#I'm actually so terrified of those two Pokémon specifically lmao

[dracolizardlars]

Guys I'm actually so invested in the team I ended up getting (technically choosing, but under a set of restrictions and honestly it was all brainless spur of the moment choices) for the "metronome battle" tournament I'm gonna be in with a few friends. I never used any of these Pokémon before in my fucking life but after carefully thinking about and curating their EVs and such to be the best they could be for the situation, I am SO proud of them and can't wait to see them in action!

(Except for Cheshire Cat. She's adorable but she is completely useless stats wise lol. Everyone has to have a weak Pokémon on their team in this tournament as part of the rules and she is mine!)

Mr Hands hits like a fucking truck IF he happens to get literally ANY physical attacking move from Metronome. The odds are pretty in his favour I find. He also has like a billion HP so he takes hits pretty well.

Dollop is from the "mid tier" pool and I'm using him (I've always used he/him for this Pokémon, he's trans I guess) ENTIRELY because he is a shiny I am VERY proud of, but he also hits pretty good when getting special attacking moves, and TAKES special attacks like a champ. He's the only member of my team who isn't extremely slow. He also has an ability that prevents any of my team getting put to sleep as long as he's on the field (this is Double Battles) which could be super clutch, you never know!

Cheshire Cat has exactly one thing to offer to the team: she has the ability Unnerve, which will prevent the opponents from eating their Leppa Berries. I'm going to count the PP used and send her out with the best possible timing to stop them so that they have to use Struggle and take recoil. Also, being Steel type means you tend to resist many of the attacks that Metronome throws up, which is her only hope for staying around for more than a couple turns because dear lord are Meowth's stats terrible 😂

Misophonia is my fucking PRIDE AND JOY. I am SO excited to see her shine. I had never even THOUGHT about Hatterene much before setting her up for this tournament and it turns out its stats are fucking great! You see, their base Attack is actually perfectly serviceable, so I did the exact opposite that one would do for a normal competitive battle and maxed out her Attack so that it's almost level with her Special Attack. In fact Misophonia's Attack is higher than Dollop's Sp. Atk and of course Miso's own Sp. Atk is considerably higher than that! Her defenses are also pretty great. Her stats are so fucking perfect for Metronome where you are going to be both dishing out and taking both physical and special attacks at complete random. AND! Her ability is Magic Bounce, so the opponent gets Thunder Wave, Toxic Spikes, anything like that from Metronome? UNO REVERSE MOTHERFUCKER! That ability is actually the sole reason why I picked Hatterene, its amazing stats are a huge pleasant surprise for me. I think Misophonia is gonna carry me to victory 💖

[quarterdollar]

for the hyperfixation ask meme 💕💔💎 (for pokemon)

ouugh thank you PC [opens my analysis papers]

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

While he isn't my number 1 (that's Colress lol) I'm gonna talk about Lysandre because he's been on the brain lately everyone say thank you Evolutions and DeNA 🤪

What's always made me the Most Insane about him is that like, of all the Pokémon villains, Lysandre is at the exact crossroads of "this ideology actually exists in real life" and "holy shit what the fuck is wrong with this guy". The villains that could reasonably exist IRL are generally pretty low-key, largely committed to stealing things and accruing wealth and power. The more out-there, fantastical villains are generally so out-there that they are only threats because of their access to Pokémon, confined to the world they live in. But Lysandre? He's concerned about the continued survival of life on earth due to resource scarcity and human greed, and his solution to this problem is to kill everyone and thing not associated with his elitist cult by launching a fucking nuke. Neo-Malthusianism is real! And so are weapons of mass destruction! Ohh my god! This cunt is a Metal Gear villain bro!!!

So obviously he's fucked up and terrifying in a very relevant way, but I also really like that Lysandre genuinely believes that what he's doing is necessary to stave off a terrible future. He is 100% a classist hypocrite, no doubt about that, but his stated goal of ensuring an eternally beautiful world without strife isn't him bullshitting. He sees that Kalos is in a peacetime upswing and is desperate to make sure that it stays that way forever. He cares a ludicrous amount, but his privileged background and ego-centric sense of responsibility prevent him from seeing the actual causes of the problems that cause him so much grief. Obviously no one else is capable of caring as much as he does, and years of philanthropy and innovation couldn't solve every humanitarian crisis ever, so of course the problem is all those people he tried to help who clearly don't care. Nothing else short of mass murder can fix this one guys. Capitalism and the military industrial complex are fine, it's the ungrateful layman that's soiling the earth.....

TL;DR I loooove his specific brand of crazy XY were so robbed of their full potential it could've been the finest Military Drama For Babies the world has ever seen. Also he's 7 ft tall and pairs leather with a cravat like are you kidding me. he's so hot for what lmao

💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.

I really, really do not like Brendan. While May as a rival is written as this sweet kid next door, Brendan has an ego to him and even displays some sexism that don't really go away. I just really hate his attitude and the game forces you to be buddies anyway, like he never gets the wind knocked out of his sails and he isn't even intended to be a "mean rival" or whatever. If he's going to be a little shit at least write that with more self-awareness, like Bede or Blue. Stop calling May your friend!! You are not friends!! All you do is act high and mighty for no reason and then go "aww me and the bestie :)" I am going to smack you upside the head !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a shame because Pokemon is generally pretty aware of when it presents to you A Bitch (my god there are so many dicks and bastards) and I would accept Brendan with open arms if he wasn't constantly pushed as the player's Bestie despite not doing anything to earn the title. Horrid devil child do NOT sit with my kids at lunchtime

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

The franchise features two transgender characters, Akari from 1999 manga How I Became a Pokémon Card, and the more well-known Beauty Nova from X and Y. They're a trans boy and trans woman respectively :0

An unused cutscene featuring Cyrus in Diamond and Pearl was uncovered last year, which is mostly interesting because the game is over a decade old and we only just found it lol. Also his dialogue is pretty cute, though a little inconsistent with his final character.

LGPE do not allow for use of Abilities, but they're still coded into the game, which is how Meltan and Melmetal's Abilities got leaked.

Ghetsis is 6'6". What the fuck

N's battle themes start with notes that correspond the the first 8 prime numbers. I don't remember what they are I am bad at math. But N isn't :)