#I'll keep track for another year or two to see if she fixes it

[billybob598]

More Than You Know (Leah Williamson x Reader)

All right! So this is a F1 reader x Leah fic requested by anon. Again any feedback good or bad is welcomed! I'm sorry if there's lots of f1 talk and some don't get it. I have another f1 fic coming up but other than that nothing else so, if people want to start sending me requests, please do! I'll get more into that later. Anyways, enjoy!

Word Count: 2.1K (That's what Docs said anyways)

Set at Abu Dhabi GP, end of 2023

Thursday

“Hello everyone, and welcome to the final press conference of the 2023 Formula 1 season.” You fix your shirt as you settle into the seat. Max Verstappen, your teammate, on your left with Charles Leclerc beside him.

“Question for Y/N and Max, heading into the final race of the season the title battle is close between the two of you. What kind of mindset do you have for one of the most important races in your career?”

“To win,” Max says simply. All the reporters let out a laugh as you crack a smile.

“Y/N?” The guy who asked the question prompts you.

“Uh, well, I mean for sure to win is the goal but, trying to just stay calm and do what I’ve done for the last twenty-two races,” you explain. After a few more minutes of questions, they let you go. Walking through the paddock and into the Red Bull garage you can’t help but let your mind spiral. This was your first championship battle, this was Max’s third. You were only 22 years old, if you won on Sunday you’d be the youngest-ever F1 champion and the first-ever female champion. You knew you had to be a little lucky on race day, considering you sat five points behind Max. 

Entering your driver room you’re met with your girlfriend, Leah Williamson.

“Hey babe, what are you doing now?” She asks you, watching as you pace back and forth across the room.

“Track walk, I think.” 

“Okay, well I’m going to meet up with Alex in a couple of minutes so, I’ll see you later, yeah?” She presses a small kiss on your forehead. 

“Okay, yeah, see you later,” 

Friday

You loved racing around Yas Marina Circuit, it had just the right amount of technical corners and overtaking opportunities. You loved the lights and going underneath the hotel. Probably the worst part of it though, was the heat. Sitting in your car you feel like you’re going to die from the heat. Sweat just keeps pouring from every pore on your body, making your race suit damp. At the end of Free Practice 2 you were the fastest overall. This gives you a little bit of confidence, your race pace also seemed to be pretty strong so these were all good signs. Leah watches as you take your crash helmet and balaclava off, trying your best to fix your sweaty hair. You looked hot, and Leah was living for it.

“You’re drooling,” Alex, who happened to be right beside her, said. Leah shakes out of her trance enough to give Alex a light slap on the shoulder. 

“Whatever mate, if you had a girlfriend as hot as mine you’d be drooling as well.”

A couple of hours later, after all the media was done and the sponsor dinner was finished, you and Leah finally were able to settle into bed. Leah’s arm draped over you and her head nuzzled into your neck. She was just about to doze off when you spoke very quietly into the darkness,

“Would you be mad at me if I didn’t win?” Of course, Leah knew you were nervous, who in their right mind wouldn’t be? But, for you to think that she would be angry with you if you finished second? That was terrible.

“Of course not, love, I’d be sad for you, sure, but mad? Never.” This seems to calm you down a bit, and soon enough you both are sleeping soundly.

Saturday

“Good luck kiss?”  Your favourite blonde questions. It was a tradition in your relationship, whenever either of you were participating in a sporting event you had to make sure you kissed just before it started. 

“Of course,”  you say with a smile, not that she can see it. Your helmet already on with your visor up so she can see your eyes. Leah kisses where she imagines your lips are, you can’t help the dopey smile that comes across your face, the squint of your eyes making it obvious what you’re doing.

Leah watches on as your car pulls out of the garage and onto the track. After making it through both Q1 and Q2 easily now comes the biggest test, the top 10 shootout. Your banker lap for Q3 is solid, only six-hundredths of Max’s time and you know you can improve. As you cross the line to start your second flying lap you feel the adrenaline rush through your veins. Every turn of the steering wheel, every push of the pedals, and every G against your body feels just right. Heading into the final sector you know you’re going faster than your first lap. Crossing the line, your entire body relaxes as you hear your engineer over the radio,

“Okay mate, that’s P1 so far, P1 so far, but Max is yet to cross the line.” You wait anxiously for Max to finish his lap. Leah feels her heart sink as she sees Max’s name move above yours on the timing screen. 

“For fuck’s sake, fuck this shit, honestly,” you say over the radio.

“It’s okay Y/N, points come tomorrow,” your engineer replies.

“You’re right, you’re right, let’s get them tomorrow.”

Leah gives you a hug when she finally sees you after all the media and post-qualifying traditions.

“You did great love, don’t be too hard on yourself,” she says sweetly. You sigh, knowing she is right.

“Mhm, I’m not that happy but I’ll get over it. I think right now all I wanna do is go back to the hotel and cuddle with you,” you mutter with a little pout. Leah finds this adorable. So, when you guys do get back to the hotel she cuddles with you until you fall asleep, only hours before one of the most important races of your life.

Sunday

When you wake up you feel the nerves settle inside of you. Leah tried her best to get you to eat something before your race. Abu Dhabi was a night race so, you still had the whole day ahead of you. After going through the pre-race meetings with your engineers you feel pretty confident in the strategy for today. As you walk around the grid with the music in your headphones blasting you see your girlfriend walking towards you. Slipping one side of your ear so you can hear, you give her a questioning look. She never usually comes onto the grid before races, why would she now? 

“I just wanted to wish you good luck,” Leah says kindly, “I know you’re nervous, but don’t be, you’re gonna smash it out there.” Your heart melts at her consideration.

“Thanks Lee, I’ll do you proud I swear,” you say, looking at her with what can only be described as heart-eyes. 

“You already have, more than you know,” she smiles at you, giving one last kiss on your lips before heading back to the garage.

A couple of minutes later, you’re sitting inside your car mentally preparing yourself for the race. The entire formation lap your mind is blank, trying your best to not overthink. As you park in your grid slot as close to a billion people watch with their breaths held.

“And it’s lights out and away we go for the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix!” Crofty exclaims into his microphone.

You get a good start drawing alongside Max heading into the first corner, but he pushes you wide. As the pair of you continue to the first of two long straights, you follow closely behind him gaining a slipstream. When you enter the braking zone you decide to go for a dive bomb, getting your elbows out a little to barge past your teammate and take the lead. 

“She can’t fucking do that, mate. She pushed me off the track,” Max voices to GP.

“If Max has a problem with that, then he can cry in a crib, that was clean.”

As the race gets past halfway done, both you and Max had made pit stops, while also exchanging the lead of the race multiple times. Leah had about chewed her entire nail off watching. She was nervous as hell, she could feel something bad about to happen, she just knew it in her gut. 

You once again closed up to the rear end of Max with DRS. As you got close enough to pass you slightly jerked out to the left before cutting back to the right, effectively dummying him. You were on the outside heading into the sweeping left-hander of Turn 9, you tried your best to give him space, but he completely misses the apex and rams into your front wheel/side of your car. Your neck whips to the side as you try to keep control of your car. 

“What the fuck was that?! What a fucking idiot, I gave him shitloads of space! Is there any damage on the car?” You are pretty much yelling into the radio. The anger you’re feeling showing through your choice of words.

“So, major front wing damage we are going to have to box. Box, box.” Swearing under your breath you pull into the pit lane for new tyres and a new front wing. Stopping on your marks you sit there for what feels like forever before finally getting the green light and getting back on track. Leah knows you are fuming but she also knows that you’re very good at turning that anger into motivation. She readies herself for a wild end to the race.

“Okay, so the gap to Max is 30 seconds.”

“Just leave me alone, I know what to do,” you say sternly.

For the next 24 laps, you put in of the most impressive comebacks in F1 history. Closing the gap a little bit each lap. You fully catch up to him on the final lap of the race. The entire world sits on the edge of their seat as you stick right up to Max’s gearbox for the majority of the lap. Entering the final sector, you find the gap to stick your nose down. Making an unorthodox move down the inside into Turn 12. When it becomes clear that you stuck the move your side of the garage goes crazy. Leah screams, thinking it is too good to be true. As you head around the final corner, the Red Bull mechanics hang off the side of the fence cheering and yelling as you cross the finish line. 

“She’s redefined motorsport as we know it, and as she crosses the line Y/N Y/L/N is CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!” Crofty shouts. 

“AAAHHHH OH MY GODDDD! YESSS GUYS COME ON! I’M GONNA FUCKING CRY!” You scream over the radio. 

“YOU” VE DONE IT MATE! YOU’VE DONE IT! GOOD LORD!” Your engineer screams back at you. You start to cry as you go around for your celebration lap. When you park in front of the number 1 sign you take a minute inside of your car to collect your thoughts. Finally, you get out and stand on top of the car, raising your arms in celebration. You jump down and start sprinting to your team. After receiving multiple hugs and slaps on the back, mixed with a varying range of screams and yells, you decide to look for your girlfriend. Looking around you spot your favourite person on Earth and make a beeline for her. She pulls you into a bone-crunching hug, tears streaming down her face. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you, more than you know,” she says tearfully. You give her an award-winning smile before moving to take your helmet and balaclava off. You surprise Leah when you connect your lips in front of God knows how many cameras. 

“I’m a World Champion Lee, a World Champion.”

“I know Y/N, I know,” she giggles at how excited you look. After completing the post-race interview you make your way to the podium.

“And your Abu Dhabi Grand Prix winner and 2023 World Champion, Y/N Y/L/N!” 

The crowd and paddock below you roar as you make your way onto the podium, pumping your fists with joy. Stepping onto the top step of the podium, a sense of relief washes over you, everything you’d worked for this entire season, your entire life basically, had finally paid off. You take your cap off when your national anthem plays and begin to scan through the crowd until you meet blue ones. You give her a grin and blow her a kiss. She returns it. When you are finally handed your first-place trophy you raise it high with a little yell. After the rest of the podium is handed their trophies, you get to your favourite part, the champagne. Spraying it in every possible place, you can’t stop the stupid-looking smile from taking over your facial features. When the celebrations seem to die down a little you look over at Leah, mouthing,

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she mouths back.

“More than you know.”

[twoidiotwriters1]

Until The Very End —(WITS Sequel)

A/N: I'm always going to miss them -Danny Words: 3,668 Masterlist Previous chapter Listen to: 'Don't You Worry' -by Oh Wonder

2017

Grimmauld Place was unrecognizable. The curtains had been changed, the windows washed, the furniture fixed or replaced, the bedrooms remodelled, and most important of all, the portrait of Mrs Black had been removed after several attempts and replaced with a family picture including Sultens, Potters, Weasleys, Lupins, Flints, and a very grumpy-looking Aberforth.

Regulus had changed the darkness into light, the house that once was gloomy and claustrophobic was now open and welcoming, and Mel's chest swelled with a strange mix of feelings. Sirius would've loved living in this version of the place, he would've loved getting to know his son.

"Oi! If you've finished standing there like a statue would you help me deal with this thing?" Regulus called, holding the family tapestry, now just a ragged piece of rubbish. The house's magic had weakened throughout the years, and Mel and Regulus had no problem getting rid of it all.

"You'll throw it away?" Mel asked.

The young man raised a brow. "Why should I keep it? My dad's not in it."

"Well, no... but your uncle Regulus is."

"He's the only one that matters, but it's not worth keeping the whole thing."

"Don't you care about tracking your legacy and whatnot?"

"Legacy?" Reg makes a face. "The names on this left nothing worth remembering, nothing but cruelty and war. Besides, none of them raised me—if I care about tracking legacy, all I have to do is look up."

He nodded at the picture hanging in the middle of the main staircase, where their friends and family were waving and laughing with each other. Mel felt another tug in her tummy and she choked back a sob. Regulus looked at her. "What's that about?"

She shook her head. "I'm getting old, I think. Memories are turning dangerous... they always were, but now they're really starting to weigh on me."

His expression turned to concern. "What's the matter, Mely?"

"Oh, Leon," she cried softly. "I know your father, wherever he is, loves every bit of the man you've become. He'd be so proud to see what you've done, the man you are..." She pulled out a handkerchief. "I spent so much time with him and you so little..."

Mel paused, realizing Sirius had said something awfully similar to her and Harry about two decades ago. The thought, so specific and comforting, made her laugh. Regulus scoffed. "Mel, I think you've gone off the rocker..."

"Sorry, sorry," she said, half-crying and half-grinning. "I just remembered something." Mel hugged her brother, almost as tall as her but not quite yet. "I understand so much now that I'm his age... actually, I'm a year older than he was when he died..."

Regulus tilted his head. "And how does that feel?"

"Well, exactly like when I turned older than my dad," she responds. "I'm grateful I get to be here and see all of this, I'll be able to tell our dads their sacrifices were worth it."

"And once you're with them, I'll live some more and then tell you all about it," Regulus smiled, unaffected by his sister's mood. 

Mel wasn't surprised, he'd been his own person long enough that she knew her brother was a man in charge of his emotions, that somehow, he'd learned from his father's mistakes through her sister's stories, and he'd grown up to be a strong and determined man, full of his family's courage and lacking all of their cracks.

"I'm home, pup!" Teddy Lupin's voice came from the hallway. "Emily's here!"

Regulus scowled. Perhaps he didn't lack all cracks, jealousy was alive and well. "Why is my girlfriend with you?"

"Relax your wand-hold," Teddy's grinning face showed up followed by Emily Flint, rosy-cheeked and sheepish after Regulus confidently called her his girlfriend. "We ran into each other at the front door. Hi, Auntie!"

"Evening, Teddy," she beamed. "Hi, Emie, you came here alone?"

"I apparated," she announced proudly.

"You did?" Regulus wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek. "You're so clever."

Teddy rolled his eyes and walked past them. "Where's Abe and Uncle Harry?"

"Upstairs fixing the attic," Mel pointed up with a smile. "I left you boys dinner in the oven."

"You're the best!" Teddy rushed upstairs, almost tripping on his own foot. "I'll go get the others!"

"This house is beautiful!" Emily commented in awe. "I can't believe it's the place from Dad's stories..."

"Yeah, I was born here," Regulus said, sounding pleased. "One day our kids will too."

Emily's face flushed as she looked up with horror. "We've been dating for a week!"

Regulus smirked, and just then he looked strikingly like his father. "I know what I want."

"Don't let him scare you, he's always been a talker," Mel rolled her eyes. "Except during his first two years, I miss those times."

Regulus pulled her in and playfully wrestled with her. Despite the 16-year age gap, he'd always treated her as if they were equals, and Mel couldn't say she minded, for years she'd wanted a sibling and she cherished every moment shared with Regulus like a rare jewel. 

Their laughter was interrupted by a sharp whistle and they stopped, swiftly breaking the fight when they spotted Aberforth at the top of the stairs. Time had taken much of his ruggedness and left only a severe-looking ancient man. However, time had also softened him around the edges enough to allow Regulus to call him grandad just like Mel did, and enough to visit Mel and her children almost every weekend.

"Behave," he scolded them, though there was a glint of amusement in his eyes that reminded Mel of her uncle Dumbledore. "You're too old to be rolling around like toddlers."

"We weren't rolling around," Regulus argued. "I was choking her."

"That makes it sound way better," Harry replies sarcastically, helping Aberforth down the stairs. He didn't need to help, but Aberforth also reminded Harry of Dumbledore, and even if they weren't the same person, he felt in debt with both men. All he had was thanks to the Dumbledores, especially Mel, and that was the most important piece in his life.

"Well, we should get going," Mel went to get her coat and Harry's. "It's late and we're expecting the Grangers for dinner—that, I can't stand another minute of knowing the kids are home alone—Merlin knows they could blow up the entire house if they realize no one's there to stop them..."

Regulus laughed. "Have a guy night, then. Not you, Abe, you're staying!"

The old man stopped looking startled. "What nonsense is that?"

"Come on, gran, humour us a bit!" Reg walked up to him and patted his shoulder, gently guiding him to the kitchen. "It's my sister's cooking anyway, so you can't say you won't like it!"

"Yeah, Abe, stay and tell us your pub stories," Teddy grinned and attempted to lean on the bannister, but toppled over and stabbed his ribcage with the end of it.

Emily rushed forward and clicked her tongue. "You klutz have to be protected in bubble wrap— that's gonna leave a bruise..." Both kids—kids? Mel and Harry never felt as such at their age—turned and spoke at Harry and Mel. "Good night!"

"Bye, dears!" Mel called. "Bye, Gran! See you next Sunday!"

"Come on," Harry said taking her to the entrance. "Time to go home."

They left Grimmauld Place and Mel offered her hand to Harry so they could disapparate together, but Harry stood there, watching her with a soft smile. "What?" She asked with a hesitant grin.

"It's a lovely evening," he said. "Care to walk?"

"Walk home?" Mel raised a brow.

"For a while," Harry shrugged. "Then we can go for a train ride, and we'd still make it home before dinner. The kids will be fine, they're clever and good just like their mother." 

The woman hesitated, looking at the setting sun and then back at him. "You sure?"

Harry smiled and took her hand. He felt safe out in the open, he realized, he'd never felt like that. "Let's walk."

Harry heard children's voices coming from the drawing room as soon as he got home, and eager to see his kids, he followed them, only to be met with his son Matthew and Amy Flint, the youngest of Erick's daughters, closely huddled up while looking at one of Mel's old photo albums.

"Is that really your grandmother?" Amy was asking in awe. "She looks like Lily!"

"It's the other way around," Matthew replied wisely. "Lily looks a lot like my grandmother."

"She's so pretty!" Amy continued, unbothered by his dry teasing. "And both of your grandfathers were very handsome!"

"James looks like my mum's dad," Matthew commented. "Does that mean you think my brother's handsome?"

Amy huffed, unable to stay indifferent to his jabs. "Your brother is too silly and loud."

"You forgot ugly."

They snickered and put their heads together while changing the page, eagerly examining their parents's younger versions. Harry stood there in silence, and a strange pull of familiarity stirred. Amy with her soft brown locks, and Matthew, with his inky tufts of wild hair standing up in all directions just like his father's.

He could see himself, many years in the past, huddled up and reading Mel's fairy tales in her mother's drawing room, snickering at their own jokes, making fun of Dudley by comparing him to every odd-looking character. Had it been that long ago? It felt like an entire lifetime apart, the Harry in those memories wasn't him, but an entirely different human, certainly not Matthew's father.

"My dad doesn't have pictures of himself from when he was younger," Amy said after a while. "Your parents are lucky to have so many."

Lucky.

What a strange concept, the luckier people in comparison. But he felt it too, looking back on things. The tidbits of his childhood shared with Mel and Emily had outlived the bad ones, and his memories of Hogwarts, despite all the madness, never failed to bring a warmth to his chest that could cure any heartache.

He stepped forward, politely clearing his throat. "Shouldn't you two be packing for school?"

Matthew gave a start and looked up, his emerald eyes sparkling with affection. "Dad!" He left the photo album and rushed to welcome his father, wrapping his arms around the man's waist.

Harry chuckled and happily reciprocated. "Excited for tomorrow?"

"He's worried," Amy stated out loud.

"Oi!" The boy scolded her, glaring at her the same way Harry would whenever Mel put him on the spot. Matthew brushed it off, looking at his dad. "It's nothing, I'll be alright."

Harry decided not to push it. If Matthew said he could handle it, Harry wouldn't doubt him. He looked every bit like Harry but on the inside he was all Mel, and both hated it when people didn't believe them, or trusted in their word. "Very well. Then put that back where it was and we can walk Amy home."

"Mr Potter, your pictures are very pretty," Amy said while Matthew took the album.

"Thanks. I'll let Mel know, she took most of them," he disclosed. "She was lousy at first, but with time she learned and took some of the nicest pictures of our friends and us in Hogwarts. Are you excited to go?"

"Very," Amy smiled giddily. "Dad says I stink of lion."

Harry hesitated, unsure how to respond. "Yes, well, your dad has an interesting choice of words for a house he loved a bit more than snakes used to at our time studying there."

"Oh, he isn't mad about it, not like I'm the first to go there anyway," Amy brushed it off, having inherited her mother's lighthearted demeanour. "I should go, Josie and Eliot are probably stressing Dad by packing everything wrong on purpose."

Mel and Harry woke up on time that year. They rounded up their children and had them ready before nine, then sat together for breakfast as a family, chatting about the year to come, and giving the twins advice on the subjects they choose for their third year. Mel had to talk Emmeline out of adopting a mandrake, apparently one of her Hufflepuff friends liked to raise them at home during the summer.

"Is it a Hufflepuff thing, wanting to mother every odd living critter on the planet?" Mel huffed while taking the luggage to their car.

Harry laughed. "It's a Sultens trait, my love."

Lily clung to her siblings for as long as they allowed it. Her pout was so pathetic and touching Matthew didn't push her away as they reached the station, waiting for their parents to put every trunk in a cart. Everyone was there to wish Matthew John Potter, Amy Flint and Rose Granger-Weasley good luck on their first year at Hogwarts.

"You'll be going too," Harry eased his youngest daughter. "Be patient."

"A year," Lily bemoaned. "I want to go now!"

"Why is everyone always here?" Groaned James.

Mel looked down at him with surprise. "You don't want everyone to wish you a nice year?"

"They make such a fuss over it, and we're only going to school," he argued.

Mel smiled. "It means a lot to everyone. We went to that school, and now our kids are going. You'll understand one day."

James huffed, terribly vexed as any kid when they hear the ever-mysterious assurance that one day all the secrets of adulthood will be revealed. One day, much too far from reach for a thirteen-year-old.

As they made their way through the crowded station and crossed the barrier, James and Emmeline were quick to rush past their parents in search of their friends. "Look at that, they couldn't get away fast enough," Harry commented.

"Oh, they're not gone yet," Mel dismissed it. "The greetings to their friends stall the farewell to us."

Lily sobbed. "I don't want to be left alone! Amy's leaving this year too, I'll have no one to play with or have slumber parties!"

"You can invite your friends from school," Mel offered.

"I hate having to lie to my friends, and if I bring them home I'll have to hide our magic!" Lily complained.

"You won't be alone, Lily, you'll have us," Harry said, though that was a small comfort for the little girl.

"You and Hugo can ask Reg and Teddy to let you have slumber parties at Grimmauld Place." Mel was quick to fix it. That quieted the girl long enough for them to reach Ron and Hermione. 

"Look," Ron said, abandoning all discretion as he stared at some point far ahead. Draco Malfoy and his wife Astoria were sending their only son off to school. Draco spotted them as well, and he nodded in recognition before turning his back. "So that's little Scorpius..."

"Matthew," Mel's gaze lingered on the frail-looking child who got on the train, all alone. "You be kind to that boy, I'm afraid he'll have a hard time."

"Rose," Ron turned to his daughter. "You make sure you beat him at every test."

"Ron!" Hermione scolded him. "Don't go around turning them against each other!"

"I'm not! I never said she should mock him, did I? Just keep him humble..."

Mel rolled her eyes. "That poor boy has had enough humbling inherited from both, his granddad and his father."

"Besides," Harry added, "Draco's almost tolerable nowadays."

Ron snorts. "You never seen him."

Harry grinned. "Exactly."

Hermione and Mel shared an exasperated look but decided to drop the subject. Matthew took the opportunity of his sister leaving to sulk with Hugo, and shared his worries with his parents. "You'll write to me, won't you?"

"Every day."

"James said I should be mindful of Thestrals or they'll bite my arm off."

"Thestrals are gentle beings, and they usually don't bother those who can't see them anyway," Harry eased him. "Remember Hagrid invited you for tea this Friday, take Amy and Rose with you if you can—otherwise Rose will develop Hermione's ill habit of drowning in books."

"Stay as far as you can from Peeves, and please, do not pick fights on your first week of school, that temper of yours could get you in serious trouble," Mel added.

"Mum," Matthew's face grew worried. "What if I lose control of my magic the more I use it? I'm not as good as you at keeping it in."

Mel's expression softened. "Keeping things in isn't the solution, Matty. If you feel like your magic is getting out of control, talk to McGonagall. And that new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I heard she's quite good. You don't have to be as good as anyone else, just be kind to yourself."

Harry crouched and placed a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. "Whatever happens, Matt, you'll always have us. You have Uncle Neville and Hagrid in the castle, your brother and sister, the Flints, the Weasleys—and your great-grandfather lives near the castle, remember? It'll be alright."

"Besides, you'll make new friends too," Mel beamed, excited for her son's endless possibilities. "Enjoy Hogwarts for us, won't you? We miss it."

"You do?" Matthew made a face. "It's just a school, home is much better."

Harry and Mel paused, hit with the strong revelation. For their kids, Hogwarts would be school, and home was them. Harry managed an earnest smile. "Either way, you'll enjoy it. Make sure to cheer for James and Emmeline during their quidditch tryouts, alright?"

"Who should I cheer for when Gryffindor and Hufflepuff play against each other?"

"Whoever's losing," Mel said humorously.

"Alright," Matthew smiled, genuinely this time. "I'll do that. And I'll be kind to Scorpius Malfoy as well, mum, like you were to Uncle Erick. I'll tell Rose not to humble him too badly."

Mel laughed and kissed his forehead. "That's my boy."

"Matt!" Emmeline and James showed up, ruffled and flushed after going through the attentions of a dozen different relatives. "Grandma Mily says you have to go and say goodbye before we leave!" The girl ordered.

Harry hugged his son one last time before he went to meet the rest of the fussing adults. James walked up to his mother with a face of deep disapproval. "I saw Uncle Reg and Teddy snogging Victoire Weasley and Emily Flint. Is every man in this family losing their minds?"

Harry chuckled. "One day you might, too. I was your age when I fell in love with your mother."

James looked positively grossed out by the thought. "Never!"

Emmeline glanced at him with a little smile. "Dad, I saw him blush when Alice Longbottom waved at him from the train."

James drew out his wand. "Shut it!"

"Oi! Are you joking?" Mel snatched his wand. "Don't try to get expelled before the year even starts!"

James mumbled an apology after sending a glare at his twin sister, warning her of the war to come. "Sorry."

"All ready?" Ron approached them again with Hermione close behind, fixing her daughter's robes. "Hop in you lot," he sighed. "I envy you lot, the feast that's waiting for you... I sure miss it."

"They don't make the mashed potatoes like mum does," James dismissed it. "I like those better."

Matthew came back a second time to hug his little sister and promised to write to her every day, then told his parents he would write the very next morning, and they knew he meant it.

Remus and Mel's mother approached them, both with a nostalgic gleam in their eyes. "And that's your third kid going to school," the man said proudly. "You've done a remarkable job raising them."

Harry took Mel's hand. "They've done us a greater favour by coming to our lives."

"Lily! Harry!" Mel walked out the garden door calling for her husband and daughter. "Dinner is ready!"

"Mum!" The girl was making a flower crown for his father, seated next to her on a blanket. "Can we have dinner outside?"

"Outside?"

"A picnic!" The girl offered giddily. "Please? It'll start to snow soon, and we won't be able to until next year!"

Harry looked at Mel as pleadingly as their daughter, and the woman could hear his thoughts perfectly. Let her have this. "Alright," she gave in. "Come help me carry out the food, then."

Harry and Lily went to work, talking animatedly and making Mel laugh, because they both adored the woman's laughter. Lily was as good as Harry had always been at distracting Mel, or talking her way out of everything, really. Mel could see the girl's future for next year, the hat would barely graze her forehead before yelling "RAVENCLAW!".

Funny how it worked, four kids each going to a different Hogwarts house despite having the same upbringing, or perhaps because of it. James in Gryffindor, Emmeline in Hufflepuff, Matthew in Slytherin, and Lily, if Mel was correct, in Ravenclaw. And Mel Dumbledore was never wrong.

She shared these thoughts with Harry while Lily napped quietly on his chest, the three of them still on the picnic blanket. "Why do you think that is, our children ending up so different from each other?"

"Dunno," Harry's voice was gentle and quiet to not wake the girl in his arms. "We never forced them to fit into things—we only wanted them to be happy."

Mel looked at Lily, peacefully asleep knowing she was safe in the company of her parents. Mel's chest tightened once more, for the things she never had, that she would never know, and that her children had never considered could ever be missing.

"You told me once before that I would grow to like silence," she said. "One day, after years of hard work, after handling enough nonsense, making endless cups of tea—or picnic dinners for our daughter," her eyes lit up, "I would find myself happy and at ease in the silence of our home."

Harry reached for her hand. "And?"

"I've made my peace with the silence," she admitted, squeezing his hand and staring at the girl between them, knowing the rest of her kids were just as happy, that they were always happy, and they would never know the kind of solitude that plagued their childhood. "I understand why my mother did so too, after my dad died."

Harry pressed a soft kiss on the top of Lily's head. "I do too," he confessed. "I didn't know, but something in me could see them in you. What we could have, if we fought for it."

Mel let out a soft, teary chuckle and nodded, then spoke what had been running through her mind since leaving their kids at the station. "We're home, Glasses."

"I know," he said, locking eyes with her and sounding slightly choked. "But I knew we'd be, you've always been mine."

"You'll always be mine," she leaned closer and kissed him. "Until the very end."

FIN

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @21bruhs @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle @cedricisnotdead @greengarsstuff @aconfusedslytherin @talksoprettyjjx @avengersz-biotch @23victoria @moonhoonie @raajali3 @peachyaeger @espressopatronum454 @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @na1ven3vy

It's over!! I started writing about 5 years ago and I enjoyed every second of it, I came up with Mel when I was about 10 years old, and since then she's been at the back of my mind, she'll always be at the back of my mind. You may think it's silly since it's just an OC but you know how polluted Harry Potter's story has become, and it simply doesn't spark as much joy as it used to for me, so with Mel, I'm saying goodbye to all of it. I might write a few other one-shots for hidden moments before finally closing the door, but the main story is officially over, and I thank you for reading this lengthy bible and the lovely comments you were nice enough to leave. I will revise the first three books since they need it, so you'll finally get to enjoy a well-written WITS series in the future! lmao

Once again, thank you. And thank you for always being at the back of my mind, Mel.

-Danny

[bberetd]

Now it's YOUR turn for a writing prompt 🫵

💪 - bridal carry with Mario/Daisy (as a ship if that's okay, or as friends if it's not) or Luigi/Daisy if you'd prefer that ship.

OR

🩸 - patching up a wound with Mario/Daisy (ship or friends, whichever you'd prefer doing)

oop 😳

i'll go for 💪 and I'm gonna try Mario/Daisy! They'll still retain the dynamic I established in my headcanons, but add in a pinch of pining Daisy (and mayhaps a pining Mario ;))

==

Mario knew it would happen. In what world did Daisy think she could drive around Luigi's circuit while standing on her motorcycle? And with her dress? He swore if she weren't as beautiful as she was, he would've been facepalming a lot harder.

Daisy knew exactly what was coming. Mario had been racing on the track with her when the accident happened. He was going to come over and go on and on about telling her so, that she was careless to have steered the motorcycle to the dash panels. She didn't even remember what she was trying to prove. She just knew she had to get up quickly and walk off her injuries before she wouldn't hear the end of it from Mario. But it was too late; she could already hear his distinct footsteps rushing in the grass.

"Daisy-"

"I'm fine. I just..." Daisy grabbed onto the nearby fence, squeezing her eyes shut at the surprisingly great effort it took to stand up. Why does it hurt so much? Where's my crown? Is Mario gone? Please go away, Mario.

Daisy heard a dreaded crack coming from her leg. Shit-

Daisy's knees buckled, and she collapsed onto the ground once again. She didn't even want to see the damage waiting for her underneath her skirts. She grumbled more expletives, sitting back up to go for attempt number two. But before she could do so, she felt one arm around her waist, and another go under her legs, easily lifting her up from the ground. She looked up to come face-to-face with Mario, a little too close. But she supposed Mario didn't feel the same, because he just smiled gently at her.

"You can ask for help, you know. I'm not in your life just for decoration."

Daisy blinked a few times before hesitantly bringing her arms around Mario's shoulders. She strangely found it hard to tear her eyes away from those royal blue eyes. "Eh heh... right."

Mario's smile grew. He adjusted Daisy in his arms, pulling her closer. "Come on. I'm taking you to your castle to get ya fixed up."

"On foot?" Daisy's eyes widened. "Sarasaland is practically lightyears away from here!"

"Won't be a problem. I've walked further." Boy have I walked further. "Besides, you're lighter than a feather."

Daisy gawked. "I am not! I am perfectly in the range of weight for women my age." She huffed, crossing her arms. "You're just strong as hell for no reason."

"D'aww, you think I'm strong?" Mario cooed, getting close to Daisy's face to tease her. "Am I your big, strong, dashing cavalier?"

Daisy's face became a brighter red at the closer proximity of their faces. She hissed and turned her head, pretending to frantically claw at his face to back him up. "Never in a billion years! Caviar is disgusting! Sushi is way better."

Mario stifled a laugh, forgetting she didn't know the meaning of the word. He noticed that she didn't exactly deny what he said before that, but he'd keep that to himself for now; he had a hurt princess in his arms. "Okay then, Princess. I'll be your big and strong sushi. And by the way, I'm taking you on my kart, not walking. Seems all logic escaped that pretty little head of yours when you took that hit."

Pretty? Daisy shook her head, willing her face to not be as red as Mario's cap. "Whatever. Just take me back to my castle."

Mario gave Daisy an expectant look with a raised eyebrow.

"....pleeeeeeaaaaseeeeeeeee?"

He smiled, and pulled Daisy close to his chest once again and walking to his kart. Ti ho presa, bellezza.

[gamesception]

Done with Utena for now, but I had fun trying to post something near daily and would like to try to keep that up. Given my track record I'll likely not get very far, but I didn't think I'd finish the rgu read, so who knows. I've got a few ideas, but I also have to take like a week to get out from under the minis-painting commission, so in the mean time why not a poll to see which idea I should go with? explanations under the cut:

Cass Cain project: Cassandra Cain was my favorite comic book superhero, and DC bungling her character back in the day was what got me out of comics altogether. She has since been revived as a new character after a reboot or two, but while I tried I was never quite able to get back into the later version of her, and around the time of the Birds of Prey movie I started a project looking back at her comic appearances more or less in order to try and put into words what I liked about the character back in the day and why later reinterpretations of the character didn't quite hit that same note, for me at least. I put it on intermission at some point and promised to come back with a look at the 'Shadow of the Batgirl' graphic novel, but that book was too long for the too little I had to say about it, so I never did finish that post and the project stalled out. I have thought on and off about dusting the project off and starting it up again. Now might be a good time to do so.

Dark Souls: I've played Dark Souls before. I had a lot of fun with it, and for a while watched a lot of lore & cut content videos. One of the bits of cut content that really stood out to me was Oscar, Knight of Astora. In game he's the nameless knight that drops the key to you at the start of the Undead Asylum, and later gives you the estus flask before dying, but until relatively late in development he was supposed to survive the asylum and appear repeatedly in the main game, following a sort of parallel path to yours. Ever since hearing about this cut npc quest line, I've kind of wanted to recreate it by naming a new character after Oscar, collecting all his gear early, and then using co-op and pvp features to play out Oscar's narrative in the games of random players online, helping early on before becoming a rival and invader later.

Morrowind: I never did beat Morrowind - just played it until I had completely broken the game by accident (through bartering if you'd believe it) and sort of lost interest after that. The game's a classic that deserves a better run than that.

Fallout: New Vegas: Another project I started but failed to finish, multiple times over. But maybe third time's the charm for Bethany? I had a lot of fun with New Vegas but the liveblog got bogged down because I ended up playing too far ahead. If I just post thoughts or updates to where I am currently instead of trying to create a continuous narrative of the entire run that shouldn't happen.

Hollow Knight: I've done all the Hollow Knight Achievements on both Switch and Playstation, but on PC my record's sitting at a shameful 83%. Gotta fix that, plus I kind of want to replay it again before the release of the sequel, which I'm still thinking will be later this year.

Cyberpunk/Nier/Sekiro/Disco: Nothing much to say about these, just some games I heard were good and bought on steam that I haven't gotten around to playing yet. At least, not more than just the intro/tutorials.

[emcscared-whumps]

WiJ 2023 - 04: Share Whumperflies Media

WiJ 2023 Navigation Post

A Show/Movie/Book/Series that Gives Me Whumperflies

Honestly? I'm far too picky about whumpees and I don't consume all that much media (especially not these days since i have my own purpose-built character who is capable of hitting just about EVERYTHING I like) to have many items to rave about ^-^'

HOWEVER.

That does not mean that there is nothing :)

I'll go right back to the start, in fact (in rough order)... just keep in mind that I don't watch for whump, and these aren't whump recommendations except for one lmao, they're just what have managed to give me whumperflies in the past.

Cybergirl (2001-02)

An Australian sci-fi superhero T.V. series that was airing in the morning when I was a young kid, maybe 6 or 7, back before I understood how T.V. scheduling worked lol. I don't often get whumperflies from media, but I think this time, I did, and it's actually my earliest memory of whumperflies.

Cy ended up trapped in a Big Fancy House by the Big Bad, Rhyss. It's been many years since I last re-watched the show so I don't remember a whole lot except there was a lot of urgency and a zappy barrier that Cy couldn't pass through, and I definitely got some kind of feeling about that :)

The writing was very average, not very substantial for an older viewer, but it was excellent for a kids' show. There was so much lore that just never got expanded on, and it didn't go particularly hard with the whump :')

H2O Just Add Water (2006-10)

To no one's surprise, I ADORED this series as a kid. My obsession with mer had just started, and honestly, this shit FED ME. This was another Australian show that I watched when I was fairly young (again, 6-7 and onward), but I don't recall watching it when it aired. I instead had a collection of DVDs.

The girls and co got into some pretty interesting hijinks while trying to guard their fishy little secrets, but shit got REAL in season 6 when a marine biologist coworker of the friend of the girls' Lewis managed to leave a sample of their skin/scale in the lab... OOPS.

You can guess where that lead-- the scientist trying to track down the owner of the magic scale that could turn back into skin (somehow lmao, ~magic~), and she eventually trapped the girls in their little grotto with a gate that she had installed at the underwater entrance of their grotto spot on Mako Island.

Here's where I mention that I did not actually get whumperflies from this lmao, but it was a close one (the scientist didn't go far enough lmao). That's okay though :) One self indulgent decision just under 10 years later sure fixed that :))

Vampire Knight Anime (2008, English Dub aired in Aus in 2011)

The whole show. Every episode. I'm not even kidding. (Well, just about every episode lol, there was maybe only one where I didn't). As many problems as I have with the series, (mainly that every time I see Yuuki or hear her voice I want to strangle her), Zero was just so. fucking. scrunchy-- almost the perfect whumpee ^-^ And the English voice actor does such a glorious job of voicing Zero's pain, the whole series is ABSOLUTELY worth enduring Yuuki's stupidity.

Iirc, my favourite episode was Crimson Chains-- full of spoilers, a lot of plot bits come together at that point, so I can't say much other than that Zero's lost his shit and has a whole big scene where he writhes and pants on the floor with the agony of his hunger. I am convinced the author ALSO liked that XD

I would sit at night and watch that episode over and over and over because man, those whumperflies were something else, super intense, 11/10 lmao

Doctor Who (1963-present)

Nine had that one episode where he got caught by some collector dude and tortured to figure out what made him tick, or rather that he had TWO hearts that made him tick... Fun times, that DEFINITELY gave me whumperflies and had me furtively returning to the episode to keep watching that scene.

A lot of Ten's run had me by the throat, most memorably his regeneration at the start of his run, and his regeneration at the end directly after an hour (approximately) of whump was. AMAZING. I kept coming back to the start and end 😅

There were a couple more times I got whumperflies throughout his run. The main episodes that come to mind are Midnight, set on the planet of sapphires and lethal radiation, and 42, involving a spaceship hurtling toward a sun.

There was only one more whumpy instance, and that was that one movie they made. I forget who, when... EVERYTHING except the dude that played looked like Gene Wilder and it took place on NYE of the new millenium. It was another shitfight with The Master. ANYWAY. The whumperflies were at the START of the movie when The Doctor wasn't doing so well, I think he got shot?? And then rushed to the hospital, all while trying to avoid that and trying to communicate that they'll kill him

Supernatural (2005-20)

Ok. This one is weird in two ways. I forget which episode it was, but it was season 2 where Sam and Dean were trying to kick a group of vampires out of a town, but they were actually cool/chill vampires...?

Or at least some of them were...

ANYWAY.

This other hunter had this vampire chic tied to a chair baaaasically torturing her...? Memory's a bit foggy on what exactly what they were doing (the brainworms wouldn't stop wriggling about AUs), but I got these itty bitty whumperflies from that vampire lady getting hurt. That was weird because 1) I've only had whumperflies off the ladies once before watching Cybergirl which was SO long ago, and 2) I never have had them from watching a side-character, I usually have to be emotionally invested.

Weird right?? Absolutely wild though!

Anyway, that's pretty much everything, even though I've seen and read a fair few things lol, hope you enjoyed my rambling!

[hurryupmerlin]

There's a lot going on in my life and today has been hard, cos I spent all day fighting a mental breakdown. I mean, it was just a question of time, really. I've felt it coming for weeks. But I still wish I could feel something else.

So here's a diary entry in hopes of someday reading it and thinking "man, things have be shit but it turned out just fine after all."

In January I posted my to do list for 2024 here. More than half a year has passed since then and unfortunately nothing from this list is checked off and there has been gradually less good news to report with each new month.

All my life I have never had the stamina to learn an instrument. When I stumbled across Handpans, the opportunity arose to change that. I've since been to two beginner workshops and the organizer was gracious enough to lend me a handpan for a month. I was really motivated to follow through with his 17-days-challenge because I knew if I could manage to play every day, even if it was just a few minutes, I had a real chance of forming a habit and finally fulfilling my dream of mastering an instrument. But my days were long. I set up the handpan a few times at ten o'clock at night or even later, completely exhausted. And then came the executive dysfunction. Every day I see her standing there. Every day I want to play it. Every day something in my head blocks me of setting it up. The fear of having to explain to Pierre that I've only played it 5 times this month eats away at me. I want to play. But I can't. And in four days, the month will be over and I'll have to give it back. He'll then ask me if Handpan isn't for me after all. And I'll say: "Yes, it is. It makes me happy. It's fun. It's healing something inside of me. I can let go of the world when I'm just playing for myself. But my broken ADHD brain won't let me and I don't have the money to buy my own and stash it in the closet for the few times a year that I have the strenght to set it up and play." It feels like losing. Like I missed my one chance for something great, that could've changed me for the better.

When I moved into the house, I had these fantasies of sitting at my desk in my tidy, light-filled beautiful room. Drawing digitally, writing, singing. Painting on canvas and composing music. But my aunt interfered in my life and the building site has been frozen ever since. I live between masking film and plaster dust. I've been incapacitated and feel so powerless and helpless. I want progress. And I want my art back.

And then there's the matter of the dog. That goddamn dog Kröte. My colleague told me there's a technical term for when you make a terribly bad financial decision and then cling to it, pouring more and more money and resources into it in the desperate hope of turning it around. She couldn't remember the term, tho. I could be so happy with just my own dog, but instead I've brought this beast into the house. Because of which my own dog has to spend every day alone at home and because of which my neighbors hate me. Because of which my house stinks of piss and because of which my ears are ringing with barking.

My car has been giving me problems since September last year. I've lost track of how many thousands of euros I've spent trying to get the recurring fault fixed. Something between 4500-6000 euros. Most recently it was in the workshop for a month. What's more, after every repair, another new fault occurs. I can't take any more. Emotionally and financially. My aunt's friend is urging me to take it back to his garage. But I thought I'd made myself clear when I said "if it's not fixed this time, I'll keep driving it until the engine fails and I break down." I was supposed to bring my car over today. Which of course I wasn't told directly again, but via the old game of wisper down the lane. Which I said before I will not accept any longer. I put my cell phone on airplane mode afterwards. I can't do it anymore. It's Saturday and I finally needed a day off. I've been borrowing spoons from the future for days - my body told me very clearly that I had overspent.

Things aren't going well at work either. It's not news that we're bankrupt. But the way our bosses and colleagues treat us graphic designers is now unacceptably disrespectful. I am the only employee left who is still interested in contributing her own ideas in order to offer the company advantages and new opportunities. That makes me stand out - in a negative way. Because thinking along might officially be required, but since it also shows where the problems lie, it's actually unwanted. The very real fear of losing my job while being in debt so badly is gnawing on me every day. I am on the hit list. They just need me to finish a few projects first.

Despite all this I cling to hope.

[sailsinstorms]

Legacy of the Girls - Part 10

Let's continue reading, shall we?

So last update it was WinterFest. The girls had a good time and it was a surprisingly PG holiday, which was great. I've been tweaking the Mods around a bit and the unnecessary amounts of sex have decreased, weird preferences have been fixed etc.

This is why I'm playing The Girls first before starting an actual legacy. This way, I can adjust everything to the way I like things. Like I said, I've only just started playing Sims 4 so everything is new.

Please remember that as you scroll through this update, haha!!

So to start things off, Hawea has decided he wants Molly to be his girlfriend. That's such exciting news! Congratulations Molly! Good luck Hawea...

All right, yep... celebrate all you want...

Ugh, now it's freaking Tina Peeping that's been coming around harassing the girls through the windows. I gotta do something about this. I gotta send a message - beating people up just isn't working anymore.

So I was clicking around and in one particular Mod there was an option to beat someone's head into the ground. Sure! That should sent a message, right?!

WRONG! Molly killed her.

*blank stare*

I accidentally made Molly kill someone...

Molly: No really, it's fine. I'm just gonna go back to my boyfriend now. Next time don't interrupt me.

MOLLY. Molly I didn't mean for that to happen. I thought you were just gonna rough them up a little. That kid is dead!

Molly: So I was thinking of ordering UberEats. How does cheesy toasted sandwiches sound?

Oh my God the Reaper is here. (TT_TT) Molly doesn't even care. What have I done?

The Reaper has a tablet. They keep track of their deaths using modern technology <3 I love it! I'm both happy and sad at the same time. What are these emotions?!

Oops. I should really start paying more attention to what's going on around me. This is a classic case of not realizing the consequences - or thinking I can get away with something. Is that it? Maybe there's another lesson to be learned here...

I'll figure it out.

Reaper: Hey, so ya girl Molly just beat a kid to death outside. I'm gonna need you to go into a blind panic for the next few hours. Also, please sign here *holds out tablet* Do you want the receipt for this sent to your email or..?

Reaper: Knight to D6. Peace out squad. *shimmers away*

And Molly gets rewarded with a promotion.

The world works in mysterious ways I guess.

Radley can you be careful please? Please don't set yourself on fire. I'm like really nervous now. I feel like I'm gonna be the one to get the bad karma and something is going to happen to one of you.

These two are just a never ending love rocket at the moment.

Winter and Marcel have also been hitting it off really well. Here they are having their first kiss. Winter is actually supposed to be wearing clothes right now but for some reason the lag on her getting changed was super slow.

I'm sure all the other Sim God's out there understand..

He's so lovely. He actually goes around and fixes anything that is broken in the house. What a good guy. He's also married but that hasn't stopped any of us so far, so... not for long my guy. Not for long.

Loren: Please get OFF the table! I just want to eat my food, Mya! Seriously! Mya: *genuinely confused*

I had Solar make a bunch of food because I decided I wanted them to have a New Years Party. Halfway through her huge cook-up it looks like she got sick? She started getting all dazed and spinny.

Please be okay, baby <3

The regulars were invited. Makoa and Don, the household's favorite boys - as well as Mortimer Goth, Darumk and his wife, and Hiroki, Marcel and Hawea. There was also some chick from Loren's work. I think they were in a commercial together.

Everyone had a good time <3

Winter did have a brief fight with Darumk about something. From the looks of things it was him getting angry at her, because maybe she wanted to see him without his briefs on? I'm not sure. I'm just speculating.

But immediately afterwards they were sipping wine and laughing about the good old days.

Loren and Hiroki were all over each other. Loren convinced him to leave his wife, which he was more than happy to do by the way. So he's officially a man with no strings attached, dating a young adult romance sim who currently wants to have 3 serious relationships going at the same time.

I feel like he's gonna be going through some stuff, but we'll see!

Solar and Vanessa were the last ones standing for New Years. Which was surprising since Solar was soooo dizzy all night.

Molly: Hey Winter, you left the stove on.

Previous | Archive | Next

[runnning-outof-time]

I Meant No Harm | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: After being arranged to marry Tommy Shelby so that his dealings with Section D can get back on track, (Y/N) finds herself in a desolate place. A place that is only brightened by the two year old boy Tommy has.

Warnings: language, smoking, drinking, arranged marriage

Word Count: 3975

A/N: I was initally apprehensive about this request when I first received it, but I really like how it turned out. I hope you do as well. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in stories similar to this one!

She kept her eyes fixed on the wooden table in front of her. Her hands were clenched together in her lap so tight that she was sure the crescent-shaped marks from her nails would be embedded into her skin for days to come. She didn't want to be here right now, but she had no other choice. She was about to be married off to Tommy Shelby.

Tommy Shelby sat on the opposite side of the table, and Father Hughes sat on (Y/N)'s left. She tried to drown out the conversation the two men were having, but it was hard for her to do. What wasn't hard, though, was her ability to realize the amount of anger that was coming off of Tommy. It seemed as if he wanted this union to happen no more than she did; but it was still happening, and neither of them could stop it.

Tommy sat with his jaw clenched as he listened to Father Hughes speak about this arrangement with a grin on his face. It wasn't until the priest mentioned the untimely death of his wife that Tommy stood up with enough force that the chair he was once occupying fell over. "This conversation is finished," he snapped, his eyes fixed on the man sitting across from him. He didn't even give the chance for a response before he turned on his heels and began walking out of the yard.

"I'm sorry that you have to live with this now," Hughes said as he looked to (Y/N), although there wasn't an ounce of sympathy laced into his voice as he spoke. Rather it was yet another dig directed at the man who was still walking away. "Hear this, Mr. Shelby!" he then called out, making the gangster stop on a dime, "as per the orders of Section D, you will marry this woman and take her into your home. If you do not, you will be straying away from orders and we will be forced to deal with you accordingly," he spoke in a menacing way, his threats making (Y/N) shiver even though she was not the receiver of them.

She finally looked up to see Tommy turn around and stare down the priest with his hands clasped in front of his waist. "I'll adhere to your fucking plan..." he paused before he took a few steps closer to the table the other two were sitting at, "but if you ever speak a word of my late wife again, I'll make sure that you're dead before the hour's up," he bit back with a threat of his own, his cold eyes boring into the priest's. Father Hughes only nodded his head, a tight-lipped smile adorning his face. He knew he was under Tommy's skin, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"I'm happy to hear of your agreement," Hughes shrugged off the threat and chose to focus on the first part of Tommy's statement. "Shall we shake on it like men?" he asked as he stood from his chair and held his hand out in the space between them.

Tommy glanced down at it before looking back up at the man standing opposite of him. "I have business to deal with," he dismissed the gesture before he turned away from the table yet again.

"Make sure your day's free tomorrow. You'll have yourself a new bride before the end of it!" the priest called to Tommy, who kept walking this time, leaving the yard for good. Father Hughes kept the smug smirk on his face as he turned to look at (Y/N). "And your family's wrong doings will be wiped away come day's end tomorrow as well," he told her, reminding her once more of the reason why she'd even been brought into this mess.

"Thank you, Father Hughes," (Y/N) said in a low voice before she got up from the chair and left the table.

Never did she think she'd be in this situation. Her father testified against one of the members of Section D several months ago, and now she was being arranged into a marriage with one of the organization's affiliates.

Her family had the money to pay off whatever it was they were coming at them over, but they insisted that (Y/N) would settle the deal instead. She didn't know at the time that this Mr. Shelby they were mentioning had recently lost his wife and, for whatever reason, they felt that he couldn't go on and complete whatever they had with him without a woman by his side.

The next day, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Tommy Shelby were married. It happened under the watch of Father Hughes who, of course, officiated the ceremony and pronounced the two husband and wife. It didn't feel that way at all though. He barely glanced in her direction during the ceremony and only kissed her because he had to.

(Y/N) was moved into Arrow House following the ceremony because it was what husbands and wives do...live in the same house. She wasn't surprised to see that she had her own room, but she was surprised to see that her closets were already filled with clothing that matched her size and style.

"Mr. Shelby wanted to make sure that you had everything you needed," her personal maid, Kate, told her when she asked her about the clothing. She wanted to thank Tommy for the gesture, but upon finding out that he was already in his office, she decided to let it be.

It didn't take long for (Y/N) to notice the beauty of both the house and grounds that she was now living at. It offered many rooms and much land for her to explore. And when she found a comfortable lounge in the front room that had a gramophone ready to play one of the latest soft jazz albums, (Y/N) decided that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Sure, her new husband hadn't so much as looked in her direction, but maybe living in a place like this would make up for it.

About a week passed before (Y/N) realized that she, Tommy, and the staff weren't the only ones inhabiting Arrow House. She was sitting in the front room, listening to music like she'd been doing since she first moved in when a young boy toddled into the room. (Y/N) was shocked at first by the sudden appearance of this boy, but she figured that he was supposed to be here.

"Who is this, Marie?" (Y/N) asked the maid that was standing ready at the doorway. She felt a little embarrassed asking this question because she was supposed to be the woman of the house, but at the same time she needed to know.

"That's Charlie, Mr. Shelby's son," Marie answered her like it was obvious, which made (Y/N) feel even more embarrassed that she had to ask.

"Oh," she responded with a slight nod, her attention then turning to the boy who had by now made his way to the lounge she was sitting on.

"I can take him back up to his room if you'd like, Mrs. Shelby," Marie offered as the boy made grabbing-hands towards the woman sitting on the couch.

"That's not needed, Marie. This is his home too, he should be allowed to wander around it," (Y/N) responded, a smile on her face as she lifted the toddler up into her arms and allowed him to sit on her lap so that he was facing her now. "Hello there, Charlie," she smiled as she tapped his nose gently with her index finger. The child seemed to like that, a wide smile on his face as he tried to grab hold of her hands then. "I'm sorry that this is our first meeting," (Y/N) continued on with talking to the boy, even though he most likely wouldn't say anything intelligent back. He looked to be just a little over two years old.

The boy then responded with some babbling of his own, making (Y/N) smile and laugh slightly at his response. The two sat there for some time, (Y/N) singing him songs and telling little stories, and Charlie trying so hard to grab and hold onto her hands as she waved them around in time with what she was doing. She didn't know it just then, but a little bit of hope had been restored into her from the meeting of this little boy.

(Y/N) was sitting in one of the reading rooms on the first floor of Arrow House when Tommy and his Aunt Polly walked into it. "Hi, Tommy," she greeted him, settling the book down on her lap as she turned to look at him.

"Hello, (Y/N)," he greeted her in a formal way instead of how a husband should greet his wife, "would you mind moving out of this room? We need it for business...a family meeting," he then asked her.

(Y/N) glanced between him and the woman by his side. She was able to feel the tense vibes coming off of the older woman. It wasn't a secret that the Shelby family had been weary around their newest addition. (Y/N) hated it. She saw no reason for them to be hostile towards her. But, with a sigh, she stood from the couch and nodded her head. This wasn't anything new. She'd been asked to leave the area because of family meetings before. And she'd stopped asking why she wasn't allowed to join then when Tommy gave her a very pointed look on her first attempt to get an answer.

By this time, John, Arthur and Michael had entered the reading room, so (Y/N) figured she should get out of it. She barely glanced at the people who were supposed to be her family before she stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind her.

She could still hear Polly through the wall though: "have you figured out her intentions yet, Thomas?"

"I have not," he answered pretty quickly, "I still have reason to believe that Hughes has placed her here in order to gain more information on me...there's been no evidence confirming nor denying it." (Y/N) couldn't help but scoff at his statement. Did he really think that she would willingly work for that horrendous priest? That she accepted being placed in an arranged marriage and essentially being sent to live a life of loneliness so that she could spy on him?

"Wouldn't be the first time that's happened, eh, Tom?"

"Now's not the time, John," Polly's scolding voice came seconds after the other man finished talking.

"The intentions of my new wife is not the reason why I've called you here...let's get on with business, eh?" Tommy called them back to his attention, and that was when (Y/N) decided to leave the room.

She entered her bedroom with a sigh and sat on the plush bed. Things had been this way for over a month now; she didn't know why she let them affect her anymore. But they did. She genuinely felt alone here...in a place where she was supposed to be 'the woman of the house', she felt like a visitor.

The sounds of a child crying were quickly approaching (Y/N)'s room. They stopped outside her door, and she was able to hear an incessant knocking in between them.

"Come in!" (Y/N) called with furrowed eyebrows as she wondered what the problem was.

The door opened to show Mary, who had a crying Charlie balanced on her hip. "He's just not settling, Mrs. Shelby," the maid told the woman, who still seemed confused.

"What am I to do about it?" she asked, not realizing how rude her question was until it left her mouth, "isn't Tommy home?"

"He's away on business," Mary answered, paying no mind to the previous question, "I know that he likes spending time with you."

(Y/N) raised her eyebrow slightly as she stood from the bed. She then made her way over to the woman and toddler, reaching her hands out when she got a bit closer. "Come here, Charlie," she cooed, a slight frown gracing her lips now. It hurt her heart when children cried.

Mary transferred the child over to (Y/N), who hugged him close to her and carried him over to the bed. Being in her arms made the child's cries turn into hiccups, but he still had a rather deep frown etched into his features.

"Can you please bring some of his toys in here, Mary?" (Y/N) asked, thinking that maybe playing with something would help the boy get his mind off of his sadness.

"Yes, Mrs. Shelby," Mary nodded, leaving the room for a few moments before she returned with a handful of toys that Charlie enjoyed playing with.

"Thank you, Mary," (Y/N) smiled at the older woman, who nodded her head.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Shelby," she said, a smile forming on her face as well. "You really do make a difference here," she offered some kind words before she made her way to the door and exited the room.

(Y/N) thought about what the maid had said as she watched Charlie play with the wooden horses that he'd been brought. She couldn't help but smile as she accepted the horse that Charlie gave her, and she happily made exaggerated neighing noises until the child's sniffles turned into giggles.

"Good evening, Tommy," (Y/N) greeted her husband as he walked into the front room, where she'd been sitting and watching Charlie play with a few toy cars.

"Evening," he mumbled in response as he moved over to the tray that held the bottles of liquor. He poured himself a glass of whiskey before he brought it with him to the chair that was next to the couch (Y/N) was on.

"Someone came to the house today with some itineraries for the foundation. They said that they needed someone to sign them, but I told them that I didn't feel comfortable doing so," (Y/N) told him about the person who had come to the house earlier looking for a signature. Even though Mary had brought the man to (Y/N) and said that it'd be acceptable since she held the Shelby name, (Y/N) didn't feel comfortable in doing so. She didn't see herself as a true Shelby.

"That's fine," Tommy waved her off, setting the glass on the coffee table in front of him so that he could fish his tin of cigarettes out of his pocket and set one between his lips. "How was your day?" he asked her as he was in the process of lighting it. Once it was lit, he let the smoke leave his lungs as he glanced over in (Y/N)'s direction.

"Fine," was all (Y/N) said. She didn't know what else to say. They felt like housemates. Some days that was fine, but others, particularly the days where she felt lonely, she wanted their relationship to be something more.

"Good," Tommy nodded, taking a sip from his whiskey. They sat in silence then. Tommy had his head leaned back against the chair as he smoked his cigarette and (Y/N) kept her eyes focused on Charlie as he played in the corner. She wondered why Tommy was even still in the room. He usually came home, said hello, and retired to his office.

Things stayed quiet until Charlie stood up from where he was playing and toddled over to where the adults were sitting. "Mumma," he called out as he approached the chairs.

"Mumma's not here anymore, Charlie," Tommy responded, not even bothering to lift his head from the back of the chair as he corrected his son like he'd done countless times before.

"Mumma," Charlie repeated again, this time making grabbing-hands towards (Y/N) as he'd stopped in front of the couch she was on.

(Y/N) reached out with every intention of picking the child up, but she was stopped by Tommy's voice "Did he just..." he trailed off, disbelief laced into his words.

"He did," (Y/N) nodded, a smile starting to form on her lips. This was the first time Charlie had done this, and in a way, it made her feel like she finally belonged.

"That's not happening," Tommy said in a definite tone without an ounce of happiness in his voice.

"What?" (Y/N) asked, confused.

"I said that's not fucking happening!" he repeated himself, his voice much louder now, "you're not his mother! Sure you have to fucking be here and I was forced to marry you, but you will not impose yourself on him and make him believe that you are his mother!" he bellowed, standing from the chair as he began pointing his finger at her for emphasis.

"Tommy..." was all she was able to get out before he continued his rant.

"He should not be fucking thinking that you're his mother, (Y/N), because you're fucking not! You're using him for whatever fucking leverage you need to get for Hughes, and I won't let that happen. You are not going to use my boy!" he continued his tirade, his eyes wide and filled with an anger that made (Y/N) shiver. The boy surprisingly stayed by her side though, and his small hand clasped in hers was the only thing that was keeping her from completely losing herself. He ended his rant by staring at her, and if looks could kill, she'd be dead on the spot.

(Y/N) took a moment to compose herself before she took a breath and started to speak as calmly as she could, "I never tried to impose myself on your son, Tommy. That was never my intention. I just enjoy spending time with him," she told him, standing from her seat since the boy they were speaking about had let go of her hand, "and I have no business with Hughes, and I certainly would not ever think of giving your boy up as leverage in whatever dealings you're doing with him," she finished her statement by pursing her lips together in order to hold her tears back. She stared him in the eyes for a few moments before she turned and left the room.

It wasn't until she was through the door of her room that she let the tears fall down her cheeks. She didn't deserve the hurtful words that Tommy had just said to her. She didn't deserve for her husband to speak to her that way. And she most certainly didn't deserve for him to think that she was still siding with Father Hughes through all of this. She was so busy wrapped up in tears and her thoughts that she didn't hear the door being pushed open or see that Charlie was making his way over to her bed.

It wasn't until his hands met her thighs that she looked down and saw the child, who was once more making grabbing-hands towards her. This time she lifted the boy up and was able to hold him close to her chest without anyone ridiculing her for doing so. She let the tears continue to fall as she hugged Charlie to her chest, the boy wrapping his small arms around her torso the best he could.

Tommy knew he fucked up. He could see the hurt in (Y/N)'s eyes when he unleashed his tirade onto her for no other reason than his son making him think of his late wife. She didn't ask to be put into this, much like he hadn't either. Now he'd just made the situation worse.

He slowly climbed the stairs in hopes of seeing his son before he went into his office for the night. But upon going into his nursery, he found that the two and a half year old wasn't there. His heartbeat quickened immediately. The worst case scenario ran through his mind as he rushed down the hall, checking every room that was open for his son.

The last room that he made it to was (Y/N)'s. Her door was cracked enough to see the light shining through into the hallway. He stopped in front of it and took a deep breath. He wasn't intending to face her again this night, but now he had to for the sake of his son. So he knocked lightly on the door and pushed it aside gently. Every fiber in his body relaxed when he saw that Charlie was laying on (Y/N)'s chest, sleeping peacefully as she ran her hands through his hair.

"Tommy," (Y/N) greeted him once she noticed he was standing in the doorway.

"I was looking for Charlie, I..." he trailed off, stepping further in the room, "I thought he'd gone missing."

"No, he's safe here...with me," she answered him, initially wanting her words to come out in a spiteful manner, but instead they just sounded reassuring.

"Good," Tommy nodded, then stepping closer to her, "may I?" he asked, motioning to the bed. (Y/N) nodded and he sat at the foot of it, next to where her legs were. "I, um..." he trailed off, clearing his throat as he looked at the distant wall. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before he looked over at (Y/N).

"I meant no harm in caring for the boy, Tommy," (Y/N) decided to start the conversation, knowing exactly what was on his mind. "He needed love, and I was ready to give that to him...since I had no one else to give it to," she said the last part of her statement in a much softer voice, but Tommy still heard it.

"I was out of line in yelling at you," he started off by admitting his fault, "I'm still...I'm still grieving, and although I know that it's not a valid excuse for me to yell at you because of it, that's why I reacted the way I did."

"Thank you for admitting that, Tommy," (Y/N) smiled over at him softly. "I recognize that you're still in that mourning process, and I know that you didn't ask for a marriage with me, but I'm here now," her words held no malice in them, "I'm here for you," she took them one step further, her eyes finding his as she spoke.

“We should try,” Tommy said after a few moments had passed.

“Try?” (Y/N) asked him to elaborate, her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Try to be more like husband and wife...although I realize that I’m the one who really needs to be doing the trying,” he explained his previous statement, hanging his head at the end as he felt a slight bit of shame fill him.

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as she heard his confession. “I’d like to try as well,” she agreed with his idea, reaching forward to place her hand on his forearm. Her touch made him glance over at her, and she couldn’t help but smile at the surprised expression he was wearing. “Come here,” she said softly, beckoning him over to her.

He listened and moved closer to her, allowing her to wrap her arms around his shoulders while his son was still hugging onto her as he slept. Tommy settled his hands against the small of her back as he breathed her in. (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile as she held the embrace. Everything felt right in that moment with her two Shelby boys cuddled up against her chest.

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicalxdaydream @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole

MASTERLIST

[myonmukyuu]

Art Summary: 2022

It's that time of year again! This makes my 9th year of art summaries... Kind of insane to think about.

It's been a very eventful year and I have a lot to say. Extended art performance review under the cut 👌 (3k words lmao)

Previous: 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

ABOUT THE COMIC:

So! What happened this year? Well, my book happened. I'm not sure if anything else happened ahfhasjkdkasf

See, I actually cheated this art summary a tiny bit. Usually I use the upload date of the art to place it in the summary. But if I did that for this year, there would be at least 4 blank spots. That's why February, April and May all feature different pages of the same comic (CH 9).

I really did spend the first half of the year finishing my comic. I only released 2 chapters too (the finale and the epilogue). In March I took a week and a half off to work on a short for Ayumu's birthday, but otherwise slaved all the way until June for the webcomic.

Then I spent July and August doing all of the redrawing and edits required for a physical release. Those who have a copy of my book might already know but the first two chapters have been redrawn. I also had to go through the entire comic, fixing it so that it could actually be printed (because the webcomic version definitely can't be printed as it is.) It was super time-consuming. Like, I can't even begin to describe. Moving forward I'll try to draw every comic so that it's printable from the beginning so I don't have to deal with reformatting ever again...

I'm pretty sure it was in August that I had the first copy of the book done. Then the preordering period opened in Septemeber... and now we're here! People are just now starting to receive their books. Sorry it took so long guys ;w;

I'm very happy though... Depending on who you ask, 100 sales might not be a lot, but it's a lot to me. To think that so many people would spend the money to buy this kind of product is just so surprising to me... It's expensive and all of the content is already available to read for free!!! So it's really surprising and I'm so incredibly grateful. That's why I went through the trouble of creating that golden special print for everyone! It was quite a bit of money out of my pocket, but I really wanted to show my appreciation.

As a side note, the 100 sales were really exhausting to pack. My body was sore in November because of it LMAO

So I'd say this year was great for my comic! Both its webcomic finale and its physical release. But this summary isn't meant to be about my comic, it's supposed to be about my art and me as an artist.

ABOUT MY ART:

So how did my art go this year?

Looking back I feel nothing but exhaustion. I know I'm happy to have my comic released but, my body and mind is still very very tired. I feel like I took at least 2-3 weeks off or more from work throughout the year to keep the comic on track. It's just a huge undertaking.

What I'm getting at is I feel a tired and... a little disappointed. But don't get me wrong, I don't feel regret! It's just that... well every artist draws for their own reasons. For me, I love getting my ideas and stories out there. So I guess I felt creatively-starved spending about half a year polishing and releasing an already-complete product. Also technically starved - you don't really see much improvement if all you're doing is cleaning up art. I didn't really have a lot of time to draw because of the physical release so I often felt like I wasn't doing enough.

And honestly that's my main sentiment. While I feel happy and satisfied with releasing the book, another part of me feels like she didn't do enough.

In terms of technical skill, I definitely saw improvement this year. It's like something clicked in me and I had a better understanding of atmospheric lighting. CH 9 and the epilogue are probably some of my favourite bits of colouring I've ever done. I just love how it turned out. In CH 9, the gradual setting of the sun to create this orange/pink/purple colour palette was so fun to implement. And in the Epilogue, this blue/green/yellow rainy day came out perfectly. It was a rainy day, but unlike CH 7, it wasn't a dreary downpour but something more hopeful instead. I have a love for creating atmosphere and especially through colour. And I think I did well there.

In the realm of black/white, I also feel lots of improvement! I'm becoming more confident with monochrome and am starting to push it further. I'm not satisfied with my skill level, but I think it's promising. I may be more confident with creating tone through colour, but I'm sure I can do the same without it!

This year I also did quite a bit of painting. I really love how the October and November artworks came out. Honestly it was around this point in the year, I had the most time to output works as the only comic work I had to do was purely admin (until I started packaging things in November). I could go into technical depth, but this post is long enough. Just know that I'm happy with the little leaps my colouring skills made.

GOALS FOR 2022:

For my art summaries, I've been doing a performance review styled thing where I create goals for the upcoming year. Let's take a look at what goals I wrote for 2022 and how I went with them.

“I want to finish my comic series”

Passed with flying colours! I think the comic release was a success. This goal is a little cheap of a goal though, since I don't think I'd let myself live it down if I gave up.

“I also want to continue to try things that are outside of my comfort zone. I want to see myself try things like different angles/perspectives and more complex backgrounds.”

Now this goal... I think I made progress here. I'm not sure if people noticed but I did definitely try to slip in different angles here and there. I'm particularly good at them... but I'm trying! And I think that's the least I can do. You won't get good at something if you don't try after all. That being said, I should push backgrounds more... I rarely do them 😅

"I want to do more illustrations/quick drawings on top of my comic work."

My comic work was suffocating a lot of the time. But I did try to draw on top of it. I haven't really talked about it, nor shown anyone, but I started learning copic markers this year (borrowed my friend's set!). So in the background I've been doing 30-60 minute traditional art exercises. I'm not terribly diligent, but diligent enough that I already think it's made an impact on my art. See, I'm only doing monochrome copic markers (I'm not confident enough to do colour just yet). I'm pretty sure doing monochrome markers has helped me with my manga skills 😂. I have a better understanding of tones and values because of it! Isn't that kind of amazing? Come to think of it, it's linked to the next goals.

"I want to learn to paint."

"I want to learn to draw faster."

While I still have a long way to go, somehow my marker exercises have helped me with these too. The understanding of tones/values has made an impact on coloured work and painting as well. And because I'm doing shorter pieces, my speed has increased a tiny bit. I'm sure if I keep at it, I can continue to develop better habits!

"I want to draft more quickly and be smarter about it."

Now this goal is something I have just been trying to mentally direct myself to. It's working... a little bit. I still need to try harder.

See, I think my drafting process is really slow and inefficient. This results in me spending too much time drawing a comic because I've drafted like 5 extraneous pages. If I wanna increase my output and lower my workload, I have to learn to be more clever with how I compose each page. I think I got a tiny bit better. Need to work harder on that for sure (it's quite hard to just "learn" though...)

MOVING FORWARD:

With the past year in mind, how do I want 2023 to go? To be honest, I still feel so exhausted because of 2022, I definitely need some time to recover, so let's not go too crazy next year.

But before I create my next goals, I wanted to talk about where I want to go in general - the grand scheme of things. Like I mentioned, I feel a lot of disappointment, like I wasn't doing enough. Which is contradictory because I also feel like I did too much with how exhausted I am... But the source of that disappointment is really tied in with how I feel about my art skill on a technical level.

I'm nearing a whole decade of hobby artist experience. And I don't feel like my art shows it. While there are things that I am better at, there's so much that I struggle with.

I want to become better. I want to improve.

It's hard to explain but I feel like I'm not doing the best I can for the stories I want to tell if I don't keep pushing and learning. And I love what I make, so I want to do those stories justice.

So it's really important to me that I keep trying to improve.

In the long term, I think my dream is to be like a pro-manga artist. Please don't make fun of me LMFAO. But there's more to it. See, I don't actually want to be a pro artist. I never want to compromise my creative vision for the sake of pandering to an audience. I sincerely think I wouldn't be able to succeed without doing that so I'm content with drawing as a hobby. A programmer as my day job and a manga artist by night...

I want to be as skilled as a pro some day though.

To be honest, I think the distance is so great that it's basically impossible. So my true goal is a little lower than that.

My true long-term goal is to be... a little comparable to a pro.

And I don't think I'm at that point. And I don't want to use "being a hobbyist" as an excuse to allow myself to remain like this.

I think it's terrifying actually. Where I'm at with my art.

I'm really happy people enjoy it, and don't get me wrong - I love my own work. I love drawing. But I think it's important to be critical of it - if I want to be able to reach my goals.

I think if people read this far, they might be thinking something like "but you're already so good!" or something to that effect. But I don't think it's true.

I think it's terrifying because there's so much I'm not good at. Comics are scary because they're an amalgamation of so many different skillsets. I possess some of these skills but there's just so many different ways that I feel that I'm lacking.

For instance, my art itself has such stiff lines. I'm not great at perspective. My art isn't dynamic. And this is just a few examples of stuff related to my illustration skills.

But comics are more than that.

There's the individual panel compositions that come together to create a unifying page composition. The visual flow - controlling how the reader scans the page. The storytelling skills - pacing, dialogue, story beats. The dialogue writing skills. The typesetting.

I think there's so many places I'm weak with and it's scary because it's difficult to just pick something to improve at when it feels like everything is wrong at once. It's so easy for me to pick up some manga from a shelf, flick through and think "this artist does x better than me, how can I learn from them?" but learning is hard and I'm not good at it so I'm just stuck with this awareness that I could be better.

But at the end of the day, I just have to pick a direction and go, right? I think that's all I can do and that's okay. It's just hard to shake the feeling of drowning in my own mediocrity.

Sorry I didn't mean to bring down the mood of this art summary.

I promise that at the end of the day that I love drawing. This is just my overly-critical side shining through. I don't have too much natural talent, just a very stubborn mind. I kind of need to be critical so I can push myself in the right direction. And I'm fairly happy with the way I've been pushing myself through these past years.

I'm not particularly fussed if my works receive a lot of traction or not because what's most important to me is the way I see my own work. My personal satisfaction.

And that's just tied with doing the best I can!

So with that in mind...

GOALS FOR 2023:

"Improve at atmospheric lighting"

This isn't particularly ambitious because it's something I'm already working on, but I know I can push lighting even further. So expect to see me experimenting more and more!

"Participate in a paid online course"

Now this is linked to my wall of text just now. I feel very overwhelmed so I think having an unbiased and experienced teacher's guidance could be valuable. I'm eyeing ones that include personalised feedback. The only concern is that it's hard to find the time for things like this when I work full-time.

Also it's a bit scary having a professional roast me, but I think it'd be good for me.

"Continue to practise traditionally"

This is linked to all of my technical art gripes. I think continuing to do traditional art exercises will help me with a lot of my weak points.

"Continue to be ambitious with art"

I don't mean ambition on a work-load level, but I want to continue to push out of my comfort-zone. Keep trying those weird angles and backgrounds, be more experimental!

"Start planning that next story"

I always have a billion different story ideas in my back pocket that I am itching to tell. I also don't wanna die of overwork though. So lets keep the bar low.

I have many great ideas, so I want to start outlining the next one! This is just a vague goal to remind myself to keep thinking ahead.

"Rest up."

I think this is the most important goal. Like I said I feel completely and utterly exhausted this year.

So I want Myon in 2023 to have more time for herself. Improve her health, catch up with her relationships, spend more time watching movies and playing video games.

Don't work too hard next year.

EXTRA REFLECTION:

I seriously don't know if anyone actually reads these reflections. I wonder what kind of person I come off across... (probably a try-hard 😂)

I wanted to talk about one more thing. It's not really linked to goals, just the future in general.

So I've been drawing for Nijigasaki for 2 years now. I think a lot of people are moving on from it though.

To be honest, I think that's okay. I'm kind of used to the people around me shifting into new interests. I think I'll still be with Niji for a long time to come. I just have a lot of large scale ideas and will probably stick with them unless something sweeps me off my feet.

I mean, even if my ideas take too long to actualise while I'm interested in Niji, I'm also open to converting things into original content. There are just so many stories to tell...

It makes me wonder why my readers enjoy my work and how they interact with it? Are people a fan of me? The ship/characters/fandom? Or the stories?

Probably some mix of the above. It's not terribly important why though.

I'm sorry that I'm not very good at keeping up with everyone's interests. I think the world moves too quickly and I draw too slow and I can barely keep up. But I'm a bit too stubborn with my own desires so I keep working on my own things without another thought. So maybe that apology is a bit empty eheh

But I hope people will continue to enjoy the stories that I make.

I should be less harsh on myself though. 9 years of art isn't something to just shrug off.

Anyways, before I keep rambling. Happy new year everyone. Let's keep working hard in 2023!

[imthebadguyyy]

Temporary Fix

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!F1 driver!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You're the only female F1 driver, and you're damn good at your job. Oh, and you also have a friends with benefits relationship with a certain 7x World Champion.

Warnings - smut, best friends -> lovers, slight exhibitionism

A/N - you have the second merc seat in this, so Valterri isn't here : (( not proof read

Sometimes, you hated yourself for following your passion. Driving a F1 car had been your dream ever since you could remember. The long process from karting to F1 had been a difficult one. When you were seven, you had a go kart track manager that you couldn't race there because you were a girl. That had cemented your will to be the best you could be, and you had done it.

You had made it into a Mercedes F1 seat after spending two years in Williams. It was safe to say that you were one of the best drivers, with killer instinct and an excellent eye for overtakes. The likes of Mika Hakkinen, Niki Lauda, Jacques Villeneuve and others had praised your skills, naming you one of the best talents in the current driver pool.

But the glory, the fame, the praise, sometimes you wished you could just evaporate into thin air. This was one of those times. Press conferences sucked, they really did. Reporters and journalists thought they were entitled to ask you the most sexist of questions, brushing them off by saying it was 'just a simple question'. Sometimes the drivers you were paired up with defended you, like Seb or Pierre or Lewis or even Kimi. Sometimes people didn't want to say anything, or they just laughed it off or answered for you.

This was not one of those times. Charles was supposed to be your partner for the press conference, but he wasn't feeling too great so you were on your own. It had started off fine, with the usual questions like 'how are you feeling about the race?' 'is it gonna be a good weekend for Mercedes?' and then it had gone to 'Do you think you being the only woman here, you should have a special suit?' or 'Are you sure it's a good idea for you to continue another year in F1?' that's what had irked you off.

With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you bit back the cutting response that had sprung to your lips, opting to simply look disapprovingly in silence, speaking more words in the quiet. Eventually, the conference was over, and you made your way out of the hall, deep in thought, so lost in your own world, you didn't notice when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into one of the nearby storage closets.

Your protest of "Hey!-" was cut off by a pair of lips pressing to yours, strong arms wrapping around your torso. "Heard you had a bad day with the press" Lewis mumbled against your lips, brow furrowing when you sighed and let your head drop onto his shoulder. "Yeah they're such fucking jerks" you replied, closing your eyes. "I'm sorry you have to deal with them every time" he continued, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Eh, I mean I'd rather not talk about it" you continued, letting your fingers trace a pattern on his chest.

The silence in the room was disturbed by the ringing of Lewis's phone, making you jump softly. "Bono" he answered, looking down at the screen. "Pick it up"

"Hello?"

"Lewis, we're waiting for the meeting? And is Y/N with you?" Bono's voice rang through the tiny closet, as you turned to look at Lewis with wide eyes. Shit, the debrief. "Yeah, I'm coming! Oh, and I'll see if I can find Y/N" he replied, making you suppress a smile. The moment he put the phone down, the both of you burst into giggles, before he leaned down to press another kiss to your lips. "Well, we should go" he said, biting back a smile when you sighed, and cuddled into his shoulder. "Fine"

"But I'll make it up to you tonight baby" he continued, as a shiver ran down your spine. Oh yeah, you two had a friends with benefits situation going on too. No biggie

Except, well, you know you couldn't tell anyone, and you were definitely in love with each other, but I mean, of course it was better to be stupid and just simply refuse to acknowledge those feelings for each other.

♥︎☾☁︎

It had happened, when Lewis won his championship in Turkey. The team had thrown a (socially distant) party, and you had gotten just a little more drunk than you should have, but the champagne was flowing, tequila shots were being taken, beer was being chugged so you just jumped in and had a few more glasses of wine than you should have, and participated in a few rounds of shots.

Before you had known, a pair of hot lips had crashed onto yours, and your arms had tightly held onto a broad pair of shoulders, as the pair of you had stumbled up to your hotel room, crashing backwards onto the bed. Your drunken mind had been sober enough to recognise the 'Still I Rise' tattoo across his back when he tugged his shirt off.

At the same time, Lewis had recognised your face, heart speeding up ever so slightly because holy shit he was making out with you, and he really, really liked you. Before he knew it, your dress was down to your knees, and his shirt was a rumpled mess on the floor, your friendship gone far beyond repair, but only in the best way possible.

The next morning, you had let out a groan when the sunshine had flashed into your eyes, rolling over to find Lewis lying next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. Your heart rate had sped up, and you had shot up, scaring the living day light out of Lewis. He had awoken with a start, confusion present in his brown eyes, before realization had sunk in, and he had shot out of bed, wrapping one of the towels around his lower body.

But before the two of you could get awkward, he had strutted over to you, grabbing your face in his hands before pulling you in for a kiss that made you feel weak and light headed.

And then the both of you came to the conclusion that you two wanted something loose and flexible, something fun with no commitment.

But was it what you wanted?

♥︎☾☁︎

Sometimes debriefs could drag on. And on. And on. Eventually, the engineers left the room, leaving only Toto, Lewis, Bono, Angela, James and yourself in the room. Over the years, it had become like a family for you, and you loved them to absolute bits. The mood in the room had changed, as you all joked around for a while.

Watching from the other side of the room, Lewis couldn't help the smile that etched itself onto his face, when he saw you throw your head back with laughter at something Toto said, inhaling sharply when your neck came into clear view, a sudden urge to mark you up settling in on his body.

It was a thrill, to think of how many times you had come undone on his fingers and his tongue, how many nights you begged for him to fill you up with his cock. It was a thrill to think of all the times he had cried your name out in ecstasy while your tongue worked wonders around him. And yet, here you were, acting as if you two were just best friends, not two people who could barely keep their hands off of each other.

Just two nights ago, he had made you scream his name so loud, the person the next room, who just happened to be Daniel, had not let him hear the end of it. Thankfully, the Aussie hadn't realized it was you in his bed. Two nights ago, he had made you see stars, and after that you had rewarded him with the performance of his life to Nights Like This by Kehlani.

Snapping back to reality when a slight poke was applied to his shoulder, Lewis looked over to see Angela looking at him with a slight smirk on her face. He strongly suspected that the woman definitely had some sort of inkling about the both of you. How ? No idea. But she was a crazy smart woman, and was bound to have figured out that he was seeing someone.

It didn't help that atleast half the people on the grid had at some point teased him, telling him the both of you were made for each other. It was like the universe was pushing the both of you to be together, and he kept pushing it away

"So are we feeling confident going into this weekend?" Toto asked, grabbing his attention from the smirking blonde.

"Yup!" Your cheery answer elicited a smile from everyone in the room. "Yeah I think so" he said, watching as you flashed him a quick smile. "Okay, then, I think we're done for now. Any questions?" Bono asked, scanning a data sheet in front of him. "No, i'm good" you replied, reaching over to grab your phone. "Yeah me too" Lewis said, far too concerned with what was going to happen later that night to pay his full attention to Bono.

"Okay then. We'll see you tomorrow"

And with that they departed. Before Lewis could follow you, a hand grabbed his and he turned to see Angela, Toto and Bono looking at him expectantly. "So whose got you all distracted and flustered?" Angela asked, earning a smirk from Toto. "What? No one" he replied, slapping himself mentally for being all day dreamy during a meeting. "Oh really? I'm willing to bet you didn't hear anything I said during the meet except the last bit" Bono said, smiling when his driver got visibly flustered.

"So do we know her?" Angela continued, watching him closely for any giveaway reactions. "How would you know her if I don't like anyone?" Lewis said, hoping to God it didn't come across as awkward as it sounded.

"Never said you liked anyone. I'm saying you're in love with someone" Angela said, watching as her friend's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head profusely. "Okay are you on something? I'm just gonna head back to the hotel now" he murmured, confused, and somewhat taken aback by her bluntness.

Ignoring the looks on the others faces, he made his way out to the paddock, trying his hardest to make sense of his feelings. Was a casual relationship with you what he wanted? He wanted so much more than that.

Lewis knew, deep down in his heart, that he wanted to hold your hand in public, and kiss you right on the lips in front of everyone when you shared a podium. He wanted to be able to call you his, to not just spend the night with you, but to spend all his days with you. But you didn't want that.

Or so he thought.

♥︎☾☁︎

Back at the hotel, Lewis busied himself with working out, trying to push all his frustrations out via the workout. He knew that you were going to turn up in the night, and he looked so damn forward to seeing you each night, but god, he hated it when you left in the morning. Every morning when your warm body slipped out from under the sheet, his arms would tighten for a moment, before your giggle would bring him back to reality and he'd hastily draw back, smiling at you. His favourite moment was when he came to your hotel room in Spain. In the morning, he had woken up before you, and before leaving, he had pressed a little kiss to your forehead. The most gorgeous smile had curled onto your lips, and his heart had melted into a little puddle when you rested your cheek on his hand

And then in Monaco, when he had taken you to his apartment, you had woken up before him, and he had woken up to the sight of you bringing a tray of pancakes and fruits, followed by a soft kiss to his cheek.

It was those moments he cherished, but it was those same moments that confused him.

His train of thought was broken when a knock echoed in the room, as he walked over to the door, opening it to find : you

"Hey" you greeted him, walking in and shedding your jacket. "Hey" he replied, reaching for a towel to wipe the sweat off of his body. "Wow um, is this a bad time?" You asked, eyes trailing down his abs, watching as his body glistened in the fading sun light. "No its fine, I just finished my workout. You hungry?" He continued, biting back a smirk when he saw your eyes roaming his body.

"W-what? Yeah, i, um, suppose - yeah" you murmured, mind already far down the gutter.

"For food darling, not for sex" he said, making you blush and let out a small gasp. "Lewis!" You chided, shoving him softly. "You know you were thinking it" he mumbled, pushing you up against the wall. "Yeah I was" you whispered back, yanking him forward by his shoulders, slamming your lips against his.

Lifting you up from the waist, he pressed his body further into yours, one of his hands wandering down to your ass, squeezing harshly, earning a moan from your lips. Taking the opportunity, he pushed his tongue into your mouth, groaning when you let your core grind against him.

Leading you towards the bed, he stopped in confusion when you stopped him, maneuvering him towards the balcony. "Want you to fuck me against the window or in the balcony" you gasped out, earning a moan from him.

"Right where anyone could see us, hmm? Didn't know you were into that baby" he growled, grabbing your earlobe in between his teeth, earning an airy gasp from you, as the wetness threatened to seep down your legs.

"Mmhmm" was all you could muster, your mind so clouded with desperation you couldn't form a single coherent thought. The only thing you were aware of was that only Lewis could make you feel the pleasure you wanted to feel, only he would take you to that little piece of heaven, only he would hold your hand and fuck you into oblivion, and he would still be there to clean you down with a sponge softly.

"If you insist"

Grabbing you roughly, he slammed your body against the massive hotel room window, ripping the mercedes team shirt you were wearing off of your quivering form, letting it drop to the floor, before he hooked his fingers into the material of your jeans, tugging the denim down your legs

With a soft groan, you pulled his nike shorts down his legs, moaning when his cock came into view, the throbbing in between your legs making you whimper, arousal and need growing tenfold in your tummy.

"Please" you whispered, meeting his eyes, so he could see the pure desperation in your eyes. "Please what?" He said, a certain roughness you hadn't heard before creeping into his voice

"Please fuck me" you moaned, gasping when he brought his hand up to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly. "Oh trust me doll, i will. But first, i want to have you dripping wet and ready for me. I want to make you cum on my fingers, so you're wet and ready for my cock. Do you want my fingers princess?" he continued, feeling his arousal grow when you whimpered and whined.

"Words baby girl. Or I'll just leave you here with your pathetic fingers. I bet you can't even reach all those spots inside you that make you scream, when your tiny little fingers try to please yourself. I bet you just feel like sinking into yourself, but the thought of my fingers keeps you awake. Do you do that, sweet girl? Do you pretend your fingers are mine when you're touching yourself, hmm?'

When you didn't answer, he delivered a smack to your ass, groaning when you moaned at the pleasurable sting. "Yes" you whispered abashed.

"Don't be shy baby. Its okay. I know you feel so good when I love on you. I can see it when you scream my name" and with that, his pointer finger began circling your clit, rubbing circles around it before shifting so he was rubbing the sensitive bud directly.

Your moans of ecstasy were music to his ear, a smile gracing his features, as he let his middle finger slip into you, thrusting it in and out of you. Your soft cry of "fuck" cracked when he shoved his pointer into you as well, scissoring them in and out of you

"Oh fucking hell Lew-" "Shh my darling, i didn't say you could talk, did I?" He said, fingers working at an indescribably quick pace, as the knot in your tummy tightened and threatened to loosen. "I'm gonna-" "go ahead baby" he murmured, using his pointer and thumb to pinch your clit roughly, as you came around his fingers with a scream

"Good girl. You wanna put that pretty little mouth to use somewhere else?" he asked, watching as you dropped to your knees eagerly, (just like I would do irl) reaching up to rest your hands on his hips.

"Someone's eager to suck my cock hmm? Be a good girl for me, and don't waste time" he ordered, a shudder running down his body when your nails traced the veins on his cock, and then as they reached downwards, your thumb circling his tip, collecting his pre cum on your finger. Then you shoved your thumb in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, before sucking softly on your digit, rolling your eyes back. You were snapped back to reality when Lewis roughly yanked your head up, pure arousal clouding his pupils

"You better use your mouth right now, or i swear i will leave you here alone to pleasure yourself" he threatened, moaning when you took his tip into your mouth at once, sucking softly before swirling your tongue upwards.

The feel of your tongue on him made him buck his hips into your mouth, the unexpected movement pushed him quite far back in your mouth, looking up at him, you hollowed out your cheeks, taking more and more of his cock into your mouth, the sounds he was making above you fuelling you. You took him as far back as you could without gagging, as a strangled moan of "Fuck Y/N!"left his lips. He grabbed your hair, tugging upwards, the tingling on your scalp sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. "Fuck baby, you're gonna have to stop now, I really want to fuck you now" he growled out, pulling you up before pushing you towards to balcony railing

Lining up with your entrance, he watched as you let out a shaky breath, eyes falling shut, as you clenched in anticipation.

"Are you sure you want this Y/N?" he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign that he was being too rough, or that you didn't want what was coming next

"Turning your head around to face him, you pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I've never been more sure baby" was your affirming reply.

Kissing you back with the same fervour, he slowly pushed into you from behind, the both of you groaning in sync when your walls enveloped him. "fuck you feel so good darling. So fucking tight" lewis moaned, making you moan as well as the pleasure coursed through your veins.

Reaching around you, Lewis rubbed your clit while he continued to snap his hips against yours, making your breasts bounce against your chest, your hands gripping the balcony railing for dear life. Thank god it was dark.

He continued to rub and pinch you clit, before swiping his fingers through your wet folds. Then he shoved his fingers into your mouth, prompting you to suck on them

"Be an angel and suck on my fingers for me" he growled, moaning when your mouth eagerly closed around his fingers, sucking them with fervour.

Snapping his hips into you desperately, his hands encircled your waist, pulling you back to meet his thrusts, swishing his fingers around in your mouth. "Fuck baby thats it, i'm gonna cum" he groaned, capturing your earlobe in between his teeth, moaning when you clenched down on him again

"Oh fucking hell-" with a moan, he came into you, pulling his fingers out of your mouth to rub your clit again, sighing with satisfaction when you came around him with a scream of "Lewis!"

Panting, he dragged you back to the bed, both of you collapsing into the covers.

Your chest rising and falling rapidly, you curled up into his chest, letting your head droop onto his shoulder, as his fingers traced his initials onto your hip.

"Well princess, we seem to have a problem here" he said, as you snapped your head up to look at him in confusion.

"I think i'm in love with you"

♡☾☁︎

A/N - part 2? Also feel free to drop a comment, i'd really appreciate it 🤍 thank you so much for reading 🤍

[dynmghts]

were someone to ask katsuki what he envisioned for himself in the future five, ten years ago, it would not have been this : it would not have been a violent confrontation over a confession of love and an unwilling kiss.

his vision for the future was unsure if there would be another person in his life, after all. there was only one instance when it included a partner. in a brief "high school sweethearts" scenario, he dated the toughest girl he knew in his class, and things were good for a while. great, even. at least, until they got out of high school, and the two drifted apart in the romantic department - while they remain good friends, better sparring partners, and a phenomenal hero duo, katsuki hasn't dated since. his long-term goal still doesn't include a partner.

that was at some dismay from his mother, who hoped to see a potential son or daughter-in-law down the track, hoped to see someone who could handle her son in his full capacity. katsuki remembers arguing with her that he didn't need anyone to be his metaphorical leash. she grew to accept this.

and yet, here he was. he is sure this isn't what she meant.

the blond acts on the immediate fight response that takes over him ; hands that were once idle seize the other's wrists in a quick motion, using his strength to pull them away. his hands warm, dangerously so. there are no pops of explosions to follow - but the way his fingers tighten their grip around wrists, the way the heel of his palms dig into skin, the menacing glare that follows ... he is threatening him.

with every action that the paramedic takes, with every manipulative word he throws at the blond, katsuki feels more and more cornered. like he's being driven into a cage he helped make. like deku is looking to leash a wild animal under this toxic pretence of want and love, when the blond mirrors none of that - only carrying animosity and venom and disgust directed to the other. that may not be true, but to katsuki, it is all deku ever told him ; i'm already here, and unless you're scared, and i'm already bleeding because of you, you're all i want after all, i love you-

❛ you'll never have me, deku, ❜ he spits out, nails twisting to dig into deku's skin. unattainable, unreachable ; i'll make you lose, he said. if katsuki is the frightened wolf who was trying to fight being bested, then deku was indeed the dog, who may as well have put a collar on himself the moment he set foot in this cage with katsuki. desperate for any attention, and you'll never walk away from this. ❛ no matter how much love you have, this'll be nothing more than a means to an end. ❜

his palms warm more intensely for a second. then, sudden, the blond lets go and shoves away the pair, scrambling from the ground and fixing his shirt. sanguine eyes glower down at deku in contempt right after.

bakugou katsuki does not feel any more victorious, but he feels like a point has been proven : he could play this game, and he had no intention of losing.

❛ now get the fuck out of my home, ❜ he scowls. whether deku heeds his words straight away are up in the air, and the blond is acutely aware of that, though he promptly keeps his distance. [ every part of him feels wrong. deku has wormed his way into katsuki's heart, he knows, but their confrontation leaves a foul taste in his mouth, goosebumps on his skin. ] ❛ or i'll get you dragged out. ❜

izuku knows he's not helpless by any means.

there was a point in time, sure, where he thought being quirkless would've defied everything in his life : he would remain helpless and unspecial. he would remain mediocre and uninteresting. he would go through the routine of life, but it ... would not have amounted to anything, because he wasn't like the others. he was a deku. useless and empty and unworthy.

until all might found him again. until he somehow stumbled himself into the boxing gym he'd now frequented for years. until being quirkless was simply another platform for others to look down upon, so izuku could use that assumption against them; so izuku could deliver a punch himself, or get ahead in a strategy, and he'd come out as the victor. despite, despite, despite.

still. he knows intimately that years of fighting in the ring and building the muscles of his body was always intended more towards the scrappy, low-level sort of brawl. of course, there was still a sense of professionalism when the fightings were arranged among its community and there is a clear fan-base following the sport until a few recognisable champions could be easily identified among its die-hard audience. izuku was apart of the community, still is, and he adores every facet to it that he's invited to. that doesn't mean he does not recognise that sparring in the same martial arts isn't limiting and repetitive.

( it's one of the reason he's asked all might to help him improve; why he'd met pro hero shōto at all and have been arranging a sparring session every few months. )

it's also the reason why izuku could recognise how easily it is that katsuki could take him down like this. despite all the years of training, nothing, after all, compares to the hard-worn battle experience a pro hero must endure and could quickly retaliate. izuku feels the usual string of adoration curling up his spine as much as the shock from the sudden turn of event rattles his body. the back of his head meets the floor, a thud, and kacchan's hand threatens his arteries.

even still, apart of him couldn't help but bloom under attention. he thinks, though deliriously, kacchan looks good like this.

finally, the blonde lets him go, and izuku heaves. blood from his nose, and mouth gagging for air. he wonders what his mother would've said if he could see izuku right now. to run away, probably. to know better than to fall further into this when kacchan had shown him nothing but malice and violence. but izuku's always been weirdly stubborn, isn't he ? midoriya inko had wanted her son to be an office worker, to stray as further away as she could from the image of gore and brutality.

look at him, though. he will ever be afraid of this, he thinks. all of these spite and hatred ... isn't it still for him, just him ? ❛⠀i don't think me being under you is the image of loss you're hoping you'd aspire, kacchan. ❜ he laughs, a series choked sound, and if katsuki is still above him, izuku's roughened up boldly reaches forward: it slides the length of kacchan's clothed thighs, predicting that the blonde will wretch away from his touch soon. ❛⠀you should be careful. you don't know yet how much of my love i could still express. you're all i want, after all, kacchan. ❜

another strategy. let's see what bakugou katsuki has to say to that.

[taliaaurora]

If You Loved Me, Why Did You Leave Me? (4) - Confessions

Summary: Taking Severide's advice, Casey finally decides to hear what Y/N has to say. After a few glasses of wine, confessions are made.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: alcohol, mention of sex.

A/N: Hey, guys! This chapter is really angsty, but I don't think this is a surprise for anyone by now, lol. As you can tell by the title of this chapter and by the summary, the reader finally confesses her love for Casey. Enjoy the fic 💕

Series Masterlist

"Oh, come on, Otis! You're cheating!!" You shouted at your colleague, who was playing cards with you and Cruz in the common room.

"That's why I don't like to play with you. You're always cheating!" Cruz dramatically threw his cards on the table and went straight to the fridge to get something to eat.

You got up to get another cup of coffee and noticed Severide and Casey talking inside Casey's office.

Casey looked in your direction, then quickly brought his eyes back at Severide. They were probably talking about lieutenants' stuff, you thought.

"Sev, I tried. I asked her about what happened that night, but she doesn't remember." Casey sat on his bed, explaining himself to Severide. "Look, this is hurting me too. She's my best friend. But she's being too stubborn to admit that she fucked up."

Severide looked down, shaking his head.

"That's the thing, Casey. You're best friends. You never doubted each other's words, so why are you doubting now?" He finally looked at his friend's eyes. "I just hope you come to your senses before it's too late." He opened the door and stepped out of the office.

"What do you mean 'too late'?" Casey asked, confused.

"There's more behind all this." He licked his lips and looked at you, standing in the common room. "I'm not gonna say a word about it cause it's not my place to tell. But I'll tell you one thing." He paused and turned to look back at Casey. "You're about to lose a ten years friendship just because of a fling with your coworker." With that, Severide left to the apparatus floor.

"What are you not telling me, Y/N?" Casey wondered, watching you from his office.

-/-/-

When the shift finally ended, you made your way towards the locker room and grabbed your bags. All you wanted right now was to go back home and take a warm bubble bath.

You were making your way towards your car but stopped in your tracks when someone called you.

"Y/N, wait!" Casey ran in your direction and flashed you a smile. Something he hadn't done since the day at the bar.

"We're going to Cruz's place to watch the Blackhawks game tonight. Are you coming?" He asked, hoping you would say yes.

"Hum..I don't think so.." You knew Dawson would probably be there too. You couldn't go. "I'm really tired. I just wanna spend the night at home." You avoided his eyes and continued walking.

"Can I stop by your place then?" He wondered.

You turned back to look at him, confused.

"I just wanna talk. I don't like the way things are between us." He looked at you with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, sure." You nodded and walked back to your car. You couldn't tell if this was a good or a bad thing.

-/-/-

After the so-wanted bubble bath, you made your way to your closet, picking up some sweatpants and a comfy shirt. You put your hair in a messy bun and went to the kitchen.

Just when you finished washing the dishes from dinner, the doorbell rang.

Before opening the door, you took one last look in the mirror and fixed your hair, letting a few strands of hair fall loose over the sides of your face.

"Hey." You smiled and gestured for Casey to come inside.

"Hey." He smiled back. "I brought wine." He showed you the bottle and took a seat on the couch.

You grabbed two glasses in the kitchen and sat on the opposite end of the couch, keeping a comfortable distance between the two of you.

Casey looked behind you and noticed a male jacket thrown over the kitchen counter. 'Were you seeing someone?' He thought.

"It's Kelly's." You said, pouring him a glass of wine.

"What?" He looked back at you, confused.

"The jacket. It's Kelly's. He left it here a few days ago." You smiled and took a sip from your wine. "So, you wanted to talk?" You said, leaning back on the couch in a more comfortable position.

"Yeah....I'm just...tired of fighting and picking sides. I just want to put an end to this. I wanna go back to what we used to be." His voice was soft and sincere. He missed you.

You wanted to believe in the words he was saying but that was impossible. You weren't going back to what you used to be, not if he was seeing Dawson. That would hurt too much.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked, looking down at your glass.

"Sure. You can ask me anything." He assured you.

You took all the strength you could find in you and looked deep inside his eyes, preparing yourself to ask the question that's been haunting you since that day at the bar.

"Are you and Dawson seeing each other?" You finally asked.

The moment the words left your lips, he froze. He didn't expect you to ask that.

He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Looking down at the glass in his hands, he sighed and ran a hand down his face.

He was nervous. You noticed that. That could only mean one thing: you were right, they were together.

"We're not seeing each other." He said, now looking at you. "I mean, not exactly."

A dry laugh fell from your lips and you shook your head. Bringing the glass back to your lips, you drained the whole drink with one big gulp and poured another glass. You were going to need more than just one bottle of wine to go through this conversation.

Looking at Casey, you gestured for him to continue.

"That night at the bar she asked me to take her home, so I did. When I pulled up at her house, we said our goodnights and she..." He cleared his throat and took another sip from his wine.

He was nervous and his voice was starting to fail on him. "She kissed me. And, I'm not sure why, but I didn't stop her." He confessed.

You kept your head down, looking at your glass. You couldn't even look at his face right now. The feeling of betrayal washed over you. You were trying your best to hold back the tears.

"A few days later, I went to her house. She had a broken window and I told her I could fix it." He emptied his glass and poured another one. Just like you, he needed a lot of alcohol running through his veins in order to keep this conversation going.

"We were in the kitchen, cooking dinner....then we shared another kiss. Things were getting heated..." He felt a little uncomfortable sharing this, but he wanted to be honest with you. "I ended up spending the night at her place."

He noticed that you were too quiet. Coming closer to you, he put a hand under your chin so you could look up at him, but you flinched back.

"Y/N, look at me." His voice was soft. He didn't understand what was happening. He knew you weren't fond of Dawson, but he didn't think you would react like this.

You slowly raised your head and looked at him, your cheeks were stained with tears and your nose was red from crying. Putting a strand of hair behind your ear, you looked back down and shook your head. You couldn't believe this was happening.

"Y/N, please, say something. You're scaring me." He put his glass down on the coffee table and tried to move even closer to you, taking your hands in his.

"Don't!" You cracked out, letting out a sob. You stood up from the couch and started pacing across the living room.

"God, I'm so stupid!" You ran your hands through your hair and kept sobbing.

Casey didn't know what to do. He was completely lost. He was starting to get worried about you.

"Y/N, what happened!? What's going on?" He stood up from the couch.

"What happened, Casey!? Do you really wanna know what happened? Why?? You won't believe me anyway!" You shouted at him.

"But okay, I'll tell you what happened." You walked towards him, standing only a few inches away from his face.

"Your sweet Dawson has been harassing me since you and Hallie broke up!" You shouted in his face. "She's been turning your head against me since that day at the bar! I didn't say all those awful things to her, she lied to you. But you still chose to believe in her words over mine!!"

You paused and let out a heavy sigh, letting your arms fall to your sides.

"Casey, I've been your friend for ten years. Ten years!" You whispered- yelled, afraid that your voice would crack if you tried to speak louder. "I was by your side when you were all alone. When Hallie broke up with you, when Andy died,...When you felt like your whole world was crumbling down, I was there for you! I was there during the Academy and during all these years at 51. I never left your side. I never betrayed you. I never doubted you!" You shouted.

Casey didn't even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks. It wasn't the first time he saw you crying, but it hurt him nonetheless.

"Do you have any idea how much it hurts to see you with her? After all the things she did and said to me?" You looked at him with furrowed brows.

You felt like your legs were failing on you so you took a seat on the couch, resting your elbows on your knees and keeping your head down.

"I shouldn't have doubted you, I get it." Casey said, taking a seat next to you. "But I don't understand your reaction about my relationship with Dawson. My love life was never a problem for our friendship."

"God, Matt! How can you be so blind!??" You shouted, running your hands down your face. "I'm reacting like this because I love you! I'm in love with you!" You whispered-yelled, looking back at him.

Confusion was written all over his face.

"Casey, I'm in love with you since we met, back in the Academy." You wiped off your tears and tried to smile at him, remembering that day. "I knew you were dating Hallie, so I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make things weird between us."

You waited for him to say something, anything. But he just stayed there, in complete shock. His brain was trying to process the new information.

"Andy and Kelly knew about this. I guess the whole firehouse knew, but you." You let out a sigh and flashed him a sad smile. He didn't take his eyes off of you, listening closely to every word you said. "After your breakup with Hallie, I thought about telling you about how I really feel....but Dawson was always one step ahead."

Silence filled the room. Casey was trying to process what you just said when a question popped in his head. If he knew all this before, would he still have kissed Dawson? Would it have changed anything between the two of them?

"I don't know what to say." He answered, after what felt like an eternity. "I don't know how to respond to that." He looked at you with apologetic eyes.

"It's okay." You gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I know you don't feel the same way." You flashed him a sad smile. "I just need you to understand that...seeing you with Dawson is not gonna be easy for me, and I'm not even sure I can take that."

You got up from the couch and kissed the top of his head, making your way to your bedroom.

"Don't forget to close the door on your way out." You said, before disappearing from the room.

After the bedroom door was finally closed, you sobbed until your head started to pound. You couldn't see Casey and Dawson together. It would be too painful.

You knelt in front of your closet and grabbed one of the boxes placed on the floor. Opening it up, the first thing you saw was that damn picture. You and your brothers in front of Truck 81.

Another sob escaped your lips and you wondered how such a beautiful picture could carry some much pain. What once was a happy memory, now was a reminder of what you lost.

With a trembling hand, you picked the brown envelope that was placed underneath it. Maybe now was the time. Maybe you should finally do it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know, I know....this is not how you imagined the chapter would end. As you can see, the reader's life is not all sunshine and roses. But as I promised before, there will be a happy ending after all. 💖

Feel free to send me some feedback and tell me what you think about this chapter! Want to join my tag list? You can request it here!

Tag list: @wanniiieeee @twistnet @angelsjedi @nocturnalherb16

[thedrarrylibrarian]

16, 17 & 18 for the fic reader questions, pls and thank youuuuu!! If you've done those or they do not spark joy, feel free to swap them out for anything you'd like!! xox

Hello Love! Thanks for popping into the library to celebrate my 2 year blog anniversary with me!

16. What's an underrated fic that deserves more love?

I love this fic. I feel like I rarely see it on rec lists and I really enjoyed it. I like that food is a way for Draco to communicate and ask forgiveness from those he's wronged. I love that he's so determined to get Harry to come to one of his dinners, but it's such a quiet and gentle determination, especially in contrast to Harry's righteous indignation over the whole thing. And it must be said that this fic reminds me of one of my favorite books - Kitchens of the Great Midwest by J. Ryan Stradal.

Let him lead me to the banquet by @harryromper (16,066 words, rated T)

The worst part is Harry’s got no idea why Malfoy keeps sending him invites. He’s never replied to a single one. And if the whole dinner is as exclusive and sought-after as the Prophet keeps breathlessly reporting, then presumably the only reason Malfoy wants him there is in his capacity as the Chosen One. So, really, he can fuck right off. Harry doesn’t care about Draco Malfoy’s redemption tour. And he’s certainly not going to help him with it.

17. What's a fic that brought you on board with a ship you were skeptical about?

I love Pansmione...for other people. It's just never been my thing. It's a fine ship. I know it's another enemies to lovers ship, like Drarry, but there's never been enough chemistry in canon for me. I also really like Ron and Hermione. I think they fit together well - Ron's heart the match for Hermione's head.

This fic made me open to the possibility of Pansmione. I adored this fic - I loved the fake relationship aspect of it and how it let them get to know one another better. I loved the political drama of it - Hermione working so hard to be a champion of the people. I loved that though it was mostly from Hermione's point of view, she was not perfect. She was still cut-throat in doing what she thought was best and it let Pansy be a little bit softer and sweeter in comparison. I could really see Hermione as a workaholic politician and Pansy as philanthropist. The dynamic really worked for them in this fic and I'll consider more Pansmione in the future because of it!

sometimes you amaze me by burstofpeony (54,289 words, rated T)

Hermione’s on track to become the youngest Minister of Magic in history. There’s just one issue-- the polls hate her. Well, the polls hate her gayness, specifically. When a solution is presented that could fix everything, who’s she to decline?

18. What's a fic that made you cry?

I sobbed at this fic. It didn't help that I read it for the first time right after my grandfather passed away, but it was gutting in the best way. Harry and Draco's love for each other is so realistic because it's so ingrained into their everyday life - mugs and socks and pieces of paper left behind after someone is gone, routines that you don't even realize - and I felt every bit of Harry's grief so deeply. Losing my partner is one of my worst fears and this fic made that unimaginable thing so tangible that it left me with heartache for days afterwards.

However, it's not terribly difficult to make me cry. The thing that sets this fic apart is that after the tears, it made me hope too. Hopeful for Harry as he finds his way through this and hopeful because the love that Draco leaves behind sustains him.

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by @firethesound (44,706 words, rated E)

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

If you want to celebrate my two years of reccing in the library, feel free to pick an ask from this post!

❤ Lots of Love and Happy Reading! ❤

[rhysismydaddy]

Prisoner's Game Pt. 1 (Rowaelin)

Synopsis: Aelin Galathynius never thought of herself as a vengeful woman. Until her boyfriend not only testifies, but leads a case against her that lands her in prison for the rest of her life. Post I-Love-You's. He didn't believe her, and she's about to show him that not only is she innocent, he made the worst mistake of his life betting against her. To a woman with nothing but time, life's just a game, after all.

The cinderblock wall dug into her back uncomfortably as she reclined against it, the air in the room was stale, and she hadn't showered in two days. By any measurement, Aelin Galathynius was far from her best.

And yet she somehow managed to look perfectly at ease--happy even--as she lounged in her cell, toying with the ends of her too-long hair.

It was a ruse, of course, just a little trick to piss off the man currently stomping into her space. By the flare of Rowan Whitehorn's eyes, it worked.

"Hello, Rowan," she greeted pleasantly, giving him a little smile and acting like it wasn't taking everything in her not to use the makeshift knife under her pillow to gut him like the spineless coward he was.

She could tell, even across her 8x12 cell, that he was gritting his teeth and fighting a similar action.

The heel of his expensive Italian loafers clicked as he walked across the space to the small table and took a seat at the steel chair in front of it. He tried to push it out further, but stopped when he realized it was bolted to the floor.

"Aelin," he said back, none of the so-obvious anger he was feeling present in his voice. "Been a long time."

Eight years, six months, three weeks, two days, and thirteen hours.

Not that she was counting or anything.

She nodded her agreement, reclining further on the bed and crossing her legs as if she was in the finest dress she owned, not a faded orange jumpsuit.

"What brings you to my side of town, Rowan? Here to finally switch sides and represent me?"

Dressed in a two-thousand dollar suit and tie, hair perfectly gelled back, he looked like he was successful a lawyer meeting with a wealthy client, but they both knew the last thing he'd ever do was work for her.

"You know why I'm here."

She did indeed, but she still said, "I must be exceptionally smart to know why you've come all the way here-"

"Cut the shit," he snapped, finally losing a bit of his cool. He regained it quickly, though, and continued, "I want to know how you did it."

She frowned at her split ends. "Did what?"

Rowan waited until she looked at him to respond. "You know what."

Sighing so deeply it should've rattled the walls, she said, "I can't believe I've spent the last eight years thinking you underestimated my intelligence. You clearly think I'm some sort of oracle genius."

Rowan mimicked her sigh, and she bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

Probably trying to stall, he spent a moment looking at her cell, at the completely bare walls and lack of photographs. All she had was the tally marks drawn in pencil on one wall and a dusty chess set sitting on the table.

When he'd taken inventory of those two things, he sat and just looked at her.

It was clear she wouldn't admit to knowing exactly why he sat in front of her, and he was simply putting off being the one to fold.

Predictable, proud little man.

Eventually, he took his loss and said, "I want to know how you managed to rob me from inside the most secure prison in Rifthold."

She smiled, a full, undulated smile she hadn't used in a long time.

She'd been planning this moment since the day the bars had locked behind her, and it felt damn good to finally see it come to fruition.

According to what she'd heard, definitely not what she knew from personal experience, the private vault in Rowan's apartment had been broken into. Apparently, only one thing was missing: an antique dagger that had been handed down in the family and was now worth over a million bucks.

"Why do you think it was me?" she asked, still smiling.

He gritted his teeth some more, and she internally snickered at the idea he'd have permanent tooth damage because of her. Something else to remember her by.

Green eyes spitting flames at her, he growled, "You left a goddamn business card."

Aelin forced her eyes up to the empty bed above her head, trying her hardest not to laugh. "Maybe I'm being framed?"

"Your fingerprints were on it."

She did laugh then, then laughed some more when his eyes narrowed. He looked like he was about to strangle her. "Rowan, in case you haven't noticed, I'm incarcerated."

She gestured around them to her cell to prove her point.

The bastard just smiled.

Of course he knows that, she thought bitterly, forcing her hand back to her lap and away from where it'd started to creep toward the pillow.

"So how would I rob you?" she asked, getting her mind back on track.

"That's what you're going to tell me," he demanded angrily. "I want to know how you got out of here, got all the way across Rifthold, broke into my apartment, and stole from me without any surveillance camera picking it up."

Aelin ran a hand through her hair, fluffing it just right. When she caught sight of the impatience on his face, she fluffed it some more and readjusted the thin jacket on her shoulders.

It was always too damn cold in this place. She hadn't been warm in almost nine years.

Because of him.

Just for that, she fluffed her hair some more.

Then she said simply, "I didn't."

"Stop lying!" he shouted at her, eyes flashing.

She wasn't, but that was besides the point.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes like he'd won. "I got my cousin to-"

"Aedion spent the night in Wendlyn. His travel is verified, and there are at least a hundred eye witnesses that witnessed him singing karaoke all night. Stop. Fucking. Lying."

Once again, she wasn't lying.

Aedion sure as hell hadn't been in Wendlyn last night. She'd just wanted to make sure his alibi was air-tight as planned.

Sighing again, she asked, "Rowan, even if I did do it, why the hell would I tell you about it?"

His jaw worked for a moment, and she could tell whatever he was about to say was difficult for him. "I'll get time off your sentence if you tell me what you've done with it."

She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it.

It burst out of her, full and uncontrollable, and she flopped over on the dirty mattress and howled for a good few minutes.

He glared at her, looking for all the world like he was experiencing a portion of the rage she was made of, but regardless of the threat in his eyes, she took her time composing herself.

"I'm serving ten consecutive life sentences, you idiot."

One for each and every one of her "victims."

"I'll make it nine," he offered generously.

"Even if I was a cat, that'd still leave me dying in a prison cell. Offer me something else."

He just glared at her, unwilling to give her anything she could actually use or want. Just like she'd expected.

"That's what I thought. So no, Rowan Whitehorn, I'm not accepting your little deal. You can think I robbed you all you want; hell, you can even know, in your famous gut, that I did it." She tilted her head, a cruel smile filling her lips. "But it isn't about what you believe, it's about what you can prove. Isn't that right?"

His eyes shuttered at the words, and just like that, they were sucked into the memory of all those years ago.

~Eight years ago~

~Rowan~

Rowan rolled over, edging away from the woman next to him carefully as to not wake her.

Her hair was spread out on his chest, her soft hand was on his stomach, and her leg was draped over his. By all accounts, she was all over him.

And it felt so fucking good.

He'd never met anyone like Aelin before. Anyone so full of life, so hilariously open.

It was like she was constantly on fire, flitting from one place to the next with endless energy and jabs about him being too old and slow.

"What are you going?" she murmured, nails digging in slightly to keep him where he was.

"To get some water. Go back to sleep."

He leaned down and kissed her brow, and she sighed happily and rolled over. Like a total cliché, he watched her sleep for a moment, trying to get his feelings under control.

They'd been seeing each other for less than a year, but he couldn't imagine his life without her. He was in love with her, and if the way she acted and smiled around him was any indication, she loved him, too.

He ran a thumb over her cheekbone, smiling when she tilted her face into his touch.

He was whipped, and he didn't even care.

Rowan shook his head at himself, pulled on a pair of boxers, padded to the kitchen, and held a glass under the faucet.

Then frowned as it sputtered.

He figured he'd at least make himself useful, knowing damn well she would never agree to call the plumber when she could "figure out how to fix it herself on Youtube."

So he knelt down in her kitchen and opened the cabinet door, trying to see what the problem with the pipe was.

Except he never got that far.

His eyes got stuck on the piece of paper sticking out under a false piece of wood covering the back panel.

Knowing it was wrong to pry but somehow unable to stop himself, he tugged the paper loose.

Then fell backwards to his ass, heart hammering and brain spinning as he read it over and over again.

The list of names wasn't long, but all ten of the people on it were highly distinguished members of society.

And they were all dead.

He wouldn't know that, since the death of the last person on the list wasn't even public record yet, but he was the attorney working with the police to find the killer.

Why did she have this list?

And what did the numbers next to the names mean?

One way or another, he knew he had to find out. He also knew he couldn't ask her. He was in too deep, too unbiased to know whether or not she was lying.

He didn't trust himself with her, so he'd have to go the traditional route.

He took a picture of the paper quickly, tucking it back where he'd found it. He snuck back in the room to get dressed, leaving her a note he had to go to work.

He thought he was going to be sick as he left her apartment, a feeling suspiciously similar to dread coiling in his stomach.

There was only one way she could know that last name, only one explanation that made sense.

But he had to know for sure. Had to know if he'd been an idiot this past year; an idiot who'd spent almost every night sleeping next to the killer he'd been searching for.

So he started investigating his girlfriend.

Six days later, he found the security deposit boxes and the murder weapons inside, still covered in dried blood that would be matched to the victims. All with Aelin's prints on them.

Two days after that, the woman he'd thought was the love of his life was arrested on ten counts of murder.

Despite the tears she shed, despite the promises she made to him, despite the love she claimed to have for him, Rowan told the cops everything.

Even though he couldn't imagine her killing anyone.

"It doesn't matter what I believe, it matters what I can prove."

That was the last thing he'd said to her, right as she was being dragged out of the court room and yelling at him to believe her.

The truth of the matter was that when it came down to it, he didn't trust her enough. The facts were against her, everyone on the jury had been against her, and in the end, Rowan was too.

~Present~

~Aelin~

Rowan shook his head, almost like he needed to clear it from the memory they'd obviously both been immersed in, and she smiled.

She hoped what happened all those years ago still haunted him, hoped he went to sleep at night thinking about her and the betrayal he'd served to her on a silver platter.

The first year of her sentence, she was so lost in emotion--in the rage and confusion and deep, deep hurt--that she couldn't bring herself to do anything.

He hadn't even bothered to ask her first. That's what had hurt the worst.

He'd seen that stupid, stupid list and had jumped to the first conclusion possible.

She knew it had looked bad, had looked like she was guilty, but she'd thought that if the worst happened, he'd at least ask her to explain before slapping the cuffs on her.

But he hadn't. She'd gone to prison, and his career had exploded into stardom from the success of the case.

"See, Rowan, when you refused to accept any other explanation other than the easy one, you made a mistake. Because I didn't kill those people."

He rolled his eyes. "Aelin-"

"And I'm not only going to prove it," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I'm going to ruin your precious little life while I do it. Just like you did mine."

She stood, put a hand on the steel table, and leaned over him.

"If you want it to stop, all you have to do is drop these bullshit murder charges and issue a public apology for locking me up in the first place."

He stood too, so close his loafers brushed the toe of her dusty, prison issued sneakers.

"That's never going to happen," he promised, voice uncompromising and angry.

Aelin smiled, having predicted his reaction down to the facial expression.

His pride, she'd decided, would be the first thing to go.

She reached around him to slide the pawn on the chess board forward, leaned in even further, and whispered, "Let the game begin, then."

~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

@perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @live-the-fangirl-life @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @gracie-rosee @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @inardour @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[deexchanel]

little girl in a box.

word count:

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x BlackFem!Reader

Warning: Swearing, mention of killing😬.

Summary: Bucky and Y/N comes home from their date to find a sweetheart in a box.

A/N: this haven't been my week so im using fanfiction to be a distraction.

Y/N and Bucky walked up the stairs to their apartment in Bucharest. They were holding hands, engaged in a conversation.

"I was thinking, what if I made shrimp alfredo?" Y/N asked as their hands sway back and forth. Bucky looked at her confused.

"What's alfredo?"

"Oh my god, you never had it before?"

"I mean in the army they boiled everything. It wasn't really lavish."

"Everything boiled sound so nasty."

"I know right but I managed. What's going to be in it?"

"Shrimp and pasta with Alfredo sauce. I think you're going to love it!"

"That's fine with me babe, as long as it isn't soup."

"Same." Y/N laughed letting go of his hand so she could unlock the door. Normally they would go through the window. But just for one night, they didn't want to be paranoid. Just to have one normal night.

Bucky stopped in his tracks staring at a medium size box that had big holes poked in it. "Y/N were you expecting something?"

"No." Y/N with hesitation getting worried that this might a setup. Bucky pulled her behind him protectively then proceeded to nudge open the box. The box top fell off and a pair of brown doe eyes stared back at them. Bucky hardened face expression soften as he saw a beautiful little girl in the box.

Whoever left this beautiful child in the box was a horrible person in general. The little girl sat up looking at the couple nervously. Bucky squat down so they could be eye level.

"Hi princess... I'm Bucky and that's my girlfriend Y/N. Would you like to tell me your name?" Bucky said softly then pointed at Y/N who waved giving a toothless smile. It was like Bucky's dad instincts kicked in as he felt the need to protect the little girl any way he could.

She shook her head as a way of saying she didn't want to talk. Her body was skinny seeming that she haven't ate in a couple of days. She looked no older then 4. Y/N squat down to help ease her nerves.

"How about we go in and get you something to eat?"

The little girl looked at Y/N scaredly and instantly held her arms out for Bucky. Y/N sigh knowing that whatever happened in this girl past, she was scared of women she didn't trust. Bucky picked her up gently not wanted to hurt her with his arm.

They walked into the apartment and Y/N quickly started to prepare dinner. Bucky sat on the bed while the little girl sat on the side of them. He tries to start conversation again with her.

"Can you tell me your name now?"

The little girl looked around before speaking softly,"Melanie.."

The pair looked at each otherin shock, he got her to talk. There wasn't any technology in the room so they best way to stay entertained was to have conversation.

"Well Melanie how old are you?" Bucky questioned.

"Five." She said but held up three fingers making Bucky smile in amusement. He helped her by raising up another finger.

"How old are you?"

Y/N giggled while fixing their bowls. Nobody have ever asked him that. Bucky laughed since its been a long time since someone asked him that.

"Well doll, I'm 106."

Melanie made a funny face turning her head to the side. Y/N came over with three bowls in her hands. Bucky grabbed the bowls passing one to Melanie, while holding the other ones as Y/N sat down so she wouldn't spill it.

"Can I eat all of it? I've been good all week." Melanie moved some of her hair from her face with a a sadden expression. Y/N felt so bad for her, this wasn't right.

"Baby you can eat all it. I can make more if you want some okay?"

"Okay." Melanie smiled digging in her food. Bucky and Y/N shared a look. He was angry that she went through horrible things at a young age.

After dinner, Bucky washed and put the dishes away while Y/N laid down on the mattress. Melanie kept picking her head up to see if Bucky was coming.

"He's coming honey, he's washing dishes."Y/N laughed softly realizing what she was doing. "You tired?"

Melanie shook her head, rubbing her eyes,"No."

"Yes you are. Come here?" Y/N asked nicely but Melanie poked out her lip. She was sitting in the middle of the mattress near Y/N's knees.

"Noo, I'm waiting on Bucky."

"Here I am princess." Bucky grunt getting on his knees behind her. Melanie looked happy as he picked her up, walking on his knees to get to this spot on the mattress. Y/N laid on her side, watching them in admiration. 

Melanie was very brave and didn't take long getting used to the couple. Food was a way to her heart so the trust came quickly. She was snuggled between Bucky and Y/N while they cuddled her enjoying their sleep.

-----------

2:48 a.m.

People smashing through the apartment windows starled them awoke. Before Bucky could reach for his gun, a man punched him in the face. Y/N quickly grabbed Melanie holding her into her chest then gets up grabbing the emergency bookbag.

The couple agreed that if this was to happen then find the best way out possible. They would find each other no matter how far away they was. Bucky did one on one combat with the man that broke in.

"GO Y/N!"

She nodded rushing to the door making sure to keep a good grip on Melanie. When she opened the door a man stood their with a gun pointed directly at her head. Melanie start to cry with all the commotion going on. Tears start to fall out of Y/N's eyes, thinking this was it.

"Go back in now or I won't hesitate putting one between your eyes." The man sneered putting the cold gun on her forehead. Y/N turned around going back into the apartment. Bucky closed his eyes trying not to lose it as he saw his family being held at gun point.  He was being held at gun point as well but he was hoping that his girls was able to get away.

"So Winter Soldier, you really thought you could get away." A man laughed turning on a light revealing his face. It was Rumlow holding Bucky at gun point and the man that held Y/N at gun point was Pierce. Bucky chest heaved up and down as he was getting angrier.

Melanie little face was turning red from how hard she was crying. Pierce rapidly pointed another gun in his other hand at Melanie's little forehead.

"NO!"Bucky jumped forward but Rumlow put the gun on his forehead making him stop. Pierce took the gun off safety pressing it harder on Melanie's forehead which makes Y/N sob harder.

"Shut the little brat up!"

"Melanie baby, stop... stop crying we're okay. Bucky's okay." Y/N lied hoping she was to stop crying. Melanie cries turns into sniffles looking at Y/N hopefully.

Y/N nod her head crying,"We're okay baby."

Bucky felt like he let his girls down. He was so angry that he wanted to kill both of them but he couldn't move. "I'll go back and do whatever. Just p-please leave my family out of this."

"That's what I wanted to hear! Cuff him!" Pierce exclaimed letting the guns drop from Y/N and Melanie. Y/N shook her head not wanting Bucky to leave and endure all the things they worked so hard for him to forget.

"Bucky no!”

"Shut it bitch!" Pierce snapped at her holding the gun to her head again making her jump. It was killing Bucky for not being able to help.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I love you." Bucky sigh putting his arms behind his back so Rumlow could cuff him. As Rumlow did, Redwing flew in dropping a disk on Pierce's forehead electrocuting him. Sending him unconscious.

Bucky ducked as Rumlow shot the gun towards him making the girls scream. Sam flew in the window taking out the extra gaurd that stood by the refrigerator. Bucky stood up swiftly so he could take out Rumlow.

He smirked aiming the gun towards the girls," I guess nobody's getting what they want." Rumlow shot the gun at the girls. Y/N used her body to shield Melanie. Bucky stared in horror as he tried to get to them but Steve's shield covered them from the bullets.

Bucky turned around angrily at Rumlow pulling out the secret gun that was in his  waist holster. With no hesitation, Bucky shoots him between the eyes. Rumlow body fell to the ground.

Y/N came from behind Steve's large frame. She walked over to Bucky and pulled him into a hug without crushing Melanie's little body. Bucky rubbed his hand through Y/N hair and kissed Melanie's forehead. They didn't have anything to say, they were just grateful to all be alive.

"I'm so sorry to ruin this moment guys but we need to go. Their supposed to be bringing in reinforcements any second." Steve said placing his shield on his back.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. bring the jet back around." Sam pressed his finger on the com.

--------------------

On the jet, it was quiet but peaceful time for them to rejuvenate. Bucky couldn't sleep so he watched over his girls who were sleeping.

Melanie slept on his chest with his metal arm holding her up so her face could implant into his neck. Y/N was cuddled up with his arm wrapped around her. He kissed their foreheads every other second for his comfort.

"Thank you guys." Bucky said to Sam and Steve who were sitting in the in the front seats of quinjet.

"Just gald you guys are safe." Steve pat his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"Plus we were able to kill two birds with one stone. Bonus but glad we could help."Sam said making Bucky smiled. He looked at his girls, very content with life.

------------

horrible writing.

I wrote this bout a year ago. I don't like it, but i just needed it as a distraction.

stay slutty my friends

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 1

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 7.2k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

------------

Seohyun kicked a pebble with her boot, sending it flying in the air. The black cat following Seohyun meowed as it wandered between her legs, rubbing itself along her naked legs. Seohyun kicked another pebble, and the cat meowed louder.

"I know, I know," she said, sighing, "I shouldn't have helped him."

The cat's grey eyes twinkled and it jumped a little to keep pace with Seohyun. She adjusted her sunglasses with the tip of her finger and tucked her long hair behind her ears, keeping her eyes fixed to the ground in hopes of finding more pebbles that she could kick.

Seohyun's hands went to the straps of her school bag on her shoulders as she finally found one, and she smirked. "Hey kitty, I'm gonna kick this one real hard."

As if the cat understood, it sat near her to watch the scene. Seohyun aimed her foot, sending the pebble flying with full force as a short laugh escaped her. She waited for the satisfying sound of the pebble hitting something hard, but a wail of pain answered her instead.

"Oops," Seohyun grimaced as she motioned the cat to follow her, trying to flee before she was caught. However, luck was rarely on her side.

"It was you, right?" She heard a boyish voice call out. She sneaked a peek, seeing a group of colourful heads belonging to boys that grew larger and larger as more joined them.

"I thought I hit one? Why are there so many..." she muttered, then turned back, bowing her head in a quick apology and turning again to run away, almost tripping on the cat and it howled in pain before following her.

"Hey, stop!" She heard voices, and she just sped up. She had enough to worry about.

"Where are my ghost friends when I need them.." Seohyun muttered under her breath as she sped up, cursing mentally. She could hear steps draw closer by every second, and she finally turned abruptly, making the group of boys stop dead in their tracks, bumping at each other.

"I apologized, what do you all want now?"

"You never apologized," the blue haired one said.

"Why do you think I bowed? To thank you?" Seohyun retorted. The blonde snickered, earning a kick in his ribs from not one but two of them.

"We couldn't see from so far, at least apologize properly!"

"Alright, alright. Was it you who got hit?"

"No, it was-"

Seohyun sighed out loud. "What got you so worked up then, if it wasn't even you?"

"He's my friend?" The blue haired boy said, making it sound more like a question.

"I told you all not to make a fuss, it's not like she did it on purpose," Seohyun heard one of them say, and her eyes shifted towards the boy with black hair, the eyebrow slit further defining his sharp features. Indeed, he was hurt. There was a painful scratch where the pebble must have grazed his cheekbone.

"Ah, so it was you..." Seohyun bit her lip. She thought she should apologize properly, so she bowed properly this time, and got up. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry."

His eyes burned holes in her even though she wore sunglasses. He pursed his lips, nodding. "It's okay, just be careful next time."

She nodded. "Can I go now?" She didn't wait for an answer and turned, motioning the cat to come along, who meowed.

"Wait!" The eyebrow-slit boy sat down on one knee, motioning the cat to come to him, who gladly obliged and Seohyun rolled her eyes. He smiled at the cat, rubbing its head and offering it a biscuit, which the cat graciously accepted, munching right into it.

"Do you even give your cat food? It's so thin."

"It's not mine," Seohyun said and the boy's head turned up to look at her, curiosity in his eyes obvious. "It followed you rather gladly."

Seohyun just shrugged, looking away from his gaze and observing the group now. They were all dressed in school uniform like her, but it looked like it was a different school. She internally smiled at the interesting mix that stood in front of her.

"San, let's go," she heard the red-head call out. San, she thought.

"I need to go now too." Seohyun said, waiting for the boy to stop playing with the cat.

The boy- San- got up and said, "You said it's not yours. Can I take it then?"

Seohyun almost said yes, but hesitated. It was true the cat was not hers, but at this point, she could call it hers, the way it always followed her around whenever she was out. She had rather grown attached to the constant presence of her black furry friend.

"Uhh, I mean you could, but..." she bit her lip as she looked back as if for help, and then turned back to the boy. "This cat is my only friend."

Seohyun hated how it had almost come as a whisper, but the boy looked like he understood as he nodded, taking a step back. "I'll see you around then," he smiled sweetly at the cat, who meowed at him.

Seohyun finally turned, not bothering to check if the cat followed her or that boy, San. She was too scared to check. But when she heard the cat meow and rub at her legs, she smiled in relief.

"I'll feed you more now, I promise," she smiled at the cat.

Meanwhile, San watched the odd pair walk away in the distance.

"So rude!" the blue haired boy said, and everyone laughed. San turned and shook his head. "Not my fault you decided to act like my parent, Hongjoong."

"Doesn't look like she's from our school, but isn't it the school near the place we usually go to eat dinner?" The blonde asked.

"Yeah, it looks like it. You're treating us to dinner there tomorrow. You remember, right Yeosang?"

"You're always hungry for food Wooyoung, how could I forget?" He answered.

The group started to walk their way, talking about their plans for dinner, but San couldn't stop thinking about the girl with the grey streaks in her hair, the girl who had no friends other than a black cat. He unconsciously shook his head, finally paying attention to his present.

----------

"I said I'm sorry!" Seohyun yelled, "Now you leave my hair, and I'll leave yours."

"You first," the woman replied.

"Together, okay? One, two, three- YOU! You lied!"

"You lied too!" The woman shouted, and pulled at Seohyun's hair, earning a satisfactory groan from her.

"It's not like you can feel pain! You're a freaking ghost!"

"Doesn't mean I'm not insulted," the woman smirked, "Alright, I'll leave you first, and you leave no more than a second after, otherwise I'll make sure you feel the pain you love." The woman let go of Seohyun's hair and Seohyun did so right after, taking quick steps backward as she massaged her head.

"Bitch..." she muttered, and the woman laughed out loud.

The woman- ghost- had been keeping Seohyun company for about two months now, occasionally popping out of nowhere and leaving just as abruptly. At first, Seohyun had tried to help her in some way, help her move on and come to terms with her sudden death by accident, but the young woman had quite a difficult death and she was the first of a kind- a ghost with amnesia. No memories of how she had died and why she hadn't moved on.

Seohyun had to admit that she had grown used to her presence. She often found herself narrating her uneventful day to her, just like today, when she had excessively complained how useless of a friend she was and how none of her ghost friends had ever done her a favour. Somehow that had turned into an argument and then to them resorting to pulling each other's hair our, except her ghost friend couldn't feel any pain since she was, well, a ghost. Dead.

"I mean," Seohyun continued, fiddling with her hair, "it would have saved me from embarrassment had you popped up and helped me out there."

"What could I have done?" The woman sat down on the pavement, the black cat gladly jumping on her lap as the woman ran her hands through her fur. "It's not like anyone else can see me."

"Hello? You could have made me disappear."

"You know it's not good for your health. Why do it unless absolutely, absolutely necessary?" The woman glared at her.

"YES! That was absolutely, absolutely necessary. There were 8 of them! I was alone!" Seohyun whined and the woman just ignored her.

"Unnie~" Seohyun sat down near her, and the woman slid away from her.

"I told you not to call me that. I have a name, and it's Jiwoo."

"How can I call you by your name? You're much older than me." Seohyun grinned.

"And that's why I don't help you. Because you're a stubborn one. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm not that old."

"That's rich coming from you," Seohyun retorted, ignoring the last remark, "I'm not the one refusing to move on just because I can't get enough of worldly pleasures."

"And that's my cue to leave you alone, like you always are. There's a reason you don't have friends, Seohyun." Jiwoo got up, putting the curled cat on the pavement.

"I do have friends-"

"I'm talking about human friends. Your sharp tongue and stubborn heart, it's about time you change that."

"I-" Before Seohyun could complete, Jiwoo disappeared. Seohyun sighed, her heart sinking a bit at her harsh but true words.

There was indeed a reason that she had no friends. And it wasn't her ability to see ghosts.

Seohyun pulled her knees to her chest, shutting her eyes. She wanted to disappear.

--------------

Senior year of high school was supposed to be tough, yes, but Seohyun had to face challenges other than academic ones.

And it wasn't just the fact that she had no social life at all; she only had a group of people she could interact with if need be, otherwise she was perfectly content on being on her own. She had no problem staying amused in her own company.

The problem was with Seohyun, though not directly. It was the problem that she could see and interact with some of the dead. And the dead made sure she got in trouble if she didn't hear their woes and skipped school to maybe find them something (or someone) they had an attachment to, or didn't take them to their loved ones immediately.

She had often tried to reason with them; she tried to explain that she was perfectly aware how bad they must have it, but she had it worse since she was still alive, and with life came unforeseen consequences, such as having to face her mother if they caused a scene (which they usually did), or if they tried to grab her attention by any means necessary, such as causing her desk to fall, her stuff to fly (where she would immediately have to either hold it or pretend to have thrown it).

She tried, oh she tried so hard to tell them to wait until she was free from school and then she would do whatever they asked her to, but no. Apparently whatever they wanted to do was more important than her school, her reputation (already in ruins), everything. There rarely was someone patient enough, and those she made sure she looked after properly. Like Jiwoo.

She wished Jiwoo was here so she could get rid of the old wrinkly man in front of her. She was trying to focus on her mathematics but it was hard to when a fat belly blocked her vision. And she couldn't even say anything out loud, so she just sent daggers through her eyes, the message in her eyes clear. But the old man just smirked, continuing to block her vision.

Seohyun sighed and turned the page of her notebook, scribbling in it, then turned the notebook to the ghost in front of her. The man was short so he didn't have to bend as he read what she had written.

"IF YOU COULD STOP PESTERING ME FOR A FEW MINUTES YOU WRINKLY OLD MAN I CAN'T FOCUS ON MATHS BECAUSE OF YOU"

The old man smirked, and Seohyun wished she could kick him somewhere he would surely feel pain even though ghosts couldn't feel pain. She was so absorbed in thinking of ways that she could make this ghost feel pain that she didn't notice him take her notebook and run away before she could snatch it back.

As soon as Seohyun noticed, she jerked in her seat, stopping herself from getting up and following him. He stopped a few feet away, teasingly coming closer and closer, the frown on Seohyun's face getting deeper and deeper until he stopped near the girl sitting in front of her, tore a page from her notebook and gave it back.

And then he did what she dreaded. He made a ball out of that paper, aimed at the teacher, taking one last look at the very satisfying horrified face of the girl who could see ghosts but refused to help them, and threw the paper ball at the teacher with considerable force, hitting him on his head.

The teacher turned, running his eyes across the classroom, not missing how everyone was glancing between the teacher and Seohyun, who folded her arms rather defensively, silently praying he wouldn't actually pick the paper ball. But the teacher bent down, and it so happened that he was also old, and a bit wrinkly, so when he read the scribbled message, his face went red.

"Who was it?!" The teacher pushed his glasses up his nose-bridge and watched as the students hesitantly pointed to Seohyun, who sank deeper into her chair, as if somehow a pit would open and swallow her.

"You meet me in my office after class." The teacher shook his head in disappointment and continued where he left.

Seohyun was given a warning, and it was her second. She had only one left before she would be kicked out of school (if something big happened, which usually did if she waited for the third warning) so she decided it was time for her to move on again.

And this time she dreaded. It was always a hassle to explain to her mom what had happened. Her mom knew she could see ghosts and when she was little, she had tried all sorts of methods, of almost all religions she could think of, hoping her only daughter would turn out normal, but she had failed. But now she liked to pretend that she had forgotten all about it, and when Seohyun told her she had gotten into trouble, she would silently nod and get her to change schools before something big happened and it got written in her school record.

So a few attempts from the old ghost trying to get her in trouble and a few days later, Seohyun was finally free of struggling. She changed schools. And tomorrow would be her first day, hopefully the last time she had to change schools before her senior year ended. Before high school ended.

Seohyun was still dressed in her old school's uniform when she went to her new school to submit her files and make sure everything was good before her first day. She had her baseball cap on this time, making sure she would hide most of her face since a lot of people would be staring at her. It was normal to stare when someone from another school came.

The black cat found her once again, following her as she walked to the building. Seohyun motioned the cat to stay and it obeyed, watching the girl walk into the building.

From a distance, San and his friends were watching the whole scene. They had recognized the girl not by her face, which was half-hidden anyway, but her cat and the grey streaks in her hair.

"Let's hope she doesn't attack you with a pebble again," Yunho snickered, and San smiled, his hand unconsciously going to the now faint scratch on his face.

"I'm not going to your rescue if that happens," Hongjoong said and Seonghwa chimed in, "Neither will I."

"I never asked you anyway..." San trailed off.

"The cat looks like it wants to escape," Jongho pointed his finger at the hoard of girls that gathered around the poor cat. "Poor cat."

"San, you should go bring the cat. It would recognize you," Mingi suggested and San considered. The cat was worth saving.

A few moments later, San was back with the cat in his arms. The cat did recognize him. He bought the cat to the boys, who lightly patted her one by one, taking turns so she wouldn't feel scared.

After about five minutes, the boys heard someone clear their throat right behind them. They turned to see it was that girl.

"Aren't you the same group from that day?" Seohyun wondered out loud.

"The cat was scared because people were gathering around her, so we brought her here," Yeosang said.

"That's... kind of you," Seohyun met eyes with each of them, and the boys got a proper look at her face for the first time without her glasses. She had light eyes. The shadows beneath her eyes were dark, which contrasted with her eyes rather strikingly.

"What were you doing here? You're not from our school," Wooyoung commented.

"Oh, I'll be joining from tomorrow..." Seohyun realized somehow she's ended up in the same school as the boys. "What class are you in?"

"Senior year, all of us," Wooyoung replied, and they didn't miss her groan.

"I'm guessing you're senior year too," Seonghwa asked, earning a nod of confirmation.

"How ironic. What if you end up in our class?" Yeosang wondered.

"God forbid," Seohyun shook her head, making them smile despite her remark. "Now, should I leave the cat here, or..."

"Does it have a name?" San asked, rubbing under the cat's chin.

"Uh, no actually," Seohyun faltered when she saw San give her a disappointed look, "I just call her kitty. You can give it a name if you want to."

"I'll think about it," San shifted his arms to hand the cat over to Seohyun, and she took it, placing the cat on her shoulders, waiting until she sat around her neck like she usually did.

"I guess I'll go now," she met eyes with San for the last time, noticing the mole on his eyelid. San nodded, and she muttered an awkward bye before walking past them, cursing at herself mentally for being so awkward with them.

"It's you who got me in trouble, you dumb cat," she muttered under her breath. The cat didn't even bother reply.

The boys watched her leave, and Yeosang finally spoke, "I have a feeling she'll be in our class now. Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Interesting," Jongho smiled, "Does San have a new friend now?"

"The cat? Sure." San smirked.

"Ah, let's see how that changes," Jongho retorted, smirking back.

---------------

Seohyun tried to calm her nerves as she looked at herself in the mirror of the girls' toilet in her new school.

The nerves always got the better of her whenever it was her first day at a school. It usually took her about three days to get comfortable with a new environment. Seohyun sighed as she wiped her sweaty palms on her black skirt, staring at her light brown eyes. She wished she could cover them with her sunglasses so she could avoid the excessive eye contact with humans and ghosts. Sadly, she couldn't do that in class.

She finally took a deep breath and somehow managed to make herself walk to the office, where she met her homeroom teacher, a middle-aged woman. She walked along with her to her class, and the teacher smiled warmly at her as she nudged her to come along.

They entered the class and watched as the boys and girls went back to sit at their seats, the room slowly falling silent. The teacher cleared her throat.

"Good morning class, we have a new student today. Please introduce yourself."

Seohyun, who had been looking down the entire time, finally gathered whatever courage she had and ran her eyes along the class as she finally spoke.

"Good morning, I am Lee Seohyun. I hope we can get along well."

"Alright, why don't you find yourself a seat?" The teacher said and Seohyun nodded, looking at the few empty seats and considering her choices.

Her first priority was to sit as far away as possible. Preferably by the window. There was one empty seat in the furthest row, but it was next to the seat by the window already occupied by someone-

It was one of those boys. She only knew San's name for now, and it was the blonde one. She quickly scanned her other options and decided this was the best for now.

As she made her way, she realized the 8 of them were all sitting around the empty seat that she was about to sit on. San was in front of her, the strawberry blonde on her other side, the rest around them too. She wondered if the seat belonged to one of their friends so she quietly asked the blonde, "Is this seat free?"

He shook his head and she internally sighed in relief as she settled herself, focusing on whatever the homeroom teacher said, trying not to stare holes at the back of San's head, until she left a few minutes later and she slumped back in her chair.

San finally turned, raising his brows, "What a coincidence."

Seohyun shrugged, straightening her skirt. "Ironic, really."

"Is there a reason you changed schools?" The blonde turned towards her, resting his head on his hand as he looked at her curiously.

"Uh," Seohyun hesitated as she tried to recall her excuse for every time someone asked her this, "for convenience. It's closer to home."

"That's an interesting reason to change school," he replied, earning a shrug.

"Maybe she doesn't want to tell you why exactly. Am I right?" San locked eyes with her, his smirk growing.

"Maybe," Seohyun teased back.

"How's your cat?" She heard someone call, and she looked at the black haired boy.

"It's not exactly mine, but it's fine. Probably."

"That's... reassuring. I'm Wooyoung by the way. This is Yeosang-" he pointed to the blonde next to her, "San, and that's Yunho next to you."

She looked at Yunho and he waved shyly. "That's Seonghwa," he pointed in front of him, and when Seohyun nodded, he continued, "The blueberry is Hongjoong, the red one is Jongho, and that's Mingi over there."

Seohyun nodded slowly, looking at them all slowly. "Yunho, Seonghwa, Hongjoong blueberry,-"

"I heard that!" Hongjoong shouted, turning around and making a pout at Seonghwa. Ignoring him, she continued, "San, Jongho in the front, then Mingi beside him, Wooyoung and Yeosang. I got it."

"You're quick," Yunho grinned. Seohyun wished she could tell him that it was because of the several hundred ghosts she had met and had promised never to forget their names.

"So the 8 of you are friends?" She asked, and San nodded. "Why was this seat in the middle empty then?"

"Mingi used to sit here but his eyesight got worse so he moved to the front."

"Well, that explains..."

Their teacher walked in, a man in his 30s, and she found out he was to be her math teacher. At least he's not old and wrinkly, she thought as she took out her notebook.

---------

The rest of her day was uneventful, except for the break when the boys asked if she wanted to join them but she didn't. She said she had to go to the office, but that was a lie. She wanted to take a breather.

When they left, she looked again at her options. She was already regretting sitting among the group of friends. She was going to be a disturbance to them, or something even worse. She didn't want them to think she was weird. Not yet.

She surprised herself at the thought. Why did she care? She had never cared before. But she told herself it was probably because she had a few encounters with them before and it would be weirder if they found out now. That she was strange. They'd probably stop talking to her very suddenly. That part always hurt her, which was why she always avoided making friends.

Seohyun shook her head and looked at the empty seat in the middle of the room. The spot was out of question. Being in the middle of the room meant she could be surprised from anywhere by those damned ghosts.

Then there was one in the very front with the wall. She could go there, but...

She felt more comfortable here. The spot was perfect. The problem was the boys. They were in for disappointment.

She saw some girls staring at her. They were probably considering if they should talk and make friends with her. But Seohyun was in no mood for friends, so she just put her head on the desk and closed her eyes.

She almost drifted to sleep when she heard someone put something on her desk. She got up and saw that it was San. "We figured you didn't have time for lunch, so."

Seohyun looked from the bread and juice to San, and back at the food presented to her. "Thank you, that's uh... very kind of you?" She looked at San and Yeosang, and they laughed shamelessly at her.

"You don't sound so happy," Yeosang commented and she shook her head, sipping at the juice to prove her point as she said, "No, actually I'm glad, but it wasn't necessary."

They just shook her head at her, smiling as they absorbed themselves in some discussion. Seohyun silently ate the bread, wishing she could disappear because she didn't even know how to thank people properly.

At that moment, Jiwoo the ghost appeared, and Seohyun muttered, "About freaking time."

Jiwoo laughed and said, "I see you're having a good day."

"And I don't expect you to ruin it, so please live up to my expectations for once," Seohyun hissed, keeping her voice as low as possible, but it still made Seonghwa look at her once before he focused back on his friends.

Seohyun sighed. She couldn't write in her notebook now because they would definitely see it. And she couldn't talk. So she just folded her arms as she slowly sipped on the juice while Jiwoo danced around the classroom.

As soon as the bell rang indicating the end of the day, Seohyun sighed in relief. The day was over without any incident. She slowly packed her bag, thinking about her promise to meet a new ghost after her school. It was a girl about her age, and thankfully she understood what school demanded of her, so she had promised to not disturb her.

"You look ready to go to your bed and fall right asleep," Yeosang commented.

"Tell me about it," Seohyun muttered, wearing her bag and making her way out of the class, the boys not far behind.

San watched Seohyun walk as if she was in a hurry but couldn't care less at the same time. She would speed up, then slow down again, and repeat.

"Are you in a hurry?" Wooyoung asked her, falling in step with her.

"Uh, not really. Just can't wait to get home," she said, but her voice didn't match what she said. She sounded the least excited to do that.

"Long day, huh?" Wooyoung said and she finally passed him a smile. "So you know no one at this school?"

"Well," she said, "I am new."

"Well, you can be our friend. Only if you want to."

She stopped in her track, making San almost bump in her, and she muttered a sorry to him as she continued walking again. San decided he would join them now.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Not sure you'd like me as a friend."

"And why do you think that?" San looked at her curiously.

Seohyun sighed, "I'm... how do I put it? I don't think I need friends. But that sounds rude. I don't mean to sound rude, it's just... better if you all don't mind me. I'd only be a bother and make everyone uncomfortable."

"We don't mind. We weren't all friends from the beginning. The group grew larger with time."

"And why do you think you don't need friends?" San asked.

Seohyun looked at him, then looked away, trying to avoid his steel gaze. "Not the type of person anyone would like as a friend."

"We won't know until we try though," Wooyoung said and smiled at her, making Seohyun wonder why the world didn't have more Wooyoungs.

"No harm in trying, right?" Yunho, who was behind her, vouched in.

Seohyun stopped to look at the odd group of friends, who were all smiling cheekily.

"You sure, blueberry?" She asked Hongjoong, who gasped in surprise. Yunho laughed out loud.

"If you don't call me blueberry, then why not?"

"Blueberry." Seohyun said and turned to walk away, hearing everyone laugh and make fun of Hongjoong. She saw the familiar figure of the ghost she had decided to meet, and she motioned with her eyes to turn to their left.

The ghost understood and it waited for her to turn left too. Seohyun looked back once at the boys who were now a good few steps behind, and she turned left, hoping no one had seen her, saw the empty road and joined hands with the ghost. She felt the familiar feeling of her heart sinking and her stomach flipping as the ghost teleported her to where it wanted to go.

The boys, who did notice her turning left in a hurry, followed soon after, only to find a very empty road with no where she could have gone or hidden.

"She did turn left. Right?" Mingi asked.

"She did. Didn't she? Or am I losing it finally?" Jongho muttered.

"Maybe it wasn't her?" Wooyoung suggested.

"But it was her. The grey in her hair..." Yunho said. "Maybe she turned right?" He looked at his right, where a few students were walking too.

San had been watching her and he was very sure she had turned left. Where she had gone... was a mystery.

"Strange..."

---------------

"That's... horrible."

Seohyun stood in front of a small house, the white walls glaring back at her. The ghost, a young girl only her age, had just teleported her to an empty alley near this house, which belonged to her best friend. The ghost had just finished telling her how she had died; a road accident by a drunk driver. Since she had died an untimely death, she couldn't do anything about it except mourn over her own death.

"But... people who die in such accidents usually like to make sure justice is served, and get the perpetrator punished. Don't you wanna do that?"

"Oh, I did," the girl pushed her long black hair back, "my parents are doing a good job there, so I wanna let them continue. I don't... want them to know that I'm still here. They should find their peace with all this."

"Wow," Seohyun couldn't help but be amazed at how thoughtful this girl was, "that's very wise of you actually. So what are we doing here?"

"I checked on my friend, Chaeyoung, and it seems like she's not... doing well. I want to somehow let her know that I'm okay. I think that's when I'll be able to move on."

Seohyun, for once, felt actually sorry for the friend. She didn't have a best friend so she couldn't relate, but having someone like that in your life and so suddenly losing them... must be very sad.

"Okay, let's do this," Seohyun said, taking a deep breath and taking off her baseball cap off. She smoothened her uniform and finally rang the bell.

"What if someone else is home, and she creates a ruckus-"

"I checked, she's alone for now." The girl said, and again, she mentally applauded the girl for being so thoughtful.

"Hey, what was your name again? I mean how do I introduce-"

At that moment, a tall girl sporting a bob and puffy eyes fresh from crying opened the door.

"Hi," Seohyun said.

"Do I know you?" Chaeyeong asked.

"You don't, but I'm here to talk to you. I heard your friend recently passed away-" Seohyun paused when Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and attempted to shut the door at her face.

"Wait!" Seohyun said and Chaeyoung paused.

"My name is Soojin." The ghost finally said, and Seohyun looked at her once, catching her nervous stance before turning back to Chaeyoung.

"You might not believe it, but Soojin is here," Seohyun said, and Chaeyoung pursed her lips. "And I don't have all day, so I'll just prove it. Soojin told me some stuff only the two of you would know. How you had a crush on her brother for the longest time, how you want to meet your childhood best friend who's moved to the States, how-"

"Wait," Chaeyoung stepped out, "How- when did Soojin tell you this? Are you Soojin's friend?"

"My name is Seohyun. and I'm sure you've never heard of me from Soojin," Chaeyoung nodded and Seohyun continued, "Soojin is here. She hasn't been able to move on to the afterlife or whatever it is ahead because she can't stand seeing you in pain and blaming yourself because you invited her over to meet with you. She wants you to know that her parents are doing a great job at making sure the drunk driver gets punished, and she wants you to know it's not your fault."

Seohyun watched Chaeyoung's eyes fill with tears at that, and she put a hand in front of her mouth as tears fell, "She's really here?"

"Right here," Seohyun pointed towards where Soojin stood.

"Can't I see her?" Chaeyoung asked, "I want to see her one last time. If I can."

"I'm afraid not," Seohyun sighed, "I don't know if that's possible. But she can see you and hear you right now, just like me. So I'll leave you to say your last goodbye. You can call me when you're done, okay Soojin?"

Soojin nodded and Seohyun went into the little garden in the house to give them some space. She watched as Chaeyoung cried and spoke to her best friend for the last time, falling to her knees. Soojin couldn't touch her, but she patted her head and it was like Chaeyoung could actually feel it.

Seohyun looked up at the cloudy sky. For once, she wished it was sunnier.

After a few minutes, Soojin called out to Seohyun. She awkwardly patted Chaeyoung on the back, and Soojin started speaking as Seohyun told Chaeyoung that Soojin loved her, and yes, it was her who kept sticking their photo back at the wall to give her a sign, and she wanted Chaeyoung to stop talking to the walls because she won't be there to listen to her anymore and that would only make her look crazy (at which Chaeyoung laughed).

"I don't have a best friend, but you guys, you both had something special. And I'm saying this from my self, that I hope you cherish the bond you both had in your heart and really move on. Do what you want to, because life is short," Seohyun said and smiled.

"Thank you. I'll do my best," Chaeyoung wiped the last of her tears.

"She's going now," Seohyun said, "She wants you to smile so that's the last thing she sees."

Chaeyoung smiled as tears fell from her eyes, and Soojin said, "This fool. I told her to smile."

"Stop being so petty, Soojin, she is smiling!"

"What did she say?" Chaeyoung asked.

"She said she asked you to smile, not cry," Seohyun said and Chaeyoung burst out laughing.

Soojin thanked Seohyun for helping her, and she watched as she shut her eyes, and disappeared in an instant.

Seohyun sighed, and Chaeyoung understood. "Thank you, Seohyun. I hope we can meet again?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Seohyun shook her head, "I just hope you'll have a good life ahead."

"I feel bad for not doing anything for you, maybe I could take you for some coffee next time?"

"Well, actually," Seohyun looked around, "there is something you can do. Can you tell me where I am? And can you call me a taxi?"

-----------

It turned out Seohyun was actually quite a while from home, so Chaeyoung ended up paying for the taxi because she felt bad for Soojin being so thoughtless when she teleported her here (at which Seohyun admitted Soojin was one of the wisest ghosts she had encountered). About 40 minutes later, Seohyun decided to drop by at a food street, because she was starving.

Seohyun walked through the hustling street, various food carts lining the street, several restaurants and cafes amidst them. She decided jjajangmyeon would do, so she sat alone at the table in the street, waiting for her meal. She was too tired to look at her phone so she just watched the people walking and eating.

She wished Jiwoo was here. Better than having no company. She wouldn't admit it, but she had grown quite used to her company. Jiwoo still hadn't been able to recall her memories of who she was and how she died, and why she was still hanging around. So Seohyun had left her at it.

Seohyun was so lost thinking about Jiwoo that she didn't notice Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi approaching her until they stopped right in front of her.

"Of all the places," Seohyun wondered out loud, not caring how it might sound to them.

"It seems like we were meant to meet today," Mingi said dramatically, and Hongjoong slapped his arm as he said, "It looks like you haven't gone home yet. Isn't it very late?"

Seohyun sat back in her chair, putting one leg on top of the other. "And what do you care?"

"Ah, so that's what you meant when you said people don't like to have you as a friend," Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa gasped at his friend as he scolded him, but stopped when Seohyun laughed out loud.

"Since you're here, are you gonna take a seat or will you be continuing to walk aimlessly?"

"I guess we'll take a seat," Mingi said, and they all sat and decided to order food first.

"Aren't you cold?" Seonghwa asked, as he noticed how Seohyun put her bag on her bare legs.

"I am. But I'm okay," she said, and Seonghwa shook his head as he started to take off his jacket. "Oh please, I'm okay, I'll feel really bad if you do this."

"Nonsense, this is an extra layer anyway," Seonghwa handed her the jacket and she realized it was true; he did have many layers on him. So Seohyun put his jacket on her legs, muttering a thank you.

"So what's your story?" Hongjoong asked, and Seohyun raised her brows as she said, "You first. I'll talk after I have some food."

"Alright then," Hongjoong said, and told her how they all had been classmates since elementary, with Seonghwa and Hongjoong being friends since that time, until Wooyoung and Yeosang who had also been friends joined, then one by one the group grew.

"Interesting," Seohyun said, "And the 8 of you... How do you get along peacefully? I can't even get along with one."

Mingi pfft-ed at her. "We aren't exactly saints ourselves, but with us being 8, it becomes hard to take anyone serious."

Seohyun scoffed, "So the reason you all get along so well is because you all don't take anyone serious."

"Basically, yes," Mingi answered proudly, and food was served. Seohyun hungrily dig in, and Seonghwa scolded her for eating so quick.

"So with Seonghwa as a mother figure of the group," Seohyun began, "I can imagine why there is peace among all of you."

"Ha. ha. Very funny," Seonghwa rolled his eyes but Hongjoong and Mingi laughed, agreeing with her as they said, "She's not wrong."

She watched them bicker back and forth and wondered if this could really work out. They seemed very tightly knit, and she felt like an intruder. She wasn't even sure if they would feel comfortable with her. Why had they even asked her to be their friend?

"It really does show. That you've been friends for a long time," Seohyun commented, fiddling with her noodles.

"It does, huh?" Mingi smiled at her.

"Can I ask you something?" Seohyun said, and they nodded, "Why did you ask me to be your friend? I mean, you guys look okay as you are now. You don't need an extra friend in this group of yours. So why ask, and why me?"

"Well, how do I put it..." Hongjoong wondered out loud.

"You've got good aim," Mingi said, and for a second, Seohyun was lost before she realized.

"I didn't do that on purpose!" Seohyun's eyes were wide, and Mingi told her that he, of course, was joking, But he winked right after, which made her wonder if that was actually one of the reasons.

"Our group needs a girl. There are too many boys." Seonghwa said, and Seohyun raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure there's no lack of girls in your school."

"There isn't... but they are too... girly?" Hongjoong seemed to think how to put it, and Seohyun folded her arms.

"And what if I am girly too?" Seohyun countered.

"You're just the right amount of weird. Yeosang already clicked so well with you. San loves your cat. You sit in the middle of us. You have no friends. Now you can't avoid it."

"Wow, okay," Seohyun finished her noodles as she thought about what they had said. "And what if... we don't get along?" Seohyun asked.

"We're not exactly forcing you, are we?" Hongjoong asked and she nodded, "If you like to stay alone, then fine. But Wooyoung, it was his idea. And he really knows when a person needs a friend."

"Oh," Seohyun realized what he meant. She looked like she needed friends.

"Plus, we do get along well, don't you think?" Mingi smiled.

"Well, what can I say, except that you'll find me really weird. And okay, I can try. But one day, you're gonna wonder why you even thought we could be friends. You'll wish you'd never asked me."

The three of them stared at her. Seohyun stared back and once again, the three of them burst out laughing.

"We're already regretting. Was it so hard to make friends, Hongjoong?" Mingi asked.

"I don't even remember. Wow."

Seohyun couldn't help but laugh as she thought how it was gonna be. It was true. No one took anything serious.

Maybe they'll never find out about her ghost problems then.

Or maybe they'll never believe her.

----------

next