#I'm a broken record about it but

[whatsagirltoblogabout]

The ending to 7x9 made me squawk indignantly. Like, that was so rude /lh. The framing device, both literally and symbolically, of the window just hit so perfectly. Man. They're separated, there's a distance between them, but they're both making the effort to look across that distance and see each other anyway. MY HEART. Juliet is literally twisted around, facing backwards. SHE CARES GODSDAMNIT. She cares more than she wants to, more than she reasonably should, and she says all that and more through the damn BLOCKING. This show is the love of my life.

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Celebrating 200 text posts and 200 followers! 🎉

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] 🎊 17 🎊 [18]

[rinbylin]

friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc

this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)

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I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.

if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.

in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.

this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.

so, back to confucian frameworks.

a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.

as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.

with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.

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the five relational ties in confucianism:

father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son

ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject

older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members

husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)

friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends

logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.

on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.

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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties

mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).

of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.

we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.

ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)

and that brings us to the next part.

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2) how mlc repurposes these ties

that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.

in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)

given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.

(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)

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it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.

speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.

indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.

it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)

of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.

if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.

in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.

llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.

by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.

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then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.

[jamieedlund]

March sketch dump 🧙‍♂️✨

[can-of-slorgs]

caw 🦅

[onesidedradiostatic]

Hi, I found some information regarding Alastor’s romantic orientation/aromantism!

HAZBIN HOTEL Pilot Cast LIVE Panel! (1:03:13)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5ONxBZoR0A&t=3793s

oh yeah I have seen this, realise I hadn't actually fully watched that section before now though

yeah I do think this is more respectful than certain previous statements but I still like don't understand vivzie's insistence on not wanting to confirm alastor's aromanticism, I feel like she's not fully consistent with her logic

like she agreed when one of them pointed out that with every broken heart there's an aspec person out there who appreciates the rep but even after that still went on to say it was "canonical information that might spoil a little bit of fun"

she admits she can't control the fanbase, I also admit I can't control other fans, but that should be precisely why she should just confirm it. she can't control the fanbase anyways they will have their fun anyways no matter what his canonical identity is ANYWAYS just SAY he's aro so we have our rep

[ephemeraljellyfish]

I know I've been going on and on about rhetoric, but I think too many people take what they read at face value. And that's how you wind up uncritically absorbing information that you don't understand, just because it makes you feel some type of way. Usually, an innocuous tumblr post is not always worth interrogating, but when there are accusations of sexual harassment thrown at a specific marginalized group of people, is it not worth interrogating why? Or I dunno, maybe people should actually see what the accused group are actually saying before sweeping judgements are made?

I've seen posts explicitly blaming "transandrophobia truthers" circling. And with the disgusting mass harassment anon, I don't blame people for being outraged at the contents of the ask at all. It was viscerally repulsive. And I think it's more than appropriate to share those feelings of disgust or violation with those who received harassment, but when the message suddenly shifts to "this is all those transandrophobia truthers' faults," you have to ask yourself how did we get here? If you encounter a post discussing REAL transmisogynistic harassment anons and then it takes some leap of unsubstantiated logic where suddenly "transandrophobia truthers" are the main culprits of said transmisogyny from an ANONYMOUS ask, you need to go back and read that post again to see if it makes sense. You need to know the context if you're going to be coming to the same conclusions (in this case: "fuck those transmisogynistic transandrophobia truthers"). Are there really transandrophobia-centered blogs defending or agreeing with the horrid anon? On my end, I don't fucking see any.

People have to ask themselves what others want when they refer to a group of (not even all trans men/masc) queer people as "transandrophobia truthers" or "transandrodorks." Are they purposefully trying to rile you up? Are they trying to make it so so obvious that they're right? Are you nodding along with the confidence with which words are being said or the actual contents? Are there all the correct buzzwords? Do you feel guilty, angry, sad? Is there evidence of said accusations? Is one person's belief acting as a stand-in for a whole group's? Are people really saying that? In those words? What's the context?

I can go on, but you get the idea.

[silentreigns]

Winning more often than finishing P4-P10 is ridiculous like how can you not call him the GOAT

[dreamaze]

Save Giuk 4/� … from uninvited guests on the 'end of spring' mv set (tr. cr.)

[icy-vulpine]

I didn't keep track of how long I worked on chapter 8 of Signals, Space, and Shrimp this time, but it's sitting at 2752 words now. As I would assume you already know, with my usual chapter length of about 5k words that means that I'm about halfway done. <insert generic apology for the wait and thanks for your patience here>

[nikothebookdragon]

how am I supposed to just carry on with my life now like I didn't just watch the most insane competition of all time

(and some of the most memorable programmes)

[after-witch]

w e l p I finally got the rejection letter for the job I interviewed for last week. I wanted it. Badly. And by wanted I mean needed, desperately. It had perfect hours, full health insurance, etc.

I'm just so tired of getting to the interview process and getting the same. damn. rejection. every. time, about not having experience in that specific role and them going with people who had experience in that area.

If that's the issue, why ask for an interview with me at all?? Like. Reject me out of hand if it is that important to the business. I am not going to show up to the interview like "oh yeah I have this experience, just didn't put it on my resume or talk about it in my cover letter." I've even asked for more information about the interview post-rejection and again, I just get the same answers--it was a great interview, I was put together, thoughtful, etc, I just don't have the right experience.

Ugh.

Well!

Good things today:

Got over my brain freeze thanks to the rejection letter so got significant writing done

It's in the 50s and sunny so I went for a walk to daydream with music

I was able to walk to the end of the apartment complex and down the street in the neighborhoods a little bit, which I haven't been able to do because of my foot sprain in October!! Go foot, go.

Since I was able to walk farther, I got to see my favorite tree which has a hole in it, which I have for months made up stories about

Also got to see my favorite 1870s house which is pink and green and looks like a Hansel and Gretel House, and has a big tree stump in front that also elicits story-daydream ideas.

Apartment neighbor's balcony skeleton is still up on December 15th, I love this skeleton

I saw the rarest apartment window cat, a super fluffy orange and white grumpy looking guy

My brother sent me a restaurant gift card for Christmas

My friend sent me a Mahito pin for Christmas and I want to lick it (but I won't)

Applied for a job at a cat-only vet!! Cats!!

[elwolfen]

I'm just always a bitch to everyone apparently and I'm told to go upstairs... certain people wonder why I stay in my room all the time

[wayfinderships]

The day is gonna end soon so I just wanted to say a final thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday <3 Thank you all so so much! You've all really made today so special!

[captainschaos]

pray thee tell, beloved mutual, what is a shadubs?

SHADUBS !!! it is one of my favorite favorite rarepairs with lizzie ldshadowlady and bdubs!!! :D featuring transfem bdubs so it's yuri and also kind of snuggled up in a larger polycule that affects my interpretation of them <3

smth smth they're both very flowery, beauty oriented people who see that in each other and have a very fluffy sort of romance <3 they're both secure in marriages to other people (joel and cleo respectively) so there's very little pressure on it, just a sweet thing for them to recharge their batteries and feel fluffy romance affections :3 they have tea parties, they garden together, that sort of thing

tbh I've been cooking up a fic about them and the last life kill bdubs did on lizzie with heavy wither rose symbolism and ouhhh. maybe I will get it done. I also have a couple shorter ficlets of them that I wasn't going to post but maybe.... maybe

[bandzboy]

hi tris, i just wanted to tell you that your passion and determination (when it comes to helping palestine and opposing zionism) is really inspiring me to be a better person. admittedly i had not been boycotting entirely because i really use my music as a crutch, but i'm going to try harder and at the VERY least decrease my consumption from those labels !! of course i have been helping in other ways (donating, sharing resources with my coworkers, imploring the people close to me to donate and help too), but i could be doing more. with all the backlash i'm sure you and other boycotters are getting i just wanted to send this message along to keep your spirits up :) <3 keep fighting, and i'll keep fighting with you !!!

~annabelle <3

i am glad that i could inspire you to do more! it's kinda hard to sometimes to be optimistic about this whole boycott (because that are still SO many people that oppose it and are disrespectful to those that are trying to do something) but at the end of the day, we are helping a big and greater cause and just trying to get rid of zionism in the industry and for them to not have a platform anymore! we must do this because it will help in the grand scheme of things. being okay with zionism in this industry is being complicit and truly we should not do that and be opposed to it. i love music with all my heart and that's why it hurts me that it is being tainted by these people every day with their awful propaganda and morals. they are still in positions of power and in every nook and cranny of the music industry and as a music listener and as an aspiring musician, i don't want this to be our future! i want people to listen to music without the possibility that they are giving money to zionists! i've been doing the best i can do share information and i'm glad it's getting through people and yes unfortunately there has been backlash in my replies and inbox sometimes but truly i feel like atp nothing will make me stop me from speaking and to do what is right. these people trying to stop others from taking a stand are cowards and quite literally stand for nothing and hate that their comfort is being compromised! i always think about how this is an important step to make things better! things like this take time and a lot of work and i, as well as the other boycotters, are willing go on with this until are wishes are met and everyone should think this way and not get discouraged because new people are joining every day and a lot of great advancements have been made and i believe that if more people join over time, this will end faster and we can go back to supporting artists normally