#I'm all for saving the planet and not using more paper but this is not the solution

[starfruitsomething]

THESE THINGS

YEP THESE RIGHT HERE

When I tell you I would rather walk out of the bathroom hands SOPPING WET with huge water stains down my clothes, then put any part of my body near these ear-killing-death-machines-that-DONT-EVEN-FUCKING-DRY-YOUR-HANDS!!

[coucouatoi]

don't want to be alone | h.s.

Pairings: Harry Styles x Reader

Summary: Divorcing the biggest superstar on the planet is the hardest thing you've ever done. Almost as hard as marrying him was.

Warnings: Angst, couples therapy, a little bit of fluff, hopeful ending

A/N: I don't know why I'm feeling so full of angst... but, please enjoy!

Flashback are in italic and present day is normal text

Boxes are littered around the house. Some full and taped shut others still being stuffed with your items. It's a slow and torturous process, having to choose what to take, what to throw out and what things are a conversation waiting to happen "That's a wedding gift from my aunt" or "When have you ever used that?" or even better "I know it was a gift, but I paid for it so i'll keep it". It's like he knows exactly which buttons to press to get the fights started. Granted you might be doing the same thing... But it doesn't make him entitled to all the belongings you've ever shared.

You've managed to find all the picture albums, the ones you decided to make for sentimental value. The ones you gifted him in tender moments. The ones filled with so much love, so much hope and promises for a future together. The ones you're now highly considering throwing into a paper shredder and tossing into the nearest incinerator. The ones you won't be able to get rid of. The anniversary album you gave him on your one year, the wedding album, the honeymoon album, the many travel albums and, of course, your daughter's first album.

Little Anya, barely 9 months old just starting to babble her first words. Chubby legs working so hard to keep her standing and exploring. She can barely take 3 steps one after the other but she's a fighter. Your little girl that is now a cause for argument, no, fights. Custody battles. The true war between yourself and your husband, Harry Styles. Neither of you want to lose or call for a tie, it's not how either of you operate in conflict. That, most likely, is the reason for the downfall of your relationship.

Frustrated you put the albums back where you found them and you head to the kitchen.

Most kitchen items have been packed up, Harry had never really invested in worthwhile cutlery or electronics of any sort. You take some orange juice from the fridge and pour a glass for yourself. The fridge itself is barren, with only the essentials left... neither of you has gone to the groceries in weeks. Today is not going to be a good day.

From the rediscovery of your love-filled albums to the boxes you've spent most of the day doing, you still have one horrible thing to do.

Couples therapy, your first-ever session. You thought, well still think, that this is too far gone to save in therapy. There won't be anything new shared that you haven't already screamed in each other's faces and self-help talks aren't exactly going to do the trick. Anne, Harry's mother, insisted that your marriage doesn't only include two people anymore. Anya makes it worth trying, she is worthy of a stable home as she grows up. No matter how unstable having a superstar parent may be, divorced parents might just add to that an unruly amount. So, you've both agreed to try. Try your very best to reassemble your love no matter how shattered it has become. Love. Love hasn't manifested itself once since about your seventh month of pregnancy. Love has vanished from your husband's once warm and inviting eyes, it no longer lingers on his fingertips and doesn't even creep into the more tender moments you must share with your baby. Love feels like a complete joke to you now.

-

The waiting room is empty of other clients which is a blessing in disguise. This is the absolute last place you'd want to run into Harries. Even if the media has already been dragging you in the mud for "breaking their dear superstar's heart" and has been making all sorts of claims about you and your marriage. In the very beginning, Harry had spoken up about these articles and had gotten his team to shut some people up but he's been losing care for... well, you.

"Harry and Y/N?" you look up meeting the eyes of who you can only assume is your therapist. Without sparring your husband a glance you get up and follow her into her office. It's cosy and smells like vanilla. There's a yellow glow to the room, it bounces off her multiple frames and decorations. Very nonthreatening, immediately putting you a little more at ease. She gestures for you to take a seat on her velvet green couch and you sit down squeezing yourself onto the left armrest. Harry does the same to the right.

"Good afternoon to you both, I am Trinity Finch. Can I get either of you something to drink before I sit down?" She smiles politely as her eyes shift between both of you. You only shake your head as an answer not trusting your stomach at the moment.

"Water if it's not too much trouble, please" Harry's voice is strained, he had been at the studio all morning probably preparing a new album you aren't aware of.

Trinity nods and quickly grabs a water bottle from a small fridge she's got right behind her desk. Harry mumbles a thank you as she hands it to him. You don't realise that his hands are shaking as you're back to looking around the room. He takes a few big gulps before your therapist gets to sit in her chair.

"Today I would just like to start with a history lesson on your relationship. How it started, all important moments, how parenthood has changed your shared life and just how you two are as a couple" She starts getting things ready around her, notebook, pens, highlighters, some sticky notes and you swear that you spotted some bright childish stickers. Her long manicured nails tap against the glass of her desk a few times as the silence stretches. Neither of you taking the first step in this session. When she looks up again she doesn't look annoyed or surprised by the lack of an answer.

"Harry, how did you meet your wife?" Trinity asks him gently.

Harry seems caught by surprise to have been asked a question directly. He looks at you briefly before turning his eyes back to her.

"Um, we meet on the plane. For some reason, my private plane for that day was not available and they booked me on a regular flight. Premium ended up being full and I got an economy seat. I had the aisle and she had the middle we ended up bonding over our shared movie choice. Then I asked her out and um here we are?" He ends with a question. As if unsure if "here" is a good thing, it's definitely not but meeting has, unfortunately, brought you both here.

"And when was this?" she asks.

"April 2018" he answers quickly. She nods presumably writing it down.

"How was your relationship before marriage Y/N?" she looks at you now with kind eyes. They are big and dark. Staring right into your soul. It makes you slightly uncomfortable but at the same time you don't want her to look away she's your lifeline right now.

"It was very easy. I work remotely as a translator and an editor, so I've always been able to tag along on his travels and tours. He, um, he always insisted that he rather have me with him even if we couldn't see each other every single day. Just knowing I was near helped him..." you sigh. You don't want to shed tears this early into your session. You don't want Harry to see you cry any more than he already has over your lost relationship.

"I really loved following him around the globe" you add, looking down at your lap willing your wet eyes to dry.

"Any fighting? How did you deal with that?" Trinity is still talking to you maybe even sensing that you're about to cry. Is that what she wants from this?

"Well, yeah. I mean all couples fight, right? We fought over the same things all the time really. I wanted more affection I guess pressuring him to take some time away from the spotlight or he wanted me all to himself whenever it worked with him without thinking of my work. Our jobs were the main reason for fighting between us" Besides you, Harry scoffs before taking another sip of water. Your head turns to him

so quickly that a sharp pain forms in the back of your neck. Your posture immediately tightens, muscles locking and your breath gets heavier.

"What? You don't agree?" you question him in a much harsher tone than you were previously using. He meets your gaze and shrugs.

"I do but that's not all we fought over" he shrugs again not looking away. Is he trying to pick a fight right now? Here of all places?

"Then what? What am I missing?" you prepare yourself for the worst. Ready to feel like absolute shit at anything he might say.

"Your constant jealousy was a contender for the most appearances in our fights" his entire expression is accusatory but he does this thing with his posture. Gets all soft and somewhat blazé making you feel inferior and so incredibly small.

You want to storm out. Call Anne to apologise that it couldn't work out and immediately sign the divorce papers that are permanently placed right on your dining table.

Not wanting to fuel this energy taking over him right now you shrug as well before facing Trinity again. She's watching both of you like a hawk, processing the way you react to conflict with each other. Making mental notes as well as some physical ones all while hostility happens between her clients.

"We'll move on from this for now. Harry, how was the wedding? How did married life change your bond?" this seemingly calms his overgrown ego. His face is neutral again but there's a softness to it now, recalling the happy days.

"We had an Italy wedding. We, I love Italy. I flew everyone out, our families and friends, and then we stayed there for a month more for our honeymoon. The wedding itself was... amazing. We kept it small. Intimate. With my life it's always been hard to have that so, it was important to us" he sounds blissful towards the last part. Probably back there now in his mind. Ah, the good old days as they say.

"I don't think married life changed us much. We were living together before that and we'd been planning it since we got together practically" he stops talking again to take another sip of water. You look at the lady in front of you again and as she begins to open her mouth to probably question him more Harry starts talking again.

"I guess tension started about a year in. The media wasn't kind to her. They made up cheating rumours on both sides and manipulated things to make them seem like something else. Someone even showed up at our old house while I was out" he took a deep breath, cracking some of his knuckles at the same time, "We were always on edge around each other. Throwing these rumours at one another just to I don't know, get a reaction? Plus, we were stuck at home because of Covid and my tour was postponed. It was a real shit show" he laughs bitterly and you nod along to what he was saying. That was just a terrible time. For everyone.

"Then I got to go on tour, Y/N didn't follow along for all of it but she was there most of the beginning. It wasn't the same as before. There was this distance that just never got better. And then she got pregnant" he almost sounds exhausted. Maybe he is, you're not sure how much he's slept lately.

-

Shit. Fuck. This can't be happening now. Shit! The word "Pregnant" seems to be mocking you as you look down at it. Mocking the fact that you and Harry have not seriously spoken in two days and that you're flying back home tomorrow. Mockingly reminding you that this can only make things worse right now.

"Y/N, come on the car is waiting downstairs" your husband's voice is weak through the thick hotel bathroom door. He's performing in Toronto tonight. The second day, the last day before he flies to New York and you go back to London.

You walk out of the bathroom, straight past Harry, not wanting him to read your face and figure out that something is terribly wrong. You slip into your shoes for the night and take a deep breath, no scratch that, a huge breath. Willing your facial expression to cooperate before you turn to him and smile.

"Let's go superstar!" he smiles back and walks over to you. Grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his mouth so he can plant a kiss on the back of it.

"We just might have to cancel tonight if you look this good" his free hand wraps around you tightly glueing you to his body. You know he doesn't mean it but you pretend to consider it nonetheless.

"Mh what about all your adoring fans? Won't they be so utterly crushed?" you tease against his lips. He smiles wickedly before slowly nodding.

"I do have quite the engagement this evening... how about I make it up to you after?" he presses soft kisses to the sides of your face. Framing it.

"That's a pretty good offer, I just might have to tak-"

"HARRY STYLES GET YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR HOTEL ROOM!!" Jeff's voice is full of annoyance as it cuts you off. Rude.

You laugh before getting pulled out of the room by your husband. The small plastic stick forgotten on the washroom counter for now.

You get a harsh reminder tho when you're back at the hotel after yet another amazing concert. You're laying on the bed completely stretched out and now only dressed in your underwear. Harry's currently using the washroom to try and get some of the remaining glitter off his face when he finds the secret you've kept all evening.

"Y/N, what's this?" his voice is so shaky that you barely even understood what he asked you. However, when you look up your brain catches up. He's in his boxers, left hand in his hair and right hand holding the test like it's made of glass as he looks at it as if it's going to explode. Fuck.

"No chance that you suddenly lost the ability to read?" you try and lighten the suddenly very heavy mood in the room. It fails.

"You're pregnant. How, I mean no I know how. Fuck, you're pregnant" he looks up at you panicked.

"We don't have to keep it" is the first thing out of your mouth. Probably as a panic response to his reaction. Not wanting this to turn into another fight.

"What?! Why wouldn't we, you don't want, I um" he takes a second. He's just breathing heavily while looking at you desperately. "You don't want to keep it?" he breathes out.

"You do?" is all you answer. You stand slowly, finding the clothes you just took off to put them back on. Whatever mood you were in is gone you're now filled with anxiety and a deep fear.

"You leave tomorrow... We won't see each other for what 3 months? In Mexico?" he hasn't moved an inch. Feet seemingly glued to the floor and limbs were frozen.

-

Pregnancy. One of the worst and best times of your life. Your gorgeous baby girl came out of all the pain you suffered. She gave a new meaning to the way you live, made you forget about all the physical pain you endured and...

"Why do you say it in that way? Like you still dread what the pregnancy brought" Trinity's voice almost startles you. You'd been so lost in your thoughts that you'd almost forgotten where you were.

"I don't! I love Anya" his voice is stern.

"What about your wife? What happened during the pregnancy?" she's digging. Wants to find the right buttons to push.

Harry stammers, but no answer seems to satisfy him. His hands are squeezed under his things, his right leg bouncing and his eyes avoiding either of you.

"We didn't plan her, I was right in the middle of my tour. We, um, we weren't doing very good and she was about to go home" he looks at you suddenly surprising you when he meets your eyes. You can't read him, can't understand what he's feeling. You haven't been able to read him in months.

"She- You, Y/N, she got really sick in February the seven-month mark. I was in Australia and I couldn't be there. It really strained us, we fought all the time over the phone and in person. I guess that's really when we went downhill" his jaw tenses when he looks away from you. Looks like he's not happy to have to have shared this with the room.

"Okay, thank you, Harry. I think now's a great time to take a breather. I'll meet both of you individually when we come back. So, see you both here in 20 minutes?" Trinity smiles at both of you and keeps smiling until you both walk out.

-

Harry doesn't come back. You wait 45 minutes in Trinity's office looking like an idiot. She dismisses you with a look of pity on her face before scheduling another appointment 5 days later, lots of work to do you assume. You rush out of the building humiliation creeping into every inch of your body. How could he do this on the first day? It was going fairly well, well you think so anyway... did he give up on your relationship right then and there?

As you make your way to your car you see him. Harry is pacing back and forth in front of his car as he seemingly argues on the phone. His free hand waves erratically in front of him, gesturing like mad for someone who can't even see him. So this is what he's been doing? Arguing over the phone while you sat in a therapist's office waiting to try and work on your ever-crumbling marriage. You scoff before turning away from him and to your car. But nothing seems to be on your side today as your husband hears you and immediately calls out to you.

"Y/N! Why are you leaving?" you hear him walk towards you, the clacking of his shoes getting closer to you but you ignore him and walk away faster.

You're completely focused on your black Subaru, the "You're so Golden" sticker catching your eye and making you more pissed off. Something that was put there because you loved the song, because of how beautiful your husband's voice is in the song but now all you want to do is rip it right off. So, that's what you do.

Your nails claw at the edges of it desperately. You don't want any reminders of Harry on your car, you don't want to think of him while putting the groceries away, while walking around the car after putting Anya in her car seat and you don't want to see it in your rearview mirror anymore. The top corner lifts as you're pulling at it giving you the perfect leverage to rip it right off. You throw it to the ground right before turning around to stare daggers into Harry's eyes.

"45 minutes, Harry. I sat there 45 minutes with our therapist looking at me like a beaten dog!" you hiss at him. He is now only about 2 or 3 feet away from you. His eyes are wide, in shock you guess, as he looks at the sticker. "What could you have possibly been doing for more than an hour that made you forget what we were here for?" you're sure you sound desperate right now. Your head is all over the place and your heart feels like it might explode out of your chest.

"An hour? I, no, that couldn't have been more than-"

"You can go back up and ask her if you want because I really really don't want to be around you right now" and now you're crying. Fuck. Why are you crying now? You need to leave.

While rummaging in your bag for your keys Harry grabs your arm. Well maybe not grabs, he just places his hand on you, resting it there delicately. If you weren't so aware of every single inch of your body right now you wouldn't have noticed. No matter how delicate the touch is supposed to be you flinch out of it aggressively.

"I'm, I'm so sorry Y/N. That was my mother, she, fuck" he sighs and runs a hand in his hair gripping it tightly. "She wants us to go up... she's rented a lake house or something I guess" his voice is so soft, shy even.

"Us? You mean you and Anya?" god you hope so.

"I'm so sorry" is all he answers.

-

Anne Twist is a very difficult woman to say no to. Actually, it's impossible to say no to her. In the many years you've known her, she's always been able to find a way to make you say yes. Always in a good way. She loves you, she has told you that countless times, and you love her but now that you're... the way you are with her son you don't know where you stand. Yet, she has still found a way to get you to agree to something you would have much rather not have gone to. You're in a small townhouse almost 4 hours away from your home in London with your mother-in-law, your daughter and your soon-to-be ex-husband. What has your life come to?

Anya is sitting in her high chair passionately eating banana slices as you watch her. She's already gobbled up the strawberries and pita bread slices she also had for her snack. She's such a good eater always so ready to try new things and taste whatever the adults around her eat. Especially the sweet treats her dad sneaks her.

"Do you want to go take a dip after huh? We should enjoy the water my love" you coo at her as she takes her final bite of food. She smiles at you like she understood what you asked and you chuckle wiping her chubby cheeks and hands. She'll be able to float around in the water for a little bit with you before you put her down for a nap. The steps of your morning are perfectly planned so that you can have your solo Zoom session with Trinity.

There is a small river behind the house you're staying in. The water goes up to just above your breast and it's the perfect warmth at this time of day. You've made your way down to it and are now setting up Anya's towel for when she'll be too tired to entertain you and ready for her mid-day snooze. She's currently lying right by you looking up at the sky with such curiosity, probably trying to figure out what the hell clouds are.

"You're so curious my love!" you shake her gently as you smile widely. "What do you see up there?" as you look up to join her sky-gazing you spot Harry making his way to the river as well. He's only got very short grey swimming trunks on meaning his entire chest, thighs, calves, and arms are out for the whole world to see. Maybe that's an exaggerated statement as you're the only one looking right now. You want to scold yourself for staring, you really really do but he's just so... so captivating and very enjoyable to look at no matter how much you resent him at the moment.

"Mind if I join you ladies?" his voice is more cheerful than when you heard it last. Must be because he's actually speaking to and looking at Anya.

However, when you don't answer his question he looks up at you. Expression now closed off again, how it's always been for the past few months. You smile politely and nod before turning your back to both of them so you can take your robe off. Your swimsuit isn't anything special; simple black one-piece that's high on the hips and low on your back. You think it looks pretty good on you but now you feel very aware of the amount of skin you're showing. You decide to just get in the water hoping its dark colour hides you. Hides away the skin your husband might be looking at.

"Looks like mummy is in a hurry, we should join her. What do you think sweetheart?" Harry picks your baby up and makes his way into the water. He holds her tightly to his chest as he climbs in, just in case he slips on the stones he uses as stairs. Once your daughter's chubby limbs meet the water her mouth forms into an adorable "O" shape. It's the second time Anya's been in the water now so she must still be unsure about this feeling. Harry turns her so that her front faces you and her back is against him. She smiles when she spots you reaching her arms out quickly which splashes some water around. She looks at you with a shocked expression and does it again with a giggle now.

"You little troublemaker! Trying to splash me!" you tease her sending some water her way. She answers with a sweet giggle and shakes her arms around as fast as she possibly can.

"Mh, my jokester gene is strong in her" Harry's voice is laced with pride. You playfully roll your eyes at him and hum affirmatively.

"And her love for singing too" you add remembering so many moments where she hums to any song playing. Her favourite thing to do is to harmonise with her father. His deep voice always gets her attention, always gets her to mumble and hum along with her own lyrics.

"Oh yes, she's the next big thing this one" he affirms kissing the top of her small head affectionately.

It's in moments like these that you tend to forget how bad it is between you. How many horrible things you've shouted at each other not caring how deep your words could cut. The accusations, the insults, the taunts and even the lies still weigh heavy on both of you. You like these softer moments, where you're reminded of how much love you both had for each other. Have? Had? You don't know anything about your feelings anymore, they are much too complicated to understand...

All three of you stay in the river for about an hour more before Anya starts yawning and fussing. When you exit the water you're quick to slip your robe back on still overly aware. Harry wraps the fluffy towel you had gotten ready around your baby. Her head rests in the crook of his neck, her eyelids already heavy as she blinks slowly. You all walk back to the house together silently. Might it be to keep the sleepy baby calm or to keep the peaceful aura around you and your husband, you don't know.

Harry insists that he will put the sleepy girl to bed and that you should take a shower first. After all, you have the first private sessions with your therapist. The mention of her does make the air in the townhouse tense again but Anne appears immediately to kiss Anya before she naps. You use that moment to sneak into your shared room with Harry. Luckily, it has two single beds so you don't have to share with him.

Signing deeply you rid yourself of the now damp robe you had on. Another blessing in disguise, this room has an en suite bathroom so you'll be able to jump right into the shower. Before that you do want to set up your laptop for the video call, you want to be as ready as you possibly can be. You grab your device from your backpack and make your way to the small desk in the corner of the room. There's a bunch of papers scattered around it, one glance at them and you immediately know what they are.

Lyrics. Drafts of songs and melodies written by your rockstar husband. You don't mean to read any of the words you really don't but as soon as you spot your name at the top of one of the pages you're doomed. You put your laptop down on Harry's bed which is right next to the desk and reach for that exact paper.

The words you read are full of longing, pain, sadness and fear. They mourn love, they are mourning your love. You pick up another sheet of paper, this one has no title but there are so many lines written. This one is reeks of self-hatred, of shame and guilt... it shakes the weak barriers you've built around your heart. All of the lyrics you read on different papers revolve around the same emotions. These are all about your relationship. About the death of it. About his desire to turn around. You don't realise you're crying until a tear falls onto the paper you hold. The ink bleeds into itself where it's been wet blurring the words slightly. You quickly wipe your face and put the papers down. You shouldn't be looking at these, you're invading his privacy.

"Thought you were showering" Harry's voice startles you out of the chair. You meet the floor with a loud thud. Your tear-filled eyes meet his sharp ones. Scrambling up to your feet you grab your laptop ready to explain, ready to apologise over and over again.

"At least tell me what you think" he sighs walking into the bedroom and shutting the door behind himself. This shocks you. What does he mean? He, he's not mad? Isn't disappointed that you invaded his creative space? Your mouth opens and closes a few times unsure what you should answer.

"I'm sorry" is all you're able to get out. Your brain is blank in absolute fear but tears keep falling from your eyes.

"I should be apologising... you, you weren't supposed to see those" he walks in your direction slowly, testing the waters of how close you'll let him get. He's closer than arm's reach when you flinch backwards slightly and he stops immediately.

"I was going to ask you for your permission before making any of those full songs but you know music is how I cope" he whispers now that he's so close to you. Silence takes over the room again, stretching out for too long. Your eyes somehow keep producing tears as you try and speak. Hopelessly searching for words to say.

"Do you really miss us? You miss me?" is what you come up with, your voice is so shaky that you're on the verge of sobbing uncontrollably.

This shocks Harry in place, seemingly not prepared for that kind of questioning from you. His mouth gapes and his eyes grow wide. This time you do see his hands start shaking. You're not entirely sure what this emotion is.

"Of course I do. Did you not think so?" while still whispering he reaches out to hold you but stops himself hands falling at his sides.

"Yo- Harry, you asked for the divorce. How was I supposed to know you miss me?" your voice breaks. You don't understand, why is this happening now, why is he saying these things?

-

"We should just get a divorce" Harry snaps at you as he fights back tears. Your expression immediately closes up, your body reacting before your thoughts and words do. Protecting you from what he just said, building walls around you and your heart as quickly as possible.

"Fine" you spit out as you turn away from him and walk straight out of your bedroom. If that's what he wants then so be it. You won't beg for anything now that he's made his decision.

-

"I know, okay? I know that I asked for it and that it's the reason why you don't talk to me anymore. Well, you do but not really" he sighs and sits down on his bed, damn swim trunks wetting the bed "We talk about Anya and when we're not we are yelling at each other... so when was I supposed to tell you that I missed you? That I regretted asking for the divorce..." he looks at you with a guilty expression, all his emotions are coming up at once.

"Why did you ask for it?" you ask him sitting back on the desk chair with your laptop still in your hands.

"I got in my head. You were saying we should take some time for ourselves maybe live apart... with everything that kept being said about us, I got so scared" he takes your laptop out of your grip and puts it down next to him.

"I thought you were going to fight me on it..." he adds as he grabs your hands tenderly. Like he's afraid you'll break.

You shake your head in disbelief not sure what to say. Your thoughts are all over the place, what should you make of this?

"It broke my heart" When did his face get so close to yours? You should really move away. You can't fall back into him, you can't let yourself do that. So you pull away from him roughly, your hands tugging out of his hold, face moving to the side, a sob making its way out of you as your back meets the chair-back.

When you meet Harry's eyes you can see the pain, the hurt, in them. They are brimming with tears that are so close to spilling out.

"Are we... are we too broken?" his voice has dropped to a whisper. He sounds so sad and scared.

"I'm worried" You take in a few breaths before you speak again, "What if we just end up hurting each other again? What if we can't go back?" you choke out the last few words. Tears spill endlessly out of your eyes and sobs rack your entire body.

It feels like you're running out of air and the little bits you get in are painful. Your eyes burn as you cry and your hands are shaking like crazy.

Harry might be answering or trying to communicate but nothing is making its way past your meltdown. What does make it through is the feeling of his arms around you. Him pulling you against his chest tightly, immediately rubbing your back as soothingly as he can. Your hands are grabbing his still bare skin desperately, wanting to anchor yourself in any way you can. Your face rests on his peck, right above his heart, the frantic beating bouncing around your head.

"Breathe, you have to breathe love" he speaks delicately in your ear, breaking through the barrier your body has put up.

"I'm- I'm, I can't... Harry I can't" your clawing at him almost trying to get under his skin, someplace you might be able to understand everything that's going through his mind.

He wiggles around a little before laying you both down as he keeps reassuring and encouraging you. He drags you on top of him your face now pressed up against the juncture of his neck. Your left-hand makes its way into his hair, pulling at it as softly as you can manage. Harry's hands run up and down your back, your arms, and your neck and he even pets your hair delicately. He's always known how to best calm you down... how to bring you back down to earth and out of the panic attacks you sometimes get when you're overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry" he repeats that over and over with a pained desperation. Harry's scared shitless too. He doesn't know how things will go with your relationship. He can't guarantee that you won't end up actually wanting a divorce one day... But he can love you. He has and will keep loving you. He hopes it'll be enough to save your marriage. He'll work incredibly hard every single day to prove his love for you... if you let him back in he won't ever let you go. He'll leave it all up to you. Your little family is all he needs, he'll spend the rest of his life proving that to you if that's what it takes.

[malecftw]

Dirt - Tom Blyth

A/N: Duuuuuuuude, I feel like I'm in an alternate universe. Never would I have thought I'd ever be writing again, years later! Please please please let me know what you guys think since this is my first story back. It'll probably play a part in wether or not I'll write more since I obvs love writing, but a writer isn't a writer without readers.

Enjoy xx

Warnings: fluff.

(Not my gif obvs)

The cool breeze of the opening car door makes you smile. The vehicle moves slightly as someone sits in the driver's seat. After some rustling you hear: "Open up." You do as you're told and open your lips slightly, only to feel the cool metal of a reusable straw. A groan escapes your lips as you taste your favorite cooled beverage. By now, he knew all your favorites by heart, just like he knew your dislike for the standard paper straws they've started using everywhere. You're all for saving the planet, but paper should never be sucked on. You lean your head against the headrest as you turn your head towards the driver's seat, even though your eyes could only see black.

"Does this mean you're gonna be my servant all day?" You hear a chuckle. "Don't get used to it hot stuff. You're only blindfolded until we get there." You puckered your lips, "and where is there exactly?" you try again. For months, he's been keeping you in the dark about what he had planned for your birthday. He hyped it up quite a bit so your curiosity only grew as it led you to this moment, literally in the dark about the whole thing. He just kissed your lips and you knew that was the only answer you were gonna get.

The drive was filled with your favorite music, the occasional chatter and regular hand kisses as he held yours in your lap. Although you couldn't see anything, you weren't bored. It was rare that you got to spend much time together, so even this was a treat. You still found it crazy how he had been able to persuade the producers and director to film around your birthday. Well, persuading isn't exactly the right word. He had a few different gigs lined up, so he could basically tell them: "Give me these days off, or I'm going for the other job."

He was always the assertive one in the relationship. Especially when it came to you. Any free moment he could get, he would make sure to capitalize on it just so he could spend it with you. Ever since you guys met at Julliard, you'd been absolutely smitten with eachother.

Your thoughts were interrupted as the car came to a halt. "Slow down tiger." He said, quickly grabbing your hand moving towards the blindfold. "Tooooooom, please..." you whined, squeezing his hand. "You'll find out soon enough, trust me. Now I'm going to come over to your side to help you get out okay. No peeking."

The dramatic sigh that left your lips made him laugh, loving the advantage he had over you. As you play with a loose thread on your jean overall he opens the door. Grabbing your waist, he lifts you out of the Jeep, squeezing your sides in the process.

"Okay, take off your blindfold on my mark." He exclaims, followed by alot of shuffling, making you aware of multiple people present. "Go for it babe." He says loudly, and you do as he says.

The sight infront of you startles you, not at all what you expected. It feels like you're in some kind of national park. Only stones, sand and dirt in sight. If you exclude the group of people infront of you that is.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone shouts at the same time and you jump back a little in surprise. In front of you are you closest friends, as well as some of Tom's coworkers you'd been lucky enough to get close to. A few Billy The Kid costars were also there, you assumed the others had to keep filming while he had a couple days off.

As you take in the sight, hand over your mouth, still in shock, you notice everyone has a bucket hanging from their wrist. "What the fuck!?!" you shout, happy but confused. Tom walks up to you, takes your hand and walks you closer to the group. He hands you a similar looking bucket, a chisel and a hammer.

"We're going crystal digging." Tom smiles, stretching out his arms proudly as he looks at the scenery. Your heart nearly bursts at the seams as you throw your new equipment to the ground and jump in his arms, clinging onto him like a Koala.

"Tom Blyth, you are the most unrealistically perfect boyfriend ever and I do wonder how I ended up with you." You whisper, looking into his eyes, trying to make him realise how much this means to you.

It's not like you were crystal-obsessed. It's just something you'd been drawn to your entire life. A little quirk one might say. It was a subtle part of your life. One that you had often gotten judged for by previous boyfriends. Tom never spoke negatively about it, it was just a part of who you are and if it made you happy, why would he try to manipulate it out of you like the ones before him. It's not because he himself wasn't that interested in it, that you weren't allowed to be.

"Babe, all I do is listen. It's not rocket science." He smiles as he gives you a little Eskimo kiss. "So humble," you mock swoon as het puts you down. "Oi, don't be jealous if I find the biggest rock okay." He grins while nudging your side. "Not gonna happen. I'm a crystal magnet." You say cockily as you join the group.

After a couple hours, everyone was covered in dust and dirt. Happily you look at your bucket, having found a couple huge, beautiful crystals and a lot of smaller ones. Next to you Tom was also holding his bucket closer to his face to inspect what he found. Your shoulder touches his elbow as you say: "You know what, I might have a couple of them made into some lovely jewelry pieces."

Tom looks at you bewildered. "Like what?" You don't think much of it as you answer. "I don't know. There's some beautiful stones in here for some earrings, necklaces, bracelets... Or maybe I can make some stuff myself you know. Get my creative juices flowing." He sighs softly at your answer. "I love you." At that you raise your eyebrow. Neither you or Tom were shy of expressing your love for eachother, but this was a bit random. "I love you too. I honestly don't think you realise how much this means to me. I never would have guessed this to be the surprise. It's so thoughtful. It truly shows how much you know me through and through." "I'm glad you like it. You're always down to try anything, even if you're not sure about it in the beginning. That's why I feel comfortable trying something new. I'm aware it hasn't been easy now that work's been steady and I've been away from home a lot. And you have no idea how much I appreciate you giving me the freedom to follow my dreams."

He leans down and kisses you passionately. Melting into his touch you stand there for a while looking at the scenery, taking everything in.

*That evening*

"You clean up nicely mr. Blyth." You comment on his attire. He does a little twirl, smirking as he checks you out. "You're not so bad for a little scavenger." You poke his side and sit down in one of the chairs. After you'd said your goodbyes to the rest of the group, Tom had driven you about an hour away from the crystal mine. You knew that wasn't the end of your birthday surprise since he'd told you to also pack some nice evening attire.

Tom had booked an amazing restaurant. The owners went above and beyone to blow your mind, preparing an outdoor table with the best view. After dessert, you both were enjoying some lovely wine and eachother. Catching up after not having seen eachother for a while since you'd only flow in yesterday so you could spend your birthday together.

He absentmindedly played with your fingers as a comfortable silence settled between you two. You felt him rubbing your ring finger and noticed him looking at it. "Looks quite empty doesn't it." He says quite casually. You roll your eyes and jokingly hit his chest. "Don't play that game." You say, smiling widely. You'd talked about marriage before, you both knew you wanted it at some point in your life. Sure some people say it's just a piece of paper, and you couldn't fully disagree, but it also had a deeper meaning to the both of you. The promise of choosing eachother, every day, forever.

He looked into your eyes and shook his head.

"I'm not playing games anymore love."

The way he said it made you shiver. He'd made that joke before, but never with an answer so serious. He leaned back in his chair. "Do you remember, early on in our relationship, that time I forgot my tie for one of the first plays I did at Julliard?" You smile as you think back to that memory. "How could I forget. You were basically a living zombie for 3 weeks leading up to that play."

Tom nodded, back to playing with your fingers.

"I remember I had been so stressed. The character I played was so dull. I struggled so much finding ways to make him more interesting to the audience. And that damn tie. It was so important to me. Silly how something so small could mean so much at the time." "So much that you forgot it at home 3 hours before the play." You humored.

Looking enamoured, he continued.

"And I remember you. You with your make up half done, running towards me in a fucking thunderstorm. And when we met in the middle, you just casually opened your vest, handing over that damn tie."

Laughter exploded from your chest. You were in the middle of getting ready to attend the play when you got the frantic call from Tom. You didn't think twice and started running towards the school, and didn't even realise it was raining until you were running through the streets of New York City, by then it was too late to turn back to dress appropriately for the weather.

The man infront of you smiling, as he relived the same memory.

"That's when I knew."

A questioning look painted your face.

"I knew. Right then and there, that I'd always look for you in the crowd."

Speechless, you squeezed his hand.

He sat up straight in his chair. Taking both of your hands in his.

"I love you. I love the way you still can't use our airfryer, 2 years after we got it. I love your random obsession with knitting and making me wear your handmade sweaters to work. I love home, but only when you're there. I love that you let me be who I truly am and I love that you are fearlessly yourself."

He stood up and kneeled down infront of you, taking out a red, velvet box.

"Please allow me, to fulfill one more dream of mine."

As he opens the box he speaks with shaking voice and tears in his eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

[nei-ning]

Gonna rant a bit. I saw one set of beautiful anthro arts on another website. Sadly they were done in AI. I did left a comment, complimenting how beautiful these arts were but how sad it made me that they were AI arts.

The artist themselves was kind and polite, telling they use AI because they want to learn and be able to make game arts one day (but they too, apparently, with AI so...)

But then there was another user, AI "artist" too who replied to me that there's absolutely NO ARTIST who can draw anthros with detailed fur, goat like arm, lights, colors etc without editing or photoshopping. On the whole planet, absolutely none! This person clearly don't believe in people's skills when it comes on arts. Heck, I followed one artist on DA who drew ALL her arts traditionally and she drew, and still does, SUPER DETAILED FURRY ANTHROS! No photoshop, editing, nothing digital. Just her hands, paper and a set of color pencils.

Also, if people's art skills wouldn't had been amazing back in the days through mankind, we wouldn't have cave paintings, old amazing paintings or sculptures, ALL DONE BY HANDS IN TRADITIONAL WAY. NO AI, NO PHOTOSHOP OR EDITING.

Humans can learn amazing skills if they only want to. AI artists, maybe not all, just wants to take the easiest way / be lazy (and get lots of likes - like that other person who straight forward said it. That he uses AI to create furry arts to get hundreds of likes).

They also mocked my style / arts, saying they are not good enough to be used in AI arts - yet.

Like what the actual fuck?! I am pissed! I don't even want my arts to be used in AI arts by some lazy idiot (or at all). At least I draw EVERYTHING in my arts, from first sketch line to the last shade / light. Surely my skills are not as good as they could be. After all I'm self-taught, not gone in art school like some have. Not to mention I draw for fun, I draw to bring joy to my watchers, I draw therapy arts to myself, I like to keep my style easy and simple. My arts are a hobby, not professional thing or to fish a lot of likes. If my arts can make someone's day a bit better, then I've done my job! I never haven't taken my arts or skills too seriously, trying to improve them to the top.

Is there times when I wish I would put more effort to my arts, learn and study more, becoming better? Absolutely! But do I bother? Not really. Like I said, this is a hobby. I know I would burnout myself if I would start to force and pressure myself to do better, to learn more, to improve my skills. I mean I struggle to draw even now!

I do have some saved tutorials on Pinterest what I would like to try, yes, but still not in a way like if I would have a fire under my ass.

[darlingofdots]

What is a romance novel, really?

So far, the response to this post has mostly shown me that a lot of people don't actually know what a romance novel is, and that's okay! I don't expect everyone to know! However, for my own peace of mind, I am going to do my best to explain what we mean when we talk about romance novels, where the genre comes from, and why you should not dismiss the pastel cartoon covers that are taking over the display tables at your nearest chain bookshop. Two disclaimers up front: I've been reading romance novels since I was a teenager, and have dedicated the majority of my academic career to them. I'm currently working on my PhD and have presented/published several papers about the genre; I know what I'm talking about! Secondly, all genres are fake. They're made up. But we use these terms and definitions in order to describe what we see and that's a very important part of science, including literary studies!

The most widely used definition of "romance novel" to this day is from Pamela Regis' 2003 A Natural History of the Romance Novel, in which she states that "A romance novel is a work of prose fiction that tells the story of the courtship and betrothal of one or more [protagonists]."* People also refer to the Romance Writers of America's "a central love story and an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending" and another term you will see a lot is "Happily Ever After/Happy For Now," which posits that the protagonists must be in a committed and happy relationship at the end of the novel in order to count as a romance novel. That's it. That's what a romance novel is.

Of course it's a bit more complex than that; Regis also posited the Eight Essential Elements which describe the progression of the love plot over the course of the book, and there's a similar breakdown from Gwen Hayes in Romancing the Beat that is intended more as writing advice, but both of these are really useful for breaking down how this narrative structure works. My personal favourite part of the Eight Elements is that the romance opens with a definition of the society in which the protagonists exist, which is flawed in a way that oppresses them, and then the protagonists either overcome or fix it in a way that enables them to achieve their HEA. A lot of social commentary can happen this way!

It can also be a bit difficult to pin down what exactly counts as a "central love story" because who decides? A lot of stories have romance arcs in them, including dudebro action movies and noir mystery novels, but you would never argue that the romance is the central plot. A lot of romance novels have external plots like solving a mystery or saving the bakery. A useful question to ask in this case is whether the external plot exists for its own sake or to facilitate the romance: when Lydia runs off with Wickham in Pride & Prejudice, it's so that Lizzie can find out how much Darcy contributed to saving her family from scandal and realise her own feelings for him. The alien abduction in Ice Planet Barbarians happens specifically so the abducted human women can meet and fall in love with the hunky aliens. There are definitely grey areas here! Romance scholars argue about this all the time!

I have a suspicion that a lot of people who responded to the post I linked above are not actually romance readers, which is fine, but it really shows the lack of understanding of what a romance novel is. I have a secondary suspicion that the way we have been talking about books has contributed to this miscategorisation in a lot of people's minds, because especially with queer books we will often specifically point out that this fantasy book is f/f! This dystopian novel has a gay love story! This puts an emphasis on the romance elements that are present in a book when a lot of the time, the romance arc is just flavouring for the adventure/uprising/heist and we are pointing it out only because its queerness makes it stand out against other non-queer titles. It makes sense why we do this, but there is SUCH a difference between "a sci-fi book with an f/f romance arc" and "an f/f sci-fi romance." I could talk for hours about how the romance genre has evolved alongside and often in the same way as fanfiction and how there are codes and tropes that come up again and again that are immediately recognisable to romance readers, even down to phrases and cover design, and how romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre that functions in a very specific way because of that evolutionary process. The same way that dedicated fantasy readers can trace the genealogy of a given text's influences ("this writer definitely plays a lot of DnD which has its roots in the popularity of Tolkien, but they're deliberately subverting these tropes to critique the gender essentialism"), romance readers are often very aware of the building blocks and components of their books. These building blocks (that's what tropes are, lego pieces you put together to create a story!) often show up in other genres as well, especially as part of romantic arcs, but that doesn't make every book that features Only One Bed a romance novel, you know?

Romance is an incredibly versatile and diverse genre and I really highly recommend exploring it for yourself if you haven't. I personally read mostly Regency/Victorian historicals and I've been branching out into specifically f/f contemporaries, and there are so many authors who are using the romance framework to tell beautiful, hard-hitting stories about love and family while grappling with issues of discrimination, disability, mental health, capitalism, you name it. The genre has a very specific image in a lot of people's minds which makes them resistant to it and it's not entirely unjustified, but there is so much more to it than Bridgerton and repackaged Star Wars fanfiction!**

*the original text said "heroines" but Regis later revised this. There is a very good reason for the focus on the heroine in the first couple waves of romance scholarship, but that's a different post!

**neither of these are a bad thing and part of that genealogy that I mentioned earlier.

[odinsblog]

“How do you enjoy life as the world burns? When the planet is on fire, and the country is falling apart, and the cops shoot another teenager, and half your neighbors are getting evicted or deported, and Bill Maher is still speaking out loud on television, what do you do? I go to the water park with my nephew Miles.

Miles is 12 years old. He is a brilliant, bow-legged troublemaker. I love him despite the fact that he's 12 and still has a rat tail. It's really not that cute anymore, dude. We're not related by blood, but Miles' dad, Kevin, is like a brother to me. So Miles calls me Uncle Josh.

Uncle Josh, when are we going to the Warriors game? Uncle Josh, will you show me how to open that car with a hanger again? Uncle Josh, Uncle Josh, since I'm half Black and half Asian, does that make me Blazian? No, Miles, that makes you Oakland.

It's August, and it's hot, which for the Bay Area, means anything above 67. Today, it's 91. I'm over at Kevin and Miles' place, sitting in no AC, in our tank tops and boxers, watching Key and Peele.

I say, guys, we gotta go somewhere to cool off. Cooler than the movie theater, cooler than the mall, I'm gonna take us to East Bay's water world. Miles' face lights up. But then Kevin says, I don't know you guys. I mean, those water parks, you know, they're so wasteful.

My man Kevin is the worst kind of Bay Area environmentalist. He's that type of dude who will come over your house and use the bathroom, not flush, but instead write a note on your toilet paper telling you how much water he just saved you. That's a true story.

I say, Kevin, it's so hot out here, I could fry an egg on your face, which I will if we don't go to East Bay Water World. Miles says, please dad. I say, please dad.

Kevin says, fine. Go have fun at the park, but take my car. It's a hybrid.

I grab the keys and soon me and Miles are driving through Oakland. We pass by the Trilingual Liquor Store, the farmer's market that accepts food stamps and we make our way through the tunnel and the hills. We emerge on the other side in the valley.

The further we get from the coast, the ground is drier and drier, browner and browner. The only green is the manicured lawns of the suburbs, the golf courses, the empty field of the sprawling county jail. And then we see it and we arrive at our Mecca, our oasis in the California desert, East Bay Water World. And it's even more beautiful than I imagined. There's four wave pools, there's a 50-foot water park, the air smells like chlorine and sunscreen and funnel cake. Delicious.

Miles' mouth is wide, staring at all these things he's never seen before. Carnival games, Dippin Dots, girls in bikinis, Uncle Josh, this place is awesome. I know, Miles. I know.

We go and we jump in the wave pool, we float down the lazy river, we spin through the whitewater rapids until we're totally drenched, grinning ear to ear and surprisingly thirsty. So I go to the funnel cake vendor for something to drink.

Can I get a bottle of water, please? He says, no problem. That'll be $7. $7 for a bottle of water? He looks at the bottle. It says, and he literally read off the bottle, it says this here is bottled and purified up near Lake Tahoe.

This is California water. California water. I buy two bottles and walk back to where Miles is pointing up towards the sky. I follow his gaze and then I see it. There, staring down at us from the tallest point in the park is the biggest water slide I've ever seen. The tallest slide in Northern California, the Annihilator.

The Annihilator is a seven-story, 80-foot freefall drop down all in just under five seconds. It's one of those slides that's so vertical, your back comes off the ride when you go down, so you feel like if you lean over just a little bit, you're done. It's the type of slide that's illegal in 27 states and most of the European Union, but hey, this is California.

I look and see Miles. His mouth is watering in anticipation. We go and get in line.

Now, the worst part of the Annihilator isn't the ride down. That's only five seconds. The worst part is the 30-minute wait in line, standing in the stairs watching and hearing every kid go down the slide, hearing every scream, every shriek, every, oh, sweet baby, Purple Jesus. The That's a direct quote from a nine-year-old. Shout out to Purple Jesus.

Miles is nervous. His hand is clenching the railing. Uncle Josh, is this thing safe?

Before I can answer, I hear a voice shouting from the top of the stairs, Hands up! Put your hands up!

Hands up!

It's the lifeguard, a tall white teenager in red shorts. He's yelling at the girl about to go down the slide. I'm telling you, it's way more fun if you put your hands up.

And the words hit me like a tsunami. It's August, two weeks after Ferguson, after Mike Brown. After those words, hands up became the calling cry for a movement.

In Missouri, people are putting their hands up to protest the police murdering another black boy in America. In California, I'm watching kids put their hands up as they go down a water slide called the Annihilator, and my nephew asks me if it's safe here. It's August in America.

In Detroit, they're shutting off poor people's water. California is suffocating of thirst. Half of my friends are putting buckets of ice over their faces on Facebook. Israel is bombing water treatment plants in Gaza, and in America, we have water parks in the desert. Industrial Almond Farms in the desert, prisons in the desert, my family, me and my nephew right here in the desert looking for anything that could be called an oasis. And Miles asked me if it's safe here.

What am I supposed to tell him?

I don't want to lie to my nephew. I want him to know that yes, some people will always see him as a threat, but I also want him to laugh and play and go get on this crazy ass waterslide.

How do you enjoy life as the world is burning? How do you teach your nephew to hate the park but love the ride? The thing is called the Annihilator. I think it might be trying to tell us something.

And now we're next in line. A girl with blonde pigtails is shaking her head. The lifeguard says, it's okay, you don't have to do it.

She backs away and now Miles is up.

He steps to the edge of the slide, puts his feet in the rushing water.

I can see the brown hills in the distance, Oakland and all its beautiful contradictions waiting on the other side. I wave at Miles, say, you got this. You got this, dude.

And he waves back at me, and when he does, he lets go of the railing. His hand shoots up in the air and the rushing water carries him away. He lets go. He shoots out and disappears over the edge. My nephew!

I rush to the side and look over, and there's Miles at the bottom of the slide, safe and alive and pulling up his bathing suit. He jumps up and runs to get back in line, and the cycle continues. Water, blood, life, death, and maybe rebirth.

I'm still on the top platform of the slide.

I walk to the edge, look down at California, lift my hands, and let go.”

—Mr. Josh Healey

[weirdmarioenemies]

I am going to rank all of the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

That's right! I'm ranking all of them! All ninety-one of these things! Hi, I'm Mod Hooligon, and you may recognize me as "the mod that posted about Super Paper Mario a lot", but did you know? The Super Mario Galaxy games are maybe my actual favorite Mario games! In fact, I've never even beaten Super Paper Mario! I'm a fraud! But I'm a cute fraud, right?

But I'm not a fraud when it comes to Super Mario Galaxy, because I've 100%'d both games, and have replayed them multiple times over! And when you play some games that much, you start to have opinions. And then you want to subject everyone else to your opinions! So that's what I'm gonna do.

This is gonna be a little Weirdmarioenemies mini-series I run outside of our usual posting schedule, so expect a new part of this list every Sunday, until there's no Galaxies left to cover. Today we'll be tackling all the low-tier Galaxies, because there's not enough of them to warrant making three separate posts for F-tier, D-tier, and C-tier.

Got that? Good. Rankings start under the cut!

91. Sling Pod Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Well, something had to be the worst. If you are an ardent Sling Pod Galaxy fan, I am so, so sorry. Let it be known that you are entitled to your own opinion, and that I understand.

But I'm also entitled to my own opinion and my opinion is that Sling Pod Galaxy is Not Very Good! Really, not a lot of the Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game are, we're gonna be covering most of them in this post...

The Sling Pods aren't an awful gimmick in and of themselves, it can be fun to slingshot Mario around, and they're used to great effect in the Tarantox boss fight! But I feel like they can be a bit imprecise, and nowhere does that show more than in Sling Pod Galaxy, where you're required to fling Mario from Sling Pod to Sling Pod with precise timing, and not a lot of wiggle room.

If your aim or timing is just slightly off (and let's face it, it uses motion controls, so it's probably going to be) then you're gonna sling Mario right into the void. There's a cool concept here, but at the end of the day, I'll always find Sling Pod Galaxy more frustrating than fun.

And besides that, it's just not very thematically interesting! It's kinda just cobbled together out of miscellaneous assets, but doesn't manage to make it feel like a Theme the way Space Junk Galaxy does.

90. Snow Cap Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: F

Oh look, another Hungry Luma Galaxy! That didn't take long at all.

I feel like most people wouldn't consider the bunny chases the highlights of the Super Mario Galaxy games, and Snow Cap Galaxy is a galaxy that makes you chase three bunnies, all of which start the mission hidden, under a pretty strict time limit. There's a small chamber you can open that you can chase the bunnies into, but in order to open it, you need to activate a number of Flipswitches, most of which are hidden in the snow, which you need to use your cursor to clear out...

I feel like this mission asks too much of you in too little time, and ends up being another one that ends up more frustrating than fun, especially with how inconsistent chasing down the bunnies can actually be! That being said, I'll give it the edge over Sling Pod, since I think it's at least a little more aesthetically interesting. Bunnies hiding in the snow! It's cute.

89. Stone Cyclone Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: F

If the Hungry Lumas have the worst galaxies in the first game, then World S has some of the worst in the second. I wouldn't say the track record is nearly as bad, I think Super Mario Galaxy 2's quality is much more consistent all around, but that didn't manage to save Stone Cyclone from escaping the bottom tier...

I like a good challenge, but I like a good challenge, and I don't know if I'd consider Stone Cyclone Galaxy good. It's a repeat of the Stone Cyclone planet from the first game (which I do like!), but with all the Tox Boxes, Thwomps, and moving platforms moving 4 times faster. You're given switches that can temporarily slow everything down, and make everything much more manageable, but since it's all temporary, you better be able to manage the faster version once the timer's up!

I don't know, there's a cool concept here, but I feel everything moves so fast when time isn't slowed down, that making jumps between the moving platforms in particular can be really difficult. And when the Tox Boxes are moving faster than you do, sometimes it feels like there's not much room to move without getting squished soon after!

88. Flipswitch Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Yep! Stone Cyclone was the last of the bottom-tiers. Again, there's not really a lot of galaxies in these games I don't like. Now we're at the "I don't necessarily hate them, but also find them kind of pointless" tier!

And no Galaxy feels more pointless to me than Flipswitch Galaxy, which is honestly kind of a joke. Flipswitch Galaxy is One planet. That's right, you get one! This is an entire Galaxy that could easily be a mission in another Galaxy, and even that's being generous. This is a stopgap between two planets in a cooler, more elaborate Galaxy.

Flipswitch Galaxy isn't really frustrating at all, it's probably one of the easiest missions in the entire game, but it's so short and so pointless, that I just wish they did a little more with it, you know? Add a couple more planets, let things escalate a little more, I know you want to keep it easy because of how early in the game it is, but if Flip-Swap Galaxy is any indication, you can do a breezy early-game gimmick galaxy much better than this!

87. Bigmouth Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Okay, quick question, how many of you have beaten Bigmouth Galaxy the intended way? I genuinely didn't know until a pretty recent playthrough that there even were Star Chips in this Galaxy. I always just used gravity shenanigans to jump from the top of pool to the other! I thought that's what you were supposed to do, and that the jump was just a little annoying to get right! I'm not sure if I've even ever done this mission the intended way. The jump is just way quicker.

Bigmouth Galaxy is pretty whatever. It sure does exist! I think it's funny that this is a Hungry Luma Galaxy, but Penguru says he likes to come here frequently just to think. He's been a frequent here ever since the galaxy was born five minutes ago!

What do you want me to say about Bigmouth Galaxy. It's a shorter, easier, more mediocre version of Slimy Spring Galaxy, I guess.

86. Drip Drop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

I'm just not giving these Hungry Luma galaxies a break, am I? Don't worry Hungry Lumas, you'll do better in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

Anyway, Drip Drop Galaxy is a single planet where you kill a few Gringills with shells, and that's really it. The underwater controls in this game can feel a little janky, so aiming the shells can be a little frustrating, but it's not especially hard, especially if you can find the Red Shells, which retain their homing ability from Mario Kart.

Pretty unremarkable, not especially fun, but I don't dread it the way I do some others, so that's a plus. Apparently this is where Penguru lives.

85. Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: D

Wrapping up the D-tiers, we have Bowser Jr.'s Lava Reactor, the most forgettable of the Bowser and Bowser Jr. stages. King Kaliente is a cool boss and all, and I think the sinking lava platforms are a cool shakeup to his fight, but for the final boss of the fifth dome, you kinda think they'd do a bit more, right?

There's not really a lot of buildup to the boss, and the boss itself isn't all that difficult, which makes this mission feel pretty underwhelming. I'm curious if I'd put this higher if it weren't one of the Bowser Jr. stages. My stance is "probably, but not by too much". There's not a lot going on in this galaxy.

84. Boo's Boneyard Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I don't know what it says that this is one of the better Hungry Luma galaxies from the first game.

Let's talk positives first! I think it's cool that they give you a rematch against the Spooky Speedster, and I like that it shakes things up so much. The idea of you getting the Boo Mushroom to become more "equal" with the Spooky Speedster is cool, and I like that they further differentiate things by making it a 2D level. That's all pretty cool!

It's just that... I think this mission is really easy. The Spooky Speedster isn't really all that speedy here, and unlike the shortcut during the first race which you kinda have to go out of your way for, this time it's in plain sight, and not hard to reach at all. Besides that, I just don't think the Boo Mushroom is an especially fun powerup to use in a Race. It's a good powerup, make no mistake, but in the context of a race, it feels pretty sluggish...

83. Loopdeeloop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Super Mario Galaxy has a handful of motion-control based minigames, and of the bunch, I think the ray surfing is my least favorite. I don't hate it, I kinda like how wild riding the waves can feel, but at the same time, that wildness combined with the motion controls can make it feel at times like you don't have a lot of control over where you're going, you know?

Loopdeeloop Galaxy is the galaxy that introduces this minigame, and it's fine. I generally prefer its more challenging variant (which we'll see later, but not too much later), but this works well enough as an introduction. It's just kind of a basic version of a minigame I'm not that big a fan of, there's not a lot to say about Loopdeeloop Galaxy.

82. Honeyclimb Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

As far as single-mission gimmick galaxies go, this one is alright. I like the use of Mandibugs and Meteors to spice things up. Unlike something like the Flipswitch Galaxy, this has a pretty solid sense of escalation, which I like!

That being said, it's still pretty basic, climbing honey walls isn't exactly the most exciting gimmick in the world, so I'm not gonna be that huge on a galaxy built completely around it. I guess the focus on the honey climbing lets it feel a bit more distinct from the other Bee Mushroom galaxies, but it's also easily the weakest of the Bee Mushroom galaxies, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing...

I feel like I don't have much to say about any of these mid-tier Galaxies. Sorry.

81. Grand Finale Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Of all the galaxy rankings, I feel like this is one of the ones I feel the least certain about. Part of me feels it should be lower, part of me thinks putting it lower would be unfair, so instead it ends up here!

From a gameplay perspective, Grand Finale Galaxy is not really that interesting at all. There's no challenge, you just grab the Purple Coins, which are all just out there in the open, and that's really it! That's the star! I don't even know if you can die in this galaxy at all.

But like, that feels like the wrong way to assess this galaxy, because it's not meant to be a challenge in the slightest, it's meant to be this nice little reward you get for getting 100% in this game. You beat the game twice over already, so get to enjoy the Star Festival without Bowser rudely interrupting! Get to spend a little more time with all the characters you've met on your journey before being done with the game for good, it's here as a nice little bonus.

That being said, as a Grand Finale, I feel it sort of lacks... grandeur? I dunno. It's cute as a nice little goodbye, but part of me feels they could've done a little more with it.

Don't ask me what! I'm not a game designer, I'm just some autistic girl on the internet talking about a 16 year old video game! Leave me alone!

80. Mario Squared Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

I'll give Mario Squared Galaxy this: it has one of the best names of any galaxy across these games, and that gotta count for something.

Mario Squared is pretty much just a reused planet from Toy Time Galaxy in the first game, just with the rotating squares swapped out for Flipswitches. And I mean hey, if you're gonna reuse content from any galaxy, Toy Time is a pretty good pick. but also the very nature of being reused content means I'm bumping it down a bit, because eh! We've already seen this before! I don't need a galaxy to be a small part of a better galaxy!

I'm pretty sure this galaxy solely exists so they could bring back the infamous Luigi's Purple Coins mission in Super Mario Galaxy 2, which I guess is fair. That mission is difficult, but it is fun, and I like the twists they add in this game (like the Cosmic Clones, and the fact you have to grab all of them this time)! Fun way to create a new take on one of the first game's most challenging missions.

...But can I really rate a galaxy that highly for redoing something another Galaxy already did? I don't know if I can give Mario Squared Galaxy a super high grade for copying Toy Time Galaxy's homework and changing it a little.

I think it's funny that the objective of this mission is to turn all the blue Flipswitches yellow, so it looks like Mario's SMB1 sprite, but once all the Flipswitches are activated, they all turn green, making the whole thing feel kinda pointless. This is fine because green is a better color than yellow anyway.

79. Hurry-Scurry Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Another one of those short gimmick galaxies with only one mission. I think building a galaxy around these disappearing panels is a pretty fun idea. Once you stand on one of them, it's gone forever, so you have to plan your route carefully, but don't spend too much time planning, because all the ground is disappearing panels. It creates a fun dynamic, that's true to the galaxy's name! There's a solid chance your route will be a little off, so you might have to make some big leaps to grab notes you may have missed. It's cool, I like it!

But not like, that much. It's still a pretty small galaxy all things considered. This one gets a little buildup before the end, which is nice, but it's not much buildup, so the whole experience ends up feeling a little short.

Not helping is the fact they repeat this mission later in the game, but more challenging, and in a galaxy that has other things going on. That does subtract from Hurry-Scurry Galaxy a bit, I feel.

78. Sand Spiral Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

I know I've mentioned multiple times in this post how mediocre the Hungry Luma galaxies in the first game are, but for emphasis: this is the second best one, and it's in C-Tier. Don't feel too bad, Sand Spiral Galaxy. You'll still outshine most of your siblings at the family reunion. At least if you're ignoring those pesky Super Mario Galaxy 2 Hungry Luma galaxies.

This Galaxy gives you a choice between the Bee Mushroom and the Boo Mushroom, and I pretty much always pick the Boo Mushroom I'm pretty sure. There's obstacles for both on the way, so it's not like one's strictly "better" than the other, but I always appreciate the extra control the Boo Mushroom gives me here. After a short tunnel, you lose your powerup, are sent to a spiral planet spinning around a moon, where you grab a Rainbow Star and run through some mines to grab the Star at the end.

It's a pretty short mission that doesn't really feel like it knows what it wants to do, but at the very least, I appreciate that it gives you multiple options, the visual at the end is pretty striking, and making big jumps during the spiral as a Speedrun Strat can be pretty satisfying.

77. Boss Blitz Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

If you couldn't tell already, a lot of World S in Super Mario Galaxy 2 is reused content, and that's a lot of why these galaxies are scoring so low. Boss Blitz Galaxy is a string of five boss fights from the first game in a row, which I guess makes it a bit interesting in the context of the sequel, given none of these bosses show up in the main quest, so if this is your only Super Mario Galaxy game, you kinda gotta figure them all out on the fly.

Thankfully, most of these boss fights are still pretty fun, though again, they're all reused so you're not really getting much new here. The timer challenge is sort of teetering on the edge between being "challenging in a frustrating way" and "challenging in a fun way" for me. Speedrunning all the boss fights can be really fun, but none of them really have shortcuts the way the bosses in say, Super Mario Odyssey do, and some of the RNG in the Bouldergeist fight can make the challenge feel a bit inconsistent (even if that IS the best of the bosses), so sometimes your pace feels a bit out of your control.

It also feels weird to have both Dino Piranha and Fiery Dino Piranha, it's kinda redundant, though I do like having them as the bookends, I guess.

76. Twisty Trials Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: C

Woah, reusing content from Super Mario Sunshine now? Slow down, World S!

For what it's worth, reusing Sunshine content is a bit more interesting than reusing Galaxy content, because it's a different game with different controls and different physics and whatnot. Still, it's not like Twisty Trials Galaxy is that interesting. It's a series of progressively more difficult rotating platforms that you have to keep your balance on, and that's really it, though I do like the comet challenge where they move twice as fast, and you have to use the Cloud Flower to keep on pace. That's pretty neat.

I wish they kept the music from Sunshine. I like the weird a capella version of the Super Mario Bros. Overworld theme way more than Super Mario 2007.

75. Loopdeeswoop Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

"The Galaxy's Greatest Wave". I mean, there's only two ray surfing galaxies across both games, this one and Loopdeeloop, so is there really that much competition?

That being said, yeah, I like this more challenging version. I know that the ray surfing minigame still isn't really my favorite (it's in C-tier for a reason!) but having a more difficult course I think brings out some of the best aspects, like how wild it feels to control! And also some of the worst aspects, like how wild it feels to control! It's still as much of a double-edged sword as ever, just a bit more extreme due to the more extreme course.

That being said, since it's more challenging, that makes finishing it feel a lot more satisfying, and I'd never say it really feels unfair. Sure, falling off can be frustrating given how difficult it can be to control, but when it's all done, I end up feeling more "yeah, I did it :D" than "oh thank god that's over with", which I think is the important distinction between an F-tier and a C-tier.

Don't take that as meaning I'm in love with this galaxy, though. It's still here for a reason.

74. Bonefin Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

The cooler Drip Drop Galaxy.

That's really pretty much all this one is, it's Drip Drop Galaxy again but this time it's a boss fight, and it's a bit more exciting because of it. Heck, you need to beat Drip Drop Galaxy to unlock this one, so the resemblance isn't unintentional!

Since it's pretty much Drip Drop Galaxy again, it suffers a lot of the same issues that Galaxy has, but I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't get boosted a lot from the Style Points, though I also think having a single large target to hit ends up feeling a lot better than several smaller targets. Aiming your shells feels a lot easier, but since it's a boss fight, there's also a better sense of escalation here.

Still, it's pretty much just the boss fight, and I mean, being a slightly better version of a D-tier Galaxy isn't exactly something I'll sing my highest praises about. If nothing else, at least it has a killer atmosphere.

73. Sea Slide Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: C

Wrapping up the C-tier is Sea Slide Galaxy, the worst of the "big" Galaxies from the first game. To quote myself from earlier in the same post, "Well, something had to be the worst." But also not quite like that since it's nowhere near as bad.

The biggest issue with Sea Slide Galaxy is there's really not an awful lot of diversity in its missions. Of the six missions here, three of them are basically "swim in a loop around the galaxy," just with slightly different distances. The Silver Star mission, thankfully, fares a lot better, as does the Improved Version of Hurry-Scurry Galaxy (here it is!) but the last of the missions is one of the boring Purple Coin missions. Mod Hooligon's Tip: If you start a Purple Coin mission and it doesn't have this banger, I'm Sorry.

The galaxy definitely has a unique layout, but there's not really much to do in the water besides swim in a circle, since every mission that doesn't involve swimming in a circle usually has you ignoring the water outright. Would this galaxy be better if it had more swimming? I dunno. As stated, the underwater controls in this game can be a bit finnicky, so maybe I should be glad it's either swim in a circle or don't swim at all.

And that's it for today's post! Do you agree with my opinions? Do you disagree? If you're a Sling Pod Galaxy fan, make some noise!

And if you're looking for the B-Tier galaxies, you're in luck, because you can find those here!

[moonlitphoenixflight]

In Stars and Time AU with shapeshifting aliens (Of Void and Light) [part 5]

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4]

Its time for The King and Siffrin! I've been debating whether I want to reveal my personal headcanons for their original names. I'm going to because I don't know if I'm going to finish/post the other fic so I don't know if saving the surprise is meaningful.

And, if by any slim chance anyone is inspired by any AUs or ideas I have and wants to make a creation: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLE-- I would be very eager to see it please tag me!

Finally, when I say non canon compliant, I am specifically referring to when something actively conflicts with information directly presented as canon.

The Traveler, The King, and The Fallen Star

In the kingdom of Xiriel, it is known to be a truth that heirs to the Iridescency family are always born in pairs. It used to be known that another truth is that only one of the two will survive to adulthood.

One day, the current ruler of Xiriel, Queen Vitris, announced that new heirs had hatched. The Light twin, named Nynrael, and the Void twin, named Ozephyr. The forms they were given were those of humans, for that was the sentient species that lived on the planet Xiriel was anchored to.

The pair were raised as all heirs were, to value power, to hate, to compete with each other. This is not what they did. Instead of sabotaging each other in their studies, they helped each other when when they struggled. Instead of hurting each other to collect opposing essence, they developed ways to give away excess. Light essence could be released in a gaseous form via breathing. Void essence, being somewhat more viscous, could be released as liquid through tears.

Often, the two were punished for their kindness to each other, they were told that they would only be betrayed in the end. This did not dissuade them. When their tutors did this, they would work together to annoy, irritate, and prank them into quitting. Eventually through this method, they were able to find tutors that di not force them to be rivals. Their names were Lexari and Shalyre (they aren't incredibly relevant but I wanted to put them in here).

Nynrael, the Light twin, excelled in shapeshifting, practical magic and combat, and creative arts. With an excellent memory, they would pour over anatomy books, and come up with ways to combine parts in ways that would function as a cohesive whole. After just a few years of combat training, he could best most experts in a spar. They could often be found sketching ideas, or carving small trinkets to decorate the room they shared with they twin.

Ozephyr, the Void twin, favored theoretical subjects, being proficient in magic theory, politics, and engineering. Papers he secretly published anonymously revolutionized many magical techniques. Frequently, he would manage to bring up an idea for a policy or law to an advisor in just the right way that they would bring it up to the Queen, occasionally getting it put into place. Often he would create gadgets, or sneak down to the anchor with his twin to observe how it functioned.

One day, the two snuck out, still in their pajamas, as they always do. They made their way to the sort of spectral elevator connecting the moonship to the anchor on the planet, as they always do. Nynrael sat down to work on a project, a carving of some sort of animal, while Ozephyr started deactivating the wards on the core, as they always do. What was different this time was what Ozephyr discovered regarding the core, the anchor, the siphon.

He found out the way it stole the energy of thousands of worlds, how it would do the same to the planet they were on, and many more, if left unimpeded.

He immediately shared the information with his sibling, and they got to work thinking of a solution. Despite their proficiency in their chosen skills, they were still children, with little experience to inform them of the consequences of their actions. Combined with them having never been taught anything that would cause them to do otherwise, they made a very specific decision.

They decided that they were going to stop the siphon from causing any more damage. They decided that the best way to deactivate it permanently would be to have Nynrael Consume the core.

What Ozephyr had not yet discovered about the core was its nature as a Star. The other thing that Ozephyr had not discovered was that should the anchor be disconnected, there was a precaution put in place. It was put there under the assumption that if the anchor was disconnected prematurely, it would be because it had been discovered what the Xiriel moonship was doing, and they would need to flee.

(A semi-non-canon-compliant aspect) When the precaution activated, it cast a curse of memory, so that any proof of Xiriel's presence would be either erased entirely, or obscured under so many layers of magic that to even glance at it would cause a splitting headache. Because it would be assumed that the anchor would only be disconnected when all citizens of Xiriel were on the moonship, there was no exception to let changelings be unaffected by the curse.

The twins were separated by the ensuing explosion, with the spell causing them to lose their memories. They woke up alone, with no way of obtaining the essence they needed to keep their own from eventually destabilizing and taking a tolls on their mental states.

With no other options, they relearned how to exist. The Void twin, with his mind degraded by his unstable Void essence, eventually started freezing the country of Vaugarde in time. The Light twin, lasting a small time longer due to the Void energy lingering within the siphon core, began looping in time shortly before reuniting with the Void twin.

(actively very non-canon-compliant) When the time loops of the Light twin started, The Star within them woke up. It saw the situation the Light twin was in, and chose to manifest, to help them. It created an identity for itself, and begun guiding the Light twin.

I have some things for post-game as well, so that will be part 6.

[melishade]

Attack on Prime New Age Anthology: Game Plan

Main Story

Catching Up Part 2

Released from Quarantine

Reunions

The humans start discussing a game plan on how to tackle a world without titans.

"I do apologize for everything that has been happening in the past month," Bryce explained as he sat down at his desk. He gestured to the two chairs in front of him, and Kenshin and Willy sat down in each of them, "But we do thank you for being cooperative."

"What is this about?" Willy asked.

"Your world is in chaos," Bryce stated bluntly, "You faced a cataclysmic event of untold proportions, one that hasn't been thought about here on Earth. Your ecosystem has been ravaged, we are still counting the death toll, and there is a possibility that damage has been done to the ozone layer. If we sent the people we have here back home, there is a chance they would not survive due to the drop in oxygen levels."

Bryce picked up one of the papers on his desk. "However, the biggest concern we have been hearing from many of the denizens is whether or not the power of the titans have been destroyed. The Autobots have conducted enough tests to absolutely confirm that, but it's uncertain if the people on your world would trust titans from beyond the stars."

"...you want us to be your mediators," Kenshin concluded.

"More ambassadors," Bryce corrected.

"General, our world is in chaos like you said, and many countries have either been destroyed or destabilized. Not to mention, I lost some of my political influence prior to the Rumbling," Willy explained.

"Your sister was on the front lines, and she sacrificed herself to save thousands of people," Bryce retorted, "I think that has helped redeemed your name."

Willy's eyes lowered to his hands, doing his best not to cry.

"I doubt I'd be much help," Kenshin proclaimed, "Willy's not a ruler of a country. I am, and I'm certain that many of Hizuru's top officials have been killed during the Rumbling, along with a good portion of the land. I have no idea how many of my people are alive."

Bryce pulled out his phone and showed them a picture of their world's map. "The Autobots also calculated how far the Colossal Titans have gotten before Optimus destroyed it. Marley has been wiped off the map for the most part, along with a good portion of the Middle Eastern Region. Hizuru has been ravaged, but the entire country hasn't been destroyed. There have been a few continents left unscathed or barely touched. The region we would call North America had only just been hit by the Rumbling when the event stopped. This continent that we would call Australia, along with a few other islands haven't been touched mainly due to the distance from ground zero."

Bryce put the phone down. "If you have allies, political influence anywhere, then it would help to use that in order to mitigate the chaos and prevent infighting over basic necessities. We can help you provide food and water to the people that have been disparaged, along with medical assistance."

"What do you want from us in return?" Kenshin demanded, "No one asks of something without something in return."

"I doubt that we would be able to provide you anything," Willy retorted, "Your world is much more advanced than our own, and we need all the help we can get. What would you need from us?"

"Earth has been trying to find life on other planets that would be hospitable to humans from Earth," Bryce explained, "Even though we've come into contact with Cybertron, the planet's not hospitable to humans, and titans like them are considered fictional to the wider populous. You've already had the concept of titans for thousands of years and your world has been similar to that of ours. We could start interplanetary relationships. And your world is prime ground to run some tests of our own."

"Such as?" Kenshin narrowed his eyes.

"Repairing the ozone layer, food growth and restoration, so far many scientists have been wanting to test environmental impacts and repairs," Bryce answered, "Our world is slowly going through a climate crisis, and to test out how to repair that crisis on a world that has had their climate completely altered would be revolutionary in terms of progress. You will be receiving a tremendous benefit by having your world repaired at a quicker pace, but we will also be benefitting from this as well by preventing our own demise."

"We could use this help." Willy turned to Kenshin.

"I know for a fact that you have much more to gain that you're not telling us," Kenshin accused.

"You're right," Bryce confessed, "And this information is something I'm not allowed to disclose to you, especially since this a developing situation. But I assure you that this will be beneficial to you if you cooperate with us willingly."

Kenshin grimaced at that before glancing over at Willy.

"We have nothing to lose from this, and we can't repair the world on our own," Willy reminded, "And I think many of the people from our world would like some sense of normality."

Kenshin sighed in defeat at that. There were many already dead, injured, or displaced, and that number was going to continue climbing. He just knew it. "Fine. We'll do your alliance."

===

"Alright, I got the huge bags of chips I saved in storage!" Miko declared as she walked up the steps to the common area of Unit E with four giant bags of different flavored chips along with a bag of Styrofoam bowls. The 104th and Onyankopon were either sitting down on the couch or the floor, with the exception of Jean who was in his wheelchair. They were watching Jack write a list on a white board with a red marker.

"Potatoes." Sasha's mouth watered at the familiar picture of potatoes on the bag.

"Don't be greedy," Miko warned her as she sat on the floor opened the bags, "We have Lays, Doritos, Cheetos, and Tortilla Chips."

"I thought you had spicy chips," Rafael remarked as he continued typing away on his laptop.

"They're not going to be able to handle Hot Cheetos." Miko ripped open the bag containing the Styrofoam bowls, "Alright, dig in."

Sasha jumped at the potato bag, but Miko quickly grabbed her and pinned her to the ground.

"Wow." Jean was impressed as Sasha squirmed in Miko's grip.

"Mikooooo!" Sasha whined.

"Be patient!" Miko scolded her.

"Thanks Miko," Armin said as he got himself a bowl of Doritos, "It's usually pretty hard to stop Sasha when it comes to food."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Miko commented.

"Okay." Jack turned to the audience as he pointed at the list on the whiteboard. "So these are the things that we have to take care of. One." Jack pointed at the top of the list. "Providing aid and relief to the people affected by the Rumbling. This going to be a consistent, top, priority since the death toll is still climbing. Two."

Jack pointed to the next item. "We need to check up on Paradis. Historia, you mentioned you're the queen and the military has effectively been dismantled."

"I don't know who would be trying to take control right now," Historia explained from her seat on the couch, "It could fall under a dictatorship fearful of receiving retaliation for the Rumbling."

"So we need to find out what's going on there and prevent a dictatorship," Jack declared, "Three: hold a funeral procession for Connie."

"Why can't we just do that right away?" Sasha demanded as Miko got off of her.

"Paradis needs to be stable first before we can do the funeral," Jack answered, "Someone could interrupt funeral proceedings, try to kill you, desecrate Connie's grave. Paradis needs to be stable first. Four, we find Mikasa."

"But Mikasa's been missing for over a month!" Armin exclaimed.

"Yeah, that's the problem," Jack sighed in defeat, "She's been missing for over a month, we have no leads on her location and finding her without the technology we have on your world is going to take longer. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?"

Armin thought it over. "She might have gone back home?"

"To reverse Madagascar?!" Rafael exclaimed, "I thought you guys were a hermit country everyone hated! Who the hell would be willing to take her there if there are any available mods of transportation?!"

"I don't know!" Armin exclaimed, "Maybe she went to civilization?!"

"Hey, wouldn't it be funny if she actually swam back to the island?" Miko quipped.

"Knowing her strength, she probably did," Jean proclaimed seriously.

"There's no way!" Miko snapped her head at Jean.

"Maybe we can ask the locals and see if they spotted her?" Onyankopon suggested.

"Maybe, but it still might not be as effective," Jack admitted, "We do have pictures of her, thankfully, but still, it's finding a needle in the haystack. Also, do we really know if she made it to Paradis in the past month?"

"I know that she would have gone back home," Armin declared with confidence, "It's the only place she has a real attachment to. No where else."

"Well..." Jack trailed off, "We'll check the sight of the final battle first, go to the closest refugee camp to ask there, and if we can't find her there, then we can scope out Paradis once we can stabilize the government. That's the bed plan I can come up with given the lack of information we have on her."

"...okay," Armin relented.

"Additional items include Jean staying behind on Earth to learn how to walk again," Jack continued.

"Make sure to bring me back home when you have Connie's funeral," Jean declared.

"Will do." Jack nodded, "We'll also need to have a video prepped to send over to Optimus once he wakes up."

"What?! Optimus is feeling better?!" Onyankopon exclaimed.

"Yeah, we received some texts from Ratchet saying that Optimus' recovery has been stable. He doesn't need life support anymore and hopefully he'll wake up sooner rather than later."

"That's great!" Sasha exclaimed with delight, "We need to tell the others!"

"Pretty sure shark lady's already in the loop if she's with Ratchet," Miko commented.

"Can you stop calling my wife that?" Historia demanded.

"She used to turn into a shark! What can I say?!" Miko exclaimed.

"Once we finalize all of this then we'll let Erwin and Hanji know," Jack declared, "Levi's still unconscious according to Jean."

"Yeah, his injuries were pretty bad," Jean declared.

"And I'm certain Bryce is talking to Kenshin and Willy," Jack surmised.

"Ugh, the golden spoon." Miko rolled her eyes.

"Why would they need to talk to Bryce?" Onyankopon asked.

"Politics," Jack replied, "Want to create alliances."

"And steal resources," Rafael mumbled to himself.

====

Hanji removed their glasses and rubbed their eye before eating the granola bar that was placed on their table. "They're going to execute Megatron."

Erwin didn't reply to that. He was merely flexing the fingers on his cybernetic arm when he heard them speak. "...you want to save him."

"That's the plan," Hanji grumbled, "Or a plan. I know I'm completely outclassed here, and I bought myself extra time in quarantine because of my stunt from earlier. The humans here are advanced, Cybertron is way above anything Earth is, and so many people want Megatron dead, both human and Cybertronian, and who knows how long Optimus will be out of commission before they decide to reach a verdict."

"Something tells me that he doesn't want you interfering in his situation, if he cares about you," Erwin assumed.

"Is it fucked up that I give a shit about him now?" Hanji asked him, "I mean, originally I just wanted to study him, but damn it, he was actually putting in the effort to be a better person to the point I was willing to put my trust in him. But I've heard his war crimes. I doubt Cybertron is going to see it that way, considering how much harm he's done to other people."

"I doubt you're going to get far," Erwin proclaimed.

"Well according to Jack, they looked into his head and saw his memories and now don't know what to feel. Not to mention Buckethead saved some people that he had screwed over in the past, specifically the Bot that killed him before his body got hijacked by Unicron," Hanji explained, "Our interactions with Megatron are making them second guess."

Hanji looked back at Erwin. "C'mon there has to be something between you and Megatron that would get them to second guess themselves."

Erwin sighed in defeat. "Hanji, he came to me as an insurance plan, and it felt like manipulation when we were talking. He ended up forcing Nile to stay after he found out about us, and Kenny-!"

"Hey, Kenny was on you. You broke him out of prison," Hanji cut him off, "But Floch and Louise got involved. With the way that they were acting in regard to Eren, how did Megatron convince them to stay and not blab about his team?"

"He didn't," Erwin declared, "He gave us a choice."

Hanji stared in surprise. "What?"

"Megatron said that he was going to stop both Zeke and Eren regardless of whether or not he stood alone," Erwin explained, "He gave all five of us a week to come to that decision: to join him or leave the cause. No repercussions. No threats of death. He knew that Floch and Louise were a risk,...but he still let them go."

"Erwin this is fucking big!" Hanji slammed their hands against the glass, "Megatron: the big bad who forced everyone to do his bidding or die, is giving organics a choice to follow him?! Megatron, putting his life on the line for organics! Megatron choosing to save those he had wronged! Megatron choosing to save the one who killed him! Erwin, this is a case; however small, it is still a case! We have to try and find a way to fight for him!"

"Hanji, do you really think that you can somehow get their attention while Optimus is in the hospital?" Erwin asked, "And if you do make your case, you are defending a war criminal. It is like defending Eren's actions to the rest of the world he just slaughtered."

Hanji grimaced as they pushed off of the glass.

"Hanji, I need to know." Erwin pressed his cybernetic hand against the glass, "Are you prepared to do this? If you defend Megatron, you will be aiding and abetting a war criminal who is clearly guilty. They can and will target you. They might kill you for defending someone that has ruined so many lives."

Hanji shut their eye in response.

"Is Megatron really worth your life?" Erwin demanded.

Hanji looked back at Erwin, and could see the concern in his eyes and felt bad. Even though the power of the titans were gone, they were still putting themselves in danger once again. Was Megatron really worth any of this at all?

Hanji took a deep breath. "If it wasn't for a good portion of Megatron's decisions, I'd probably be dead right now. Part of me is still uncertain if Megatron's truly changed for the better. But at the very least, I owe him a debt for keeping me and my comrades alive for so long....You gonna stop me, join me, or remain neutral?"

"...If you said they looked into his memories...I don't know how that would be possible," Erwin commented, "Then I'm certain that they did see me. Like it or not, I have to provide a case for him."

Hanji smirked. "Alright, looks like we're going to try and fail to defend a genocidal maniac! The hypocrites we are!"

"Levi's not going to like this," Erwin declared.

"Oh, Levi's gonna fucking hate us for this," Hanji snickered.

(Alright, I know a lot of the focus is on the humans, but we will go back to the Cybertronians! I promise!)

[heyftinally]

Hi there. I wanted to pick your brain about something. A critique I often see of Taylor is that she's greedy, which is something I would agree with. My issue is that her being an a-hole is often conflated with her being a capitalist, that's where my objection comes in. I'm the daughter of a bank manager, I studied economics, I've been investing my savings since I was a child, and I make more money than most people my age. Here's something I learned about making money, after you buy a nice home and a nice car, and have money stashed away in case your investments blow up in your face, any money you make above your monthly expenses, is actually money you never see. They're just numbers on a paper, they have no perceivable value in your life due to the fact that they'll never be spent. What I'm trying to explain is that I believe what makes rich people a-holes isn't that they're good at making money, but rather, that they don't give away/set up funds and allow others to benefit from that money. Taylor selling 10 different versions of the same album and crazy people buying them? Good for her. But Taylor not paying for Ana Clara's funeral and the parents asking for donations? That's what makes her an a-hole.

So, here's my hot take: yeah, her being obscenely wealthy is part of the problem.

1. Nobody needs to be a BILLIONAIRE. No one. They're inherently unethical. Whether you actually have that much cash in the bank or not is irrelevant. Taylor swift has two private jets that she uses like bicycles just because she can. That's unethical. Not only is it killing the planet needlessly, but the money spent on those could be better used being donated to those in need. Her fifty bazillion dollar outfits for tours don't need to cost as much as they do, especially when half the time they look like they're only worth about $100. She over spends just to flex how rich she is, and that money could be paying for the dinner of a needy family or getting a Palestinian family to refuge from the genocide instead of buying Taylor Swift a new shiny thing to flaunt.

2) the way she markets her music is absolutely an asshole move. She creates (often faux) scarcity with five different "limited edition" version of an album, then acts like they're all THE most incredible thing ever. She's convinced her fans that she's some kind of impossibly intelligent god that can only create perfection, and luers them into buying 5-10 copies of the exact same damn CD for not reason. That's predatory. Put the one singular bonus song on each CD all on one with five bonus songs and call it the deluxe edition or whatever like EVERY OTHER musician does. To do nothing but add a single different song is nothing short of greedy. Same with randomly releasing a single of Fortnight SOLELY to try and beat out Espresso on the charts. Everyone already has the album, WHY do they need a single with no other added extras? To stroke Taylor's over inflated ego?

An example of an ethical rich person is Abigail Disney, daughter of Roy Disney (Walt's brother). She donates exorbitant amounts of money to various charities, has started some of her own, and actively fights for more equality between economic brackets. She'll always have more money than she needs, much like Taylor. The difference is Abigail actively seeks to even the playing field - Taylor wants to be the queen bee on top.

[obsessorsobituary]

(very late) yantober post • dividers by https://www.tumblr.com/kimjiho1/736854964315488256/yandere-dividers-2?source=share

Yantober Days 1-2: Love at first stab. (18+)

By Mag 🍟

TW/CW: Yandere is its own warning, written from the yandere POV (YOU are the yandere), stalking, negative self-talk/reader has horrible self esteem

All I could remember from before was the rush of adrenaline. Fingertips and face freezing from my blood draining from them, and I was unable to move. Nothing. That's what I remember feeling. I couldn't fear for my life when he came up to me, brandishing a knife, demanding all I had despite what little I actually owned, my wallet wasn't even full enough to weigh much more than it does when its empty, I may as well have had no money then because that's what it felt like. Living day by day on what little I made.

I couldn't truly fear because I had nothing to lose. I had a basic 9-5 job, no special talents besides maybe scanning two items at once, but one of my coworkers was better than me at that anyways. No achievements besides a participation trophy I got in 6th grade for my soda volcano science project. I was average looking, not good enough looking to be noticed, not bad enough looking to be gawked, just, average. Barely distinguishable from a crowd. And I had the personality of a paper bag. Nobody at my small apartment would be waiting for me to come back because I had nobody to love. Nobody who would love me.

So why… Why did they come for me? Why did they look so mad at him when all he was about to do was take out another useless human being on this horrible planet? Why did they tackle him, why did they attack him on my behalf? Get themselves almost hurt, maybe even killed? Or thrown in jail? Why would they put themselves in danger for my sake when nobody was even watching? I even looked around to make sure there weren't any cameras recording us. And that's when they asked me

“Are you okay?”

I stopped. I looked at them as if they just spoke Latin to me. All I could do was blink at them because it's been so fucking long since I've heard those words. I remember the way their perfect lips, slightly dry from the cold air, curled up into a small smile. When was the last time someone smiled at me like that? I don't remember. But I remember their expression vividly, the worry they had for me. What could they have possibly gained from saving me? They could have lost everything. Their money, their life. I'm a nobody. And yet, even after my attacker ran off bleeding, they stayed with me to make sure I'm okay.

So many questions and yet I couldn't say anything, after such a long silence, I felt like an idiot for just staring. But they didn't get mad at me for being so dumb. They just chuckled, as if it was amusing. As if I were amusing. And they spoke for me

“I couldn't just stand back and watch you get hurt”

They said with a tone and expression full of sincerity that only made more questions develop. So many more. I was stupid for not asking them then.

“Well… I have to go”

They said after another period of silence, waving me bye as they walked off. I couldn't believe it, how they were leaving me so soon. How could they go now when I have so many things to ask them? My life was dull, monotonous, boring. But then there was light and warmth when they suddenly came along, and now I felt like there was purpose. Seeing them all bloodied up for me, ignited a flame in me I never knew I had.

After some investigating, I found out where they worked, where they lived, who they're friends with, and so much more with newfound motivation. I found out that I was particularly good at photography, especially candid shots, with them as my unknowing muse. I found myself excited to get off work, just so I could get online and research about them and all the things they liked. I've been traveling around town a lot more as I follow them through the darkness, they've shown me places that I hadn't even known, and if it weren't for them I would have never known. Not that they knew that. They could never know what I've been doing for them.

But one day, you will, my darling. That knife you used to stab that man that day has opened something else up in me too, something I never knew I was capable of doing anymore.

Loving someone.

Yantober prompt list:

[ghostinthegallery]

Yup, finally time to talk about Trazyn...

I put it off because hey, everyone else deserves some love and attention...but Trazyn deserves more, sorry he is just built different.

It will probably shock no one that Trazyn is my favorite 40k character. He's what got me into Warhammer in the first place. I imagine I'm not the only one who went through the "oh, funny meme steal guy lol" to "guess I'll read Infinite and the Divine" to "can't be invited to parties because I refuse to think about anything that's not Necrons or my new plastic crack addiction" pipeline.

But why is this weird sexy space kleptomaniac so compelling? The answer might surprise you!

(it won't for a while but bear with me there's a twist coming)

Why do we all like Trazyn? First of all, he's easy to grasp. Indiana Jones meets the Collector in 40k. One sentence and you know what he's about. That's invaluable for pitching a character. And then you watch him and he's clever, he's hyper-competent, he's funny. In the grimdark future, this guy makes you laugh! He screws with everyone. And yeah, he's easy to meme, but that's just part of his charm.

He fits into nearly any 40k story too. Space Marines? Aeldar? Chaos? Tau? Trazyn wants an artifact and he's messing with *insert main characters here* to get it. Or maybe *insert main characters here* need something and he's the only one who has it. Doesn't really matter what or why, the second Trazyn shows up he can play off anyone. As an uneasy ally, an opponent in a negotiation, or in a fight. He has an incredible dry wit that makes him super entertaining (especially in a setting where characters can be a bit...serious).

And Trazyn ultimately has pretty sympathetic motives. He wants to preserve, to collect, and tell stories through his museum. Museums are cool! Culture is neat! Sure he's a bit...unethical, but he's far from the worst dude in 40k so he's very easy to root for, even if he's a side character or antagonist.

So yeah, witty, devious, immortal museum curator. Perfect character, right?

Well...here's that twist.

Trazyn is actually (in my opinion) really, really hard to write for as a protagonist of his own story.

See most commercial fiction is structured around a character who wants something, but something else gets in their way. Frodo wants to take the ring to Mordor but all of middle earth plus some evil wizards, orcs, giant spiders, etc. are in the way. The issue with Trazyn (on paper) is that he doesn't truly want anything. Sure there are specific artifacts and people he wants for his collection, but that's surface level. Hunting down random cool space stuff is not a change from his day to day, so focusing a whole story around that might be fun for a while, but it wouldn't stick with you. Because any deep, emotional desires he has are fulfilled. He has power, he has purpose, he has his own planet that shapes itself to his will.

Trazyn is used to being in control. Of Solemnace, of his expeditions, of his negotiations. If plan A goes south he has twelve other options, and a few back up plans, and probably an ork warband attached to his belt if he needs it. Oh, and he's immortal. And can't be hurt. Which again, is hella fun, but how do you have suspense or stakes with all of that? How do you write an interesting story for the guy that has everything?

Enter Orikan.

Orikan is one of the only things that introduces chaos into Trazyn's existence. Orikan can break into Trazyn's house, break his stuff, and get away with it. When Orikan is around, the things Trazyn loves are in danger. Orikan shattered relics from their people's history and Trazyn failed to save them. He tried to catch one piece and it shattered because his hand was metal. The thing that usually makes him untouchable contributed to his loss. That is heartbreaking to read. Sure he can fight elves and dinosaurs and steal the most incredible things, but Trazyn can be made vulnerable in the right circumstances.

The thing he wants throughout Infinite and the Divine is not the McGuffin Mysterios. It's revenge. But because Orikan is his equal and opposite, he can't get it easily. There's an obstacle. Which means we have a story on our hands.

There's another scene that I find really striking from that book: Trazyn and his human assistant on Serenade. This old man who Trazyn kinda...mind controlled into service, but also provided him and his family with the best education, medical care, career opportunities etc. Trazyn didn't have to do that, but he is the type of greedy where if something is "his" he takes care of it. That includes (for better or worse) that human man and his family. Blips on the radar to an immortal being, but those are Trazyn's blips so they get the best a blip can ask for (aside from free will but shhhhhh.)

But that doesn't mean Trazyn can prevent the inevitable. His assistant gets old without him even noticing. The man has reached the end of his life, and that is something Trazyn can't control. And he's emotional about it. Not like devastated (it's just a human after all, basically his hamster just died) but it throws him for a loop.

Oh hey, speaking of how Trazyn takes care of things that he considers his...

Trazyn never really gets close to killing Orikan. He says he wants to. He acts like it. That's the story we set up. Trazyn shoots him in the face. But does he try to permanently kill Orikan? Does he ever act with any true cruelty?

He does once. When Orikan was weak and vulnerable, Trazyn crushed Orikan's skull with his foot, and that's so out of character it's our clearest indication as a reader that something is wrong. That's when we realize the song has Trazyn ensnared because normally he would not do that. He wouldn't treat his greatest enemy and rival that way which is... certainly interesting.

And then of course there's that scene at the end. When Orikan is burned and afraid and unable to defend himself, Trazyn doesn't even try to hurt him. He is gentle, careful, he makes sure Orikan isn't permanently damaged. After everything they've done to each other over 10,000 years (and that's just the events of the book, their rivalry is older), it doesn't even occur to Trazyn to harm Orikan in that moment.

That to me is the real secret that makes Trazyn more than a meme character. That greed that makes him care for things, cultures, places, and people. Those moments where he isn't in control. The combination of the two that means something is at stake. He has a deep love for the universe despite this being such a nihilistic setting. That love drives him to do ridiculous things, but that's the core (I think) of why we love watching him cavort around the galaxy so much.

[t00nyah]

i hope ur ready

A WHOLE POST OF LYRICS FROM (MOSTLY BLACK DRESSES) SONGS THAT I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT 24/7

part 1 (out of ???)

BLACK DRESSES section (LAUGHINGFISH-PEACEFUL AS HELL)

LAUGHINGFISH

She started to feel ok But coming from a place as bad as that was Things can tend to find a way to tag along She didn't leave a mess with her luggage She made sure to stay on top of chores But her new chosen family was just as complicated as the old one was //FEEL SOMETHING

When everything is quiet It's louder than a scream //BAD VEGGIES

And the years behind all look the same Wounded animal freaking out on stage Get so depressed when people say "The more things change More they stay the same" //WOUNDED ANIMAL

Maybe the true self is only true when It could never survive in its true form Maybe the me inside only stays alive Because it's kept safe from the world //GOOD THINGS HAPPEN

FUCK the real ones Fuck true love Fuck being powerful, I don't care What could I dream of that is not made up Fuck this stupid world I am scared enough that I'm not afraid at all //DON'T FORGIVE THE WORLD

I won't sing my song If you find me gone tomorrow I won't feel a thing Doctors tearing up my body God could not forgive As we blink out of existence I don't mind at all Pretty sure we're ending up together

You say you wanna be saved God wanted you to live We're setting the tone Forever going out sad And no one needs songs where we're going I'm not hoping for a fight but I know I see one coming //IF YOU FIND ME GONE TOMORROW

Rook: I feel like a weapon out of control every day Fight the conditioning, blank stare, nothing to say Try my best but it all gets mangled On the way to my brain It's taking over again Devi: I don't pity the body For what? It destroys Rook: The memory of us against the world Nobody else could touch us back then //LAST LOVE SONG ON THIS LITTLE PLANET

The truth only matters if you're honest. Are you? - Man you're so fucking corny it makes me look straight //NO DAYS OFF (those are literally just two separate lines but PLEASE they are gold)

And the stereo connects right back to the mic I think I liked you better still alive I didn't expect in my dreams we'd still fight But I shoulda known and And the highway connects to the road Like the car was a part of your soul That I'm sure by now your mom sold //CAN'T KEEP THE KNOTS OUT

Earth is love But this crazy little thing called love can be a little bit intense //IT'S PROBABLY FINE

Forget Your Own Face

People say nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day - If you got- if you got what you wanted If you got what you wanted the most If you got- if you got what you wanted Would you still be fucking depressed? Would you still be fucked up by the past? Would you still regret everything? Yes. //u_u2

Give up on what you wanted Never give upuPUPUp on what you thought was true to you Unless you find some kind of other truth that means something to you Never give up on what you wanted Never give up on what you wanted Even if it's stupid God is stupid Let's be Stupid: God is here. //Let's Be

T-shirt slogan I'm a t-shirt slogan I'm a meme, I know it I got mean, I know it We learned a lot about Entertainment Tried a lot of shit, still not Entertained Yet. Isn't it crazy to be human? To bear witness to the illusion of patterns? To the illusion of order? To think that all this shit is normal? //NO NORMAL

Colorful and delicate like a paper star Shriveling in the heat of what we are At the end of time, did I do anything? Burning up like an insect in the sun I just wanna be useful to someone On the final day, did I make you smile? //doomspiral

Everything I want is fiction What I need does not exist Everything you want is right here waiting For you to take it What I need does not exist //GAY UGLY AND HARD TO UNDERSTAND

I used to want to mean Something to somebody But people never see The side of you you want to be And when the air is smoke And when the sky burns out I hope no one is looking at me When the sun explodes - I'm grateful for the time we had to do childish things Like making songs: Like this one. Stars shooting overhead as everything in the universe falls apart How romantic, like kissing under fireworks, but... As our bodies burn to light As our bodies turn to raw energy with no identity, uh... Let's meet back here again We can do a little show We can sing a couple songs We can fight over how the songs go I know it's not much For all the things in the world Not much, but let's just have- Let's just still try to have fun. //nightwish

Forever In Your Heart (oh this is about to explode)

The dead hope that you always clung to The dream that someday it would heal you Is there anywhere left to fall? I try so hard to recall hope Ancient hope Rotting hope Can we make something beautiful with no hope? //PEACESIGN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's not easy for anyone We're all on a clear light hell trip But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try Just don't come anywhere near me And we'll be ok I don't wanna see anyone's face I'm dealing with my own shit right now You can deal with your shit somewhere else - Stuck inside a concrete bubble Everyone is "doing their best" I think that it's kind of whatever. But dreams are not meant to be achieve

It's just not enough It's never been enough When the FUCK has it ever been enough Only to dream? //Concree Bubble

I'm just meat without a soul, Without a brain, Without anything, An animal. - The night explodes in the light From a shooting star IT'S EASY TO BECOME DISILLUSIONED WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE And it can live forever in your heart It can live forever in your heart Forever in your heart It can live forever in your sick pathetic little heart //Heaven

I know it sounds stupid for a world like this, People do their best And still come off so twisted up and so heartless And I know I'm grateful if someone tries at all Still ends crumpled up, Scrunched up, like a tossed away love letter but

I think If there was ever a right way to do it I think That nobody's ever even done it //Tiny Ball

But on a clear and cloudless day It feels like the planets atmosphere Is stitched together by everyone's pain And we just breathe it in... //Silver Bells

I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna prove I was wrong about you I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna prove I was right about you //Ragequitted

A little dirt might cover up the wound (Rook) A little dirt might cover up the wound But a little dirt might infect it too (Rook) Infect it too There's no right choices to make in this life (Rook) This life

All you can do is what you can do //Waiting42moro(just saying i love this song the entirety of it but like THIS particular thing is so stuck in my head...)

I tried to offer up my pain to be understood But I don't think it's my pain that can be understood, Or needs understanding.

There's not a lot of pain in the world that makes any sense Maybe people need to be understood instead. //Understanding

What does it really take to want to hurt a child? It seems like it's not much for a lot of people. //Mistake

Peaceful as Hell

it's like a pearl formed from the pressure of all the blood in a world of nightmares it's feeding on love it's growing stronger and coming alive it's so scared and confused but it still wants to survive

it dreams of a future: impending doom it clings to the hope that it might pull through and everyone stares at it with disdain but it's trying so hard every single day //LEFT ARM OF LIFE

im so cute and well-adjusted i know exactly what to say i hope no one discovers i struggle with it every day how the FUCK does language work what do people like to hear?? i dont wanna be uncool but i need TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE - I wanna give people a chance but they keep letting me down I wanna be wrong again I wanna be wrong about being wrong this world shouldn't need to feel so lonely is it because I'm too angry to be around anyone again? //IM A FREAK CUZ IM ALWAYS FREAKED OUT

it's ok to keep your soul hidden keep a secret to yourself it's ok to be a bad singer you can sing a special song all by yourself //BLISS AND STUPIDITY

//MAYBE THIS WORLD IS ANOTHER PLANETS HELL? (yes im putting the entirety of it here bc im just so full of thought about this one)

bloody worm goddess you look so pretty when you're scared to death it'll never change burning bright with fear and hopelessness - trapped inside it again i don't sleep anymore i don't have any dreams i don't have a true form //SCARED 2 DEATH

is it ok for me to be happy? is it really ok for me to happy? is it ok for me to be happy? turn up the radio play us a happiness song - come on girl, haven't you learned how to express yourself? why is it so hard to get you out of your shell? is it ok for me to be messy? is it really ok for me to be messy? is it ok for me to be messy? i don't know how to let it go //EXPRESS YOURSELF

the impossible dream of having a skin everything crawls on, everything soaks in I'll be eaten by ants but I won't feel that bad I just wanna have my body to my Self while I still Am and I don't wanna be polluted by all the violence that already twisted me up //IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

you could say anything that you want I could say anything that I want to you could say anything that you want it's up to you to choose what's important to you

but don't be weird, don't be mean you're on my computer screen it's my world, it's my life i'm a person please be nice - you can say anything you want you can say anything you want to it doesn't mean you're bad but sometimes love is holding back //PLEASE BE NICE

//666 (another one that is just fully in my head, it's so sweet and comforting)

part 2(LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR STUPID LITTLE BITCHES-WASTEISOLATION)...coming someday. no date.

[theresattrpgforthat]

I'm curious, is there any TTRPGs based around music? Either music making, or with music as a central theme.

THEME: Musical Games

Hello friend, I have a mix for you - games about musicians, games that use music, and games that leave you with a playlist at the end!

Spicepunk 1977, by Nick Kornek.

THE YEAR IS 1997 AND POP MUSIC RULES THE WORLD.

From their secret headquarters inside Big Ben groups of Spice Girls in tour busses are dispatched to solve all of the world’s most dangerous problems with girl power and music.

It is a better world, a brighter world, a SPICE WORLD.

SPICEPUNK 1997 is a rule-light tabletop roleplaying game set in the fantastical world of the Spice Girls. Play as a Spice Girl of your own creation and prepare yourself for the unexpected as your SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!

SPICEPUNK 1997 was created by Nick Kornek & Jeanne Elizabeth Vachon. It is based on Lasers & Feelings by John Harper

If you’ve ever wanted to be Car Mechanic Spice, Space Spice, or any other kind of Spice Girl, this is the game for you. You’ll decide on a Spicealty, create a tour bus, and get ready to save the world! Using Lasers and Feelings, Spicepunk 1977 calls the roll where you hit your chosen number “Spice Up Your Life”, which recommends using Story Cubes. If you don’t have Story Cubes, using something like Tarot Cards, a Codenames Deck, or anything with randomized, general images might work as a good substitute.

Sing as One, by Naomi Norbez.

Sing As One! is a TTRPG about being a singer in an up-and-coming group of young superstars.  All of you came from different paths of life, and have varied ambitions & goals, but are coming together in your quest to make music!

This game is inspired by franchises like Uta No Prince Sama, B-Project, Tsukipro/Tsukiuta, and aoppella.  Idol franchises are about fantasy fulfillment, and this TTRPG reflects that.  This game is centered on creating cool characters, quick sessions, and simple but fun gameplay.

Create your very own pop group using this 2-page game! This game uses d4s, d6s and d10s. There are two modes of play: inside and outside battles called Faceoffs. In Faceoffs, your characters will attempt to overcome obstacles or opponents, such as rival bands, rabid fans, or your own self-doubt. You’ll roll against your opponent’s skills. In contrast, outside Faceoffs, you’ll be rolling against a pre-determined level to do things like convincing another actor to participate in your music video, breaking into your manager’s car, or smuggling as much fast food as you can into your dormitory without security finding out.

This game is still in its beta stage, so you’re working with just the rules and a hint towards the kind of setting the game is designed for. If you want to use this game for more than a simple one-shot, I’d recommend using some of your session 0 time to talk about the world these pop stars inhabit - is it in the past? The future? On another planet? It’s up to you!

RoadTrip: The Musical RPG, by AgentDolly.

You are a few friends are going on a road trip, where are you going to go, who are you going to meet, and what music will you listen to along the way? These and many other questions will be answered in Road Trip: The Musical.

Road Trip: The Musical is a game designed for 1-5 players, and while it's recommended that you be actively on a road trip while playing, it is not required. To play, all you need is a way to make a playlist, this could be Spotify, an iPod touch, a CD, or just a piece of paper and a pen. All that matters is that you can keep track of the soundtrack for your road trip.

Each player will have a different role, such as The Driver, the Navigator, or the Snack Captain. Each role comes with a special ability, such as “I’ll turn this car around”, or “Pit Stop”. This allows you to affect song choices as long as they fit certain criteria! At the end of the game, you’ll have a playlist for the group to listen to when you actually hit the road, and you can remember the game you used to create it whenever you’re on the move.

Jukebox, by jarofeyes.

Jukebox is a musical roleplaying game, played over 4 hours, with 3-4 friends and a karaoke setup. You’ll play a cast of characters who are all struggling in their own way against an overwhelming challenge. During three acts, hidden longings will be revealed, grievances will be aired, and songs will be sung. Will old wounds and personal drama doom you all to failure? Or will you change and grow just in time to save the day?

Jukebox requires no preparation and is GM-less. This is a chance for you and your friends to write your very own musical, using your favourite songs. You will design an opening setting, and create characters with their own personal challenges, while using a deck of cards as your randomization tool. This might be worth looking into if you have a group of friends that needs to stretch their legs a bit, or need their roleplaying sessions broken up into chunks.

Super Holo Bards, by anniedisaster09.

Super Holo Bards is A Transformational, Totally Sensational Bardic Adventure game borrowing a few game creation elements from Lasers and Feelings. This game can be played with 1-5 players and has optional rules for a GM also known as the Band Manager if one is wanted/desired.

This is a game about heroes with magical instruments - your characters are secretly super-musicians, using your powers for good. The game has a built-in setting that feels renaissance-fantasy in nature, but changing the options on the GM guide tables and the player backgrounds is all you should need to put your characters in whatever setting you desire. Each player has the ability to cast magical spells, as well as the ability to transform into your heroic self! Be warned though, the transformation doesn’t last - and you need time to recharge after using a spell. If you like Lasers & Feelings but you want a little bit more to the game, Super Holo Bards might be worth checking out!

Damn the Man, Save the Music, by Turtlebun.

In Damn the Man, you’ll juggle the responsibilities of a day that will determine the future of your record store, all while trying to accomplish a big personal goal. Can you confess your love to your crush and find the money that went missing from the cash box? Can you pay off your debt to your parents while promoting tonight’s big show? The clock is ticking and you’ve got until midnight to try.

Damn the Man is inspired by movies like Empire Records, Dazed and Confused, and a love for the ’90s. It’s silly and tender and no familiarity with the source material is necessary to enjoy the game.

This game is built with a lot of support tools for nervous GMs. It plays over the course of three acts, and uses playing cards to help determine what kinds of troubles the players encounter. It includes examples of play and a great outline of safety tools. By the end of the game, you'll know whether or not the store is saved or not. The game uses playbooks making character creation a little bit quicker and easier - all in all, a great option if you want to introduce roleplaying to someone new.

VOID 1680AM, by Bannerless Games.

Night after night, you sit alone with your thoughts, your music, and a microphone. Whether you come to your radio show with somber attitude or joyful spirit, you use the music that moves you to etch something fleeting and beautiful into the big empty.

There are other voices in the darkness. With a deck of cards, a six-sided die and a stack of music, you will build a playlist, invent and interact with Callers to your show, and evolve their stories over as many broadcasts as you like. No matter their motivations, they simply must be heard. In that way, you are very alike.

VOID 1680 AM includes rules for single-session and ongoing play, instructions to have your show broadcast on the airwaves as an Affiliate, and even a way to add your voice to a library of Callers that other DJs can use in their own games.

This game is inspired by Anamnesis, the 1988 film Talk Radio and Long Haul 1983.It aims to replicate the feeling of attempting to make connections with people who can only talk to you over the phone. You’ll create a cast of callers and craft a playlist based on their hopes, needs, and desires. If you want to run through a one-and-done game, you can do that, but this game also includes ways to create a series of connected stories. If you’re interested, you can check out the Press Kit before buying the whole thing!

[excelynch]

are you the king, mirror, ghost, magician or dreamer?

(write the letter of the answer you chose on a paper, at the end you will have the result of each letter)

1 - are you a poet, king or soldier?

a) poet

b) soldier

c) king

2 - choose a part of the song meet me in the woods by lord huron.

a) "I took a little journey to the unknown and I've come back changed I can feel it in my bones"

b) "I have seen what the darkness does. say goodbye to who I was"

c) "meet me in the woods tonight"

d) "I fucked with forces that our eyes can't see, now the darkness got a hold on me"

e) "show me yours and I'll show you mine"

3 - choose one of my opinions about trc that MAYBE you don't agree.

a) the dreamer trilogy has a slightly more interesting story.

b) the raven king ending sucks. like what is that DEMON?

c) adam and ronan were a little quick (but they're perfect anyway, maybe because it was so sudden, i wasn't expecting ronan lynch's secret)

d) declan was right most of the time, he just wanted to take care of what was left of the family.

e) noah deserved at least a decent goodbye.

4 - pick a random thing that was mentioned in the books

a) the pig

b) squash 1, squash 2, squash 3...

c) adam parrish's worn clothes.

d) lampshade dress (or ronan's lack of interest.

e) blue's pink pocket knife.

5 - you woke up at 03:49 am and you feel happy but you don't remember what you dreamed about. later, as the day goes by, you reflect. what did you dream about?

a) I don't remember exactly, just one person in front of me, they says my name and then they hugs me and I feel loved and then aliens take us to a distant planet and I turn out to be that person is a little girl who stole a lego of mine when i was a kid and we started battling for the hand of the cockroach queen.

b) I woke up happy that I finally got some sleep, but dreaming? it's something I'm still trying to remember how to do.

c) I can't remember what I dreamed about.

d) me in front of a mirror and in that mirror I saw myself as a kid. they told me in a calm voice "you can grow up now"

e) a house with all the ghosts that haunt me, they say they can move on now. I'm alone in the house, there's nothing left, but that emptiness doesn't bother me. I like the silence after so much noise.

6 - choose a quote from the books

a) "he threw me out the window"

b) "excelsior"

c) "maybe i dreamt you"

d) "safe as life"

e) "i am being perfectly fucking civil"

7 - ok, without judging the inside of the books, just choose by the cover.

a) the dream thieves

b) the raven king

c) the raven boys

d) blue lily, lily blue

e) call down the hawk / mister impossible /greywaren

8 - which of Ronan's dreams do you most identify with?

a) adam's perfect teeth (i know, i know)

b) matthew, the golden boy who just wants to be a normal boy

c) the other ronan who was born to die

d) forests and more forests

e) a hoverboard that will save everyone in the end

9 - if gansey is the king, blue is the mirror, ronan is the dreamer, noah is the ghost and adam is the magician so henry is...?

a) the one that's left (maybe you didn't care enough to give him a meaning)

b) madonna's number one fan

c) the bee

d) the son

e) the master

10 - if someone came and told you that you were going to die in a year, how would you react?

a) "no shit, sherlock! now say something new"

b) I would accept my fate and live normally. "After all, we're all going to die, I'm just going to die sooner"

c) I would do what I was always afraid to do.

d) "I've been dead for seven years"

e) I would do anything to change my destiny.

...

if you chose king add a point for ronan. if you chose poet add a point for noah and gansey. and if you chose soldier add a point for adam and blue.

now just add which letter you got the most and tell me in the comments the result :)

a = ronan

b = noah

c = gansey

d = adam

e = blue

I hope that you enjoyed and sorry for any mistakes, I'm learning english :)

I was thinking of doing a "which brother lynch are you" and one about the marauders, what do you think?

[chainofclovers]

some Beard/Ted for your Sunday

I shared this little snippet in discord and figured I'd put it here too. :) It's a standalone first kiss moment, although my intention is that it's a prequel to "anchor; release." I'm not putting it on ao3 because I like "anchor; release" being entirely limited to Michelle and Mae's perspectives, but I couldn't resist writing a tiny bit of insight into the Beard/Rebecca/Ted origin story for @boglady.

.

There isn’t a type of force in existence—not spring, not drag, not gravity, not tension, not contact, not kinetic friction, not static friction—that could uproot Beard from his current location. There’d be no point in trying. He’s too happy to move. He’d either succeed in staying put or he’d cease to exist, and either of those options sounds better than even a slight deviation from present circumstances. 

For once in their lives, he and Ted are alone in a room together without it feeling like they’re the only two people in the universe. They’re side-by-side on the couch, each with a beer bottle in hand, each in some version of t-shirt, slacks, sock feet. They are not alone in the flat. Clare is asleep in her crib, tucked into her little nook. (And yes, if Clare woke up and needed him, he’d be on his feet immediately, responding to a pull far stronger than gravity.) There are people in the kitchen, the four or five people—no, definitely five—still here even though the rest of the party scattered a while ago. Above the pleasant ambient hum of people nearby but only barely in earshot, he can hear Rebecca making the case for which cheeses to take back to the living room to accompany the crackers already sitting out here on the coffee table. Without realizing it, she’s speaking more loudly than necessary, using the specific voice she brings out when she’s drunk and trying to be quiet and courteous.

Beard glances at Ted, who’s tilted his head back enough to rest it against the couch cushion. He’s staring at the ceiling listening to Rebecca, a faint smile playing at his mouth. Beard leans back too, listens too. 

All week, everyone kept asking him if he really wanted to host the party for Ted, if it was really all right, if it was going to be too much trouble. On top of single-parenting a six-month-old, is what he assumed they meant. But hosting this party has been the easiest thing he’s done in years. He bought a bunch of cheese, a bunch of booze, paper plates because he only has four real ones. He didn’t have to figure out childcare. He didn’t have to deal with transportation. The party will end and he’ll be at home because he’s already at home. 

“Hey,” Ted says slowly. “This just occurred to me.” 

Beard adjusts his head to look at him, just in time to catch the spreading smile. “What?”

“We don’t have to stop hangin’ out.” Ted frowns a little. “Well. In a couple weeks, but that’s way far out in the distance. Nothin’ to worry about right now.” He chuckles, and it’s nearly a giggle; if Beard didn’t know any better, he’d think Ted had helped himself to a toke of something. “But for now it’s like—I’m crashing at your place, so we don’t even have to say goodbye at the end of the night—”

“Just goodnight,” Beard says.

“Right. Just goodnight.” 

There’s a peal of laughter from the kitchen. Rebecca. Then Keeley: “Shh shh shh!” followed by her own little burst of mirth. 

Ted shifts just slightly so they’re facing each other. Not quite lost in his gaze, Beard asks himself if he is fully aware of the billions of people currently alive on planet earth, the hundred or so on this block, maybe ten in this building, five in the kitchen, one safe in her nook. He is aware. Ted leans closer. It causes Beard to move. All he has to do is angle his head just a degree or two forward from where he’d been (he’s too happy not to) and their lips brush. 

They pull away from each other right away, but there’s no current of panic between them. They both click Save, and just in time. The room immediately fills up—a replenished cheese tray, Rebecca’s perfume, the thwack of a cork pulled from a bottle, closer voices, the dip of the couch—and stays full of everything it held just before.