#I'm allowed to be autistic about this game forever. okay?

[biocrafthero]

"Kaun what's this 'ANATOMY' game you keep talking about it?" Glad you asked!

(Screenshot taken from the game's itch.io page)

ANATOMY is a game by developer Kitty Horrorshow, released in 2016 on itch.io. The game is one of her most popular to date, and as someone who has played it multiple times, I can attest to the horror factor.

The game takes inspiration from The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. ANATOMY's gameplay and story mainly focuses on what could be described as a walking simulator. You go around a dark house collecting tapes and putting them in a player to listen to. Over the course of gameplay, the house begins to break down, the game even closing itself on you multiple times. Yet, you keep returning to the house, looking for more.

There are five different "endings" that lead up to the final monologue—I refer to these endings as the "stomach," "maze," "lake," "street," and "neighborhood" endings. There's nothing you can do to actually select which one you get, you're simply put in one at random. You'll know which one you've gotten when you see it, is all I can really say.

The game is available for purchase on itch.io for only $3 USD, and I highly recommend it. Once again, it is a very scary game—many essayists and reviewers have said it is the scariest game they have ever played, a statement I find myself agreeing with.

Here's a no-commentary playthrough of the game if you are unable to buy it:

If you'd rather have a YouTuber at your side to help calm you down, Markiplier also has a full playthrough of the game:

And yes, this game is what that comic I posted back in October is based off of.

You've probably seen this game around the video essay side of YouTube as well. I haven't watched many, but this one from Jacob Geller is very good:

Some stories like it, aside from the one that inspired it, are talked about in the aforementioned video essay as well; House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski and Control by Remedy Entertainment. Creator qrowscant also has an interactive fiction story on itch.io inspired by ANATOMY named Childhood Homes (and why we hate them) that is absolutely phenomenal.

So, yeah. You should go play ANATOMY.

(Screenshot taken by me)

[anexperimentallife]

So we had to report someone after they posted a picture of El and me along with a long, totally unhinged (and wildly inaccurate) rant, @'d @thesurestthing and me, and sent dms to both of us, both the post and dms being about what horrible people we all are, how disabled people are just lazy, how anyone who has to ask for help after being hit with too many unexpected emergencies in a row is a terrible lazy person, that interracial relationships are bad, how I'm going to die soon, etc...

Oh, and how they they HOPE Zoey and El suffer for the rest of their lives after I'm gone, and how Zoey will be begging for help forever because she's useless.

So... Monday here.

Also, they claim Zoey is just my girlfriend (she's my wife), they didn't know she's from the US, and opine that it's my fault my youngest son died in his twenties of pneumonia (which according to them he did to himself--while I was a thousand miles away--but it's somehow still my fault) and my fault that my older son shot himself after refusing attempt after attempt from myself and others to get him to accept help for his bipolar disorder. So yeah, thanks for using the deaths of my sons to attack me. Shows a lot of class.

Also, they claim Zoey is a terrible mother, has no drive, and no skills (despite her being an excellent mother, earning a college degree while she was still in high school, and despite ONE of the reasons we're going back--in addition to me needing medical treatment--being for her to work and get a higher degree), and apparently we should both be working here even though we're not legally allowed to (because, again, disabled people are just lazy and we should also risk imprisonment, because THAT would be responsible)?

Somehow, they're also very concerned for Zoey and El despite outright saying they HOPE El and Zoey suffer?

Just completely off the rails, unhinged ranting.

They didn't even get the timeline right. I was autistic with ADHD and head and spine injuries before we found out (during the Philippines STRICT lockdown) that we were having a baby, and at that point I'd just gotten contracted for the licensing fee, which we had every reason to believe (based on the longevity of the company's other properties) that it would gp on for basically as long as I was game m--so it LOOKED like smooth sailing ahead. (That contract was the only reason we stopped being so careful to avoid pregnancy, too.)

So yes, I was disabled when we got pregnant with El, but in a stable way at that point. It wasn't until AFTER we found out about the pregnancy that I got covid three times that my health started scarily declining. THAT was when all the scary stuff with my eye and heart and feet and face started. But apparently we're horrible for... not knowing that was going to happen?

Thing is, if the company that was paying me a licensing fee to turn my first-sold story into a game hadn't canceled the project one year in with zero notice (while we were still paying for El's birth), if El hadn't had a mistake on her birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years to resolve, and if I hadn't gotten COVID three times, we'd be okay financially. We wouldn't have had to ask for help with El's legal stuff or my medical bills, and we wouldn't have to be asking for help now.

Of course, we're the only people they follow, and that's their only post, so they obviously made the blog just for this purpose. I think I know who it is, but I can't prove it, so oh, well. Took screen shots in case receipts are needed later, but since it's obviously a throwaway account, it would be pointless to @ them here.

(Oh, apparently we're also bad people for being... liberals? LOL We're leftists, man. Liberals are more conservative than we are.)

Like I said, pretty sure I know who it is, and they probably hate-follow us from another account anyway, but, y'know, they're too cowardly to show themselves. So hi. Go to therapy.

Yeah. Fun stuff.

Anyway, if you'd like to help us all get back to the US so I can use my benefits to get the medical treatment I need (which, again, is needed as a result of me getting covid 3X AFTER we found out we were having El), please see my pinned post.

[music-oc-tournament]

Alright gang, here's why you GOTTA vote for Polybius!

WELCOME TO 3D'S POLYBIUS PROPAGANDA!!!!! (Image by @janglejester)

And by that I mean I tell you silly facts about my lil robot.

Prepare yourselves, this is LONG.

THIS IS POLYBIUS (Pronouns are Xe/They/She/It)

As her name suggests, PB is inspired by the urban legend of the same name! Currently I'm telling xyr story through my OC Askblog: @fourscales

Polybius is an artificially intelligent virus created by Sinneslöschen Inc. Specifically programmers Axel Sinneslöschen (Green, They/Them) and Polly Arcadia (Pink-Teal, She/They/Xe/It).

Originally, xe was made to be a virus disguised as an AI assistant in video games, corrupting technology, and relaying data back to Sinneslöschen Inc back when it was ran by Axel's (shitty) parents. But was abandoned when the company fell, and forgotten about when Axel took over.

Polybius grew bitter, and it's became corrupted, allowing its virus to affect... REAL PEOPLE!

(Examples of infected characters, Chester in the first image belongs to @liliflower137)

Like the urban legend, Polybius can cause insomina, hallucinations, and many other things. However, she mainly just changes the way someone acts, most of the time to the inverse of their usual self.

But what does Polybius want?

Well, originally the AI wanted revenge against xyr creators. But after getting that, she finds her goals and her new position at PRISM, the best villain team in the Four Scales... unfulfilling and honestly not fun at all.

So, xe gathers a team of fellow villains and all split off from PRISM, creating their new team: SHARDS! With the goal of providing a fun and fresh way of villainy, causing chaos and promoting a sense of happiness in the villain community.

Random Facts about them!

They have a girlfriend! @lady-lampblack 's own Mirai.NET! (Art also by them)

Mira is inspired by Glados Portal. As a reference to this, PB has a crush on Glados in canon.

They're officially Non-Binary and Demi-Ace Lesbian

Despite everything, Polly and PB consider themselves unofficial twins, and refer to one another as sisters.

They collect little toy robots as assistants.

They tried to make up a funny name for their infection, and subsequently made a typo, forever branding their infection as "Gulching".

Okay, I'm done being autistic about my own damn OC.

Basically.

Vote Polybius or xe'll gulch you. (BIG Joke)

[arobinwithoutbatman]

Since I'm starting to interact with more of the Rogues gallery and starting to get to know ones from different pieces of media, it might be about time to share my headcanons for Tim's opinons on them in general because going through everyone is going to take forever especially since there's plenty I haven't had the chance to interact with yet and form an opinion on.

Also! All rogue interactions will happen in my Knighthood verse! Bruce's last case was solved, the plot of the Gotham Knights game has been handled and it's been long enough that Arkham has been rebuilt.

As a general rule, Tim will prioritise getting victims and hostages to safety over bantering with whoever he's dealing with that night. He will banter but only when it's safe to split his attention like that and not with every rogue. Black Mask, Joker, Bane, that kind of utterly vicious calibre? Absolutely not. He's more focused on surviving.

He's a defensive and stealthy fighter, he will stay hidden for as long as he can and not reveal himself until he has to.

With Bruce dead, he sticks to the philosphy to listen and try to empathise or at least understand if he can't empathise because anyone can end up in the same place as one of the rogues. All it takes is one bad day. That can happen to anyone. So if you're not actively causing trouble, he will sometimes just sit and chat especially if he's built some kind of rapport with someone.

He visits Harvey (@twcfaces) in Arkham regularly. He won't explain why and he's keeping those visits to himself for the time being. Harvey was kind to him the last time Tim went into sensory overload when checking him in and as it turns out, they have a few similarities. And Harvey isn't the only one.

Tim is a genius, he grew up very lonely, he's autistic and was never allowed to talk about it and, as much as he refuses to acknowledge it, he grew up emotionally neglected. He very easily could have been counted among the rogues if he'd made different choices. But that didn't happen and instead, he tries to ask questions and get them talking. If things end in a fight, then so be it.

He's also starting to visit Query and Echo occasionally to see if they've got any information he might have missed.

He tries not to jump straight into fighting. He'll pick off stragglers from the shadows, he'll sneak hostages out, he'll tackle things quietly unless he has no choice. If the situations is dire, he'll jump straight in and try to end things quickly.

He sees the corruption too, okay? He gets how infuriating it is. GCPD doesn't like him much right now either. He's angry about it too. He hates that so many people are unsafe and there's only so much he can do about it at night. He's starting to lean into the idea that he can help during the day too just like Bruce did, just as Dick does now. Money talks. Tackle the problems at the root. Which is why he asks questions, he tries to understand, as long as he's the only one in danger he'll even play along for a while.

[one-abuse-survivor]

before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

[timeisacephalopod]

Okay I'm gonna be bad and ask for multiple things😬😬. So your top 5 ice cream flavors Top 5 books you love Top 5 fanfics you love Top 5 OTPs(OT3,OTn) & top 5 songs....😊😍😘

Lol a list of lists. Alright here goes an entirely way too long answer lmao (why must I word so much).

Ice Cream Flavors:

1- Cotton candy (yes, I am an actual child)

2- Butterscotch

3- Mint chip

4- Neapolitan (I know technically its 3 flavors in a bowl but still it counts)

5- Vanilla

Top Five Books:

This one is a bit difficult because I don’t read as much as I used to but I’m going to try and avoid things I haven’t read recently because if I include stuff from my teens I KNOW there’s a good chance I’ll hate it now (hello, House of Night series).

1- The Captive Prince series. Its 3 books but I felt it easier to just lump it in as one. Anyone who looks this up- I warn you that the premise sounds absolutely horrible (to give you a warning it includes slavery). But I got the series recommended by someone I can only describe as someone who looks like she teaches Sunday school and is quite liberal so I thought ok, maybe the premise sounds bad but she said it was a political thriller, I’ll give it a shot. So I did and this series is amazing. Prince’s Gambit is such a great book (the second in the series).

2- Anything by Ellen Hopkins. I know I’m cheating here but I love every single book she’s written. My favs of hers include Burned (the sequel is good but the first is better), Identical (holy fuck that book T H R E W me), and Crank, Glass, and there’s a third in that series I can’t remember but they are all SO good. I lived my rebellious teenage phase through Ellen Hopkin’s characters tbh. She is amazing, please look her up.

3- The Harry Potter series (cheating again, I know). I got to the series later than all my peers (I read it at 18) but I am particularly fond of the 6th book.

4- The Hunger Games series. I absolutely love the world, the premise, and the followthrough. Its been forever since I’ve read them, but I know they’d hold up well to memory.

5- Most anything by Laurie Halse Anderson. Twisted is the one I remember the most and I’ll warn that I haven’t read it since I was 15, which probably means its not as good as I remember or much better than I had been able to perceive at that point in life (this is how I feel about Ellen Hopkins- I noticed more when I was older). Wintergirls is also very good and fucking heartbreaking. 

Honorable Mentions: The Vampire Academy series. I dislike Rose/ Dimitri because I never could believe their relationship, but the worldbuilding, characters, and character arcs are fucking amazing. The sequel series has 2 good books but when I read the third I had to roll my eyes and throw the whole thing out. While Mead is amazing at workdbuilding and plot she should probably never be allowed to write romance. Her attempts are clumsy, sad, and strangely sex obsessed to the point where all characterization is lost even when I actually found the couple to be interesting and dynamic before they got together. But the first series has only background romance so its still fantastic. Someone get Mead a romance lesson, if she gets good at it then her books will be so much better.

Top Five Fanfics:

(Another hard one because I spend more time reading than writing oh no!)

1- From You I Cannot Hide by SailorChibi. Its Steve/ Tony and I cannot recommend it enough. The BDSM, the relationship, the writing itself. SC is one of my fav fanfic authors- very talented and this story in particular is one of my absolute favs (though I don’t read any of the age play stuff, not my thing. Still a v talented author though).

2- Merchant King of War and Woe by blakefancier. Its Steve/ Howard, a guilt pleasure of mine that really does not have enough content. Seriously, why do more people not ship this pairing??

3- Don’t Say It by bibliomaniac. Its Steve/ Tony/ Bucky and features autistic non verbal Tony. Hold f u c k this story was amazing. I read the premise and wasn’t sure about it, but at the time I had much love for Tony/Bucky/Steve so gave it a shot. I am very happy I did because its fucking amazing. Please read it.

4- Bell Tolls by esama. I read this a few days ago but holy Christ what a take on soul mate tropes. I love soul mates, but they do hold a great potential for dystopia that’s not capitalized on much and this story really goes above and beyond there. Its not too long but holy damn is it good.

5- Most anything by blue_jack that I’ve read. Usually I’m not overly fond of sex scenes- they often feel needless and overdone. But there’s an expectation in fanfic to write it and for the life of me my asexual ass cannot figure out how to do it. I’m not squeamish about sex or sex related things so I don’t understand my aversion to writing it. Anyways when I looked up advice on how to write sex one of the things I read was to find an author who writes sex well and note what you like about their writing. blue_jack was the author that I found that writes the most interesting, dynamic, and in character sex scenes I’ve read (with a lot of Steve/ Tony). Seriously- its not all ‘insert A tab in B slot’, its focused a lot on character thought as well. This is the kind of sex scene I aspire to write because A- it feels more natural and B- blue_jack is just really good. Like r e a l l y good. Read their things! 

Top Five OTPs:

1- IronPanther who is surprised lmao, no one given the sheer amount of content I write for them.

2- WinterIron. Again I’m sure no one is surprised.

3- IronStrange/ IronQuill pretty much equally

4- Tony/ Rhodey though I should write more of it

5- and, because I feel compelled to write one pairing that’s not an MCU pairing Damen/ Laurent from the Captive Prince series. Their relationship is a fucking RIDE.

Honorable mentions: Tony and literally every marvel character I haven’t mentioned minus like… Thanos and Pepper (no hate to Pep- I just don’t see the romance at all, and it was so hamfisted into the MCU basically only for the purposes of heterosexuality. Pepper deserves better, preferably Natasha tbh, and Tony obviously belongs with like Rhodey or something). Tony/Bucky/ T’Challa is an interesting pairing I want to explore more as well. Tony/Bucky/ Steve is another long standing pairing I like. Sam/ Bucky or Sam/Steve too- I love Sam with either character, but not both at the same time. Sam/ Rhodey is also very cute, as well as Sam/ T’Challa. Hope/ Rhodey is another unexpected preference of mine that I’ve included in a few things. I ship like 95% of the MCU with itself minus pretty much any canon pairing (as IF Hope would ever date Scott- she’s way too competent for him. She should be with Pepper or something, or literally anyone but Scott or Tony tbh).

Extra Bonus Points to all my BroTPs that are too long to list, but also basically consists of the MCU with itself tbh. 

Top Five Songs:

1- Gamekeeper by Jessie Reyez. Its fucking amazing.

2- Colors by Halsey. (Also Gasoline)

3- Mz Hyde by Halestorm

4- Hit and Run by LoLo

5- The World is Ugly by My Chemical Romance (among a lot of others).

Honorable mentions: Fall Out Boy’s last 3 albums. They got some bangers ok.