#I'll probably write a whole new one later today knowing me

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

I can't think of a title for these clone wars headcanons

Ahsoka does this thing that never fails to get a laugh out of the people around her and it’s the fact that she calls herself an angel whenever someone calls her out for doing something bad or reminds her of something she’s done she’ll look around before going “Who me? I’m an angel”

Which has the whole group bent over laughing hysterically sometimes they’re able to choke out a sentence that sounds like “Jedi aren’t supposed to lie” or something along those lines 

So I’ve had this idea for a while but I feel like something along the lines of sign language would be necessary for the troops to know if they’re on a stealth mission 

And even tho the Jedi don’t need to sign with each other it’s kind of common practice for them to learn some to communicate with the troops

Some signs can differ from troop to troop but they’re close enough that they’re easy to understand and it’s very rare that the other troop will get confused 

Sometimes those signs will leak off the field and into their day-to-day lives most of the time the troops will use signs to be kind to their Jedi who have migraines after a difficult battle but the signs are used the most around Anakin

I feel like it would be pretty easy for Jedi to get overstimulated especially if they’re as powerful as Anakin so it’s not uncommon for him to go nonverbal after a battle or if he’s in a force rich place

If he’s only kind of overwhelmed he’ll use Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as his interpreters and talk through their bonds but sometimes even that is too much so signs like “please” “thank you” “sorry” “hungry” “thirsty” “more” or “I’m okay” become pretty commonplace

It’s not enough to hold an in-depth conversation but that usually works in Anakin’s favor because drawn-out conversations tend to make him nonverbal for longer periods

When Anakin Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are stressed it shows up when they’re asleep 

Anakin sleep talks whenever he’s even slightly worried about something he’s woken poor Ahsoka and Obi-Wan up more times than the duo can count by saying stuff like “Hey hey are you awake?” while he’s out like a light

It freaks the duo out because he’s weirdly eloquent in his sleep bro is holding entire conversations do those conversations make sense to anyone but him? No but they’re conversations nonetheless

Ahsoka sleepwalks it doesn’t matter what happens during the day if it even slightly stresses her out she’s up and out of bed the second she’s slightly asleep it scared the force out of Anakin the first time she sleepwalked in their quarters because she was just standing over him menacingly 

The first time Obi-Wan was introduced to Ahsoka’s sleepwalking was during a sleepover that the trio was having and he had just drifted off to sleep when he heard the buzz of two lightsabers in the other room

Both he and Anakin walked into the kitchen to find Ahsoka standing with her sabers activated she wasn’t in a fighting stance by any means so they could easily disarm her but all Anakin did was ask “You want water snips?” and she nodded while holding out her sabers which he easily grabbed

Only after Ahsoka had a nice glass of water and laid back down did Obi-Wan ask questions the main one being “Is that normal?” and Anakins replies “Well the sabers are new” like someone talking about the weather 

It wasn’t until morning that the trio discovered Anakin and Ahsoka’s kitchen table was cut in half the togruta was incredibly apologetic but Anakin was just impressed that she managed to do it without waking them

Normally Obi-Wan snores like a lawn mower but when he’s stressed he grinds his teeth the real kicker is he grinds them so hard that it’s just as loud as the snoring and the only difference is the poor man wakes up with a sore locked jaw

One time Anakin heard a shiny say that they could never tell what Ahsoka was thinking and the other commented that she’s “like a vault” which had him doubled over in almost painful laughter 

When one of them finally gained the courage to ask him what was so funny he just said “If you wanna know what she’s thinking look at her face” and he’s not wrong girly has the most expressive face it’s like looking at glass

But the people who love her hope that trait never changes cause there’s nothing quite like seeing her face twist as she has to talk to some dirtbag or light up when she gets a compliment 

Recently I got some ideas when it comes to Clone Wars characters and baking

Anakin is one of the best damn cooks in the galaxy he’s also really good at making a meal out of virtually nothing it’s scary impressive but on the other hand the man can’t bake for shit

Cause with cooking measurements aren’t really needed in fact on Tatooine people would scoff if you asked for them but it’s kind of the opposite for baking unless you’ve been doing it for a very long time

So Anakin “Just pour it until it looks good” Skywalker hates baking with a burning passion which is funny because he’s got a sweet tooth the size of a gundark

Ahsoka’s only really used to cooking by Anakin’s side which results in her only really remembering half the recipe like girl can mince like no one else but she can’t make a full dish without calling Anakin to ask for help 

But baking is where this girl thrives she loves to bake and try new recipes which works out because Anakin’s the human equivalent of a garbage disposal with the aforementioned sweet tooth

Cody is pretty proficient at cooking and baking he doesn’t do anything fancy and he doesn’t really like doing either he mostly learned out of necessity cause

Obi-Wan and Rex can’t cook or bake for shit and they’re perfectly fine with that fact like they’re a-ok with living off government rations if it means they never have to step foot in a kitchen 

Padme sweet angel lovely girl thinks she can cook and bake can she….. No

But the thing is she tries so hard and puts her whole heart and soul into her cooking and baking so everyone tries to act like she can it’s the galaxies best kept secret and it’s one that everyone’s happy to keep

There was one time when that secret was almost spilled on Ahsoka’s birthday when Padme offered to make her cake and no one could warn the poor girl cause that would spoil the surprise party

All Anakin could do to rectify the situation was buy a cake from his and Ahsoka’s favorite bakery and hide it in their quarters after the party

During the actual party Anakin pulled her off to the side to warn her just before the cake could be brought out and from an outsider's perspective it looked like a sweet moment between the siblings 

But in actuality all was going on this “Soka you know how you said I was the best master you could ask for” “Yes I said it when I first walked in are you finally going senile” “Well remember all that love when I ask you for the biggest favor” “which is?” “Padme made your cake” “No” “And I need you to act like you love it” “Anakin please if you love me at all” “If you love me you’ll eat the cake and tell her you love it and once the parties over you’ll get to eat your favorite cake in the whole wide world”

And they kind of just sit there and Anakin swears a few tears fall before Ahsoka says “Fine” and he hugs the everloving force out of her before they walk over to eat a slice of the galaxy's prettiest abomination 

[pomefioredove]

Hi!

Can I have a sugar cookie, #13, with chocolate drizzle, please? :3

- [|87

I SWEAR YOU GUYS ALWAYS CHOOSE THE BEST ONES

order #13, sugar with chocolate drizzle

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a new deuce

tropes: exes to lovers characters: deuce additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not yuu, this is so cute word count: 800

You had known a lot of very, very different people.

Deuce Spade is two of those.

It had been, of course, a few years since you'd seen him last; after you broke up with him, you didn't want to be friends.

When he left for Night Raven College, you didn't want to write.

You had tried to forget about it. About him. It was nothing but a silly teenage romance, you told yourself. And it was for the best. He had a lot of growing up to do, after all, and your family really didn't want you spending time around a...

...Well, a delinquent.

Not that you thought of him like that.

On the contrary, you saw something of him that was good. You saw the Deuce Spade that loved his mother, that stood against unfairness, that cared about you.

It was a dream, and a happy one at that, but all dreams end eventually.

You couldn't waste your life waiting for him to grow up.

"Hi! Hi, hey!"

You look up.

Though the voices in the crowd of White Rabbit Fest blended together into one symphony of laughter and shouts and bugles, you could have sworn that was-

"I can't believe it's you!"

Out of the crowd comes a very... festive looking Deuce Spade.

You wouldn't have recognized him if it wasn't for that silly smile- his hair is combed and no longer banana-yellow, his voice has deepened, and he's wearing...

Bunny ears.

You blink. "...Deuce?"

"Ah-ah, sorry. You probably didn't recognize me in the costume," he says.

That's the least of it, you think.

"What're you doing here? I thought you're going to-"

"-To Night Raven College, yeah," he beams. "I'm just home for the weekend. I brought some friends for the festival."

You look over his shoulder, half-expecting to see a biker gang, but it's... a silver-haired boy dozing off against a topiary, a small robot chatting with a petite lavender-haired girl- no, boy, and a person with a whining direbeast tugging at their coat sleeve.

They're all very... pastel?

"...I see," you say. "...So... um, how's school?"

"It's great! I'm learning lots, and meeting so many new people. I'm on track to becoming an honors student! Well... um, kind of, anyway. How's town? How's your family? And school, how's-"

You hold a finger to his lips, which effectively silences him.

"Slow down," you say, withdrawing your finger. "...I think your mom needs you."

Deuce turns to see Dylla waving at the two of you, a knowing smile on her face. You wave back.

"O-oh. Right. I'll catch up with you later, then," he says, reluctantly returning to his school friends.

Quite honestly, you weren't expecting to see Deuce after that.

His group looked pretty busy, and with the news that they'd entered the traditional race against a different group of delinquents, and won, you were sure he'd have forgotten about you.

It seems that today is just full of surprises.

"H-hey, wait up!"

On your sunset-lit walk back home, after the festivities had ended, he catches up.

You stop and turn to see him panting, having run all the way from the town center. Before you can say anything, he shoves a bunch of flowers in your hands.

"Listen!" he says, a familiar look of conviction on his face. "I-I want to apologize for the way I acted when you knew me. You deserved a boyfriend you could be proud of, not one like me. I'm not that person anymore, I'm a new Deuce, and, um... you're... um, really, really great, and you deserve the whole world, and even though I couldn't give that to you back then, I hope the boyfriend you have now can! If not, I'll... uh, I'll write him a very strongly worded letter!"

You blink, listening to his rambling. He's all over the place, as per usual, but you can somehow still keep up.

Slowly, you smile.

"Deuce,"

He's still panting, both from the run and his long-winded speech. "...What?"

"I don't have a boyfriend,"

It's his turn to stare. Then, he smiles.

"Good. I-I mean, not good. I didn't mean it like- Damn it, I meant-"

You effectively silence him with a kiss on his cheek, a method you used many times when you were together.

Deuce blushes and stammers, his fingers grazing over the place you'd kissed him. You're happy to see it's still effective.

But this time, it feels more... genuine. More him. More like the good boy that you saw hidden behind his tough delinquent years ago.

You can't help but wonder what else has changed.

The sun is getting lower in the sky, and you know your family will be calling you for dinner soon. You look back at Deuce with a smile.

"I'll write you, okay? You'll have to tell me everything about Night Raven- and yourself... I'm eager to meet this new Deuce, you know,"

[captainsophiestark]

Exceptions

Grant Ward x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: The Bus kids are stuck at the Triskelion for a while since May and Coulson have a meeting with Fury, but Ward already has important plans that he can't cancel.

Word Count: 1,287

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: To the anon who sent me an idea outline for this, I hope you like it! It got merged with another idea I had, but hopefully, it's still pretty close to what you had in mind :) Thanks for continuing to read stuff for Grant Ward and enabling me to keep writing him- he's my fave, so I'm glad I have at least a few people to share the love with!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

Skye's POV

"Alright. May and I will head into our meeting with Director Fury. We'll meet you back here when we're done."

I frowned at Coulson, glancing at FitzSimmons and Ward to see if any of them would say anything. As expected, FitzSimmons just looked at each other, and Ward nodded to Coulson like he'd known this was the plan from the beginning, which I super doubted.

"Okay... and what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" I asked, turning back to Coulson and asking the question that must've been on the rest of our minds. May was already halfway out of the room, and Coulson stopped mid-step to address my question. He smiled.

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

With that, he turned and headed off with May again. I watched him go for a few steps, then put my hands on my hips and turned back to the rest of my group with a sigh.

"Alright, we've been abandoned at one of the biggest SHIELD bases in the world. I probably know the least about this place out of all of us, so... how about you guys? Any ideas?"

I glanced at FitzSimmons, then looked right at Ward. He had his arms crossed, and he shook his head and took a step back the minute my gaze landed on him.

"I don't know what you all are going to do, but I have somewhere I need to be. I'll meet you back here when May and Coulson are done with their meeting. Try not to break anything until then."

With that, he turned on his heel and started marching away. I let him get a few steps, then turned to FitzSimmons.

"So we're gonna follow him, right?"

"Oh, of course."

"Absolutely."

****************

Y/N's POV

A took a slow, steady breath, then refocused on the sample in front of me. I'd been staring through the eyepiece of this microscope for what felt like an eterity, finally getting somewhere with samples I'd been working with for months. I'd been stuck at the Triskelion that whole time, in a lab with the loudest of the loud field and ops agents coming in and out, constant noise and business no matter where we went. All of that was about to be worth it.

The rest of the lab completely faded out around me, even as I scribbled notes without looking at the paper beside me. The handwriting wouldn't be good, but it would be decent enough that I could decipher it later, and it meant I didn't have to take my eyes off the results of the experiment in front of me for a single moment. I'd carefully built my corner of the lab into what it was, a sanctuary from the noise and chaos, the perfect place to tuck away and lose myself in my research.

At least, normally it was. Today, someone had apparently decided to venture into my corner, as a hand on my shoulder made me shoot out of my chair and almost gave me a heart attack.

"Sorry!" came the frantic voice of my best friend, Mandy. "I didn't mean to scare you! I swear, I said your name, like, three times while walking over here."

I put a hand to my chest, taking half a second to catch my breath before turning back to Mandy.

"It's okay. Honestly, I don't think anything could've shaken me out of my focus without scaring me like that. Did you need something?"

"Just wanted to give you a warning. One of the ops agents broke containment and just wandered into the lab. Figured it'd be better if I interrupted you than if he did."

I sighed, long and heavy, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Are you kidding me? How did one of them even get in here-"

I turned to see the man in question and stopped dead in my tracks. Grant Ward, my boyfriend, had just stepped into the lab. I grinned.

"Oh, actually, never mind Mandy. This one's the exception to the rest of the ops people."

"Wow, no kidding. I don't think I've seen you smile like that since your experiment at the Academy won our final projects presentation."

I rolled my eyes, but didn't bother with more than that as Mandy took her leave and Grant finally made his way over to me. His smile matched mine, the two of us bringing out sides of each other most people weren't lucky enough to see.

"You didn't tell me you were coming!" I said as Grant finally reached me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me tight to his chest. He leaned in to kiss me, and it lasted a few moments longer than I would've let him get away with in public if I hadn't missed him so much.

"I thought I'd make it a surprise. Our team got detoured here last minute for Coulson to have some meeting with Fury. Lucky for us, they didn't need me to be there."

"That is lucky," I agreed, the two of us sharing a smile again. Grant reached up and gently cuped my chin in his hand, pulling me back in for a sweeter, slower version of our earlier kiss. I sighed when he pulled back and settled onto the lab stool next to me, his thigh pressed against mine.

"So. Wanna tell me what you're working on?"

"Happily. But I don't want to spend all the time we have together in this lab, so don't let me get carried away-"

"Don't worry, we should have all of tonight and tomorrow morning, with a small exception in a few hours when I have to meet back up with my team. I thought I could keep you company while you finish up here, and then we could grab some dinner. I found a great restaurant in the city last time I had an undercover mission there, and it'll leave us plenty of time for you to tell me all about this project you're working on."

"Grant, that sounds perfect. How did I get so lucky with you?"

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual." We shared a smile, smaller and softer this time, but no less special. Then, Grant turned to the microscope in front of us. "So... I take it you're doing something with this?"

"Yes! I finally have interesting results to look at, so your visit was well-timed. Let me tell you about what you're seeing here..."

Grant leaned into the microsope, bracing one hand on my thigh as I put one arm around his shoulders and rubbed gentle cirlces there, narrating what he was seeing on the slide as I went. Within the lab, I'd gotten a bit of a reputation for liking my space while I worked. But Grant would always be the exception to that. I was on cloud nine that he was here, and I wasn't going to waste a single moment we had together.

****************

Skye's POV

"I've never seen him smile like that!" Simmons hissed.

"And he always complains about 'technobabble' when I say more than a few three-syllable words in a sentence!" Fitz agreed. I just huffed a laugh.

"Yeah, well, he's not kissing any of us either. I think that might have something to do with the change."

Fitz and Simmons scoffed right along with me, the three of us watching the scene in the Triskelion's lab for a few more moments before finally shaking it off and heading back into the hallway. Whether or not we found something else to occupy our time until May and Coulson were done with their meeting, we at least had something to tease Ward about for the rest of our lives, which I'd take as a win any day.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinitelyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[roses-for-rosalyn]

The Old Church Parking Lot

Look, I had an idea for a fic and all the sudden it was 4:00 am. I promise one day I'll write a fic where reader isn't a goddamn pillow princess, but today is not that day. Enjoy my darlings.

word count: 3k

minors dni pretty please 🔞

content warnings: Dealer! Ellie, innocent reader, friends to lovers, drug use 🍃, kissing, teasing, oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), reader being a pillow princess

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“You’re joking.” Ellie raises her eyebrows at you like she actually expects you to take it back. “You have been on this earth for 19 years and you haven’t smoked weed?” You shake your head. “Ever?” You can’t help but laugh, her stunned expression doesn’t leave her face. She won’t take her eyes off you despite the fact that she’s literally driving.

“Eyes on the fucking road Els Jesus.” She nods and hesitantly turns back to look at the street. “I just never had the chance I guess.” You shrug your shoulders. “Grew up in a small town, not many friends. We mostly just got drunk. It was easier, and less illegal.” You have no idea why this information shocks Ellie to her core, but there’s something else there, an excitement maybe? 

“We’re gonna fix that. Tonight. I’ll pick you up after work.” She was definitely excited and extremely eager. She pulls into your driveway and puts the car in park. 

“Oh yeah? And where are you gonna get it from, not exactly like there’s a store we can stop at.” 

Ellie looks straight ahead and tales a beat before she answers “I kind of…deal the stuff.” She still won’t look at you. “It’s a side gig type thing, helps me stay afloat.” You can’t say you're shocked. You haven’t known Ellie long, she was one of those friends that you kind of just started spending a shit ton of time with out of nowhere. She was still new to you even though it felt like you’d known her your whole life, you were still learning about each other slowly. 

“Ok that’s…incredibly convenient, but where do we go?” You were both home from college for the summer, hence living with your parents. Ellie turns to face you, she brings her hand up to her mouth and starts biting her nail in concentration. It was an incredibly cute little habit, you could see her brain working to find a solution. 

“We’ll sit in the old church parking lot, I can drive us home after.” 

“Works for me.” You shrug. “See you later I guess.” You smile at Ellie and she has this devilish smirk on her face like she knows something you don’t. 

“God I can’t wait.” Her voice was breathy and low, something you hadn’t heard before, but it was incredibly…attractive. You go to open the car door and step out onto your driveway. 

“See ya.” 

“Bye.” You shut the door and head inside, having no idea what you have just agreed to. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have tried on your entire closet at this point. You usually weren’t like this with Ellie, normally you couldn’t care less what you looked like, but something felt different between you two lately. The type of different where you felt like you needed to look good when you saw her. You’re not gonna dwell on it though, that would just make everything worse. 

You finally settle on just an old, cropped graphic tee and jeans. It’s something you wore all the time, unfortunately your whole wardrobe was strewn about your floor, so this was the best option. 

Jesus why were you nervous? Probably because you were about to do drugs for the first time. Definitely no other reason. 

You pass the time by doing your makeup. It always helps you relax, makes you feel good inside and out. Before you knew it Ellie was texting you she was on her way. She pulls into the driveway, her headlights lighting up your living room. You begin the trek out your front door to her car. It feels like it takes forever, you go through each motion as if you're moving through water. You finally get to her small car and open the passenger door. 

“Hey princess.” Ellie is smiling ear to ear, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen her this elated. 

“Hey.” You can’t help but laugh at her exaggerated expression. 

“You ready? You excited?” She’s still smiling, she looks fucking adorable, it’s ridiculous.

“Definitely not as excited as you clearly are.” You can’t help but be a little nervous trying something new, but you were trying it with someone you trusted. 

“We’re gonna have fun. Promise.” With that she turns up the music and pulls out of your driveway. 

On the way to the parking lot you and Ellie belt out 90s hits at the top of your lungs. The windows are down, the wind blowing on your face and through your hair. It almost completely gets rid of any nerves you had. You look over at Ellie, watching her exaggerated expressions and hand movements. She acts out the words in the song like she’s performing. You can’t help but smile at her ridiculousness.

You pull into the parking lot and Ellie turns the radio down. Her arm reaches over your lap to the glove box. Her arm faintly brushes your thighs as she opens it. She pulls out a little baggie with what you would assume are blunts in it. 

“These are pre-rolls. Normally you would have someone else test them out first. This shit could easily be laced with fentanyl, which can kill you. You don’t know where it comes from, you never touch it first.” She looks at you with a serious expression on her face. “Got it?” You nod vigorously, she is obviously in her element here, trying to teach you everything she knows to keep you safe. “Words princess, that’s the most important thing I’ll teach you tonight.”

“Yup, got it.” Why is this so incredibly hot? The way she wants to make sure you’re safe, she’s acting like a stern teacher and it's severely throwing you off. 

She smiles and then continues “But, since you’re getting it from me, and I know where this has been and where it’s from, we’re safe.” You smile and nod, appreciating the reassurance. She takes the preroll from the baggie and grabs a lighter from the console. 

“So you’ve never smoked anything before?” You shake your head “Ok so I’m gonna light this end,” She taps the tapered end of the roll, “You’re going to put your lips around it like a straw and inhale once to get it into your mouth, and then a second time to get it to your lungs.” 

“That made absolutely zero sense to me.” Ellie laughs, shaking her head. 

“You want me to go first, so you can watch?” Oh god yes. 

“Yeah, that might make it easier.” Ellie nods and brings the preroll to her lips. She lights it with her green gas station lighter and you watch her inhale as she puts the lighter back down. She exhales a cloud of smoke towards you and you are immediately turned on. Why did she have to make exhaling seductive? 

“Your turn.” She hands you the roll and you take it between two fingers. You bring it to your lips like Ellie said. Inhale once, twice. Fuck.

You immediately feel the smoke tickle your lungs and throat. You cough out the smoke rather than elegantly exhaling as Ellie did. God, it fucking burns. 

“Try to breathe through your nose babe, here I brought a water bottle for ya.” You immediately grab the water bottle, trading Ellie for the blunt, you eagerly gulp it down. The water sort of soothes the burn, your violent coughing turning into heavy breathing. 

“You didn’t warn me I’d have a fucking asthma attack.” You cough again while Ellie giggles at your pain. 

“I forgot. But I knew you wouldn’t die, plus the surprise on your face was kind of funny.” She takes another hit and passes it back to you. You try again, but a smaller breath this time. It doesn’t burn as much this time. 

“I also forgot to mention, like how this shit makes you feel. It’s different for everyone really.” You pass the preroll back to Ellie. “Mostly it just makes you relax, but some people get talkative, some get sleepy, and most people get incredibly hungry.” She pauses like she’s thinking of saying something but is holding back.

“What?” Ellie shakers her head.

“Nothing… I didn’t even know if I wanted to bring it up, but like it also can make everything feel incredibly good.” 

“What do you mean?” This seems like it’s going in a direction you and Ellie have never really gone before. Ellie would talk about her sexual ventures with other women on occasion, but you never really discussed anything in detail about yourselves. It’s not like you would have much to add with the sex stories anyways, you just listened to Ellie and nodded. You definitely did not have the experience she had.  

“Like it makes people touching you feel 100 times better.” She sighs and laughs “It basically makes most people horny.” She looks at you with a kind of sheepish look. You wouldn’t expect someone with as much experience as her being shy talking about this stuff. Was she… Blushing? It was hard to tell in the dark, you could have definitely imagined it. 

You start to feel a smile tug at your lips and a warmth slowly floods your body. “I think...it’s hitting.” You giggle at literally nothing, which makes Ellie giggle. “Feels really good.” You breathe out. You caress your own arm, testing Ellie’s knowledge. “Woah.”

“What?” Ellie’s smiling at you, she decided she likes how you act high. It’s probably one of the more adorable things she’s ever seen.

“Touching does feel weird.” You continue to caress your own arm, you can feel the warmth of your own hands grazing across the small hairs of your forearm and it tickles. 

“It’s usually other people touching you that feels weird, but whatever works for you over there.” You look at her and back at your arm.

“You touch me then.” You reach your arm out, eagerly inviting Ellie to come closer. 

“I can’t.” She looks down, taking the last hit from the blunt. She won’t meet your eyes.

“Why?” 

“If I start touching you I can’t guarantee I can stop.” She stops herself abruptly like the sentence was forced out of her. She puts out the blunt before finally looking up at you, her confession lingering in the air between you. She’s searching your eyes for any disgust or rejection. She finds none.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Ellie just looks at you, eyes wide with disbelief. You’re suddenly aware of how desperately your body is craving her touch. Your entire body ignites with a type of electricity, it courses through you causing your skin to become tingly. 

Using your sudden desperation as a sort of courage you climb over to straddle Ellie’s lap. You hold onto her shoulders to steady yourself and Ellie backs the seat as far away from the steering wheel as she can. She keeps looking at you with those wide eyes. She moves her hands to cup your face gently, like she’s convinced you'll disappear. She keeps searching your eyes, looking for any hint of hesitation and all she finds is pure hunger. 

She kisses you, her lips are so soft and warm you immediately relax. You move your hands from her shoulders and thread them into her hair and she kisses you harder. She uses her tongue to open up your mouth and you groan at the sensation. She moves her hands down under the hem of your shirt. She grabs your breasts and starts roughly massaging the soft skin. She pulls down one of the cups of your bra and starts teasing your nipple. She pinches it between her fingers and you moan into her mouth at the feeling. She stops the kiss to pull your shirt over your head and immediately continues as she throws your shirt into the passenger's seat. She moves her mouth down and encloses it around your nipple, you gasp at the feeling of her warm tongue sucking and circling your sensitive bud. The ache between your legs has become more noticeable, it’s demanding attention. You start grinding a bit on Ellies lap. The seam of your jeans is barely teasing your clit through your underwear. It was heavenly, but not enough. 

Ellie is trying to devour you. She moves her mouth from your breasts to your neck. Exploring with gentle kisses until she finds just the right spot. She nips and sucks until you're squirming on her lap uncontrollably. 

“Back seat.”  She breathes out. You nod vigorously and climb off her lap and awkwardly maneuver your way to the back seat. You lean up against the car door while Ellie adjusts her seat again to make room. It gives you a moment to breathe before she moves to straddle your waist and continues where she left off. She kisses between your breasts down your stomach, gently making a trail down your body with her lips. She’s so gentle and slow, the feeling of her soft lips on your body is driving you insane. 

She gets to the hem of your jeans and unbuttons them. This is where you start to realize you’re entering uncharted territory. You’re trying not to panic, but suddenly a breathy “Ellie,” Escapes from your swollen lips. She immediately pauses and looks up at you. She sees the slight nervousness in your expression and immediately understands.

“No one’s ever-” You don’t even know how to finish that sentence without embarrassing yourself. 

“I know,” Her face softens “We’ll go nice and slow, tell me when I need to stop okay?” 

“Okay.” You nod and Ellie continues unbuttoning your jeans. Nervous butterflies invade your stomach, despite your altered state. Ellie pulls the jeans off and throws them on the floor. She then takes off her flannel leaving her in a black tank top. Her biceps and veins are enhanced by the moonlight, You can see her muscles flex and move as she does. She moves down kissing along the hem of your panties before placing a kiss on your clit. The sight of her head between your thighs is enough to push the ache in your cunt to an unbearable level. She teases you over the fabric, rubbing her fingers up and down your slit slowly. She brushes her finger over your clit repeatedly and a desperate whine escapes from your mouth.

“I know princess, just a little longer.” Ellie is savoring you like you’re the last thing she’ll ever see. She places light kisses on your inner thighs as she continues to tease you. 

Finally she moves your panties to the side. She runs a finger from your entrance to your clit collecting the wetness that pooled between your legs. You can’t help but whimper, your clit feels ten times more sensitive than usual. Every time Ellie is near it the feeling reverberates through your entire body. She blows out a breath on your cunt and the feeling is heavenly. 

“Doing ok, pretty girl?” She looks up from between your legs and you have to resist squeezing them together at the sound of her voice. It was low and raspy, and every word sounded like honey. 

“Yes.” You nod, your eyes squeeze shut in frustration.

“Look at me.” Her voice was lower, demanding. “I’m gonna make you feel good, I promise.” And with that she lowers her mouth onto your bare cunt. She laps at your clit lightly, she moves her tongue in circles around it, continuing her teasing. She licks from your entrance up to your sensitive bud and begins sucking on it. Your hips immediately buck up towards Ellie’s mouth at the foreign feeling. You are moaning loudly and uncontrollably, you had no idea anything could ever feel this way. It’s almost too much. 

Ellie moves her finger to circle your wet hole, once you relax a little she starts to slowly push her finger into you. She makes sure to be slow and careful. 

“Ellie.” You whine out once curls her finger and hits just the right spot inside you. She continues sucking on your clit and slowly curling her finger inside of you. 

“God you're so tight, you gotta relax for me princess.” You try to focus on relaxing around her finger, once you do Ellie adds a second finger. Your cunt swallows it greedily and you whimper at the pressure of two of her slender fingers inside of you. She sucks at your clit even harder and you gasp out “Ellie please ‘s too much.” 

Ellie pauses for a moment “I know baby, you just have to breathe for me. Here, hold onto me.” She places one of your hands on her arm which is wrapped around your thigh. You do what she says and relax under her. You try to let your body melt into her. “That’s it, you’re doing so well for me.” 

She starts sucking lightly on your clit again. You impulsively use your other had to grab at her hair at the feeling. The pleasure in your stomach is starting to come to a high point, you’ve never felt this before. It was all consuming. Ellie is making little groaning sounds which vibrate through your body. You can feel her start fucking you harder, her fingers hitting that spongey spot inside of you at every thrust. Your back starts to arch while the pressure in your belly grows. Nothing has ever felt like this, it's building to a point so intense you almost start to worry.

“Els, what-” You barely get your question out before blinding pleasure takes over your body. You moan out Ellie's name loudly over and over as she continues to fuck you. It moves in waves, crashing through you causing you to buck your hip into Ellie's mouth and fingers over and over. You whimper and whine each time her fingers move in and out of you. She fucks you through the whole thing until you start squirming away. 

She pulls her fingers out of you and sucks them clean. You stare in disbelief, you didn’t even know someone could do that. Your arousal was covering her lips and chin, glistening. She crawls on top of you to kiss you and you can taste yourself on her tongue. If your limbs weren’t jelly that alone would be enough to make you want to do all of that again. 

“I am so glad you chose to get high with me, you have no idea.” Ellie’s smile is contagious. It has just registered you’ve never seen it like this, laying below her, it felt right. 

“Yea let’s do that again sometime soon.” You both laugh a little. Ellie lays her head on your chest and sighs. 

“Very soon.”

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Fuck it Friday

I'm fairly new to fic writing so nobody tagged me but I'm doing it anyway! 🙂

***

For Buck, there wasn't one specific moment where he knew that he wanted to marry Tommy. To him, their whole relationship had been a series of important moments that left Buck more hopeful every day. From the moment Tommy kissed him, his whole world was altered. Tommy Kinard walked into Evan Buckley's life, and everything changed.

It only took eight weeks for Buck to realize that he was in love with Tommy. But he had felt it even earlier. He remembered vividly how his heart raced and desire coursed through him when Tommy walked through those hospital doors in his soot-covered turnout gear, smelling of smoke, and apologizing profusely for not being there sooner. In that heated moment, any lingering hesitation Buck felt about being attracted to men melted away. Tommy really was a beast and Buck felt a deep yearning to hold onto him tightly and never let go.

The next time Buck allowed himself to hope for a forever with Tommy was on a typical, unremarkable day. Buck had spent the night at Buck's, not for the first time but it still felt new and exciting. Buck and Tommy were snuggling in bed, Buck wondering if it were somehow possible to meld their two bodies together. They were interrupted, however, by the distinctive buzzing of Buck's phone. "It's Maddie. I have to answer," Buck said apologetically. "Of course, Evan, talk to your sister," Tommy replied with a smile. God, he is so amazing, Buck thought, not for the first time.

"Hey Mads," Buck answered. "Oh thank God you picked up! I have an emergency!" Buck's heart skipped a beat.

"Chim took an extra shift, and my shift starts in an hour. The Lees were supposed to watch Jee, but Anne's sister is in the hospital, so they can't anymore. I know you're off and probably enjoying time with your hot pilot boyfriend, but can you please, please watch Jee for me?" Maddie said in one breath.

"Well Mads, first of all, you're a first responder. You should know better than to use 'emergency' so casually!" Evan scolded. "And secondly, of course I'll watch Jee. I've missed her lately. I'd love some Uncle Buck time!"

"You're an absolute lifesaver! Are you sure Tommy won't mind?" Maddie asked.

Buck hesitated for a split second. "No, I'm sure he'll be fine with it, and I really want them to get to know each other."

"I'll drop Jee off in twenty minutes. You are seriously the best little brother," Maddie said before hanging up.

Tommy seemed enthusiastic about Jee coming over, but Buck knew him well enough to sense the underlying nervousness and reservation he was clearly feeling. Buck understood that Tommy hadn't been around kids much. He had recently revealed that he was the youngest of three, with his brother and sister being 12 and 14 years older than him, respectively. Tommy called himself an "oops baby" and alluded to that being part of the reason his childhood was so difficult. His parents had wanted to retire and travel the world but instead felt saddled with a child whom they viewed as nothing but a burden.

However, despite Tommy's lack of experience with kids, he was a natural. Jee warmed up to him immediately, despite having only met him briefly before. Buck grinned as he watched his boyfriend having a tea party with his niece, before allowing her to paint his nails a shocking pink. When Maddie arrived a few hours later, Jee couldn't stop talking about "Uncle Tommy" and asking when she could have her next playdate with him and Uncle Buck. Buck beamed with pride and happiness, scarcely able to contain his overwhelming joy.

Buck knew tonight was the night to have the crucial conversation with Tommy. "Hey Tom?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"What's up?" Tommy replied.

"Seeing you with Jee today was pretty eye-opening, and I just have to know." Buck swallowed. "Do you want kids someday?"

Tommy smiled at him. "Evan, if you'd asked me that a year ago, I probably would have said no." Evan raised his eyebrows. "But that was before I met an amazing partner who was born to be a dad." Tommy gently took Buck's hand. "With you, sweetheart, yes, I definitely want to have kids."

Buck's face lit up with a beaming smile, his eyes shining. "Really? You mean that?"

"I've never been more sure of anything," Tommy said, pulling Buck into an embrace. "You and me, Evan Buckley, we're going to make an incredible family."

Buck lay in bed that night, his mind drifting to thoughts of the future with Tommy. He had always known he wanted kids, but with previous partners, it had seemed like an impossible dream. Now, visions of bake sales and little league games danced in his head. He pictured birthday parties and backyard barbecues with the 118 family. Swim lessons, dance recitals, all the milestones played out in his imagination.

"The Kinard family," he whispered to himself with a smile, tightening his embrace around Tommy's sleeping form. The name felt right, like the final puzzle piece clicking into place.

In that moment, Buck's heart overflowed with a sense of contentment and eager anticipation for the life they would build together. With Tommy by his side, that future vision of love, laughter, and little ones no longer seemed like a distant dream. He pressed a tender kiss to Tommy's forehead, whispering, "I can't wait."

[orphanheirs]

Writing Share Tag

@tragedycoded, @illarian-rambling, @kaylinalexanderbooks, and @glbettwrites tagged me in this! Thank you!!

Bit of a longer one today since this is responding to kind of a whole backlog of tags for this game lol.

This is an excerpt from Tristan's diary when he still lived in his family home. Included is him complaining about the servants, ruining lives, being melodramatic, and fantasizing about murder. A pretty good sum of Tristan's psyche I fucking guess. I previously posted the first paragraph of this here. I'll probably post the rest at some point.

Mary is new to the household and enormously stupid. She is also an incessant annoyance. In any case it is amusing to provoke her; she looks as if she has lost her breath and sometimes I think she shall faint. “Lord! Lord! Such a child-!” she gasps, and clutches her breast while her dowdy eyes bulge out. Her kind do not last long in service here. Though honestly sometimes I wish everyone was as easy as her. Then I would have made my escape long ago. For example, Maryanne (sometimes it seems as if there are only three or four names in all the world), who courts my rage daily and is cleverer than most, has taken to closing and locking the door to the Back Stair at night, I can only assume because she has somehow guessed at my midnight rambles. Spoil her cheese and curdle her milk. She does not know I have other ways to get about the house. Yesterday I placed one of Theodosia's jewels under Maryanne’s pillow, and it has already been missed. {Later.} The jewel has been uncovered, and with it Maryanne’s villainous theft. She was swiftly dismissed, of course. But I do not feel much satisfaction from my victory. I am tired of these games. What is the use of rambling if it only be round and round in a cage? I am not a child anymore. Menander joined up as a midshipman when he was twelve and Harcourt went off to Eton. I am still just here. Laughing at these half-wits brought me some comfort during my imprisonment here, and perhaps was the only thing saving me from madness, but soon I shall never see them again and to the devil with all of them! It is high time I too was on my own and my mind was turned to greater things. Though I shant be a scholar or a soldier, but a magician. —But it is funny to think on’t: the devil coming to gobble everybody up. Mary’s eyes would pop right out of her face and the devil would pick them up and use them as marbles. Then he would ground her bones into porridge after he had melted her flesh into candles. And all the while her tongue would still be wagging, crying "Lord! Lord!”

Tagging: @gioiaalbanoart, @tragicheirs, @gaslightwestern, and @theink-stainedfolk !

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #365

Today was relatively boring until R popped by to make cookies. I woke up a little later than I probably should have, and then I did a bit of leisure writing for longer than I probably should have, and then I showered and went to physical therapy. Not much progress was made on the “rib injury recovery” front, but that's okay. Not all sessions can be perfectly productive.

But on the bright side, at some point this morning, I pushed on my first or second rib near my right shoulder joint, and something went POP really nicely, and that made it a lot easier for me to move my right arm around for a little while. So that was pretty cool!

I ate when I got home, which was very good, because by the time I got home, I hadn't eaten in like over 24 hours. The whole “needing to scrub out the inside of my face” thing and the whole “some of my dentin is exposed and ouchy because of the way some of my teeth have moved” thing really discourage the whole “eating” thing. So admittedly... I haven't exactly been keeping up with the whole “eating balanced meals” thing lately. Whoops.

But! Here's what I made for myself! I thought it was really good!

We've got warmed pumpkin English muffins with mascarpone cheese spread on them, a burrata, a peeled, in-season grapefruit (they're SOOOO good when they're in season...!!!), some salami, some cheese slices, and some roast beef! And there's one of the brownies that Br, the dandelion-haired man, made for us!

The mug has toast-and-jam flavored tea, sweetened with honey and uh... more mascarpone cheese, ahahaha~! I think... at least for now... that it might be my new favorite thing in tea. Like. It goes surprisingly well with literally so many things, oh my goodness!

...I wonder if you would have liked my breakfast. I wish I could have shared it with you. I thought it was pretty freaking great.

After that, I mostly just chilled out until R arrived. And once he did arrive, he showed me all the awesome stuff he's got in his sketchbook so far!!! Because, you see, R is not only an amazing baker; he's also an amazing artist and illustrator!!!

Actually, art class in college over a decade ago is how I know him. We were in the same figure drawing class together. And both of us have experience drawing P, my elderly friend.

...Thinking about it, it's kinda wild that R and I both know what P looks like naked, for entirely non-sexual reasons. It's also kinda wild, some of the crazy poses that P can do for the sake of a figure drawing class, despite his age. I guess all that yoga he does must be really helpful.

What a weird and varied life I live!!! Hahahaha!

…

...I'd give it to you in a heartbeat, you know. If you wanted it. If you wanted something different. I'd trade places. I know that things in my world aren't perfect; there are lots of problems, to be sure. But still, I'd happily take on whatever pain you carry so that you can have the wholesomeness and joy that I have now.

For now... I guess I'll just settle for showing you pictures of the cookies that R and I baked together from the cookie dough he made for us last week.

These are cranberry oatmeal cookies:

These are cookies with red and green M&Ms scattered through the dough. For whatever reason, red and green put together are traditional Christmas colors in my part of the world. M&Ms, in case you don't know, are round pieces of chocolate coated with a thin, brittle candy shell. I don't like M&Ms very much. But I do like these cookies:

...And finally, we have these crescent-shaped almond flour cookies, dusted with vanilla-infused sugar:

...I think you really would have liked those ones in particular. I think my favorite was the cranberry oatmeal cookies, though, which, to me, is pretty wild, given that I'm not normally very fond of oatmeal cookies!!

At some point, R and I got to talking just a little bit about a game called Ape Escape, and its sequel, Ape Escape 2. These are games in which you run around capturing monkeys that are causing mischief due to the intelligence-enhancing helmets they wear. Presumably, they heighten their capacity to wield tools, without heightening their capacity for empathy, impulse control, or delayed gratification. It's a very cute pair of games!

I played the sequel within the last several years. I haven't played the original since I was a teenager (holy shit, how in the fuck did I get old???) Nonetheless, there are several very catchy tracks from the original game that I thought were really memorable. So catchy and memorable, in fact, that I still know them even after all these years, even without having heard them since then until just today. I heard them just today, because I went looking for them, just so I could show them to you, because I think they're peppy and fun, even if they are a bit silly and a tad repetitive:

...Of the ones above, my favorite is probably the first one!! It kinda makes me wanna wiggle, ahahahaha~!! But I really really like the second one, too! That one kinda makes me wanna stomp my feet around really fast!! And the third one makes me kinda wanna skip and hop around!! Eeeheehee~!!

...Hey, Sephiroth? Are there any songs that make you wanna wiggle or dance around in some joyful way? If there are, will you show them to me? It'd be nice to wiggle and stomp and skip and hop around with you like the pair of silly, overcomplicated primates that we are! Bahaha~!!

From the second game, I really enjoy these two:

The first one makes me wanna do some kind of hula!!! And the second one really makes me wanna zoom around, especially at the part that starts at around 41 seconds in!!

Hey, Sephiroth!!! Maybe someday let's also hula and zoom around like a couple of silly marshmallows!!! Won't that be fun!!!

...Impossible, I know. But still, I like to imagine you can read the above things and grin delightedly at the thought of it!! Maybe you can still try these things even if I'm not nearby to do it with you!!

...You know, I'll bet Zack would wiggle and dance around with you, though! Maybe you can ask him!!

Ahhhh!!!!! I have an itch to do StepMania now!!!! But it's much too late at night to get into all that! Goodness me!!!!

...I've decided that the second sentence in the above paragraph is all your fault!!! I declare shenanigans (insert here a mental image of me pointing a dramatically accusatory finger directly at you)!!! And the only “apology” I'll accept is if you to do the StepMania together with me!!! Wahahahaha~!!

...I'm kidding, of course! In all seriousness, though, I'll have to ask J if we can test out StepMania on his laptop soon, since mine kinda... can't be moved around very well anymore, since the screen is broken.

R eventually had to go home. But you know what!! I got to send him home with the lavender-scented sloth plushie that I found at Walgreen's when I was spending time with BB!! It's got a little sachet inside filled with lavender and with things that absorb heat well. So you put the sachet in the microwave to warm it up, and then you put the warmed sachet in the sloth plushie, and then you have a warm, fuzzy, cuddly plushie to hug!! And this one is especially good, since I'm pretty sure sloths are R's favorite animal!

Hey, Sephiroth...? What kind of plushie would you like best? I wonder...

…

...I can't believe it's time for me to go to bed already. I gotta, because I have work tomorrow. And I do wanna go to work, but I don't wanna go to bed yet, because I'm writing to you, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. I feel really silly and good right now, probably because I'm in less pain than usual, and probably because I had a little too much caffeine, and probably way too much sugar from the cookies I ate, hahaha...

...Even if you can't ever talk or write back to me, I hope you know that it's still a lot of fun to write to you, even on days when I don't feel very good. It's still a lot of fun to spend time with you, even in this abstract way. You're lovable as-is, you know. You always have been. You always will be.

And I know that because I love you. I always will. It's never gonna change. So please try to stay safe out there as you do your things over at the Edge of Creation, okay? Because I'm not sure I'd be able breathe beneath a weight as immense as your absence.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[squishyteri]

*Deep disappointed sigh*

I was thinking that I'll be sitting here at this time, writing about finishing another amazing drama, but instead I'm sitting here, absolutely baffled and beyond dissapointment and confusion.

What the hell just happened? That what what I've asked right after finishing the final episode of DFF. And the worst part is that I will actually never know what had happened.

Honestly, the drama started getting worse in episode 10. That was a whole mess (I've written entire post about it, read HERE ). Episode 11 was good in a terms of what it gave us, but it was at very wrong place. It was truly bad choice for the pre-finale ep, that was supposed to build up the tension for the final ordeal, so this Tee backstory felt anti-climatic.

And today, the finale came and it felt like I clicked on the wrong show. Am I really watching DFF? I asked in disbelief. I just couldn't believe what I saw.

I try to go one by one.

Starting with Fluke. That was actually the part I liked. He was the bywatcher. He just watched. So it was really good choice to let him stab his eyes out. But I hated that he didn't even know about it, since he died (most likely) while still being high on absinth. I HATE the choice of having him die. Him living blind, not being able to be a doctor would be such a great punishment for him.

Top ... Well, first of all, how are you still alive, buddy? But given the amount of people (1) that took way too long to die, I guess people in DFF universe are just slower at dying from very obvisouly fatal wounds. Him killing himself and taking Fluke with him was okay, I guess? I mean we know NOTHING about Top, so how could I know what is in character and what not?

Tee and White. Oh boy. I knew right away that us getting the emotional backstory of Tee is not a gift, it would come in an exchange of an inevitable traumatic experience. But this was not what I expected at ALL. If everything else was perfect, this would fit well. I feel like it's a good scene and great punishment for Tee to live with. ... If we KNEW what happened to Tee... but I'll get to that later.

(also like... White's character is so ... idk, he's just a random, innocent dude, who is there only for the purpose of dying ... not the mention he was really annoying to me at the beginning, like what was that about?)

Now here it comes. Jin. I ... I can't say much, because I think even Tumblr would ban me if I went into detail. Let's just say I did not expected Jin to be horny on main. I still don't understand how Jin was the one who posted the video (we had some evidence it might have been someone else), but if he did or thinks he did, it only makes sense his fear would be related to it. But even so, I think his fear should've been more about him not protecting Non. We know that Jin liked Non and wanted to protect him. So why is his biggest fear everyone knowing he's horny on main? We know from Copper himself that Jin should've been percieved as a good character, but him fearing that what he did to Non happens to him is sort of selfish and absolutely not something I thought about Jin. But let's be honest, bad writing was screwing Jin over since like ep 6 (and it was doing it even harder than Phee) (sorry for this one, I'm leaving the room now).

Now Phee. His fear is obvious and he's the only one getting out of the hallucinations and saving the day. (probably) I didn't understand his momentarily need to save New??? Like buddy, you are in this mess because of him??? But him getting the antidote, saving Jin and then coming back for Tee: amazing, hot, I loved it. Only sad that was like 2 minutes of this tragedy.

New. Oh, New. He was a guy broken beyond repair and I knew he will go. I mostly hoped he would end his life himself after realizing what he did and what happened to Non, but he was too lost for that. But I'm okay with his ending.

FINALLY the holy grail of dissapointment. The ending itself. It suddenly cutting to "2 Years Later" got me thinking That's it??? It didn't even have the shock point, because I was confused the entire time. I was thinking why on earth would you end it like that? Why are PheeJin having happy ending (not that I didn't want it, but not like this, not like this, mate) and why is Tee having the bad ending (really, why?) and like what happened? What did police say? Why we skipped two years ... and suddenly BOOM, they smacked me across my face with that "oh, how did we get out then and why is Non over there?" ending. Like WHAT?

HELLO?

REALLY?

Like you really made me sit through 11 episodes, making my judgement and assumptions about every single character, wanting their ending to be whatever I felt they deserve and instead of giving me the shock, happiness, sadness of what you cooked for them you GIVE ME NOTHING?! OF ALL POSSIBLE CHOICES, YOU GIVE ME NOTHING?!

Is this like write your own ending thing or-? WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME HANGING.

Not to mention there are lot of things unexplained.

Was Jin the one who really posted the video? There were lot of contradictions to it.

How on earth did New manage to prepare everything and hurt Por? We just heard it from Phee, who couldn't have possibly known. And some things like weren't adding up, even if we have the hallucinations thing.

What happened to Keng? Like, is he dead? But we never saw the body. Really, what's with him?

Who are the survivors? We might assume Phee, Jin and Tee, but are they? Are they all dead? What happened to them? This was literally why we all were here and we don't even get that answer?

That ending was soooooo anticlimatic and out of place. This kind of ending can work, but in a slasher movie where we don't care about characters that much and we are there just for the blood and murders (A Nightmare on Elm Street does this wonderfully, for example) but not in a drama, where we spent HOURS learning backstories of each character (except Top, like who is he?) and want to know what is their destiny.

It's like if the ending of Harry Potter was Harry and Voldemort about to fight, then cut to the 19 Years Later scene, but Harry sees Voldemort on the platform and then cut to broken Hogwarts and then end credits. Like, nah, that doesn't work.

I don't want to make my or yours suffering any longer that needed, so I will end this here. I'm very sad, very disappointed and very confused. I feel like I was robbed. This drama was so good, but the writing team just gave up somewhere around episode 9. It's like when I think of good plot for a fic, but don't come up with the ending and have to write just whatever to not leave it open.

Yep, thank you for reading this. The best part about this drama was without the doubt being able to share my thoughts and theorize with everyone. Thank you guys for it.

Special thanks goes to my beloved friends @tbhimnoteasyonmyself @ayansbff @jeffsatursgender and @toonstuna, who were watching each episode along with me and today (and not just today, for like past month and half) were very nice, kind and patient to listen to me ranting about everything for hours (as they were all ranting themselves). Love you all, guys, really <3

Thank you everyone who has been through this with me. Hopefully next time we will meet again at something less disappointing.

Baya!

[marley-manson]

M*A*S*H for the fandom ask

Thank you! 💖

Favorite character:

Hawkeye!!! My guy! I have written so many odes to him so I'll refrain here, but man. Big fave.

Least Favorite character:

Potter. Sorry, he's a sweet loveable old traditional man and that absolutely sucks ass for the political messaging, which is my second favourite aspect of mash after the homoeroticism.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Hawk/Trap

Hawk/Frank

Hawk/BJ

Hawk/omc

aaaand Hawk/Charles I guess

Character I find most attractive:

Margie probably

Character I would marry:

Honestly, none of them. All the women with speaking roles are either military volunteers or have established lives and obligations in a war torn country.

Character I would be best friends with:

The random tertiary characters who don't do anything obnoxious and are just kinda there. Kellye, Igor, various unnamed nurses. I don't want to be friends with someone who could be a sitcom character.

a random thought:

I love how long running episodic tv eventually gets like, a fanfic esque vibe, where the writers are writing fully established characters in a fully established setting and incorporating fully established details into their ideas. I find it very satisfying and enjoyable. There's an exchange in Peace on Us, it's a random little offhand line, totally nothing, but basically Charles tells Hawkeye to stop complaining because he has the most points since he's been there longest, so he'll be going home before any of them anyway. And Hawkeye's response is basically, yeah I've been here so long that I have every right to complain.

And I love that in order to write that exchange some writer had to remember that Hawkeye's canonically been there the longest so logically he would have more points than Charles and BJ.

Like I said, absolutely irrelevant detail, there's hundreds just like it, but it's just a good tiny example of something I like about older tv. It's not about consistency either since Mash is bad with continuity lol, it's just about knowing that the writers are building on a world that exists with or without them, I guess.

An unpopular opinion:

Is there one I haven't already talked about at length? Today I will say:

Hawkeye doesn't have a character arc. He doesn't get more worn down, he doesn't lose his resilience. He has ups and downs throughout from season 1 to 11 and he has a breakdown at the end, not a tangible decline. The seventh episode of the whole show was about Hawkeye and Trapper being extremely burned out, there's no down to go from there. The entire show is one big down for Hawkeye. The change is solely tone, and Hawkeye's the only one this really affects because he's the only character there from start to finish, aside from Margaret who did have an arc.

Hawkeye's biggest breakdowns pre GFA are, imo, Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde, and The Late Captain Pierce, both episodes in the first half of the show, and at the very least anything in later seasons like eg Depressing News is equal rather than worse. If anything it could be argued that he gets a little more of a handle on himself and the situation in the later seasons thanks to being there so long. He certainly has enough of a handle on himself to emotionally support the hell out of everyone else for very little support in return lol, and there are moments when he gives others cautionary advice based on his own hard-earned experience, like when he warns Winchester about insomnia in Dr Winchester Mr Hyde.

Like, basically in the early seasons Hawkeye was miserable in dark comedy, in the later seasons he's miserable in character drama with a side of comedy subplots. There's no devolution there.

my canon OTP:

None. The most a canon romance is to me is neutral.

Non-canon OTP:

Hawkeye/Trapper

most badass character:

Klinger. And I love how the show frames him sometimes along those lines - like Margaret and Hawkeye's "isn't there one man among you?" / "The job's open" exchange when they're being held at gunpoint, followed by Klinger showing up in a dress and disarming dude with his stole in White Gold.

pairing I am not a fan of:

Hawkeye/Mulcahy I'll say. I don't dislike it on principle or anything, I'm happy for the fans and its surge in popularity, but I can't say I'm a fan, because I just can't really suspend my disbelief when it comes to Mulcahy fucking - gay fucking even - without like, having an immense religious crisis. And I don't particularly care to read about a priest having a religious crisis, so idk, doesn't work for me any way I slice it.

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Yeah Klinger's a good choice for this, when he became company clerk, when the show has him flip flop on whether he loves the army because all his friends are in it (I can fanwank it away but if I have to do that it means the show fucked up), when they make him the guy who makes stupid mistakes... all a downgrade.

favourite friendship:

Hawk + Margaret. I love them because they're very odd-couple, they would never be friends outside this circumstance and only became friends within the circumstance after years of enmity and change from Margaret. I don't think they'd remain close after the war, and that's part of what I like about their friendship. It feels real, but temporary and very much a friendship of convenience, because Margaret's the only person around Hawkeye can really have certain kinds of emotional talks with.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by:

n/a

ask meme

[sapshorelines]

PARTY TIME | LUCAS x M!reader

REQUESTED BY @lovekaikim (Tumblr was being wonky and it wouldnt let me reply to the inbox, sorry about that)

You have recently debuted in SM entertainment and Lucas was pretty much hyped for your debut. So he decides to be the best bro and throw a party for you.

(Platonic relationship, general fluff/crack, mentions of alcohol, kinda OOC,) (Not proof read | 1.2k words)

AUTHORS NOTE: Yes I can indeed write for Lucas! I am still going to add more stuff that I can write of. But yes, I am fine with writing Lucas!

!! NOTE !! None of my works represent any IRL people. These works are purely meant for entertainment purpose and shouldn't be taken seriously. Do not steal any of my works and reupload them to other medias

MINORS DNI

----

Today was finally the day. You were pretty much hyped for your debut as well as those who helped your works. Everything was on schedule and ready to be released.

You're currently in your dorm room on your laptop looking at the screen so intensely, waiting till the clock strikes the next hour. You sat there ass your leg starts to bounce in anxiety, you've come all this way to finally shine and show the world what you can do.

You must've blanked out for a few minutes in your own world of thoughts, because once you've regain reality back, the MV had been posted. Of course you've filmed a reaction of the final product before hand, which that will be released in a few days. But you mainly want to see what your fan's will say about this.

You smile in excitement as you would click on the video to watch the MV, you pretty much have a big ego at the moment. Who wouldn't?

As you were watching the MV, the people who are in charge of posting things to any socials are already posting your other works to other platforms to share.

Once you've finished watching the MV again, you decided to wait a bit before reading any feedback and such from fans. You closed the laptop and decided to make your way to the balcony of your dorm…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The three knocks at the door scared the ever living shit out of you. You recognize those knocks, 'What could he possibly want?' you thought as you let out a small chuckle as you make your way to the front door of your dorm.

You then open the door to see Lucas, pretty much your best bro, both of your trained together as he was in NCT. He stood there with the biggest smile on his face, but you can tell he was out of breath, he probably ran over here.

"M/n, your music video… ITS SO GOOD!" He says as he brings you into a hug. You gotta admit, his hugs were amazing but sometimes he just hugs a bit to tight.

"You like it?" You chuckle sarcastically a you embrace the hug back.

"Yeah! It was amazing man!" You can probably tell he's already your number one fan.

You smile as you back away from his hug, "Well I am glad you like it."

"Say, do you wanna throw a party?" He suggested to you. You thought for a second, you never had any ideas of a party or anything. Lets say parties weren't a thing for you but you can at least tolerate them.

"Uhm, I guess? I wasn't planning on having a big one." You say awkwardly to him. He knows that you weren't a big fan of parties, but this is big news for you!

"It doesn't need to be a whole lot of people, It can just be me and you."

"You're not wrong." You agreed to his suggestion.

"Alright! Come to my dorm later today, we can throw a party there!"

"Sure thing." You smiled. "Well then, I best get ready to get things ready, I'll see you later bro!" He says as he gives you a head pat and runs off.

Hours passed and you were reading feedback from fans, most if not all were positive and everyone pretty much liked it. Of course there was the haters but that didn't really phase you too much, you shouldn't let a few comments let your day down.

You were sitting on your couch as you were on your laptop. Then, your phone dinged, you got a notification from Lucas. Looks like he was done with setting up for a party.

[LUCAS] [party is done dude!! come on over to my dorm!!]

You smile a bit as you closed your laptop and grabbed your necessary thing you needed. Of course you brushed your hair and all so you don't look like a producer who's been locked up in a studio for four days.

You then made your way to Lucas's dorm, it was a bit of a walk but you soon arrive, knocking on the door. You waited a few seconds for the door to open, which it was soon open by Lucas of course.

"M/n! You came!" He smiles, he then grabs your arm and drags you into his dorm. You took a moment to take in everything.

The place was decorated with your typical things you'd see at a birthday party, but this was just a debut party. But look! He also invited a few other idols over to celebrate that you also are friends with! (It can be anyone within SM!)

They greeted you and congratulated you for your debut. They were also liking the debut as well! The place was also filled with food and drinks, looks like Lucas really wants to celebrate your debut.

"You sure you're ok with us destroying the place?" You chuckled, "Yeah, Its not a big deal." He smiles. "Now, are we ready to celebrate?" He says to all of the people within the room, and everyone was ready.

As the hours passed within the party, everyone who was there had a blast. Everyone was pretty much agreed on doing different drinking games as well as eating food that was cooked by Lucas.

One of the games was a dance off and if you lose, you had to take a shot. The group danced to various songs in chaotic manners, sometimes freestyling it.

After hours of chaotic drinking games, the other idols left to head back to their dorms. Leaving just you and Lucas.

Both of you are drunk off your asses and decided to play one more game, rock paper scissors.

"You'll lose."

"Nuh uh." You say.

"Fuck do you mean 'nuh uh'?"

Both of you started to giggle, then saying rock paper scissors…

Lucas wins.

"Fuck!" You yelled, then filling up a shot glass as Lucas was laughing like a goof ball. You then take a shot, you're pretty much wasted at this point.

You both went on for a few more rounds, Lucas ended up winning. "M/nnnn~, I'm getting tireddd.." Lucas says, you can tell this man is drunk as well too.

"Sameee…" You pretty much agree to him as you collapsed on the couch, starting to feel sleepy as hell.

You started to drift asleep, but as you were you can feel Lucas putting a Pillow under your head and a blanket over you. "Goodnight M/n~…" he says as he gives you a drunk smooch on your forehead and pats you on the head.

Lucas would end up sleeping on the other couch because he was so wasted. Looks like both of you are gonna be going though the worst hangovers in the morning as well as a mess to clean up.

--- F I N ---

BONUS

Your eyes fluttered open as you were hit with the blinding lights of the sun. But before you can do anything you were hit with the most painful headache ever. You looked around and see that you were still in Lucas's dorm, having no memory of what happen last night. But you do remember a party happening.

You reached out for your phone and saw a bunch of notifications from the other idols that were there and they sent a bunch of videos and photos of the party. "bruh…"

Lets say things were wild as fuck last night.

I hope you've enjoyed my first ever fic! I am also to critique's so feel free to leave any suggestions on how I can improve!

[86stagram]

I borrowed these from my friend! I've been watching "Everyone come here please! Prism☆Tours" , "King of Prism by Pretty Rhythm" , "KING OF PRISM -PRIDE the HERO-" this month.

(unfortunately, i forget order in which i was watched) Hi! I'm Ham's servant. I'm sure Kazuki would say : "FREEDOM! it's okay to make mistakes when you learning English" . *1

i saw Laala saying "YES(hai)" NOT "KASHIKOMA" and it made me laugh. please. . . KASHIKOMA surprisingly, but Aloma was very low voice that time. she really look like someone who the "chuunibyou(厨二病)" character.  i wonder because maybe her voice actor recorded voice in the middle of 1st season. perhaps character's setting of attention to detail hadn't been determined at that point (?)

let me talk about KinPri. (** not includes spoilers in this post** ) even more i watched up to 2 episodes of "KING OF PRISM -Shiny Seven Stars-" last week. that was great, and I couldn't resist starting continue today! btw when i watched KING OF PRISM -Dramatic PRISM.1- at that time (September 6th) i don't know the general flow of the series of whole very well i'm pretty sure that time was when i watched until half episode of RL.

however I was told by friends to "of course i think you can enjoy the latest installment even if you watch without knowing the whole story! that's because awesome works!" haha

somehow, i was astounded by HIRO's change than other prism stars or anything else. he used to have a very difficult personality and often bothered people around him, including Koji, right? to be honest, my interest in this is the same as when I was following SHO's activities before. because of his change, i found myself looking forward to seeing how HIRO would grow in RL. (i already watched that until the end but I don't know why i felt this way from that time)

However, they has made a striking impression on me by changing so much. . . now they are the completely different person, right? this is not "oshi(推し)" as when I was keeping an eye on Mirei, Falulu, Hibiki, and Shuka activities before. it's hard to put into words. (maybe this is lil different what i wish to mean because i don't have enough English proficiency.)

in either case, i was unwittingly drawn into the narrative and that movie make to oddly mysterious and large impact in a good way. i thinking i'd like write something my impressions but i can't make up my mind which one to how word choose. sometimes i think i don't understand something at the time, but surely then i realize to get many things later that i do after watched works.

i want enough time to read this official setting book for KinPri for that was released in July 2016. ＼idol time is money／ from what i heard, this book hasn't includes little new information and not includes spoiler because to announced 1st work of the whole series. (but I don't pay too much attention to about spoiler)

WOOOO the more i write text the less i understand multiple language become like puzzle to me. i'll write my impressions soon in Japanese. (i'm having a hard time because my arms always have pain for the past half year. . .)

*1 however i can't understand well such as the difference in nuance between freedom / free and liberty. Probably Kazuki can possible to tell me the difference among these words. but i'm not yumejoshi haha that's balderdash. . .

[lovusopp]

hi!! i love your layout it’s so cute!!

may i request usopp reuniting with his s/o on sabaody after the 2 yr time skip?

please and thank you!! <33

a/n ahhhhh thank you!! im so glad someone requested usopp content! congrats on being the first request i ever completed! my writing feels clusmy tbh but i'll get better eventually :') i hope you enjoy it <333

— REUNITING W/ USOPP, TWO YEARS LATER

summary after training on their own for two years, the straw hats reunite on the sabaody archipelago, eager to see each other again. among them, two members looked abnormally nervous. seeing your significant other for the first time in two years is a nerve racking situation, indeed.

✰ cw none, except the sabaody reunion being romanticised maybe?? (they actually get time to party before leaving for their next adventure) ✰ wc 1.3k ✰ gn!reader

so today is the day... you thought to yourself, unusually anxious. sabaody looked just how it did when the whole crew was forced to leave it, two years earlier. yet, something had changed. you changed. you welcomed this new beginning with a sense of courage and renewed ambition. and it seemed like the rest of the crew shared the same state of mind.

the first crewmate you came across was robin. your initial reflex was to jump into her arms ; what a relief it was to come across another straw hat a few minutes after setting foot on the island! you couldn't help but gasp seeing how much she had changed. had everyone changed so much in only two years? had you changed too? your archeologist friend assured you did, and for the better.

you both walked enthusiastically to the sunny, only to stumble upon franky nami and chopper, who apparently got there before you. it didn't took you long to realise that there was no use in dreading this reunion. everything stayed as it was before your separation. as soon as sanji arrived, he started making drinks for everyone. brook was playing music and singing as passionately as before, and luffy and chopper were both running around, impressed by franky's new gadgets ; a familiar scene.

as happy as you were, one question could not leave your mind. "has anyone met usopp on their way there?" you finally asked, not concealing your concern.

you heard luffy's iconic chuckle, which slightly swept away your worry. "he'll probably arrive shortly!" he said, before biting into a piece of meat sanji had given him.

"maybe he sank trying to get here." you choked on your drink, struggling to breathe in again. why did robin have to say such bleak lines every time? and how could she say that with such a straight face? you shook your head, trying to chase any thoughts of your loved one getting hurt.

going two years without seeing your boyfriend was hard, and worrisome. first, because usopp was usopp, and you could easily imagine him ending up in situations he did not want to get into in the first place. you knew he could be stronger than what he seemed, but you also knew the poor man lacked confidence, and that kept him from unleashing his true potential.

then, you couldn't help but wonder if he fell out of love. what if he had met someone else? these thoughts were irrational, and you knew it. but on some lonely nights, you couldn't help but let these anxieties get to you. and now was not the time for said anxieties to come back!

your drink now finished, — half of it ended up on the floor after you spit it out — you got up and walked around the sunny, looking out for any signs of usopp arriving.

instead of seeing anyone, you heard someone. "h-hey y/n ! it's been a long time right? haha..." the voice paused for a second, "no no, it sounds too cliché-"

you had to cover your mouth to stay quiet, not knowing exactly if you were holding in a gasp or a laugh. was usopp rehearsing your encounter this whole time?

the sniper cleared his throat, before trying again : "y/n !! i hope you didn't miss me too much!"

now it was clear ; you were holding in a laugh. you could picture exactly the face your stupid lover was making as he was reciting his lines. you had to see that.

approaching the stern, you leaned on a fence, trying to cautiously look over the ship. your eyes opened wide as you finally got to see your boyfriend. he changed a lot. he was probably the one who changed the most among the straw hat pirates — franky aside, obviously.

usopp kept walking in circles, scratching the back of his head, and you couldn't help but admire how long his hair got. it looked like he didn't cut them at all while you were separated. you looked forward to the time you will be able to play with it, like back in the days. he also grew a goatee! you didn't think it would look good on him, but he proved you wrong.

what was the most striking was how muscular he had become. what had happened to the little guy you unwillingly left behind two years ago? he really did train a lot. just like everyone. a feel of pride traveled through you, making you smile foolishly.

when you finally decided it would be time for you to call your boyfriend's name, your eyes met, and locked. both of you looked ashamed. you felt guilty about spying on him, and he was embarrassed after realising you had probably heard him overthink your reunion.

"oh." usopp remained silent for a few more seconds, before tensing up suddenly. he tried to blurt out one of his pre-made lines ; "o-OH HEY Y/N !! it's been a long miss me right? UH NO i meant—"

you did not wait for him to make a bigger fool of himself, and jumped off deck carefully right into his arms, making sure you won't fall over. tears threatened to spill out your eyes. "yes, it's been a long time," you said, pulling back from usopp's tight grip, "and yes, i missed you. a lot."

you placed a hand on one of his rosy cheeks, his beam almost turning you blind. "yellow suits you!" out of all the things you wanted to tell him, this is what you chose to say. "i knew you would like it." luckily, usopp did not seem disappointed at your reaction. you could have said anything, and he would have willingly played along.

"there are so many things i need to tell you about! like that time when—" you gently flicked his forehead, stopping him mid sentence. you also wanted to talk with him for hours, catching up on each other's lives, but you had to stop him, for now. "get on board and say hello to the crewmates you've been ghosting for the past hours!!"

"please don't tell them you caught me talking to myself." you gave usopp the silence treatment as you both walked towards your friends. "please!" he added, looking overly worried. "i won't." you finally answered, relieving the poor young man. everyone greeted him warmly. the straw hats were finally reunited, and all the worries that anteriorly occupied your thoughts were now gone. nothing had changed at all. . . .

as expected, the reunion party lasted a long time and, as tired as the both of you were, usopp and you volunteered to be on night watch. you needed sleep, but you needed to spend alone time together even more.

you tried to muffle your giggles as usopp was telling you about one of his great adventures, but his way of telling stories always had you laughing a lot.

"and then the island threatened to swallow the poor heracles!! he's lucky i was there to save him!" the professional liar looked so proud as he was annunciating his stories, you couldn't help but look at him with admirative eyes. he had missed this stare a lot. back on the bowin islands, there was no one to make him feel so warm, so cared for, so loved.

you did not know how much of this story was true, and you did not care. scooting usopp closer, you finally pressed your lips softly against his. you had missed this simple gesture of intimacy so much, and now that you got to feel his lips again you wondered how you managed to survive two whole years without him.

"i'm proud of you, usopp." you said, greeting him for the exploit he had just told you about. he adored the way you never questioned his stories. the way you seemed to understand him so well, like no one ever could. in a way that felt less hesitant than before, he rested his arm on your waist, pulling you closer to him. the air was chilly, but in this embrace, you both felt warm.

"thank you, y/n." he paused, before adding : "i love you."

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 10

Chapter ten! Last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy!! Full fic on AO3

Words: 1.1k

June 29th

Rhys came with me to the Rainbow today. It has been nerve-wracking if I put it lightly. It took me about an hour before I even could step a foot into the artist's quarter but Rhys was there, reassuring me and giving me the time I needed. I actually wanted to do this after work but Rhys took the day off for us both and we walked to the Rainbow. In my quest to ignore it the past years I never realized how close the quarter was to the lounge.

After I managed to actually walk into the Rainbow (I gripped Rhys's hand the whole time like my life depended on it) I got that sudden feeling of nostalgia. Seeing people carrying canvases and paints, even the street musicians who were in their element. It was such a weird mix of emotions, on one side I wanted to bolt in the other I felt at home there, like I belonged. I teared up just standing there, probably looking like an idiot, but Rhys wiped my tears away with the hand I wasn't squeezing.

We even ate lunch there, right beside a gallery. I haven't gone into the gallery but Rhys and I agreed that this would be the next step, for the next time.

I'm actually excited! It's so strange, tho. Having all these different emotions.

July 12th

Tonight I had the first nightmare that I was alone to deal with. Rhys had to work longer and Elain and Nesta were on a double date with Azriel and Cassian. They invited me, too, but I was so exhausted after therapy that I just fell into bed right after dinner. I assume that's also why I had nightmares again, a lot has come up. I wish someone had been there but I managed, somehow. I didn't throw up and I, fortunately, didn't have a panic attack either. That's good, it's something to celebrate. I really don't know if I should tell Rhys, though, because I know he's going to feel bad for not being there and I don't want him to feel bad. I have to do this alone, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I don't know, I'll think about it. He's not in his office later when I work, so there is enough time to debate this until I meet him in the afternoon.

Also, I've bought a new dress. It's not like the others I took from home, this one is much more revealing. Mom would hate it, so I know it's great. Rhys will love it.

July 13th

I couldn't even say hello before he asked me if I had nightmares again? Is it that obvious??

But, okay, but that's not what I'm going to write about today. Something happened. Something GREAT!!! Rhys and I had sex last night. For the first time. And the second. And the third. Okay, a lot of times and it was amazing. It was the best sex I ever had. Not that I'm surprised but also I'm a little surprised because I didn't expect that. It was like something you'd read in Nesta's smutty books. I can't stop thinking about it. About Rhys and the last night and well, that's bad because we will have a barbecue tonight with the whole family (Nesta, Elain, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, Rhys's mother and sister, Rhys and me) and apparently you can read all my emotions on my face. Fuck, I have to work on that. I will! I'll try while getting ready. I'm still at Rhys's place but he already had a dress ready for me so I won't have to stress about that. (not in a controlling way like, his mother made that dress. She's a seamstress and I feel really honored to wear her dress but nobody would blink an eye either if I would turn up in pajamas)

I feel like I'm walking on clouds! It's surreal. If someone told my 16 year old self that I am where I am now she would laugh. She wouldn't believe it at all. I barely can.

December 15th

A decision was made!

I'm quitting my job at Rhys's lounge and going to art school. I started painting again around august and I just can't stop. There is so much that I have to tell, to get out. Rhys and I spent a whole night talking about the future weeks ago and the decision was a hard one to make but I made it. I'm going to art school. I'm living my dream, the thing I've worked towards my whole life until we had to leave my hometown. It's happening and I made the decision all alone. Without Rhys (although I've talked his ear off about the pros and cons), without Nesta or Elain, without my therapist. It was my decision! Isn't this exciting? I'm standing on my own two feet again. Baby steps evolved into quite big steps. I can't say how light I feel these days. I can paint it but words can't even begin to describe my feelings. I still have rough patches, especially now that it nears one year since my abduction but I'll get through this. I'm not alone. I'm not there anymore, I am safe now. And I am going to art school! Oh my god!

No words left, just happy.

January 1st

If you like a thing you should put a ring on it!

Okay, well, that's not the exact lyrics. I had to modify it a tiny little bit to fit my situation. Our situation. Rhys and my situation. Well, happy new year! I'm engaged! We are engaged! There will be a wedding. Between me and Rhys. Rhys and I. Engaged. Soon to be married. I'd say I believe I'm dreaming but I am not, I am looking at the ring as we speak. It's a family heirloom, Rhys told me. It's been through generations. The ring is also SO beautiful. It's a sapphire and in is etched with a six pointed star. The band of the ring is twisted of silver and gold. Never in my life have I seen something that beautiful. Sometimes, when the light falls in it in the right way, it looks like there is a star inside the stone.

Which actually brings me to the proposal. It wasn't something big, it was just me and Rhys and we went stargazing. I tried to find a constellation he had pointed at and when I turned around he was on his knee (his bad one, I basically had to pull him up), asking me to become his wife. Of course I cried. Nothing could beat this proposal.

It's Rhys and me. For the rest of our lives.

I'm thanking the stars everyday

Feysand Taglist:

@captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[ystk-archive]

CAPS LOCK turns ten today! Any thoughts about it looking back? (Yes, it's your time to write that essay!) And do you think Nakata should release an album like this again? I remember you saying that CAPS LOCK should've been a Nakata album, not a CAPSULE one.

It's kind of crazy that anyone would remember something I probably said when I was nineteen, but that's a good (incorrect) opinion of mine to take me to task for since it's a great jump-off point, lol.

I most likely said that not so much because CAPS LOCK doesn't use Toshiko's voice enough -- it uses it extremely well, really, better than the more recent Metro Pulse -- but because the album seems so pensive and insular and bizarrely personal. capsule's music increasingly incorporated gloomy and oppressive overtones starting from FRUITS CLiPPER (and I'll ascribe it as a function of the genre change), but capsule was fundamentally always pop, and moreover always a "good time." The music was supposed to make you get up and dance, not sit and listen in a quiet space. CAPS LOCK was him shifting his ethos, it was an abrupt rejection of what he had been doing. It was close to what I'd always envisioned a "solo Nakata Yasutaka album" to be -- largely or entirely instrumental, completely inscrutable, and room to do more than what he could (or would) with his normal 9-to-5 cubicle musician pop production acts. And it was the first time a capsule album made me feel sad and reflective instead of immersed in a fantasy of a world that I know nothing about and cannot access. It's a sobering album instead of an intoxicating one.

If those are a lot of frou-frou words, I can also call CAPS LOCK the end result of what happens when you talk to Sakamoto Ryuichi just one time (will never stop thinking about how he met him for S&R in 2012 and a year later we got this album lmao); I'll admit there's a sense of insincerity to the album that was sharply amplified by everything that followed (WAVE RUNNER and six years of silence) and it's partially just the sci-fi film score Nakata is never going to be asked to do (wish he'd fund his own, he loves movies and it's not like he ain't got no money). It's also an album that makes the listener want to know more about what's going on there -- it suggests a story (as Toshiko pointed out in this column) though there is none that can be concretely pieced together, it tries to and I think does create vivid environments through its sound design, and some tracks are unenjoyable slogs to hear for those who come to capsule for snappy pop music. There's a fetishizing of recorded sounds here instead of synthesizers; CAPS LOCK is entirely about what every moving part of each song accomplishes in tandem.

But all of this really just functioned as a declaration of capsule's plasticity. Anyone can examine their albums between 2010-2012 and see someone endlessly repeating themselves, sometimes trying to violently elbow their way out of a pigeonhole. CAPS LOCK was so much of a properly-done reversal that I got the impression that, regardless of how fans personally felt about the music itself, it piqued curiosities and got people really invested and excited for what could be created through capsule. It achieved this visually and sonically; basically, it felt like an album that was truly considered and made instead of cobbled together with a black backdrop. It presented Toshiko's voice in an entirely new way, where she actually is an instrument and to remove or replace her with something else would alter the effect, and it evoked enough familiarity with their previous work while still transforming the scope of what a capsule album could justifiably be and how it could make listeners feel.

This has been a whole lot of incoherent rambling but to answer the other question, yes, he absolutely should do another album "'like this," though I struggle to explain what exactly "like this" is even after everything I just wrote LMAO. Another album with a specific intention behind it? Something that is music for music's sake and not a collection of advertisements and safe pop?

[asimpforthe80s]

I Love You So Much, My Precious Boy

Starring: Supportive!Eddie x Transmasc!Reader

Warnings: fluff, phalloplasty, mastectomy, transgender reader getting a phalloplasty.

A/N: I'm genderfluid and today I've felt a lot like a boy, so I decided to write a transgender reader fic. It's a little short, but I'll probably make some more in June.

You had gotten a mastectomy a few months ago, and today was your phalloplasty. Eddie said he was gonna drive you there a little later, so now you were on your way to his trailer once again.

He had supported you through all of this, helped you get money, fixed your hair and everything in between. You were so happy he was your boyfriend and looked forward to later today.

When you arrived, you quickly went inside and hugged him. "Hey, baby."

"Hey, beautiful," Eddie said, smiling. "Ready to become the boy you want to be and take the next step?"

You nodded. "Definitely..!"

"Alright! So, I know it's a big day and we have to leave soon, but would you wanna like go shopping or do other fun stuff while we wait?"

"We can go clothing shopping?"

"Of course we can, and maybe later get some food. Just so it's not too dull." You nodded. "Sure."

"Cool, let's go get you some new clothes," Eddie said, offering to take your hand like a true gentleman. You chuckled and took his hand, walking out to his van.

Eddie led you into town. After a bit of a drive, he pulled into the parking lot at the mall, opening the door for you once you were there. "Such a gentleman." You joked, getting out of the passenger seat. "Oh, you know it," Eddie said, winking. "Now let's find you a nice outfit and some other fun things!" Eddie said, his excitement infectious. "Yeah!"

Eddie and you walked inside, going to the men's section first. Eddie handed you a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, saying "Here, try these on and see how you like them." You went into the changing rooms, soon coming out in the outfit. Eddie smiled, looking the outfit up and down and nodding in approval. "Nice! They fit you well. You like them?"

You were overly happy, feeling like this was so very right. "Yeah.. what aesthetic are these?"

Eddie looked at you, then at the clothes. "Well, the jeans are just regular old jeans, but I'd say... hm, maybe skater boy?" You looked at yourself in the mirror. "It feels.. feels like me.."

Eddie stepped over behind you. "I'm glad," he said, putting one arm around your waist. He leaned in and kissed you on the cheek. "I love you so much, you know that?"

"I love you more, baby," Eddie said, smiling at you as he looked at you in your new outfit.

"You think I can get it?" Looking down at the clothes, posing a little. "Hell yeah you can get it," Eddie said, looking you up and down. "Damn, you look good." A soft chuckle left your lips. "You think so?"

"Oh, I know so," Eddie said, laughing. "But hey, let's get you some more clothes, and we could get some matching stuff if you want." He kissed your cheek. "Yes! Like, some band things like you?" You asked, turning to him with that adorable smile you both knew Eddie loved. Eddie chuckled, smiling back. He took your hand again and started leading you back to the shelves. "Yeah, we can definitely get some merch from some bands we like and we could also get some matching hoodies or jackets, you know, that couple's look." You were so happy. "Yeah, definitely!"

"What bands are you in the mood for right now?" Eddie asked. "We could get some Slipknot, Metallica, you name it."

"Anything, really. Just something to match your punky metalhead style." Eddie smiled. "Sure, we can do that. Let's get some metal shirts and maybe some cool jackets." Eddie led you over to the displays and started looking through them. "Let me know if there are any you want!" The two of you looked around and found a few outfits. You couldn't be happier today.

After you paid, you went to the hospital to get your phalloplasty. Eddie was right by your side for the whole trip. He held your hand and comforted you as you waited for when you'd be called to have your surgery. The whole time he looked over at you and smiled at you excitedly. He was so happy you were finally getting what you've always wanted. "I can't believe that our relationship led to this.. I love you.. so very fucking much.."

Eddie smiled. "I love you so much, I'll be your rock through all this and every step of the way."

Soon, you heard your name called, and Eddie squeezed your hand and smiled. "You're ready, baby? You're gonna do great."

Nodding, you stood up. "Let's do this..!" you said, taking a deep breath as you walked towards the nurse who led you to the surgery room. Eddie walked with you. As the nurse lead you away to do all the pre-op stuff like check your vital signs, Eddie kissed you on the cheek. "I love you, and I'll see you once you're done, baby. It's gonna go smooth!"

"Yeah!" You followed the nurse as Eddie got told to wait in the waiting room. Eddie watched as you walked off, and then sat down in the waiting room. He had his phone out and was playing games to pass the time. Soon, he heard a ding and saw he got a text. He opened it and saw you sent him a picture of you in a hospital bed, grinning happily and a thumbs up. "It started," Eddie mumbled to himself, smiling.

Under the whole procedure, you sent weird pictures and texts to pass the time. And to lighten your anxiety, of course.

Eddie smiled at the pictures, sending you love messages to calm you. He also sent you some funny memes.

After a few hours, you sent a text reading, "I'm out, babe." Eddie texted back quickly, "Can i see you?!" He said, adding a bunch of hearts. "Come on." You texted him with a smiley and a heart. Eddie texted back "I'll be right there."

He quickly got up and walked into the hall, looking for the room you were in. When he got to it, he opened the door and walked in and, seeing you, his heart melted. The boy of his dreams was sitting there, his hand bandaged, grinning at him. He smiled and walked over and kissed your forehead. "Hey, baby, how are you feeling?"

You were smiling as hell. Never been happier in your life. Tears slowly formed in your eyes. "Feel amazin' babe.." Eddie hugged you tightly. "I'm so proud of you. Are you in any pain?" Eddie asked, holding your bandaged hand. "Do you need anything?" He asked, smiling at you, tears in his own eyes.

"Just cuddles, please." You tried drying your tears, but they didn't stop. You couldn't feel happier in your body than now.

Eddie smiled and brought you in for a tight hug, rubbing your back softly. He kissed you on the head, smiling at you. "You're such an amazing boy, love you," Eddie whispered in your ear, hugging you tightly. You couldn't help but cry more as he called you a boy.

He held you tighter, whispering "I love you so much, my precious boy. I'm excited for everyone to recognize that and see you as the man you are."

Thanks for reading!

Tag list: @reidsbtch

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Three years ago today I found an article that talked about a new song written by a boy newer to the punk scene. He was young and rambunctious and saying things he deeply believed with his whole being. I hadn't liked new musicians in... Over a decade probably. I was stuck in my ways and just seeing a headline about 'I wrote this while watching Green Day's BIAB' made me almost annoyed. I remember rolling my eyes and thinking- 'yeah sure, I'll see about that.'

I was more depressed than I realized. My health was declining and I had been through a lot in the years before. I was just hitting my 30s and the world was terrifying. I never left my house from anxiety and barely left my bed. I don't talk about it much but after my health went extra bad I was so scared of my heart problems I barely spoke out loud for a year. I didn't even listen to music anymore really, I didn't feel things the way I had as a teenager but I thought I'd test it out just to see. Why not make jokes to myself about how sad the state of pop punk was becoming?

Well if you can't guess, that song was Strawberry Lipstick and that rambunctious boy was Dom. To say that night changed my life is a fucking understatement. I was hooked automatically. I was desperate for more and I spent the next few days diving into everything I could find from and about him. I fell in love with him, with the way he loved us, with his energy and his honesty and the way he gave his all. He opened my eyes to others I'd fall in love with too. He reminded me of my love for music and reintroduced me to myself. I don't always know what I believe in but I truly believe the universe wanted me to find him that night.

I made a Tumblr (my old one) just for him and made friends for the first time in years. I reached out to the world because of Dom and the BHC (and later EST) reached back. Of course I've been hurt and I still have trouble but I wouldn't be who and where I am today without that man. I've watched him grow and flourish and with him so have I. Because of Dom I finally came out to myself and my family. Because of Dom I'm not scared to say I'm trans.

Since that day I've lost some of my old and new friends, not everyone stays and that's okay. Since that day I've changed and grown and hurt and healed and loved. I finally have a diagnosis for what's wrong with me which I wouldn't have felt strong enough to push for without finding Dom. I wouldn't have felt brave enough to keep asking, I wouldn't have felt brave enough to try working at one point, I wouldn't have felt brave enough to put myself out there with art or writing. Without Dom I wouldn't be me. I can never thank him enough. Ever.

So maybe I go overboard celebrating his birthday but that's because I'm not just celebrating his birth, I'm celebrating myself. I started living again because of this man so in a way it's my day as well (though my actual birthday in the 8th so it's almost a special few day holiday for me!) Happy birthday Dominic and happy anniversary to my love for him 🖤

Sending love to you all today and every day because you're all incredible! 🫀