you can’t do much wrong with it and you can’t insult people or make you like defend why you indentify with that specific label. I know the answer is always 'you gotta choose yourself’, but my question is, how do you deal/cope with this second guessing myself. (5/7)

Sometimes I feel like I’m being just ridiculous and just an atypical girl who’s being dumb and sometimes I lay awake at night and sometimes I just want to just stop thinking about it and just say I’m just me, but it’d also feel good to have a group to identify with and know I’m not alone so. How did you settle on something and stop thinking it over and over and over? (6/7)

(PS: Feel free to shorten it and take parts out that might make others uncomfortable like mention of periods and whatnot, since making people uncomfortable I definitly don’t want. Also feel free shorten this to the actual question, but I wanted to give BG info to explain my situation a bit in case that’s helpful for you. Apologies for the lenght of this) (7/7)

Hi, lovely, anon! I would never want to shorten or cut up your ask and censor your journey. In the future, though, you can submit this all in one block by using the submit feature. If you navigate to our submit page on a browser that you’re not logged into, then you can even submit anonymously! You can always always request your submission be anonymized, and we will copy and paste it into a new post to protect your identity.

But let’s get into your actual ask!

To me, from my outsider’s perspective, it really sounds like your main problem and struggle is that you care way too much about what other people think. You’re letting the unknown, perceived thoughts of others not only control what you do and how you look, but how you think as well.

It is absolutely understandable to need or want to live closeted in any transphobic society. It’s okay to have to live in the closet to stay safe. You are never obligated to come out to anyone (expect yourself). Being closeted can be a matter of literal life and death safety.

But denying how you feel and not even letting yourself explore how you feel because of others, it’s going to wear you down and eat you up. It’s hard to know who you are and not be able to live that truth. But in my opinion and experience, it’s even harder to not let yourself know who you are.

Work on not framing gender by gender roles or what other’s think of you. Treat this journey as something more personal and meditate on it. All you have to do is let yourself think about it and let yourself feel it.

You don’t have to come out. You don’t have to share this with anyone. You don’t have to change the way you act, dress, or label yourself. 

It is perfectly valid and wonderful to just privately experiment. If you’re feeling comfortable with online friends helping you with different pronouns and such, then that’s also a valid and wonderful thing you can do!

You can achieve this through the hard work of confronting these beliefs in yourself and standing up for yourself. You have to be the one who tells yourself “no, it’s not okay to limit myself” and to encourage yourself that “even my confusing feelings are a part of my journey and that can be wonderful”. You’ve got to be the one who strongly lets yourself feel your emotions and work through them. Stop telling yourself no. Start letting yourself be happy.

It can be a very slow process, so don’t ever forget to look back and remind yourself of the progress you have made! Even just recognizing that you’re hurting yourself and promising to start working to treat yourself more nicely is a HUGE, enormous, giant step to take. It’s something to be extremely proud of, even if you can’t feel or recognize that now.

Once you start letting yourself explore your feelings, accepting your feelings, and treating yourself kindly for your feelings, things will get easier. You won’t doubt your label so much. You won’t doubt your validity so much. You’ll have the confidence to stand up for yourself, even if it’s just to yourself.

You’re valid. You’re allowed to feel these things. You’re not doing anything wrong by questioning. You’re not bad for being confused or unsure. It’s going to be okay.

~Tera

[t1dlikeme]

Sofie's Story

“When you recognize that failing doesn’t make you a failure, you give yourself permission to try all sorts of things.” ~ Lauren Fleshman, is one of my favorite quotes, and something to remind myself in terms of diabetes management, training, and life! 

Diagnosis 

As a shy high school multi-sport athlete (track, soccer, and skiing) in Albuquerque, NM, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 16. I went from 2nd in state in the 800 my Sophomore year, to struggling to staying awake in class as a 4.0 student and barely making it through practices and workouts. With no history or knowledge of T1D in my family, we didn’t recognize the symptoms—I had a head-to-toe rash after swimming in waterfalls in Hawaii (may have triggered it) followed by months of losing weight despite eating jars of peanut butter and food each week just to keep energy—which my doctor at first thought “she’s a growing athlete” but we got bloodwork anyways. A week later, after yet another frustrating track meet, I was in the hospital with a blood sugar of 586, and was pumped to finally figure it out (until about 3 hours later when I remember eating a pear and seeing my blood sugar skyrocket, I burst into tears realizing how much of a change it would be!) 

Fast Forward…A Few Years 

After basically wanting to forget about high school (hiding in the bathroom to take shots, self-conscious and developed anxiety about weight gain post-diagnosis and just wanting to fit in), I needed something different. Although being a perfectionist and being shy / hiding from others gave me time to master my A1C early, it wasn’t sustainable and I internalized it all—until I got to college. 2000 miles from home, I chose Marquette 1) for the biomedical engineering program, and 2) for receiving a D1 Soccer Scholarship as a goalkeeper, but what I didn’t realize, is it would teach me to open up about my diagnosis and become a better athlete and advocate. I confided in my athletic trainer, who helped me with check-ins during practice (which could sometimes go 1-2 hours over the scheduled time!), and realizing we needed about ½ cup of gatorade + water every hour, supplemented with pedialyte during preseason. It was nice having my trainer, since I could get around going straight to the coaches (at first I didn’t want it to be seen as a weakness!) and she could carry around my gear for me, if needed.  

While goalkeeping allowed for easier access to management during games, practices, etc. I continued to find myself gravitating towards running, strength, and conditioning. My senior year, I began to go for runs while we were on away trips and started to become hooked—I found new ways to manage my BG’s and low intensity running basically was ‘insulin in my back pocket.! After finishing my collegiate soccer career, I joined the ‘Run with the President’ running group at Marquette with Dr. Michael Lovell (our MU President). It was around this time that another faculty member, John Klika, took me to coffee and was fascinated by my thesis research of designing a lifestyle computer algorithm and model to predict glucose and hormonal levels based on activity, stress, diet, etc. It turns out he was Type 1 himself—and a multi-ironman athlete.  

With a newfound confidence and support group, I gradually built my mileage and learned so many things from John about management, who also joined the running group and convinced me to run my first half marathon. It went really well—until, the group said next step: “the marathon.” I was like absolutely no way, I came from sprints up and down the field and have Type 1 Diabetes—I'm not sure I’m ready for that!  But, I’m not one to step down from the challenge, and I had the group helping me through the whole way. I remember my first 18-miler—5 miles from the end, I couldn’t run more than 5 steps as I couldn’t keep my blood sugar up, even with having the proper supplies, and I was just defeated. My body wasn’t used to this, having to rely primarily on glucose as fuel, instead of an intensity and fuel mix. But, I kept going—my track workouts got faster, and my next long run, 20 miles, no stopping! (It’s also important to note that I was also doing some triathlon training too, which helped keep a balance).  

I was ready and excited. Dexcom in my shorts pocket, 3 gels and gummy bears (of course), and friends cheering every step of the way! It couldn’t have been more perfect—flat line BG’s, fuel every 45 min to steady, the adrenaline rush at the 22-mile mark (the furthest I’d ever run in my life!), all propelling me to a 3rd place finish in 2:52. That was one of the best beers, post-race, I’d ever had in my life. This finish created numerous opportunities for me, including becoming a founding member of Diabetes Sports Project, JDRF Keynote talks, and more training—I wanted to try and qualify for Olympic Marathon Trials (2:45).  Unfortunately, along with these positives, came a very long string (~2-3 years) of off and on injuries—I walked 13 miles of the Boston Marathon in 2017 with a tibial stress fracture, the first of a few, and just could not catch a break. These times had a lot of lows, but taught me the resilience of having other outlets, support communities, and managing my diabetes without the ability to exercise all the time (I had started to rely on this as a form of natural ‘insulin’ all through college and into running).  

Looking back, these years of ups-and-downs were crucial to my development of outreach and community, my career, and finding the right balance of strength and running to stay healthy (turns out, soccer weight training had a lot to do with my injury free 25 years of my life!). I like to call this time falling not failing, something my therapist came up with (yes, I was seeing one, for anxiety and some low grade depression, which is something I will talk about now, since I think it is incredibly important that if you have any of these feelings, especially as a T1D, you are not alone!).  I took a job as a medical device engineer at Dexcom and moved to San Diego, CA, acting as a liaison between clinical, regulatory, quality, design and systems engineers, which was the perfect place for me as a T1D! I started the Dexcom Running Club, and from that, have some of the fondest memories. San Diego is also where I joined Prado Racing Team (PRT), and found my coach, Paul Wellman, who I still work with today.  PRT helped me find the love of running again, and I PR’d in every distance while training with them, and having a lot of fun doing so!  

My time in San Diego culminated with making an attempt at running an Olympic Trials qualifying time at CIM 2019, which I just missed in 2:49. It was such an incredible experience, however, even with missing my goal—3-minute PR, running with teammates, HEALTHY and injury-free for an entire training period, and friendships. I did have a diabetes learning experience, though, which I will take forward with future races—not all nuun is ‘carb-free’! It was on the course, and I assumed it was the zero-carbs flavor, so I took it at almost every aide station, causing me to sharply rise at about Mile 11 (especially coupled with adrenaline), which unfortunately caused some cramping around Mile 15 and slowed me off my 2:43 pace. Luckily, I was able to power through, and I will be more prepared next time.  

Current:  

I have recently moved back to Albuquerque, NM, where I grew up.  After looking for an opportunity to grow my career and move into management, this was the right move for me, and is now allowing me to explore altitude training and new heights, literally and figuratively! My family is still here, and with COVID, it has been nice to be close (and living with my boyfriend, Steve). While I am not training for any races in particular, I’m making attempts at a sub 5:00 mile (currently at 5:05 at altitude) as a ‘mini’ goal, and just trying to enjoy the simplicities of running! I am getting back into the volunteering scene, particularly with my non-profit, Diabetes Sports Project, and of course, JDRF.  

Some Tips, Tricks, and Life Lessons! 

Always be prepared—gummy bears in my sports bra are my favorite! I’ve learned many lessons along the way, including one of my first solo long run experiences with a low blood sugar and having to ask gas stations for a Gatorade that I would come back and pay for later (not my finest moment, but turns out, people can be very helpful!). Always carry a card or cash and know your numbers. Plus, some great times of having snacks on hand: my running buddies favorite line is “Hey Sof! How’s your BG?” “Great!! Why?” “Can I have some of your snacks….).” They need it too, and are thankful for it when they bonk! 

Train with people who know you at your best and at your worst, and your symptoms—those are the ones that can push you through tough workouts to the end when you don’t think you can run one more rep or mile, or can more importantly, tell you when you need a break and to take a step back. It’s often trial and error in knowing what intensities affect your blood sugar the most, but with a community, you can’t fail—you learn. As unpredictable as it is sometimes, Type 1 actually can give you an athletic edge. You have to know what your blood sugar is at all times, and how your body is feeling. No one else has to do that! 

Sofie Schunk