#I'm also at least partially certain it's a combo of disabilities and my mama's chronic fatigue arising and the familial curse of falling il | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dustylovelyrun · 1 year ago

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I honestly just wanted to be coherent, man. I've had genuine bouts of time where I would frequently sleep for 24 hours before and wake in a zombified, exhausted state suggesting that I hadn't even had a single hour of rest, and that was considered a relatively good state of being for me. I've said my head is usually empty and mind entirely blank before, but there's something so horribly different about it being empty because it's leaden. My energy levels haven't really changed from then, but I can convince myself to do the dishes now, sweep the house, or go on walks, at least.

People who drink coffee: why did you start?

I don't drink coffee and I've never wanted to, but that's obviously ~not normal~, so I'm curious why most people do start drinking it.

#not writing related #though this could probably be a writing reference if you squint for the motivations of caffeine fiends #it is also very much an addiction now too and I fully recognize that #if I skip out on it too long I'm tired AND have withdrawl symptoms #which is a wicked combination lemme tell you -#but like?#I'm human-ish?#human-adjacent?#I'm also at least partially certain it's a combo of disabilities and my mama's chronic fatigue arising and the familial curse of falling il #or having one's state of being directly impacted by the weather #even if that weather's on the other end of the country and slowly slinking in #but I mean - there's not really much I can do about that and I only get to live one time you know?#If I can avoid it then I'm going to avoid spending my life in bed #particularly since I've seen what affects that's already had on my mother and I also just really fuckin' hate sleeping too #I'll take whatever improvements I can get honestly

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