#I'll let y'all know if it gets homoerotic

[bumblingbabooshka]

From 'String Theory' by Kirsten Beyer 1] Seven of Nine, Hater of the Century /pos 2] Extremely high praise from Seven in a Mister Darcy sort of way 3] Interesting that Seven refers to B'Elanna as 'Human' whereas everyone else throughout the series really only ever refers to her as Klingon

[widowshill]

scientific ranking of all of vicki's boyfriends and girlfriends

1. roger collins canon status: 6/10 they are the moment. collinsport's own jane eyre reenactment in a 1960's feudal sardine empire, complete with lovely arsonist wife. they're soulmates. he might be her uncle (?). it's true love. it's workplace harassment. they're fated to be together. they're doomed. they're entwined but never joined. they're marrying other people. they're mimicking each other's dialogue. they went on two dates and they both sucked. she's the adoptive mother to his (?) child. he tried to fire her 2 million times. they never even kissed once. they got stuck in a cabin together in the middle of a storm. he gives her away at her wedding. he can't stand to see her married. she is one of the few people in this world that he finds worth caring about.

2. burke devlin (mitch ryan) canon status: 10/10 he's dangerous he's mysterious he's tall dark and handsome and he did not hit that guy with his car. he's an oil baron. he's an ex convict. he's a millionaire. he's roger collins' ex-boyfriend. he's going to set out to destroy everything but oh god not her he would never let anyone touch her. one of the few people who actually takes her bodily safety seriously and moves heaven and earth to rescue her (repeatedly). two poor kids from the wrong side of the tracks arrive in the same train car from new york to collinsport. one of them already knows the underside of the collins' heel and the other one is about to and he can't convince her to get out. he wants to wreck the collins name she wants it as her own but they're both too-well wrapped up in the myth to leave it.

3. carolyn stoddard canon status: 2/10 girlfriends. that's all i can say. i just think they are very much adorable and they do score points on the canon scale, remotely, for such subtle lines from Carolyn as: "Just what the doctor ordered to keep the wind from ruffling your dark and gorgeous hair," and "Here, alone with you, I can't pretend." never mind their sleepovers in vic's bed hanging out in their nightdresses. carolyn would sooner own up to having a crush on her uncle than having a crush on a woman because this is upper crust maine in the 1960's but listen ... for a character who enjoys flirting for fun but gets extremely anxious about settling down and marrying a man, who prefers the most distant, unobtainable men that she has no reasonable chance of actually ending up with (roger case in point), who gets jealous every time vicki is with someone no matter who it is ... maybe she does like men too, but let's investigate mama let's research. with the governess, preferably. (who could maybe be her half sister? see no. 1)

4. maggie evans (blonde wig) canon status: 0/10 i'll be honest with you all this one is purely vibes but the other boyfriends suck so she still gets to place ahead of them. don't tell me maggie's not looking at her in exactly the same way she looks at joe when she's eyeing him up as her next man. she got straighter when we lost the blonde wig but this entire counter scene in e1 is one long flirtation session and for however many episodes she keeps the wig i believe very strongly there's a devastatingly homoerotic female friendship developing. i'm not immune to the short hair blonde long hair brunette wlw aesthetic i'll admit. as i said vibes only but just trust me. y'all fw cartinelli? ok. well.

5. frank garner canon status: 10/10 i'm glad you were very helpful during the laura arc frank but i'll be honest you bore me to tears why are you even here. he's got the personality of wonder bread and he's in the wrong genre he should be arguing cases on bachelor father or solving hardy boys mysteries or something i truly do not know. these two together just means bouncing all our lawful good off each other and it self perpetuates into nothing interesting at all. they're not even maybe related! maybe if we continued further with the betty hanscombe story and he found some damning revelation about vicki's parentage he'd have something fun to contribute to the plot but as things stand he's just a duller ivy league version of joe and if we're gonna have an all-american boyfriend i'd rather she just date mr haskell.

6. burke devlin (anthony george) canon status: 10/10 you may think that he cannot have possibly fallen from 2nd to 6th with a recast ... surely not ... but you would be wrong. i give vic props for domesticating him but he's lost all his panache in his full-time role as romantic interest, and now he doesn't even look like handsome squidward anymore :( like frank, this version of burke is much too obviously a safe choice, where the original allure of burke is the fact that she wants him despite the enmity between him and the collins family, his destructive tendencies, his jawline ... I do give him props for going to extreme lengths to make her happy, not only in their personal relationship, but her overall circumstances, and the other things that matter to her. you're not last but i wasn't sad when the plane crashed either :/

7. barnabas collins canon status: 8.5/10 is this a real relationship ... i don't really know. i'm not sure the participants know. barnabas thinks it is and i guess they were technically engaged to be married at some point but that's only towards the goal of using her to vividly hallucinate his dead girlfriend so does that count. I will say in their favor it was extremely funny that she had to drive the getaway car for her own kidnapping/elopement/vamp enthrallment because he can't drive. honestly that was the only part of this whole situation i enjoyed. also when she married jeff and he sighed and put his head in his hands he was real for that. they're actually pretty compatible and would be amazing friends ... or like, they could host a podcast together, or something. not this.

8. jeffpeter clarkbradford canon status: 10/10 such a shitty boyfriend that roger collins opened his third eye to warn her that marrying him is the greatest mistake of her life. his only job in the entire world is to make sure that vicki does not hang for witchcraft and he fails multiple times. possibly the most annoying man on the planet. what if we gave a ken doll the personality of a republican congressional aide and he's played by an actor that is reviled by his castmates. comes to the future on the power of wanting to fuck vicki i guess and to spite me, specifically, who's very tired of seeing him, and makes her have a car accident where she could have died. kisses reincarnated french serial killers in the yard days before their big wedding. leaves her at the altar to go play in the dirt in the graveyard. later marries her in a shotgun ceremony at 3 in the morning and then vanishes back into The Past. after literally driving her to suicide, takes her to be with him in The Past where she hangs, again, and then dies off the cliff. TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO.

[corvidiss]

[ID: A set of digital sketches. The first is a knee-up illustration of Elizabeth Webster from before on the right, and my (corvidiss's) detective – Emery – from before on the left, in colour. Elizabeth’s shirt is partially untucked and there’s a blue stain on the breast pocket. She has one hand in her beige coat’s pocket and the other is at her side holding a cigarette. The other detective is wearing a shirt, black tie, and dark grey long coat. She is smoking a cigar and carrying a brown briefcase. They are looking at one another with somewhat furrowed brows.

The next image has a set of uncoloured line drawings in blue ink. On the left is Emery sitting on a low spinny desk chair, leaning back with her elbows on the backrest. Elizabeth is kneeling next to her, partially obscured by Emery’s knees, tending to a bandage around Emery’s stomach. “Homoerotic wound tending for the people” is next to this. On the right at the top, Emery is sitting behind a desk and leaning back, her left elbow resting on the desk and a cigar in that hand. A speech bubble shows her saying “So what you’re saying is the night after you write out your entire will to your cats, all four of them went missing?” Pulling back the curtain behind Emery to peer round is Elizabeth, who says, “It was the butler.” Emery then says, “Get your own damn case!” to which Elizabeth responds, “This is literally the plot of the Aristocats.” The bottom of the image has Emery and Elizabeth sat on the floor, leaning against one another with Elizabeth’s head on Emery’s shoulder. This one has the “pov you and ur shit partner fall asleep on the job” text above it. End ID.]

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OMG,,,, I LOVE THEM!!!!!! Your art my absolute beloved it is SO texture OMG

EMERY IS AN AWESOME NAME I'LL TAKE IT!!!!! Also I thought Nicholson as a surname? Emery Nicholson Vibes. (Feel like her middle name would have some links to wherever her family line(s) is/are from (tho she'd be several generations removed from that having lived in this grungy shit ass city her whole life), but idk where that would be and wouldn't have the cultural context to decide on a name so that'll have to stay Concept™ for now lol.)

I've been thinking about these two a Lot since you posted this and also thought of Emery helping take care of Liz's kids and just rotating that concept in my brain a whole bunch. Emery is a disaster and does not know how to children but she sure as shit is gonna try and is fiercely protective of them (but also like, lets them play with lighters and knives under supervision and stuff, cos Life Experience and all that).

Man if I had remotely any sufficient understanding of the genre and context I'd try to write this but I really don't lmao

(ALSO I am so sorry for not tagging you, i forgot how tumblr works rip. speaking of, @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis, @tartrazeen, @casual-owl, @mist-the-wannabe-linguist, y'all showed interest in the past and i think you lot might like this awesome addition!! i feel like there were others too but i forget... (apologies if the tag annoys you). also gonna tag you @acarillustrated in case tumblr hides this reblog from you or smth fdsjkfds)

equal rights for women will never truly be achieved until we have more female noir detectives