#I'm already hyping myself for my next concert

[vasattope]

Thank you Eva (@whenyoulovesomebody) for tagging me to do my receiptify 💜

I'm tagging (but no pressure 🫶🏻): @honeyedlashton, @plushyluke, @nonamefangirl and @youdontgotoparties ✨

[demonkeeperdark]

This is going to be a loooonnnnnggggg story so I'm having to put it under a keep reading line lol

For those curious - this is a recent experience I had at a metallica weekend concert which waz the best weekend of my life

My dad had gotten me metallica tickets for my birthday in April for night one w/pantera and mammoth WVH because I had never thought I would ever see pantera in my life (Due to Dimebags tragic incident) and I had already seen 5FDP last year when Megadeth opened up for them. A few days ago before the concert I found out that we had accidentally gotten both day tickets. I was stoked because I had been thinking how cool it would be to see 5FDP again along with metallica twice in one weekend. We carefully planned out our weekend because I was not going to let my dad waste those tickets let alone we had 2 more- One for his girlfriend and originally one of his buddies who backed out. I pulled along my boyfriend since 1) hes never been to a concert and 2) metallica is also his favorite band so if he saw them as his first band I thought- well shit- if I was in his position I wouldve been fucking stoked (best part he said the weekend was his best weekend ever)

Friday morning we skipped school and work and shot immediately down to LA to avoid traffic (if you live in California or have at least driven through LA at least once you know what i mean) and had to find somewhere to stay the night and get ready for the first night.

We get to the stadium and find our seats and hear Mammoth WVH first and ive never heard any of their music and it was very good (highly recommend listening to them) and I was slowly getting more hyped. Pantera came up and- Phil Anselmo gets out there on stage in fucking board shorts and no damn shoes on his feet and hella made the entire stadium straight up go fucking crazy. So well fucking performed that night. We had about an hour wait before metallica and when they came up playing Creeping Death- like holy fuck??? Just straight up slapped in the face by this godly fucking music ive only heard in the car- on my headphones through either phone or cd player- through my record player- and now I get to hear it for real...right there...and oh my god, I felt like i was in a dream all day that day, and this wasnt even the best part of this weekend- and I felt so fucking amazed. The next 2 were Harvester Of Sorrow and Leper Messiah and it sounded so fucking good...2 very good songs I wasnt expecting them to play but holy shit- it was worth it. On came The Memory Remains- the entire stadium was singing- you could hear your own voice align with everyone elses... And then it was Lux Æterna- and then it was Too Far Gone?... It was great- it was amazing. Rob and Kirk had a little bit of a "doodle"... And they looked like they were having fucking fun. Next they played Fade To Black, and I started getting emotional...then they played Shadows Follow which is my favorite off the new album which brought my emotions back up- Just to get myself lost into listening to Orion...and Nothing Else Matters really kicked me in the feels...

Sad But True played and my bf got really hyped since it was one of his favorites off the black album, and once again i got hit in the feels with The Day That Never Comes....

And once again Hardwired brought my energy and emotions up and when Fuel hit my dad and I went full on screaming the song to each other and watching the pyro and flames go off.

Metallica all paused for a second and went...

"We have time for a couple more songs...how do you all feel about...SEEK?"

I didnt hear the first "seek", but fucking hell...my bf lit up like a light bulb...

And then fucking Master Of Puppets to finish off put that cherry on top.

And all i could think off was...

I get to see them.

Again.

In two

Fucking

Days.

NIGHT 2

Hyped as shit.

I get to see 5FDP Again.

I get to see fucking Metallica Again.

My phone dies...

So I think welp I'm fucked if I want to take photos and videos for myself but eh I get to enjoy it in person, I dont really need my phone and I cant complain about just seeing it and everyone else could record it and take photos so we could all look at it later together or something and have fun with it

It was hotter this night compared to the first, so before we ran to our seats we got drinks and I ended up cutting my hand open on a water bottle but I didn't let it bother me much

We went to our seats and started getting settled and this guy came up with what looks to be a VIP ticket slung around his neck and an envelope in his hand and goes

"Hey how are you guys tonight?"

My dad with his audacity goes

"Well my daughter got a cut on her hand from a water bottle a bit ago but this is her late birthday present and shes not letting that bring her down so I think were doing great!"

"Fucking sick!" This guy replies and says, "Hey you know what?" He puts his hand into the envelope...

4.

Fucking.

Snake Pit Wristbands.

He hands them to us along with guitar picks that my bf took so fucking many of and walks away saying

"You guys will be down there, have fun"

I start balling my eyes out.

I couldnt believe all of this was happening, we were trying to find our way down and I'm just crying while everyone was taking turns guiding me down and I stand there in this field and I look around really questioning if I'm asleep and I'm just tripping on drugs or if I'm literally in the middle of the snake pit and imagining how fucking cool James Hetfield is going to look standing there in front of me where I was standing against the wall.

I must've lost it for another 15 minutes before I came to my senses and actually started getting hyped for all this because everyone would be right there in front of me.

A few minutes later Ice Nine Kills performs and I also havent heard much of their music but they were badass, all dressed up and acting like they were killing people on stage and it looked so cool yet if you were where I was it also looked so fake at the same time but it was fucking great.

They ended and 5FDP was up next and the first time I saw them it was another situation where I was at the top of the stadium and i just saw them from a distance but now I could actually see them right in front of me.

And then they came up.

Holy shit.

I was so excited to see them again and right there that I couldn't stop jumping (literally) and I had more energy then everyone else in the pit for them to the point I had Ivan Moody, Zoltan Bathory, AND Chris Kael point at me at least once.

They started wrapping things up when Zoltan Came over, points at me, and throws a pick directly at me, and I had everyone around me trying to catch it before I did but I got it directly thrown at me and caught it and I got so happy I shook my bf, dad, and his girlfriend.

Next thing to you they played The Bleeding and Chris comes over and points at me while playing his bass guitar and we looked at each other and both lip sang to the song and I got more excited over that then getting the pick.

When they started leaving the stage he came back and gave me his sweatband that has his last name imprinted on it and I couldnt fucking take it.

It was so fucking cool and badass and I didnt stop wearing it till a couple hours ago when I could finally put it somewhere safe.

Everyone started crowding in for metallica and we all started getting crowded in, and once AC/DC's A Long Way To The Top started playing everyone got really excited and hyped and crowding in more.

Everyone also started looking at Jason Mamoa amd taking photos of him in the snake pit with us before metallica came out.

After Metallicas long cutscene/intro finished they came out and played Whiplash...

If I had just reached as far as I could I could've touched Hetfields foot thats how fucking close I was to him.

At that point I couldnt even explain song by song how amazing it was, I was just rocking out and I couldnt stop, it was so fucking cool and amazing and I couldnt stop jumping again and throwing up the devil horns it was great.

End of the show they were doing theyre out to and throwing everything out and my bf got one of their picks and I started having that verge of tears again because I still couldnt believe what I just witnessed.

Not only did I get rare collectables from 5FDP, but Metallicas crew gave us pit tickets to make everything possible and that proves how fucking amazing they are.

Best weekend of my life, I couldnt be anymore grateful.

[automatic-overdrive]

Well, it happened, I saw AB again June the third in Tilburg and what can I say? It was awesome. Yes, my little recap is a little late but I also had Gojira on the agenda the next Tuesday, wild week. So yeah as I'm currently suffering in front of a ventilator to bat off the heat, if you do want to hear my thoughts feel free to read further!

I arrived a little bit later at the venue than I originally planned - lets say a good 30 minutes - due to construction and Google maps not knowing what to make of that BUT at last I arrived, about three and a half hours before the doors opened, and there where only about 10 other people in line so lucky me!

I'll fast forward through the boring sitting in line in the sun on the curb turning my ass into mush, though I did get to chat with some amazing people. AB fans are the best. There were about 20 people with VIP tickets, so a spot at the rail was out of the question - also I wanted to get a shirt before the gig started because I would miss my train home if I hung around too long afterwards - but once the doors opened and I secured a tour tee, I managed to land in-between 3/4 row at the front. Sweet! (Thanks great grandfathers who gave me long legs so I could powerwalk as fast as possible. Security didn't want us to run you see.)

Mammoth WVH opened once again and they kicked ass! There were some sound issues during the first few songs, so Wolfie's voice and the guitars were kinda muddled, but that got fixed real quick and it was a great set. The crowd got pretty into it.

Mammoth's setlist;

Mammoth

Mr. Ed

Epiphany

Like a Pastime

Stone

Distance

You're to Blame

Another Celebration at the End of the World

Don't Back Down

You're to Blame was my personal favorite, a real stomper live! And be sure to check out their latest singles if you haven't already.

And then it was happening. The lights dimmed for a second time after waiting around for few and though the majority of the people around me were already in great mood, you could really feel the crowd come to life. Are there going to be more puns in here? Probably because I can't help myself ha.

I stood smack-dab in the middle, with no tall concert goers in front of me, so I had a perfect view when AB took the stage. This would have been the perfect opportunity to take some pictures but me being me, well, I'm always way too swept up in the moment and the music to even think about taking out my phone haha.

Anyhow, here's AB's set list and I'll just go through the moments that stood out to me or I will be rambling for the upcoming hours;

Silver Tongue

Addicted to Pain

Ghost of Days Gone By

Broken Wings

Sin After Sin

Coeur D'Alene

Burn it Down

Cry of Achilles

Watch Over You

In Loving Memory

Blackbird

Come to Life

Stay

Isolation

Metalingus

Encore: Rise Today

Slip to the Void will likely be my most favorite opening song ever, but Silver Tongue is a close second. Just hearing that intro riff alone already hypes me up, followed by Addicted to Pain, if anyone in the venue wasn't paying attention already they sure do then!

(Warning for some flashing) Video by Dany In Flight [x] If I'm correct in my assumption this was the same lady I spoke briefly to while waiting in line, she came all the way from Italy!

Broken Wings was beautiful and hearing Sin After Sin again was a treat. The biggest surprise for me however was hearing Coeur D'Alene. COEUR D'ALENE. Yes, I was aware AB pulled this one out of the box during their US tour, but man I'm so happy they played it in Tilburg as well. ABIII is my favorite AB album so this was very special to me.

Myles took a little break and Mark took over the vocal duties for Burn it Down and he absolutely crushed it. You go Mark 💜

Video by _josdecross [x]

After the amazing Cry of Achilles, it was time to get emotional with a triple kick to the face. I'm not ashamed to say my waters were rising a little when Myles serenaded the crowd with Watch Over You, followed by In Loving Memory and then, of course, Blackbird. Boi, if I ever have kids or grandkids, I will make sure that song gets passed on down because it will never get old. What a masterpiece.

The emotional portion of the concert quickly got pushed aside by the energetic Come to Life, another all time favorite of mine (and the crowd, from what I could hear haha). A fan had requested earlier if AB could play Stay that night, and they did! Which was very sweet.

What followed were the bangers Isolation and of course Metalingus - were we all obediently went down on our knees (I fell over a few times because my legs were pretty fried at that point lol) for the classic "jump up and down like a kangaroo during the breakdown".

We got treated with Rise Today as the encore - chanting "we want more" with the crowd likely doesn't have any effect whatsoever but I like to think that it does haha.

And then it was over. Is there a thing such as post-concert depression? Man those hours went by quick. Picks were thrown out, setlists in the form of paper-planes; the usual mayhem. I'm terrible at catching anything because I'm always afraid I'll get accidentally socked in the face. There did however bounce something off my shoulder, which I assumed was a pick from Brian because a millisecond later the guy standing next to me snatched it from the ground. Better luck next time, but thanks Brian lol. And then the drumsticks were flying and I took cover once more.

Going to concerts is still new territory for me and even though it was only the second time I saw AB live, being a big fan aside, they killed it. What a band. What an amazing, talented bunch of musicians. The crowd was having a blast and AB too seemed to really enjoy and revel in the energy. Even Myles commented at one point "There's always a great vibe when we play here." My voice was gone from loudly singing along to all the songs and I probably slept for about 12 hours the next day.

Compared to the first time I saw them in Amsterdam last year December at the Ziggo Dome, I prefer this gig with the smaller venue. As much as I love that AB gets to play bigger venues in Europe, selfish me wish they could stick to smaller ones like the 013 in Tilburg.

Here's a pic of the fabulous tour tee that I scored;

I've been a fan for over 14 years now and to be able to see my favorite band live two times in the span of only 7 months is crazy lucky to me. If you have the opportunity to see them, do it! You won't regret it.

Thanks AB for the beautiful music and I hope to catch them again on their next album cycle!

[oops-all-concrete]

Not to be unapologetically existential at 04.50AM, but sometimes I genuinely wonder if I'm not introverted at all.

Like, maybe I would genuinely enjoy a group setting with a lot of people, a group setting in public. That I'd enjoy parties and getting dressed up. That I'd love the club scene, the drinking, the friend that brings molly. Sometimes I see drunk friends stumble home together all too loud and wonder, was I made to enjoy that? Am I missing out on wobbling home drunk and passing out with people I met through other people? Other people I get drunk with, get coffee with, do day trips with or go shopping with?

The thought of being in their position while strangers stare and maybe even scoff at the volume and unfiltered laughter makes me want to crawl out of my skin, so I feel like its fair to say I'm an introvert, but there's still some kind of longing sitting just under the surface.

I wonder if I yearn because I'm secretly an extrovert, or because I was never invited to do those things. My parents didn't let me go anywhere on my own until I was like 16/17 but by this time, everyone already had their own friend groups, people they made plans with, had a routine. I was just the friend they went to class with. So when class ended and we all left school, they kept hanging out on the weekends. There was no homework so nobody really texted me, and now I don't know where my best friend of three years is four years since I last saw her.

I'm 20 and I need to hype myself up to leave the house. I'm 20 and no matter where I'm being invited I ask if there's a dress code, who's going to be there and what should I say, can I bring headphones or will people be offended. Have you told them I might leave early because I'm not sure how to make new friends unless were sat next to each other for at least a few hours every week and there's nothing else really to do stressed in social spaces? I'm 20 and these are the questions I ask myself at 04.53AM

I'm young, so, I might figure it out in the coming years. Finally meet people who see me outside of education/work and maybe like knowing me outside of those settings. Bring me places. Tell me about concerts. One of these times I'll say "yeah I'd love to" even though I'm terrified of being in a room of strangers, even if we all like the same music. Maybe people will overlook how obviously unsure and scared I am and invite me back. But, of course, that hasn't happened yet. So in the meantime.

Do I prefer to be on my own because that's just who I am, or am I a stifled extrovert who learned to love my own company because I missed my window to have anybody else's. Am I on my own because I was meant to be, or because it's too late for me to know anything else?

[screamce]

WAAH HIIIIII I was not expecting to get tagged for something like this :O

ALSO WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM YOUR FIRST MOOT RVAGSGAGA IM SO HONORWD AND BAFFLED

Also, that last bit is so ominous I am frightened o.O /silly

Anywaysss sgsgs yeah okie dokie I'll do this silly thing :3

Ermmm five things I love about myself?

1. Uhhh I think my art skills r pretty rad, especially with how fast I can improve if I stay on top of it hehe (literally, I did a side by side with one of my ocs and within like 3 months they looked so good :O

2. I like my face actually a lot :D especially my silly fangs and snaggle tooth >:3

3. Ermmm, I'd say my adaptability, I adapt to new situations pretty well considering my anxiety and I can push through tough situations often when I need to :D

4. Guh I'm running out of things, NO WAIT IM STEALING ONE OF YOURS I like my style! I think I can put an outfit together pretty good! Especially detailed designs/outfits ^^ aesthetic clutter my beloved

5. I know I said face but I meant like.. shape, but I also like my eyes! I think it's so cool I have grey eyes hehe, they are a bit blueish or greenish (rarely) at times bc bro is a mood ring lmao

Guh, things I'm excited for? Well I've already seen tfo sooo (sorgy op, I hope you get to see it soon!!)

1. there's a new transformers game coming out in Oct called TF: galactic trials that I'm really hype for! Would you believe it that this is the first transformers (partial) racing game!!? (Not counting any defunct mobile games, you can't play them anyway)

2. CONCERTS RAAAAHHH, I'm going to see some goobers I love later this year and next year (particular names I'm excited for are Mother Mother, Black Satellite, and 3 doors down. I've already been to some others and I'm keeping an eye on my favorite small venues :3)

3. WINTER!!!! In general, God it's been so hot here I want it to be over </3

4. Earthspark season 2b, 2c, and 2d (if the road map that I saw was correct) PLEASE SAVE THE SERIES IM BEGGING, DON'T LET IT BECOME AWFUL shaking the hasbro executives violently

Secret fifth: ops next post teehee

Oh and 3 people I care about deeply? Hell yeah okie dokie

1: Guh, @theart-ofbacon and co. they know why <3

2: My mom 🗣‼️‼️‼️ literally one of my only family members that supports me LMAO she also is really cool about my art and interests and it makes me go :D (also she went "is that Optimus?" at Starscream once and I'm never letting her live it down /silly)

3: uhhhhhhhhhh man I don't know lmao there are many people who could go here that I all care about around the same amount I suppose I dedicate this spot to my friend group, They're awesome sause even if we don't talk as much as I'd like too, they still mean a lot and I love em, muah <3

Me when I overshare on the internet :3 :3 :3 :3 :3

I don't really have anyone to tag or send this to so imma leave it open

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited for, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone else who makes you smile💕

I’m gonna do them all because I love yapping HEUEHU. I think I already did something similar to the first one but oh well.

1. I loove my art style. It’s fun silly and whimsical.

2. I love my fashion sense. Not as fun silly and whimsical but it’s mine. Idk if I can put myself into a specific category so I just live as a silly guy.

3. I love my eeeyes I think they’re nice. Green blue grey ish lil shits with long lushes lashes you know it.

4. I love my little silly brain that gives me little silly ideas and the capacity to yap forEVER.

5. I love how much I have developed as a person over the past few years. I personally think I have evolved a bit. Like a pokémon. In many ways.

NEEXT

1. I’m excited for TRANSFORMERS: ONE of course. I’m not American so I haven’t had the privilege of watching it yet.

2. Super excited to go to LEGO-LAND with my parents soon (we’re going there as a nostalgia trip since we used to go there all the time when I was a kid…hehe.)

3. I’m excited for the weekend to start so I can draw a bunch oml.

4. I am very excited to graduate here in June. FINALLY!!

Now to people I care about:

1. My best friend of almost 10 years by now. He has stuck with me through my cringe phase and we can literally talk about anything. That’s crazy. He was also my only irl friend in majority of the years.

2. My dad, he always makes sure that I am alright, and understand how proud he and my mom are of me. He a lil’ autistic but I love him anyway.

3. My home-class teacher in the 6th grade because holy fuck I would have actually genuinely not been here today if it was not for her. She was like my personal therapist and got me through so much shit. Praise her.

Now I shall pass it along to @screamce if he wishes to do this as well…xoxo shoutout to my first mutual on this app love this guy. Y’all should check him out btw its blog is SUPER AWSOM!! And so are his ocs…GRRR (Btw I will respond to your ask soon I just want to make something for it ;3 You’ll see. EHEUEHU)

[vlovers19]

je t'accueille,

I appreciate your blog and your opinion so I would like to ask you something. I've been very confused about Vmin for a while (actually about Jimin). I love Vmin but I don't know what to think.

There are moments, very sensitive little things that show me how sweet Vmin relationship is. Those are quiet little things what the two do; the way Taehyung takes Jimin's hand inadvertently, or that sweet "agyo" from Jimin's side. It's all so subtle and real.

I love 4oclock, Promise, Winterbear, Sweet night (that's Vmin, I can find it there)

 But then Jimin goes to the JK. Jimin is almost always with JK, very rarely with Tae or other members. Jimin can be carried on his shoulder, sending him "seductive looks" (which I really can't understand in connection with what Jimin said about JK, namely that Jk is like his younger brothers) The way Jimin does it makes me almost sour; what he is doing this show for, he builds such an "erotic tension" (I don't know how to describe it at all), hangs on Jk's neck, lets himself be carried and his ass is touched by Jk, ears nibble etc etc ... .

Normally that wouldn't bother me at all; I'm not into shippe (I don't take Vmin as a Shipp) and I wouldn't care, but with a connection with Taehyung, I am surprised by Jimin's behavior. It comes and goes! Are months where you hardly notice Jimin and Jk and then it comes back. we see Vmin in love together and then suddenly everything is gone.

I don't understand Taehyung either; why does he stay with Jimin when he sees that Jimin is actually into JK and likes to have fun with him? (or do I just get it wrong?)

So please can you help me in any way? I don't want to give up Vmin ..... Maybe something is what I don't know, maybe I don't understand shipping at all?

I've been in the Army for almost 5 years and until now, due to lack of time (studies), I've only dealt with music. I saw Vmin in Paris at a BTS concert and since then, Vmin is my "everything" ..... "Vmin is mine" .... you understand.

Au revoir

Marie

****************************

Hello Marie! No doubt, this is quite a concern to most shippers but since you are not a shipper as you said so you might not really be versed with Vmin, then it's normal for you to feel confused but this kind of thing shouldn't bother people or cause ship wars.

I think there was a time I wrote a post advising people to enjoy whatever content Vmin was giving us back when they were a unit because it wasn't going to last and I was not wrong. Now, no one's talking about Vmin being soulmates. All they are talking about now is how Jk carried Jimin with his hands on his butt. My eyes nearly fell off but I also clearly remembered this was something Jk also did with Suga in bon voyage but no one seems to remember that because it's Jikook that's doing this.

By the way, this was something that happened quite a long time ago and as we all know, before Friends was released. A lot has changed between Vmin recently.

As for Jimin spending a lot of time with Jungkook, i'm not surprised because I've noticed that Taehyung seemed quite distant from everyone especially in 2018/2019. If we examine the previous Taehyung with the person who he is now, there's little wonder why Jimin would prefer hanging out with Jungkook than with him.

The most puzzling part is why would Big Hit officially show such videos that no doubt seem quite 'gay' especially after the whole hype about Jimin and Taehyung's song soulmate, giving shippers reasons to fight ship wars with each other debating who is more closer than who? Giving antis and solo stans room to attack each other. They showed it all. Why do I think so? Because they are aware it will cause a reaction and things like this keeps people talking about Bts. Almost like they're flashing it right in front of everyone's faces so people notice it. It's like, there's no way you can't notice it. It's right in front of you so no doubt, people are noticing it so well, it's creating tensions on social media and before you know it, it has become a hot topic. Even the ear nibbing thing, Jungkook did with Jimin on stage is something i've noticed Jungkook used to do with Taehyung and some idols have done with each other especially the one where they swallow the other person's shoulder with their whole mouths.

Besides, I'm also quite surprised how they can act like this in front of so many cameras. It's puzzling. In public, Jimin can behave this way with Jungkook yet when in an interview, Bts was asked who he does most of his Aegyo to, the members agreed that it was Taehyung shocking even me because I was asking myself, we see him being cute with JK in cameras all the time yet how come he gets cute the most with Taehyung? Where? How? When does it happen? Proving that most of their moments aren't shown in camera.

The fact that i'm seeing all this Jikook flirtations on camera leaves me with no words. No doubt, it's stirring but it's too into your face and I don't even understand why the editors displayed everything for us to see. It's almost like they are showing the interactions of two of the famous BTS members being lovey dovey on camera. The two of them had quite a lot of screen time together.

It's obvious, it's what a lot of people wanted to see and they have gotten the reaction they expected. Jungkook no doubt gives Jimin the attention he wants whereas Taehyung seems like his head is always in the clouds. Like he's not energetic or has time to spend with Jimin so you can't really blame him.

Despite how active Jikook are, Taehyung was still the one Jimin sang a song with where they called each other soulmates. People heard the song and it was surprising because in public, they didn't seem close enough to call each other that so there was a lot of disbelief.

Taehyung didn't initiate that song, Jimin did and even personally produced it himself. As friends, Jimin naturally should be hanging out more with Taehyung like he used to especially before 2016. But why has the tables turned? Instead of being close, they seem quite distant. I guess you already know what I'm thinking. Something is very fishy somewhere.

However, like I said, this was something that happened quite a while ago and now, it's no secret to us that their relationship wasn't perfect. According to an interview they both had, they still need to work out a lot of things with each other. One moment, they are friends, the next they are enemies so it's not surprising when during such times, they would prefer to hang out with others.

But now, we are seeing a lot of changes. With Taehyung posting things related to Jimin on Social media since last year, things like 95z is love, being more vocal in his admiration for Jimin and so on. Releasing sweet night and scenery which I suspect is about Vmin. Things have definitely changed for the better between them.

However, for the fact that i see Jikook doing all these in front of several cameras doesn't convince me because in my opinion, if they really had something going on, they should be a bit more reserved in their relationship rather than being very public about it where all eyes are watching causing viewers to talk about them and indirectly provoking ship wars.

Jimin likes to show affection, Taehyung doesn't so obviously, their behavior is bound to clash. This little action of theirs in Bts 2019 showed the disparity

From the above, Jimin wanted to hold Taehyung's hand but he was reluctant. Without saying anything, Jimin continued putting out his hand looking quite serious until Taehyung let him hold his hand but in the end, he only let Jimin hold his fore finger.

it looks like they both really aren't on the same page about what to show and what not to show. It's like a confusion. Personally, that's what i think it feels like to have something secretly going on whether it's a secret relationship or having secret feelings.

Anyway, this is my opinion, if i look at Jimin, I see it as him wanting to be close to someone who actually accomodates his flirtations but as for Jk, he would do the same to any other member especially Jin. Jimin wouldn't be an exception. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyway, that's all I can say about this. Nothing else, only that it's really hard to ship Vmin and you need to have a lot of will power and analyze things deeply because if we look at what we see on camera, we are just going to keep on getting confused.

Anyway, have a great day and remember that 95 liners is love and they are soulmates.

[80s-roger]

get down, make love - 70s!Roger x Fem!Reader

D.18: “Don’t cum yet.”

D.24: “You sound as if you like my teasing.”

D.31 “Face down on the bed. Now.”

Note: Ok yall aren’t ready for this one. This is so filthy oh god.

masterlist /// dialogue prompts

words: 1,278

warnings: hand tied, tease, orgasm delay, oral (f receive), protected sex, male dom

summary: Roger is your boyfriend and after discussion, you followed him and his bandmates at the news of the world tour. ngl, you were dying to follow him at the usa tour leg where sex drugs and rock n roll is a way of life. not needed to say all the wild things you both do when you’re alone or with a third person ;) hot sex life. that’s it. now the concert is over and y’all are heading to the hotel. you share the same room with roger and now it’s time to let it all out.

You were waiting for Roger at your king-sized bed wearing absolutely nothing. He was taking a shower for half an hour now. Bathroom, full of steams and you could feel the heat approaching. That door opened and there he was, wearing the hotel's white towel around his waist and the other one, drying his blonde wet hair. At the sight of you being naked, he completely lost it.

"Oh fuck." He gasped and stop drying his hair.

"Come on arrogant boy, seduce and destroy." You provocatively bit your lip and placed your hands on bed's bars.

"This was set up, wasn't it?" He asked laying next to you.

"So what? It's nice planning things." You bit your lip, again. Roger liked watching you horny.

"I think it's better when you have no idea what I'm gonna do." He winked and went trough his luggage reaching for some... fabric.

"Wait, babe, what are you doing?" You curiously asked and stood on the bed.

"Lay down again baby." He smiled and turned back to you, holding a red band of ribbon. At the sight of it, you got wet. Now Roger's boner was visible behind the white towel. "You know you can't play games with me y/n." He winked and grabbed your hands at bed's bedpost tying them tightly.

"What are you going to do now?" you asked highly horny.

"Oh you have no idea. Like most of the times." he joked and placed a kiss on your cheeks, going lower: at your lips, your neck, your chest, then kissing each erected nipple of yours, licking and sucking them gently. "Is it me or your body asks for more?" he asked.

"It's screaming actually." You impatiently gasped.

"Good because I'm gonna torture you with being slow." He smiled and continued kissing you lower and lower.

"Fuck.." you moaned as his face was approaching your lower area, giving soft kisses at your labia. "Start with it already, I hate slow burns!" You loudly moaned and hated the fact you were tied so you wouldn't guide him. Meanwhile, his tongue made soft circles around your clit and that shit sent you to the other world.

"Like that babygirl?" He asked and distanced himself from there.

"Fuck, no, keep going!" You whimpered.

"Hehe... You sound as if you like my teasing." He gently bit your exterior labia and now he inserted two of his wet fingers inside you. "How does it feel babe?" He asked with his now deep voice.

"Do more please..." You begged. "Do it faster." You softly whimpered. He knows you're mostly for fast runs but he's in control so it's hard for you to beat him this time. So if you can't beat him, join him. "Rub my clit." You tried to say with your knees buckling against your

"Oh nope, love. This time I'm the one who's in control." He kissed your lips and then his fingers, came closer to your mouth. "Lick what you taste like." That dirty side of Roger was everything you wanted. You slowly sucked his fingers and now the taste of your liquids was in your mouth.

"Will you fuck me please?" you cried out after your oral receiving and he smiled.

"You want to cum?" He asked, playing around while removing his towel, now seeing his boner fully exposed to you.

"So baaad..." You exhaled with your eyes focused on his dick.

"Not until I say so." He ordered while wearing his condom. "Spread wide those cute legs of yours." He said and you were so ready for the good one. "So as I said, not cumming until I say so. Keep yourself together, love it's gonna be a slow-burning one."

"Ah stop being such an asshole, I can't control myself!" You nagged about it and he laughed.

"You will this time or you'll be punished." He laid down on you, placing a kiss on your lips and stood back on his knees ready to penetrate you.

His penis was slowly inserting inside you while his beat was smooth and slow as if it was your first time. The need to come already because of the sexiness he's radiating is huge but he prohibited that. Fuck. His face expression could be seen from the low lighting; he seemed to like it a lot, would say loved going at that pace. His soft moans while his hands were grabbing your waist added to the pleasure waves which were peacefully hitting you. "I think it's good switching dominance from time to time, hm?" He softly leaned on you, giving you a kiss.

"Fuck yes, but the other one?" You asked wanting for the fast pace. "Be dominant, please..." you bit your lip. "I won't cum until you say..." You whimpered but deep inside you wanted it so bad. Roger seemed to consider it. The next thing would be fair for both. Fulfilling both's sexual preferences.

"Fine." He removed himself from you and now his hands moved to yours, releasing them from the red fabric. "You're gonna have to grab those bars." He said and that got you fully hyped for what was happening next.

"Be specific." You told waiting for his next word.

"Face down on the bed. Now." Okay, that was hot. These dirty words of him got your already wet pussy, soaking even more. You did as you were said from him and now your hands were wrapped around bed's bars. "You want it fast and I want to have the upper hand so it's gonna be fair." He softly moaned as you assumed the position. "Ready for round three? As I said, no cumming." He warned again.

"Yes, I'm ready." You prepared yourself and now you could feel his hands grabbing your lower waist, reaching for your entrance once again. You felt his pelvis touching your butt and now his penis would penetrate your wet vagina smoothly because of the wetness down there. "Ah fuck-" you gasped at the depth of his size inside you. It was filling you up entirely and it was amazing. The tempo was the way you wanted it. Fast. And Roger seemed to enjoy it too as long as you could hear him moaning.

"How does it feel love?" He said as he thrust in and out multiple times.

"Ah, it's so good Rog." You moaned at your pillow, feeling the orgasm approaching. He felt your walls tightening and heard him saying "Don't cum yet." That was torture. You had to let it out but you couldn't. It was a deal. "Babe my legs are shaking." You whimpered.

"Just a little, please, hold it." You heard his voice going deep, like his thrusts. His body now was exactly on top of yours. There you were, in his mercy, feeling his fierce character taking over your soul and it made you feel super safe beneath him. His right hand, travelled through your front area, reaching your clit and you made it easier for him, lifting your pelvis backwards and his dick still inside you. "Love do you want to cum now?" He whispered in your ear lobe feeling ready now to explode from pleasure.

"Yes, so bad..." You whimpered. Now his fingers were fastly rubbing your clit allowing you to reach your climax and his.

"Cum for me babe." He whispered again and his last thrusts were the slowest but the deepest ones.

"Ah fuck..." You exhaled letting all the buzz go. And now you were free from his demands. It was perfect like all the other times. "Fuck Roger. That was hot as hell." You fixed your messed hair as your man walked through the bathroom to get rid of the used condom.

"Have to agree on that baby." His voice echoed through the bedroom. "You should be unpredictable more." He laughed and so did you.

[shvdowze-blog]

KSHMR is yet another artist I've followed from his early days up until now. There was a time in my life when I was really into the whole EDM scene and KSHMR's music was definitely a standout. I think that the EDM scene is one of the toughest scenes to break into because of how almost every song pretty much sounds like every other song. Now, this is not me being ignorant towards the genre as I'd like to think that I'm pretty well informed about the subgenres and cultres within the scene but it's hard to argue that the genre has become very oversaturated over the years.

Enter KSHMR, an artist that has been rather well established as a producer/rapper who was then part of a duo called "The Cataracs". Back then, they produced some of my favorite tracks for a lot of different artists and they were literally killing it. However, one thing that we can all agree on is that these songs were pretty much throwaway party songs with little to no depth in the messages behind each track. Yes, they were fun to listen to when you're having a good time and that was it - there was nothing beyond that.

I was actively following The Cataracs' body of work as they pumped out hit after hit for about 2 - 3 years and then suddenly, they simply stopped. I couldn't find a latest release by them and I think the last I've heard a song by the duo was on Enrique Iglesias' "Heart Attack" in 2014 where they handled the production of the song. Meanwhile over at the EDM world, a song called "Tsunami" by DVBBS and Borgeous was blowing up and became all the hype for a few months - heck they still play that song today in some clubs I've been to. The song was a huge success and put the two rather new producers as on the map as the next big thing in dance music.

However, rumors began to flood the internet about how the song was never made by them but ghost produced by someone else. I don't know how accurate this is because again, this is the internet and not everything you read on the internet is set in stone - if that were the case, then Jackie Chan is literally Jesus Christ having died and resurrected over and over again. The people became curious, I became curious and was intrigued about the idea that someone could literally make a living off making full fledged songs but never have his name on it. Due my morbid curiosity, I dug deeper into the realm of ghost producers and discovered the infamous Maarten Vorwerk and a few others. I loved it.

Digging a little further, I stumbled upon this new producer that has been making some noise in the scene. A fresh face that apparently has been ghost producing for the longest time and goes by "KSHMR". I remember being one of the first few hundred people to like the KSHMR page on Facebook and he would pump out these tracks and give them away for free, and he was consistently doing that for months. These songs were not half-assed either, they were legitimately good bangers. Songs like "Dogs", "Baila!" and "Leviathan" were are the hype and there was always this mystery behind the artist. Nobody knew who this KSHMR was, nobody knew what he looked like, heck nobody even knew if it was even a 'he'!

This producer without a face was just making these incredible songs and he was pumping them out so fast that you would definitely miss a few tracks if you weren't following close enough - and you wanted to! His single "Burn" was simultaneously released on THREE major EDM labels. The track was on Ultra, Spinnin and Revealed Recordings - how is a new artist doing that? There had been a lot of news circling around this one artist, people were trying to unmask the man and they were doing their best trying to find out who he was. And most of these news were headed towards the same direction - they all pointed out that it very well may be Niles Hollowel-Dhar (one half of The Cataracs) but there was still this sense of uncertainty.

In 2015, KSHMR released arguably one the biggest songs of that year, "Secrets" with EDM veteran Tiësto. Once again, reminding you that this is a very new producer and he's already working with some of the top names in dance music. This song was absolutely massive, the people went wild went it came on in clubs and concerts and everything about the track felt as it couldn't be done by a newcomer - there was just no way. Later that year at Ultra Music (one of the biggest festivals in the world), Tiësto would go on to perform "Secrets" at his set during which he had a surprise for the entire world. As he was playing the track and getting close to the drop, he brought out the mysterious KSHMR on stage (I'm getting goosebumps as I'm typing this) and everybody, literally everybody went nuts.

This would be the first time ever that the world would see KSHMR and indeed, the rumors were true, it was Niles from The Cataracs. I couldn't contain myself when I saw the reveal on the live stream, I was stoked. All this time I've been wanting new music from The Cataracs and here he was cooking something entirely different from his usual catalogue but still manage to pull through. KSHMR would go on to become EDM's darling, earning himself a favorite spot amongst a vast majority of EDM fans around the world. Over the years, he chose to take his music back to his roots and incorporated some Indian themes and elements into his music and it's still surprisingly really good. KSHMR has inspired me follow my heart and do what feels right, I also read in an article that Niles always wanted to do KSHMR-styled music for a long time but didn't know until he just did it. I feel like most people get stuck in a box because they listen to what others think they should do instead of listening to themselves and do what feels right. All it takes is for you to let go and just start.

[mataactrishaanne]

Uncertain.

Writing Activity #1 - Autobiography

With some faith and too much uncertainty, with fragile smiles, a soft voice and eyes always looking out to wonder. I believed myself to be a recipe for destruction, I, Trisha Anne M. Mataac will be someone to be pushed around, to be passed by, to be easily forgotten.

And in some parts of my life, I was.

My mother have always described me as someone that was too excited for life to come.

Literally.

On the day of my birth, March 12th of 2001, she claims that she had no pain in labor, she decribed to me that I just slipped out of her and tadaaa! I was born.

Since then I have always been too excited to experience life. I have always questioned, wondered, opened my mouth to speak. I have probably been told to be quiet by my mother for a million times when I was a kid.

I was talkative because I have always wanted to talk about my future. The countless ambitions that I wanted to pursue. I saw life as an endless journey, a wonderful ride and at the early age of 6, I already thought that I was ready for whatever life had to offer me.

But now, at the age of 18... I'm not so sure about it anymore.

My childhood was as colorful as you can imagine. I was the product of a skinny kid that was quiet and gentle, always careful, but always firm as well. And a little girl, a responsible child of her mother. Working hard, striving to be the best that she can be. These were my parents. A mixture of different characteristics that have worked their way into becoming the best parents to their four noisy, clumsy, but very grateful kids.

My family has and will always be a big of my life. They helped create the childhood that I will never forget. Making tents out of blankets, taking care of small plants, collecting seashells, pretending to know how to do laundry, learning how to sing and dance, because of the fun of having a lot of siblings, I used to proudly declare that I shall have 10 kids when I grow up.

(but, after learning about the pains of childbirth... I'm not looking forward to give birth to 10 kids anymore, maybe a small number would be enough)

I grew up in a big household, together with my cousins, my aunts and my grandparents. Everyday was an adventure of which Tita would bring me to go shopping with them, which cousin would play with my dolls or which grandparent am I gonna annoy into buying me candy.

Life was swell.

I used to dance to old OPM music, the upbeat songs ringing in my ears. How I felt the rhythm and how it made me move and wiggle and glide across the room. How I tried to mumble the lyrics as the song gets louder and louder, how my extended family would watch me perform a live concert with nothing but a broomstick for a microphone.

I would never forget the laughs, the small parties, the karaoke which made me feel as rich as royalty whenever my Titas would give me aguinaldo when I sang songs.

I have kept these memories for it built a happy and grateful kid, which I was.

Now, the only thing I can do is look back and smile at the sight of those memories.

Because things doesn't always stay as it is.

This was me,

before growing up and forgetting who I was.

When I was little, every summer vacation, I would pack up my things and get hyped up to go to my great grandmother's house in Zambales. She would always bring me to church early in the morning. Then we would pass by her office, a small room with a home-y vibe. Outside there are pots with plants that we would water every morning. Inside, there is my grandma's desk where she talks to senior citizens and their concerns. There is also a small compartment with teacups and plates whenever we wanted to buy kakanin or drink hot chocolate. Her office was my playroom in the morning and when work was over, it was time to head to the seashore.

I had quite an adventure with her, but now my great grandmother had passed and the only thing I could do is to walk by her old office.

Then, walk a little further to see the seaside she'd take me to, remember how she watched as I gathered the seashells by the shore. How I'd giggle whenever I felt the cold water tickle my toes. Those times wherein I'd look back at her and smile as I proudly show her all the seashells I have collected.

Now, whenever I walk to the shore, I still feel a small giggle as I dip my toes on the water. I feel the gentle push of the wind, I feel the warm and soft touch of the sand.

Things are not the same anymore.

I had an amazing childhood. Back home cousins and aunts were waiting for me. During the summer, I see my great grandmother waking me up early to go to church.

But now I walk alone. Back home, there are no more cousins, no more aunts waiting for me for they live far away now. During the summer, my grandma is not there anymore to watch over me as I gather my seashells.

Times have changed.

And I have as well.

I used to talk, non-stop. Always being curious, always thinking, speaking, expressing.

But that was before.

The marks and scars of broken friendships and things that I shouldn’t have said created a girl who was too careful, too afraid to use words. I have began to doubt myself and my capability to say something. And as the years passed, I forgot how I once had the courage to open my mouth, to speak.

Which maybe explains why I am a quiet person now. Why I would rather sit with a group of friends and just listen to them. I have had this idea that my words might cause hurt, that I am a clumsy person when it comes to building my thoughts through words.

But despite the fear of speaking, I still craved to wonder, to question, to discover. Which is what I spent most of my time with. I read, I learned, I listened as I quietly kept the questions wandering inside my head all to myself.

In times that I feel that there was too many thoughts to keep, I wrote. And in writing, I let go of my thoughts. I let my words fit together and create something better.

In 8th grade, I wrote the first poem that I created for myself. The poem was sad and was lacking of hope, but I was proud of it. It contained the pains of my past and up until now I still flip through the pages to see that poem. A piece of literature that dried out my tears, something that served as my comfort.

I started to write as a sad 8th grader who had no hopes of a great future ahead of her.

Years later and here I am. I have developed into my own kind of uncertainty. I am mixture of quiet and outspoken. A combination of sure, but not quite sure. I am too much careful now. But that would never stop the gleaming eyes of a girl that helplessly wonders.

I am now 18 years old. I have experienced a lot but not too much to feel that I have already felt life as it is. I have much more to endure and I have nothing to protect me but my battlescars. My shield is my poetry, my sword is my spirit and my armor is the people that I love the most.

It’s funny to imagine,

that I was once that 5 year old girl with the idea of collecting seashells to create a handmade purse for her great grandmother.

And I am now that same girl with the idea of reconstructing social perspectives to drive people to have a change of view.

I strive to be a sociologist, working my way into understanding the complexity and uncertainties of social behavior.

I never stopped trying to question. I learned to help myself grow and be able to answer the very questions that I’ve been asking to the wrong people. I continue to question, and I continue to seek the answers by myself.

I am now a girl with ambition.

I have stopped to be too excited about life. Instead, I let life come at me. I may be too uncertain about the things that will happen. But I know that I have been hurt, I have been pushed, and I have been happy. I know that my pains would produce good literature, great stories to tell, great experiences to look back to.

That is why I embrace life as of the moment. Because you never know when it will shift and your life is changed.

I live to wonder what it’s like to still be here tomorrow, to be here till next year, till the next 10 years.

I live to wonder…

if today has gone badly, who knows what tomorrow might bring?

And that is the reason why I strive and be motivated to wake up the next morning because I am thrilled for what life has to offer as a new day slowly begins.

As my story continues…

[wordsonyourknuckles]

Boston Manor // Flowers In Your Dustbin

I need to talk about Boston Manor on here now too. I've discovered their music right before they dropped Welcome To The Neighbourhood back in September 2018 and my love for their music has grown enormously ever since. With the release of their new album, they spoke to me even more than they already did with their previous record Be Nothing and their older songs in general. I started feeling a very special connection to their music, which made me even happier when I heard the news that my favourite band Good Charlotte were going to take them on their European leg of the Generation Rx tour. I haven't got the chance to experience them live before the 13th of February this year. I was so damn happy to finally be able to see them for the very first time ever since I've fallen in love with their style and their music and I was - very - hyped during the last days before the concert. All of a sudden, the gig day was finally there and what can I say? Boston Manor played right after The Dose (which were fucking great) finished their set and I literally couldn't believe that this was actually happening. I was actually seeing the band perform right in front of me (we were lucky enough to get barricade spots), that, along with some other of my favourite bands, saved my days for the past months with their music. They fucking nailed it. I'm a bit sad that the crowd was literally dead and standing in the pit like statues, but I was still partying my ass off in the corner and sang along to every song. No one could've taken this away from me. I literally had the time of my life that night and got to enjoy one of the most perfect days and one of the best, if not the best concert I've ever been to. Boston Manor grew to be my second favourite band next to Good Charlotte, which is a point that pretty much no other band has ever been able to reach in my life. I'm so thankful for everything they do and especially for those freaking amazing songs they serve. And after finally seeing them live, I can officially say from my own perspective that their live shows are NUTS. They gave their all on stage to play a show that has literally been on fire.

After their set ended and Sleeping With Sirens and Good Charlotte had played their sets, Boston Manor were chilling at their merch to talk to fans and take some photos. Eventhough I'm usually a very shy and quiet person who has troubles walking up to people, I didn't even recognise myself anymore that night. I walked up to Mike and just started talking to him. He was very kind and sweet and thanked me a lot. He asked me where I'm from and how I got to the show, where I'm staying and told me to get home safely later. We both agreed on the fact that it sucked how the crowd was pretty much dead and not moving at all during their set, but I told him that there were also people like me in the pit that freaking love their music and totally enjoyed their show. After that, Ash also asked how I was feeling and thanked me for coming to the show. Mike then asked me whether I wanted to take a photo. Sadly, Henry and Jordan weren't there at the time, but it was lovely to meet Ash, Mike and Dan and to be able to talk to them and thank them personally. I even got to hug all three of them.

Eventhough it's been almost two weeks now since I saw them and Good Charlotte in Berlin, I'm still the happiest and I still feel so damn alive from that night. It truly meant the world to me.

Thanks to Boston Manor for e v e r y t h i n g. I can't wait to see them on their next headline tour. 🖤

[red-era-swiftie]

I'm begging you all, please please reblog and tag Taylor in this

It just hit me that Taylor’s been with me for over ten years. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown in those years and how much I owe to her. ~ I was eight when “Taylor Swift” came out. I had just started school, and I was happy, as most eight year olds would be. I listened to it so much even though I couldn’t relate to many songs at all. I loved Our Song. I would always put on the southern accent whenever I would sing it, I loved that song SO much. I would listen to “Taylor Swift” on repeat for days on end. ~ I was ten when “Fearless” was released. I bought it the weekend after it came out. I remember loving The Best Day soo much. I think that would have to be the first song I ever really connected to. I was bullied in primary school (elementary for you Americans) and the only person who helped me through it was my mum. She always made me happy, especially after coming home from school everyday. The Best Day and Change were my anthems all through school. No matter what I went through, I felt for the first that Taylor was with me through it all. ~ “Speak Now” came out when I was twelve. I was in my final year of primary school. I was probably the happiest I had ever been. I was a school leader, I moved up to a higher level in my dance classes and I had more friends than ever. My life was really starting to look up, so I thought. I felt so connected with Taylor that year too. I would have “Speak Now” on repeat what seemed like every day after school. Mine, Sparks Fly and Speak Now were my anthems for a good year. Not because I was dating anyone, but because they were happy, like me. When I was thirteen, I started high school. I went from knowing everyone by name to knowing no-one. None of my primary school friends went to the same high school as I did. I went from a school with a total of 200 kids to a school with over 1,000. It was hard. It was stressful. It was awful. I was relentlessly bullied that year. I didn’t fit in with many people in my year at all. I went from having over 15 friends at school to only being able to count them all on one hand. I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t cool and I wasn’t missed when I’d miss a day. That year was hard for me. I went from being happy to being so distressed all the time. Taylor would always make me happy. I discovered a new side to me that year. I listened to Dear John every day after school. It worked for me, it was a good song for me to cry too. I also rediscovered “Fearless” that year. Change became my favourite song. It spoke to me on a level I’d never be able to explain. I also loved Long Live. In 2011 I had already loved Taylor for five years, which seems like a long time when you’re thirteen! I promised Taylor I would never leave her, because she’d never left me. ~ In 2012 the album I needed more than I knew came out. “Red” was the thing I needed to keep going. To push on. I was fourteen and life was awful that year. The bullying got so out of hand that I had to move schools. The only good thing that happened that year was that I rekindled with my old primary school friends at my new school. I didn’t think at fifteen that life could get any worse. In early 2013 I became really ill. It seemed as though I was sick every week, which as a result made me fall behind in my school work and miss regular classes. The doctor finally did a blood and discovered I had CMV. Basically, it’s the same thing as glandular fever. I was constantly tired, and my muscles ached really bad non-stop for three months. It was so bad that I couldn’t continue my studies for a whole term at school. I had CMV on and off for over eight months. In August 2013, after most of my symptoms had gone I continued experiencing chronic fatigue and achey muscles. The doctor referred me onto a pain specialist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. It means chronic fatigue plus pain everywhere. I had a slightly different case to most people as my pain is a constant 9.5/10. No matter what I did nothing made the pain worse… or better. I thought about giving up on more times than not, but Taylor saved me, Red saved me. I’ve never been so low in my life but I got through it all thanks to my best friend Taylor and Red. They both got me through so much. I had missed so much school that I had to be pulled out and study at home via distance education. That was the start of it all. ~ On December 14th 2013 I attended my first Taylor Swift concert. After eight years of loving her I couldn’t conprehend how lucky I was to be able to see her live for the first time. My older sister took me (even though she’s told me repeatedly she doesn’t like Taylor. How?!?!) In the bathrooms before the show started I had a breakdown. I’m absolutely terrified of guns and bombs and was petrified of something happening during the show. Once Taylor came out, all my worries/anxieties/problems disappeared. Literally. The next two hours were the best two hours of my life. I didn’t stop dancing or singing or screaming out of happiness until the show ended. Even after the show ended I was soo happy and filled with so much adrenaline. I hardly slept that night because I couldn’t believe I just witnessed the girl I’ve loved since I was eight, live on stage doing what she loves. ~ From that day forward I promised myself I would never stop loving Taylor, because she’s given me so much happiness of which I wish to give back to her as many times as I can. ~ The following October, “1989” was released. I don’t think I had ever been that excited for an album ever, apart from Red because that was announced and released at the perfect time. The day “1989” came out I was at a very important dance competition, so despite trying, I couldn’t miss it and stay home and just soak in all of “1989.” My dad has always loved Taylor. He loves that she makes me happy and loves how much I love her, he also knows how great a role model she is. As I was travelling to the competition the “1989” album release day, despite me already having preordered multiple copies of it, he offered to go down to the local CD store as soon as they opened to buy me another copy of it. He was at the store before they opened, and when they opened he was the first customer in the store. He knew straight away where to find it and bought the very first copy of 1989 that store sold. When I got home from the competition (we placed second in two items in case you’re interested, one of which I had a featured role in) I went straight to my room where all my brand new 1989 cd’s were and put one on straight away. I spent the rest of the day listening to it non stop for over six hours. Just over a year later I began the greatest weekend of my life to date. I was lucky enough to get tickets to the final two shows of the 1989 World Tour, in Melbourne. Even though I didn’t have tickets to the first Melbourne show, I decided to go in anyway as my friends were there and I really wanted to see them all get so hyped before the show. We had a little picnic and heard Taylor sound check Red. (at this point you should know how much that means to me) The next day I went in early whilst my sister was at school so I could be closer to my favourite people in the world. My friends and Taylor. Later that afternoon my aunty and sister arrived for the show. I’ve never been as happy as I was in that moment. I’ve never been able to describe it but Taylor’s Clean speech that night really resonated with me. She has this magical power that makes you feel like it’s just you and her there. Like it’s just you two talking as friends rather than in a stadium full of 30,000 people. I did not stop screaming and crying and dancing that whole night. Then she played “Fifteen” for her surprise song. I screamed so loud because it took me back to 2013, when I was fifteen. It’s actually magical because when I went to the Red Tour she played it, I was fifteen and then at 1989 when she played it my sister was fifteen. The second night was even better. (I didn’t know it was possible) My sister and I had seats in section D on the floor directly in front of the catwalk. That night was much like the first in the sense that I didn’t stop crying or dancing the entire night. That Clean speech resonated with me so much as well, just because of the point I was at in my life. Then it was time for the “surprise” song if you will. From the first guitar chord she played I knew it was Long Live. I immediately dropped to the floor and started crying like I’ve never cried before. I screamed every single word of it SO loud, because that’s our anthem. I’ve never ever been that happy, ever. I haven’t been anywhere near that happy since then, and I never will until I meet Taylor one day. ~ That next January everything went down hill again. I had to stop my dance classes and stop studying via distance even. My pain and fatigue had never been more dominant and I was constantly in a world of pain. Nothing at all has changed since then. My stamina has severely declined and I can no longer go on shopping trips with friends or even go take a walk with my dog at the local park. ~ I had my 19th birthday just under a month ago and I spent the day watching Journey to Fearless and the Speak Now World Tour live with one of my closest friends then had a night out with my family for dinner. That birthday means so much to me because I was surrounded by (most of) the people I love the most. Today I’m barely getting by. I’ve never been lower emotionally and never been in so much pain or so tired. I’m so emotionally and physically drained and I’m struggling to find things that make me smile everyday. I’ve never needed Taylor more than I do today which also makes me more thankful for her each and every day. She’s probably the only reason I’m still here today and I’ll never be able to ever thank her enough for that. She’s my best friend, my life, my love and I hope more than anything that one day I get to meet her in person. I hope so much I get to thank her for absolutely everything. Tied Together With A Smile from her debut album “Taylor Swift” is the only song I’ve had on repeat recently in my head recently. Because that’s my life. There’s this quote I’ve had as my lock screen the past year, “one day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.” Everything in me believes that will be the case when I meet Taylor, because I feel like she’s the only person who’s always been there for me, no matter what. ~ As I had to leave school, I eventually drifted away from all my friends there. I don’t speak to any of them anymore. The only friends I have now are those I’ve met online because of Taylor. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here today which is yet another thing I have Taylor to thank for. Taylor Swift is the only reason I am still here today, and I really hope I get to thank her and hug her in person someday. @taylorswift

[armory-rasa]

Hello Gabriel! First of all, I want to say I really love your work! It's really inspiring and detailed! I wanted to ask how you set up your own business, because it seems really hard to start working and then actually get costumers. Did you make a portfolio, or was it word of mouth? I don't know if you've written about this before, so sorry if I'm just asking again. :)

Short answer: lol, I started my own business because I’m really bad at convincing people to hire me.

Long answer: STRAP IN! (This is probably more backstory than you wanted, but I promise I’ll have some advice about the how-to at the end)

So I mentioned that the first leatherworking I did was for the Hawke cosplay, and that came out reasonably well. Then a friend of mine was like, “Hey, you should use your skillz make me some leather handcuffs” and I was like, Hokay. So when people ask “How’d you get started selling kink gear?” my smartass answer is “Because D-rings come in packs of ten not packs of two.” I made a pair for my friend…. and then made four more pairs, because else what was I going to do with D-rings? And then I made an Etsy store and put them up for sale, because what use had I for four pairs of handcuffs?

…and people bought them. o_O I was like, Can you guys not see that I have sold ZERO things before? Why do you trust me to actually deliver the goods? What makes you think I have ANY idea what I’m doing??

So that was a thing that was going on in the background – I added a basic collar to my inventory and started making them in colors that you don’t normally see kink gear in, which a lot of people quite liked, and it was a nice bit of side cash, enough that the hobby was paying for itself.

Then my lawyer (who was not at that time a lawyer) moved out to California for law school and she was like “You should come to California with me, because it’s better than Texas” and I was like, Hokay. And everyone was telling me, Ohhhh, but the job market in California is so bad!, and I was like, Nah, I’ll be fine, yo.

…Aha... ahaha, about that. I wound up in a totally above-board but very sketchy-sounding arrangement with one of her professors in which my official job title was “houseboy.” We met at a gay bar called Headhunters where he was like–

The professor: “So what do you do?” Me: “I’m looking for a job.”The professor: “I’m looking for someone to clean my hot tub! I’ll start you at $12/hr.”Me: “Hokay.”

So between running his odd jobs and the money I was making selling kink gear (about $2000 over the course of that first year), I was keeping myself afloat.

Then The Hobbit happened.

I saw the posters, thought Kili was hot, decided to take a stab at his bracers. I finished the first one just before we left to go see the movie, tossed it up in the shop – and it sold before we even got out of the movie.

That was when the floodgates opened and practically overnight, leatherworking went from being a sideline gig to being my fulltime job. (To wit: I made $250 in December 2012 and *$3,500* in January 2013. That’s more money in one month than I’d made doing leatherworking the entire previous year.) People were buying Kili bracers by the dozen, and flooding me with inquiries asking, Can you do Fili’s bracers? Can you do Thorin’s bracers? Can you do Thorin’s belt? Can you do Kili’s quiver? Can you do Legolas’s bracers?

And I was like, Hokay. (The professor was bemused, and only slightly grumpy at how I suddenly had less time for him.)

Granted, that kind of boom doesn’t last, as I would learn subsequently. There’s a rush of interest when something is new, but nothing sustains that level of demand forever. I got really lucky because I happened to jump onto the Hobbit bandwagon right as it was kicking off, so my bracers were out there first, the first thing people saw when they went googling for Hobbit cosplay. Relatively few other costumers ever even bothered to make the pieces that would be competing with mine, since I’d already done them, and done them very well, (and was doing it really cheap since I didn’t know the value of my labor then), so for a while I was about the only game in town when it came to dwarf leatherworking.

Dwarf costumes kept me fed for about six months before interest started to wane, by which point I’d diversified into MCU Loki armor too. That’s been the story of my business since – keeping an eye out for new fandoms with cool costumes that are in my skillset, and being on the ball about getting them done and posted as early as possible. I cannot overstate the advantage of being the *first* one to do a costume, because there are few fandoms that have truly long-term staying power, so you have to be there when the hype is highest. (Dragon Age, Zelda, Star Wars, etc, have a core of dedicated fans who will cosplay it until their dying day, but those are low-volume markets. My Dragon Age items are not my highest sellers, they are my labors of love.)

I often start with making a small, inexpensive item from a fandom, just enough to put me on the radar when people start googling for their cosplay – like a hook to reel them in. Customers will frequently ask if you can do other pieces from the same costume or the same universe (I started with the Wonder Woman tiara, and built the rest of the set as people asked for it; likewise, the Aquaman armor grew out of a single bracer; people who have seen my Loki stuff have commissioned Enchantress and Scarlet Witch), but they won’t usually ask a Lord of the Rings leatherworker if you can do stuff from, say, Game of Thrones. (Even though I totally could if anyone ever asked for it.)

I will say that specializing in cosplay puts you at the mercy of whatever’s trending, and the lulls between fandom booms can be deadly – when your income suddenly drops from a couple thousand dollars a month to a couple hundred, you best hope you’ve got enough of a cushion to ride that out until the next boom comes along. The more fandoms you’re in, the more diverse your portfolio, the less hard those bust cycles will hit you.

My shop pretty much is my portfolio, because I don’t take anything down (except when I stopped selling kink gear) even after interest is long gone, since it still showcases the styles and techniques I can do. I have a deviantArt with my stuff, mainly because I’ve found that dA – for whatever reason – indexes in google image search faster and higher than any other social media platform. It wasn’t until about this time last year that I finally got a facebook and started making a more concerted effort to maintain a social media presence and promote my business. It’s… coming along. I’m slightly better at remembering to post these days. >_>

I think it’s less about word of mouth than about whether people can find you when they’re googling. (~Search engine optimization~ or whatever.) There are tricks you can do to get yourself ranked higher, but I’ve never tried any of that stuff, just made sure that my listings, etc, are tagged with the right keywords to get picked up when potential customers go googling.

It is hard work (I work… a lot….) but it’s also a lot of fun – there is no job I would rather be doing, and I consider myself very lucky that I’ve been able to turn my passion into my career. (Which is like the most cliched thing to say, but it’s true – there are Etsy sellers who would KILL to be able to quit their day job and focus on their hobby full-time, so I’m aware that I’ve been quite fortunate.)

Anyway. I hope you enjoyed the novel I wrote for you. :D