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recuira · 1 year

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after hours

after hours : a live action buggy x fem!reader fanfiction

for some odd reason, you have no idea who he is. and he fucking loved that.

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chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five

chapter six | drunk. drool. darkness.

her pov;

I felt like an idiot. Like a fool.

When I came downstairs the following morning, with a pounding headache nearly blinding my vision, I spotted my mother collapsed on the couch rather than in her own bed. The kitchen was surprisingly clean, as well as the dining room table. She definitely didn't tidy up after that disaster of a night, so who did?

I walked past the stairs and into the kitchen, attempting to search for any kind of medicine to hopefully soothe the aching headache I had. I sorted through a kitchen cabinet before finding a small bottle of painkillers my mother was prescribed when her illness was first diagnosed. I placed two tablets in my mouth and dipped my head underneath the sink faucet, pouring a bit of water into my mouth to swallow the pills. Stepping back, I grabbed a pot from the stove, glaring at my sleeping mother.

I dropped it on the tiled floor.

In a split second, she shot up awake, groaning. "What the hell was that?!" She spat, grabbing her head while also covering her eyes.

"Good morning," I said as I forced a smile. I placed the pot back atop of the stove. "What happened last night?"

"Why the fuck should I know?" She cursed, laying back down.

"Where'd Buggy go?"

"Home?"

I frowned. I wasn't going to get any answers from her.

I ventured back upstairs into my bedroom where I could let my eyes settle in the cold and darkness. I closed the door behind me and approached my bed but before I climbed on it, I noticed a small green blur in the corner of my vision. Turning my head, I found the small turtle stuffed animal laying on the floor.

I treated my stuffed animals like they were living. To let them touch the floor rather than my own bed would be a sin.

Why was it on the floor?

Then it hit me.

Buggy threw it there.

I sat on my bed, holding the plushie close to my person. Last night, after dinner, I stormed up to my bedroom to be alone and to calm down due to the big fight my mother and I had. Then he came into my room to console me. Then-

"Oh my god."

I couldn't believe it. I practically threw myself onto him. Then he turned me down and after that, my mind drew a blank. I recalled vague bits here and there but the most clear occurrence was that of him leaving. Did I kick him out? Or did he leave willingly?

I touched my mouth with the stuffed animal. The feeling of his lips on mine was something I couldn't forget. For such a rough and rugged man, his lips and touch were so soft. I smiled to myself before falling onto the bed, my eyes drifting to a close.

Before I thought more about all of this, I needed to get rid of this headache.

-=-

I felt so stupid. Like a clown.

As I remembered more about the event, the more my self-esteem dropped. I never, in a thousand years, would have ever imagined myself getting drunk on red wine and then throwing myself onto a man with a red, clown nose. I frowned. His nose wasn't the issue. I liked him. I really did. He was kind and thoughtful for someone who used to be a bloodthirsty pirate. He went out of his way to please me which no one has ever done before.

And how do I thank him?

By making out with him and then kicking him out after he didn't reciprocate. I invite him over for dinner then throw him out.

This is why I hated alcohol.

It made stupid people do stupid things.

I was completely embarrassed with myself- so embarrassed, in fact, that I didn't reach out to Buggy for an entire month. How could I possibly be able to face himself after such an incident? Would I not mention it? Do I shake his hand and apologize and ask him to never bring it up again? Or do I kiss him again and see if my effort will mean something to him this time?

No, I'm an idiot. I ruined such a great friendship due to a few too many glasses of cheap red wine.

I blamed my mother for this entirely- and myself, of course. But if it weren't for her selfish and conniving personality, Buggy wouldn't have been invited for dinner. He and I would still be talking. I would see him everyday like I had been.

I vowed to my mother that as soon as I made enough money, I was moving out and cutting all ties with her. She simply laughed at me.

And so, for the past month, I kept my promise and sought out to look for jobs. Nothing dirty, of course.

I landed a waitress gig at a small run-down pub that hardly housed any customers other than drunken pirates and businessmen. I've only been here a few times before and it was the same pub I met Buggy at. Ever since that night, I haven't returned until today. The owner told me that the blue-haired piratehardly inhabited this bar which I was thankful for. I still needed to properly digest everything and when I was ready to confront him, I would. I just hoped it would be soon.

I was surprised to see that he didn't reach out either.

Maybe I scared him off.

As I cleaned off one of the tables, I tried to ignore the loud yells from behind me. Surprisingly, there was a huge flood of new patrons. My boss told me there was a soccer game and that's why everyone decided to eat and drink at the same place.

I didn't mind it too much. It meant more tips.

The rest of the night went by fast and just as we neared closing, I sat by myself in a corner booth, counting the change and money I made in just a few hours. One hundred and twenty berries. I smiled to myself, recounting to see if my math was correct.

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen-

The bell above the door jangled as someone walked inside. I kept my head low and proceeded to count before I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"We're not closed yet, Y/N. Go assist that customer, please." The man pointed at a booth. "Now."

I huffed and stood up, slipping the loose change into a pocket in my apron. I grabbed the notepad and a pen and started towards the booth.

With a closed-eye smile, I greeted the patron. "Hello, what can I get for you tonight?

"Y/N?"

I opened my eyes and there he sat. "Buggy," I whispered.

I nearly cringed.

His long blue hair was tied in a loose ponytail with the same striped bandanna wrapped around his scalp. His makeup was streaking down his sweaty face. The buttons of his striped vest were misaligned with the wrong slots. His blue-painted fingernails were chipped. And the worst of it, he wrank of liquor.

He was swaying in his seat, his arms resting across the table.

"H-Haven't-" hiccup! "-seen you in a while," He smirked. "You miss me?" His words slurred and his green eyes were nearly swollen shut. I frowned at this and took a seat beside him, nudging him to the other side of the booth. He giggled and his arm lifted before slinging over my shoulder.

"What's going on?" I whispered, hoping my boss wouldn't see me.

"What? Nothing!" He murmured.

"You're shitfaced. Why?"

"I dunno'. Got bored..." Buggy hummed and smiled up at me. His fingers began to mess with my hair. "Yer' working now?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Well, I wouldn't know! I haven't seen you in years..." He pouted.

"It's been a month."

"Whatever. Get me a beer, will ya?"

I laughed. "No! You're already too far gone. I'll get you a water." I pulled myself away from him and stood up, making my way behind the counter. Pouring him a glass of water, I watched as he proceeded to hiccup, playing into the drunkard stereotype all too well. Why was he like this? I've never seen this before. Why did he drink so much? As I approached him, he reached for me. I whacked his hand away and slid the cup toward him. This time, I sat across from him.

He glared at the drink before chugging it all, some water dripping down his stubbled chin. I crossed my arms and examined him. He was a complete and utter mess. It almost disgusted me to see him in this light. Someone I respected so much was now stooping to the same level as my mother.

"Buggs, what's happening here?"

"What?" He tilted his head. "Yer' supposed to be my waitress. You haven't taken my order yet," The pirate grumbled, reaching to grab at the paper menu. He squinted his eyes as he read it. "Get me a sandwich. With... uhm, oh! Meat, cheese, and lettuce." He met my gaze and smiled widely, exposing every single tooth.

"Not until you tell me what's going on," I demanded, pointing down at the table. "Is this some ploy to get back at me?"

"W-What? Back at you?" He snickered. "Yer' cute, kiddo."

"Don't call me that."

"Cute or kiddo?"

"Both."

"What would you rather me say?" He smirked and leaned forward, gesturing his hand for me to get closer. I did, also leaning in. "Your- hehe, your tits look amazing in that top?"

I gasped and pushed him back. "Fuck you!"

"What?! Which would you rather me call you?" He pursed his red-stained lips together.

"By my fucking name, you idiot."

"Okay! Y/N," He started, letting out a soft burp. "Where's my sandwich?"

"You'll get it once you start talking."

"I've been talking! I can't win with you." His eyes rolled. "Women."

I hit him atop of the head this time and he yelped, immediately shrinking down as his arms hovered over his head.

"You're the one who kicked me out! Why are you still acting so mad... I'd think you'd be happy to see me again, but- but, I was wrong..."

"I am happy to see you but-"

"You are? Really?" The look on the clown's face broke my heart. He was so surprised, so shocked to find out that I missed his company. “I-I’m glad.” His head dropped for a moment and he looked down at his lap. “I’ve been, uh, g-going through a lot.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it.” He let out a loud hiccup then clutched his throat. “That one hurt.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

His broad shoulders shrugged back. “Maybe I will. I just need something- uh, something to eat.”

Getting something in his stomach might help him sober up fast but my mom always told me that the only way to sober up was through time. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

“Now?”

“Yes, right now.”

I got up from the table and began to walk toward the kitchen but a floating hand grabbed at my wrist. It gave my arm a tight tug before I looked back at Buggy. I raised an eyebrow but he just gave me a toothy grin then let go. Venturing into the kitchen, I let the chef know that it was the last meal of the night. He was reluctant because it meant he needed to put out his cigarette but he gave me a firm nod and told me to wait a couple of minutes. I agreed with him then went to peek on the blue-haired clown. He rested his head on his hands, his eyes closed. His long eyelashes casted a dim shadow over his eyelids. His lips parted, a small drop of drool running down his chin. Was he asleep?

Before I could admire him any further, the chef tapped on my shoulder and handed me the tray of food. A sandwich sat upon the plate with potato salad to the right of it. I thanked him and brought the meal to Buggy. I set it in front of him then took a seat.

“Buggy?” I nudged his shoulder. “Your food is here.”

“I’m not hungry.”

What? “What? You just said you were.”

“I lied. I want to go home.”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Because the other bar kicked me out ‘cause I had too much to drink,” He mumbled into his arm. “I wanted to drink more but then I- I saw you. So I wanted to stop.”

“You stopped drinking because of me?”

“I was drinking because of you.”

I furrowed my eyebrows together. What was he babbling about now? Before I could protest, he reached forward, grabbing half of the sandwich with a severed hand. He raised his head and took a bite. He chewed for a few seconds then swallowed. He ate the half then slid me the plate. So much for not being hungry.

I smiled to myself and started to eat, taking the last sip of the glass of water I had brought to him. I finished eating then wiped my mouth with a napkin.

Taking a few bills out of my pocket, I placed it on the table to cover the meal.

But then it hit me.

I could pay him back.

“Buggy, I have great news,” I exclaimed with a wide grin and pulled the loose change out of the apron pocket, the various coins rocking against the table before falling flat. The pirate sat up, a yawn escaping his mouth.

“What?”

“I can pay you back now! I have more than enough!”

“I don’t want you to,” He whispered, sliding it toward me. “I have more than enough. You’re the one who needs it, not me.”

“But you said I could pay you back. That was our deal.”

“Y/N-“

“Take the money, Buggy. Please.”

His green eyes met mine for a split second before he reluctantly gave in. He swiped the money toward him and folded the bills before hiding them away in his pocket. I smiled at him, taking the change he didn’t want to keep.

I looked at him, staying quiet. Was he already sobering up? He was talking normally now; he was hardly slurring his speech. “Can I walk you home?”

He cocked a grin. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Please?”

“Yeah, sure. Alright.”

I clocked out of work and helped Buggy out of his seat. On the walk back to his abode, Buggy leaned against me. My arm wrapped around his shoulders as I guided him down the street. He stumbled with each step and if it weren't for me, I was sure he would've fallen. The man relied on me heavily.

The front door opened with a loud bang. A wave of cold air brushed over me and I shivered. The pirate buried his face into my neck. A red blush washed over my face before I helped him onto his bed. He giggled to himself and extended his foot. I raised an eyebrow.

"Take my shoes off, please." He whispered, his body falling back to lay flat on the bed with his leg still straight out.

I knelt down and slipped each of his boots off. I set them to the left of the nightstand. Standing up, I closed the front door and dropped my backpack beside it. I approached the man and took a seat upon the edge of the bed, turning to look down at him. His eyes were closed. "Buggy, I'm gonna get going now. We can talk tomorrow, okay? When you're sober," I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper. “Do you need anything before I go?” I was met with silence. I let out a small huff, my hand resting on his leg. I caressed it. I then pulled my hand away but before I could stand up, his hand took my wrist and he gripped it, tightly. I looked back at him. He was now sitting upward.

"Please, no. Please stay the night," He begged, lunging forward. His head fell into my lap and his arms wrapped around my waist. "Don't leave again. Please."

I froze. My eyes grew wide, my arms levitating above the man.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I nodded my head even though he couldn't see me. "Okay, okay." I dropped my hands to rest on his back, tenderly stroking the fabric of his vest. He let out a satisfied hum and remained completely silent. While it wasn't the most comfortable position, I stayed still because it was cozy for him.

I've never seen him in this mood before. I thought alcohol would make him an angry man, maybe rather devious or feisty, but no. It made him sad. It made him vulnerable. Alcohol took his rough exterior and melted it away, revealing a soft side I've never seen before.

His face nuzzled into my thigh.

I listened to his light breathing and brought my hands up to run through his thick blue hair. I was surprised his hair was so long. It was nice, though. It was silky smooth as well.

"Y/N," Buggy whispered into my leg.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for disappointing you."

A frown stayed on my face. I felt my eyes and nose sting. "What?"

"I've done nothing but trouble you. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I would be this much of a burden in your life. I thought I could help but-"

"What are you going on about?"

His head raised and revealed a soaking wet face. A stream of tears ran down his face, his makeup smearing even more than before. I gasped. He sniffled and grimaced. "I look so stupid, don't I?"

"You don't, Buggers. I'm just trying to figure out why you're crying," I whispered, raising my head to cup his cheek. He leaned into my palm and gave me a small, sincere smile. This was hurting my heart.

"We haven't spoken in a month."

"I know, I know. It's my fault, I-"

"Did you just not want to see me anymore?"

I instantly shook my head. "No, no, no. That's not it at all." I wiped a few tears away with my thumb.

"I thought I fucked up so badly," He started, taking a deep breath. "When you came onto me like that, I felt time stop. Literally nothing else mattered to me in that moment other than you. I didn't even fucking care if my heart stopped beating. If being with you was my last moment alive, I'd die a happy man." I sucked in my lower lip, my eyes burning more. "But it felt wrong. You were drunk, p-probably for the first time in your life. I didn't want to take advantage of that. You weren't thinking straight at all. I-I didn't want you to-to regret it the next morning."

"Buggy-"

"You have no idea- no fucking idea how badly I've wanted that. Since the very moment I've laid my eyes on you, I realized there was nothing more I could ever want. You're perfect. A literal angel." I wanted to tell him he was wrong but he continued to speak, making my heart both ache and jump. "My life was so dark before you. I was blinded by greed and-and hatred. I was a cruel man. But seeing you smile, I forget what for, but your smile erupted something in me. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything else in life other than you. I did some fucked up shit and I feel like you have a right to know." He swallowed then turned his head, facing away from me.

"What do you mean?" Those words scared me.

"Look in the nightstand. There's a book, I think it's the second one. Open it and see for yourself." He sat up and pulled away from me, wiping his nose and eyes. "No more lies or secrets. I want to be completely open and honest with you about everything. If our friendship continues, then I want honesty. You deserve that."

"You're scaring me, Buggy," I murmured and leaned forward, reaching for the drawer. I yanked it open and sorted through the stack of novels. I grabbed the second one and set it in my lap. "Can I just say-"

"No, please look. I need your opinion on me after you see this."

I was horrified.

What was so revolting in this book that he felt the need to hide?

I looked at him, frowning, before dropping my head. I admired the cover of the novel before peeling it open. My eyes widened.

"Read it out loud," The man instructed as he toyed with his bottom lip. He stared at me, not even seeming to blink.

My thumb dragged over the paper to smooth out the crumpled words. “She has the kindest smile. Her generosity is beyond that of anyone I know. She makes me believe in the good of humanity again." I repeated as I read the sentences scattered on the small note of paper. I smiled to myself. "Did you write-"

"Read the next one."

"I've never wanted something so badly in my life. To say I yearned for her would be a complete understatement. I longed for her, I yearned, I desired- In simple terms, I wanted her. I mean, how could I not? She was an angel. She was a siren. I would purposely listen to her enchanting song, allowing my boat to crash, just if it meant I could be graced by her presence, by her beauty. I was obsessed with her. If she found out my thoughts, my desires, she would never let herself be seen with me. I wouldn't blame her, though. I was obsessive. It was unhealthy, I knew that. But I didn't care. I wouldn't say I loved her because I didn't know what that felt like. I've never experienced it. But perhaps I did love her. I didn't know, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that she was the only treasure I wanted. Not the One Piece, no. Not even that could match up to her alluring person. If I had to travel every sea in order to find her, battle every sea snake in order to touch her, I would. I would in a heartbeat." I felt my lower lip quiver as salty tears began to cloud my vision. I used my free hand to rub my eyes before I continued. "A-And she caused me to see the world in color. Everything was so bland and dry but the second I saw her, I could see the blue in the sky and the pink petals of cherry blossoms. I could see the light at the end of a tunnel. If I was drowning, I know she would be able to rescue me just from her words of encouragement."

"Do you get it now?" He asked, placing his hand on my knee.

"You like me?" I asked, hesitant.

"What? Really?" He said with a weak laugh. "Of course I do. But I've known you for so long, Y/N. Much longer than you knowing me. I've followed you before, s-stalked you."

I gasped. Oh. I didn't get that from the writings. "You did?"

"Yeah, I did. I've been scheming for months. Trying to figure out how to talk to you o-or get you to say hello to me. Then at the bar-"

"I said hello to you. Were you there because of me?"

"Yeah, it wasn't mere coincidence."

"Woah," I said in awe, my facial expression or tone of voice hiding how I was truly feeling. "That's- wow."

"If you want to leave, I understand. It's a lot, I know. But I promise I've never properly stalk- well, I-I don't know. I just saw you and I knew I needed to know you. I needed you in my life."

"When did you first see me?"

"A fish market. You were giving a kitten some of the scraps."

"I don't even remember that," I admitted with a light chuckle.

"I'm not a creeper pervert or anything, I swear. I've-"

"Buggy, stop panicking. I'm flattered, if anything. I don't hate you. I don't think differently of you either."

He leaned into me, his red nose touching the tip of my own. He wore a wide smile on his face. "Really?" I nodded my head and rested my hand atop of his.

"It's a lot to take in but I'm not creeped out. I just- I had no idea."

"There's a reason I still have a bounty,” He remarked.

I laughed softly. "Very true."

"Do you understand why I was so worried? I thought all of that progress was wasted. I did want to, I really did. God, I wanted to, but-" The man continued to ramble on before I pressed my palm to his red-painted mouth. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm glad you didn't stay. Genuinely, I would have regretted it. Not because of you, but because I would want to remember a moment like that. I never want to drink again so I can be fully aware of everything we do together," I said as I removed my hand. "I didn't contact you because I was embarrassed with myself. I felt like an idiot. I thought I completely ruined everything. I also wanted to properly deal with my emotions. I wanted to figure out what I felt."

"And what do you feel?"

"The same as you do, though maybe not as extreme."

The pirate cracked a cheeky grin and nudged me.

"But I don't want to rush anything, please. If we do decide to do anything," I cleared my throat. "I want to take things slow. I moved too fast that night and look what happened."

"No, no, yeah. I feel the same way. No rush."

"Do we have a deal?" I extended my hand.

"A deal for what?"

"To do this but take things slow."

"To do what?"

"Buggy, you know what I mean."

"I want to hear you say it."

I huffed and pulled my hand back before he quickly grabbed it and gave it a firm shake. "We can go further with our relationship. How is that?" I smiled.

"Hmm, what do you mean? I'm a little slow, you'll need to spell it-" I kissed him for a split second then pulled back. The expression on his face was priceless. "That's pretty self-explanatory,” He hummed, grinning.

"Good."

"Can I do it again, though?" His hand reached to cup my chin.

"Once," I whispered.

Buggy closed the gap, tilting his head to be able to kiss me properly. It was short but sweet. When he pulled away, he fell against me, his forehead resting on my shoulder. My arms enwrapped his figure and I pulled him close. "Are you tired?" I asked, playing with his ponytail.

"Mhm," He responded, a soft yawn parting from his lips. "You're still staying the night, right?"

"Yeah, I am."

The blue-haired man pulled away from me and swept his legs over the side of the bed "I'll sleep on the floor, I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

I grabbed his arm. "Nonsense, it's okay. I get the left side, though."

Buggy grinned, nodding his head. "Yes, ma'am."

I peeled my shoes off, setting them next to his as he began to unfold the sheets. He pulled the blankets back and climbed underneath them. I crawled beside, pushing my legs under the thin blankets. Turning to face Buggy, I tucked my arm under the pillow.

"I'm sorry for being like this, by the way. For being drunk."

"It's okay, just try to stop. If it's okay."

"It is," He whispered while stretching his arm out, slyly letting it sling over my waist. I smirked.

"You were kind of funny, though."

"How so?"

"Slurring your words, repeating yourself, tripping everywhere."

"What can I say? They don't call me a clown for nothing."

"I think the nose and makeup gave you that reputation."

"Nose?" He cocked an eyebrow upward.

"D-Did I say nose? I meant, uh, your hair!"

"Mhm, sure." Buggy tugged me toward him, my face coming into contact with his chest. He let out a groan as he made himself comfortable. "I hope this isn't moving too fast. I'm cold."

"No, this is perfect," I replied with a sheepish smile.

My eyes closed and I shrugged my shoulders back while exhaling a sigh. I was cold but the warmth of his body soothed my goosebumps. I rested my forehead against his abdomen and felt myself beginning to drift off. His chin plopped upon my head and his hand combed through my hair.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" He whispered, his voice raspy as exhaustion took over.

"We'll figure that out when tomorrow arrives. For now, I need sleep."

"Do you work tomorrow?"

I shook my head, whispering a simple 'no'.

"Sorry, I'll let you sleep."

I smirked to myself and tucked myself closer into him.

"Sweet dreams, Y/N," He mumbled as he kissed atop my head.

With those words and the sound of his heartbeat and breathing, I found myself falling asleep. I ignored the stench of alcohol coming from his person and focused on everything else I enjoyed about him.

In one last resort to get comfortable, I turned over, pressing my back against his front. My legs entangled with his and his arm slipped underneath my own. He held my hand.

The last thing I remember was him placing a kiss on the back of my head and then I fell unconscious.

#buggy x reader #buggy smut #buggy #x reader #op buggy #one piece live action #captain buggy #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #buggy the genius jester #opla buggy #one piece buggy #buggy opla

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sickuma · 1 year

Note

Hello, this maybe kinda out of the fiction you always write. But can i ask for some doctor x reader fanfiction? Make it angst please, i will pay for my therapy bills!! 😁😁😁

PATIENT AT ROOM 224 — a Miguel O'hara fiction.

❱ The first actual request ill cover! I have a few lined up but I wanted to do this one first since I got the idea^^ tysm for the request <3 I hope this is to your liking (●'◡'●) Also if some things don't make sense, I barely know things about hospitals pardon me, I'm 15 and have yet to learn more about such gaahhh this one is pretty long!

ꜝ？ Warning. . angst! mentions of chronic illness, death, and such. ﹟paring | doctor Miguel x patient reader

➴ SYNOPSIS — You suffer from an illness without a cure, and your doctor Miguel tries hard to fasten the pace of formulating that cure. Time is not in your favor, you have one wish and it's to see the ocean for the last time. Along with your goodbyes, he revealed a confession.

NEPENTHE — (n.) An ancient Greek word, nepenthe is defined as a medicine for sorrow. It is a place, person, or thing, which can aid in forgetting your pain and suffering.

It’s been four years,

Four years since the hospital became your home, four years since this became your reality. Exactly four years since you’ve been a prisoner of your own health, in constant risk of losing your life. It took a while to accept, but four years have passed, and you knew there was nothing else you can do but sit and wait for the inevitable.

A part of you never let go of that speck of hope,

Maybe you still have a chance, maybe you can still live. You want to live. Despite being quiet and accepting of your situation, the fear was undeniably there, and it grows every day. You don't want to die, you’re scared, it’s frightening.

It seems you’re not the only one feeling that way,

In front of you stood your doctor, Miguel. He’s been in charge of you for years now, he’s been there since the very beginning. It’s starting to feel like he’s the only person you have ever since your family seldom visited. He had a nonchalant disposition, a permanent scowl on his face, and yet he feels homely.

“vitals are stable,” he spoke flatly, scribbling something on his paper. He had the glasses he wears on certain occasions, looking serious as always.

On most days he’s kept to himself, and on some rare occasions, he would speak to you. Things that aren't needed for your health, basic conversations that brought your head out of your wilting life. You appreciated that, knowing he isn't the type to converse or talk about personal topics. You always notice how his eyes look when he’d lay them on you,

Sorrowful? You’re unsure. But there’s definitely a hint of sadness in them, the type of look someone gives when they need to get something off their chest as if he needed to say something urgent. He never does.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, placing his clipboard down the table. Looking at you expectantly, his tone was gentler, softer, something his colleagues would find unusual. You smile at him like you always do, which he always found pleasant. “Just like the usual.” “No aches? How about your difficulty with breathing?”

“None.” you lie, You know it’s stupid to be lying to your own doctor but the last time you told him about it, he looked destroyed. You find out he didn't sleep a wink that week, checking the lab and giving them consistent assistance in finding the cure. Breathing isn't that hard—you've grown used to it. You didn't want to cause him that state ever again. You're aware of your condition, and you can almost predict what the future will be, there was no need to stress him out more than he already is.

He looked at you, searching for any signs of lies only for you to chuckle at him. Stifling a laugh which actually made it difficult to breathe, but that didn't matter. “I’m feeling great.”

He sighed, taking his glasses off to massage his temple. “Are you okay?” you ask, tilting your head slightly. “Just worried.” you smile at his response, it’s nice to know someone cares enough to worry for you. But surely he’s only doing it for the sake of his job, it’s his duty to worry for you, still it felt nice.

“Do you think I’ll ever see the ocean again? I want to visit the beach, is there a chance?” you drift the subject subtly. It was your turn to look at him expectantly, for a brief moment he had a look of guilt, you know well why. “If I can, I want to see the ocean again.”

“Soon,” he mumbles, turning away from you to open a drawer. “You just—I’ll take you there. When things get a little loose, I’ll take you to see the ocean.”

“You will?”

He was shaken, stumped but he can't let you see that. Gathering what’s left of his solace, solace which you've been providing for the last few years. "We'll see the ocean."

"That's a promise."

The reason why he’s so gentle with you, why he sugarcoats the rough truth as much as he can, why he promises you such things, he doesn’t know why. With you he feels a sense of solace, was it when you speak? The sound of your voice? that mellow look in your eyes? What is it? Countless sleepless nights were earned simply because he tries to find the answer, no matter how much he distances himself to do his job properly and realistically,

You would always be sitting up on that bed, glancing up at him with your tired expectant eyes accompanied by the gentlest smile he has ever come across with. Before he knows it, he’s promising you a cure that probably won't be formulated until a few years. Until you’re not able to wake anymore.

“Rest up, I’ll do another test tomorrow.” “Do you really promise?” you pry, looking up at him with a smile. A genuine one.

“Yeah, I promise.”

﹐

“The patient at room 224, [name] right?” another doctor spoke from behind him, stopping him dead in his tracks, hearing your name. “Their vitals. It wasn't stable.” “You’re lying to them, Miguel.”

Miguel breathes in, turning to look at the owner of the voice. His gentle complexion faded away, replaced by his common scowl. “How long will you foolishly wait for this cure?”

"It takes years, Miguel. Centuries even, to formulate a cure, you of all people know that." the man spoke with worry, Miguel knew he was only concerned and yet he felt almost enraged.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"This isn't about opinions. That person, they're suffering. God, we need to let them rest, we have the family's wish." argued the man, he now had a frown on his face clearly unsure of Miguel’s intentions. “You’re letting their weak heart grasp on a false hope.”

"What about their wish?" he was angry, and he expressed it freely. “The family’s wish? The same family who barely visited them?”

He breathes in his frustration, he can't afford to lose his cool. Especially now that you're in a terrible state.

His colleague was silenced. Looking at him with hesitance.

"Why are you insisting so much? You're a doctor, they're your patient. You have a duty."

"That duty is to protect and keep them alive," Miguel interjects, he’s had enough of this argument, he hated it. He hated how right his colleague was, and yet he choose to be stubborn. "They want to live."

"And I'll make sure of that."

"You have never been this determined for a patient, especially when you know full well what the outcome will be." he waved his hand upwards, stressed at Miguel’s foolish antics "It's inevitable. It's a chronic illness for God's sake."

For the first time, he's stumped, he doesn't have the answer. All he knows is that he wants to keep you alive, he needs to keep you alive,

For your sake or his?

He stares at you, lying on the bed just as you've been for half of the year. Exhaustion is evident even with your sleeping form, Your life was faltering, you know it, He knows it. And yet for some reason, it's a fact he can't accept. For years of his profession, not once has he cared this much for a person.

It was more than that.

For years of working in this hospital, not once has he been fazed over a patient's condition. No matter how heartless that sounded, he never cared to this extent.

Yet the idea of putting you down hunts him. The idea of putting you down as if you're some sort of animal without control over your own life, without a say in your own life. It taunts him,

To the point he struggles to sleep, often staying up to check up on the cure's status. Staying up worrying about the passing time,

"If I can, I want to see the ocean again."

His eyes squint in conflict, memories of your sorrowful wish passing through his mind. If he could show you the ocean, he would. If he could show you the world you missed out on, he would. You deserved it, more than anyone, you deserved everything he can give.

He felt enraged, not because of the workload he has to push through. But for not knowing why it hurts him so much to witness you wilt, he feels confused and conflicted. The growing ache in his heart adding up to his stress,

“I'll talk to them tomorrow Miguel.” his colleague decided sternly, “ill tell them the truth and they will decide. You can watch but you can’t oppose.”

He walks away, leaving Miguel before he could even respond or disagree. Frustration surges through him though it can't compare to how helpless he felt. This was his only way of helping you, even that can get taken away, it feels like a stab in the throat. Slamming his office door shut, he sat on the chair, palming his face. “fuck.”

﹐

“What's happening here?”

Miguel spoke with a perplexed look, there were about 4 people inside your room. Papers in their hands. While you laid on the bed, signing the papers obediently, looking even weaker than the day before. “Miguel!”

You greet him with that stupid smile you always have, why were you smiling? Miguel could feel his nerves rise, seeing all the people and how they looked at him with fright.

“[name] what’s this?” he looks at you, pushing through the people to draw near you.

“They're fixing the documents for the euthanasia.”

He didn't open his mouth to speak for a few minutes, gathering enough strength and making sure he heard you correctly. “Get the hell out.”

He didn't need to repeat it, a man took the signed papers from you and everyone left the room shortly. Leaving you with an angry man who used to be the gentle Miguel who visited you daily to promise you a better life. “Why?”

He asks. He knew he was acting out of line as your doctor. But at this moment he wasn't your doctor, he was Miguel. The man who soothes your sleepless nights, the man who sticks with you even off duty, the only man who cared enough. He didn't say anything else, he simply looked at you with disappointment and sadness,

“They told me the pain only gets worse from here,” you humor a laugh. “If there's a worse pain than what i have right now, I don't think—I can only imagine what that would be like.”

“You didn't wanna die.” he interrupts, a frown evidently shown on his face. “You told me, you're scared.”

He looked almost devastated, well he is. It was obvious just from the look of his eyes, he wanted you to answer, and he wanted you to answer truthfully.

You breathe in, the smile falling soon enough. “I know, I am, I really am scared.”

“But I've been—it’s been like this for four years, how long will I trap myself in this situation? How long will I keep making myself suffer? Im just… tired. I want to live, I really do but if living means staying inside the hospital walls and consisting of lab tests, excruciating pains, and breathing difficulty, then I don't think that’s living at all.”

He looks away, dawning on him just how selfish he sounded. Asking you why, barging in hoping to convince you otherwise. It was selfish of him. All this time he was focused on what he wanted and needed, constantly going to extents just to save you for his sake,

He nods, “I'm sorry I just—” he paused looking back at your eyes. I really wanted you to stay he wanted to say it out loud, but he felt it was not necessary. “When is it?”

“Tomorrow.”

His eyes widened briefly, looking at her with disbelief once again. “So soon?” his voice was weak, a fleeting look of desperation in his eyes.

“I asked for that.” you looked away fiddling with the blankets. That’s when he noticed you weren't sitting up like you usually were, if his predictions were correct it was because your body was too weak to manage sitting up. It was once again this illness, slowly eating away your life against your will,

He felt his heart sink deeper, feeling more affected than he ever was. He wanted to shout, he wanted to convince you to retract your signage, anything to make you stay, but that wasn't his decision to make.

It was yours, it was your right.

He won't defy you as everyone else did. If it’s truly what you wish then he would support you, no matter how heavy it feels to the heart, he’ll wholeheartedly support you like he always has.

“Then…”

He pauses, causing you to look back at him weakly waiting for him to continue.

“I promised to take you to see the ocean right.”

It was his turn to look away, suppressing the tears that threatened to fall. Its been decades since he last cried, yet he finds himself weak for you, refusing to let the tears fall. Not wanting you to see just how affected he was, he didn't want you to worry knowing you will.

“Let's go see the ocean, okay? Before you go,” he had to pause every few seconds, afraid another word will cause him to break down. "Like I promised."

“Let’s go see the ocean together.”

﹐

It was almost dawn, he never left your room ever since that conversation. He stayed all day and during the night, watched you fall to sleep, rubbing the back of your hand as you doze off. He felt his heart break with every passing hour,

Knowing that it’ll come eventually. The time he’ll have to let you go.

He watched as your calm expression fall to slumber, it was the first time he’s ever seen you so serene. You would always have this tired expression as if everything in the world pained you, for some reason he knew some parts of that was true. This life truly failed you, you deserved better.

Yet you smiled and accepted your fate. He could remember just how happy you looked when he broke the news about the ocean,

At that moment, he witnessed genuine happiness from you. It was the first time he saw your full smile, it wasn't a half smile, not a small one, it was real. And he loved it, he wanted to look at it forever, to admire it as much as he can. Perhaps that's what made this so bittersweet,

Despite his desire for you to stay, he prioritized what you wanted, what you needed.

As long as you’re happy, he's at peace.

“[name], it’s time to go,” he whispers, gently waking you up. Stuffing his keys deep into his pocket, “Let’s go see the ocean, amor.”

He didn't care about what he was saying nor what he just called you, he was just focused on fulfilling your wish. He needed to hurry before the sunrise, he wanted to watch it with you. If this would be the last sight you see before you go, he wanted it to be the most beautiful youve ever seen.

Your eyes fluttered open, greeted by Miguel picking your limp body up in his arms to carry you toward his car. He was gentle, careful not to hurt or cause you discomfort, it made your heart leap with joy and ache at the same time,

“We’re going to see the ocean now?” you ask excitedly, a bit of rasp to your voice from the sleep. His face scrunched up, biting his lip to suppress his emotion.

“Yes,” he responds, attempting to sound just as thrilled as you are. “Yes, we are.”

The drive wasn't long, nor was it eventful. It was mostly silent, with a few remarks from you ranting about how much you loved the beach as a child and how excited you are to see it along with the sunrise. He was fulfilling two wishes of yours, you couldn't be more grateful.

On the other hand, he drove silently. Responding to your stories ever so often, occupied with his sinking heart. He was happy, truly, seeing you look so lively,

It was the most life he’s ever seen from you in your four years of seeing each other in the hospital walls. It hurts him a tad bit, how easily pleased you are, how failed you are by everything in your life.

He had to gather himself, he needs to be happy for your sake. Seeing you peer through the window with a smile, it was like your eyes were shining with excitement, it caused a bittersweet smile to his lips. “We’re here.”

The two of you were just in time, a few minutes before dawn passes with the sunrise on its way. He carefully picked you up from the car, seeing your smile from the corner of his eyes, it was the brightest, at least the brightest smile he's ever seen from you. And you smiled a lot all throughout that four years.

He felt the sand sinking his shoes as he walked with you in his arms, walking until he reached a spot he deemed perfect. “I can stand,” you eagerly spoke, looking at him expectantly.

He would've refused if this was just a normal day, but this was your last day. He wouldn't reprimand you any joy you want. With support, he drops you carefully, holding your waist and your hand on the other. Your legs trembled, they hurt but you ignored it, too busy looking ahead to even feel the excruciating pain all throughout your body. He made sure to hold and support you properly,

“It’s pretty,” you mumble, mesmerized by how the sun slowly made its way to exposure.

You looked ahead, while he looked at you. “It is.”

He knew it wouldn't be long until the tears form, so he savored the moment to admire your face before his eyes blur out with tears. “Should we sit?”

You nod, looking at him briefly before you return your gaze to the front. Taking in the breeze and the scenery, it was painful yet beautiful. You wouldn't ask for more,

“Thank you, Miguel.”

He was silent, letting you speak. “I never thought I could be this happy, but I’m really really happy. My heart could jump!” chuckling at your own words, you turned to him. Tears were evident from your eyes, he disliked it, it made his tears threaten to fall as well. “I really really am happy. Truly.”

“No,” he spoke, looking ahead this time. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for everything.”

You looked at him in confusion, letting out a short laugh. “But for four years i was just at that very bed. What did I do for you worth gratifying for?”

“Existing.” he says calmly, “thank you for existing.”

It was your turn to be quiet, looking at him and observing his expression carefully. It was the first time he outwardly showed emotions, tears brimming in his eyes. They made yours fall even more. “Thank you for existing and waking my heart.”

“Waking… your heart?”

“Yes,” he responds, with a smile. The very first time you saw his smile, it was a sight truly. A beautiful one, almost on par with the ocean and the sunrise. “Thank you for making me love again.”

His words were unexpected but you kept quiet, taking in his confession. He was pouring his heart out, calmly and painfully. It was almost confusing, yet it was beautiful.

“I loved you the moment you smiled at me. The moment you looked at me in a way only you will—I know it’s odd, I know it’s unusual but I haven't stopped loving you since.” he looked back at you, holding you in his arms as you both sat on the sand.

He had a look of hurt, but a look of acceptance mixed in with a thousand emotions he had on display “When I look at you, I don't want to look at anything else but you.”

“I want to care for you, I wanted to protect you—I wanted to save you.” he was letting himself cry. For the first time in years, he allowed himself to be vulnerable “I won't ask you to return that love. Because it's yours and yours only.”

“Miguel.” you barely whispered, ignoring the pain that gnawed on your body.

“I'll keep loving you,” “I'll love you today, ill love you tomorrow, I'll love you forever.”

You both were a crying mess and for some reason, it felt right. The serene breeze of the ocean, the light of the sunrise. It was a perfect moment, the pain was indescribable but none of you would have wanted anything else at this moment. You didn't speak, only looked at him as he does to you. Even without words he knew, the way you stared at him with tears-stained eyes, he knew you understood, he knew you heard him.

He stifles a short laugh, “It's a bit unfortunate for me but if I were to fall in love once more, I’ll choose you over and over again.”

You laid your head on his chest, letting him hold you in your last moments. Closing your eyes, pushing out the tears which didn't seem to stop,

“Until I'm nothing but a fading memory to this world, ill keep loving you even then.”

“If I was given a chance to live, I would have wanted to spend it with you like this as well.” you smile at his chest, intertwining your fingers with his. Feeling yourself falter and falter every passing moment, “There wasn't a moment where your love wasn't reciprocated, Miguel.”

He held you, tightly but gently. Tight enough to not let you go, gently enough to allow you to feel his love. Your words strike his heart in every right way, in every painful way.

“Thank you for unknowingly saving me.”

As the sun rise, the silence of the place allowed him to grieve, giving him space to accept what has passed. He stared ahead, caressing your hair gently, as you depart in his arms. Where you belonged, where you wanted to be.

It was a wonder why the skilled doctor always had a scowl on his face, who knew the patient at room 224 was all it takes to wake his sleeping heart.

this was a fun to write (●'◡'●) bandaids for everyone?

( :̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

this is unedited!!!

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camlovesjace · 5 months

Text

JEALOUSY ! Modern JacexOc!fem

Warning: smut, jealousy issues, dirty talk (with kindness, i guess), oral sex (both receiving) (Also, this is the first smut i had wrote so...let me know how i did it) Couple: Jacaerys Velaryon x Deianira Targaryen (characters from Hate Me fanfiction on wattpad, but modern au) Summary: Jace had been jealous of everything lately, one Friday he asks Deianira to stay in his place even when he is busy studying but then she receives multiples texts he gets even more jealous and curious.

Original fic characters:

Her eyes moved toward his back, Jacaerys was sitting in his desk writing down into the paper. The blonde girl was laying on his bed, with one of his larges shirts and just dark panties on under that. He seemed to focused on his homework from college, she didn't knew he was seeing her by the edge of his eye, unable to keep his eyes away from her for too long. He was very aware of Deianira presence in his bed, almost like if she were waiting for him. He had to gasp and try to get focused into the words to not get hard at the thought of taking her as his.

She grabbed her phone and just started to scroll over social media, he was studying and she chose to stay quiet to not disturb him. But then her phone started to rang over and over, she could barely noticed who was before feel Jacaerys weight getting into bed, right beside her and moving his face to read the message.

"Who is bothering you?" he asks, trying to hide his possessiveness over her. Deianira smiles and puts her phone down, looking into his brown honey eyes.

"It´s private" she says, almost giggling for his reaction. She wasn't mad, she even like how he seemed to be like this, he was smiling too with that cocky expression on his face.

"I'm your boyfriend....so I want to know who's messaging my girl. Is that too much for me to ask?" Jace teased as he softly smirked and looked back at her, his hands moving toward her throat, caressing the little scar on her skin. The white haired girl smiles widely when his fingertips starts to move down, until they stop on the top of her pantie.

"You're so damn nosy" she says, giggling and giving him her phone. He could only see some few messages from the girls chat group, Helaena, Baela, Rhaena and even Bellaera Snow. He laughs at himself and then gives her the phone back again, chuckling.

"Okay, maybe I am" he admits, pulling her closer and laying beside her in the mattress. He holds her by the waist and puts his leg in between hers, making sure to rub her clit softly with his knee. The girl sighs softly in pleasure, trying to move her hips to get more of him but the black haired boy put a hand on her hip, stopping her "But you like how nosy i am, don´t you?" he tease.

Deianira smiles and feel his knee, making her so needy of him. He keep moving it softly against her cunt, rubbing the little bunch of nerves but soon he gets desperate and replace his knee with his left hand, his fingertips feeling how wet she became. His own cock was begging to fuck her now, but he needed to do something first.

"You've been such a good girl, babe" he whispers into her ear, making her gasp while he push one of his thick fingers inside her, hitting her core "So loyal, so understanding and loving. Let me make it up to you"

She nods quickly, his finger comes out of her to rub her clit, now completely wet.

"oh...dammit" she whispers, shivering under his touch and he giggles when her amethyst eyes start to tear up. He moves his fingers around her clit but soon he start to fingerfuck her again, pushing two of his fingers inside and outside softly, letting her feel how he cares her core. His fingers curving inside of her making her whimper "Yes, there babe...damn, like that"

He smiles widely, his cock aching and he moves to be on top of her. His free hand pulls her black pantie off down her legs and then quickly open her legs to see her wet and swollen cunt waiting for his cock. He squeeze softly the bulge of his pants and feels his mouth watering.

"so fucking wet for me, babe" he says mocking her and moving his fingers inside of her, slowly, fucking her sweet womanhood and claiming it for himself "so desperate to feel my cock fucking you"

Deianira nods, her core squeezing his fingers in, he could only see her eyes filled with pleasure. When Jace feels how tight she had became around his fingers he moves his head down, and sniff into her womanhood, feeling the sweet and addictive scent that belonged to him. Only to him. His tongue comes out of his mouth and begins to caress her swollen pearl with it, enjoying himself when she cried out calling his name, her hands buried into his dark curls. When she reached her peak he drank all of it, delight with the sweetness of her cunny. He fucks her with his tongue, almost sucking inside her walls to took out everything she has to give him. Her purple eyes looking into his as he devours her, smirking softly as he does.

After a few seconds he puts out of her, not please with the idea of leaving her but needing to show her how much she belongs to him.

"Come here, babe" he says, as he gets up from the bed, standing next to it and holding her head with gentleness, not wanting to hurt her not even a bit. He could never enjoy nothing if thats involve hurtings her, not even in bed.

She smiles widely and understand quickly his intentions, so she moves to the edge of the bed and starts to undo the buttons of his pants, but he stopped her. Jace was desperate to feel her warm and wet mouth around his cock but he wanted to see her beg more.

"Come on, Jace...please" she whispers, smiling and with a plea on her eyes. He chuckles and nods, caressing her cheek while his free hand moves toward the back of her head "I need to suck it so bad, Jace...please"

She begging to suck his dick was the most precious sound he had ever heard. Jace looks into her lips, she was moving softly her lips as if her mouth were watering.

"What you wanna suck on?" he asks, teasing. She giggles in response.

"Your cock"

His smiles gets even bigger and he pulls his pants and his drawers, his cock standing proudly, hard and trick, the pre cum covering the fat head of it. He moves his hand to caress it to prepare it for her, already feeling so excited to see her pretty tiny mouth around his huge manhood.

"Who you belong to? Tell me that, and i'll let you suck on my cock like the true princess like you should" he says, smiling at her with love but also with lust.

"I belong to you, Jacaerys" she whispers, looking up at him "My cunt and my damn fucking mouth are yours to fuck as you please"

He chuckles and caress her white hair.

"Oh, babe..you're such a good girl" he spoke, before fuck into her mouth, his hard cock couldn't fit completely her mouth and that made him feel frustrated but as soon as she grabbed the axle of his dick and started to caress the disregard area of it he moaned. The tip of his cock hitting her throat and yet she was taking all of him like a goddess "Oh, yes baby girl...fuck it, keep going"

The warm of her mouth was making him shiver, her tongue around the axle of his cock, sucking him in a delicious way. He hold back the urge of rolling his eyes to the back of his head, just to see her teary eyes and her red swollen lips. Her moans were dying into her throat as she took him, he didn't moved, he wanted her to have her own path. Deianira moved her head up and down his cock, letting it wet with her saliva.

"Baby, you look like a goddess right now" he whispers, with a sense of proud filling his chest. She was his, not only in body but in mind and soul too. And he was gonna keep her forever. A last shiver ran towards her spine and he tried to pull out as the feeling of the orgasmt starting to make his body weak but he hold him into her mouth, shaking a bit her head. She wanted to taste him.

He moaned loudly as he seed filled her mouth, and he drank all of it, sucking his cock until it was clean again. He was smiling widely, impressed. His hand moving to hold her by the throat, not hurting her.

"You've been amazing, babe" he spoke, opening her legs widely with his free hand and pushing her back to the mattress "Now let me fuck you until the only thing you would remember is my hard cock filling your womb with my cum"

#hotd x reader #jacaerys x you #jacaerys x reader #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #hotd #hotd jacaerys #jacaerys targaryen #prince jacaerys #jacaerys velaryon #rhaenyra #lucerys #dance of the dragons #rhaenyra targaryen

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melodygatesauthor · 1 year

Text

The Fractured Moon - Part 2

Yandere! Marc Spector - Jake Lockley - Steven Grant X f!Reader

PLEASE READ TAGS/DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS FIC. THERE ARE DARK THEMES!

Moodboard - Series Masterlist - AO3 Link

Part 2 Summary:

You spend the next week adjusting to your new life with these men. The longer it takes for them to break you in, the more it's going to hurt.

Disclaimer:

I created this fic for the sole purpose of exploring the yandere thing as a fanfiction "kink" in a safe way and in a safe space. I in no way would want this to happen to myself or someone else. This fic is not a reflection of my moral beliefs. - Further, this fic is not an accurate representation of people with DID (dissociative identity disorder). These men happen to have DID and I'm putting them in a situation where they would have an unhealthy obsession with the reader character.

Tags/Warnings:

NSFW, Stalking, non-con, somnophilia, rape, mentions of murder, drugged sex, kidnapping, manipulation, dacryphilia, voyeurism, threats of physical harm, copious amounts of sex, copious amounts of unprotected sex, blood, unrealistic refractory period, biting, slapping, hitting, reader is smol, choking, non-consensual drug use (kinda), cock-warming. This is a Dead Dove Do Not Eat situation.

Word Count: 15k (Don't look at me)

Así = Like that

Buena niña = Good girl

Vamos = Come on

Comprende = Understand

At some point in the night you slept. Your captors seemed to leave you at peace long enough for you to doze on and off throughout the night. You felt weak, hungry, and thirsty as your eyes fluttered open the following morning. You didn’t even remember actually falling asleep, all you remembered was Steven kissing you on the cheek, and then leaving the room to let you rest. He said he’d come back to wake you with something special. Now you had that aching feeling between your legs while you stirred, something was inside of you that wasn’t there when you’d slumbered off. You recognized that feeling. One of them was stuffing you with their cock again.

Steven had been away from you all night. They’d neglected their duties as Moon Knight for so long that they finally had to put in some work for Khonshu. When they returned home, he wasted no time going straight to your room. He felt a sense of relief when he could see that you were right where they’d left you, sleeping soundly in your bed, and naked.

He was so excited, seeing you laying there so soundly. He’d stripped himself down and crawled in behind you, much like he had the first time he’d taken you. It was Jake’s idea to keep you naked all the time for moments like this. They needed to be able to have you whenever the need arose, and Steven had been kind enough to let you rest overnight. His need was heavy now, and he’d been so good and patient.

“G’morning love, I needed to feel you again.” The one with the British accent was squeezing you against himself again, rutting into you roughly.

“N-no, please.” You croaked, which was promptly followed by a large hand covering your mouth.

“Now don’t start that. You can’t expect me to believe you’re that upset when you’re soaking the sheets like this, yeah?” He groaned in your ear, “I don’t want to hear another word unless you’ve got something nice to say.”

You whimpered into his strong hand. Steven was huffing into your ear while he kept fucking you. He was right, you were drenched, slick dripping over your thighs and onto the sheets. He had himself wrapped firmly around your arms so you couldn’t move. You wished he would stop.

“If you’ll be good and quiet f’me, I can use this hand for something better. Something you might like, yeah?”

You didn’t respond. Admitting that you wanted him to touch you would further his growing delusion that you liked what was happening to you.

“You’re going to be a brat, hm?” He kissed your neck, right behind your earlobe, “s’alright love. When I’m all finished, Jake says he’s gonna make you behave a little better.”

You let out a muffled and half-hearted scream in response.

“Oh hell.”

The sound of your little shriek made his cock twitch inside of you. He liked the sound. Steven gave up on trying to silence you, wanting to hear you even clearer. It didn’t matter anyway, they lived so far removed from others that no one would hear you no matter how hard you screamed. He brought his hand down from your mouth and wrapped his fingers around your neck. He felt your throat vibrate when you gulped against his thick digits.

“Don’t worry darling, not gonna really choke you, just like havin’ my hands on you,” his voice was low. “You know I don’t want to hurt you right? None of us do. We love you. We just can’t risk losing you. That’s why you’re here.”

“It hurts.” You whined, feeling pain searing through your aching hole.

“Sh, I know love, it will feel good soon. I know you’ll be happy here, gonna take real good care of you now.”

Despite your defiance, Steven wanted to give you what you needed, and so he did. He loosened the hand that was holding your waist and brought it down to the apex of your thighs. You squeezed your legs together tightly, forcing a frustrated grunt from Steven as he thrust into you again.

“Darling please, s’not hard to just let me give you what I know you want yeah? Why are you acting like this?” He sounded like he was getting angry with you, forcing a chill down your spine.

Something about the way his cock slid against your walls the next time made you feel an overwhelming sense of pleasure, despite your mind telling you that you should be fighting to get away. Almost involuntarily you parted your thighs just enough for him to slide his middle finger in over your swollen and slippery clit. He let out a shaky moan against your ear.

“Ooh love, that feels good doesn’t it? Can feel you gripping around me so tight.” Steven started rolling his hips into you faster.

He was still in awe of how you felt, so warm and soft while he dragged his length over your walls repeatedly. A soft moan escaped your lips, and Steven thought he might faint after hearing the sound. Did you even know how beautiful your voice was to them, especially when you were enjoying yourself?

“Knew you’d like that, you sound so pretty it’s unreal.”

He swirled his finger around your nub and heard you sniffle while you continued crying. No matter how good it felt, you were still terrified. There was nothing you could do other than lay there. His fingers around your throat would get tighter if you tried to move, and surely your punishment with the mean one, Jake, would be even worse if you didn’t behave.

“You ready for me to fill you up again? Want to feel you gushin’ over me first love, come on.” Steven urged, sliding his fingers over your clit faster.

You didn’t answer verbally, but you arched back into his chest, getting as close to him as you could when you felt his fingers moving at an increased pace. Steven felt relieved to see you becoming more compliant to their needs after only one day. Marc had mocked him when Steven said you liked them, but this was proof. Why else would you be so good for him? Why else would you be reaching up to grab on to his forearm, holding his hand in place over your mound.

A love-struck smile spread over Steven’s face. You were holding onto him, squeezing tightly as he fucked into you harder. Your sobbing got louder, mixed with the soft hiccups of you trying to catch your breath. Regardless, those sweet little moans could be heard between each whimpering cry.

“You sound so good love, so-so good ah. Not gonna last, need you to come for me, hurry please.” He begged, continuing to rub the pad of his finger over your clit.

He didn’t even need to ask, you were already there. You pressed your lips together tightly, not wanting to make a sound. You didn’t want him to hear how good he’d made you feel. You still huffed through your nose though, and a muffled groan rumbled through your throat regardless of your attempt to stay quiet.

“Oh there you go love, there you are. Knew you would come for me, so good-so good-so fucking good-“

Steven squeezed you so tight you thought your bones might break. You made a choking sound that resulted in a flurry of apologies from his lips. His thrusting ceased while you felt his cock start pulsating inside of you, filling your cunt full of his hot spend.

You belonged to him.

He held onto you while he grew soft and kept repeating those words to himself. He had you there, and you weren’t going anywhere. You were theirs for the taking, any time they wanted; any time they needed. Steven muttered various words of affection in your ear while you felt yourself still crying with shame. You didn’t want to give him that satisfaction of your orgasm. You’d tried so hard to hold back.

“You did so well love. You feel so good I can’t wait until later when you’ll get to have me again.”

His words stuck with you even after he left. I can’t wait until later when you’ll get to have me again.

He said it as though it were a prize you’d won, like he was going to be doing you a favor; As though you weren’t there completely against your will and trapped in a room with no way out. You weren’t sure you could take more, you were so tender from all the torture they’d already forced you to endure. You just wanted to be let free, or left alone. Either way was fine by you.

Jake planned to give your aching hole a break, knowing that Steven was sure to have difficulty restraining himself in the coming days, and perhaps even weeks. When Jake came back to you later, you seemed to have stopped crying. You looked so small, sitting on the bed with the blanket pulled up to cover yourself. As soon as you saw him, you flinched back, putting yourself against the wall as far from him as you could, bringing the blanket closer to your face as though it would protect you. Jake had on his leather gloves, white button down with the sleeves rolled up, and his black slacks. He loosened his tie and undid two of the top buttons on his shirt as he approached you with a smug grin spread over his face.

“Hola bebita.” He stood at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

You remembered that this was the one who held the gun to your head…the one who had you the most frightened of the three. Jake. Steven had warned that Jake was going to ‘make you behave a little better’, whatever that was supposed to mean. You felt the tears threatening to fall already. You were so sick of crying, but you couldn’t help it, you were so afraid, and in so much pain. Didn’t they see that? Didn’t any of them have some empathy or compassion?

“P-please J-Jake I’m sorry.” You looked to see if he had a weapon that he meant to hurt you with, but it didn’t appear so…not yet anyway.

“Oh sweetheart you were very good for Steven.” He beckoned you over with his finger, “come here, sit at the end of the bed.”

You gulped and shook your head slowly, silently pleading with him to be merciful. You didn’t want to go anywhere near him. There was no telling what he intended to do to you. At least Steven was predictable, albeit painful, but you knew what to expect. Jake brought you a different kind of fear. The fear of the unknown.

“Listen, there are two ways we can do this sweetheart, and one will be much better for you if you just do what I tell you to do, comprende?” Your eyes were glistening wet while you looked at him pleadingly. He loved to see the way your bottom lip quivered.

“Are you going to k-kill me?” You pulled the blankets up over your mouth to hide your quivering chin.

“Of course not, that wouldn’t do me any good at all, would it?”

Faster than you could react, Jake grabbed the blankets and yanked them from you. You were left naked on the bed with nothing but your pillows and the fitted sheet beneath you. You covered yourself with your arms, like it mattered. The man in front of you sighed and started removing his tie.

“One last time, are you gonna come over here on your own or am I going to have to make you?”

You didn’t say anything. Jake noticed that you didn’t seem to talk much. He wondered if you were just afraid, or if you were naturally a quieter person. Either way, it didn't matter. Something about the way you cowered in fear in his presence made him feel painfully aroused, and filled with an insurmountable excitement. After making no attempt to move toward him on your own, he knew he was going to have to make you comply.

“Don’t hurt her, she’s scared.” Marc said in a guilt ridden tone.

Jake wasn’t going to do any actual harm to you, but he was going to make sure that when you looked in the mirror, you were reminded of who owned you now. He wanted you to feel a phantom pain on the marks he left behind every time you thought about screaming or running away. He wanted you to see the reminders on your body and think about what you’d done so you may never think of doing it again. It was the only way they could reasonably keep you there and find a way to make you happy too. His lessons were for your benefit, despite what you might be thinking. If you could learn to obey well enough, they could let you roam the house from time to time, rather than keep you confined to the one room for the rest of your days.

Jake removed a glove and walked to one of the doors in your room. He used his thumb on an electronic lock pad by the door to unlock it. It wasn’t out of the norm for Jake to have handcuffs and torture devices on hand. Sometimes when they were doing their work for Khonshu they had to get answers out of people the hard way. Before this room was yours, they used it to interrogate the criminals Jake would bring back there. When they decided they were taking you, they made it a little more comforting, adding a bed to the otherwise empty room. Steven had suggested adding more to make it warmer, but Jake reminded him they didn’t have time to hire a damn interior designer before bringing you home. Your comfort could be managed later.

He pulled out some cuffs before closing the door and turning to face you once again. He swung the restraints around his finger while looking right at you. You gulped harshly. Defying him was a mistake, and you were wondering now if it was too late to show your willingness to comply with his demands. You crawled to the end of the bed quickly and sat back on your knees, covering your breasts with your arm and placing your hand over your mound in your lap, as if modesty was something you could achieve in your current position.

“Aw bebita, you should’ve done this sooner.”

He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned your face from one side to the other. You were so fucking pretty he felt his stomach doing flips from just looking at you, and you were all his. He stepped back and gestured for you to turn.

“Turn around, hands behind your back, vamos.” He urged, never letting that snide grin fade from his face.

“I-I’m sorry Jake.” You said, remembering how much he liked it when you apologized before.

“Oh, princesa, I know. Come on now, turn around,” he said, tone unwavering and stern.

You looked at him a little longer, hoping he would change his mind and be kind to you, but his expression remained firm. You finally obeyed, turning and putting your hands behind your back. Just when you thought you were incapable of crying any more, more tears started falling down your cheeks. You let out a dry sob. If only you could get some water.

Jake knew you needed something to eat and drink, it was obvious in your voice. Marc was already chattering in the headspace with Steven about what they were going to do about that once Jake was finished. He handcuffed your delicate wrists together, smiling at himself when he saw your beautiful body from behind. They hadn’t had a chance to appreciate the full view until now. You were breathtaking from every angle, and he kept remembering that you were going to be there forever now. He could look at you whenever he wanted to.

“Buena niña,” he cooed.

You hiccuped as you cried harder. Jake loved the sound of your cries. He rested his bare hand on your shoulder, caressing your soft skin with his thumb. You pressed your lips together tightly to keep yourself from whimpering too loudly. He shushed you softly, running his palm over your arm.

“Next time, maybe you’ll listen a little better, si?”

You took a sharp breath, nodding slowly.

“Say, yes Jake.” He demanded.

“Y-yes Ja-Jake.”

“You’re a quick learner. I’m proud of you.” His voice was gravely with arousal. “When I praise you, I want you to say thank you, Jake.”

You whined, feeling your chest heave with emotional turmoil. You didn’t want to give him what he asked for, but you were afraid of what he might do if you were defiant. Jake put a large hand over your spine before pushing you forward. You bent in half, feeling your cunt exposed to the cool air of the room. You turned your head to the left so you could breathe. Jake let out a snicker behind you. The cold metal of the cuffs touching your lower back made you shudder.

“Thank you, Jake,” you choked out between sobs.

Jake noticed that you had your eyes closed tightly. You were so fucking afraid it was delicious. He grew excited knowing that he was about to ravage your body, inciting even more terror inside you. He could see how swollen your pussy lips were from their assault on you. Despite the aching of his cock pressing against his zipper, he wasn’t going to give it to you. Marc could later if he felt inclined, but Jake was there to teach you a lesson, not give you something he knew would ultimately pleasure you.

“The rules are simple sweetheart. If you can follow them, then you will be rewarded.” You felt the leather gloved hand press against your left cheek. “When I give you something, like a compliment, or when I let you come, you say thank you. Do you understand?”

You nodded slowly, keeping your eyes closed tight.

“When I ask a question, you will say, yes, Jake, or, no, Jake.” He squeezed your cheek so tight you winced in pain. “Tell me you understand.”

“Yes, Jake.” You opened your eyes, looking up at the man who was tormenting you.

“I need to hear you really say it, say it like you fucking mean it!” He pulled his hand back and smacked your rear, resulting in a harsh scream from your mouth.

“Yes, Jake!”

He hummed in approval, “good, you sound so pretty princesa.”

Jake grabbed onto the cuffs to hold you in place with his bare hand. He started beating against each cheek until you were screaming and begging him to stop. A small puddle of drool collected next to your lips. You sobbed deeply, making noises you’d never heard come from your own mouth before. He didn’t stop though, he just kept hammering his gloved palm against you until you were certain your ass cheeks were going to fall off your body.

“Please, it hurts!” Your throat was sore from your desperate wails.

The burning on your skin didn’t end with his assault, which he fortunately ceased for the time being. Your cheeks continued to ache even when he was done. Through the blur of your tears you could see him reaching down to grab your waist. He was strong, tossing you like a ragdoll onto your back. You groaned at the feeling of the cuffs jabbing into your spine. The sheets, despite how soft they were, stung against your backside.

“Jake, I think she’s had enough, look at her.” Marc said.

“Hmm,” he mused, looking over your trembling form.

Jake didn’t quite agree with Marc, but it was only their first day having you there. He was impressed that you’d obeyed so well, and that you’d been able to withstand the beating he’d given you. Considering that you’d begged so beautifully, he decided to spare you any more torment for now.

“Bebita, I’m going to give you a final gift for today. You handled me so well, I think you can take just a little more, don’t you?”

You sniffled and nodded, “y-yes, Jake.”

A shaking breath left his lips at the words as you uttered them. Did you even realize how preciously innocent you looked? You had your knees up and pressed together tightly, clearly an attempt at modesty, but that wasn’t going to stop Jake. He placed a large hand on either knee and pried your legs apart with a grunt.

“Please, it hurts so much, please.” You begged, closing your eyes tightly.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to fuck you sweetheart. Not right now.” Jake’s gloved finger dragged between your folds and rested on your clit.

You arched slightly into his touch. The fact that you were so desperate for stimulation whenever their hands were kind to you made you wonder if there was something wrong with your mind. You found yourself craving it, wanting more. He crawled onto the bed next to you, never removing his gloved fingers from your swollen nub. You bit your lip and moaned despite yourself.

“See, I can take care of you, just as much as I can hurt you, but you have to behave bebita. Gonna mark you up just a little more, okay?” Jake swooped into the side of your neck hungrily.

“Y-yes!” You said obediently.

He started sucking on the skin so hard that you let out a cry in pain. You tried to shy away and spare your bruised skin, still hurting from the way he’d choked you the night before, but Jake reached out, grabbing the other side of your head to keep you in place. You wondered if there would be an end to the torture they were putting you through, or if this was going to go on forever.

“You’ve been so good today sweetheart. Thought for sure you were going to give me a harder time than that. Maybe Steven’s right. Maybe you do like us,” he whispered softly in your ear.

“No, no, you’re monsters.” You bit your bottom lip to stop it from shaking.

“Oh, princesa, I was going to give you a little break from the pain, but now you’re starting to really piss me off.”

You gasped when you felt his teeth latch down over the meat of your shoulder. You shrieked, trying to pull away, but between the hand on your head and the one between your legs, you were trapped. Your body shook violently, trying to get yourself away from the searing pain until finally he stopped biting you. You breathed heavily, and realized he was still rubbing your clit. As the agony subsided, you started to feel that sweet tingling sensation you desired so much.

Jake looked over at you now, and when you met his eye you saw blood glistening on his lips. He smirked, leaning in to kiss you. You kept your mouth closed tightly, not wanting to give him that intimacy he seemed to be demanding from you.

“Do you want another one?” He looked at you with a dark, furrowed brow.

Another bite? No, you wouldn’t be able to handle that, the other one was tormenting you still. You leaned up, slotting your lips against his. He breathed out a feral moan as he entangled his tongue with yours. The taste of iron filled your mouth while your saliva mixed with the blood he’d taken from you. The smooth leather fingers changed direction, forcing a gasp from you.

“See, when you’re a good little girl, you get what you need from us.”

“You really hurt her, Jake,” Marc scolded.

What Jake couldn’t say out loud, not right then anyway, was that he was doing all of this to make sure you would be more pliant for them going forward. He knew that when Marc went to you later, when it was his time, that you would behave so perfectly for him, and that he would be grateful for Jake’s hard work. Marc always felt guilty, it was infuriatingly annoying to Jake, but he hoped when you showed your willingness to comply, Marc would change his tune.

He wondered if you knew how good a kisser you were. The way you kept melting your mouth into his over and over while you whimpered in your ecstasy made Jake’s brain go numb with pleasure. Your spine was arching, and Jake felt you start rocking your hips against his fingers. You started kissing him deeper, relaxing more into the motions. You were enjoying yourself, and that made him soften ever so slightly.

“Así,” he breathed gently against your lips, “mm, vamos princesa.”

You hated yourself for your words, but you were so close, and he was moving his fingers so slow.

“Faster…please,” your voice was almost inaudible.

“Hm? Gonna have to speak up for me sweetheart.”

“Faster!” You tucked your face into his neck in shame.

Jake sniffed out a laugh in response, moving his fingers a little quicker for you. You were there again, for the second time that day, moaning through your orgasm, muffled into his neck while he continued to slide his leather covered digits all over your clit. He muttered some sweet, coaxing words in your ear, no louder than a whisper. You felt fresh tears run down over your cheeks and onto his throat where your face was still buried. When you were finished, you fell back, fatigue washing over you in a heavy wave.

He stood up before turning you over. He undid your cuffs and walked over to the closet to put them back. When he turned around, you were still lying chest down on the bed. He knew you were probably hungry, thirsty, and tired.

“Get your blankets back on your bed and sit there. One of us will be in with some food and something to drink soon.” Jake ordered.

He watched as you sat upright slowly. You looked up at him with big glossy eyes. You looked tired and emotionally worn. Oh but you were still so breathtaking. He watched with nothing but adoration in his heart as you stood up and grabbed your bedding off the floor where he’d pulled it from you, and you proceeded to go tuck yourself back under the sheets, just as he’d told you to. You were learning so quickly. It was more than he could’ve hoped for.

“Very good bebita. Sit tight, we’ll be back later.”

----

They knew everything about you. At least, that’s what they’d thought when they took you. Marc was standing with the fridge door open, staring at the food in front of him. He looked from top to bottom at least a dozen times. Someone would’ve thought he was deciding on a house to buy, not something simple like what food he was going to bring to a girl who hadn’t eaten or had water all day.

“Just pick something hermano.” Jake murmured coldly, “she’s gotta be starving, and with all that cryin’ I’m sure she’s thirsty as hell.”

Marc ignored Jake, but the fact remained…he wasn’t sure what you liked to eat. They’d seen your fridge back at your old apartment, it seemed like you were into most anything. Marc thought that something small would probably suffice, so he started putting together a plate. Steven was chattering on about the things he thought you might like, versus the things he thought you wouldn’t like. Every time Marc brought his hand out to grab something off a shelf, one of his alters had something to say about it.

“Steven, I’m sure she’s going to be fine with this. Jake’s right, she hasn’t eaten since yesterday and she hasn’t had anything to drink.” Marc groaned and decided to put a few different options on a tray before walking back to your room.

“Yeah, sure, but what if she doesn’t like something on your little tray there? Hm?”

“Then I’ll make her something else,” Marc was talking softer as he approached your room, “you need to give her a break, you hear me? I know you’re going to want to spend the night with her, and you can, but for now, give it a rest.”

Steven muttered a few choice words in protest, but eventually conceded, knowing that Marc was right. You were spent. When Marc entered the room, he saw you just sitting there, staring at him. Except, as he got closer to you, he realized that you weren’t looking at him at all, you were looking wide-eyed at the tray in his hands. He felt his heart stop in his chest at the sight of you. You had the blanket covering yourself and you hurriedly pulled it to the side, leaving him a flat spot on the mattress to put the tray.

“Here you go honey,” Marc said, putting your meal down in front of you.

“T-thank you, Jake,” you muttered, rushing forward to your plate.

Marc’s stomach sunk. He supposed that to the untrained eye, he and Jake looked identical. They shared a body after all, and you weren’t accustomed to their minor differences in appearance yet. He sat down on the bed while you guzzled your water quickly, gulping it all down within seconds. He assumed that you probably didn’t care who out of the three he was, you were probably just afraid of the consequences if you didn’t say thank you.

“Woah,” he chuckled, taking the cup from you when you were finished. He held it in his hands and looked at you, “I’m actually Marc.”

“I’m sorry, I t-thought…oh no please don’t-”

“You’re okay,” he said, recognizing the look of panic boiling up inside of you, “just eat, please.”

Marc exhaled a small sigh of relief when you took a small bite of a cracker on your plate. He walked to the other side of the room and opened the only door without a thumbprint reader, the bathroom. Inside the bathroom he filled up the glass with more water from the tap. When he looked in the mirror he saw Steven staring back.

“We have a deal, Steven. We don’t interfere with each other’s time,” Marc spoke in a harsh whisper so you wouldn’t hear.

“Alright, yeah, sorry mate, just wanted to get a look s’all,” he said.

Marc knew that Steven might become a problem. While Marc and Jake shared the same unhealthy obsession as the other, Steven’s infatuation felt a little deeper, a little more…unhinged than the other two. Marc walked back and forth to the bathroom three times to get you more water before you were satisfied. He watched you carefully while you nibbled on your food, but you only ate enough to feed a small child.

“Baby, come on. I need you to eat more than that,” he urged, picking up a grape in his fingers, “please.”

“I don’t want to. I want to go home,” you turned away from him, “it’s probably poisoned anyway right?”

“Oh…no!” Marc spoke in a gentle but very concerned tone. He pushed the tray aside and touched your shoulder softly, “no we would never-”

You winced when his fingers brushed over the bite that Jake had left behind. Marc felt a pang of guilt. Fuck, he thought. They were destroying you. Your spirit, your body, your soul. He thought about opening the doors right then and there and letting you go, but that thought alone made him feel like his heart might stop beating in his chest if he did. No. You leaving wasn’t an option…so he was just going to have to make you learn to love them, and love living there.

“I’m sorry he hurt you, but hey, when we tell you to do something, it’s for your own good, okay?” Marc felt relief when you turned back to face him, “there you go. Can you please eat something for me?”

He picked up the grape in his fingers again and brought it to your lips. Marc felt the weight fall off his shoulders when you opened your pretty, plump lips and let him drop the grape inside. You chewed, and he watched. You felt uncomfortable with him feeding you, but you also didn’t think you’d have the mental strength to continue feeding yourself. In some twisted way, you were grateful.

Marc immediately felt good inside. As if each grape he gave you chipped away at the guilt he’d harbored after they took you. It helped that there were a few times when your lips sucked his finger as he pulled it back. He felt his pants get tight around his groin while he fed you more. He’d told Steven you needed a break, but he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to stick to that himself. He hadn’t even had you yet. Jake and Steven were getting to have all the fun. He reminded himself of his goal though. With time, he’d win you over, and you’d eventually grow excited just from the sight of him. That day would be a dream come true.

“Thank you,” you said softly, once the grapes were all gone.

Marc brushed a thumb over your cheek, “I think Steven will be back again later. He has a hard time with…portion control.”

“I don’t think I can take more, really I-”

“Take this when he comes in,” Marc held out a small pill, “it will help you feel more relaxed.”

“You’re drugging me?” You asked, furrowing your brow at the small tablet in between his fingers.

“No, I’m handing you a drug. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to, but it might help,” he said, holding it out in his palm.

You eyed the small pill before you took it and put it on the end table next to our bed. Marc gave you a forced smirk in an attempt to reassure you that everything would be alright before he grabbed the tray of half-eaten food and left you alone. From the way he felt Steven buzzing with excitement earlier when he was in the bathroom, he only hoped that you would heed his advice, or you were in for a night of pain.

----

When the time came, you were grateful for the little pill Marc had given you. Steven walked in later that night and you hardly stirred. He wanted to look at your face this time while he fucked you, since the last two times he’d taken you was from behind. While he climbed over you, he couldn’t help noticing that you were more limp than usual, less responsive to his presence. Marc knew he wasn’t supposed to interfere with Steven’s time, but he could feel the panic coursing through him.

“Steven, just relax alright? She’s fine, I just gave her a little something to help with the pain.”

“Pain…are you hurtin’, love?” Steven’s eyebrows were stitched together with concern.

“Mm,” you murmured, “yes.”

You weren’t sleepy, not yet, but you were simply feeling a sense of comfort over your entire body, like you were laying in a cloud. Your head felt a little foggy, but the pain that Jake had caused earlier over your whole body, and the throbbing that you’d felt between your legs, subsided.

“I’m going to help you give her what she needs okay? Just do exactly what I say.” Marc said gently.

“Yeah, alright,” Steven licked his lips and nodded, “gonna give you a treat tonight darling.”

Steven lined his fat tip up with your hole, sliding it between your folds and collecting the juices there. He couldn’t believe you were so wet and ready for him. Even through the sedative, you felt a sharp pain at your swollen and tender entrance. You winced, grabbing the sheets to brace yourself. You were so weak, your grip was meaningless, but you did it anyway out of instinct.

“There’s no way around it, it’s gonna hurt, but at least spit on it a little, get yourself nice and slick all over for her.”

Steven obeyed Marc’s orders, drawing a glob of spit together and dropping it down over his thick cock. He stroked it over himself, coating his length until it was slippery and glossy. Steven moaned, already desperate to feel your cunt again. Of all the things Steven enjoyed in life, nothing made him feel the way your body did. There was simply no comparison.

“That’s good, just like that, okay.”

You were glad you couldn’t feel the full force of the pain when Steven stretched you out over his girth once again. He shuddered forward, dropping both hands on either side of your head. Your eyes were half open, and in your drugged state you were able to convince yourself that he was a little handsome. He snapped his hips forward, filling you full to the hilt.

“Don’t like how little she’s movin’, looks like she might fall asleep,” he muttered quietly in between his grunts.

You wondered why he was talking as if you weren’t there. Maybe he was crazy. A person had to be crazy to kidnap and rape someone, right? It didn’t matter, the drug you took made everything feel a little better, a little more numb, and you didn’t have the mental capacity to think about it. He could talk to all the voices he wanted to, you could hardly feel a thing, and you felt your eyelids desperately wanting to close.

“Steven, if you’re going to keep fucking her a hundred times a day, she needs a break,” Marc scolded.

Steven grumbled and sat back, looking down to see the way you split over his cock. He could see what Marc was talking about. Your poor cunt was swollen around him. Your pussy lips were puffy, clearly aching, and Steven felt a little guilty. You were so wet though, so you must’ve liked it at least a little. Marc didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.

“Y’know I don’t mean to hurt you, right love? S’not my fault you feel so good. Can’t help myself.”

His voice sounded wrecked while he continued fucking into your near lifeless body. He was glad that at least your cunt was reacting to his movements. He could feel you soft walls clenching down around him every time he rolled his hips forward, hitting the furthest point of your channel.

“Alright buddy, need you to listen to me. Take your thumb and start rubbing her clit. I know you’ve done this before, but let me tell you what to say. She seems to like when you say certain things.”

Steven globbed another ball of spit onto your clit and then started rubbing the pad of his thumb over it. He trembled when your walls fluttered over his girth. He saw your weak body arch into his touch, and that made him feel relieved. You were still right there, still warm and responsive, regardless of the drugged state you were in. Marc started coaching Steven, and the words coming out of his mouth fell like honey washing over you. It was amazing that some simple verbiage could make your body yearn the way it did.

“Look how pretty you are, love. I know it hurts, but you’re doing so good for us.” Steven started moving faster, the words were as encouraging for him as they were for you.

You groaned, a little from the pain, and a little from the pleasure. Steven, felt your cunt flutter around him with every rough and intentional thrust. Regardless of how sore you might be, it was clear that you were enjoying yourself, at least a little. He let out a shaky breath while Marc continued to urge him on from the headspace.

“You’re doing good Steven. Look how pretty she is. Fuck, she takes us so well doesn’t she?” He was watching, marveling in the way your beautiful and tired eyes stayed trained on Steven’s.

“Yeah, you’re stunning darling, f-fuck.” Steven could hardly contain himself, “that feeling good, love? Tell me, please say somethin’.”

You pressed your lips together as best as you could, and tried to hum out a positive response. Hardly a noise came out, and you felt your eyelids close heavily.

Steven noticed immediately when you weren’t awake anymore. He was pissed, to put it lightly. This wasn’t how he liked you. He liked your whines and cries filling the room. He liked to know that he was the one making you feel good, and now he was stuck fucking your sleeping body. It wasn’t like he didn’t love the way you felt even when you slept, his cock still twitched inside of you regardless and he certainly wasn’t going to stop, but he preferred it when you were awake. He reached out and grabbed your jaw, trying to shake you awake.

“C’mon love, wake up. Not done with you yet.” Steven thrust forward faster. You still felt so fucking good. How could someone be so perfect they felt that good even while they slept?

“Didn’t think she’d actually fall asleep. Sorry Steven I-”

“Shut the fuck up Marc,” Steven growled, “you leave her alone understand?”

Steven picked you up with ease before swapping positions, putting himself on his back and you on top of him, never letting his cock slide out of your slick cunt. You didn’t stir in the slightest, you were just a limp carcass splayed over his chest. He grabbed the other side of your head and brought your cheek to his lips. You’d never hear the sweet nothings he whispered into your ear gently while he bucked his hips upward roughly.

“Sorry darling, so sorry you can’t feel me like you should right now. Oh but you-you feel so-you still feel so good.” Steven knew that you wanted him, that Marc had taken this feeling away from you by drugging you. “Not gonna let him do that to you again.”

You couldn’t hear him huffing sharply in your ear while his orgasm approached. Marc had fallen silent, which Steven appreciated. He didn’t want Marc interfering during his time with you anyway. This was his time. Not to mention, what did he need Marc’s advice for anyway? Steven knew how to pleasure you just fine. He’d succeeded to make you come every time he fucked you. Marc didn’t know. Marc still hadn’t felt you yet.

He hadn’t felt how soft your cunt was when it squeezed down on their cock when you were coming; He hadn’t heard the way you whimpered while being fucked relentlessly, and he hadn’t felt what it was like to shoot their hot spent into your channel, overflowing you and feeling it spill out the sides. Steven felt that now while he nearly cried from the way his body shook as he emptied himself inside of you once again.

----

It went on like that for a little while. You weren’t sure how much time had gone by after a few days in that house. Steven and Jake had voted to keep you off drugs, to which Marc reluctantly agreed, being outvoted by the rest of the system. Despite not being drugged, you were incredibly tired, and in addition, sore, and mentally unstimulated, staring at the same four walls every day. There was nothing to do other than sleep, eat, and be a real life sex toy for the three brothers who all insisted on making your life a living hell.

You still wanted to go home.

While Steven agreed that you were probably sore, and in need of a break, he still struggled to keep himself off of you. Most nights, when he was certain the other two weren’t present, he would sneak into your room and fuck you from behind. You’d stopped fighting, and instead tried your best to enjoy it. It was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not, so you figured it was best to try and get something out of it.

This only served to feed Steven’s delusion that you were happy to be there with them. Every moan from your lips was a solid reassurance that he was giving you something you enjoyed, and every time you grabbed onto him or arched your back against his chest, he thought that was your attempt at intimacy. He fucking loved you so much. You could probably slap him and he’d think you were just playing around.

They all loved you, but Marc was the only one who showed you love in a way that you understood, or that at least seemed, dare you say, somewhat normal. He hadn’t fronted in a while, letting Steven and Jake have their fun, but it was his turn. You were beaten up, and he felt that sharp stab of guilt in his gut over it. Your face was still beautiful as ever, but your body was banged up and bitten. Your poor cunt was puffy and raw. You were dirty, tired, and clearly aching all over.

He had something for you hidden from your view behind his back as he drew closer to the bed. You thought it might be something he would use to hurt you like the others, despite not having hurt you thus far. You didn’t know what else these men were capable of, and maybe he was going to join in and start throwing you around too. You shifted further away as he approached, sitting on the other side of the bed with the blanket pulled up to your chin.

“How are you feeling baby?” Marc said, sitting down at the edge of the bed, keeping a healthy distance from you.

You were clutching your blanket to yourself tightly. You didn’t say a word, you only stared. Marc had noticed that you’d become less talkative as the week went on. Jake’s methods seemed to be working to tame you, making you more meek and obedient. It wasn’t their intention to change who you were, not at all. They loved you for you, but they needed you to stop fighting, and start behaving, and you were already getting so much better. Marc thought you should be rewarded.

“Here,” he pulled the gift out from behind his back.

It was a stuffed lamb, like someone might give to a child. You frowned at it, confused as to why he would be giving you something so juvenile. It was soft and plush, and something about it made you feel a huge wave of comfort the longer you looked it over.

“You don’t like it.” He looked disappointed. “I was hoping that you might be able to hold onto it when Steven isn’t giving you breaks or when–”

You snatched the lamb from Marc’s hands and pulled it in close. It was just as comforting as you thought it would be when you brought it to your chest. The soft fabric of the wool against your breasts was soothing. You felt silly finding so much solace in something as childish as a stuffed animal, but given your situation, you stopped caring how it might look to anyone else. You needed any little bit of mental reprieve you could get right now..

“Thank you, Marc,” you said, just as Jake had trained you to.

Marc felt a sense of pride swell through his chest when you took the stuffed animal from him. He wasn’t sure you would like it, but there you were, clutching it against yourself like it was a lifeline. It was at that point he noticed the dried and crusted blood on your collarbone, chest, and various other places where Jake had bitten your precious body. He reached out, but you flinched back.

“I’m not going to hurt you honey, I just need you to come with me. Come on, let’s get you all cleaned up.” He held his hand out to you.

You hesitated, but ultimately you conceded, putting your new stuffed toy down and taking his hand, letting him walk you to the bathroom. His mind was buzzing watching you walk, stepping light as a feather while he guided you. When he looked at you, he felt like you were like a perfect little doll.

“Go ahead and sit there on the toilet, let me get this started for you.”

You wondered if they’d stocked up on bath products while you were sleeping, or if you maybe weren’t the first woman they’d taken. You thought about asking him, but decided you didn’t really want to know. You also didn’t want your words getting twisted against you, as they often did. Knowing them, they’d start thinking you were jealous of past women who had walked in your shoes. He filled the bath with suds, salts, and oils. It smelled lovely, if you were being honest.

He thought he might bathe with you, work on soothing some of your wounds and making you feel more comfortable. He also hadn’t spent any time with you, not really, since you’d arrived. Marc let the water run over his hand, making sure it wasn’t too hot for your tender and beaten skin. Once the tub was full, he pulled off his shirt.

“Go ahead, get in the tub,” Marc gestured to the bath.

When you realized that he was getting undressed, you froze. You couldn’t take anymore, in fact, you wouldn’t take anymore. Your cunt was aching just looking at his bare torso. Against your better judgment, you bolted for the door, knowing that you needed to get away from the impending pain. You ran to the only exit, slamming your hand against the door and tugging on the handle wildly. Although you knew your thumbprint wouldn’t work on the lock-pad, having tried it several times before, you tried it again anyway, slamming the pad of your thumb against the reader. You felt the panic rising in your chest while you kept wiggling the handle.

Why did you do this? You thought. If you weren’t in trouble before…

“Honey,” you heard from behind you, “come on.” He sounded so calm.

Marc felt grateful that Jake and Steven weren’t watching when you made your foolish attempt at escape. He wasn’t going to hold it against you, he understood you were in pain and you were afraid, but he couldn’t speak for the other two. He knew that Steven had intense jealousy, and Jake was…Jake. You turned around, eyes wide with terror. Marc put his arms out, exposing his bare chest to you, an attempt to show that he meant you no harm.

Your eyes scoured his body, stopping at the clear bulge under his jeans. You pressed your lips together tightly, doing your best to keep yourself from crying again. For someone trying to act defiant and brave, you were failing miserably. Your knees were shaking while you stood there, staring at the broad chested man. You gulped and then collapsed to the floor in a heap of sobs. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, so you just kept your eyes on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me-please!” Your entire body was trembling. “It just hurts so much. It hurts,” you sobbed.

Marc walked over and stood over your tiny frame, curled onto the floor like you were waiting for him to hurt you. He knelt down and put a gentle hand on your back. When it became clear that you weren’t going to get back up he groaned and scooped you up into his arms. Clearly you’d conceded to your fate, burying your face into his neck and wetting the skin there with your tears.

You didn’t open your eyes again until you felt him lowering you into the tub slowly. The water was hot but soothing. It felt nice against the wounds you’d received, and it felt as if your entire body exhaled in relief. Despite the fear still coursing through you, you felt a small moment of reprieve from the horror. You saw him, even through the blur of your tears, as he unbuttoned his jeans. He pulled both his pants and boxer-briefs down and toed them off.

He watched you gulp and shy away to the furthest point of the tub that you could. You had your arms covering your chest, but that didn’t matter to him. He had no intention of sleeping with you, he just wanted to make you feel good, and make you feel better about being there with them. Making you love them, genuinely and truly, might be the single most difficult thing he would ever do, but he would do it. He slowly got into the tub and watched you turn your head to the wall, avoiding his gaze entirely.

“Come here baby, let me at least wash you.” He put a hand on your shoulder.

You pulled your shoulder away, splashing some water up in the process.

“I can wash myself,” you muttered.

“Let me clean you up, and I’ll make you feel good too honey, please, you deserve it after how good you’ve been.” He urged.

You finally looked at him, sniffling and wiping away a tear, “but I wasn’t good, I just tried to run-”

“I didn’t see anything,” he said abruptly, cutting off your confession.

You furrowed your brow in confusion, until you realized that he was going to keep your little, and unsuccessful, attempt between the two of you. It gave you a small sense of comfort that he was going to protect you, if only a little, from the other’s wrath should they ever find out about your misbehavior. With that understanding, and considering the gift he’d brought you just a little while ago, you felt, in some twisted way, indebted to him. You finally gave in, sliding over to him in the tub.

“There you go,” he pulled you into his lap.

His stomach electrified with excitement while he pulled you over to sit with him. You were straddling him with a knee on either side of his thighs, arms still covering your chest. He couldn’t help the way his cock prodded underneath you, looking for a place to bury itself. When he’d drawn the bath for you, he hadn’t intended to fuck you, not at all, but he was quickly realizing how foolish it was for him to think he could resist you. Your knees clenched on either side of his legs when he grabbed your hips tightly, lining you up with his bulbous tip.

“P-please.” You looked at him, eyes big with desperation for mercy, “it hurts so much.”

“I know, but if you just sit on it, you’ll get more used to the size, okay? The more you let us loosen you up, the less it will hurt. I promise.” He cupped your cheek in his other hand, “I won’t move, just lower yourself down on me. Take your time.”

As Marc had hoped, giving you the freedom to set the pace encouraged you to do it on your own. He didn’t want to have to force you, so he was grateful when you showed your willingness to comply. You were slow, and he willed his hips to remain stationary while you rose up a little on your knees, getting it lined up perfectly. His breath was shaky while he felt you start to settle over it, lowering yourself painstakingly slowly.

“That’s it baby, just like that. Oh my-fuh-you’re so damn tight-shit.”

His hand was squeezing roughly on your hip, and somehow you managed not to pull away. Marc wondered if that meant you were getting more adjusted to the pain. Now he could see why Steven was so obsessed with keeping his dick buried deep inside of you as much as possible. Nothing in Marc’s entire life felt so fucking good. He let out a choked sound while burying his face into your sternum, resting both hands on your hips.

“There-there you go-fuck.” He sucked back the saliva that threatened to fall from his lips.

You lowered yourself completely so you were sitting on him, and he was keeping his promise to remain still. That didn’t stop his cock from pulsating inside of you while you rested there. He looked up at you, mouth slackjaw and eyes hooded with arousal. Under different circumstances you might find yourself attracted to him. Instead you were frightened by the sight of him, quickly tucking your face into his neck so you wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Let me look at you honey. Gotta clean up the marks that Jake left,” he was trying to keep himself level headed, but his voice was rough and wrecked.

You sat back and looked at him. You heard a low roll in his chest accompanied by a twitch of his cock inside of you at the sensation. He looked at your skin with concern stitched in his furrowed brow. He touched one of the bite marks just above your collarbone. You winced and hissed back, reaching a hand up to cover it. Marc let out a breathy rasp at the feeling of you shifting on his member, but he brushed it aside and concentrated on your ailments once more. Marc’s brow turned up. If “I’m sorry,” had a face, it was etched on his expression in that moment.

“I’ll take care of you, okay? You know they only hurt you because they care, right?” He grabbed a soft cloth from the side of the tub and started to wet it in the warm bath water.

You shook your head, “you’re all horrible,” another tear slipped down your face.

“I know it feels that way right now, but if you just relax, and let us take care of you, then you’ll see…everything we do is because we love you.” He touched the towel to your wound, forcing another pained gasp from you, “I’ll always take care of you honey.”

“This isn’t love, it’s insanity,” you corrected him.

You weren’t wrong, it was insane, and Marc knew that, but wasn’t love itself a little crazy? The idea that this unseen thing could bind people so deeply…at least it sounded insane when Marc considered it. You had your eyes closed tightly while he continued to clean you. His arm brushed over your nipple accidentally and he felt your cunt flutter softly in response. He looked up at you, and you finally opened your eyes.

Beautiful.

Without words, he covered your right nipple in his mouth. He was still managing to keep himself from thrusting, despite wanting to so, so desperately. If he could get your sweet cunt to do that again though…oh it felt so fucking good. You let out a quiet and breathy moan. Marc cupped your breast up so he could flick over the peak while looking into your eyes. You still looked like you were in so much pain.

“Relax honey, just enjoy yourself, that’s the only thing you need to do.”

His voice was soothing against your ears. You hated it. You hated that you enjoyed listening to him say nice things to you, you hated that his cock felt good filling you up the way it did, and you hated that you wanted him to put his mouth back over your tit and suck harder. You hated all of it.

“I know you’re still trying to deny your feelings, I understand.” He said as though he’d read your mind. He brushed the pad of his thumb over your cheekbone. “The second you give yourself over to us, is when it will all start to feel better. I promise.”

You shook your head, “never gonna give in to you…fucking pigs.”

Marc loved you. He really loved you, but you struck a nerve calling them pigs. He was trying so hard to be patient and kind to you. Didn’t you see that he was the only chance you had at any sort of peace from the otherwise brutal nature the other two harbored? Jake was going to continue to bite and spank you until you were more obedient, and Steven was going to fuck you until their cock fell off, but Marc…Marc was going to be a paradise from all that, and you were being so fucking rude.

He grabbed your jaw in his strong hand, “I’m not the bad guy here honey.” His voice was gruff and raspy while he spoke through clenched teeth, “I’ve been nothing but fucking nice to you, but I can start to be real mean if you want me to be.”

You looked at him with nothing but fear in your eyes. You tried to wriggle away, but his hand on your hip was firm, and the grip on your jaw tightened. Marc breathed out a heavy moan, feeling the way your cunt slid over him in your attempt to get away from. It was intoxicating, the feeling of your walls clenching over his girth. He didn’t thrust, he didn’t, he just slowly pushed your hip down while rolling his own hips upward. It was so slow it could hardly be considered moving, but he felt it.

So did you, and you were ashamed to admit that it felt good. You weren’t going to fuck him, you weren’t, but if you tried to get away from him, surely he’d have to pull you back down…right? You struggled again, trying to get away from him, sliding up to the tip of his length, but he pulled you in tighter, shoving his cock deep into you again. You whined in response, trying to keep yourself from rocking your hips against him. Was there any harm in giving in like he’d suggested? If you were stuck there anyway…

“Fuck honey, can’t hold it in anymore,” he said in a low growl.

Any promise he’d made was tossed out the window as his orgasm took over. He was grunting loud, thrusting harshly upward into your cunt, splitting you open wider one snap of his hips at a time. You held onto him tight, nails digging into his shoulders roughly. A gasp fell from your lips. It hurt being fucked like that again. This time you didn’t even come, and it was clear he was going to make sure you didn’t get that privilege.

“Only good girls get to come,” he said as he came down from his orgasm.

When he was finished using you like the other two often did, he lifted you off his cock and put you down in the tub. It was for the best that you didn’t get to come, at least, that’s what you told yourself while he finished washing you. The ache between your legs was screaming for attention, but you were still determined to keep your composure, not wanting to give in to it. When you were done being washed, you got out of the tub, dried off and walked back to your bed.

Marc didn’t say anything else to you. He was trying to decide how he wanted to approach the situation. He was angry with you and your continued defiance. Maybe he was being too easy on you. Maybe Jake was right in his approach. Marc tried not to be so angry with you, but didn’t you see that he was just trying to love you? It would be so easy for you if you’d just stop fighting and let them treat you like the princess they thought you to be. He’d hoped you would be further along by then, it being a week in already, but it would seem he was mistaken.

You could tell he was upset, and fear coursed through your veins. What if he decided to punish you like Jake did? What if he told Jake about your disobedience? This didn’t look good for you, so you did the only thing you could think of to make him happy. Regardless of whether or not you wanted to avoid him wrongly thinking you were content with your life there, this was about survival.

Marc was about to press his thumb to the thumb print reader by the door when he heard you get off the bed. You grabbed his arm, your fingertips sent an electric current through him where they touched his skin. You looked at him with those big, beautiful eyes he loved so much. They looked like they were twinkling.

“I’m sorry, Marc,” you tried to appear as sincere as possible while looking longingly into his deep brown eyes. “Please don’t let them hurt me, please. I shouldn’t have said that.”

His face slowly lit up, changing from his angry furrowed brow to a softer expression. You felt stiff as you stepped back, eyes darting between his in the hopes that your plea worked. You felt disgusted with yourself, not wanting to make him think you favored him in the slightest, but you didn’t see another option. Your bites and bruises ached just at the thought of Jake’s ‘lessons’.

Marc cupped your cheek, sighing and looking at you affectionately “there’s my good girl. I left you a little something in the stuffed lamb I got you. Just don’t tell the other two, okay?”

You nodded slowly, “thank you,” you gulped, “t-thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome baby.”

----

Inside the lamb, behind the velcro opening, you’d found a small vibrator tucked away in the stuffing. No, you’d thought immediately, refusing at first to let yourself fall into any sort of comfort from the pleasure you knew it would bring you. Marc would be so happy if he thought you were using your vibrator that he got you. He’d think you were becoming more content with your life. You couldn’t let any of them think anything like that.

You kept up that way of thinking, that you were above using such a thing, until Steven was on top of you again, mouthing hungrily at your neck, leaving marks of his own on you. It hurt still, the ache of your hole getting stretched multiple times a day and being filled with copious amounts of his and Jake’s cum. It was getting easier, but the pain was there nonetheless. Marc seemed to keep himself from partaking in what the other two had no qualms in having as much as they could.

It had been two days since your bath, since you'd received the vibrator, and you knew they’d be back soon. They seemed to be out of the house most nights. It had been hours that you were alone and it was getting late. An idea struck you suddenly, a thought that you might be able to dull the ache in some way, assuming they’d want to take you when they got back. The vibrator stuck out when you opened the back of the lamb. It was bright pink against the white stuffing. You pulled it out, and turned it on. It was loud and the vibration was strong. If you could make yourself wet enough, it might hurt less when they had their way with you later.

That was the logic behind you laying back on your bed, legs spread out wide with the strong vibration resting on your clit. It was hard to feel grateful for Marc’s kindness, considering he was part of the reason you were there, one of three parts to be exact, but while you pleasured yourself you couldn’t help thinking of him a little.

You thought about how gentle he was with you in the tub, letting you lower yourself over his cock. He wasn’t like Steven, taking you no matter how hard you cried. Marc was different, but you wondered if that was what made him the most dangerous. He could be the one to make you start getting comfortable, so you vowed to yourself that you’d stay strong, no matter how soft he was with you, or how good he could make you feel.

While you were enjoying your moment of self love, Steven was fighting. They usually fought at night, but at this point Steven was normally home. It seemed to him like there was an influx of crime recently, or maybe he only felt that way because now he had something waiting for him at home and the losers on the streets were keeping him away from you. Either way, doing things the “humane” way was taking too long.

If the fact that he was dependent on Marc, Steven and Jake wasn’t enough, the second reason that Khonshu didn’t care that they were doing something so immoral, was that Steven turned to killing to speed things up. He found that ending the villains who terrorized the streets gave him the ability to finish their work faster, so they could get back to you sooner. Jake liked it too, it meant he and Marc could start killing again without hearing the constant nag of Steven’s good conscience judging him relentlessly.

Your vibe was so loud you didn’t even hear the door unlock. Steven walked in, love-dumb smile plastered on his face until he realized what you were doing. You gasped when you saw him, quickly switching off the toy, sitting up and staring at him wide-eyed. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks immediately while the two of you looked at each other unmoving.

“What a’you doin’ love?”

His white suit was covered all over in blood spatter. You tried to hide the vibrator quickly, as though you weren’t just seconds from mind numbing ecstasy, but he wasn’t dumb. The look on his face turned to one of utter betrayal as he charged forward. You flinched, covering your face in your hands and making yourself as small as possible. He grabbed the pink, plastic thing in his hand.

“Oh no. No, no, no, what is this?” He held up the toy in his hand, turning it around and inspecting it. “Who gave you this? Hm?”

“Steven, calm down, I just gave it to her as an act of goodwill, it’s not a big-“

“Marc…” an annoyed laugh escaped him, sending a chill through your body, “I should’ve known.”

Steven was pissed, to put it lightly. He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks while he tried to keep his composure. He looked down at it, and then back at you. This was unacceptable. How could you do something like that to him? He was right there ready to please you any time you needed. He was a warm body, he knew what you liked, and you would choose this thing over him?

“Look at me…” he spoke coldly.

Knowing the punishment would be worse if you didn’t, you removed your hands from your face and looked at him. You wiped the tears from your eyes, seeing him now standing over you with an abnormally enraged expression. His usual soft and loving gaze was filled with fury, forcing terror to pool in your gut.

“Love, why would you ever use something like this? Huh? What do you need this for when you’ve got me?” His expression shifted, he looked hurt.

“I’m sorry, please I’m so sorry I thought it was okay because-“

“It’s not!” He shouted, forcing you to flinch. “S’not ok. I’m better than any piece of fuckin’ plastic aren’t I? Don’t I make you feel good?”

Now you were starting to understand why Marc told you to keep your little toy a secret. You’d never seen Steven so upset, so angry. This was an anger born from deep betrayal, he was hurt. Knowing that he was probably going to bring Jake in to punish you, you decided to be proactive to show your willingness to behave. You could only hope that he would spare you.

Steven, despite his frustration with you, felt the nagging of arousal in his pants as your gaze fell on his groin. Your little hand reached up and brushed over the fabric covering his bulge, involuntarily Steven’s hips moved forward, chasing your touch. You looked up at him with those big eyes, desperation etched in every pore of your face.

“Darling,” Steven’s face softened a little. He cupped your chin roughly in his gloved, bloody hand. “I love you with all my heart, but you’ve really disappointed me today. I need you to know that.”

You felt the panic rushing through your body in a wave. With trembling hands you reached for the button of his pants, but he stepped back. Was he not going to let you please him? Was he not going to let you apologize in the way you knew he’d like? He must’ve been furious with you, more angry than you’d originally anticipated.

“No, no, no…if you think this thing is so wonderful, maybe I ought to give it a go, yeah?” Steven’s lips were curled into a frown, “you just sit there, and watch, and if I see you look elsewhere, we’re going to have an even bigger problem, love.”

He kept the vibrator in his hand while he undid his pants and pushed them down to his mid-thigh. His fat cock bounced as it was freed from the confines of his boxer-briefs. You gulped, watching him intently. You were determined to behave, not wanting to incite more anger from him than you already had. He turned on the toy, and the loud hum filled the room once more.

“There, let’s see what’s so special about this bloody thing.” He pressed it to the underside of his cock and immediately you saw his body tense. “Oh shit.”

“Steven, what's the plan?” Marc asked, tone riddled with nervousness, knowing that Steven could be unpredictable if provoked, “I’m not gonna let you hurt her, you need to just calm down.”

“Well love, this does feel rather good, I wouldn’t lie to you.” He kept his darkened eyes on you. “Doesn’t feel as good as your warm little cunt though.”

Steven was getting hot so he removed his coat quickly and brought the vibe back to his cock. He slid it back and forth from his balls to his leaking head. The slit in his tip was dripping so much there was a small wet spot on the floor below. You were watching like he’d demanded, and he could see you pressing your legs together tightly.

There was a burning in your groin. The sound of the vibrator mixed with the sight of Steven’s weeping erection was forcing your own arousal to build. You…you wanted him. There was no way you’d admit it, but you could feel it like an itch demanding to be scratched. You needed to feel his cock filling you again. Out of everything you’d been through, that feeling alone was what scared you the most. The moment you became content in your situation was the moment that you signed yourself over to this place being your future. You couldn’t let that happen.

“It’s my fault she has that thing in the first place, just let her apologize and move on.”

Steven was tuning him out and instead put all his focus on the delicious feeling of the vibe rolling over his length. Nothing would replace the way your warm, wet walls made him feel, but this did feel good. He saw you shifting uncomfortably, and he recognized that look in your eye.

“Oh, look at…ah-damn…look at you. I can see how worked up you’re getting darling.” He wiped away some spit that dribbled onto his chin. “Bet you’d like to feel me now, yeah?”

The feeling of the vibrator was causing his cock to twitch.

“You better teach her well amigo, teach her like I do.” Jake murmured.

Against your better judgment, you couldn’t hold back any longer. You needed some friction between your legs. You tried to be inconspicuous, bringing both of your hands to your tightly clenched thighs, making it look like you were just cold and trying to warm your hands.

Steven wasn’t stupid.

He snickered, “oh, you look rather pathetic right now don’t you?” He groaned, hips still churning over the noisy toy. “So needy, but you don’t get to have your way. You don’t get to hurt me like you did and still get to feel good.”

He stepped forward on shaking legs and wrapped his fingers around your throat. Steven felt you gulp underneath his palm. You brought both hands to his forearm, holding tightly. You had a beautiful look of terror in your eyes that brought him right to the edge. He squeezed tighter.

“I’m going to come love. I’m gonna-and then-I’m-you’re gonna-mm-so pretty-so pretty-ahh!”

You watched as Steven’s head fell back and thick white ropes spilled from the slit of his head. He was holding the vibrator in a way that most of his spend landed on the plastic casing. His body twitched when the feeling became oversensitive. He pulled the vibe off his length. Steven looked back down at you, face softer than before now that he was satisfied. He looked at the toy in his hand and then at you once more.

“Open your mouth, love.”

Steven watched as you slowly parted your precious lips. He put the vibe in your mouth, rolling it over your tongue.

“Clean it all up darling, be good f’me now. Maybe if you do well I’ll be less harsh when I give you your lesson…maybe.”

You closed your mouth over the toy, bobbing your head to collect every bit of cum that he coated it with. You parted your lips again, showing him that you were willing to drag your tongue over every bit to do a good job. You even leaned forward, taking the stray bits that had landed on his bloody glove into your mouth and swallowing. When you looked up at him, he seemed more than pleased.

“Wow, you’re absolutely perfect, love. I know this was an honest mistake right? You didn’t mean to upset me.”

“Of course not, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, Steven.” You hoped the pleading look was enough to help him understand how apologetic you truly were.

“Oh my sweet darling.” He brushed your cheek with his thumb. “I love you more than anything, and I truly wish that I could just let it go, but…” you watched, dumbfounded, as Steven took the toy between his two hands and snapped as though it were a thin little twig, “…I still have to teach you a lesson, are you going to be good f’me now?”

Your bottom lip quivered when you thought about how upset Marc would be when he saw you’d failed to keep your little secret from the other two. You wondered if he would want to punish you too. Of course you hadn’t meant to get caught with it, and you didn’t realize that Steven would’ve been so upset if he saw you using it. Running wasn’t an option now, it never was, so you saw no other choice than to nod and obey Steven’s commands.

“Yes,” you nodded, “I’ll…I’ll be good.”

A sadistic grin spread over his face. You watched him roll his sleeves up just above his elbows on either side. He walked over to the foot of the bed, you rotated to keep your front facing him at all times. One of his hands rested on his hips and he beckoned you forward.

“Come.”

You didn’t like being called like a dog, but you obeyed anyway, crawling to the edge of the mattress and then sitting back on your heels. Steven looked satisfied with your willingness to follow his instructions so far, though he’d only asked for so little. You were trying to stop your body from shaking but you couldn’t.

“Turn around and get on all fours.” He demanded.

No good could come from turning your back on him. At least when you faced him you could see the blows coming. Steven had never hurt you, nor had he ever treated you this way, so you weren’t sure what to expect. You turned slowly, propping yourself up on your hands and knees. You then felt something cold and metal touch your right side. You flinched away, but Steven had a firm grip on your left hip, holding you in place.

“Now, I won’t lie to you my love, this is gonna hurt…probably a lot…but it’s the only way you’ll learn.” You felt a soft tap on your rear from the metal, “move forward a bit, make room f’me.”

You complied, and then felt the bed shift behind you. It felt like he was playing with a steel pole on your back, rolling it from your shoulders all the way back to your rear like a massage tool. It felt nice, but you knew it was only temporary. The next time you felt the pole it was painful, striking against your left asscheek harshly. You wailed, falling forward onto the bed, feeling sobs start to overwhelm you immediately.

“Come back up here, come on!” Steven was yelling loudly, “not done yet love, don’t make me ask you again, keep yourself up. S’not that bad. I’ve seen Jake do worse.”

You gathered yourself, going back on all fours like he wanted. You saw the stuffed lamb Marc had given you just an arms length in front of you. You reached for it, hoping Steven wouldn’t protest. The plush toy felt comforting as you leaned down and held it close, making sure to still keep your ass in the air. Steven slid his hand over your sore cheek forcing a wince and a hiss from your lips.

“Yes love, hold on tight to that little thing Marc gave you. He’s so nice to you isn’t he? Maybe that’s why you thought you’d get away with somethin’ like this. He’s too soft on you.”

“Someone’s gotta be nice to her. You two don’t give her a chance to fuckin’ breathe,” Marc spoke up in his defense.

Another whack from the metal pole had you screaming and holding onto the stuffed lamb for dear life. You never thought that Steven, out of the three, would be the one to do this to you. Jake made perfect sense, he was dark, cold, and threatening. Marc could be harsh and clearly had a knack for discipline in his own right, but Steven…Steven had always been affectionate, in his own way…until now.

“Wanna hear you say you’re sorry love, tell me how sorry you are for hurtin’ me like that.” He used the baton to hit your side now, right along your ribcage. “Say it,” he spoke in a threatening tone.

“I’m sorry!” You screamed through your sobs, “I’m so sorry!”

“Can see why Jake likes this so much, all those pretty sounds you make…” he forced his cock into you so suddenly that you pushed yourself up on your arms in surprise, “fuckin’ hell. Keep cryin’ darling, keep begging me to-oh my God-keep beggin’ me to stop. Can’t get enough of how it sounds.”

He hit you again. Steven knew he should feel bad, but he couldn’t help the way your pained noises seemed to permeate his ears and peak his arousal. Even more, he was still angry about the vibrator, and wanted to make sure you never thought about betraying him like that again. Your cunt clenched over him the next time he gave you a swift crack against your side. You fell forward again.

“I’m sorry Steven, I mean it. I’ll never touch myself again without your permission, I’ll never do anything like that-ah!” You were interrupted by a blow to the left side.

You felt something warm drop on your lesser used hole. Spit, you thought. He didn’t have to tell you, you knew what he was going to do. The cold pole pressed against your tight ring of muscle. You relaxed, trying to make it less painful, but it didn’t matter how prepared you were, he was going in. You expected to feel nothing but agony when he stuffed the baton into your hole, but to your surprise it felt…good.

Steven noticed the change in you immediately. He felt the way you started to rock your hips back on your own over his cock and the pole he’d pushed deep into your ass. You stopped crying, and your cries were replaced by deep, guttural moans that filled the room. He’d never heard you like this and the sounds excited him more than he could fathom.

“Gonna have to try something like that myself, listen to her…” Jake sounded needy, which Steven didn’t like. It meant his time was running out.

You clutched the bedding in one hand and still held the stuffed toy in the other. His cock filled you up, and the pole made your brain stop functioning almost completely. You’d become so mentally numb that your mouth was stuck gaping and drooling into the lamb.

“Oh darling, that feels good dunnit?”

He didn’t need to hear you say, yes. Your screaming, moaning cry was more than enough to satisfy his question. He looked down, seeing the way your holes were stretched out in their dual penetration made his cock twitch inside of you. He watched your tight rim as it clenched around the pole at the same time your cunt throbbed over his girth. You fell forward again, and when Steven nearly felt himself slip out he’d had enough.

“Alright, open.” He demanded, pulling the pole from your rear.

You whined at the sudden empty feeling. You knew when he said open, he could only be talking about your mouth. You did as you were told, parting your lips. He brought the pole down to your open jaw.

“Cover your pretty little teeth love, or they’re gonna break,” he warned in a dark tone.

He gave you hardly any time to comply before he put the baton in your mouth horizontally and pulled back. He gripped the pole tightly with both hands like handlebars, holding you in place. It gave him the perfect leverage to fuck into you relentlessly without slipping out. This was the most brilliant idea Steven thought he ever had.

“There you go love, made myself a little toy out of you.” His voice was rough while he continued his unforgiving pace. “How do you like that, yeah? You like bein’ my little toy?”

You sobbed, feeling pain in your jaw from the pressure the pole put on you.

“If you choose a stupid-shit-oh-God-stupid toy over me again, I’ll make this pussy into my personal f-fuck toy.” He grunted, pounding harder. “Would you like that? Hm? Treat you like an object instead of the love of my life? Wouldn’t that hurt your feelings darling?”

Despite the agonizing way the pole stretched your lips out, you were close to climax. He was fucking you so hard, and something about the possessive way he called you his toy made your body feel hot. You relaxed into it, finally taking a moment to experience the pleasure of his ownership, and all at once the wave melted over you. Your deep moans filled the room while you came around his thick cock, arching your back as much as you could to feel him deeper.

Steven felt you clenching around him tightly. Your poor body was so weak, he could tell by the way you fell limp so soon after you came. Even with the pole holding you up, you dropped. He tossed it aside with a clank on the floor. Now he was there, sitting back and grabbing your hips tightly, continuing to fuck you roughly. He wondered if you fainted, your body wasn’t moving. It didn’t matter to him, he was going to fill you like you were made to take every last drop of him…and to Steven you were.

His hips came to a stop against your rear, hot white spurts of his seed shot into you. Seeing it fill you up so much it started leaking out the sides was Steven’s greatest pleasure. Your swollen and puffy hole was so beautiful with it split over him he could stare at it for hours. He pulled out of you and watched his spend trickle out onto the bedding. You started to fall over, onto your side, so he let you, now feeling a little concerned with the clarity washing over him.

“Love.” Steven shook you, but you weren’t moving and your eyes remained closed.

“Steven what the hell did you do?” Marc sounded furious.

“Everyone just stay calm, I’m sure she’s f-fine just takin’ a little rest is all…right Jake?” Steven’s body was trembling.

Jake took over, immediately feeling for your pulse. He slumped over, satisfied when the thump of your heart was there. He ran a hand over his face and huffed out a weary sigh. You were just resting, something you clearly needed after everything they continued to put you through. Jake retracted the suit completely, grabbed the broken pieces of the vibrator off the floor and left you in peace.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t really mean to hurt her, I was just…she was just…I mean she made me do it! How could she use that-”

“Enough!” Jake shouted when he got to the living room. He looked in the mirror, a three paneled piece they used so they could all “see” each other while they talked. “She’s been fairly well behaved, despite recent events.” He looked at the panel Steven was occupying. “I think it’s time we discuss giving her some more…freedom…what do you two think?”

Series Masterlist - Moodboard

Moon Knight Masterlist

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bahllinsqrews · 9 months

Text

Heightened Cloud 9 of Pleasure!

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You and Niki were coming home from a party with friends, you were just about to go to bed, you were about to take an ibuprofen to get the pain away when. You accidentally took the wrong pill, setting the night for you and Niki.

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Aphrodisiac drug

Multiple rounds

Messy cumming

Wringing Niki out

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This story is strictly fanfiction

Death threats, d"x threats, hate comments will not be tolerated

Negativity will be deleted

Requested: No♥️(Placeholder story for my absence in writing)

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The party was crazy, crazy enough to where you both had to wait a few hours with food cause you both got exhausted, twice. You both were coming home now and you wanted to get over this tired feeling by sleeping but your body was aching from all the dancing you both did. You couldn't really see thanks to your brain shutting down so you ended up taking a random pill instead of the one you intended to take, starting to make you feel a little warm.

You thought it could be your mind just imagining your warm bed when you got in it to sleep for the night. Niki was coming out of the bathroom, already dressed for bed, seeing you then smiling as he helped you out of your clothes and getting you into your sleeping nightgown before being unexpectedly dragged to lay down on top of you. Thanks to him you had no panties on which meant that you didn't have to spend that extra step. Niki was of course confused but he saw how red your face was and how hot your skin felt under his touch before he looked at the pills you took with wide eyes, seeing the heart shaped pills on the table, you had taken the aphrodisiac pills instead of your sleeping ones.

He had to take a moment to fix this. Feeling your wet core so close to his bulging pants made it a little easier for him, only having to slip his pants as far down as possible in reach to get himself out. He fixed your legs onto his waist and lifted your hips just enough to meet him halfway. He knew you wouldn't wait any longer so he plunged himself in and tapped your cervix without warning, making you scream a little past the drool covered lips. Your walls were keeping him nice and tight there, making him hold you close to his body while your arms went around his neck. He started moving, groaning in your ear a little while you basked in the pleased feeling.

You kept his hips moving into you, your moans keeping him solid during this induced night. He was slightly thinking of taking one of these pills and getting back at you, his hips were a little tired. He pressed you against the headboard, holding one of your hips and the other running through his hair as the gentle beads of sweat covered his forehead. You were enjoying yourself, then you felt him pull out then stuff himself into your ass so he could finish without a baby, he knew you weren't in your right mind to ask.

He kept mercilessly pounding into you, keeping your hips still while you almost lost your voice, feeling him hit at your best spots. His hot milk came out in long thick ropes inside of you, giving you a nice creampie to make you cum with him. He pulled out, still having more he came and covered your back, the drug wearing off faster than you expected. You were tired and your body was trembling, so was Niki. He found some strength to run a bath and get some healing salts in before you and him soaked for a little. He was still using that pill next time.

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Sorry for the wait, I ended up getting a few minor body pains that kept me a little inactive but I'm still writing the requests! Don't worry!!

#kpop #smut #enhypen nishimura riki #enhypen riki #enhypen #nishimura riki #enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen riki smut #riki smut #nishimura smut #enha niki #niki nishimura #enhypen niki #niki smut #niki x reader #riki nishimura x reader #riki x reader

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elucienweekofficial · 3 months

Text

Elucien Fanfic Crossword Answer Key- One Shots

How did you do? It's our hope through this week of puzzles that folks are able to find an existing fanfiction that speaks to them! Consider these a small masterlist filled with recommendations from the community itself. Below you'll find every fanfiction recommended attached to the author who created it, added in the order they were submitted! Fics were also categorized to their best of our ability. Check them out below!

Heading Straight to You by @lucienarcheron

Inspired by a tumblr post I've also linked below: "I need elain to have her anthony bridgerton moment where lucien asks if she wants him to sever the bond and leave & she goes “do you think there’s a corner on this earth that you could travel to far enough to free me from this torment? you are the bane of my existence. and the object of all my desires."

So I decided to give elucien their own bridgerton moment :) Enjoy!

Hot and Clumsy by @witch-and-her-witcher

Feyre had warned him against falling into bed with her sister - but why hadn't she warned Lucien against the greater threat?

Of falling deeply, madly, inconceivably in love with Elain Archeron.

Lucien catches feelings bad in the yoga studio.

full moon, white honey by @shardminds

The worn parchment that had once held a recipe lay untouched in her quarters. She no longer needed it. Celandine, White Myrtle, Brain of a Drowner. Crush, Boil with Spirit, Bottle once cooled. Thirteen words seared into her bones. For the Witcher who too often showed her his.

all is for love, is for mind by @shardminds

Lulled by the song of the wind as it called through the valley, Elain watched the clouds form impossible shapes, carried on the same breeze that cooled her heated skin, and asked the only question she had left.

“What does love feel like?”

Letters by @nocasdatsgay

Lucien takes the brunt of Koschei’s curse and using her powers Elain sees the key to saving him is somewhere in the stack of letters he’s sent her over the years.

Hover Corte by. @areyoudreaminof

On her own self-imposed exile, Elain finds herself in the human lands to offer help to the Band of Exiles and try to make some progress with her estranged mate. Lucien, meanwhile, can’t quite find his footing with Elain. With the clock ticking, can they finally come to an understanding?

This Time, I'm Ready by @lucienarcheron

Inspired by Long Story Short by TS. I was listening to it randomly and a scene of Elain started playing out in my head. Recommend listening to it while reading :)

A Heartbreak in Mid-December by @climbthemountain2020

Lucien gets rip-roaring drunk after yet another failure of a Solstice and spends some time reflecting on the events that led him here. He decides that perhaps it's time to let go of the bond once and for all.

ClimbTheMountain2020 couldn't stop picturing Elucien scenarios while listening to Neck Deep.

A Cut Above The Rest by @crazy-ache

“Wait!” Elain clambered to her feet, jumping off the bed. He looked at her expectedly, dagger in one hand and a handful of hair in the other. What was there to say? That she had always secretly adored his hair just the way it was? That he couldn’t possibly cut it before she even had the chance to run her fingers through it? “Let me do it,” she said.

While on the run in the Continent, Elain and Lucien must discuss what has remained unspoken after a frightening incident.

Desperately Waiting by shipatfirstsight

She tries not to think about Lucien

And now good-morrow to our waking souls by zipadeea

“Good morrow to you, little Lucien,” Rhysand crooned as he stepped forth from the shadowy ether, watching Lucien stand slowly and brush the grass from his trousers. “Here to treat with me again regarding my bargain with Feyre darling?”

Lucien took a deep breath, willing the need to punch the smirk off Rhysand’s smug face out of his body.

“No. Well,” Lucien said thoughtfully. “Yes. I suppose. I want you to keep her. Don’t bring Feyre back at the end of the week. Keep her in the Night Court.”

***

Lucien tries to save the three Archeron sisters. He fails.

Cinnamon and Honey by @velidewrites

Lucien has long given up on his crush on Elain Archeron — until she drops by his flower shop to return a bouquet from her now ex-boyfriend.

I Can't Help Myself From Looking At You by @tuzna-pesma-snova

Years have passed since Elain had last seen Lucien and since she had broken the bond. But once all High Lords get invited to Nyx's 18th birthday party their encounter is inevitable. Will this encounter change everything or not?

Rita's Shenanigans by @vulpes-fennec

Hoping to break the ice with her mate, Elain enlists her family’s help in setting up a night out at Rita’s. A post-ACOSF, Modern AU (with Fae lore).

Troublesome Child by NovaComette

Rhysand and Feyre left for the day and it's up to Elain and Lucien to take care of Nyx. And what hell of a day they'll have to deal with.

Help! I'm Fainting by @sunshinebingo

“I need a healer,” Elain loudly exclaimed. “What!?” Lucien pulled his chair back in a panicked state. Was she sick? What was – Elain reached him before he could stand and oh so gently dropped herself on his lap with a breathless, “Help! I’m fainting.”

...

When his mate barged into his office claiming to be sick, Lucien had to find out what she had and how to take care of her.

bet on me by @crazy-ache

Elain is caught sulking at her sister's mating ceremony. Lucien wagers a drinking game to prove who knows the other best.

“Go on. Tell me all about myself, Lucien Vanserra.”

And there is the matter of something charged sitting between them at the table. He was challenging her. An invitation for friction, a consideration to be included in the joke, a bid to entwine in something deliciously improper. Elain could not remember the last time anyone had offered her anything remotely tantalizing.

Inspiration by @lucienarcheron

Prompt: Modern AU | Aspiring writer Elain Archeron is looking for some inspiration for her new novel when she happens to meet the perfect man for the job.

Forget Me Not by @lucienarcheron

Drunk Elain and her shenanigans.

in eternal bloom by @crazy-ache

On the quest to find the sixth mortal queen, Lucien Vanserra meets a human with brown eyes and that same stubborn Archeron nose. Together, on their search for Vassa, Lucien befriends Elain’s father, and learns a bit more about his mate.

I Like You by @fieldofdaisiies

Elain decides that she is ready to make a move towards Lucien. And yes, it is a bit sad.

Speak Now by @separatist-apologist

I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion. But you are not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don't touch) by @belabellissima

But in the end, it didn’t matter what Elain did to protect the puzzle - three pieces had been missing right from the start. They would never fall into place. Elain felt like that puzzle every time she saw Lucien, every time Feyre brought up his name, tried to push Elain into accepting him. She could see the image, see the outcome in her mind - the perfect life, the love, the children, the years together - but she wasn’t whole. She was lacking those pieces - the one thing that would make her the full image of a perfect, doting wife.

Or: The author saying ace!Elain rights.

Metamorphosis by @starry-mantle

How a butterfly and some reference books lead Elain to reconsider the mate she's been trying so hard to ignore.

A Feeling So Peculiar by @rarephloxes

As Elain struggles to embrace her new body after being drowned in the Cauldron for political purposes she has never been privy to, she undertakes the gruesome journey to dissociate herself from whomever she has ever been or could ever become, Elain feels ready to do what it takes to quiet her mind and dull her senses. In her haste and need to flee while staying inside, she finds herself drawn to knowledge that will change the course of her destiny.

Or: The Healer!Elain fic

curses and gifts by @crazy-ache

In which Elain is cursed to live that fateful day with the Cauldron again and again and again. Until a choice is made.

lost in your current (like a priceless wine) by @withclawandvine

On Elain’s birthday Lucien sends her a gift. She decides she’s going to put an end to these unwanted, unreciprocated presents once and for all. Instead, something begins.

Sunshine and Reunions by @shallyne

This Oneshot plays in the same Universe as Sunshine and Promises BUT you can read it seperately

Elain is sick and Lucien visits her

#elucien #elucien fanfic #elucienweek2024 #elucien crossword

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18caramel · 7 months

Text

Lust

Sodapop Curtis x f!OC

Warnings: smut Word count: 1.8k

A/N: what you are about to read is a part of my fanfiction on AO3 called "Bad Influence”. If you are interested in it, you can find me by my username @18caramel, or by clicking on the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53118478/chapters/134401192

pictures taken from Pinterest :)

It was dark in the bedroom. Dusty curtains blocked all the lights, and they decided to keep it that way. Natalie couldn't dare to light up the candle she spotted on the nightstand, too afraid to burn her fingers. Soda searched the kitchen for a box of matches and naturally wanted to open the cupboard, but it was locked, which raised suspicion, but then again, he wasn't the one to judge. He stole a bottle of wine, promising to himself that he'd return the favor to the owner.

When they finally lit it, the room showed its colors. Natalie lay on her stomach on the scarlet blanket, her feet swinging in the air as she read a magazine that she found under the bed. When she finally looked at him, her eyes were blazing red. The red wine that Soda brought into the bedroom blended well with the feeling he gained from seeing her white clothes contrast with the bedroom. And the intimacy of the moment that he sought for the past two years was telling him that they weren't doing anything wrong.

Soda didn't need alcohol to get drunk to enjoy it, but it seemed like she did. They stayed up another half hour finding out more about themselves, talking about school, their families, and their interests, without any physical contact.

"Have you had a girlfriend before?" Natalie asked him, still chuckling about the joke he made earlier.

"Yeah. I had a few, but I'd say I had only one real relationship." Sodapop made quotation marks with his fingers but saw that Natalie wasn't looking at his hands. She locked her eyes with his, and he sensed that she had probably drunk too much.

"Oh." She looked surprised, "Why did you break up?"

"She cheated on me," Sodapop replied without telling anything else. It seemed like it was enough. Soda looked at her, seeing the guilt drawn all across her face. Saying that Sandy got pregnant with another man would make her regret asking for anything else even more.

"I'm sorry." Natalie said, placing her hand on his thigh, "I never had a boyfriend before."

Soda didn't want to add anything to it. His heart ached just like the day he had received her letter, unopened. First love always stung, and he wondered if Sandy ever thought about him after she left. He could never find out, she never wrote back, never called.

Soda glanced at her, understanding what she meant. She never had to experience that kind of heartbreak or maybe none at all, she had both of her parents alive and a brother who looked after her. Soda's eyes faded but he tried to push the negative thoughts away. Comparing himself to her wouldn't do him any good. And what was the point? Natalie seemed to like him the way he was.

Maybe she never had a boyfriend before, but she sure made it look like a lie when she put her hand on his cheek and gently kissed him. He wasn't expecting it from her, Soda imagined that she would want him to make the first step. Alcohol probably played a big role in her confidence, but Soda didn't mind. Only maybe it was too soon.

Then he really thought she was fibbing. Her tongue ended up in Soda's mouth in a matter of seconds, and he really couldn't put his mind on how she could want them to get closer that quickly. Jealousy was building up inside of him because she did it well, and maybe her word for 'boyfriend' wasn't implying any ephemeral dates. They were sitting on the bed that whole time, Soda's right hand holding the empty glass of wine, the other sliding down her waist.

Natalie soon got wilder, sitting on Soda's lap. The glass of wine put aside, he grabbed her waist with his hands gripping her body as she held his face in hers. The temperature rose, and Soda's guilt did too - he couldn't drop the thought of it being too inopportune. Not that he didn't want it, but because he was too afraid to ruin everything. He kept telling himself that he wasn't the one to insinuate it and tried to forget Steve scolding him for going out to see her. He told him many stories, but it was usually greasers who took advantage of girls from the West, not the other way around. He wished he'd drunk a bit more wine.

He finally took a break from his thoughts when he was shirtless. It didn't bother him anymore because he liked what they were doing. Soda laid her down on the bed, his lips exploring her bare neck and collarbone. She closed her eyes. The light coming from the candle let Soda see her smiling. He felt relieved about everything. The past years were harsh, Darry working two jobs, and Ponyboy studying like never before. And Soda could finally exhale.

Natalie sat up and took off her cardigan with the shirt underneath it, letting Soda know she was serious about what was happening. Her eyes radiated lust as she watched him take a closer look at her body. It felt like she was in a rush and Soda wanted to take their time. Her unclipped bra told him that he wasn't the one who'd decide. Her words of never having a boyfriend replayed in his mind, and he desperately wanted to forget them because it made him doubt. Natalie knew what she was doing, taking full control of him.

But instead of assuming things Soda knew that he was old enough to address the issue. But he waited a bit, his hand trailing up her body and touching her breast. She didn't seem to mind it at all, she smiled through their kiss and took his other hand, placing it on the other one.

"We don't have to rush it." Soda broke the kiss. Natalie let go of him and fell on her back, her head resting against the pillow.

"But I want to." Natalie said, placing her left foot on his thigh, "Do you?"

"I want to but I don't know if you are ready for it," Soda admitted, trying not to make it sound too rough. It wasn't his intention to mock her for anything, he genuinely wanted her to feel ready. He had started to assume that maybe bringing her there was a bad idea, maybe she thought that they had to use that bed, and it's not what he wanted her to assume.

"I don't think I'm ready either." Natalie shook her head, "But I want you to please me."

Soda's widened eyes were about to fall out when he heard her say it. His heartbeat raced and he bit his bottom lip, trying not to fall for her words. He didn't know she was that confident, his first impression was that she was rather timid, but at that moment he knew that it was going to be hard for him to forget her if they'd parted separate ways.

"You're full of surprises." Soda smiled, and before she could've said anything he climbed on top of her, kissing her lips. Topless, they lay there for a few minutes, their tongues dancing around. He managed to get off his jeans, and Natalie pulled up her skirt, letting him touch her bare thighs. It's not like he's never done it before, he thought to himself, feeling his heart skip a beat when he felt the fabric of her underwear with his fingers. He didn't have a girlfriend for a long time but it never meant that he didn't have his guilty pleasures from time to time. Nobody really knew except Steve, Soda would never bring a random girl to the house, Darry would never allow it, and it could never set a good example to Ponyboy. Now it rather felt like Soda was the one that Natalie brought home, but he didn't mind. She knew what she wanted and he could easily give it to her.

When she felt Soda's finger slide in between them, she let out a moan, making Soda face her. His eyes were blazing now too. He felt her clit and took out his finger, placing it near her lips. Soda let out a small sigh when she licked it and got back to business, playing with her clit, rubbing it, and watching Natalie's face decompose with pleasure.

"Everything's okay?" Soda asked, trying to figure out if she wanted him to stop.

She nodded, smiling, "Keep going."

"Is this how you want me to please you?" Soda looked at her, his fingers traveling further down, his thumb still on her clit. Natalie kissed him, but he broke it, making her focus on the new pleasure that she was receiving.

Soda held her hand while he carefully inserted a finger, watching her eyes widen. Soda stopped for a moment, waiting for a green light. She didn't say anything, only nodded once again, catching her breath. He kissed her on the lips as he moved his finger back and forth, feeling the pain his erection was causing him since the first time they kissed.

"Get down," Natalie commanded, making Soda bite his lip. She sure did boost his confidence. He found it hot that she didn't feel ashamed of being there. He cocked an eyebrow, knowing that the next time he'd see her she would crawl back to him. Soda was sure she'd do anything to have her first time with him.

"Beg for it," Soda said as he kissed her body, inserting another finger. Natalie wasn't lying about not having a boyfriend, Soda thought, feeling the tightness of her walls, wishing his cock could have experienced it too. He licked her nipples, hearing her groan each time he'd bite them.

"Fuck," she let out a moan, gripping the bedsheets, "Soda, please, taste it."

She didn't need to say anything else because she secretly wanted it so bad that he was about to rip off her skirt and bend her over for what she had told him. But he could never let his lust hurt her, even if she wanted it.

Too bad, she'd have to wait, Soda thought, getting down. Two fingers in, the other two spreading her lips, he licked her clit, not taking his eyes or her. She was holding her breast with one hand, the other one still gripping the bed sheets. It didn't last too long, it was her first orgasm and she came as soon as Soda started to press his tongue harder and harder against her clit as he sucked it.

Her thighs tensed around Soda's head and then the pressure finally dropped. He took his wet fingers out of her, not licking them. He didn't want her to think that anything else was going to happen that night, it was more than enough.

He let her stay in bed as she tried to get back to her senses. He washed his hands and brought her a glass of water.

"How are you feeling?" Soda asked her after she thanked him.

"Great." She replied, yawning. Soda saw that she was getting sleepier, and accompanied her to the bathroom. Later, he blew off the candle, holding her body closer under the scarlet blanket.

A/N: thank u for reading! for a more in-depth story you can find it on AO3 "Bad Influence" by @18caramel, here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53118478/chapters/134401192

#the outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #the outsiders fanfic #outsiders fanfiction #outsiders fanfic #sodapop curtis #sodapop x oc #smut #sodapop x reader #60s #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders oneshot

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wonuwrites · 3 months

Text

"A House In Nebraska" ot13 Song Reaction

Before we start: Warning: this song is heavy and talks about really heavy topics and even mentions about Suicidal thoughts. Personally, I, @wonuwrites don't like writing about suicide or suicidal thoughts because it is a very triggering subject for so many people (myself included.) I will mention the suicide part in this reaction. Having said that, PLEASE do not read this reaction if it will affect you in a negative way. You are WAY more important than a fanfiction on this silly website. if you ever need to talk, please message me.

Just wanted to put this warning before we started because I felt it was important.

requested from this anon x

Warning/author's note : This will be a lot more heavier than things I usually write. (pls send me pet pictures or fluffy wonwoo drabbles) This will be post-apocalyptic themed with hints of the song "A House In Nebraska" by Ethel Cain. There will be talks of suicide like I mentioned above, also death, dread, trauma, and so many other things. I will write happier drabbles and things after this so please once again if this is too heavy please skip. I love you all and want everyone to be safe. I know I say this often but please if you are a minor- DO NOT INTERACT. Also this took so long for me to write because it was rough to write. I had to make sure I was mentally okay <3

Just like all my song preferences before: members parts will be in order of the song lyrics.

Let the angst begin <3

Scene:

Everything was normal for a year until some governments were a little bored and decided to do experiments on their inmates of the respected countries. Some of these experiments went a little haywire and caused a pandemic. The pandemic caused a very contagious disease that made 2020's COVID-19 look like child's play. The disease made people lose their minds and the only way to cure it was to put them down. Many people compared it to be a modern day zombie apocalypse except for zombies it was homicidal psychopaths. When the pandemic first happened, you and your boyfriend (member of Seventeen) took refuge in a House in Nebraska, USA. It was secluded and you both thought nobody would find you and harm you. Happy endings don't always happen though. After many days of skipped meals and sleepless nights, the worst happened. You watched the love of your life walk out the door to get some food from the garden when a stray homicidal was walking down the road. Before he could grab a gun to kill the homicidal, the Homicidal shouted alerting more Homicidal's to come. There you watched the love of your life try to defend you both before getting infected. It was then when you had to defend yourself from the Homcidal's and even the love of your life. After shooting the only person who knew you for you, these were the memories that would haunt you until your dying breath.

Actual Members Reactions Now~

⌂ DK: "Labored breaths and bed sores, sing it to me all day long, when the aching 'Sound of Silence,' used to be our favorite song."

It had been no more than two awful weeks since you had to kill Seokmin. The memory of the look in his eyes when he realized he was infected scared you. It haunted you. He slid you the gun and just whispered "I love you, (Y/N)." You had to do it but it killed you to do so. Ever since, you just laid on the once shared dirty mattress. At this point you had been just laying down and getting bed sores due to lack of activity but in all honesty, you just wanted to return to the love of your life. You didn't want to live without him any longer. You felt your breath getting labored and you closed your eyes praying that it was your time to go. As if it were a miracle, you heard faintly the love of your life singing "sound of silence" which used to be your favorite song due to the memes. You choked back a sob before whispering, "I'm coming home Seokmin, I am so sorry."

⌂ Mingyu: "You and me against the world, you were my man and I your girl."

You stared down at your whole world who starred back up at you with blood dripping down his chin. He was still warm but he was gone. You looked around and saw a lot of other Homicidal's scattered across the gravel driveway. You didn't have one clear thought as you realized what you had to do. The one person who promised to be with you until the end of time was shot because of you. You both swore that if one of you got infected, you would shoot one or the other no matter what. However, with the seclusion of the house in Nebraska you both thought that it just would not happen and things would eventually be better. Life without Mingyu now though, it wouldn't be better even if this pandemic ended. So you did what you had to do. You dragged Mingyu into the house and drenched both you and his body in gasoline. You cried while doing so because the thought of dying was horrifying, however living was just not an answer as well. You took a deep breath before pressing a kiss onto Mingyu's forehead. You held onto him as you flicked the lighter and set both of you ablaze. The world may have won this battle, however you knew that you would both find each other in every lifetime that came.

⌂ Dino: "And I still call home that house in Nebraska, where we found each other on a dirty mattress on the second floor."

Once the pandemic hit Korea, you both ran refuge to America because there were more places to be secluded. Chan always joked that Nebraska was a myth because "nobody lives there" until that's where you found home. A worn out house that looked like it had been vacant since 1958. There wasn't much to it but a dirty mattress on the second floor. Any fear of germs vacated as it seemed better than a hardwood floor. The first night you spent on that dirty mattress, Dino and you had torn up some of your own shirts to use as a sheet and held each other for comfort. You swore that no matter what you would be together.

⌂ Woozi: "Where you told me even if we died tonight, that I'd die yours."

Jihoon and you made a promise that you would be together throughout the whole pandemic. You both would live together or you both would die together. After surviving for months, living seemed so much brighter. You both were a light to each other during this dark time. When you saw Jihoon get bit, you felt like your world shattered. He tossed the gun at you and looked up at you begging you to shoot him. You ended up shooting the rest of the homicidals but left the love of your life for last. "Y/N, kill me." You heard him beg. He wasn't infected quite yet but the color in his eyes was starting to change. It was a matter of time before he was like the homicidals. So you did what you promised him. You sat in front of him and put your head against his temple. He tried to push you off when he realized you were planning on shooting both of you at the same time. He wanted you to live but you still fired the shot killing him and injuring you. You ended up passing from lack of blood next to the love of your life. You both died together and as each others persons. Just like you promised.

⌂ Joshua: "Your mama calls me sometimes to see if I'm doing well and I lie to her."

About a year after shooting Jisoo, the pandemic had been lifted. You left the house in Nebraska and tried to live life the way you had before meeting Jisoo, before the pandemic and it was hard. It was so fucking hard. Especially since most of his family had survived. His mother would call you once a month once the pandemic was over even though she knew what you did. When you saw her name on your phone, guilt always ate you. She told you she didn't blame you and you shouldn't do the same thing however it was easier said than done. Whenever she asked how you were doing, you always gave her little white lies in hopes that she would believe you and hope that someday it would be true.

⌂ Vernon: "And I say I'm doing fine when really I'd kill myself to hold you one more time."

After Hansol passed, you left the house in Nebraska after setting him on fire. The only thing you had left of him was a plaid shirt that he wore often. You wore it every day and left with it on. You found a camp of other survivors and they welcomed you in with open arms. Nobody knew what you did but they knew you saw some heavy things. Someone named San was at the camp as well and wanted to know why you didn't smile. He would ask you how you were doing and your answer was always the same. "I'm fine." It was a safe answer and one San realized would be the only thing you would give. You thought San was nice however, your heart was burnt in Nebraska along with Hansol. Each day that passed, you wanted to kill yourself so you could be with your other half. Living without Hansol was the worst pain and nobody could ever understand.

⌂ Seungkwan: "And it hurts to miss you but it's worse to know that I'm the reason you won't come home."

You didn't know what hurt more. Missing Seungkwan being around physically or feeling remorse for killing him. When he took his last breath, you knew it was what you had to do but it didn't make the pain any more bearable. Seungkwan was your missing piece. He was the ying to your yang. The Bonnie to you Clyde. He was everything and him not being there was simply awful. You spent so many hours a day crying and just craving him to hold you just one more time. However you knew that he couldn't come back. You just prayed he would be waiting for you.

⌂ S. Coups: "You know, I still wait at the edge of town praying straight to God that maybe you'll come back around."

Killing Seungcheol drove you mad. You knew he was gone but you still would look out the window and walk to edge of town hoping to see him running home to you. Maybe him being infected was just a bad dream and he was coming to your makeshift home with some much needed supplies. Maybe he was still alive and you would see him again soon. One night when you made your way to the edge of town you saw a being in the distance. He looked so much like Seungcheol. Your heart started beating faster than ever as you started running toward 'Seungcheol.' As soon as you made it to them, you realized it was a scarecrow that was just propped up. You fell to your knees and started wailing out Seungcheol's name. You sobbed until you couldn't handle it anymore and just laid down and prayed to God that you could be reunited with your one true love once again. It took a few hours but soon your last breath was taken laying right next to the scarecrow.

⌂ Wonwoo: "I cry everyday, and the bottles make it worse 'cause you were the only one I was scared to tell I hurt."

You were no stranger to Jack Daniels and mental breakdowns prior to meeting Wonwoo all those years ago. You struggled with mental health and the only one who knew how deep your mental health struggles and alcohol uses was Wonwoo. So when you shot him with his own gun you ran back to what you knew best. Your addictions. You used to be afraid to confess when you missed alcohol to him but with him you ended up being a year sober. However, the familiar taste of whiskey burning the back of your throat numbed the regret and remorse. You knew he would've shook his head at your actions but at the same time, who could blame you?

⌂ Minghao: "I thought you were so beautiful, it was love, I guess."

Once the pandemic hit, it was hard to see things as beautiful. However, when you met Minghao at a camp before you made yourself home in that house in Nebraska, you thought he was so beautiful. His giggles that ended up haunting your every thoughts, the soft stare he'd give you, the way his arms would wrap around you when life got too scary. It was all so beautiful. One of the main regrets you had was that you didn't realize how much you loved this beautiful man until it was too late. When he was gone, dullness took over again and it was hard to find anything beautiful.

⌂ Hoshi: "And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night."

Delusions started to eat you alive, you ended up just thinking Soonyoung left you instead of you murdering him. You thought it was just a scary nightmare and he was just getting supplies for you both to survive. So you waited for him. You stayed up staring at the door like a stranded puppy waiting for their owner to come home from a silly 9-5. You lost track of the days and couldn't remember the last time you ate. However, you heard a noise from the outside and all you could think of was Soonyoung. You opened the door and ran to the tall figure. You didn't realize it was a homicidal until you felt venom run through your veins. By then it was too late and you were one of them.

⌂ Jun: "But God, I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're alright."

Out of all the members, Jun actually survived. You shot the dirt next to him and he played 'dead.' He heard your screams of heartbreak and he felt so horrible. However, he knew the homicidal's came for a reason and he had just found a cure for a bite. However, there was not enough food for both you and him so he hid the fact that there was a cure from you. Instead, he decided to "die" and leave the food and everything for you in that house. After you did a shallow grave for him, he crawled out of the grave and made his way to a camp. He oathed if he could find more supplies he would come back for you. However, after he found more supplies and food he came back to an empty house. There was no sign of you and it broke him. He blamed himself. He should have told you what he discovered. He would spend every moment until his last breath trying to figure out what happened and where you went.

⌂ Jeonghan: "And I feel so alone out here and I feel so alone without you."

Prior to Jeonghan, you considered yourself super independent. You could take care of yourself because that was all you had known how to do. However, once you met Jeonghan, you became codependent. As much as you could, you turned your brain off because he always had a plan. You always were together so when he passed, you felt so alone. You tried your best to find who you were before Jeonghan came into your life but it was practically impossible. Everytime you thought about moving on, you felt a piece of you die. One night when it was raining, you couldn't handle laying down on a dirty mattress by yourself anymore so you went to his grave and laid next to it. You felt insane as you started to put soil on you to feel closer to him but believe it or not you felt him there. You closed your eyes as rain droplets continued to splatter across your face and took your last breath. You couldn't wait to be reunited with Jeonghan.

holy shit it's finally finished. I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry it was so heavy. fluffy shit is coming <3

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kengan-daddies · 1 year

Text

My Byzantine Romance: Ohma Tokita x (F) Reader

Chapter 1, Chapter2

MY BYZANTINE ROMANCE : OHMA TOKITA X (F) READER

Anime : Kengan Ashura

Pairing: Ohma Tokita x (F) Reader

Warnings: Mention of death, horror, Violence, Mental Heath, Toxic Parents

You were an average woman, living in the big world, the city was busy and as loud as usual. The peoples where hustling and bustling, going to and fro. It was cloudy, but it wasn't raining. A relaxing breeze in the air, the leaves slowly changing colors, matching the cooling weather. Men and women of all ages, all going to different places.

You walked along the crowd, your mind wondering yet focused as you just walked, a destination in mind yet also not. You were an average woman, nothing special stood out about you, you weren't pretty, you weren't ugly, your weren't smart, you weren't dumb, you weren't tall, you weren't short, you weren't strong, you weren't weak. You were just average.

Average everything, you lived with your family, never having enough money to own your own place, you just made enough to take care of your needs, your hobbies and to help your family with groceries and household products. You sighed as you stopped suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk, your mind processing before you shook your head and you continued on walking. 'Nope, got everything this time.'

You thought as you walked through the crowd, you passed by all kinds of people everyday, but nobody every really stood out that much, every now and then you'll see someone wearing your favorite anime as a shirt or hat, a favorite band or even have a similar aesthetic to yours. For a split second you'd think of walking over an talking to them about it, but then you'd loose your nerves. 'What fi they think I'm weird? What if they don't actually know the anime or band? What if they don't feel like talking? What if they're a bad person? A kidnapper? A murder? A rapist?... Never mind, I should keep to myself.'

You'd think, you wanted to make friends, but with how messed up the world was, you'd always second guess it. You were a scary cat, you'd rather stay inside then actually go out an adventure alone. You'd dream of going out, going to places at night, or to stores you never been in. You'd think of moving out, getting away from your toxic parents, you'd think of dating... but non of it would ever happen. You were too scared, too cautious, too aware of your reality.

'I need to get home, I'm ready to start on this new fanfiction, it looks good and I wanna read it. Not to mention I even found an amazing writer on Tumblr who has a pretty large masterlist. They write about my favorite character, he doesn't get enough love.' You thought, as you can see yourself now, laying in your bed, the room dark, the TV on low playing your favorite show/song in the back. You sighed blissfully.

"Woah!!" You said, as you came back into reality right before you ran into a person. You stared at them for a while. 'Man, this guy is huge.' You thought as you looked up at him. His skin was tan, and his hair was shaggy and wild, he wore a red and black jacket with blue jeans. "Sorry!!" You said with an awkward laugh and a little wave. He stared down at you, a strange fire in his fierce eyes before he seemed to relax. "It's fine." He said in a low voice. 'Wow, he's sexy with a sexy voice too?' You thought as you stepped around him with a small nod as you continued on your way. 'Man that guy was hot... Wonder what he would be like if he was my boyfriend....no,no,no... he probably already have a girlfriend, and knowing my luck he wouldn't even spare me a second glance.'

You thought in self pity as you walked on, slowly forgetting about your encounter with the man as you made your way on to your destination.

You sighed in happiness as you crawled into your bed, tossing your phone onto your pillow as you plopped down next to it, your aching legs tensing before relaxing. "HEHEHEHEHEEH!!!! I've been on my feet ALL DAY LONG!!!!" You giggled in glee as you pulled the blankets on you, snuggling into your cocoon. Your hand slipped up from the blanket to grab your phone, you turned it on, punched in the password, the screen lightening up to revealed your newly obtained fanfiction. "And it's 20 chapters long too? LETS GOOOO BABY!!!" You thought in glee as your began reading. 'Not to forget that it's a smut too? I must've hit the jackpot.' Was your last thought, before you got lost into your story.

5 hours later, you awoke up to your room was covered in a slightly orange hue, the TV was still on but nothing was playing, the sun was beginning to set. You sighed as you stretched before you went limp on the bed. Your sleepy mind slowly going back to sleep, but the sound of a large banging noise shook you awake. You laid there, still... BANG! BANG! BANG! You heard. Your lungs became tight and your body ran cold from slight fear. You seen the light come on from under your door, the sound of your family waking up and coming to the front to investigate.

You laid there, listening for a while to your parents and siblings complain about the crazy noise. "WHO THE HELL IS BEATING ON MY FUCKING DOOR LIKE THAT!?" Your mom shouted in anger and irritation. You could hear everyone speaking about it before the banging started again. BANG! BANG! BANG! "THIS BETTER BE THE FUCKING POLICE!! OR ELES I'M CALLING THE DAMN POLICE!!" Your father shouted as the sound of the front door unlocking and opening sounded out. You listened intensely, but everything went quite, the the sound of screaming and gun shots sounded throughout the house. You sat up quickly, your chest raising quickly as your breathing became labored, fear coursed through your cold body.

'Holy shit.....what the fuck..... why......I gotta go.' You mind thought, as you quickly reached for your phone, you tuned it on, checking your percentage. '55%... shit.' you thought. You looked at your door, seeing that it was locked. The sound of glass crashing to the ground made you jump, heavy furniture moving, small furniture being thrown carelessly. Every new noise made you jump as you shakily got up from your bed. You put on your sweat pants, before you shakily pulled on your hoodie, stuffing your phone and charger into your pockets. You walked over to the window, sliding the curtains to the side.

You looked out, checking your surroundings before you unlocked the window and you slowly slid it open. 'Never thought this shit would actually happen.' You thought, as you stepped on your bed, your body was so cold, but your mind was on auto pilot. You jumped up on the window seal, pushing your body up until you sat on the window seal. The sound of the robbers roaming about your home grew louder as they drew nearer to your room. You looked back at your room, one last time before you jumped out. You hissed in slight pain as you landed on the uneven dirt, but you forced yourself to move quickly. You reached back up to your window, sliding it back closed to the best of your ability, but you gave up half way when the sound of your doorknob began jiggling.

"Fuck it." You said as you made a mad dash for it. Your bare feet slapping on the ground as you ran down the street, you breath labored and your legs burned your lungs ached but you refused to stop until you made it to the park. 'If I make it to the park, I can blend in, and match the people.' You thought. Honestly, you probably could've just acted like a young woman walking past the house, but your adrenaline was pumping, your fear was guiding you.

You huffed and puffed, as you staggered over to the park bench, you plopped down on it, as you focused on your breathing. "Holy shit." You breathed out, you sat there a while longer before you began to chuckle to yourself, your laughter growing in volume as the people around you stared at you like you were crazy, but you didn't care. "I survived... I survived... I actually made it out... the one person in the family, who never been in any form of real life situation as extreme as that. The sheltered child of the family, the one who was 'lazy' and 'cuddled'.... actually survived.....all by myself... I'm actually alone now... no more annoying siblings... no more toxic parents... no more anything....everyone is dead... they're all gone... I'm the only one left... I'm the only one.... left." You said, your chuckling died down, as you were left sitting there, numb.

No emotions could explain how you felt, no words could describe how lost you felt, nothing mattered anymore, as you sat there, lost in the daze, as shock over came you. The people in the park, non the wiser of what you just experienced, of what you just went through. You felt small, you felt alone, as you sat there in the park, on the bench. You sat there for a long time, the crowd of people slowly getting smaller and smaller, as the area grew quiet, dark and empty... just like your home... You sat there for hours, you should've called the cops, you should've asked for help, but the adrenaline wore off, and the crushing weight of reality kicked in... making your mind go blank and empty.

Someone walked past you, their walking was confident, and strong, no worries, no insecurities, you looked up, your dull eyes seeing the familiar black and red jacket, the Tan skin and the shaggy hair. 'It's the man from before.' You thought, as you watched him walk past you, not giving you a second glance as he went on about his business, you stared at him for a moment. His back was straight, sharp, and strong. He didn't have any issues, he didn't have any weight, he was his own man. You stared at him, suddenly moved by his own confidence, as you reached into your pocket, and you pulled out your phone, unlocking it as you went and dialed 911.

"This is the local police department, what seems to be your emergency?" Asked the male operator... You sat there for a moment longer, watching the man walk into the dark, towards what seems to be a larger silhouette. "Hello, I'd like to report a murder robbery, sir." You spoke calmly. "Okay, and can you tell us where this took place at, ma'am?" He asked, not sounding as relaxed as he was at first. You gave them the address of your home as well as much information about the situation as you could. "6 family members. 2 sons, 2 daughters, a mother and father, all dead." You said. The operator was quiet for a moment before he spoke once more.

"How many robbers are in area?" He asked. "Not sure, but I'd say 4 to be safe." You said. He went quiet once more before he asked one last question. "Do you have any relations to this family?" He asked. You answered, without hesitation. "No, I never knew them, I just seen what happened, and I'm reporting it." You said, your eyes never leaving the two men's silhouettes as they seemed to be in an heated argument. The man spoke once more. "Your name, Miss, for records, and where is your current location?" He asked, a edge to his voice. You remained silent, as you hung up the phone.

You turned it on airplane mode, before you pocketed it. You stood up, pulling the hood over your head, making a move to follow the two men. You didn't know what made you want to follow. By right you shouldn't care, by right you should be grieving, you should be waiting for the cops to come find you, you should be a mess by now, you shouldn't be like this.... so numb.... So empathetic. But you were, and for some reason, you couldn't find it in you to be sad. In fact, you were starting to feel glee, happiness, joyous even.

"I'm free." You said, your feet feeling light, your shoulders not so heavy, your mind free. "I'm free to do whatever now... no more hiding behind my parents, who were oh so strict with my safety, keeping me chained home with their manipulative head games... no more getting told how much of a fuck up I am, just because I make one little mistake... no more... I'm free." You spoke, a smile stretching on your face, as you followed the men around the corner leading to the city. The sound of police sirens filled your ears, and you looked back, seeing swarms of cops getting out, as they searched the area for you.

You stared at them all for a second, before you waved them goodbye, as you walked around the corner. "I'm gonna need a job, I need a place to live, I need to make it out here... as a new person." You said as you followed the men for so long before you stopped, you watched as they dipped into an alleyway, before they were followed by a wry old man with a briefcase.... 'Hmm.'

#kengan ashura #kengan omega #kengan ashura omega #kengan ashura ohma tokita #kengan omega ohma tokita #kengan ashura fanfiction #kengan omega fanfiction #kengan ashura x reader #ohma tokita x y/n #ohma tokita x reader #ohma tokita #tokita ohma #kengan ashura x y/n #kengan ashura ohma

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elysianhades · 1 year

Text

Rage Inside

This is the first ever fanfiction I wrote and once again, I had no idea how tumblr worked so now that I actually have a better idea of what I am doing, I decided to repost it here since I'm making a masterlist! This may come as a surprise but Lucifer isn't my first favorite brother despite me writing about him more than the others ha.

Lucifer x Reader

Hurt/ comfort

!Content Warning!

Self hating thoughts, depressive thoughts, past mention of s/h,

Reader is having a break down in this one and is really self induglent for myself, but if this has the chance to comfort others I'm glad!

‘Being bored and being empty is not the same thing’ They hiss, their knuckles digging into their forehead. The overwhelming ache and dullness of their own body screaming. Their mom’s voice echoing over in their mind, taunting and sneering. They need the numbness to stop. Sitting on their desk are the books that they need to read, something that in any other time, they would love to start. The yarn bucket tucked neatly on the shelf, their computer was resting on their desk. So many things that they could do, their mind supplied but, nothing that they could do at the moment. Through the nothingness they felt the start of their anger come back. Something that they could never escape for long, but something that they never did anything with.

Their anger has been with them for years, starting in their young pre-teen years and slowly building and getting more potent as they grew up. Showing an emotion that wasn’t a positive one was not acceptable in their house growing up. Whenever they would go get comfort from their mom after a mentally bad day, they were always met with the same thing. Shame and guilt. ‘If they were unhappy then their parents failed at raising them, right?’ After so many attempts at trying to go to people for help, only for them to compare and remind them how insignificant their problems were, they stopped trying to show that they were having a hard time. Years of swallowed anger and silent resentment followed them into their adult years. Slowly as time went on, that anger has turned and would attack and belittle them.

At that thought, they choke up a sob as they feel their anger start festering in their heart and fingers. Although their eyes were closed, they felt angry tears trail down their face. Years of practice has made them almost a master at not showing people what was wrong with them. ‘Numbness isn’t boredom’ they sob. Anger they are used to handling, they know how to use that as a ground but they also know that after the fresh anger gets used, the numbness comes back and swallows them whole. Their self-control is what they pride themselves on. The ability to work through the problems people throw on them is what makes this pain worth it.

The spite and pettiness that seeps through their core is what they use to keep going. The tall and reinforced walls that they spent years, tears and sweat on building, have one weakness. The one thing that has always been able to get under their skin, their parents. No matter how hard they worked with their brain, no matter how they tried to build up thicker walls for those three in particular, a few words from any one of them will shut them down. While they are down, that’s when their anger takes hold and drowns them. Curling into a tighter ball, they lay down and shake in their emotions, trying and failing to pull themselves back together.

When they woke up that morning, they knew it would be one of those days. The sleep they awoke from was restless, making them feel more exhausted than before they went to bed the previous night. They were always an early riser, more because of them being a light sleeper and needing to wake up and hide at a moment's notice. Something else that they have carried from their childhood. They should have stayed in bed, their muscles ached that morning and a migraine had settled in the front of their head pounding with their heart.

All at once, all the should and shouldn’t haves pours into their mind. Each thought making the heat in their chest and fingertips flare and spark. They shouldn’t have picked up the phone, they shouldn’t have brought their human world phone, they should have left those contacts blocked, they should have known better than to expect anything else than a therapy session with their parents, they should have…. They should have-

A knock on their door is what breaks that spiral. They whip their head up and over at the door. They can see two small shadows underneath the door from their spot on the floor, someone’s feet. The cold feeling of panic is enough to yank the emotions back into themselves enough to get up on shaky and weak legs to answer the door. They took too long to answer, as the person knocked again just as soft. Feeling their hand shake as they reach out to turn the handle, they take a deep breath.

The door opens to Lucifer, whose hand was up in the air like he was about to knock again. The air around him was the same as it always was, put together and self assured. Not a stray hair was out of place and not a wrinkle was seen on his clothes. Really the only ‘imperfection’ was the bags under his eyes, evidence of all the late nights he would stay up doing work. Seeing him here and seeing him now makes your stomach twist in fear. Since there was a knock, you knew that being on the other side wouldn’t be Mammon, Asmo, or Beel but, you hoped that it wouldn’t be the one who you had the most problems keeping up your facade with.

“My dear, I couldn’t help but notice that you left the library quite briskly and you looked upset. Is there anything I can do to help?” His smooth and deep voice eased some of the angry scratching in the back of your mind. His crimson eyes slowly look between yours, trying to find a clue to how he can help.

Being around Lucifer was a blessing and a curse. His pride is something you could relate to in a sense, having to do things on your own, having people depend on you and looking up to you giving you no chance to show how weak or how tired you were. You both found ways around both of your pride to help and be around each other, that is what started your relationship. The trade off however, is that he knows when something knocks you off your feet. You knew you couldn’t hide this from an eldritch being who has been alive longer than you can even comprehend. That made you happy in a sense but, it also stung and stabbed at your own pride.

In the beginning, it was laughable how much you two didn’t get along. Both of you tried to assert dominance over the other. You didn’t care that he could probably kill you by looking at you if he wanted, you refused to roll over and he refused to let up. As suddenly as this tiny ‘rivalry’ started though, it ended and if it was brought up again, both would shrug and go on.

“Yeah, but it’s over now.” You say quietly, not trusting your voice to be much louder and trying to swallow the rage that started gnawing on your bones. The resentment towards yourself was flowing through your blood, locking up your limbs and making your eyes burn as more tears started to build. The already poor handle you had on your emotions was cracking and just the thought of losing composure made a dagger of rage stab your heart.

As if sensing the feelings going through you, Lucifer slowly puts his hand on your chin, making you meet his gaze. That soft action made you break, the tears rolling down your face uncontrollably. You scoff at yourself irritation at the action, not being able to stem the flow and bringing your hand up to scrub at your eye, making the male in front of you frown.

“Can I come in, dearheart?” He asks softly, holding your hand so you wouldn’t scratch your eye accidentally. You sob, nodding your head. When you move to pull him into your dark room, your knees give out. His firm grip on your hand is what saves you from falling and hurting yourself. Picking you up, Lucifer gently closes the door and navigates the room to your bed.

“I’m sor-sorry.” You sob, grabbing his shirt tightly as you try to swallow the hatred rising up. Lucifer resists the urge to interrupt, combing his still gloved hands through your hair after he gets situated on the bed. He remembers late night conversations about how to best interact and show care when anything could set you off and make you isolate in spite. He hums softly, so you could feel the vibrations from your place cuddled into his chest.

“I.. I know that answering tha-that call would set, set-set me off.” You try to say, the lump in your throat making the words get stuck. “Make it-it-it stop plea-please I don’t want to feel this.” You can feel yourself get pulled into the storm of your emotions. Trying to breathe through it is awakening the loathing in you and your brain starts spitting insults, trying to get you to shut Lucifer out, telling you that after seeing this, he is going to see how weak you are. He is going to leave, he is going to leave, he is going to leave.

“Love. I need you to breathe. That’s it. Keep going, remember the box.” Lucifer hums, rubbing the base of your neck. You nod shakily drawing a box on Lucifer's chest. Up, breathe in, side, breathe out, down, breathe in, side, breathe out.

The anger in your blood is rushing, bubbling, boiling. The audacity to make him worry. When he already has so much to deal with here you come, throwing your problems onto him in an attempt to make yourself feel better. You always have to be the center of attention don’t you? You’re so selfish.

You shudder a sob as your thoughts get louder. The fire of rage burning through your skin. You feel like you are bursting at the seams, the anger oozing out of you and corrupting anything it touches. Which sends yet another wave of resentment through you. As far as the brothers know, you are this innocent sweet thing, not capable of hurting anything. If only they knew how wrong they were.

“Stop thinking things like that, you know it’s not true.” Lucifer says calmly, his voice carefully constructed to avoid offending you. You latch onto his voice willing your heart to slow the flood of poison through your veins. If taking deep breaths aren’t helping then the next best thing is to find somewhere else for that energy to go. Reaching for Lucifer’s hand, he puts his big hand in yours. You take off the glove slowly, giving him time to resist if he wanted to.

His hands are pale and nimble, his perfect manicured nails (courtesy of Asmo) are a deep red. You run your fingers along his hand, feeling the skin and using the texture to ground yourself. You smile softly when you make note of just how much larger his hand is compared to yours. It could very easily engulf yours. You intertwine your fingers with his and squeeze in a pattern.

“I know your anger isn’t gone, but is it quieter now?” His voice is soft, as he plays with your hair with his free hand. You nod again, taking a deep breath as you look up at him. Your eyes lock and he gives you a small smile free of the usual smugness.

“I got a call. From my parents.” You start, feeling his arm tighten around your shoulders and the smile freeze for a moment. “I don’t know why I even picked it up.”

Now that the anger is in the back of your head, you can feel the urge to slip away, to shut down and let someone else handle this. That isn’t who you are now though. He would make this worse in the long run anyway. You let out a deep breath through your nose, glaring at the floor. Lucifer is still rubbing your back in gentle circles. When you open your mouth to talk again you feel a lump in your throat, one that blocks any words from leaving. Growling at yourself, you hunch your shoulders. A wave of rage flows over you at your inability to get this off your chest.

As if sensing your problem, Lucifer starts humming a soft tune. Not saying anything but letting his presence be known while you wrestle with your emotions. He rocked you slowly as you held his hand and battled with yourself.

“‘You don’t have to have perfect sentences when you need to get things off your chest you know’” Lucifer smiles softly as he looks out the window. You remember saying that to him a long time ago. He wouldn’t tell you what he was thinking because he couldn’t find the right words or the right way to say them to make them sound distant enough that he didn’t have to offer up any more information than he could handle at the moment.

Chuckling softly, you look at him and playfully roll your eyes. He snorts and shakes his head, his chest shaking as he quietly laughs. You sigh for what felt like the millionth time. Starting to feel the corners of your conscious fade. Yawning softly you look back at Lucifer, he meets your gaze.

“I… I know I have to get this out of my head but, could we sleep and talk it through tomorrow after I’ve had a chance to really think about what I want to say?” You ask softly, feeling another yawn take over.

“Of course, my love.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me x reader #obey me imagines #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer morningstar #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff

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marierg · 3 months

Text

Of Light and Darkness: The Rising Darkness pt. 5

Rated: Mature (yeah check the warnings folks)

Pairing: Obi Wan Kenobi X Reader

WARNINGS!: DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD MENTAL PLACE! Death/ Dying, survivors guilt, depression, Suicidal thoughts/ ideations, PTS flare up, angst, talk of medical procedures and autonomy (previous denial alluded too), stress reactions, cursing, and Cannon typical violence. Uh yeah not light reading...

But also hurt/comfort, fluff, kissing, marriage proposals... so not all bad!

A/N: I take no credit for the movie dialogue that is all the work of the wonderful Mr. Lucas!!!! THIS IS A LOVING WORK OF FANFICTION!!! With that said I did take more than a few liberties but I tried to pull from the film/ books and meld it into a cohesive piece. Much love to all the prequels and the folks there in!

With all said I will take this opportunity to say that it will be a minute till the next part! I have to figure out how I want this to follow the series and frankly this part just wiped me out. Hope y'all enjoy!

Picture Credit: Deviant Art and pinterest;

Words: 9000ish... yeah it was worse before i edited. ENJOY!

“Droid get over here with that...”

“I need more bandages!”

“No you will not kriffing take my patient until I'm done with them! I don't care what your CO said, your CO can bite me!”

It was the chorus of an all to familiar ture that you awoke to, smelling blood and bacta and battlefield. Laying in a triage area surrounded by troopers and Jedi alike, cots or the red dirt floor shaking with the ever nearing hits of artillery. Every inch of your body aching as you swung your legs down, the ground began to spin. Yes, you knew this waltz well, but dear Force how you wished the dance would stop.

“Ma'am can we take this bed?”

Glancing up at the medic in his polished armor you observed the trooper on the litter. He bled from the socket where his eye should have been, long painful gashes in the wake of shrapnel. Making a give over motion you assisted the transfer, urging the injured man to lay back as the medic administered a sedative. Defaulting to work mode you began to assess the man. “The wound needs cleaning and fresh bandages then send him straight through to the surgeon.”

“We can't ma'am, surgery was hit. This is it till we can get the ships off the ground again.” The medic tilted his helmet at you in silent resignation.

“Dear merciful Force.” Pain, so much pain and death. “Whose in charge of this mess?”

The trooper points to the loudest of the beings working among the wounded. Braids covered in dust and mud, face weary but focused as she barked orders over the din. “You will return them to this triage and those troopers will receive care! I don't give a flying KARK you fucking droid, they've earned every opportunity we can give them!”

In all of her time as a rescue specialist, even after all the missions Tyra had never seen anything like this. It reminded her of the stories her grandfather told of the war on her home world. The small Jedi who assigned her the task had motioned with his staff and simply replied...

“For the Valkar search the field of battle, and the brave shall they return.”

Her squad had been at it for hours even after the small Jedi had returned with Kaboomie, Speedster and you. Tyra would have liked to see all three of you onto the nearest ship, but with the limited space available choices had been made. She saw to your care personally with some assistance from a Mirialan named Barris. Tyra would give the girl this, she was a good healer. Heck the kid had done her best with every critical case till she'd passed out from the effort and had to be laid down too.

Looking at the next set of incoming wounded Tyra prayed to every one of her Gods for strength. Not that they often listened to her cries.

“Glitch!” Making your way over you waived to the young woman. She was no longer that student you had taught, years in the field giving her a commanding edge. Then again she had always been more an adult than youngling, “Tyra!”

“Boss!”

The women embraced, relief marking both their faces. You were the first to pull back giving her a tired smile, “Report?”

“Same shit, different day. Thank the All Father I won't sing your tale tonight. Scared the hell out of us,” She tried to get you to sit but you waived the effort off. Figures that if the Boss is awake she's back to work. “We barely have transport up and going and even that's sketchy, never seen Deek so steamed. No tower, barely reliable comms, control of the ground is non existent. Top that off no surgery.”

“So I was told. Do we still have supplies?” At Glitch's nod you glanced around. There were two grounded troop transport ships that were heavily damaged near by. While those birds would never fly again they could still serve, “Do those still have power?”

“Yeah, why?”

You'd made do with far less before and these men needed a surgeon. “Get that equipment into the ships, we have work to do.”

Obi Wan had seen Anakin and the Senator to the transport off planet and then rejoined Master Koon at the forward operations. Masters Yoda and Windu were somewhere on the battlefield, but after the droids had barraged the operations center, communications broke down. Light turned to dusk before order was restored. Always in the back of his mind you were there, the image of your unconscious form on the bed as he had left. Were you awake now, had you been sent to a ship already?

“Sir, we've received multiple transmissions of men trapped in the catacombs below the foundry. What are your orders?”

Obi Wan looked to the Clone commander, CC-2224 as he had Identified himself, grim expression falling across his features. Those men would require special extrication, especially if there was structural damage. It would cost time and men that their dwindling forces may not be able to afford. On the other hand it would cost his soul not to at least try. These men had risked life and limb to save him and the other Jedi, honor dictated that he must endeavor to return their brothers to them. Glancing at the Commander's helmet Obi Wan gave a nod, “Gather a team and what equipment you can Commander, I will accompany you.”

“Sir, yes Sir.”

The man beneath the helmet closed his eyes in relief. His trainers had prepared Cody for many scenarios. Retrieval and rescue, negotiations, incursion drops, but never how to bury so many his brothers. Never how to deal with the guilt of sending them to their assured death. What they had taught them was to trust in their chain of command, so that is what Cody would do.

“Vessia raise that retractor... Yeah there! Ok, suction,” After a while the bodies began to blur together. Collapsed lungs, skull fractures, missing limbs... you didn't feel like a doctor, you felt like a butcher. “Alright there's the bleed. Clamp off, sew, then seal him up until we can get a transport.”

Most of what you were performing was considered stabilization procedures until the troopers could be seen on the hospital ship in orbit. As the only fully trained Doctor you had to hop from table to table when there was a question of need. It was a motley crew, former students some of whom you hadn't seen in years. Vessia who was in her intern year after Medical School was beside you, hands once uncertain now efficient and skilled. The Senators daughter had changed much, finding her purpose in healing. Maru, who was currently running the blood donation chair, had left the RRC active branch preferring to work on the admin side of things. Yet here he was alongside you all. You could feel his old terrors coming to the surface again, but he remained stalwartly working. The strongest of bonds were ever forged in the fire of combat, at least that's what Master Melri had often said.

Then there was the Padawan who had been left in your charge. Barris Offee didn't have the same training you'd had at that age, but she was a hard little worker and adapted quickly. She stood at the table to your back while Vessia handled procedures at the other. The normally peaceful Mirialan was now face to face with a healers worst nightmare and you felt horribly for her. Having to remind Barris again and again that she must refrain from any more Force healing and to focus on clinical work set a knot in your gut. It was a simple equation though, she could use her abilities to heal a few while injuring herself or help the many that would surely follow the first. The girl's frustration was ever palpable, but in the end had deferred to your command.

“Master L/n, I require your assistance.” Barris had never felt so helpless in her life. It was as if all the light of the Force had gone out, leaving only the cold of death that now surrounded this place. This man on her table was barely breathing, but surely... “What about him.”

Glancing down at the trooper you could see he was beyond even your ability to save. Multiple blaster shots including the one that had penetrated his helmet, it was a ghastly sight. And yet he struggled still for breath, his brothers looking at the two Jedi with hope in their eyes. You wished there was something you could do for this young trooper to save his life, but all you could offer was a peaceful passing. “I'm sorry Barris...”

“NO! You gotta try damn it! He's still alive!”

One of the mud stained commandos screamed, ripping off his helmet as others tried to console him. The crying man cursed, yelling how they couldn't let his brother die. Not his last batch mate. Storming right up, he barked in your face demanding you save his brother. It was in that moment that you saw Barris cry, silent sorrow rolling down her cheeks. Damn this day, Damn Dooku, but above all damn yourself for failing them all.

“I cannot save him. I would if it were possible, but I cant. I am so sorry.”

“Can't or won't!?” He screamed again, but in truth there was a part of Fi that knew. “Why... Why Why WHY!!!”

“I'm sorry... more than you know.” Turning to the young Padawan you pulled her close, whispering. “Barris. I must ask a difficult task of you.”

The girl wiped her eyes quickly, “Yes?”

Looking from her to the bed and then the other downed craft across the narrow dirt you sighed. As with so many things today it was the only comfort you could offer these poor men. “Take the stretcher and place this trooper in the curtained part of the recovery. Let them say good bye.”

Barris stood stock still, as though doused in ice. “What are you saying?”

“He won't last much longer Healer Offee. All we can do is ease one brother's pain and grant the other dignity in their death.” You could see the light slowly dwindling out of her eyes and hated yourself even more. Giving her a nod you turned to the newest patient on your table and started to glove up again. “Give them however long they need.”

Barris wanted nothing more than to run from this place, but that was not the Jedi way. They were keepers of the peace, guardians of the light even when they could not feel it's presence. Wiping away her tears she took hold of the litter and began to guide it. The Commando's brother took the other side, face scrunched in anger. Bringing a chair and a blanket, Barris covered the injured man as the other sat watch. “What's his name?”

“RC-...”

Barris shook her head, “No, I mean what do you call him?”

Fi hadn't expected the Jedi to ask that, it was a very personal and private thing. Most clones' names were known only to their batch mates or their training sergeant maybe. Looking into the young woman's dark eyes though he felt comforted that someone else would do such a kindness as to call them by their chosen name. To treat him and the others as men. “We called him Sen.”

“Hello Sen, I thought you might be cool. My name is Barris,” smoothing the blanket over the man she could already feel his breathing becoming staggered. Biting her lip she began to murmur, “Thank you Sen for saving us, for saving me.”

Fi watched the young woman as she tucked his brother in like a cadet, gently and with great care. She seemed as lost as any of them, hell nobody should be in this place. Taking his brother's hand, Fi gave it a squeeze, “It's what we were made for ma'am.”

“Barris.” She replied quietly.

Swallowing hard, he looked into her sad eyes. “Fi.”

Sunlight rose on the second day, not that Obi Wan could tell really. Deep in the dark of the catacombs he and the troopers searched. Hall by hall, digging into the places where transmissions had dissipated to faint cries and banging. They had come across some of the lost Jedi from the missing assault team as well as tracking down the missing clones. He recalled how you would feel agitated on many a mission needing the balm of action. It was the waiting that tortured him and the other men the worst now. Waiting for an attack, waiting to find even one being alive, waiting for this all to end.

“Sir! Up ahead,” Cody called as he desperately ripped into the rock. The slight glow from a HUD light breaking the darkness of the rockfall. “Hold on trooper, we're here!”

“Commander be careful,” Obi Wan spoke too late watching as more unstable rock started to avalanche onto the man. Racing over with the others everyone started to frantically dig both men out.

“Damn Stupid osik'ri... get himself killed!” Alpha 22, or Deuce, wanted to wring the commanders neck. But as they uncovered the officer, he thought better of it. Lifting the Commander's helmet, Deuce found Cody was struggling to breathe. The rock fall damaged the air intake, the bucket all but dead weight now. “Oiya! Take it easy Vod'ika... There ya go.”

“The...(cough) commando...”

Deuces nodded and continued digging as the medics took the injured Commander to the side. The Jedi, Kenobi, joined in. Digging until they uncovered the still lit helmet, slowly extracting the rest of the man. Shaking his head sadly Deuces thought the worst, until the Jedi gave a rough rub on a pressure point and the Commando drew a gasping breath. “Medic! Medic Up! Hey you keep karking breathing, don't you fucking die!”

“Easy he may have a head injury,” Obi Wan helped to ease the injured commando onto the stretcher. “Commander go with them to the aid...”

“But Sir, we need to...”

“CC-2224 you deaf or being insubordinate? Get your shebs to the evac, MOVE!” Deuces barked, “and get a new bucket while you're at it.”

Cody sheepishly tucked the damaged one under his arm, pausing as Kenobi tapped his shoulder, “Sir?”

“If you should see Master L/n at the aid station, please let her know where we are.” Obi Wan said it before he could decide against it. He wasn't even sure if you were still on the ground, but if you were he knew how worried you must be. “Thank you Commander.”

“Yes Sir.” Cody's curiosity was peaked, but gave a nod not wanting to inquire further. The Jedi had a funny look as he had spoken, but who was Cody to question it. He was a soldier, what did he understand past that?

“All father help us... hey get those new suture packs and IV fluids over here!” Tyra watched as the latest batch of wounded were off loaded. She hated that there was so little to be done, only start fluids and get them to the hospital ship for a dunk in a tank. Shaking her head Tyra lamented also seeing the young Jedi healer in a different form of pain as she tried to comfort the injured. Worst of all she hated seeing you half propped on a stool as you continued to do surgery along with her and Vessia, soldiering on because you refused to leave them in this mess alone when you should be up on that ship like the rest of the wounded.

This was madness at it's finest and Tyra could all too easily now empathize with her former mentor who had been so harsh in their lessons. Muttering to herself she readied to stitch up another incoming trooper, “Forgive me Bern, you were right... Hey Trooper what's your name?”

“Ma'am, CC-2224.” Cody saw the displeased look on the short female's face and offered over his name. “Is there a Jedi called L/n here, I have a message for them.”

“Yeah,” You hollered over the din, carefully pealing off the many layers of extra thick armor from the patient on your table. Turning to the medics you became brusk, “You need to strip them before they get here, I want trauma naked and injuries exposed! Pass it along.”

“I have a message,” Cody tried to stand but the pink haired medic who was cleaning the wound on his head shoved him back down.

“Tell her from here. Hold still or this will scar worse than it's already gonna,” Glitch smirked at her patient, giving him a wink. “Don't worry handsome, the ones who matter won't mind a bit.”

“Don't tease the poor man Glitch. What's the message?”

Cody had to peer at the Jedi from the corner of his vision, “Master Kenobi wanted you to know he was in the catacombs with our platoon. He wanted you to know...”

Your heart swelled and a brief smile crossed your face. You hadn't know for hours where Obi Wan had gotten too, if he was alright. It was a relief, one weight lifted from your shoulders. Closing your eyes in silent thanks you nodded to the man on Glitch's table. “Thank you Commander, I appreciate the update.”

Cody was a little perplexed at your reaction, until he heard the medic stitching his temple chuckle. Raising an eyebrow, the young woman she smiled at him.

“You just made her day, you know that.” Tyra smirked, lowering her voice so only the man could hear. “Boss won't always say much, but it's a great kindness you've done. And for that...”

The small woman bent down as she finished the last stitch, pressing her lips gently on his forehead. Cody froze as she kissed him, it was sweet and stars knew he hadn't imagined his first kiss to be like this.

“...you deserve a reward. Now you best go get another bucket cause this one is toast.” Glitch grinned at the blushing soldier on her gurney. As he began to walk towards supply she yelled to him, “Hey 2224?”

Cody turned back at the edge of the craft, “Ma'am?”

Tyra sauntered over to grip the top of his chest plate. The man was weary, looking perhaps a bit lost amongst the din. With a chuckle she pulled him down and gave him a real kiss. Nothing fancy, just a touch of sweetness on a bitter day. “You be safe out there soldier. And don't go messing up that sewing, huh.”

“Yes ma'am.” He smirked at the little thing as she swayed her hips back to the surgery. He wasn't sure if it was the kiss or the rush of being alive, but in that moment Cody felt he could take on the whole damn planet. Strutting towards supply the Commander felt ten feet tall.

“Glitch stop teasing the men and get back to work,” You couldn't help a slight smirk. Unprofessional as it was, you were pleased by the smile the man had as he left. In the present moment though the patient on your table had severe crush injuries and would need to be evacuated with the next load of wounded. Starting two intravenous lines you took in his injuries, both legs would need surgery and extensive rehabilitation. He was alive though and that was a miracle in and of itself. “Hey, what's your name?”

“A'den,” He tried to keep his eyes open.

You smiled down at him, “Well A'den we're going to get you well again. For now though I'm going to give you something for the pain, is that alright with you?”

He had never been asked before, never given the option. It confused him that this medic wasn't simply doing what was necessary, instead giving him the choice. “Ma'am?”

“It's ok if you don't want too,” You could tell he was uncomfortable in more ways than one, so you tried a different approach. “How about a little something to take the edge off, it won't make you disoriented like a sedative.”

“Whatever you think's best ma'am.”

“Good, lean back. Now I'm gonna have you moved to the staging area and soon you'll be on the ship.” You could see the moment the medication started to work, the man's body relaxing ever so slightly. He was so covered in dust that you had to wipe it away to get a better look. Even careful as you were he was skittish, like a newborn colt. Finally satisfied with your exam and that he would remain stable, you had A'den transferred to staging. Over and over it was like that through the night.

At dawn you saw the Council and other remaining Jedi start to trickle back into the staging area. They, like the troopers, asking if you had seen someone. An apprentice, a master, a batch mate; it made no difference Jedi or clone, all were searching. The lists were posted by the recovery craft; Alive, wounded, missing and dead. You could tell the answer by the sounds or lack there of after people looked. But every so often you would hear something that eased the pain just a little, you heard the happy cries of a reunion. It was few and far between but it was something to hold to.

You were on one of the two final transports out, lifting off as the last troop transport did. It was like a bad case of deja vu, Deek in the cockpit with you, Barris, and Glitch in the back. You felt old, especially looking at the two younger responders.

“Hey kid, how you holding up?”

Barris looked to the girl called Glitch, dazed and uncertain. “I'm sorry?”

“She want's to know if you're doing alright,” You pipped in from across the cabin, “Are you?”

“A Jedi...”

“Barris,” reaching across to take her hand the girl paused. How long ago had it been that you sat on that side of the jump seat? Had you ever been that wide eyed or young? It seemed now that you had always been this tired and old. But you knew that once, long ago you had been just as this young one here needing guidance. “It's ok to say it. I wish I had the power to save everyone, but I can't... we never can. You gave it your best and that's all anyone can ask or do. It's alright to mourn the losses, not just celebrate the victories.”

Glitch pursed her lips before speaking, “You showed them kindness and compassion whether you could save them or not. Ain't a finer thing you can do than that. It's ok to be human little space wizard, hell makes you one of us.”

“Master L/n?” Barris' voice cracked as the last of her reserve evaporated. She was like a water pitcher that had run dry, nothing left to give and hollow feeling. “How... how do you let it go? The men we lost, the Jedi?”

“In some ways I don't. I remember what the experience taught me and train harder, so that their sacrifice meant something. I wish I could say that this is the last time, that you won't lose someone again, but I can't.” Shadows darkened your face as the ship made it's approach to the docking bay. Giving Barris a kind look, you graveled out the last words. “It's in learning to walk with those ghosts that defines how we move forward.”

Mace waited as the last of the ships arrived from the surface, sentinel till all returned. The battle had been arduous, the aftermath unbearable. So many good Jedi lost, the galaxy in turmoil, and all because of Dooku. He shouldn't have let his bias paint his view of the man because he had once been a colleague. Now the Separatists had a powerful ally and the future of the Republic rested on the shoulders of the Order. Mace knew, felt the shifting in the lines of fate that this was only the beginning of the journey. That the path ahead would be just as painful, bloody, and long.

“Master Windu, have you seen Barris?” Luminara came to stand beside the Council head.

Turning slightly he nodded greetings to his fellow Jedi, “I believe she is with Y/n.”

“Safe hands then.” Luminara sighed in relief, what she wouldn't give to reverse time and ordered her apprentice to stay on Couriscant. What was done was done though, now all of them would have to deal with this terrifying new world. “I suppose we are the lucky ones.”

Watching as the craft door opened he considered the statement. Were they the lucky ones or were the ones who had passed and spared what was to come more fortunate? Mace observed as you escorted the young Padawan. He didn't miss as Master Undulii's breath caught at the sight of her apprentice, wan and weary. At least this Master still had her apprentice, not many today could claim that. “Luck has nothing to do with it. We trained them well.”

Barris walked slowly towards her Master, you and Glitch on either side. You knew all too well that hollow look in her dark eyes. The girl was past done and needed a long rest, more so she needed to stay somewhere the hell away from any action. It had been a baptism of fire and in many ways it reminded you of what had happened to Maru. But unlike the Bothan there was nowhere for this Padawan to hide from the conflict, no transfer to admin. Master Undulii, normally so serene in appearance, now stood with slumped shoulders and only the veneer of calm. Glancing at the more senior Master you knew she understood that this mission had broken the girl.

“Barris,” She paused feeling a ripple in the girls signature, tear streaks marring her face. Embracing her Luminara held tight, like when she had been a frightened youngling. “There now, you are safe.”

“Get some rest, you did very well today. Couldn't have run that aid station without you Barris.” You handed an injector to Master Undulii, a sedative. She took it with a grim nod of thanks. Glitch gave an affectionate pat on your Master's shoulder and left to clean up at the slop sink. Master Windu looked as tired as you felt. “Master...”

Mace pulled you into a hug, “I'm so thankful that you've returned safely.”

The dam within you began to crack, the air rushing from your lungs with a great sigh. Regret, sorrow, guilt all swirling and engulfing you whole. You were unable to draw breath for what felt an eternity, tremors in you hands that indicated a larger storm brewing. Master Windu pulled back giving your shoulders a reassuring squeeze, ever patient and guiding. Over and over all you could say was, “I'm sorry.”

“This was not your fault Y/n. You and Obi Wan did well. Your Apprentice did his duty and all of you are alive.” He was proud of you all. The three of you had conquered near insurmountable odds to simply survive this slaughterhouse. Mace could only hope that same fortune would continue to carry you through this conflict to come. Yet under the surface he sensed damage, the fissures within your psyche emanating pain. “I do think you could do with some rest though.”

“Pffft.... Right.” Taking a few steadying breaths you stuffed your feelings away for later as you had often done. It did not serve to have a breakdown in front of the head of the council, even if they had been your Master. Wiping away any stray moisture you felt as the fatigue hit, scrubbing your hands across your face. “Kark I could use some Kaf.”

“I believe that the mess hall can assist you,” Mace chuckled and shaking his head, “And there is someone on C deck who would be glad to know you're back.”

Even exhausted you knew better than to let your guard down, “Is Anakin out of recovery already? He should still be...”

Half bemused Mace muttered, “I'm certain that the boy would appreciate seeing you as well.”

Master Windu gave yet another piercing look, you continued to act unaffected. Best not to contemplate the possibilities on days like this. “Has Anakin really been giving you that big a headache?”

“We both know I'm not referring to Skywalker.” While Mace had to admire your extreme level of discretion, he had long known of your relationship with Kenobi. Part of him had made peace with your involvement given the dedication both Jedi continued to show the order; never succumbing to the temptation of possession. You two had been thick as thieves since apprenticeship, even for as many times as he had attempted to separate you with missions and training. After so long Mace had simply come to trust that you would do the right thing. He did however tire over feigning ignorance. “Please make sure that he's actually resting, as should you.”

Schooling your face and giving a practiced calm expression, you bowed. “May the Force be with you Master.”

Dooku had been troubled throughout the flight to Coruscant. He was nearly bested by the Jedi and their unexpected rescue by the clones, but then again he had managed to escape and accomplish his mission. He had not counted on the new army as a factor in his plans this early, it would have been an easier war to manage if the Council had been obliterated. None the less many key pieces had still fallen nicely into place and it would take the Order time to recover their losses

As he saw the glimmer of the city planet his mind fell back to your words. “Qui Gon died defending the galaxy from the evil that you embraced! Had he lived he would stand against you now!”

He was not an evil man. Dooku did as he saw necessary to bring order, but he was not cruel. Yes it was necessary to cull the opposing forces to make a victory swift, but it was not a choice he made lightly. The Jedi's compassion is what limited their vision, far too entrenched in their ways to effect real change. Sometimes one must break the chins that bound one to the old and outdated system, the one which found the Jedi central too. Landing in the abandoned works the Count stood and prepared to disembark.

Sidious watched as his latest apprentice disembarked the ramp of his craft. While not entirely pleased with the fallen Jedi's efforts, he proved a useful tool. With practiced ease Sidious gestured warmly to the elder man, “Welcome home Lord Tyranus.”

“The Force is with us Master,” The Count bowed in greeting joining Sidious as they walked into the complex. “I bear good news, the war has begun.”

“Well done, your skills are no match for the Jedi.” Palpatine chuckled in this throat, “And what of the young upstarts, have they been adequately dealt with?”

“They survived the encounter,” Dooku grimaced as your words rang in his head again, “Next time I shall...”

Palpatine waived off the Count's words, “Spare me. Soon enough they will be eliminated and together we shall control the galaxy. For the people, for the future.”

And what future shall that be, forged in the crucible of war, the Count wondered? Dooku knew well to keep his doubts shielded though, the Sith was a cunning being and not to be trusted. But it was better to reign in Hell than to serve in heaven. “For a brighter tomorrow shall our labors travail.”

Anakin woke in a darkened room, warm and quiet. It took more than a few moments for the fog to clear his brain. Raising his right arm he felt the cold shock of metal and not his fingers. Fingers that flexed and moved but...

“Ani? Are you awake?”

Turning towards the soft voice Anakin couldn't speak for a moment, simply staring. There were no words yet to express both his joy and sorrow. Joy at seeing Padme waiting beside him, her sweet face curved by a genuine smile because he lived. And yet how uncomfortable she must be cramped in this small sparse space. Anakin never wanted to see her deprived of comfort, not for him.

“Are you in pain? I can get the nurse,” Padme watched as Anakin shook his head, still very distracted by the new metal limb. She took his left hand in her own, “It's just temporary till you get a better fitting, they said you were very lucky. Y/n and Obi Wan came to check on you, they were both so worried.”

“Not worried enough to stay.”

“That's not fair Anakin.” Padme gave him a hurt look, “They were both worried sick. The doctor even said Y/n was badgering him from the aid station every hour for an update. Obi Wan stayed here until Master Yoda made him go rest.”

Anakin flushed in embarrassment at rightly being chastised. “I should know my Masters better by now, it was stupid of me to doubt them.”

“You've been through so much,” taking a cool cloth, Padme dabbed it across his brow. Putting the cloth aside she laced her fingers with his again. “How do you feel.”

“Like I had my arm cut off.” Anakin snarked. Then he saw how her face fell and felt all the dumber for it. He felt foolish for a great many things. Shaking his head on a silent curse, Anakin's temper flared, “I couldn't stop Dooku...”

“No one could, it's not your fault.”

“I'm sorry Padme, I should have protected you better.” The image of her laying limp in the sand flashing through his mind again. Regret lacing his voice, Anakin reached up to cup Padme's bruised cheek. Even past his faults as a Jedi, would she want him now that he was this defeated broken thing. A fool of a man who couldn't even protect his woman properly. Would she still love him with all his faults? “I would have liked to have held you with both hands...”

Padme's voice cracked as she took the cool metal prosthetic and pressed it to her other cheek, “You still can.”

“You don't have to stay,” He whispered, not meeting her eyes. People made rash statements all the time under stress, he knew that. Anakin was trying to give Padme a gracious way out of this, trying to do the right thing even if it killed him. Because in the end he loved her and what could he offer her beyond that? “I'm sure that you probably have more important things...”

“How dare you say that,” Padme's face scrunched, hurt to her bones that he had even said it. Her Ani ought to know her better, “I'm not leaving you Anakin and there is nothing more important to me right now than you. So never say that to me again.”

“Forgive me?” A small smile curled one side of his mouth. His heart surged and Anakin began to gently pull Padme into the bed. He needed to feel her safe in his arms, needed to show her the affection that she so deserved. His brave angel deserved every star in the galaxy.

“The bed's too small.” Padme grumbled but acquiesced, exhaustion causing her to ignore better judgment. Laying in Anakins arms, being held so gently, she felt safer than she had in weeks. She wanted to stay a little upset with him, but it was so very hard when she could feel his care in every touch. Still her voice carried a hint of exasperation, “Honestly Anakin sometimes I wonder what you think of me.”

“That you're the most beautiful woman in the Galaxy. That you've stolen my heart,” He didn't dare press further just yet, stars but he wanted to as he gazed longingly at her lips. Anakin wanted to hold Padme close for the rest of time, to kiss her till there was no question how much he loved her. He would worship the ground that she walked on no matter where that ground was. As he floated the blankets up to cover them, Anakin caressed Padme's face. Tracing from her eyebrow, the apple of her cheek. “There now, don't want you to be uncomfortable.”

“Me? You're the one who,” Padme paused mid sentence face falling as she began to cry. She had almost gotten the two of them killed rushing in, it had been reckless. The litany of admonishments at her actions rolling through her mind, she was a Senator and should know better! Agony and frustration shook her whole body, but Anakin only held tighter.

“Shh, it's ok. You're safe angel.” Anakin could feel her turmoil, wishing he could make her forget the past few days and their terrors. And yet if not for the past few days he would not be holding her now. No he could not erase it, but he would ease it. Gazing at her he put the full weight of his heart into the words, “I love you Padme, so much.”

“Anakin,” She hiccuped between sobs, words getting caught. She wanted to tell him she loved him too, that she regretted her earlier lie. Gazing into his eyes Padme saw the light of his understanding. He knew without her saying a word. Still her tears would not cease; for him, for his mother, for the dead, for the galaxy. “I'm sorry... I'm so frightened Ani.”

“Don't be afraid.” Restraint finally breaking, Anakin kissed her. First her lips then every single tear from her face, laying one last soft press to Padme's forehead. If his angel needed him to be strong for the both of them, then that is what he would do. Raising his hand instinctively to brush at her cheek he paused a hairs breath away remembering the metal. Instead he lowered it to move up and down her back carefully, still too afraid that he would do harm.

Tucking Padme's head below his chin Anakin began humming a tune, one that he heard often at Maffa's bar. Carefully soothing his new hand on her back as his flesh one cradled her head, a few of the lyrics falling loose. As her breathing settled and she relaxed in his hold Anakin murmured, “I'll always protect you, love you... Will you marry me?”

Padme had been drifting to sleep in the safe harbor of his embrace, lulled into a sense of safety. And maybe she would have overthought the question had she not been so exhausted, but not now. Emotions too raw, everything happening so fast, and she wanted what he offered so easily. He hadn't changed since the day she had met him ten years ago, still a kind and giving heart. “Yes, I'll marry you Anakin.”

“Then sleep angel,” Anakin practically beamed with joy, “You've made me so happy Padme.”

He swore she would not cry again, whatever he had to do she would always smile. He would be better, faster, the best Jedi in the Order. And after he brought peace to the galaxy and the war was over he would leave to be with her. It was a simple plan, but it was a start. He promised himself and her that they'd make it to their tomorrow, because love wasn't something to fear.

At least that's what he'd been told.

“Another?”

“Keep it coming,” You muttered, passing the cup back to Glitch to pour you another beer. Bumming a puff on Deek's cigar you slowly let the smoke waft out around you. Numbing your mind was not a solution to the problem, but you didn't want to deal with it at present either.

Deek threw an arm around your shoulders, “That shit'll give you cancer kid.”

“and yet you survive old man.”

He gave your head a hard noogie. “Smartass!”

You had gone to check in on Anakin and found Padme watching over him. Truth be told the affectionate look on the young woman's face was more than enough to put you at ease. There was a happiness when the two were together, one that you prayed never left. And so you had slogged down to the C deck in search of your own happiness.

Obi Wan had been fast asleep, looking the rougher for wear. You had indulged, just a moment, sitting on the bed and stroking his hair. The soft auburn strands feathering against your skin was soothing and a smile had risen as your Obi had turned gently into the touch. Stars knew he had earned a rest and that you should get some yourself. Instead you had pressed a soft kiss to his head and tucked an extra blanket around him before heading to the mess hall, avoiding the nightmares that you knew were waiting.

Should have figured that the RIC's would sneak a keg on board, wouldn't be the first or last. So you sat at the table playing Sabac and decompressed as best you could. There were other Jedi in the cantina and you had managed to wave a few over to join the group, stars knew they needed a reprieve as much as the others here. They would drift by for a time, visit, and then leave to meditate. Master Undulii had also drifted by, mostly to express her thanks to you and Glitch. She did not wish to stay initially, but Glitch had handed the Jedi a Kaf and patted the seat between the two of you. The Mirilan had taken the unconventional beings in stride.

“These are all students of yours?”

Giving a nod you sipped at your beer, it was piss water cheap but the best you'd ever had. “Yes, most of this bunch went through the academy class with Anakin.”

“I see and these classes are open to anyone?” Luminara hadn't encouraged her apprentice to further her medical training past what was necessary in the Halls of Healing. Now she considered just how under prepared that had left the girl, how helpless she may have felt. Barris would not soon recover from this experience that was certain and perhaps time away in an academic setting would do her well.

You could see the wheels turning, needing just a little nudge, “I'd be happy to have you sit in on a class sometime.”

“Boss, why do I have a feeling that this lovely lady could probably teach the class?” Glitch snarked while simultaneously keeping an eye on the pack of troopers at the end of the room. She recognized 2224, no it was Cody he said, and couldn't help grinning when he'd blush after realizing that he got caught looking her way. But she also knew that involvement would be a bad idea so she was relegated to teasing him. Hearing your grumblings Glitch poked at you again, earning a smile from the other Jedi, “Probably run circles around you in the aid station too.”

“Ha ha Yalvaberg, though you're not wrong.” Slapping down your cards you folded your hand, glancing in your peripherals at Master Undulii. “Open offer for anyone at the Temple, Barris included.”

“Speaking of little bitty, where'd she get too?” Glitch took two more cards, watching the group of troopers head out of the hall. Just as well she thought.

Luminara was perplexed, “Little bitty?”

“Barris,” Glitch clarified, “Good things in small packages.”

Luminara quirked a brow until you explained that it was high praise indeed to have earned a nickname. Setting down her mug she smiled at the young people here. There was a closeness to this group, a bond made of grit and pain that gave them a strength. It touched her that Barris was now counted among them, “She is resting, I think I will go check on her though. You have my thanks again and I look forward to seeing you in the classroom.”

You watched as the more senior Master rose, graceful as ever, and floated from the room like a cloud on the wind. Finishing your own beverage you bid the others goodnight and left too, not before an extended hug from Deek though. There was much said in that hug, things that didn't need words but were bone deep and true. That you were both glad to be alive, that you were both relieved that the mission was done. That you both prayed it was the last close call.

Even as hard as you tried to quiet your mind, the racing thoughts wouldn't cease. The guilt and pain, all like a great mountain on you. Wandering the halls of the ship you found your way to the recovery wing. Most of the troopers you had worked on made it through secondary surgery, including A'den who gave you a waive leading you to stop and speak with him for a bit. It was a reward that little squeeze of his big hand, the smile he gave. None of that was why you did it, but kark it felt nice. There was an officer who was also checking on the men, his commanding presence standing out from the others. There was no conversation between you, simply a nod of greeting and both going about your way.

Further down the line were the injured Jedi. And while they were indeed alive, many were far from well. Several apprentices trembled in their beds or looked on blankly. The few Masters whom were present to shepard them weren't in much better shape. The Masters whose eyes reflected the gutting of loss everyone here felt. They would all require a great deal of psychological help after an event like this, needed experts in that field and not simply the healers at the Temple. It would be a discussion with the Council, but for another day. Turning to leave you came face to chest with an old acquaintance. “I'm so sorry, I didn't see...”

“L/n,” The voice growled low.

Your stomach dropped. There was Master Adeva, Togorian glare ever fixed. This was neither the time nor the place for a disagreement, “I was just leaving, good evening Master Adeva.”

Carefully trying move around him, you were far too tired to reign in your emotions, only making it a few steps when he began to growl.

“Is it all worth it?” Adeva grumbled the thought out loud. The older being saw how your posture slumped at his words, not thinking how you had interpreted the statement.

Deuce was speaking with a couple of recently promoted sergeants when he heard the trouble. His face turned stony watching the two Jedi. Who the hells did this beast think he was, speaking to the little medic like that? Your response to the feline though, it ripped him like a blaster bolt.

“No,” tears streamed as the hopeless answer left your lips. Glancing over your shoulder to him you whispered. “I should have died and saved you the effort.”

One of the injured troopers came alongside Deuce looking just as pissed, but the Alpha waited to see what the Togorian would do. Both Clones were unarmed, but stood ready to protect. This one had fought for his brothers lives, for that alone she had his respect. He whispered to the other clone, “Find the Jedi Kenobi, now!”

“You would say that, after all the trouble to save you?” Adeva turned his head studying the small woman. You did not seem yourself. Not sharp tongued or quick witted, almost like it pained you to even move.

“Yeah, well I didn't deserve it anyway. Said it yourself I'm weak, an embarrassment to my Master, an abomination. That I should have died long ago...” you rambled out. How you ached for rest, your ribs hollow with nothing left to give or fight with. A sardonic little hum escaped you, “Sorry to disappoint you and survive again when so many more deserving beings should have.”

The Togorian was stunned, though he should not be surprised. After all he had spoken the vile, hateful words that you now repeated, had encouraged his Padawan to do the same. His ears flattened as his voice filled with shame, “L/n...”

“I'll make it easy, save you the trouble for next time...” It was a choice everyday, to live or to give it up. Most days you could be strong, others you needed to bolster your strength just to slog through. Not today though, today you just wanted the bliss of silent oblivion. If your brain were in a more sound state it would recognize that this was not right, but all you could feel was pain and death and failure. Holding up your saber you pressed it into his paw like hand with the end at your chest. Voice quivering you bore your gaze into his, “Go ahead.”

“What?” Tightening his grip on the hilt he saw you eyes close relief. It was such an antitheses to whom he had now come to understand you to be. It was wrong, this whole situation was wrong and Adeva found himself regretting having contributed to your longing for death. Slowly, carefully he placed your saber on the medical cart nearest. Your eyes were angry with him even as tears began to fall. “No, I will not do that.”

“It's like a damned cosmic joke...” Laughing in pain as your head fell in resignation. “I am a wraith that even death has turned it's back on.”

“Master L/n... you misunderstand me.” Dipping his head, Adeva tried to meet your eyes. He no longer wished to fight with you. No, that was the past and it was time to act as a Jedi should. “We caused you such pain for so long. We were wrong. I was wrong... about everything.”

You shook your head in confusion.

“You saved my Padawan, Hashi wouldn't have made it out of the arena had you not intervened.”

“I -” your words were cut short by a growl.

“You and Kenobi were captured, tortured, and still confronted Dooku.” Adeva saw you clench and fiddle with your hands. “And all I can reason is that you must think this mission, this galaxy, worthy to suffer so.”

“Someone has to protect it.” Your voice was small, barely a scratching of words. “I did my duty.”

“No, you did more.” It was in that moment that Adeva knew just how much pain his words had caused over the years, how much you had endured. How wrong and twisted he had been and for what? Pride and tradition meant little if one could not act honorably towards their fellow beings. Your eyes were dark as they gazed back at him, “I was so very wrong about you and though I can never deserve it... please forgive me.”

It was an odd feeling, whiplashed from one extreme to the other. A being who had tormented you so long, whom you in many ways considered an adversary, asking pardon for the wrong he had done. You wanted to stay angry, to yell and scream, to let every boiling emotion set loose; but to what end really? You might be short tempered, perhaps brash and overly passionate, but you were not cruel. To release such fury upon even this being... no you would never cause pain willingly.

There were also all the hopeless gazes looking to you from the beds, wondering if this was all there was to their future? How could the Jedi continue if they only fought among themselves, unable to forgive their brothers and sisters. Wondering eyes asking if this was how their order would fall from the light into the abyss of shadow. No, even if darkness filled the stars above, you refused to be the one to snuff out their hope for a better tomorrow. This would not be the day that you crumbled, this would not be the day you let the light perish from this place. As hard as it was, you chose in that moment to live and fight one day more.

“I forgive you.”

“This way Sir.”

“Oh wee one...” Obi Wan had been pulled from his bed by one of the troopers. All he had been told was that you were in trouble and it was all he needed to hear. The fact that he could only mildly feel your presence in the Force raised alarm bells.

“There Sir, look.”

Glancing ahead you rounded the corner with an escort of your own. Alpha 22 was flanking your side, a concerned look on his face. Obi Wan watched as you simply seemed to exist, as though a spirit trapped in the land of the living. There was no sign of your usual spark of liveliness and it sent a shiver down his back. The imposing trooper at your side simply guided you forward, firmly but with care. As the two men glanced at each other there was a silent understanding.

“Keep a close eye on this one, she's... in need of rest.” Deuce glanced down at the woman, deeply troubled by what he'd seen. He'd seen some of his Vod'e over the years who had cracked before graduation or from the treatment of their trainers. He well recognized that look in your eyes. Tilting his head Deuce softened his tone again, “You take care now Baar'ur'ika, want to see you at formation when we land.”

“I'll take her from here,” Obi Wan whispered as his arm came around your shoulders. It was a long walk back, every step of the journey made like you were shuffling through duracrete. He felt the raging torrent rippling from your signature even as your face remained placidly flat. Studying you carefully he knew there was something truly wrong. You hadn't changed, robes in need of incineration rather than cleaning. Worse yet you were silent, not uttering a word to him only holding his hand tightly like a lifeline. As he closed and locked the door Obi Wan gently cupped your face, “Wee one?”

Blinking at him you gazed wide eyed, but unseeing. Your mind was stuck on what had happened in the med bay, the terrible things you said. How could you have let that blackness out, how could you expose the others to your dark mind? When Obi Wan tried to grasp your arms you backed away shrinking into yourself, not wanting to hurt him too. You'd only contaminate him, you had to keep him safe. The thoughts raged again, the horrible images that Dooku had put in your mind rising like the tide. Was it torture or a vision, would they all die just like you had seen?

“Love?” Obi Wan watched as you started to shake and cry, hands flying to clutch your head. He fought to grab you then, bringing you with him to the floor as you screamed into his chest. Blood curdling agony escaping with every breath, eyes wild in fear. You fought his hold not seeing him, but instead some spectral horror. It took pushing his own calm upon your signature to placate the worst of it; he kept soothing your hair as he whispered through his own growing dread. “It's alright now, we're safe... we're all safe. Please Y/n come back, don't leave me now... please come back to me.”

You could feel the distant glimmer of his signature, that small flicker of light in the swirling dark, “Obi?”

“I'm here love. Tell me how to help, what did the devil do to you?” Kissing your forehead his face scrunched in concentration. You whole body shook frantically as your face blanched, but he was determined and pressed through the connection, “Y/n let me in.”

“No! You can't... not safe...” You were so frightened of hurting him, fighting with what little you had in you to push back.

“I'm not letting you suffer, not another minute. Now let me in.” Obi Wan lurched bodily as the first images came through, crying out in pain. Pushing further through the dark web, he grasped onto your signature more fully. You had both survived the arena and he wouldn't loose you now. It was as if Dooku had set a hurricane loose in your mind of all the dark fears you hid away even from him. Trying with all his might Obi Wan began to untangle the dark web in which you were caught, forcing more peaceful thoughts over the storm.

Things he knew calmed you, things that brought you joy. Images of forests and small animals you'd seen on missions, of nights at the diner, the memory of that first kiss under the stars. He felt as your body began to slacken in his hold, going limp as your cries softened to sniffles. Whispering against your head as he continued to soothe, “Stay with me in the light, don't leave. I'll do anything, but please stay darling.”

“I'm trying, it's so hard,” Your voice a whimper, “I'm so tired Obi.”

“Then let me take care of you, as you've done for me.” Obi Wan lifted your face from where it was buried in his chest, eyes bloodshot. They were still the most beautiful eyes he knew. “That's it darling, just hold tightly and all will be well.”

“P-promise?”

“I promise, just hold on.” Carefully Obi Wan carried you to the fresher. Hands steady and gentle as he cleaned the dirt away, holding you as your tears rinsed down the drain with the suds. He was loving in every way as he dried and helped you into fresh robes, laying with you on the bed. It hurt him to see you in such pain, what he would give to take it from you. “Any better sweetling?”

Curling into his body the errand tears still rolled down your cheek. “I'm sorry Obi...”

“Shh none of that wee woman, nothing to be sorry for at all.” You huffed and burrowed into his chest further on a little cry. Obi Wan sighed, slowly soothing a hand at your back. You always managed to find your way before, yet you lay so broken here in his arms. Perhaps all that was required was to remind you of whom you were, “You're so strong Y/n, knew from the first minute I saw you.”

Looking up through wet lashes you hummed curiously.

“It's true, really. You looked ready to fight anyone that would say a word about your Master at her service and then...” He hummed wistfully, “You glanced over and smiled at me.”

“I did?” You mumbled, trying to remember if what your Obi Boy said was true, honestly couldn't recall much of that day really. You hadn't even known Obi Wan then, but you do recall him and Qui Gon being present.

“Indeed you did. Only the strongest beings remain so kind even in the midst of such pain.” He'd only just returned to the order himself, feeling out of place and alone. Obi Wan had dutifully gone to the services, accompanying Master Qui Gon as he bid a friend farewell. Still he felt out of place, under scrutiny even in the midst of mourning. Obi Wan had glanced back at you, watching as he felt the ripples of your palpable sorrow and wondered how you stood so gracefully. Then you had glanced over during the funeral as though sensing his eyes lingering and smiled at him. You had seen him, another lost soul and smiled. He fell for you then and you had ever been a part of him. “Still the strongest person I know.”

“I'm not,” Your arms squeezed him tighter, voice choking on the words. “I wish that were true but... Obi I'm so tired of it. All the missions, all the rules, all the fighting and pain. I don't want to do it anymore...” Soft little sobs escaped despite your best efforts.

He knew, had for so very long. The Temple had always been a gilded cage and honestly even he had come to hate it at times. What would it be like to simply walk with you, unafraid of being seen or judged. What would it be like to have a home away from all of this, only you two? As much as it would pain him, Obi Wan was prepared to make that sacrifice, if that was what you needed of him. Then he felt your soft touch on his jaw and glanced down into your watery eyes.

“...But I'll stay for you... and Anakin. You're my family, I go where you go.” Kissing softly at the top of his chest you started to drift into the depths of your exhaustion. “I love you.”

“And I you, so very much.” His voice broke like waves upon the shore, “I promise you Y/n...”

Shaking your head on a hum you brought his face to meet with yours, lips gently embracing. Salty tears marred the tender joining, maybe that was the best the day could offer. Perhaps that was all there would be is stolen moments and little victories, but it was more than most. You weren't ambitious enough to think past now, living in this moment and nowhere else. No promises of anything but the next sweet kiss from your man. That was the only thing you trusted right now.

Obi Wan could feel just how tenuous your hold was, the way your signature flickered. Like embers in a banked fire, as easily rekindled as it was to be dashed out. So he pressed just a little more, deepening the kiss and tracing your features softly. Fingertips ghosting the line of your jaw till he could comb his fingers into your soft hair. There was more grays streaking through, not from age but from all that life had brought. Laugh lines and freckles that came with time, and not a one would he trade. The two of you had raised Anakin, survived so many missions and mishaps, earning every worry line and sign of age together. On a soft grin Obi Wan began to whisper, a secret just between you. “What would you do Y/n... if we did leave?”

“What?”

“If we left the Order, what would you want to do?” He stroked his thumb at your temple, humming his own contemplation. “I think I'd be a teacher.”

Watching the corners of his eyes crinkle made you believe, even for a minute, it might be possible. That after all of this you might be able to have what you wanted. It was a dangerous feeling, this hope, and not something that would happen until this matter with Dooku was settled. Your Master still needed your help, you couldn't abandon him or the rest of the Jedi now. But here, with your Obi Wan it was safe enough to dream. “I think... just a little clinic. Little younglings with colds and sore throats, school check ups...”

Obi Wan pursed his lips in thought, “We could have a massif.”

“You're more of a tooka person,” you mumbled.

Closing his eyes, Obi Wan murmured, “We could have more than pets... if you'd want.”

“Seems you've thought about this,”voice thick at the thought of what he described. You had secretly wondered the same from time to time, “A little boy maybe...”

“A little family somewhere quiet. Nowhere to go or missions to complete,” he chuckled, “We'd be bored to tears.”

“Boredom sounds good.” a bitter grin etched across your face, “But I have a feeling we won't be bored for quite some time my love.”

“No, I suspect you're right about that. I'm sorry we couldn't stop it Y/n...”

Pulling Obi Wan into another kiss you shook your head, “Not tonight... leave it till morning please?”

Obi Wan soothed you through the night terrors and held you tightly when his own came on. Yesterday the war began, but here in their bunk there was peace.

Even if only for tonight.

tags: @obislittleone @the-rain-on-kamino @a-rose-of-amber @aquaamethyst96 @stanny-uwu @nurseytypechick @just-dreaming-marvel @in-a-mellow-tone @acatalystrising @pickleprickle @iambored24601 @purplepandora666 @misscamptl @wannabakewithsomebody @obiknights @moostresskenobi @the-going-merry @ginger-swag-rapunzelre @iabrokengirl @lovelyxlily @annasun13 @foxperifoto @supernaturallover2002 @imherefordeanandbones

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cgsf · 2 years

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Men's Hockey (RPF) fanfiction recs:

Connor McDavid/Leon Draisaitl

"he's no jacob from the bible (but damn he made me pray)" 🔒 (M) by softnoirr | 8,567 | He fell in love with his best friend. He fell out of love with the thing they did together. He broke like a puppet crumbling under its strings.

"freight train running" 🔒 (E) by adeleblaircassiedanser | 1,607 | Right now he cares roughly zero about anything except Leon’s warm hands on him, the way he smells and tastes like he showered and used Listerine and shaved just to be waiting here, waiting for Connor. “Sit down,” Leon says. “I want to blow you. You look so fucking money.”

"The Great Escape" 🔒 (E) by marmolita | 6,809 | Sometimes you just need to drive across Canada with your girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend, your girlfriend's girlfriend's boyfriend, and a couple of dogs.

"circle the drain" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 3,431 | “Listen.” Connor leans right up to the mic. “If there’s any kind of—anybody, studying time travel out there, I’m stuck in a time loop, okay? I’m stuck and I don’t know what else to do, take me off to a lab or whatever but I’m so fucking sick of—” “What the fuck,” Leon says, too loud.

"in the spaces no one looks" 🔒 (M) by anonymous | 18,873 | When the lights come back on after the Pride Tape presentation and the boys start to stir, Connor looks at Ebs, sitting on the floor in front of him, and he says, without thinking, "Is this about me?" Everyone within earshot freezes.

"All In" 🔒 (E) by marmolita | 29,414 | The website is simple and straightforward. The header reads Black Forest BDSM and there's a tasteful banner showing a set of leather handcuffs laying on elegant sheets. There's a photo on the side of a solidly built man in leather pants and a tight fitting shirt, cropped so that his mouth is visible but the rest of his face isn't.

"tonight we're gonna drown the sound out" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 1,970 | Some days Leon still can't believe he gets to have this: Connor, his hair fluffed up from Leon's fingers, all his teeth showing, easy and relaxed in a way he isn't anywhere else.

"older, younger, both" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 1,875 | "You look really young this year." "I look the same," Connor says.

"living by the hour" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 1,233 | "Good birthday?" Leon hums, and starts opening up Connor's slacks.

"the weakness of wanting anything" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,323 | "I can't believe you didn't tell me you had an exit strategy," Leon says, and taps the lit button to keep the doors from closing. "I didn't," Connor says, and steps in. "I just got tired."

"this year" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 409 | Connor had been saying, this year this year this year for so long now, a prayer that had lost specificity a long time ago.

"green in your love" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,151 | How it could have, should have, and did.

"green as weeds" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,671 | Connor knows he shouldn't go, that even if Leon's been nice enough to him, gone out of his way include Connor in team stuff more enthusiastically than Connor was used to, it was still different than going to his house, going to a party, going to a party at his house.

"love me mercilessly" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 2,309 | It's not usually like this.

"the consensual reality of ordinary life" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 3,779 | Two years ago, the bland domesticity of a routine would've sent Leon into a spiral.

"show me how to be your boy" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 3,535 | "I'm good," Connor says, when the hot surge of it settles into an ache for more. "You're always good," Leon says, smirking against Connor's mouth.

"universal properties" 🔒 (NR) by stridents | 7,950 | The video has 400k views already. Or at least, this version on Twitter does, which seems to be a repost of an already-deleted account. The caption is just two eyes emojis, a shocked face, and Connor’s fucking Twitter handle.

"a brief, unauthorized guide to tending an exit wound" 🔒 (NR) by stridents | 10,121 | In the ten months between March 2021 and January 2022, Connor McDavid gets swept in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs, initiates a breakup, and is hit very hard on the head.

"legs and limbs" 🔒 (T) by stridents | 757 | “You’re unglaublich.” Connor says it soft and haltingly, because it’s new and unfamiliar and Leon’s. His mouth is refusing to cooperate, tongue sitting too close to his new teeth. “Very good.” Almost true. And besides – Leon loves him.

"The Sexual Adventures of McDavid (or How Connor Learns To Relax)" 🔒 (M) by carissima | 6,546 | Leon’s heart is racing as he steps into the shower and flicks the water on. It’s hot and the pressure is too high, his skin prickling as the water flows down his body. He ducks his head under the spray and tries to get his breathing under control. Connor just checked him out, he’s sure of it.

"(a kiss) to encourage" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 1,023 | “I don’t mind running,” Leon says, stepping off the machine and grabbing a bottle of water that he downs in one long drink. “You just need some motivation.” Connor groans and gets to his feet. “Nope. Nothing could motivate me to run.” Leon pats his shoulder. “We’ll think of something.”

"push and pull" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 5,415 | “Say you want it then,” Leon says, skating backwards and keeping his gaze locked on Connor. “Say you want the fucking trophy, Connor.” “I want the trophy,” Connor yells. It echoes weirdly in the empty space around them but he doesn’t care. “Are you happy now?” “Not yet but we’re getting there,” Leon says.

"dragging myself back home" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 4,021 | Connor doesn’t go to Cologne on a whim. He’s been thinking about it for a long time—since Leon announced his retirement from the NHL more than a year ago. Connor meant to go watch him play, told him so even, the handful of times they’d talked to each other. But the NHL season was what it was, and even when they were teammates Connor never followed Leon home for the offseason.

"four years, no calls" 🔒 (M) by blaahaj | 4,241 | Connor takes a swig of his beer and waits until Leon’s a safe distance away. This won’t be pleasant, but some things need to be said. “He’s not gonna fuck you, just so you know,” Connor tells Tyson, gently as he can.

"got the ceiling with the stars" 🔒 (E) by eversincewefellapart | 5,655 | “That’s so dope. You got a sugar daddy, huh?” Connor’s face goes hot extremely fast. “I — what? No?” Kailer finally looks up. “The rich older guy you’re dating drops thousands of dollars on gifts for you and takes you on vacations?” he says, and Connor hesitates before nodding. “Congratulations! You got a sugar daddy.”

"the most remarkable thing about you" 🔒 (T) by winglavender | 6,719 | "I was never going to get in the middle of what you and Connor have anyway. You know what I mean," Darnell waves a hand. "The dynamic duo, the two top scorers, the All Star legends, carrying the whole team on your very impressive shoulders. And that crush Connor had on you for years." Darnell shakes his head. "I just can't compete with that kind of bond." Leon is sitting down, but he feels like his skates just slipped out from under him. "What?"

"memory that beats like a drum" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 1,581 | "You lead, I'll follow." Leon says it like it's easy. "Yeah," Connor asks, his voice kind of reedy from yelling on the ice. "That simple?" This doesn't feel simple, suddenly. It feels huge and complicated and maybe almost scary if Connor wasn't too tired to feel anything resembling fear. He wants it anyway. "Anywhere."

"the years of love's past" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 2,169 | Connor sent a gift. It was what you did when you were an adult and an invitation was extended to you, even if it was one you wouldn't accept. Couldn't.

"Can't Change The World (But Maybe I'll Change Your Mind)" 🔒 (M) by puckinghell | 11,006 | Leon knows he should maybe try to contact Connor, but he doesn’t really know what to say. The thing is, if it was anyone else, he’d text. He’d tell them it’d be okay – even though he has no clue – and to get through it and that he’s there for them. He’d then expect to not hear from them again. But it’s Connor, and everything is different, with Connor.

"the perfect blend" 🔒 (T) by carissima | 5,714 | “This your first time here then?” Darnell asks, reaching below the counter to pull out a loyalty card that he dangles in front of Holy Fucking Hottie. “Ten visits gets you a free coffee.” “I guess it depends whether the coffee’s any good then,” Holy Fucking Hottie says, his gaze flickering over to where Connor is sliding the lid on his espresso.

"if we make it through december (we'll be fine)" 🔒 (M) by softnoirr | 15,610 | “Are you uh,” Connor takes a breath, “Are you doing anything for Christmas?” Leon pauses, his hands stilling on the laces of his skates, but he doesn’t look up. Connor’s starting to develop a paranoia that he’s going to forget what Leon’s eyes actually look like.

"tonight the sky's alive" 🔒 (E) by anonymous | 2,371 | Leon grabbing his hand while they were out shopping in the city had been a new thing. Weird but nice, which basically described all of Connor’s friends. He guessed that was a consequence of focusing on hockey for so long.

"kiss me with your mouth open" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 12,920 | "Why, are you offering?" Leon's still smiling, ready to make a joke of it again. Connor swallows. "What if I was?"

"take me back to places i feel loved in" 🔒 (T) by fishfoods | 1,637 | They'd had a conversation after that last doctor visit, a mess of words and comfort, hands held too tight. Connor could see it in Leon's eyes then. He wasn't going to ask. Connor should've known. He'd never, ever, ever ask. Someone else would've. Not Leon. Connor has one year left. One year. He's going to play, and then he's going to come back, and they'll figure things out from then.

"i know you're something else" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 4,274 | Connor’s never had a friend like Leon before.

"door number two" 🔒 (M) by blaahaj | 5,919 | “You this nice to all Hallsy’s hookups?” Leon asked. Connor shook his head. “You’re the only one I’ve met.” God, he really was new.

"came to win" 🔒 (M) by revanchist | 400 | Because he’s drunk, and because he’s not thinking with his head, and because it’s always harder at the scene of the crime to pretend the crime didn’t happen in the first place, he says, “Sometimes you’re so good I want to slap you.”

"be the one to set me free" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 31,327 | Connor tips his chin up and Leon's mouth is on his in the same breath, something slow and new and careful, exploratory, cautious, Connor's hunger for it simmering low and then roaring to life, hot and heavy in his belly. It's different than kissing Amanda, or Leslie, or any of the girls before or in-between, like it's touching something new. It feels like an itch being scratched that he didn't know was there at all.

"I'm not a sailor, I'm a captain" 🔒 (E) by LizzieMack | 1,940 | so connor mcdavid has a hot tub

"for control, grip" (E) by brinicles | 3,330 | Everything Leon does is foreign and fantastical. He comes back every fall and feels like something from another dimension all over again, something new, novel, a whole different hemisphere of frost boiled down into his blood, a frame that Connor can study endlessly: can watch and scrutinize and never really figure out, never get a handle on. This isn't that, though. This is just Leon being a little shit.

".500" (T) by brinicles | 4,647 | "Fuck," he mutters. "Hey," Connor says from the doorway. He stumbles again. "Fuck," he says again. (Mar 9 2020, EDM vs VGK: You can keep the game alive, but the season dies fast as the year goes on.)

"Better Than I Ever Even Knew" (E) by Lewsy | 13,185 | Connor gets it, has made his peace with the fact that most people find him painfully boring, but he’s managed to keep Leon around, so maybe it’s not that bad.

"and just for this moment (as long as you're mine)" 🔒 (E) by adoringsolitude | 5,815 | He digs his nails into his forearm in a desperate attempt to ground himself as he strains to catalog every sensation, knowing with absolute certainty that even if he manages to ask someone else for this someday, it won’t be as good as this.

"we’re only alive if we bruise" (M) by snowinthestars | 1,916 | Leon and Connor don’t really have personal space with each other.

"no dawn, no day" (T) by jalebibaby | 1,784 | Later, when his heart rate shoots up, and his lungs are on fire, trying to keep up with him pushing so hard to get back on the ice, he counts to twenty-nine.

"even when i lose i’m winning" (NR) by allthatsings | 1,109 | Connor helps an injured Leon get ready for bed during Round 3 of the 2022 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

"impulsivity" 🔒 (NR) by notthethequiettype | 791 | connor goes to germany

"the way things have a double life" 🔒 (M) by notthequiettype | 3,777 | connor decides to try playing it fast and loose. leon isn't handling it well.

"Two Minutes for Hooking" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 5,271 | It used to bother him, being looked at, picked apart, but he’s used to it now. Part of the job.

"what we've made" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 6,683 | "Come to the house." "Aren't you sick of me?" "Not as sick as I'll be of the quiet."

"miracle summer" 🔒 (T) by Helenish | 2,748 | “I thought,” Connor says once, tucked in next him, drowsy. “When I first saw you coming off the Ferry, I thought you were summer people.”

"cherry bomb" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 2,469 | "Cherries are a little on the nose." Connor hums again, the end tilted into a question. "Fruit," Leon says, and lets his fingers graze higher, the soft skin of Connor's inner thigh.

"sure as the sea" (E) by littlelocaldreamer | 3,698 | They don’t do this. But Connor looks so happy, so carefree like he never is, and before he can stop himself Leon asks the girl, “When are we leaving?”

"if i'm not what you hoped" 🔒 (E) by winglavender | 10,425 | "Heard the Leafs lost tonight." "Yeah." Mitch pulls an exaggerated face. "Leading the whole game and then Connor's guy ties it up with a disgusting pass, absolutely filthy, and then scored the overtime winner." "That's rough. You want another one?" The bartender tips her head at Connor's half-empty glass; he shakes his head. "Who's your guy?" "Draisaitl, obviously." Mitch taps the rainbow-patterned 29 on Connor's arm for emphasis. "He's not my guy," Connor says.

"orbit" 🔒 (E) by withfeathers | 2,000 | Leon was one draft spot away from being on the other side of the ice. Not that he thinks about it much.

"when you find out" 🔒 (E) by nymhciv | 10,779 | It takes Connor a moment, blinking, to realise what Yamo is showing him. He sends work out pictures in the team group chat sometimes, they all do, a check in system that had been well established when Connor joined the team. Connor thinks that’s what Yamo is showing him, at first, wonders if he’s about to get shit for his form. Then the Connor on screen moves, sinks further into his lunge, brings his heel up towards his ass. They don’t send video in the team chat, but the team chat isn’t the only place Connor shares his work out routines. And Connor does post video on OnlyFans.

"love casts a shadow" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 645 | Leon thinks, after seven years, he should be used to it.

"cover to cover and unbound" 🔒 (M) by lighthousetowers | 24,659 | “That’s not the ending, is it?” Connor asks. “Uh,” Leon finds the spot where he stopped reading, “yes, it pretty much is. Last sentence: ‘Not made for each other, they are making each other.’ The end, I guess.” It takes a couple beats for Connor to speak. “Is it? The end? They’re still there. They’re still making each other.”

"say it, say it again" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 4,157 | “Where are we going?” Connor asks, lips brushing against Leon’s ear as they hit a speed bump. “Don’t know,” Leon says, eyes on Connor’s mouth as he brings a water bottle to his lips, “Don’t care.”

"but close ain't close enough" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 6,363 | “How come I have to be the girl?” Leon asks. Connor’s too disorientated from the heat and the blood rushing south, liquid fire in his veins with Leon’s breath ghosting over his shoulder so he blurts out, “Cause you’re the pretty one.”

"keep the bullet" 🔒 (E) by cuprun | 19,132 | “It’s not about the sex part. Like, that’s fun and it helps, but it’s more about, like,” Lauren pauses, really thinking about it, “giving up control. Letting someone else be in charge. Letting them figure out what he needs and give it to him without him having to ask.” She raises one shoulder in a delicate shrug. “He could probably explain it better.” Leon doesn’t get flustered, as a general rule, but he might now, at the idea of having this conversation with Connor himself. “And he’d want to do that with me?” “He trusts you,” Lauren says simply.

"Choke" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 8,635 | “Maybe I don’t want my dick sucked,” Connor said reflexively, as Leon racked the barbell with a clatter, heaved a breath, a half laugh, and said, “Speak for yourself.”

"accessory to the rockstar" 🔒 (E) by unsay | 5,318 | It’s not a competition. Leon has seen nature documentaries, he knows about that; he and Lauren evolved to fill different ecological needs.

"the lightning on your breath" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 18,073 | Connor says his name, this low, soft, "Leo," that's going to haunt Leon for the rest of his life, a moment pinned, and he leans in and presses their mouths together, slow enough that he gets to watch Connor's eyes drop shut, his fluttering lashes, to know that Connor knows exactly what's happening, not moving or backing away, laughing or shoving at Leon, just kissing back, opening his mouth against Leon's, and it's better than what happened when they were young when Leon was too cowardly to learn the shape of Connor's mouth against his, better than most of what Leon's had since.

"just the touch of your hand" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 3,463 | Connor's limbs slacken under Leon’s grip, brain short-circuiting, all systems fried except for a white-hot buzz of yes.

"better put that business to bed" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 2,870 | “Get it, Leo,” Connor rasps and fuck. Fuck, his voice. It’s almost completely gone, a throaty rumble two octaves lower than usual and Leon’s dick goes from mildly interested to rock-hard in three seconds flat.

"two strangers in the red light" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 14,937 | Connor looks up, derailed only momentarily by how good-looking the guy is, slacks and a button-down open at the top like his pictures, and a nice wool coat. Connor clears his throat. "Is it better if I tell you I didn't request it, at least?" "And ruin the fantasy that I just found out that Connor McDavid's an absolute freak? No way."

"polite fiction" 🔒 (E) by blaahaj | 3,651 | If Connor thinks it’s worth asking about, he thinks he can make it good, and he’s probably right.

"the best thing that hasn't happened yet" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 36,209 | "It's Connor, right," Leon asks, as he approaches. "It is, yeah. Nice to meet you, Mr. Draisaitl."

"leech" 🔒 (E) by blaahaj | 2,220 | Connor had been holding his breath since May, since Vegas. He didn’t say anything. Let his chest hurt.

"one pitch" 🔒 (NR) by notthequiettype | 533 | Connor's always liked the sound of the crowd, but tonight it feels like being smothered.

"i'm gonna tell you right now, they're all i'm thinkin' about" 🔒 (E) by lagerlout | 7,012 | Connor understands it now, why Lauren takes her time to pick her little outfits, to make sure she looks her best and preens when he compliments her. He wants to be adored too.

"bones in the foundation" 🔒 (M) by cuprun | 8,623 | connor & leon show off their magic disappearing act. it would be great if they did it on purpose. sometimes the haunted house is just your own house.

"Home by Now" 🔒 (T) by ClaraxBarton | 2,769 | There are brats, and then there are brats. Leon had grown up safe and secure in the knowledge that he was good. It hadn’t really been a question - if Leon would be a sub or a dom or a switch or adynamic. Draisaitl boys were always subs, always had been - always, his grandmother had once smirked, would be. So. Leon was a sub, but Leon was good.

"lean on my mistakes" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 4,287 | “So why are you two normal?” Leon asked. Kailer rubbed his chin. “I can still feel it,” he said after a second. “It’s just that I’ve had a crush on you for like three years now so it’s not a big deal. You do look really good though, man,” and he patted Leon’s chest. “Thank you,” Leon said, and looked at Connor.

"to think I almost had it going" 🔒 (NR) by bluenorth | 1,109 | There’s a ringing in Connor’s ears. It’s a never-ending crescendo, it drowns out the red mass of people that gets more agitated as the final seconds of the game run out. It feels personal and what can anyone do when time and luck are not on your side? When nothing you do is ever enough? When the thing you want is within your grasp and someone takes it before you can?

"bend and break this fever dream" 🔒 (E) by notthequiettype | 7,019 | Connor McDavid Goes to Kink Class

"if i could make a wish" 🔒 (M) by lagerlout | 2,884 | “People can see us.” “It’s just the team,” Leon mumbles, lips brushing against his shoulder, “Any of them would want to take care of their captain.”

••••••

"did all of this sober" 🔒 (T) by blaahaj | 2,344 | “Yeah, I mean.” Connor’s hands are on his hips. He’s wearing the gross underarmor Leon always tried to get him to throw away, with padding over the collarbone. “Leo is…you know, we work very closely together off the ice. Worked. What happened is behind me and I just want to move on with the season.” Nobody has the balls to ask Connor about the other rumors going around. Leon figured they wouldn’t.

"Scoring Effects" 🔒 (E) by Helenish | 30,196 | One constant of NHL hockey is that teams that are losing, on average, dominate play. They have the puck more, they take more shots, they take more risks, they score more goals. These effects are broadly called "score effects.”

Ongoing list that will be updated.

#fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fic recs #leon draisaitl x connor mcdavid #mcdrai #mens hockey rpf #mens hockey #2997

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