#I'm a professional hater okay

[detectivebambam]

such a difficult decision to make

[musical-chick-13]

Like, not to harp on this, but just because you don't see the "value" in a piece of art or don't think it's "technically beautiful enough" to be acclaimed or don't want to interact with it because the function it's serving isn't something you're interested in doesn't mean that it just. Doesn't deserve to exist.

[vulpinesaint]

i don't believe in boyfriends. like as an institution

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

important aspect of haterism is remembering a hater does not care about you

[p1utofairy]

PAC🎱

“don't change i like the way you make me feel. can we take our time and do this for awhile?”

• what will their first impression be of you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. it's been a minute y'all <3 i've been a bit busy but here's something new to show my appreciation for the constant love and support. ILY!

PILE ONE.

hello, pile 1. i don't know why i have the urge to start your reading off so professional but i feel like your energy reads “come correct or don’t come at all.” OOO okay i respect it! i’m already picking up that your person may feel like you’re out of their league…or their friends might tease them and say that you are. ballin’ by partynextdoor is playing, “i’m out of your league, baby. baby 'cause i’m ballin' for a minute.” i can see your person watching you from a distance, you’re surrounded by your friends laughing and talking, and their friend comes up next to them and says “[Y/N] is totally out of your league!” this may not even be a friend of theirs lol this could totally just be a hater being annoying but people definitely deem you as the perfect catch. your beauty is otherworldly i’m hearing, people constantly steal glances and are in complete awe of your beauty/the way you carry yourself. majority of you that chose this pile are deeply in tune with your feminine side and you like the finer things in life. “diamonds are a girl’s best friend!” is what i’m hearing — also 7 rings by ariana grande/my favorite things from the sound of the music. yeah y’all are it girls for sure! i think they’ll be a bit intimidated and nervous to approach you at first pile 1…they'll definitely be in their head a lot. their thoughts will be so all over the place like “WHAT IF [Y/N] doesn't like me?! or WHAT IF [Y/N] doesn't give me a chance!?" lol but once they finally do muster up the courage to approach you?! it's a wrap! i think that you'll like the way that they try to woo you, it'll be different from the way other people try to get your attention. however, i think that it will take them a while to actually make a move because they fear rejection. once they get out of their own head and take the leap, they'll realize that there was no need to stress in the first place because they peaked your interest all along. they definitely see you as high-value and very classy pile 1. they'll treat you with the utmost respect and go the extra mile to court you the way that you deserve to be. they will not take you for granted. not only do they think that you’re absolutely stunning, but they also admire how you have the brains and wit to match. i also think that visually you two will look very good together, it’s giving power couple vibes. when you pop out with them heads definitely will turn cause i think y’all both match each other’s fly very well — ugh yes!

other channeled messages:

could be younger than you, mama’s boy, dream girl, g.o.a.t by eric bellinger ft. aroc, lil boo thang by paul russell, air sign venus, you make me feel so young by frank sinatra

PILE TWO.

hi pile 222! i'm ngl i keep hearing that tiktok sound of that flo milli song that goes "he speedin’ the wraith while his hand on my coochie, he touchin’ emilio pucci." LOLOLOL maybe y'all like that song or you keep seeing tiktok edits with it playing? idk that was random but i feel like it's also your vibe? you have this sultry/seductress vibe but you have such a cute face i'm hearing, i think people may not expect this from you. i’m picking up that some people project onto you a lot and have this expectation/idea of how you should be/should act which is weird…people may have started rumors about you or said you had sex with someone that you didn't. ugh you definitely have undercover haters and i'm also picking up that some of you get sexualized a lot :( you feel misunderstood a lot of the time and people don't realize that there's more to you than what meets the surface. i think that your person may hear of the rumors but won't pay them much mind…they want to get to know you for themselves. they'll think that you're very ambitious, kind-hearted and smart! you have big dreams and they admire how motivated you are to achieve them — it's inspiring to them! you have a zest for life and you know how to turn a negative into a positive, so despite what anyone has to say about you…you'll always succeed and have the last laugh. ngl this turns your person on??!?!?! OMFG I'M CRYING. your person is also very dedicated and passionate so the fact that you match their energy will have them feeling some type of wayyyyy like they want you bad pile 2. they definitely see you as the ultimate trophy like they want nobody else but you, this isn't in a superficial way either…they just love how you never fold under pressure. they love that you can hold your own and you don't need anyone to validate you, including them. they never met someone like you before pile 2, they feel like you're a rare find. like you by bow wow ft. ciara is coming to mind. YEAHHH IT'S VERY MUCH THAT.

other channeled messages:

nyc, baby it's cold outside, agora hills by doja cat, smoking weed, retail job, scorpio, fire signs (esp leo & sag), milkshake by kelis

PILE THREE.

hey pile 3! right away i’m already feeling that your person will think that you're hard to catch or too hot to handle…something along those lines. they'll feel like you’re hard to obtain, you might be very private/incognito so they don't know how to reach you. incognito in the sense that you don't post a lot on social media or you don't go out to parties/clubs much, you’re like a mystery. you value your privacy and personal space a lot (and there's nothing wrong with that) but just know this might make it a bit difficult for your person to approach you. i think that you have very high standards and you will not settle for less or compromise any of your personal needs/desires for a situation you know is not worth your time. i don't know…i feel like you might curve this person initially — you may not feel like you're in the right headspace or are in the right capacity to handle a relationship with this person at the time that they reach out or approach you. for some that chose this pile, this could be an old-flame trying to spin the block again but i don't think you'll be very receptive to the idea of giving them another chance. this person is willing to wait and give you the space that you need until you figure out if you want something more with them or not. i think you're more so focused on healing your inner child and pouring love back into yourself pile 3 which is absolutely beautiful, keep going! it's all going to work out in your favor in the long run. a similar dynamic that i pick up between you and this person is elizabeth bennett and mr. darcy from ‘pride and prejudice’ for those of you that watched the movie, you know how it took a good amount of time before they finally got together — but that slow burn/build up between them was sooooo worth it. i think that once you feel ready, this relationship will bloom into something so beautiful, passionate and intricate — something only you two will ever understand but ultimately it's up to you pile 3!

other channeled messages:

u with me? by drake, yearning for your love, long distance, passive aggressive, i made some mistakes, back and forth text messages, mind games

[the-girl-lost-in-fandoms]

DEBUNK OF TIT FORSHADOWING

hello! i promised a recap and debrief of all the times dip and pip teased what happens in the terrible influence show, so here it goes, brace yourself 'cause it's gonna be a long one

GENERAL REMARKS

so i started with the videos posted during the summer, since they were rehearsing the show during that time. i might go further back if this post does well (they said they've been writing for six/seven months and they were already teasing during dan's birthday stream). anyway, there were some recurring hints that i'm gonna get out of the way now:

a LOT of emphasis on the fact that it's been nearly 15 years of dan and phil (cough cough, reminds me of phil's infamous inconsistant line about their anniversary coming up in octodecember, cough cough)

a lot of ancient lore being introduced by 'the year was 2009/2011/2015', which is generally reminiscent of the recap at the beginning of the show, and most are the actual years featured in that segment of the show

they acknowledged 'we are ph-', which they also use in the show i.e. the phouse, the phortgage, the pheal, the phitchen, etc.

they are SO aware of the moms/dads/straight boyfriends that we have forced dan and phil onto, they kept asking us to bring them and they acknowledge them several time in the show

DNP GOING AWAY Q&A (1st Sep.)

strong emphasis on the haitus (reminiscent of phil's dramatic haitus microphone moments)

say they might adress the japhan wedding conspiracy (which they do!)

the nude colored briefs (are for sister daniel)

at 2:45, phil says 'gay' and the rainbow light and sound effect happen just like in the show

dan mentions red flags (might be far fetched but reminded me of the green flags/red flags of lawyer!dan and doctor!phil)

phil says cunt (like in the show)

'no but seriously imagine it'

phil broke a rib during repetition of 'some kind of stunt event' (during the boxing/wrestling match)

they spent $300 on silicon for 'full body character transformation onesie' for 'a perfectly unsexual moment of the show' (read: phil wears fake abs while pretending not to have sex with dan on stage)

Dan: 'you're not a 365 party girl? terrible influence when you're bumping that?' (charli xcx is on the preshow playlist and it teases the terrible song)

reveal of the 'dan and phil made me gay' T-shirt, teasing of the sweatshirt and black tour T-shirt

DATE NIGHT WITH DNP (25th Aug.)

dan sings muder on the dancefloor (which is on the preshow playlist)

dan going 'ohmygod they SHARE CLOTHES' (one of the conspiracies addressed in the show)

WRITING PHAN FICTION ABOUT OURSELVES (19th Aug.)

it's a fill-in-the-blanks game, as they do multiples times in the show (okay, not really foreshadowing as they've done this in all of their shows, but i think it was a way to introduce this to the newer audience maybe)

MrBeast mention

DNP REACT TO TATINOF (16th Aug.)

phil: 'fall out boy! my chemical romance! the shipping had started!' (basically all the ingredients of the no seriously imagine it post)

'if we asked people to confess stuff now it would be so much worse' 'the tone might be different' & 'and if you come to our show, there might be a different tone' (so... confess your sins to sister daniel, need i say more)

#spon (which is now #ad in the terrible song)

'i went to see dan and phil and all i got was this lousy plate' (EXCUSE ME DAN??? he was basically spoiling the merch two weeks in advance) (this is the moment that inspired me this post btw)

dan 'professional hater' howell is now the one starting the song in tit

'imagine that but 2025. we're old. we're gay. phil can say fuck' (and indeed, he says fuck)

DNP PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS (11th Aug.)

they wear the matching 'precious baby angel' t-shirts (same phrase used to describe phil in the show)

DNP DRESS EACH OTHER (14th July)

Phil: 'like two Kens playing with Kens' (i bet pj was crafting the little rooms and the little dolls at this point)

they both have mesh shirts as the main show outfits

'how booty are the shorts, dan?' 'i'm not gonna bend over in these things'.... except for the photocards that feature your ass in those shorts!

the two first look (emo!phil and beach!dan), the white cowboy hat, phil's blue and purple bomber jacket are all featured in the photocards sold at the show

DNP MASSIVE MUKBANG 2 (5th July)

'we've been doing this since 2009 and 2006 *excerpt from phil's first videoblog*' (that's literally the opening of the show)

'we reclaim what Dan and Phil is in 2024'

'we’re gonna look at what YouTube is like in 2024, how do we fit in, we’re gonna be taking shots at people'

'we’re gonna spill some things that would have sent you into cardiac arrest seven years ago' (2024-7=2017. so basically any of the conspiracies they adress from that time, like the tour bus, vegas, etc.)

'we’re gonna go full theater kids' (oooh teasing the musical number already)

'what do people want? Series mystery hunting, lifestyle cooking, real life, get a dog, domestic' (that's basically all the things they try on stage)

[flowerbloom-arts]

AU where the Shifting Mound doesn't snatch the Damsel so soon and you have to deal with the repercussions of existing past "Happily Ever After" with a voluntarily undeveloped Sweet Love Interest™.

(also, yippee finally found a way to put my 2 interests together!!)

(absolutely incomprehensible ramble under the cut.)

Okay so I'm going to make this as understandable as possible for the uninitiated, whether it be for the Moomin comic strip or the franchise at large.

The plushie the Damsel is holding is that of the Snork Maiden (or just Snorkmaiden), the girlfriend/love interest for the main character, Moomintroll. Now, Snorkmaiden is an interesting and largely misunderstood character, especially when it comes to her comic version where she's a bit of a "promiscuous" character who oftentimes ditches Moomintroll for another man when she sees fit, this is where the misunderstanding lies.

Snorkmaiden haters will dismiss this (if they were to read the comics, because in all honesty they aren't that widely considered or even read in the fandom) as an addition to her general unlikeability as an "obstacle" to the fandom's main gay ship between Moomintroll and his best friend, Snorkmaiden sympathizers will leap to justify this with the good ol' It Was Heteronormativity All Along, which is a very... Honestly lazy reading/justification of her character which doesn't hold up under scrutiny. I, however, have an obviously superior reading of her character (/not serious)

Snorkmaiden simply has a very different definition of romance or at least wants to gain something different out of the concept of romance as opposed to the general public perception built up around it, one which even Moomintroll can't even begin to grasp.

What she gets out of romance, and where it begins and ends for her, is the adventurous fall and honeymoon of it, and each new man she gets into a relationship with is thematically appropriate to the adventure/problem of the week that she and her boyfriend's family are currently facing. When she goes to the French Riviera she starts dating a rich actor because it is a tourist shoreline city where all the celebrities go, when she finds herself in the wintery unknown (she and the Moomins usually hibernate through it, they're creatures like that) she catches a crush on a professional winter sportsman, when she decides to live a hedonist life because some self-proclaimed prophet came in and told everyone to she decides to start it by running away with someone new, when she gets a job as a secretary she falls in love with a coworker who is really interested in accounting, so on and so forth. Even with Moomintroll, they fell in love upon her introduction and Moomintroll signifies a new life in the valley in which they currently live in.

And in the end all of these new romances fall apart either due to unfortunate circumstances, Moomintroll's jealous intervention or her simply becoming disinterested eventually, and in the end of all of them she returns to Moomintroll, as per formulaic comic strip storytelling. (I must mention that Moomintroll also falls in love with other women based on their looks, and he also fell in love with Snorkmaiden because he thought she was pretty, so, he's not that much better really)

This is a repeating cycle, one that Snorkmaiden is simply incapable of breaking out of due to the conventions of her narrative. No matter what she tries, where she goes, who she gets with, she'll always end up back in Moomintroll's arms whether he "earns it back through chivalry" or she runs back to him much to her previous chagrin. It's a self-fulfilling cycle too, in one comic it's shown that she's so used to Moomintroll's behavior that it sours her current relationship with an already bad partner even further. If she was capable of Truly Leaving then she stopped being capable at that point. Snorkmaiden is stuck with a long-term boyfriend when she normally strives in a short-term relationship.

She's also deeply entrenched in romance tropes and loves to roleplay them with Moomintroll, and especially loves them when she thinks they're real, these tropes she fancies usually tend toward kidnapping (and not alot of rescuing) or romantic sacrifice such as dueling or... Romeo and Juliet. These things are extensions of her ideas on what romance is, more about the short-term thrill than the long-term contentment.

Of course, with most Moomin media having a child demographic as opposed to the adult newspaper readers of the comics, Snorkmaiden's character in adaptations of these stories get presented without the depth or the means for that depth, as she gets presented as either a somewhat boring playdate to Moomintroll with grand, childish ideas of romance or a naggy girlfriend whom the writers try to make feminist but ultimately fails to deliver on anything subversive or substantial.

How this ties into the Princess is the cyclical nature of it all, the choices with no branching ends, the new experiences with seemingly no development, the change and then the sudden stop. And with the Damsel in particular it is the reduction of such an interesting and intriguing person full of potential to a cutout of a simple Love Interest. All that anguish is suddenly washed away into something more palatable, a parody of a fairytale princess, a goodness so pure that it is sickening, no motivation behind the eyes except for one simple goal.

Now. Don't get me wrong, the Damsel is my favorite princess, between the Adversaries and the Towers and the Witches and Wilds, the Damsel is the one which captivated my singular interest, becaus I'm not immune to her trappings of adorable beauty and saccharine sweetness with no other motivation than to make her hero happy, I believe that it's a combination of the player's desire for her to be a normal princess they can have a happy ending with but also her willfully stripping herself out of guilt of what she's done to the player.

She stripped herself of any real personhood just to make us happy, and that is the purest motivation anyone can have, really, a terribly misguided one but the sentiment is immeasurable. I pity her and I love her and I want her to be so genuinely happy because of what she's gone through but I know very well that she's incapable of that because the decisions the player chose made her that way, she is made incapable of genuine happiness without total dependence on the player's feelings and that really breaks my heart.

It breaks my heart when she's reduced to a crappy middle school anime drawing when she's put through the pressure of getting interrogated or being told strange things about what would make the player happy.

It breaks my heart when she's finally free but then immediately met with the coldness of the Shifting Mound and thought that coldness was happiness.

It breaks my heart when she accepts her second death with tears in her eyes and a smile because she thinks that's what made the player happy, and yet somehow she couldn't accept it as a real decision the player made on their own because in the first time she was warned that they were possessed, so the only conclusion she could come up with was that the cabin was causing this pain and so as the Grey she decides to burn the whole place to the ground and stare at you lovingly until her face melts away.

It breaks my heart that the Grey is in a wedding dress, on top of that.

She's so desperate to cling onto the first person to show her kindness that she seems to have become broken over it. She's so terribly tragic that I can't help but keep thinking about her and the million heartbreaks knowing that she's so lovely and selfless but she wasn't Real anymore.

I want her to have a massive fairytale wedding like at the end of Disney's old Cinderella movie and live forever with some physical manifestation of Voice of the Smitten. I want her to come back to personhood and cry and not be snapped like a twig over it. I want the Damsel to be happy in any way she seems fit to be but I know that can never happy, both by the nature of the game but also in the very programming of her character.

She is trapped, whether it's in the cabin, her own circular mentality or as part of the Shifting Mound, she's incapable of of being really free as her own person unless you count the ending of us leaving with the no-blade blade starter princess.

... And that's why I think she should hold a massive Snorkmaiden fair prize won by her darling new butch knight girlfriend.

[danieldrivesfast]

Continuing the educational series nobody asked for, let's talk about the difference between "hating" and "criticism based on facts/observation."

Example 1:

"Logan Sargeant isn't going to be long for Formula 1. Williams gave him a second chance, but he hasn't shown enough improvement and isn't making any real progress. I think he's going to have a long racing career in another series, maybe IndyCar, and I hope he does well for himself."

vs.

"Logan is wasting that seat. He absolutely sucks and JV should've kicked him out for Kimi/whoever. Fucking loser is P20 every week and can't score points unless everyone else explodes."

Example 2:

"Daniel Ricciardo should really be qualifying better. I don't know how he's going to keep his seat for next season if he's behind Yuki and the CEO of his team is saying the investors want someone younger. I think he's doing well and has helped the team a lot, but his circumstances and situation are awful right now."

vs.

"Ricciardo is washed. I hope he's replaced by Liam for the rest of the season. He's only around because he's Horner's baby and he smiles at the camera for money. He's a shitty person and if you support him you're an idiot and a racist."

Example 3:

"Lance Stroll's father bought a race team for him to make sure he always has a seat, regardless of his results/skill. The way he speaks to and has physically gone after his team isn't okay. The other drivers don't really seem to like/interact with him much and it's a shame he tries to skip out on fan stuff."

vs.

"[Ableist slur.] [Insult based on perceived disability.] I hope that nepo baby crashes and breaks his wrists again. His dad is a [Epstein reference]."

Do we see the difference?

Part of sports, or being a fan of anything, is being objective. You're not less of a fan if you acknowledge the shortcomings or issues of the people/things you support. I'd argue it makes you a more well-rounded fan and is better for the sport/athlete in the long run. To get very personal, I have a friendly acquaintance who was a professional athlete for a long time, and they would come to me for an objective opinion about things they were going through in their sport. You can be the biggest cheerleader while still understanding that not every single thing they do will be perfect or at the highest level.

I got some hate for being objective about Daniel's seat situation for next season, because people automatically assume anything that isn't blind positivity is "hating." I would lay down in front of a train for that man and fistfight whoever says he doesn't have the skill to compete anymore. But I can also understand his situation and acknowledge that factors mostly out of his control could likely screw him right out of F1. That doesn't make me less of a fan, it doesn't mean I'm not supporting him and hoping for the best, and I certainly don't hate him. As an example.

So, before you start raging and telling someone they're hating, or a racist, or a dumb cunt, or should go jump off a cliff, try to take a step back and actually process what they're saying. Ask questions, even. Offer a polite counterpoint. I know it's not always easy, trust me, but the leap to STUPID HATER from casual/factual observation is very silly. Everybody might even learn something new.

Of course, if someone is actually being cruel and/or hating for hating's sake, unleash those "dumb cunts." Just make sure first!

[bootsukki]

warnings: suggestive? ooc tsukki idk, league of legends pro!tsukishima x fem! reader sooooooooooo.... part 2 with smut? hehe (haven’t played lol in a long time but….)

the finals of league of legends worlds was reaching a fever pitch and no one could believe that a team full of rookies had made it to the final stage.

it all started at high school where hinata shoyo, kageyama tobio, yamaguchi tadashi and tsukishima kei had joined the gaming club with 0 expectations. the reality was that the club, created by three third-year students, had nothing until they arrived. alongside sugawara koushi, the only third year interested in league of legends, they reached the unimaginable: winning trophies in amateur championships, moving onto higer-level leagues until they were spotted by one of the greatest organizations in the history of japan's gaming: karasuno's gc, leading them to the international stage.

after a clutch semifinal match, tsukishima kei—newest, most uncharacteristically smug face in the professional scene—was brought to the interview stage for some post-game questions. tsukishima had a lot of fans but also a lot of haters. he was well-known for his sharp comments on stream and his calm and calculated style that made him one of the best junglers in the world.

during the interview, he was calm as usual, deadpan even, while he answered questions about strategy, his playstyle and his future goals.

"so, tsukishima, you're officially one game away from taking the world championship which is amazing, considering this is your first year playing professionally at the level—do you have a specific motivation that's been pushing you to win?"

for a second, tsukishima's usual bored expression gave way to a smirk and everyone was caught off-guard by his sudden shift in expression. he turned to look at hinata, his teammate, friend and adc and smirked, again.

"actually, yeah", he drawled, folding his arms. "if we win, i'm expecting the cute girl at the analyst desk to give me her number"

the crowd erupted with laughter, cheers and gasps as his teammates—who'd been watching from the sidelines—started clapping and jeering. it had all started at a joke one night, about tsukishima having this big fat crush on you since he first saw you in another competition, checking your socials and always liking your posts and although tsukki was not one to keep his comments to himself, they didn't expect such a statement from him.

the camera cut to the analyst desk, where you were currently seated along your (male) co-workers who were laughing at you and trying to keep their composure to keep working.

the crowd cheered as kageyama tobio made his way towards the trophy, nearly jumping in excitement as his hands grabbed the worlds' trophy.

the whole team had made an incredible finals, winning against their enemy team after five excruciating games. in the final game of the series, they pulled of a dramatic win after making their way towards the baron nashor and killing their enemies. the whole team stormed through the enemy base to secure the worlds championship and the crowd went wild as the nexus exploded, signaling their victory.

tsukishima allowed himself a rare grin as their teammates tackled him in a giant celebration pile on the stage and as he grabbed the trophy, he knew this was probably the best day of his life.

as the celebrations died down and the stage had been empties of fans, they made their way backstage to pick up their things and rest for a bit before they had a mandatory after-party with other teams and people from riot.

"tsukki", yamaguchi nudged him. "sooooo...."

"so?"

"she's going to be at the after-party, you know? (y/n)."

tsukishima rolled his eyes, trying to play it cool. "yeah, okay."

"aren't you going to say something?"

"what is there to say?"

"oh, c'mon!" yamagushi smirked. "that you have the biggest crush on her, duh."

"shut up."

"okay, okay!" yamaguchi laughed. "i'm just saying, maybe this is your best chance to talk to her."

tsukishima grabbed his things and made his way towards the car that was taking them to the hotel wjen his phone buzzed, and he saw a twitter notification. it was a dm from you.

@y/n: so, i guess you earned that number. want to collect it in person?

tsukishima felt a little heat creep up his neck. he smirked.

@tsukishima_jg: see you at the party.

the party was in full swing and almost everyone had made their way towards it. executives from riot, players, interviewers and other people were inside the large local riot had rented for the occasion. music thumped in the background and laughter echoed into the room as everyone celebrated to victory and the end of the season until january. tsukishima had been hanging back for most of the night, nursing a few drinks and watching the chaos, aka hinata trying to show his dance moves, unfold. that was, until he spotted you walking into the room after leaving it for a few minutes.

he had been watching you and although he had been confident enough to say that he wanted your number on stream, his nerves were catching up to him.

you looked stunning, confidence radiating off of you as you made your way through the crowd, trying to find something to drink, but, as you turned, your eyes locked on his and you forgot about your desire for a drink, heading straight towards him.

"you've been avoiding me", you teased as you stopped in front of him, tilting your head.

"i don't avoid people", he replied, taking a short sip of his drink.

"can i try it?"

tsukishima raised an eyebrow and nodded, letting you grab the straw. you swirled his drink and drank for a second, a soft "hum" leaving your lips, looking straight into his eyes. "i didn't take you for a man who likes sweet drinks."

"i'm full of surprises."

"are you as sweet?"

tsukishima smiled.

"maybe", he said, voice low and teasing. "you want to find out?"

"maybe." you said, "i came to give you your prize"

"worth the wait"

you laughed, shaking your head. "is that why you played so well? thinking of this moment?"

"i've been thinking of more than just this moment."

"hm, you're bold for someone who spent the majortiy of his game glaring at the rivals."

"boldness pays off." he stepped closer, the space between your bodies shrinking. "you don't seem to mind it."

"maybe i don't," you countered, holding his gaze. "although i have to say, i was expecting something a little more impressive after all that talk"

"oh?" what were you expecting? a grand speech? romantic gesture?"

"i don't know," you said, pretending to think. "begging for my number? you did call me out in front of millions."

"begging's not my style," he said, leaning in just slightly, voice dropping an octave. "but if you want to make me work for it, i don't mind."

"you talk big game, tsukishima. are you this smooth with every girl?"

he shook his head, hand brushing against yours, the warmth of his skin making you shiver just a bit. "so? about your number... are you giving it to me?"

"depends," you said, voice quieter now, confidence faltering slighty under the intense gaze of his brown eyes. "what are you going to do with it?"

he chuckled, "you'll find out. that is, if you're braver enough to answer my calls."

you blinked, caught somewhere between fluteres and impressed and he leaned just a bit closer. "in the meantime, though," he murmured, "maybe i should make up for calling you out on live stream."

before you could respond, his hand slipped lightly to your waist, pulling you a little closer, his lips brushing against your ear but before he could even say something, he felt your hand getting inside his pocket, taking out his phone.

"unlock it"

tuskishima's finger tightened slightly on your waist, leaving his drink in a table and taking his phone from your hand, unlocking it and giving it back to you, watching you save your contact information.

his eyes flicked to your lips, smirk returning briefly before it melted into something else entirely.

"can i kiss you?"

you nodded and without another word, he closed the distance between you, leaning down to crash his lips into yours, his hands sliding to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him.

the kiss was raw and passionate, the kind of kiss that leaves no room for uncertainty. one of his hands came up to cradly your jaw, tilting your head just right as he deepened the kiss and you smiled, your arms wrapping around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.

the heat of his body pressed against yours, his lips moving with a mixture of precision and need. when he pulled back just sightly to catch his breath, his forehead rested against yours, his glasses slightly askew, lips red and swollen from the kiss.

"well..."

you laughed softly, placing a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat at an alarmingly fast rate.

"is that good for an apology?"

you pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, a sly smile curling on your lips. "i think you're going to have to do more than just a kiss"

"i better get to work, right?"

"right" you pulled away, taking his drink and chugging it completely "my room is 279."

[littlemissrbf]

Arcane S2 Ep 4 Thoughts

This will be a lot more professional than my previous post

(Spoilers ahead)

Episode 1: Paint the Town Blue

The opening music video with blue spray paint and scribbles over the black and white images looked so cool I'm sure there's an english teacher out there that can explain the symbolism- but all I can think about is Jinx/Isha drawing a damn mustache and angry eyes on Ambessa

OoOOOo Maddie get it girl- honestly these two are super cute together but I don't think they're gonna last, either Maddie dies (please riot don't do this) or Caitlyn leaves her for Vi.

Jinx and Isha are playing the monster game that Vi and Powder played as kids (except this time with bugs)

Isha wearing bunny ears is really hammering in the Powder-Isha parallels- "you kinda remind me of her"

Isha is using sign language- when Jinx goes to throw the bug off the ledge Isha pulls her back and signs what looks like a variation of "CONSERVE" and then "GAME" which would translate to "save for game". Later after their handshake, Isha uses "HOLD ON" to tell Jinx to wait while she gets her gun for her to fix. After Jinx asks if Sevika put her up to this she rolls her eyes, shakes her head no, and signs "FIGHT" and points down which could be her sign for "NOW"

Isha and Jinx's little handshake is so cute

"Jinx is dead." WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?!?! Don't worry, you're not alone, your sister is also having an identity crisis right about now.

Ambessa being 100% sure that the Black Rose is behind Jayce and Heimerdingers disappearance is so fucking hilarious- "It's no coincidence." Ma'am you just picked the worst time to seize control, the only two scientists who developed and actually understand hextech are either busy becoming Zaun Jesus or stuck in the damn quantum realm inside the hexcore.

Lest fans rejoice she's back, also Salo being the undercity's biggest hater AND NOW going to the undercity to be healed by Viktor- the fucking audacity.

Y'ALL THE BATMAN FIRELIGHT DUDE WEARING A NEWSIE CAP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY FOR NO REASON

"It's her's. I'd recognize it anywhere" Caitlyn, sweetheart, that was made by a literal 7 year old

Jinx trying to flip Sevika off with her left hand and then realizing that her middle finger is literally missing was a solid way to censor a flip off and was probably the main reason that she decided to make a prosthetic for herself

Damn Sevika just can't seem to keep her left arm- every single time she gets a new prosthetic it gets destroyed

JINX FAILING TO FLIP OFF SEVIKA AND THEN FLIPPING OFF THE ENFORCER WITH HER NEW PROSTHETIC MIDDLE FINGER IS THE FUNNIEST SET UP AND PAYOFF IN THE SERIES

Okay we all know that Sevika is hot but something about Sevika at the end of the episode in a tank top with her new haircut is sO HOT OMG RIOT THANK YOU

Okay Warwick is fucking horrifying- his pov shots in red, the sound design, and the absolutely brutal way he kills by mauling and slashing like a damn bear on steroids

Hearing Vander's voice again and the fact that he recognizes Powder was absolutely devastating, thanks a lot riot

(okay this ended up so long and it was only episode 4 sheesh)

[ray935sworld]

Once again laughing about the different pictures that were put for different languages on Wikipedia

Cause the French, Danish and Italian version chose good Casey pics. He looks decent. He looks okay. He looks slightly like the hater he is

Meanwhile the German one

Like - I'm sorry, from all the professionally taken pictures you chose this one? That's his hater face. That's the face of a man that's slightly unsettled, completely confused and to perplexed to yell at you (yet)

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Black Reader - The Bodyguard Part 1/8

Yeah, this is going to be good 🤭🤭 So good!

Summary - Reader is a popstars in trouble and Ruben is her new bodyguard, here to protect and help her find out who wants to hurt her. But what happens when the relationship between Reader and Ruben simply gets too personal?

Enjoy!

"A bodyguard? For what?"

"Y/N, a person has threatened your life."

"So? People do that online every day. Haters gonna hate."

You fell back against the cuchens of your fifthy thousand euro couch. Sure, it was expensive, but it came straight from the set of Pulp Fiction, a collectors item, worth every penny. Pulp Fiction was your absolute favorite movie of all time.

"I get that you don't want someone following you around all day, especially now with the tour of your knew album, but please consider your own safety first." You're sister had been managing you ever since the beginning of your singing career, of course her natural instict was to worry about you.

"Fine you sighed. So when is this guy coming?"

"Well, we had him fly in from his latest job in the UAE."

"The what know?"

"The UAE, like Dubai? Aapparently even the riches shieks in the middle east wants this guy as their bodyguard. He's an ex navy seal from what I've heard."

"Girl." You chuckled. "I received one threatening phone call from a man who calls himself the Dickonataor 3000. What makes you think I need a navy seal to protect me from that? You should have gotten one of the pumped up dudes from the fitness center I go to to set this guy straight. How much is this bodyguard guy even costing us?"

"Well, he said your only up for trial and that discussions won't happen until the end of that trial period."

"A trial?" You sat up. "You mean to tell me that this guy is only coming around for a trial. To what? See if my life is really worth guarding?"

"Somthing like that, yes. I don't know all the details. Taylor was the one who set everything up."

"Taylor? What does he know about hiring bodyguards?"

"Well he has a decade of experience when it comes to driving spoiled popstars like yourself."

"I'm not spoiled, you're spoiled."

You're sister smiled. "We're both spoiled."

"Mom would be very proud, too bad she rarely flies out to see us?"

"She will be here for your album release party, she promised."

"Yeah, yeah, promises promises, they mean nothing to me."

Your sister stood with her hands behind her back,  watching you. You hated the way she dressed nowadays, in pantsuits, like a damn politician.

"Are you ready to go back to rehearsals?" She asked. You had only gone back to your apartment for a quick break. You had been dancing all day.

"I haven't eaten anything yet." You said.

"We'll pick somthing up on the go, come." She offered you her hand. Just like she when you were kids, wanting to hold your hand on your way to school.

Rehearsals went well, however your feet were killing you by the time you got home. Taylor dropped you off at the apartment whilst your sister still had some business to take care of. You were glad to be alone for a change, having been surrounded by people telling you what to do all day.

"Maria?"

You peaked your head through to the kitchen to see if your personal chef was there. You'd ask her to cook a nice meal, perhaps one of her country's delicacies. You loved Brazilian food.

"Maria?"

She was nowhere to be found. You went to look for her in her office.

"Mari—"

"She's not here."

You froze as a big shadow swept behind you, followed by the dark voice of a man.

"Who are you?" You turned around and gasped. The man stood tall, dressed in a blacksuit and tie. His hair was slicked back, like a business man trying to appear more professional than he was.

"I'm here to kill you." He stated, just like that, with his hands tied before him.

"Um...okay. Taylor!!" You shouted.

"We're twelve stories up sweetheart, he won't hear you."

You frowned, applled by the man and his commanding, yet not threatening demeanor.

"What do you want, I don't keep any money here."

"Yeah, I realized that. However I hacked into your computer in your office."

"Y...you what?"

"It's not very smart of you not to encrypt any of your emails. I've received everything I need about your recent payments, credit card details, enough to forge your identity to make you go bankrupt in a few days time."

Your chest heaved up with your heavy breathing. Who was this guy, an intruder? Why was he so calm? Was he one of those serial killers to have sex with your corps before cutting it to pieces and eat it. Not on your watch, you thought and quickly ran back downstairs.

"Mariaaaaa!" You shouted.

"Like I said, I sent her home."

The man was right at your heals, following you wherever you went.

"What...why?" You said, slightly out of breath and your feet were still sore, so you didn't feel like running.

"Your apartment should be cleared out of staff by 6.pm it's easier to keep track of who goes in and out of the apartment if all your staff have a time stamp on them."

"How did you even get into the building?" You asked. "Did the doorman let you in?"

The man looked at you with tinted eyes, they were intimidating, yet kind. "The doorman has a shift change that occurs with a thirty minute window before the next guy shows up. I simply bid my time, observing your building all day, waiting for the right moment to simply walk into the building and take the elevator up to your floor."

"W.. what do you want?" You were trembling with fear now, ready to scream if the man dared try anything. However he seemed to keep his distance between you, yet it seemed like he was still invading your space.

"Like I said, I'm here to kill you. Or more so simulate how a killer would make the attempt to approach you in your home. From what I've gathered today you're an easy victim Y/N."

"How did you....wait are you...you're him aren't you? The bodyguard?"

The man stood with his hands behind his straight back, neither confirming or denying your statement.

You shook your head, a hint of a smile on your lips. "What a starnge way to introduce yourself and aren't you too young to be a bodyguard. I was expecting some G.I Joe looking mother fuc...."

"I think I'll do guarding a 60 kg girl who doesn't lock her front door when she leaves her home."

"But I know everyone who lives in this building and we have a doorman."

"You'll lock your doors from now on." He said, end of.

You were slightly taken back, mostly by the way he was dominating you, but also by the way you let him dominant you.

"It's my apartment,  I can do whatever I want." You said, a bit unconvincing.

"Not on my watch."

You snorted. "Right."

"Did I say something funny?"

"Yeah, a lot of things actually."

"I'm sorry to have frightened you with my unannounced entry Miss..."

"Y/N, is fine. " You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

"It's just standard protocol for me to ensure that whoever I'm working for is secure beyond my protection so that when it's necessary for me to give my life to them, I'll know it was for the right reason and not some sloppy mistake like an unlocked door or the fact that you let unwanted personal linger past suitable hours."

You're eyes were narrowed as you stared at the man, trying to make sense of it all. You stared at him until the point of realizing that he was actually kind of cute.

"Oh shit, there you are."

The strange introduction came to an end with your sister stumbling through the door.

"Taylor told me that he picked you up from the airport hours ago. I see you've already met my sister." She stepped forward shaking the man's hand.

"Yes we have just made ourselves acquainted, setting some ground rules for this arrangement."

Your sister looked at you, slightly impressed. You on the other hand was not having it at all.

"Y/N, why the long face?" Your sister said. "Meet Ruben Dias, you're new bodyguard."

[strawberrylollipop26-blog-blog]

Movie/Show Round UP

I haven't done one of these in awhile. As always, my thoughts are short and to the point. I don't go in depth. I'm not a professional reviewer, just my thoughts.

Under the cut there are reviews for Fly Me to the Moon, Inside/Out 2, Despicable Me 4, A Quiet Place: Day One, Dune Part 2, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, The Fall Guy, Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, Civil War, Madame Web, Argylle, Abigail and The Bikeriders. TV shows: Legend of Fei and Halloween Baking Championship.

Fly Me to the Moon: I saw this movie during a three show day at the theater. It was the middle movie and the biggest question mark. Turns out, the whole 'did they or didn't they' land on the moon theory was actually interesting. While I have zero interest in a rewatch, definitely worth attempting for first time viewers.

Inside/Out 2: This movie was exactly the same as the first. There's nothing new here except for possibly children experiencing new emotions. As an adult, I was bored.

Despicable Me 4: Cute. This film added nothing.

A Quiet Place: Day One: I thought it was nicely done. Still, didn't knock my socks off like the first one. My spouse wanted to know exactly how people learned to be quiet. I tried to tell him that they showed it in the second movie. He wanted more of a show. He was also annoyed that we know nothing about the aliens and it's the third movie. Slight spoiler, I wish we didn't know something about a certain character because it would've made the ending decision so much more impactful.

Dune: Part 2: Well, he tried to warn them about what would happen. I like the action that happens even though it all folds into a pretty box.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire: I barely remember this movie. It was sort of reminiscent of the previous one. A typical unite to defeat the super evil blah blah blah.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes: Disturbing T!k T0ks regarding the leads aside, this movie was enjoyable. Although, I had no idea a new movie series was starting. There were quite the few holes left so I'd see the second one.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die: I saw this before the previous one so I was quite confused in certain parts. All in all it was enjoyable. There are some funny moments. I've had the urge to watch again.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire: I haven't seen this in awhile. From what I remember there's a side character hero in here that's pretty funny. Pretty textbook, you know what's going to happen before it does.

The Fall Guy: I've heard people talking about this one and disliking it. I thought the whole purpose was to have an outrageous fun movie showing crazy stunts the doubles do. Is it the best movie? No, but if you like action it's worth a watch.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga: I'm an action girl. I highly valued the first Mad Max. This movie is obviously character based therefore slower to catch the stages of development (it's even told in chapters). I was bored. All the story shows in the normal character faced adversity, lived a hard life, finally goes for their revenge. Zero interest in a rewatch. I'll turn on the first one again.

Civil War: A weird movie full of numerous holes. A waste of my time.

Madame Web: I thought it was okay even though this movie was review bombed. There's nothing special about it, but it's not the worst movie that people complained about. Then again, to each their own.

Argylle: Another movie that was review bombed. I also guessed the likely story in this one. I think this movie suffers mostly from trying to be too many things. It goes for serious, yet wild and fun, yet logical. I think if the movie with the effects stayed 'out there' then people would've found it more enjoyable. Maybe.

Sidenote: My husband is always surprised that me (comedy hater) loves Rat Race and Joe Dirt. My response is always the same. Both movies are unapologetically insane. They don't take themselves seriously at all. I think Argylle should've done this as they had moments before deciding to become a serious spy movie.

The Bikeriders: First of all there's a narrator to this movie. Threw me off a bit at first, I normally don't watch those type of movies because i feel it leaves off clues. The movie's okay. Practically a drama in a bikerider setting. There isn't much mystery so another one that's easy to read.

Abigail: I enjoyed this movie until the ending. Not much I can say without spoiling.

Legend of Fei: I finally finished this show. Took me forever as it has good episodes, and others I cared less for (admittedly skipped scenes). Some characters were so annoying. Thankfully, Fei stopped passing out which was killing me. Xie Yun is my absolute fave. I might be biased, but all his scenes were so much fun except for the ones where he's sick :( . I've read reviews where people say they can watch this repeatedly, I'm not one of them. One and done. Sort of reminded me of WoH main storyline.

Sidenote: I love the one scene where he's reminiscing the past in his dreams and he no longer has money. The way this man kept opening up his pouch and dumping it over to make sure there were no coins. So relatable in my younger days.

Halloween Baking Championship: An era has come to an end or at least caught up in the seasons. I really like this cooking show. I hope people have some out of the box creations in the new year coming up.

[izzyspussy]

okay so. jamie has a "don't get along very well because they're too similar" vibe going on with both beard and nate.

with beard because of certain past experiences and certain behavioral responses to them and related similar attachment styles and also there's some tension because one of them is a self-hater about All That and at once hates the other guy too by default and is envious that he doesn't also hate himself but i'm not naming names it could definitely totally be either one haha [smiling with sweat drop emoji].

with nate because they are both so autism. and they're not like opposing autistic traits guys, like sensory-seeking vs easily overstimulated etc, but just because they are both either undiagnosed or misdiagnosed but very very aware that they are Different than their other peers, and being around each other - especially in any not very strictly professional capacity - the Sameness in them is really highlighted and it makes them both almost like. disconcerted, the way you'd get in a really gnarly hall of mirrors. and like neither of them is like ashamed necessarily, but they do both prefer, i think maybe a lot like colin not wanting to be a spokesperson or rebecca not wanting to go to the superleague meeting because she knew she was only invited because she's a woman, they prefer if it's allowed to just be a not particularly notable facet to their whole personality and not something other people can point at and go hm that guy checks these autism boxes or whatever, you get me? so when they're together and they are reflecting/magnifying each other via their similarities, in addition to the hall of mirrors feeling, they also get kinda self-conscious, because then jamie can't just be like oh i'm like this because i'm so quirky and beautiful and nate can't just be like i'm like this because i'm such a genius bc their attention (and everyone else's, they fear) becomes more drawn to the This that they're Like as a connected set of traits instead of as separate little pieces of their wholes.

so basically, jamie and beard and nate all really Get each other on certain particular levels that nobody else really does, and they all empathize with each other in specific ways, and they are all willing to back each other up or stick their necks out for each other (post-s3 when beard and nate are no longer trying to be in fucking highlander where There Can Be Only One and they need to fucking behead the other two - not to say jamie was handling them any better circa s1, he just needed at least one of them around to patsy for him hgjsklw), but beard-jamie and nate-jamie absolutely cannot like Hang Out or make actual friends with each other.

and beard has a "get along great because they're so similar" vibe with both bumbercatch and keeley (who, once they get to know each other better through beard, also have that with each other), and also of course with roy, who in turn has that with rebecca. and nate has that vibe with colin, and once he stops feeling Weird about when he kissed her he has it with keeley too.

and beard has a sort of semi-onesided/deep but distant adoration of sam where he just really likes to be around him because he's just so great, and also maybe kind of reminds him a little bit of ted and his presence can help beard not feel like he's suffering more than jesus from missing the (straight) bestie (who was an Almost QPP but now is really "just" the bestie) so so so bad every second he's alive lmao. and nate has an also mostly onesided but more utilitarian relationship of sam where he'll plant himself within vibes range of him so that he can absorb some of his positivity and openness, as a way to reenforce to himself that See! you can be generous and nice and emotionally available without getting hurt, Look! It's Really Possible! Don't!! Be A Prickish Cocky Wounded Butterfly!!!

and beard has that utilitarian vibe, but eventually more requited, vibe with jan mass. when he needs a Lesson or a reality check and nate or higgins is being too understanding and sympathetic with him, and rebecca is being too "go ahead and keep fucking around, but if you do you're gonna find out" type of permissive, and roy either needs the same lesson/check or is worse or just doesn't know how to talk about it, and ted is too far away to impart his wisdom effectively or wouldn't Get the issue well enough to speak on it at all, beard will go to jan and give him a spoken bulletpoint list of the sitch and jan will tell him exactly and precisely How It Is equally as efficiently. and in the inverse, after beard doing that with him enough to count as a pattern, jan maas will go to beard when someone is behaving in a contradictory/hypocritical/counterintiutive manner and beard will explain to him a few possible reasons one might be a bit insane in that situation (dr sharon would of course be much a more reliable source on this topic, but it would be unethical to ask her since the people being discussed would frequently be her other patients).

MEANWHILE. beard and nate have BOTH a "don't get along very well because they're too similar" AND a "get along great because they're so similar" vibe with each other going on at the same time. they have the parallel backstory and reaction to that beard has with jamie (and honestly nate kind of has this with jamie too, but nate isn't ready to acknowledge that and neither was the narrative and neither are most of y'all lol. cough.) and therefore the same deep understanding and relation to each other. and they in fact actually both have self-haterism about it, which at times results in hate of the self through the other but at times results in a particularly poignant flavor of empathy+compassion. plus beard feels he has like a duty to Honor what ted did for him, and nate feels the same duty to honor beard (and ted). so in effect they end up with a similar kind of dynamic to siblings, where truly no one else will ever Know them this way up to and including most of their actual relatives, romantic partners, best friends, etc, and no one else will ever love or hate them with the depth and intensity that they love and hate each other (and themselves), no one else will ever be capable of healing and hurting them as well as they can heal and hurt each other, and they will never ever ever ever not pick up the phone when the other calls even if someday they've not been on speaking terms for thirty years, and all of this will never ever in their whole entire lives ever change no matter fucking what - it's all utterly unconditional and will only die when both of them do.

which is almost like what beard has and will always have with ted, and is maybe also almost like something nate could have had with ted too if they hadn't both fucked that. BUT. with one tiny little difference that makes so very much difference. nate is only straight-ish. if they keep things good, they will grow into Actual QPPs.

and even if beard by that point hasn't already had the growth and fortitude to leave jane yet, he will kind of like Have to then because unlike with ted there won't be any rationalization like "well we're Just Friends so maybe she's right and i really shouldn't be prioritizing him so much". like tbh i didn't hate the beardjane endgame as much as it seems most people did because i could kind of See It that they were headed in a better direction/jane was shown to have the potential and interest to become a healthier partner. BUT. to be honest i don't think she would ever not be at least a little possessive, and beard having a full fledged Life Partner other than her would be a dealbreaker for her, and i also kind of think that it would be something she would backslide on, so best case scenario they would have to have a mutual breakup where beard lays out that having to change his dynamic with nate is a dealbreaker for him + that having this type of dynamic is part of who he is and jane lays out that not being able to have complete, fully-enclosed romantic/emotional monogamy is a dealbreaker for her + that's part of who she is, and they would unfortunately have to use all the recovery and mutual self-improvement they did to come to the conclusion that they ultimately aren't compatible and need to get a divorce.

and beardnate probably wouldn't have had like an official sit down and talk about it and lay out what our dynamic actually is and what we want it to be Defining The Relationship conversation yet then, but after having the dtr as over talk with jane beard would probably once again firmly but kindly (via an extensively rehearsed script) tell himself sometimes we have to do things we don't like and would set up a Meeting with nate to do it. and probably neither of them would use the "right" vocabulary to describe and define what they are, but they would map out the parameters and turn it into something that they're doing with intent.

jade, unlike jane, would've the whole time been like well you guys are deeply fucking weird about each other but it doesn't affect me at all and i like it when my boyfriend who i love is happy so whatever man. and then after nate sat her down to their own Talk and explained actually yeah babe we are this very particular type of weird about each other and we have explicitly agreed to start being that weird on purpose and, like, commitment - and he wouldn't at any point think she'd breakup with him but like you can't help but be nervous anyway, you know - she'd be like. okay well i guess you're weirder about each other than i thought but actually that's kind of cool and regardless it still doesn't affect me and i like it when you're happy so. whatever man.

and actually, it turns out it does affect jade but only in good ways, because she doesn't really want to ever get Real Married and she doesn't want kids, but with beard in the picture nate can have a little ceremony with both or neither of them depending on whatever his own preference is, jade and nate can do a non-legal common law type of thing, and beard and nate can do a civil union type of thing if they want to (or maybe by that point in The Future, the uk will recognize multi-partner and concurrent marriages, and then natejade can do a legally recognized common law marriage and beardnate can fully get married, or you know we can just pretend it's already like that since it's fiction and there also was no covid and club academy kids board and etc, anything is possible), and nate can co-parent beardjane's kids + can be legally declared godparent/the next next-of-kin after beard and jane (jane would be a liiiittle bothered by this too but not nearly as much as having to share her husband, not enough to actually take issue with it).

the post is so much longer and went so many more places than i intended it to, so now once again i don't know how to end it. here. here is the post. thank you.

[mayajadewrites]

Sweet Secret (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F! Reader CEO Levi Ackerman coming in hot. I've been wanting to write a CEO Levi/Sugar daddy Levi story for a hot minute. Enjoy! Story Summary: You needed a job. Ackerman Inc was hiring for an in house assistant for none other than the CEO: Levi Ackerman. He's known to be essentially the worst to work with, you decide to take the job and take on the challenge that is Levi Ackerman. Will your relationship remain professional, or will their be monetary value added to the stakes? Or possibly even... love? ao3 Chapter Fifteen: Trust

let me know what you guys think!! i love responding to comments and it inspires me to write more :)

You needed to tell Levi how you felt.

That is 'arrangement' wasn't working, because you wanted all of him. You didn't want to feel like this was a transaction. You wanted to know all the little things about him that he may see as insignificant, but in reality they're what makes him, him.

It's been a couple of days since the bar outing and things with you and Levi seem... normal. Well, normal for you two.

You open your phone to check if your sister answered any of your texts, but they all are left unread. Your heart starts to beat faster as you open the map to see where she is - about an hour away upstate. Your work laptop is in front of you as you're organizing the company's expenses on a spreadsheet, but your mind is elsewhere.

"You okay?" Jean pressed his hand to your shoulder which causes you to jump. Jean interrupted your thoughts, maybe for the better. "You looked like you were zoned out."

"Leave her alone, horse face." Eren said as he picked some papers up from the printer. "I'm sure your face scared her enough."

"Eren you are such a hater, I don't know how Mikasa can stand you." 

"You WISH she could stand you." Eren mumbled as he walked to his desk. Jean turned his attention back to you. 

"Seriously, you good?"

"I'm fine, thank you." You look back at your phone, hoping that your sisters name will pop up. 

She means everything to you. You spent so much time raising her the best you could, so she wouldn't turn out like your parents. Gave her everything you could, even though that meant you would suffer. It was all worth it for her. 

It was finally the end of the workday and you honestly can't remember anything that you did. Your anxiety is at an all time high, your heart rate definitely 5x faster than it should be. You kept checking your sisters location and your text thread, but there were never any new notifications. You leaned on the kitchen counter as you scrolled. 

"Oi, what's wrong?" Levi grabbed your arm gently. "You've been somewhere else all day." He poked your temple with his index finger.

"I haven't talked to my sister in 2 weeks." 

"Is that abnormal? I don't have siblings." 

"For us? Yes. I'm more of a mother figure to her, so I worry more than a sister might."

"Show me her location." Levi pressed his chest to your back as he peered over your shoulder at your phone. You slide the map back on your screen, pointing to the dot with a picture of your sister on it. "Why is she up there?" 

"Your guess is as good as mine." You sigh and check your messages again. "Am I being over dramatic? Should I just let her live?" You turn to face Levi, letting your hands settle on his forearms. "Tell me the truth, Levi."

"I've never lied to you."  Levi pushed a piece of stray hair behind your ear. "I don't think you're being over dramatic. But I do think you need to take a breath. She's an adult, right?"

"She's only 18." You look down. "I knew nothing at 18."

"But you were basically a mother at 18." His index finger pushed your chin up to gaze into his eyes. "Do you trust her?" 

"I-I do. But sometimes she acts like my moth- the woman who birthed me. And that worries me."

"She's growing up, she's not the little girl you have to protect anymore." 

You nod, pressing your forehead to his chest. His fingertips traced shapes on your back as he held you, letting you just... be. He didn't say a word. You didn't cry, but you needed comfort in that moment. 

Once night fell, you buried yourself in your bed. You don't sleep in Levi's bed often, only when you hear him have his nightmares. Your body craves his presence, but you don't want to seem like you're spending time with him for money. You genuinely want to sleep next to him. You want to wake up next to him - morning breath and all.

You soft skin touched the sheets as you tried to find a comfortable position, but it was to no avail. Anxiety fills your stomach and brain, so no sleep for you. 

You pad to the kitchen, surprised to find Levi already there.

"Can't sleep?" He takes a sip of his tea, pushing a mug towards you with his fingers. 

You nod, taking the tea and sipping the warm liquid. "How do you make this so perfect every time?"

"That's a secret for me to know and you to never find out." 

You stare at him for a moment, in his white t-shirt and navy blue sweatpants, his hair a bit messy. Your mesmerized by him - he makes your heart flutter.

"Levi," You set the mug down, taking a step toward him. He takes a step toward you, gently setting his cup next to yours. 

"Mm?" He tilted his head, his hands restraining themselves from touching your beautiful face. 

"I-I want to tell you..." You take another step toward him, your bodies almost touching. 

"Spit it out." He whispered, his hand ghosting your waist. 

You look up into his eyes, then to his lips, back to his eyes. He leaned his head in as he closed his eyes. Your lips hovered over his before you hear your phone ring in your room, breaking the moment.

"I'm so sorry." You ran to your room to see your sisters name on your screen. You sighed of relief as you ran into the kitchen with your phone to show Levi. "It's her!"

Levi watched you as you answered the call.

"Alexis! Where the fuck have you been?! I've called and text you-"

"Hey." Someone elses voice said your name. It was a woman who you don't recognize. "You're the only person who's text her recently so I thought you would be the best to call."

"Who is this?" You raise an eyebrow, then looking to Levi.

"My name is Sage, I've been hanging out with your sister for a bit and well... she's not okay." 

"What the fuck do you mean she's not okay? Where is she? What's wrong?"

"She's... in the hospital. Critical condition."

"Why?!" You almost scream. "What happened to her?"

"She overdosed."

[inchidentally]

Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

@twinkodium helped talk me through this ask so a huge thank you to her <3

gonna put below a cut and include some other asks that aren't necessarily of interest to everyone and are kind of in the same vein (note the tag)

okay so "why not just be friendly like they are with other guys" is a pretty good thing to focus on bc when you actually break it down, Lando and Oscar define themselves as being pretty shy and they conceal a fair amount their lives and closest friends from the public. and truth is that it seems to take both of them at least a year of knowing someone before they open up - and even longer before they're as friendly as we see them with guys like Logan, Zhou, Carlos or Daniel. Lando lists the guys he's known since as far back as karting as his closest friends. so after just one season together, what we already have in terms of friendliness between Lando and Oscar is pretty damn good!

but honestly we can't say that either of them are really holding back at all when we've got Andrea and Zak constantly emphasizing how in sync they are and then of course how big they both show up for each other's wins/poles etc. whatever we don't get in terms of fun fandom content, we've got them showing each other mutual respect and support and sharing the same priorities. that's... really good imo.

it's what cracks me up abt everyone who went all 'planetf1 angry white dad in oakleys selfie in a truck comment section' over that recent Oscar quote. Lando's literally had everyone saying the same thing to him, directly and on social media ?? did they also decide that Martin Brundle, Natalie Pinkham, Lawrence Barretto and Jenson Button all despise Lando and want to take swipes at him by saying that his public flagellation feels of no use and worse, that it's probably a hindrance to his mindset? did Lando suddenly became loathed by all these people who SEEM to openly like or love him bc they said that ??

or did they expect Oscar to respond to that question with "oh no yeah it's cool that my teammate who I actually like shits all over himself and gives his haters ammo y'know to each their own whatever man" bc that WOULD actually be incredibly cold and hurtful asgajsgfljasf

I know fandom can go way off track and start expecting these men to talk like fan fic but the truth is that they view each other as professionals and fellow drivers first and friends (if they are) second. I won't repeat myself bc I've posted about it enough but none of the grid are a significant part of Lando or Oscar's life outside F1. Lando and Martin did a stopover in Perth (and apparently Martin even had work there?) for one day to ride dirt bikes at Daniel's ranch and Lando went to Carlos' sisters' gigantic state wedding lol. doesn't compare at all compared to Lando's time spent with Max F, the quadrant folks, his family, his Monaco friends and definitely not Martin Garrix. it also doesn't mean that they're not still friends with those guys on the grid - it's just not the same.

so the fact that Lando and Oscar aren't out here dishing out bromancey stuff where fans can see and hear definitely doesn't say that those bromances mean the drivers are actually any closer. Oscar relied on extroverts like Robert and Arthur to give him something to play off and Lando relied on Carlos and Daniel for the same. so when they're left without a gobby extrovert they do that cute thing of giggling and handing back and forth to each other. to me personally it's always kind of sweet ?? that Lando and Oscar do the thing of looking at each other for support to get through the cringey and awkward to camera stuff. sometimes when Lando is really feeling himself Oscar can just kick back and watch him. and as we saw w that helmet design video, even when Oscar isn't filming w Lando he hangs around offers support.

wow apparently I cannot stay on track today anon but idk I just personally think that it's the opposite of a mutual fakeout and they've bonded pretty well over both being shy, both being equally focused on their careers and also needing to switch off sometimes. finding out they spent the night after Lando's crash in Vegas together sharing "commiserations" is like, one in a long list of us hearing that they chose to hang out alone together and not publicize it.

all of us are on the outside of their friendship and as much as that suuuuucks for not getting as much content as we want, it's also really sweet and kind more likely to be genuine and lasting since they consider a lot of that relationship as private <3

askgfka no prob!! tbh a lot of the stress and anxiety in other Lando ships is down to ppl getting way too comfy w the idea that real life partners either aren't "real" or that they're the only thing standing in the way of their ship becoming real.

and bc for some reason landoscar makes me want to write all of these essays I feel like it's kind of my responsibility to be like yeah, there's even more than just assuming ppl's sexualities and their real life partners stand between two ppl we like to imagine together actually getting together. rpf is heavy on the f and mostly what we're all actually enjoying are friendships. and as someone who is lucky to have them, I personally wouldn't be one of those ppl who said romantic partners and friendships are on some sliding scale of importance. they're just different!

ever since landoscar became a thing, Lily's been in Oscar's life and Lando's been pursued by every man who sees him and burning through baddies on Raya on a literal global scale. it's important to come back from rpf to that fact so we don't end up attraction those legions of people calling real life girlfriends "PR beards" or that Lando's dating app horniness is some front for him meeting up with Carlos or Daniel or whoever lol.

oh I am so not the person to answer abt this since I can't relate to wanting couples to get married or thinking that it's all that significant! I'm a huge romantic and I theoretically enjoy the idea of weddings/marriage but all the ppl I know who've gotten married out of college are already regretting or cheating it so it's put a real damper on it for me.

but that's as much as I want to speculate abt them bc I don't want to put anything out in the universe for ppl I'll never even know !!